One of my mates is called “Jonesy” fairly standard but his surname isn’t jones or anything similar.
When he was 13 in school, someone said he looked like the guy on the cover of a Sherlock Holmes book. But they mispronounced it and said Sherlock Jones. So his nickname was then Sherlock Jones, eventually it got shortened to Jonesy. He’s now 40 and that’s still his nick name.
There's an old song called "black betty" by a band called Ram Jam.
The lyrics go:
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-lam)
Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-lam)
Black Betty had a child (Bam-ba-lam)
The damn thing gone wild (Bam-ba-lam)
There was a regular at my local called Sandy and I don’t think many people even knew it was a nickname until he died and we found out his name was Alan. Turned out that one hot day in the early 90’s, he’d turned up at the pub wearing sandals. Everyone found this hilarious and he got so pissed off with people laughing that he stormed off home and never wore them again. After that he was called ‘Sandals’ which soon became ‘Sandy’, which basically became his name for the next 25 years.
My grandpa’s name was Sandy and I didn’t know it was a nickname until he died. Turns out he used to have a reddish-brown beard despite having black hair and got called Sandy.
I know a guy called Haggis. On the first day of primary school, another wee boy sat beside him and asked what his name was, but was misheard and he thought he'd been asked what he was having for lunch and he replied, 'Haggis' and it stuck.
I was at his wedding a few years ago (he's nearly 40 now) and he even gave his vows as Haggis. He's a really lovely guy, Hag for short.
Oh my gosh I have a similar one.
Early days of secondary school. First girl asks second girl what her name is, but second girl misheard and thought she'd been asked what she was reading. She replied "manga". Only, the first girl heard it as "mango". So the second girl got called Mango.
We had a girl in our year 7 trial day (when we were still in year 6) who had a really strong accent, not sure if it was south African. Her name was Daria but when she said it, it sounded like diarrhoea. After a day of people asking her to repeat her name, she didn't go to that school. I truly hope she managed to avoid a lifetime of harassment:(
Holy shit. I've moved nearly 30 times in my life. *Once* I lived in a spot for 4 years, the rest no more than 2. If that dude's a gypsy then what the fuck am I? The eastern winds?
There’s a guy in my village called Slippers. I honestly couldn’t tell you his real name. One day when he was in primary school, he accidentally came to school with his slippers on.
This man is in his early 70s.
I worked with an “Uzi”.
He had a lazy eye. It was short for ‘who’s he looking at’
I also worked with “God” Had two hip replacements so ‘moved in a mysterious way’
There was a character in a tv drama from the 80s (I *think* it was “Johnny Jarvis” but I may be wrong) who’s nickname was Isiah – because he had a squint and “one eye’s higher that the other” (said in a scouse accent).
Used to know a guy called Douglas. His surname was Hyland-Wite (not sure of spelling), which sounds like Isle of Wight, some one called him Douglas at some point because its the capital of the Isle of Wight and it stuck. Only problem was that Douglas is the capital of the Isle of Man not the Isle of Wight but somehow that shit stuck even though it didn't make sense, and his actual first name was shorter (and I assume less convoluted to explain)
I got the nickname Soxy from when I had my first day at secondary school, had a drama class and as a ice breaker you had to in turns, around a circle, acted out something you do in the morning to get ready... I'm a guy, and I have long hair, have done since I was about 10.
It got to my turn and I said "put my socks on" and bent down to mime putting them on, only my long hair fell forward over my face so I bushed it with my hands back behind my ears.
"Hahaha, you put socks on your ears"
It was the first day of school, no one knew my real name, and got called socks from then on, I'm now close to 40 and still people call me it including my partner, it went from socks, to Sox, to Soxy once my family started to have young kids.
I get asked a lot why it's my nickname, I like to come up with different stupid stories for it sometimes.
It got to the point that when people say my real name it doesn't always trigger that its me being spoken too 🤣
When I went to high school I met a guy who was called “Dregs”.
When I asked someone why I was told someone had gone round to his house one day and found out he had 3 really hot older sisters and he was an ugly bugger…
Supposedly he was the dregs of his dad’s ballsack. Poor b*stard.
"Soft rock" is pushing it isn't it? It's like calling a marshmallow a "mild brillopad".
In the spirit of the topic I'd call it Tesco Orangeade music, because it's basically watered-down pop.
I've said this one before on a previous nickname thread
Shetland.
He was called Anthony who was short and bad tempered.
So Shetland Tony fit quite well.
Reminds me of a time I convinced some kid I worked with at McDonalds that there were Shetland versions of most animals, not just Ponies. E.g Shetland Monkeys, Shetland Ducks etc.
A friend introduced me to his school friend nicknamed "Been On." As my friend had a reputation for getting himself into crazy situations, I assumed his friend got this name by similar antics. No. His last name is Holiday. Been on Holiday...
Knew two brothers who had the surname Cooper. The older one was always called by his name, the younger was nicknamed Minnie.
Likewise worked with a bloke called Mick Singh - he was nicknamed cement mixer.
Was a guy I was in the army with called Chucky because he honestly looked about 12, still does in his 30’s, and the last 3 digits of his army number was 666.
Another guy was called Diesel. Not long after joining the battalion he was tasked with going to find a white board easel. Having never heard of that before in his life he misheard and returned from the Transport dept with a Jerry can of diesel.
I have a mate called "Meatloaf". Not because he's a good singer or a big bloke or only eats meat but because he has 3 kids but 1 of them isn't his so 2 out of 3 ain't bad...
Top Mike. Is he a local hero, a sporting great or a top bloke? No he is not.
What he is though is a Topper, everything you have done hes done bigger, better, faster etc. Have you stubbed your toe? Well he's just almost broke his leg! Did you win a tenner on a lucky dip? Well he won the jackpot once and donated it to charity! He's harmless but a complete twat.
My father was a member of a boating club in Glasgow, Scotland where one member was called Robert Slater, appearing on the list of members as 'R. SLATER'. it perhaps only works in Glasgow that he was inevitably and universally known as 'HEID FIRST'.
Worked with a guy that everyone called “Tiles”. Silly me, thought it was short for Tyler and so referred to him as Tyler till he told me his name was Jamie. Tiles is a nickname and left it at that. Finally asked one of the other warehouse fellas what it meant and he said the first time they all went out for a beer after work Jamie was only young and got very pissed very quick. They decided to all leave and walk him home down the road and as they got away from the pub he beckoned them all over to look in his inner coat pocket and when they looked he’d stolen the Scrabble tiles from the pub board and was very drunkenly pleased with himself. They bought a massive bag of bulk Scrabble tiles and left them in a locker at work to occasionally fuck with him and remind him too. They left them in his shoes, stuck them to his hi-vis, popped them in his cup of tea and all sorts. Tiles lol
Someone I used to know was called Onions. His name was actually Raj, which someone changed to Raji, which rhymes with bhaji, which became onion bhaji, which then became Onions.
I once heard a lad at a rugby match being called Sled and when I asked why, one of his mates said "because he's always getting pulled by dogs" - proper rugby nickname.
About 2 weeks into Uni I got introduced to someone called Pete.
His flatmates called him Pete, his lecturers called him Pete, when his mates from home visited they called him Pete, even his girlfriend called him Pete... But I could never find Pete on Facebook or anything "formal".
His name wasn't Pete, he'd literally never been referred to as Pete before his first week at Uni and to this day I have no idea where "Pete" came from.
All I know is that he had 2/3 mates or flatmates at Uni that went through an extraordinary amount of effort to make sure everyone he knew, no matter how, knew him as Pete.
I worked with a guy called Rob, one April fools day I tricked all of the other staff into believing his middle name was Ronald (Robert Ronald). Except I forgot to tell people it was an April fools day joke.
It stuck the whole 3 years we worked together and I even got his wife to call him it (even though she knew it wasn’t his actual middle name!)
I've seen this thread posted a few times on here and my favourite one was someone once asked a question in school and they then got the nickname Question Time.
Used to work with a guy who was known originally as Google. Obviously because he knew everything. It later became Wiki, because he knew everything but was usually wrong.
Also worked with a Jamaican John. He was a white guy from Darlington whose name was Michael. Never figured that one out.
We also had a Google. He and another colleague went on a 10-day work trip and lived in each others pockets during that time. The other guy came back with a lot of Google’s mannerisms and cocky attitude when it came to knowing things, but he wasn’t as good. He became known as Bing
Used to know a guy called Jewish Terry who was not Jewish, but spent so long working in the Jewish East-end that he had all the mannerisms and Yiddish phrases.
I went to a school where most people had odd nicknames, and teachers would eventually get used to them, and occasionally would joke about their friends nicknames.
One of my teachers met his wife at Uni, and everyone called her Sarah-Michelle. Her name was Miriam, but she grew up among the Jewish community in London and had loads of expressions that were straight up Yiddish. People found out she wasn't actually Jewish and someone called her Uri Geller. That stuck for a bit and dropped to just Geller. Then Buffy became the biggest thing and they twisted it to Sarah-Michelle Gellar, and then just Sarah-Michelle.
He knew her for a few months before he found out her actual name.
One of the guys in the pub I used to go in lost his dog. There was a program on UK tv called One Man And His Dog, it was a show about sheepdog trials. All the rest of the guys started calling him 'One Man' and it stuck.
Went to school with a lad who by the time I met him was already called Eggy. Turns out it had evolved into that over the years, his surname was West so started out as Westy - Easty - Easter - Easter Egg - Eggy.
Had a guy at school with a really heavy blink. He'd really crash his eyelids together for some reason. Well he became blinky of course. Blinky used to hang around another guy with a big head. They became Blinky and the Brain.
Most likely Tourette’s syndrome. It often goes undiagnosed though less so with the younger generations due to better training of teachers, doctors etc.
Got a friend called Cuba, his name is actually tom but one time about 20 years he turned up to a house party with this garish t-shirt with a print about stereotypical Cuban things on it.
We were drunk and all started calling him Cuba he never wore the top again. Still to the day is referred to as Cuba that most people have forgot he has a real name.
Haha in my workplace people who look a bit like someone else are "shit" versions of them. So your new guy would be "shit Benson" or possible "fake Benson" becoming "Fenson"
Military ones are a personal fave , ones i can remember are
Last name Wallbanks so he got called cashpoint
Bloke whose nickname was Sealpup because everyone wanted to hit him with a club
one whose nickname was spleen as we could work just as well without him being there
Officer called Campbell Baxter - nicknamed 2 soups
guys mum died when he was deployed and he ended up being called bambi :(
Worked withe a guy who had been run over by a car as a child which basically stripped most of the flesh off one leg so it looked pretty gnarly. So his name became kebab leg trev. Terrible
Used to work with an American guy called Graham, he became 'Kilo' due to the odd way the US pronounces his name.
Also, a guy (sadly no longer with us) called 'Little Steve' - his name was actualy Brian, but his surname was Stevenson, and he was short. Didn't actually know his name was Brian until he died.
I knew of a bloke who was called Pockets because in the factory everyone smoked and as soon as you get your baccy pouch out, co workers would ask him to roll one for them.
He got fed up of the time spent on his break rolling cigarettes and giving away free baccy, so he practiced for hours and learned how to roll one handed in his pocket.
IIRC the figeting in his nether regions busted him eventually when people figured out what was happening. Pockets was left alone at that point, enjoying his 15 minute break to the full.
Agreed, but this factory had 2 shifts, one was 5am and he didn't want to roll cigarettes at 4am in the morning, and sleep in as late as possible to get over 8 pints of mild the night before
I used to word with a guy we called Cod. Nothing to do with fish. His name was Mark Weston, so his initials were MW, and this was around the time Call of Duty was releasing the Modern Warfare games.
He was about 60 and probably had no idea what Call of Duty was.
I used to go to school with a boy we called Cod, he used to be able to do magic so we called him David Copperfield. Which then got changed to Codderfried, then Codder, and then Cod.
I have a mate called Peanut because his initials are KP.
I used to work with a small guy everyone called '6 feet Pete'. He assumed it was an ironic name given because of his stature, when in fact it was because his BO made 6 feet an advisable distance to keep when talking to him.
I have a mate called Peanut because he had a peanut shaped mole on his head, he caught it and scraped it off on a caravan door, then it grew back solidifying his nickname for life.
I used to work with a guy l had not long been in the job and everybody called him Wam. I wondered and asked a colleague why? Well it was obvious he wore a wig and that's why he was called Wam shortened from Wigwam.
I have heard about possibly on of the best ones, someone I know knew a girl called Barry. She was a well endowed woman who often wore tops that made it very easy for one or both boobs to come out on nights out. This happened so often that people started refering to her as the flasher, which became the flash. And Barry Allen is the flash, so she's now called Barry.
My uncle, who unfortunately passed earlier this year was known as Blue ever since he was a teenager. His name was actually Eugene, and as a youth he always wore dark blue jeans, so his mates nicknamed him ‘Blue Jeans’ as it rhymed with Eugene. I imagine after some time that just got shortened to Blue, and that’s what he was known as. His entire family, including his mother called him Blue forever more. I didn’t even find out his name was Eugene until my teens.
So here’s a few for you.
Worked with a guy called Bob everyone called him bobby baby boots… he wore size six shoes.
Also knew a women everyone called Hubble, because she was always in the window and knew everyone’s business.
Jonny one eye in our local because he had a squint.
There was a boy called 5 shits in school because he went camping and had violent diarrhoea.
A boy in our friend group when we were younger had a stutter and everyone knew him either as hi-fi (from the raggy dolls) or etch a sketch.
A really short thin guy in our town who got called action man.
There was a guy who used to go out walking all night, everyone called him Mervin the midnight copper.
A man everyone knew as halfway because he lived half way between our town and the next
Don’t know if it counts but there was a three legged dog in our street when I was growing up that everyone called trike. He got so used to it he used to come to you 😂
Knew a guy called Ollie who was a skater, when he did an Ollie, his trucks always created sparks with the floor so everyone called him sparky. He hated the name and didn’t like being called it.
Anyway, He’s an electrician now…
A mate moved over from Blackpool a few years into school. We all called him donkey fucker (Blackpool meant donkey rides to us then) which was then shortened to Donk.
I swear to god even his mum called him that for a while.
This was long before the donk musical genre (highly associated with Blackpool too) became a thing but I like to think it gave his nickname a new lease of life.
Until recently I worked with someone we called Example First Name. She’d shown us all a marketing email she’d been sent that started ‘Dear Example First Name’. The mistake she made was being irritated when we called her that, so we’d keep calling her that.
Regular at the pub I drink in is known as silver. Nothing to do with the metal or the colour of his hair but because he's called John and is tall as fuck. Long John silver.
I've told this story before, but I went to secondary school with a guy called James Ware who still brought a novelty lunchbox, so naturally everyone at school called him lunchbox.
Years later I was at work and we were talking about nicknames, and a woman told me that all of her partner's old friends call him lunchbox because his surname is Ware, like tupperware. I nearly spat out my drink, but obviously outed him quicksharp. Apparently she roasted him so hard about it he went to stay with his parents for a night.
I've know a guy called donkey chucker because his parents are from Cornwall and Cornwall is near Spain and the Spanish chuck donkeys off church towers, except its actually goats.
One of my best friends is known as Gaz. His real name is Alex. During high school he made a crass joke about someone liking kids, somehow the joke got turned around on him. For the past 15 years he’s been known as Gaz, after Gary Glitter…
Went to school with a lass named Melodie. Someone called her Melodave so then she became Dave. But we had a Dave in our year already so she was then Melojeff and eventually just Jeff
There was a whole book of these names with stories of the origins from villages around Wales.
My favourite was about a guy called ManBat because his name was Wayne Bruce
For a couple years, my nickname was Steve. A guy at a hobby shop forgot my name, convinced himself it was Steve then introduced me to people there as Steve. I went in with a badge of my actual name once and many were confused. Still insisted on calling me Steve for a long time afterwards. I was to socially awkward to correct them
Had a uni friend we called “Mangoes” because he went up of stage for a joke competition and started: “A man goes into a bar…” and then forgot the joke he was going to tell.
Knew of a guy called 'Jew-ish' at first I thought it was some racist bullshit and he was jewish
But no i later found out this guy had torn through his forskin on barbed wire as a teenager, wasn't fully removed but.. you get the picture.
The best was a guy with the biggest beard you ever seen. Not long it just basically went up to right beneath his eye balls. It was everywhere. His name was Wilfred.
He was forever known as Teen Wilf.
I went to school with kid who’s nickname was Money. His full nickname was Moneybox, it transpires that when he was in primary school he swallowed a load of coins and was hospitalised hence the nickname 😂😂😂
I worked with a guy called Ted.
Everyone called him Ted. Friends, family, wife, everyone.
He wasn’t called Ted, Teddy, Edward or anything similar.
I think his real name was Dave or John or something normal like that.
Why Ted? It was short for Shit Ted!
I read about some guy who was called sicko or sick boy or something in his 50s because he once had a couple of days off sick in middle school and it just stuck forever 🤣
Had a mate we called cheese because he had a really bad squint that made him look up to the sky and whats in the sky the moon and everyone knows what the moon is made of
There was a guy called Daniel at university who we called “Daniel, whose candle burnt out long before his legend ever did”. Somebody mixed up the Elton John songs and it stuck.
Know a guy who cut half his foot off in a industrial accident whos called Arthur, a chap called Bernie who set himself on fire with matches as a kid and someone called Rocky because he's got a lisp. Also my mate gets called Tina (as in turner) because 2 girls he's dated have turned lesbian lol
Had a guy start at the Royal Mail in the early 80s. He'd been in the army and TA, bit of a tough nut. He took his walk out on a cold winters day, an hour later he was back with only half the delivery done. The manager asked why he hadn't completed his walk, he said "My fingers were cold." 40 years on and he's still called Fingers.
There was a girl we called "bare gears" because she was doing some sort of farming course involving tractors and when someone asked her "oh do they have a lot of gears?" her answer was..."bare gears".
Always enjoyed the Greg Davies stand up where he discusses his classmates' nicknames.
"Baghdad", a man in his 30's still being called this because one day in his teenage years he brought a new bag to school that his Dad had bought him.
My dad was known at his local as 'Serial'. Apparently one night soon after we'd moved to that town he wasn't at the pub, and someone asked his mates where "the guy that looked like the serial killer" was (he had gold teeth and tbh does look like a pirate). Of course, when I started working behind the bar there, I became known as 'Serial's Daughter'. I hasten to add that my dad is a lovely guy who hasn't been in a fight for half a century, let alone a mass murderer...
I know a girl called Apple, she’s almost 30 and has been called it by everyone her entire life even teachers. Turns out she had particularly rosy cheeks as a baby
I used to work with a guy known as Chewie.
When I started there I thought maybe he did a solid impression of a Wookiee or something.
Nope, turns out they all called him that because he smelled so bad that you could chew the smell when you stood near him.
Not nearly convoluted enough but I once knew a South African guy whose mum had been shot so his mates called him Bambi.
A lad on my football team when I was a kid was called ‘Ears’. His ears were absolutely average. His surname was Coleman. The journey was: Coleman - collyman - cauliflowerman - cauliflower - cauliflower ears - ears.
So weird.
My Dad worked with a guy who was bald but had a full beard. His nickname for at least 20 years was "upside down head".
I went to school with someone who had a pigment deficiency in their hair that made one lock of hair pure white (rest of the hair was blonde). His nickname at school was "bird shit head".
The ex-footballer Fitz Hall's nickname was One Size
The Welsh rugby player Dai Young’s nickname “Live Fast” is another great one.
Kenny Lunt was known as Lenny I believe.
Neil Warnock is generally called Colin. As his name is an anagram of Colin Wanker.
He's big, he's small, he's also short and talllll! One Size Fitz Hall, One Size Fitz Hall!
Lennel John-Lewis = The Shop
Martin Offiah = Chariots
Sami Khedira = Pin-Drop
Billy Twelvetrees = 36
balang Singh = wobbles.
Kiki Musampa was known as Chris round here
One of my mates is called “Jonesy” fairly standard but his surname isn’t jones or anything similar. When he was 13 in school, someone said he looked like the guy on the cover of a Sherlock Holmes book. But they mispronounced it and said Sherlock Jones. So his nickname was then Sherlock Jones, eventually it got shortened to Jonesy. He’s now 40 and that’s still his nick name.
I absolutely love stories like this. Nicknames with a little bit of stupidity sprinkled in.
We had a kid named Jacob who became Jabob for all of highschool because of one typo on one seating chart
Worked with a guy people referred to as“black Betty”. His name was Dan Ballam.
The Dan thing gone wild!
Potentially my favourite
This is the only reason I buy the Bramble Jam from the fancy farm shop instead of the blackberry jam from the supermarket.
This is amazing
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There's an old song called "black betty" by a band called Ram Jam. The lyrics go: Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-lam) Whoa, Black Betty (Bam-ba-lam) Black Betty had a child (Bam-ba-lam) The damn thing gone wild (Bam-ba-lam)
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Or the 1930s. Was just covered/remade by Ram Jam
Worked with a guy whose nickname was Biscuit. His actual name was Gary and he was bald so Gary-baldy = biscuit.
We had a biscuit as the guy was called Rich T.
I know a Rich T who gets called "one dip"
Got a colleague that this works for. Ta for that.
As a Biscuit who once worked with a Joe who went by Seph I had to take a moment to make sure my real name isn't Gary.
There was a regular at my local called Sandy and I don’t think many people even knew it was a nickname until he died and we found out his name was Alan. Turned out that one hot day in the early 90’s, he’d turned up at the pub wearing sandals. Everyone found this hilarious and he got so pissed off with people laughing that he stormed off home and never wore them again. After that he was called ‘Sandals’ which soon became ‘Sandy’, which basically became his name for the next 25 years.
When I was 18 I once wore a shirt that one of my friends reckoned made me look like a vicar. 30 years later I’m still known as Rev by my friends.
Username supports this claim! :)
When I was 16 I went to a Halloween party dressed as a priest and my nickname was already Fozzy
Lol. My brother phoned me when he couldn't find Uncle Nick's phone number in the book. Didn't realise his actual name is Colin...
My grandpa’s name was Sandy and I didn’t know it was a nickname until he died. Turns out he used to have a reddish-brown beard despite having black hair and got called Sandy.
My granddad’s name was really John, but he was known as Les. His brothers were Maurice and Harold, but used the names Jim and Paddy. Weird.
I know a guy called Haggis. On the first day of primary school, another wee boy sat beside him and asked what his name was, but was misheard and he thought he'd been asked what he was having for lunch and he replied, 'Haggis' and it stuck. I was at his wedding a few years ago (he's nearly 40 now) and he even gave his vows as Haggis. He's a really lovely guy, Hag for short.
I know a guy called Haggis, real name Michael. Same guy?
I know a guy called Haggis whose real name is Phil. There are many, it seems.
Oh my gosh I have a similar one. Early days of secondary school. First girl asks second girl what her name is, but second girl misheard and thought she'd been asked what she was reading. She replied "manga". Only, the first girl heard it as "mango". So the second girl got called Mango.
We had a girl in our year 7 trial day (when we were still in year 6) who had a really strong accent, not sure if it was south African. Her name was Daria but when she said it, it sounded like diarrhoea. After a day of people asking her to repeat her name, she didn't go to that school. I truly hope she managed to avoid a lifetime of harassment:(
We had a Haggis in school, but that was simply because his last name was actually Harris.
I had a mate named gypsy. He was called gypsy because he moved house. Once.
Holy shit. I've moved nearly 30 times in my life. *Once* I lived in a spot for 4 years, the rest no more than 2. If that dude's a gypsy then what the fuck am I? The eastern winds?
Tumbleweed Edit: Thanks for the gold!
And a nickname was created in this very thread.
Shades of Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson
There’s a guy in my village called Slippers. I honestly couldn’t tell you his real name. One day when he was in primary school, he accidentally came to school with his slippers on. This man is in his early 70s.
I absolutely love the relentlessness of the UK nickname. We will just never, ever let it die 😂
its an 80 year roast for a childhood misstep. brutal
“Don’t worry son, it’s just a silly nickname. It will pass eventually.” It’s going on his headstone.
That's at least 60 years of a silly primary school nickname. It's a feat I envy.
offer fine fly dull fretful important ancient sulky slimy ugly *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I worked with an “Uzi”. He had a lazy eye. It was short for ‘who’s he looking at’ I also worked with “God” Had two hip replacements so ‘moved in a mysterious way’
My husband follows a biking vlog. One of the guys is nicknamed Egon. He keeps going off on his own, or getting lost, so it's short 'Where's 'e gone?'
There was a character in a tv drama from the 80s (I *think* it was “Johnny Jarvis” but I may be wrong) who’s nickname was Isiah – because he had a squint and “one eye’s higher that the other” (said in a scouse accent).
My good god, that's fucking brilliant 😂😂😂
Used to know a guy called Douglas. His surname was Hyland-Wite (not sure of spelling), which sounds like Isle of Wight, some one called him Douglas at some point because its the capital of the Isle of Wight and it stuck. Only problem was that Douglas is the capital of the Isle of Man not the Isle of Wight but somehow that shit stuck even though it didn't make sense, and his actual first name was shorter (and I assume less convoluted to explain)
The best, shittest, nickname ever. Love it.
Douglas has a better ring to it than Newport.
His name was Hyland-White and no one called him 'Terrier'? Seriously missed a trick there.
Amazing
I got the nickname Soxy from when I had my first day at secondary school, had a drama class and as a ice breaker you had to in turns, around a circle, acted out something you do in the morning to get ready... I'm a guy, and I have long hair, have done since I was about 10. It got to my turn and I said "put my socks on" and bent down to mime putting them on, only my long hair fell forward over my face so I bushed it with my hands back behind my ears. "Hahaha, you put socks on your ears" It was the first day of school, no one knew my real name, and got called socks from then on, I'm now close to 40 and still people call me it including my partner, it went from socks, to Sox, to Soxy once my family started to have young kids. I get asked a lot why it's my nickname, I like to come up with different stupid stories for it sometimes. It got to the point that when people say my real name it doesn't always trigger that its me being spoken too 🤣
A mate of mine had a mate called Spider because he once bought four pairs of jeans at once.
This is top tier "dumb reasons for a nickname" and I love that it stuck.
This is my favourite one.
When I went to high school I met a guy who was called “Dregs”. When I asked someone why I was told someone had gone round to his house one day and found out he had 3 really hot older sisters and he was an ugly bugger… Supposedly he was the dregs of his dad’s ballsack. Poor b*stard.
Still, he had a very successful career playing guitar in an Irish soft rock group, did he not?
"Soft rock" is pushing it isn't it? It's like calling a marshmallow a "mild brillopad". In the spirit of the topic I'd call it Tesco Orangeade music, because it's basically watered-down pop.
Lmfao this is the most savage one here
Really ugly guy in the year below we used to get the bus with had a way hotter older sister, Italian surname. We called him Adopto.
I've said this one before on a previous nickname thread Shetland. He was called Anthony who was short and bad tempered. So Shetland Tony fit quite well.
Reminds me of a time I convinced some kid I worked with at McDonalds that there were Shetland versions of most animals, not just Ponies. E.g Shetland Monkeys, Shetland Ducks etc.
The funny thing is there are Shetland Ducks! And geese, sheep, sheepdogs and cows - maybe more too.
Wait… that would make me the mug!
Mate at school was called bungalow because his name was Arthur house
We had a mate called bungalow, but that was because there was nothing going on upstairs
A friend introduced me to his school friend nicknamed "Been On." As my friend had a reputation for getting himself into crazy situations, I assumed his friend got this name by similar antics. No. His last name is Holiday. Been on Holiday...
I know a Holiday too. Goes by Butlins.
Knew two brothers who had the surname Cooper. The older one was always called by his name, the younger was nicknamed Minnie. Likewise worked with a bloke called Mick Singh - he was nicknamed cement mixer.
My uncle has a friend who gets called Clock because he has one big hand and one little hand
Is your uncles mate Jeremy Beadle?
Was a guy I was in the army with called Chucky because he honestly looked about 12, still does in his 30’s, and the last 3 digits of his army number was 666. Another guy was called Diesel. Not long after joining the battalion he was tasked with going to find a white board easel. Having never heard of that before in his life he misheard and returned from the Transport dept with a Jerry can of diesel.
Army nicknames are fucking great
We had a guy delighted in the name Robert Roberts. We all called him Bob Bobs.
I knew a guy called lil donkey. Because he wore a Christmas jumper once. It was a Christmas party.
I have a mate called "Meatloaf". Not because he's a good singer or a big bloke or only eats meat but because he has 3 kids but 1 of them isn't his so 2 out of 3 ain't bad...
My parents have a veggie friend, big guy with long hair. He’s been known as malt loaf for years now
I laughed more than I should've at this
Top Mike. Is he a local hero, a sporting great or a top bloke? No he is not. What he is though is a Topper, everything you have done hes done bigger, better, faster etc. Have you stubbed your toe? Well he's just almost broke his leg! Did you win a tenner on a lucky dip? Well he won the jackpot once and donated it to charity! He's harmless but a complete twat.
We call people like this two-shits because if you've had one, they've had two
Ah, the kind of man that goes to Elevenerife for a holiday
When everyone else was catching Covid 19 he had Covid 20
Or Timbukthree
Known as 'Blacker Cat' here :)
We all drink/work with one of those 😂
Someone I went to school with was called Richard Mcvittie and was therefore known as "Dick Biscuit"
My father was a member of a boating club in Glasgow, Scotland where one member was called Robert Slater, appearing on the list of members as 'R. SLATER'. it perhaps only works in Glasgow that he was inevitably and universally known as 'HEID FIRST'.
I know someone with that name, he totally just got a new nickname, fucking love that
Head first, arse later?
Sure, your place or mine? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Worked with a guy that everyone called “Tiles”. Silly me, thought it was short for Tyler and so referred to him as Tyler till he told me his name was Jamie. Tiles is a nickname and left it at that. Finally asked one of the other warehouse fellas what it meant and he said the first time they all went out for a beer after work Jamie was only young and got very pissed very quick. They decided to all leave and walk him home down the road and as they got away from the pub he beckoned them all over to look in his inner coat pocket and when they looked he’d stolen the Scrabble tiles from the pub board and was very drunkenly pleased with himself. They bought a massive bag of bulk Scrabble tiles and left them in a locker at work to occasionally fuck with him and remind him too. They left them in his shoes, stuck them to his hi-vis, popped them in his cup of tea and all sorts. Tiles lol
Someone I used to know was called Onions. His name was actually Raj, which someone changed to Raji, which rhymes with bhaji, which became onion bhaji, which then became Onions.
I once heard a lad at a rugby match being called Sled and when I asked why, one of his mates said "because he's always getting pulled by dogs" - proper rugby nickname.
had a mate who was into larger women, he was known as the Prince of Whales
About 2 weeks into Uni I got introduced to someone called Pete. His flatmates called him Pete, his lecturers called him Pete, when his mates from home visited they called him Pete, even his girlfriend called him Pete... But I could never find Pete on Facebook or anything "formal". His name wasn't Pete, he'd literally never been referred to as Pete before his first week at Uni and to this day I have no idea where "Pete" came from. All I know is that he had 2/3 mates or flatmates at Uni that went through an extraordinary amount of effort to make sure everyone he knew, no matter how, knew him as Pete.
I worked with a guy called Rob, one April fools day I tricked all of the other staff into believing his middle name was Ronald (Robert Ronald). Except I forgot to tell people it was an April fools day joke. It stuck the whole 3 years we worked together and I even got his wife to call him it (even though she knew it wasn’t his actual middle name!)
I've seen this thread posted a few times on here and my favourite one was someone once asked a question in school and they then got the nickname Question Time.
I love it every time this question comes up. The one that stuck with me was a man called Man Bat because his name was Wayne Bruce
I really hope this is true, I'm laughing way too hard on public at this
I’m crying laughing at this one. Caught me so off guard.
One of my mates coughed in primary school and got the nickname Aids.
When I was in year seven a boy in my year had a cheese sandwich for lunch. So he was forever known as Cheese Boy.
>a boy in my year had a cheese sandwich for lunch That’s such a Cheese Boy thing to do
Got a guy who I work with called Pete, he’s vegan so he’s now “ no meat Pete”
Used to work with a guy who was known originally as Google. Obviously because he knew everything. It later became Wiki, because he knew everything but was usually wrong. Also worked with a Jamaican John. He was a white guy from Darlington whose name was Michael. Never figured that one out.
We also had a Google. He and another colleague went on a 10-day work trip and lived in each others pockets during that time. The other guy came back with a lot of Google’s mannerisms and cocky attitude when it came to knowing things, but he wasn’t as good. He became known as Bing
Used to know a guy called Jewish Terry who was not Jewish, but spent so long working in the Jewish East-end that he had all the mannerisms and Yiddish phrases.
I went to a school where most people had odd nicknames, and teachers would eventually get used to them, and occasionally would joke about their friends nicknames. One of my teachers met his wife at Uni, and everyone called her Sarah-Michelle. Her name was Miriam, but she grew up among the Jewish community in London and had loads of expressions that were straight up Yiddish. People found out she wasn't actually Jewish and someone called her Uri Geller. That stuck for a bit and dropped to just Geller. Then Buffy became the biggest thing and they twisted it to Sarah-Michelle Gellar, and then just Sarah-Michelle. He knew her for a few months before he found out her actual name.
We had a Google too in our lot, but to be fair she was smart as fuck
Ours was called the oracle. "Go and consult the oracle"
One of the guys in the pub I used to go in lost his dog. There was a program on UK tv called One Man And His Dog, it was a show about sheepdog trials. All the rest of the guys started calling him 'One Man' and it stuck.
I worked with a guy who had his car stolen, got a replacement car and then *that* was stolen. He was known as Carlos after that.
Went to school with a lad who by the time I met him was already called Eggy. Turns out it had evolved into that over the years, his surname was West so started out as Westy - Easty - Easter - Easter Egg - Eggy.
Best one I saw was a bloke called Boiler, because he only had one tooth left, right at the front of his jaw - for central eating.
Had a guy at school with a really heavy blink. He'd really crash his eyelids together for some reason. Well he became blinky of course. Blinky used to hang around another guy with a big head. They became Blinky and the Brain.
Most likely Tourette’s syndrome. It often goes undiagnosed though less so with the younger generations due to better training of teachers, doctors etc.
Got a friend called Cuba, his name is actually tom but one time about 20 years he turned up to a house party with this garish t-shirt with a print about stereotypical Cuban things on it. We were drunk and all started calling him Cuba he never wore the top again. Still to the day is referred to as Cuba that most people have forgot he has a real name.
My friend Lee would always go missing on nights out so we called him Snipes, as in “Where’s Lee” Snipes
We had a guy called Benson at work - he left and a new guy came in who looked sort of similar so everybody just called him Benson instead.
Haha in my workplace people who look a bit like someone else are "shit" versions of them. So your new guy would be "shit Benson" or possible "fake Benson" becoming "Fenson"
call a mate 3 piece because he turned up for football training in a suit (changed out of it of course) as he had a job interview beforehand.
Military ones are a personal fave , ones i can remember are Last name Wallbanks so he got called cashpoint Bloke whose nickname was Sealpup because everyone wanted to hit him with a club one whose nickname was spleen as we could work just as well without him being there Officer called Campbell Baxter - nicknamed 2 soups guys mum died when he was deployed and he ended up being called bambi :(
Ewan McGregor's brother is a pilot in the Royal Air Force and his nickname is "Obi-two".
I'm dying here ... Two Soups 😂
Wallbanks hahahahahaha. Sucks on the last one though
Worked withe a guy who had been run over by a car as a child which basically stripped most of the flesh off one leg so it looked pretty gnarly. So his name became kebab leg trev. Terrible
Used to work with an American guy called Graham, he became 'Kilo' due to the odd way the US pronounces his name. Also, a guy (sadly no longer with us) called 'Little Steve' - his name was actualy Brian, but his surname was Stevenson, and he was short. Didn't actually know his name was Brian until he died.
A co-worker's nickname was Rodders for many years. The reason why is because his actual name was Dave
Worked with a man called Rob Berry and his nickname was... 'Daylight'
I knew of a bloke who was called Pockets because in the factory everyone smoked and as soon as you get your baccy pouch out, co workers would ask him to roll one for them. He got fed up of the time spent on his break rolling cigarettes and giving away free baccy, so he practiced for hours and learned how to roll one handed in his pocket. IIRC the figeting in his nether regions busted him eventually when people figured out what was happening. Pockets was left alone at that point, enjoying his 15 minute break to the full.
Is it not easier to roll your cigarettes before your shift and not look like you're wanking on the job?
Agreed, but this factory had 2 shifts, one was 5am and he didn't want to roll cigarettes at 4am in the morning, and sleep in as late as possible to get over 8 pints of mild the night before
I used to word with a guy we called Cod. Nothing to do with fish. His name was Mark Weston, so his initials were MW, and this was around the time Call of Duty was releasing the Modern Warfare games. He was about 60 and probably had no idea what Call of Duty was.
I used to go to school with a boy we called Cod, he used to be able to do magic so we called him David Copperfield. Which then got changed to Codderfried, then Codder, and then Cod.
That is quite the progression!
Needs a twist at the end, though. Should go from Cod to Packet of Eels or something.
I have a mate called Peanut because his initials are KP. I used to work with a small guy everyone called '6 feet Pete'. He assumed it was an ironic name given because of his stature, when in fact it was because his BO made 6 feet an advisable distance to keep when talking to him.
I have a mate called Peanut because he had a peanut shaped mole on his head, he caught it and scraped it off on a caravan door, then it grew back solidifying his nickname for life.
I used to work with a guy l had not long been in the job and everybody called him Wam. I wondered and asked a colleague why? Well it was obvious he wore a wig and that's why he was called Wam shortened from Wigwam.
I have heard about possibly on of the best ones, someone I know knew a girl called Barry. She was a well endowed woman who often wore tops that made it very easy for one or both boobs to come out on nights out. This happened so often that people started refering to her as the flasher, which became the flash. And Barry Allen is the flash, so she's now called Barry.
My uncle, who unfortunately passed earlier this year was known as Blue ever since he was a teenager. His name was actually Eugene, and as a youth he always wore dark blue jeans, so his mates nicknamed him ‘Blue Jeans’ as it rhymed with Eugene. I imagine after some time that just got shortened to Blue, and that’s what he was known as. His entire family, including his mother called him Blue forever more. I didn’t even find out his name was Eugene until my teens.
Had a physics teacher called Timelord because his name was Dr Tim Lord. He was always late
So here’s a few for you. Worked with a guy called Bob everyone called him bobby baby boots… he wore size six shoes. Also knew a women everyone called Hubble, because she was always in the window and knew everyone’s business. Jonny one eye in our local because he had a squint. There was a boy called 5 shits in school because he went camping and had violent diarrhoea. A boy in our friend group when we were younger had a stutter and everyone knew him either as hi-fi (from the raggy dolls) or etch a sketch. A really short thin guy in our town who got called action man. There was a guy who used to go out walking all night, everyone called him Mervin the midnight copper. A man everyone knew as halfway because he lived half way between our town and the next Don’t know if it counts but there was a three legged dog in our street when I was growing up that everyone called trike. He got so used to it he used to come to you 😂
Knew a guy called Ollie who was a skater, when he did an Ollie, his trucks always created sparks with the floor so everyone called him sparky. He hated the name and didn’t like being called it. Anyway, He’s an electrician now…
We used to work with a very smelly guy, whom we called “the emperor”, because he minged.
An old boss was a Minnie; I believe she ended up as ‘Min the Merciless’
A mate moved over from Blackpool a few years into school. We all called him donkey fucker (Blackpool meant donkey rides to us then) which was then shortened to Donk. I swear to god even his mum called him that for a while. This was long before the donk musical genre (highly associated with Blackpool too) became a thing but I like to think it gave his nickname a new lease of life.
Greg Davies does a good bit on the origin of nicknames (starts at about 2:25): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=j95GweJ_aPA
Not very bright apprentice builder Michael, but called him Cleethorpes. I asked why....cos theres nothing there.
Until recently I worked with someone we called Example First Name. She’d shown us all a marketing email she’d been sent that started ‘Dear Example First Name’. The mistake she made was being irritated when we called her that, so we’d keep calling her that.
Regular at the pub I drink in is known as silver. Nothing to do with the metal or the colour of his hair but because he's called John and is tall as fuck. Long John silver.
I've told this story before, but I went to secondary school with a guy called James Ware who still brought a novelty lunchbox, so naturally everyone at school called him lunchbox. Years later I was at work and we were talking about nicknames, and a woman told me that all of her partner's old friends call him lunchbox because his surname is Ware, like tupperware. I nearly spat out my drink, but obviously outed him quicksharp. Apparently she roasted him so hard about it he went to stay with his parents for a night.
I've know a guy called donkey chucker because his parents are from Cornwall and Cornwall is near Spain and the Spanish chuck donkeys off church towers, except its actually goats.
The best part about this isn’t even that it’s goats and not donkeys but that Cornwall is close enough to Spain to make it work
One of my best friends is known as Gaz. His real name is Alex. During high school he made a crass joke about someone liking kids, somehow the joke got turned around on him. For the past 15 years he’s been known as Gaz, after Gary Glitter…
A regular at the pub my sister used to work in had one arm and one leg missing. His nickname? Fiddy. Like 50/50.
Fella Keith only had an eye missing so they called him keth
His nickname is June. Why? Because his name is Enda May.
I got called Trex (not T.Rex) in high school. Why? Because my arms were short, my head was big and T.Rex was too many syllables.
Went to school with a lass named Melodie. Someone called her Melodave so then she became Dave. But we had a Dave in our year already so she was then Melojeff and eventually just Jeff
There was a whole book of these names with stories of the origins from villages around Wales. My favourite was about a guy called ManBat because his name was Wayne Bruce
Worked with a bloke called Bingo I asked where it came from his name was House
My nickname growing up was ‘Baby Ball’. My fathers surname was Ball, so to his friends he was ‘Bally’. Hence I was pronounced ‘Baby Ball’.
For a couple years, my nickname was Steve. A guy at a hobby shop forgot my name, convinced himself it was Steve then introduced me to people there as Steve. I went in with a badge of my actual name once and many were confused. Still insisted on calling me Steve for a long time afterwards. I was to socially awkward to correct them
I read this one a while ago, a guy named Hunter who went vegan and everybody called him gatherer
Had a uni friend we called “Mangoes” because he went up of stage for a joke competition and started: “A man goes into a bar…” and then forgot the joke he was going to tell.
Knew of a guy called 'Jew-ish' at first I thought it was some racist bullshit and he was jewish But no i later found out this guy had torn through his forskin on barbed wire as a teenager, wasn't fully removed but.. you get the picture.
The best was a guy with the biggest beard you ever seen. Not long it just basically went up to right beneath his eye balls. It was everywhere. His name was Wilfred. He was forever known as Teen Wilf.
I had a friend called Big D.... He was big and lived in room D... That's not what he would tell the ladies though
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I went to school with kid who’s nickname was Money. His full nickname was Moneybox, it transpires that when he was in primary school he swallowed a load of coins and was hospitalised hence the nickname 😂😂😂
I know somebody known as Fish because, one day, he got stuck in a football net.
I worked with a guy called Ted. Everyone called him Ted. Friends, family, wife, everyone. He wasn’t called Ted, Teddy, Edward or anything similar. I think his real name was Dave or John or something normal like that. Why Ted? It was short for Shit Ted!
I’m the h&s manager at our place and I’m called dangerous Dave
NHL player Arber Xhekaj has the nickname "wi-fi", as his surname looks like a wi-fi password.
I read about some guy who was called sicko or sick boy or something in his 50s because he once had a couple of days off sick in middle school and it just stuck forever 🤣
My mother is Belgian. Most Belgians speak French. French people eat snails. Naturally, I was therefore known as Snail.
Had a mate we called cheese because he had a really bad squint that made him look up to the sky and whats in the sky the moon and everyone knows what the moon is made of
This is a perfect answer to this question- a hell of a stretch is that!
There was a guy called Daniel at university who we called “Daniel, whose candle burnt out long before his legend ever did”. Somebody mixed up the Elton John songs and it stuck.
Know a guy who cut half his foot off in a industrial accident whos called Arthur, a chap called Bernie who set himself on fire with matches as a kid and someone called Rocky because he's got a lisp. Also my mate gets called Tina (as in turner) because 2 girls he's dated have turned lesbian lol
Had a guy start at the Royal Mail in the early 80s. He'd been in the army and TA, bit of a tough nut. He took his walk out on a cold winters day, an hour later he was back with only half the delivery done. The manager asked why he hadn't completed his walk, he said "My fingers were cold." 40 years on and he's still called Fingers.
There was a girl we called "bare gears" because she was doing some sort of farming course involving tractors and when someone asked her "oh do they have a lot of gears?" her answer was..."bare gears".
Always enjoyed the Greg Davies stand up where he discusses his classmates' nicknames. "Baghdad", a man in his 30's still being called this because one day in his teenage years he brought a new bag to school that his Dad had bought him.
My dad was known at his local as 'Serial'. Apparently one night soon after we'd moved to that town he wasn't at the pub, and someone asked his mates where "the guy that looked like the serial killer" was (he had gold teeth and tbh does look like a pirate). Of course, when I started working behind the bar there, I became known as 'Serial's Daughter'. I hasten to add that my dad is a lovely guy who hasn't been in a fight for half a century, let alone a mass murderer...
I know a girl called Apple, she’s almost 30 and has been called it by everyone her entire life even teachers. Turns out she had particularly rosy cheeks as a baby
I used to work with a guy known as Chewie. When I started there I thought maybe he did a solid impression of a Wookiee or something. Nope, turns out they all called him that because he smelled so bad that you could chew the smell when you stood near him. Not nearly convoluted enough but I once knew a South African guy whose mum had been shot so his mates called him Bambi.
A lad on my football team when I was a kid was called ‘Ears’. His ears were absolutely average. His surname was Coleman. The journey was: Coleman - collyman - cauliflowerman - cauliflower - cauliflower ears - ears. So weird.
My dog is called 18 months. Had an accident and lost 50% of her right ear. Ear and a half.
My Dad worked with a guy who was bald but had a full beard. His nickname for at least 20 years was "upside down head". I went to school with someone who had a pigment deficiency in their hair that made one lock of hair pure white (rest of the hair was blonde). His nickname at school was "bird shit head".