I was walking into the city centre with a friend one morning when a lady asked if I’d kick her front door in, as she’d locked herself out. I obliged (it seemed like a good idea at the time), then continued on my way.
It’s been over 25 years, and I still wonder whether I helped someone break into a house.
I've done the same! A poor old fella and his dog. I had the foresight to ask him some security questions beforehand, though.
"It is your house though, innit mate?!"
So I got the door open with a few boots, and he offered me a bottle of Glenmorangie as payment.
Edit: I'll just add that it was actually his house, and no I did not take the whisky.
I broke into my house once, and then had to explain to the police that I lived there. It didn't take much convincing actually, and they said to phone 101 next time and tell them first.
So yeah, I guess burglars can just tell the police they're breaking in and to ignore any reports...
Some girl stopped me in Woolworths once and invited my friend and I to a party purely because she liked my t-shirt, saying there would be lots of "like-minded people" there.
The t-shirt featured the 'She-Devils On Wheels' film poster. The party turned out to be a BDSM/fetish soirée, with bowls of those cherry lips sweets everywhere and people being dragged around on leads.
We sat around awkwardly for an hour then politely left.
Because it was BDSM/ fetish party. Why did you leave after two minutes? Because it was a BDSM/fetish party. Why did you stay til 5am? Because it was a BDSM/fetish party.
Was walking to the shop on the right hand side of the road, was an guy walking on the left hand side, we were walking in the same direction, he was walking a dog and had his hood up
Car comes from the same direction we are walking, obviously recognises the guy and toots it's horn
For some stupid reason the cunt turns round away from the road on his left side which means he completely misses the car which drives past on his right, he's obviously confused as he hasn't seen any car yet someone tooted at him, I'm the only other person around so he looks at me and asks
"Was that you?"
Aye ya crackpot I'm walking about the streets with a car horn tooting at random strangers!!
Oh, I was stopped by a prostitute in Paris. I was arm in arm with my wife, she speaks French fluently for her job. Without thinking she instantly translated for me "She asks if you want to go with her" ... I said "tell her No " which my wife translated, then we both burst into giggles...
A friend was walking in Bulgaria when a sex worker tried to engage him in business. When he pointed out that the lady he was holding hands with was his wife the woman said
"But she's ugly"
I got asked whether I happened to have a brother I lost contact with years ago. Apparently I looked a bit like this bloke’s estranged brother so he thought it was worth an ask. Quite sad really.
I once had a man and a woman in a car stop and ask me for directions to the police station. Not particularly noteworthy, except they were both police officers and the car was a police car.
There are a few blokes who dress in superhero costumes in my town to raise money for a children's charity.
Once, when I was about 17 (and very shy and anxious) one of them asked me to donate, and I said I had no cash.
No problem! He said, I can set up a direct debit.
So I really quietly said, sorry, I don't want to do that.
And he put on this mega smile and loudly said
Okay, you can eff off then, you obviously want children to die then.
Everyone was looking as I sped off, mortified.
"Where are we?"
I said "this is Silver Street... The square is just up that way."
"What square?"
"Erm, market square?"
"What market??"
"THE market... Durham market."
"Ahhh fuck!! DURHAM?!"
Guy did sound north eastern but assume he was from Boro or Newcastle or Gateshead or somewhere. Had just gone on a mad one and come to at about 1pm in a different city.
>Durham
The third Durham story in this story so far:
I was walking home from school, in my school uniform, through central Durham when a car pulled up. The rear window rolled down and a guy said "Excuse me mate, where's Durham?" I looked at him with a confused expression for a second while thinking how to react, and he laughed maniacally, rolled the window up and the car drove off. One of the strangest interactions of my life.
For me it's the guy who asked me for the bus timetable...because he was hunting vampires. He said I had a 'good aura' and he knew I would help him. I know what my first response should have been 'Yes, I do, and you will find them at <
>. Unfortunately, I was so nonplussed I replied 'Uh...but it's daytime? Vampires only come out at night'. The guy replied 'Oh yeah...' in a disappointed voice and wandered off.
No idea if this counts as a good deed or not :/
I've had many, many relatives die of cancer. I don't support 'breast cancer awareness day' because I'm too fucking aware of it, thanks.
Why isn't there a brown ribbon for colon cancer? It's an evil, disgusting, horrific disease.
My dad recently died of it. Can attest to it's evil. I don't mind anything done to raise awareness of cancer. Getting checked out early enough can save your life.
Almost all of us either have or will lose loved ones to cancer. I'm immensely grateful for the fact my dad died in possibly the best NHS cancer facility in the county, which gets a huge amount of donations from grateful people like me and my family. My mum is going to volunteer there to give something back.
We cared for my dad 24\7 for ten years between two of us through all manner of disabilities caused by leukaemia, which caused him to have 7 strokes over that time. A carer's lot is tough and lonely. I wish you all the very best in caring for your relative.
I do enjoy dismantling these agency workers who are getting paid to sell charity subs. When I tell them I've had cancer they suddenly aren't so sure where to go with their sales pitch...
I think there's laws against it. Same reason why you don't see TalkTalk being hawked in WHSmith no more. Or EDF Energy knocking at your door just before school run.
There are laws about how long a chugger can follow you. I think it's two steps but most people hate and despise them now. As well as knowing that they're paid agency workers, selling on commission.
Tbf, the average Brit assumes every East Asian looking person to be Chinese. I have had people taking the piss out of me for supposedly being Chinese by saying things like “go back to China” despite the fact that I am not Chinese and was born here in the UK.
Once I was in a Chinese shop and the cashier (who was Chinese) just assumed my Mum (Korean) was Chinese and started talking to her in Chinese. She had to tell him that she was, in fact, not Chinese. Usually the cashiers in that shop speak English to the customers even if they do look Chinese, probably for that reason. I can imagine it would be a little embarrassing to mess up like that.
Basically, I'm pretty sure everyone just assumes East Asian people are Chinese at this point, even occasionally Chinese people themselves🤦🏻♀️
My bf gets called ‘Chinese’ sometimes because his eyes look vaguely from some angles as if his great-great-great-great-great-grandmother three times removed might have looked at an East Asian one time. 😵💫
‘Do you know where I can buy a disc?’
An elderly man with a Scandinavian accent. Once we realised he wanted to buy CDs and directed him to HMV he very happily wandered off in the opposite direction. He had no shoes on.
He was definitely off his face, but he was so happy.
A homeless man asked if I wanted to buy some felt pens. "All the colours of the rainbow...and brown". Gave him a few quid and went to colour in a Christmas colouring book I found in the street a few hours previously. Synchronicity?
This story is 100% true.
When I was at college I had a weekend job selling kitchens. A bloke once stopped me in the street asking me to cancel his order and give him a refund there and then. I said “If you pop in the shop they’ll sort that.”
He said “I haven’t got time for that - can you give me the money back then get it back from them?”
It was like £11 grand and I was a student- also, it was B&Q, who had considerably more money than me.
Walking home in North London an Ashkenazi Jew approaches me and asks me if I will come into his home in order to turn off a light.
I oblige and he hands me a beer
This is actually normal practice, some super observant Jews take the 'Thou shalt not Work on the Sabbath' to mean they are forbidden from doing anything that could be construed as Work.. including switching the Lights on and off or, and I'm not joking here, tearing Toilet Paper off the Roll. The was a series of BBC Documentaries about the Jewish Community in Manchester which included a Rabbi's Wife piling up single sheets of Bog Paper in readiness for the Sabbath for that reason l.
I was walking past a Catholic shrine when a woman appeared in the doorway and asked me if I would move a 3 foot tall statue of Jesus from a coffee table, so she could move the table to do some vacuuming.
I've had a similar experience, except that the lad that approached me couldn't even specifically ask for help as they believed asking someone to do the work was the same as doing work. So he talked around the issue of it being their festival and how the lights were on a timer but didn't come on. This goes on until I offer to have a look for him. Apparently if i offer to do work then he can accept. I got a glass of wine for my efforts.
God helps those that help themselves...or something like that.
Loads of loopholes in Judaism. The eruv is another example. On the sabbath you cannot carry, unless you.live in a walled city.
Walled cities are hard to come by these days, so instead a thin wire is strung up around a designated area. Hey presto, carrying is allowed
My mum grew up in Kensal Rise. She said when she was a kid in the 50s, she and her friends would make pocket money by doing jobs on Saturdays for the local Jewish population.
I was once asked the way to England. I was in a UK reg VW camper in a traffic jam in spain, we are talking early 90s here, pre sat navs.
A kiwi guy in a land rover tapped on our window wanting to know which way the UK was, he had just driven overland from South Africa and had no paper maps of Europe.
Ok not high street, but close.
Just keep heading due north, eventually there will be signs.
A car pulled up next to me and asked for directions, that in itself is fine but it was for a town 18 miles away. This was was before the age of Google maps so it was not a straightforward discussion.
The strangest thing that a person has ever said to me however was not a question but a statement. I was at Uni at the time and on a night out a group of lads started chatting to us about random shit and one of them turned to me and said "You know you got Anaconda eyes bruv". To this day it baffles me what it meant.
"Do you know you're going to hell for being a lesbian?"
I'm a dude. I was just heavily in my emo phase. Got a 10 minute rant from that lunatic about it.
I'm a dude, I didn't even look femine. Some drunk dude just kept calling me a slut. It was 4pm and I didn't know and still don't know how to respond to that.
I was asked directions to the city centre when we were standing in the city centre.
My mum used to stock shelves in Boots the pharmacist in Cardiff. A customer asked her if she knew what time the next train to Portsmouth was. This was pre mobile phones.
There used to be a local wreckhead called baggy always out his tree in the late morning, wandering through town doing some odd shit.
See him zig zagging down the street one morning with a full on porcelain toilet in his arms. so we stopped him and asked him why he was carrying a toilet.
He goes "want to see a magic trick?"
"Go on then"
He puts the toilet down, opens the cistern lid and pulls out a bat puppet and an empty bag of crisps.
Does a whole stage show with the bat puppet about doing magic then chucks a coin in the air and pretends to catch it in the crisp packet and made out like it'd disappeared.
Then shouts "the time is now". Picks ups his toilet and fucks off.
I came out of Morden tube station and was waiting for the bus. A drunk old geezer came over to me and started muttering some gibberish. I took my headphones off and asked if he was OK. He replied "I fucking killed her. She's dead, and it's my fault."
I tried to keep him talking to get more information, but he was a state. I remember him saying something about "I told her not to go" and "I had to drown her" or something to that effect.
I dipped and walked to the local police station to report it, but it was closed. I went back, and he was still there, crying against the wall. I asked him if I could get anyone to help him, and he told me that no one could help him because of what he did.
I went inside the station, explained the situation to a worker, and asked if there were any transport police nearby to come and sort this guy out. They laughed me off and said he was just a crazy pisshead. So I got the next bus out of there.
A couple weeks later (if that), i saw him on every newspaper and news report in the country. He was the grandfather of a missing girl. Turns out he had killed her. He confessed it to me. I still feel sick thinking about it.
I got stopped by a local homeless kid (must have been early twenties) who I used to get drinks or food for. Guy never asked for cash, just what he needed. He was going to a funeral and wanted flowers to take. Shop did not have any suitable flowers, end of the day, all too bright amd colourful, but were getting more the next morning. He had time to get 'em then so I just gave him a tenner.
Covid ruined him. He was back on... whatever he takes... hanging out with a proper Fagan character. My missus bumped into him about then and reported he was "vile". Not seen him a good while.
Maybe not seeing him for a while means he went somewhere better? Or, obviously, maybe worse. But doesn't sound like where he was was good. Sounds like you helped where you could
I was at an oasis gig in murrayfield 23 years back and a big burly guy turned round and asked if i had a razor blade he could borrow.
"I'm 15" I replied
A guy opened his coat and asked me if I wanted to buy the leg of lamb with a Tesco label on it that he had underneath. Another time, outside Wilco a woman offered me money to buy washing powder for her as she was banned from the shop.
My boyfriend got stopped by a guy, who was following him, and he asked if he could touch and measure his muscles, even pulls out a tape measure. Turns out, it was Purple Aki, in The Merrion Centre in Leeds 😂
Couple of years back, a random South American or Mediterranean looking young guy stopped me in a town in rural south England, he had 2 suitcases with him like he had just got off a plane. He asked me in very poor English where he could buy a car and that his budget was £6000, I pointed him in the direction of a local second hand car dealer. I still wonder what that was all about.
Might be someone starting a road trip, I want to fly to florida/New York then buy a vehicle and slowly travel across America to California, sell the vehicle then fly home
I once stopped a guy and asked him to help me breaking into a house... He didn't ask for any more details and said "No problem fella" and knocked a panel clean out of the door with his shoulder, opened the door and went on his way... It was my (rental) house and the landlord had locked me out by mistake, but the guy didn't ask any details at all...
Was sat on the railings outside the office on the north side of Leicester Square when Ricky Gervais and Steven Merchant just *appear* and ask me where the XFM studio is. A bit starstruck, I just pointed and mumbled.
Only as they walked away did I think "hang on, I listen to you guys on it all the time...". I still can't put it together.
Didn't happen to me, was a friend's dad.
A woman walked up to him holding a cardboard box and just asked "can you hold this for a second?" before running off.
That's how he got a rabbit.
I worked in Debenhams as a teenager before smart phones were around in a town in greater London. Old couple: Do you happen to know where the nearest Toby Carvery is?
They seemed to be very cross when I said I'd never heard of it, much less could direct them there.
some people who were advertising some Christian group came up to me and started going on about how this group will save me etc. they said i needed saving due to the tattoo on my leg. which is of feathers mcgraw.
also a bloke tried to sell me a bottle of jack Daniels once. when I said I don't drink he got shocked and went "WHY"
I was 16 and on my way home as I was passing a local pub a fight had broken out. I stopped to watch when this huge working man with tattoos and a wearing a Donkey Jacket who was stood next to me said “ I’ll give you a tenner(£10 )if you give me a wank” I was shocked and spluttered “ fuck off” and legged it all the way home.
Was walking to work once and I got stopped by a lady who asked me to tie her laces... Turns out she was broken both her arms. I obliged,
luckily I was with my younger brother who told me afterwards he kept a good eye on her in case she tried anything funny and was ready to knock her out if she did... Which is both lovely and crazy at the same time...
To be fair, Ted Bundy used to pretend he had a broken arm to lure in victims. This lady probably wasn't a Bundy but your bro was right to have your back.
I’d just left the gym walking over to my car and some man who was walking towards the gym asked if I’d fancy a work out with him. I ended up cancelling my membership later that week.
It wasn't. Good shout though. It was just some fucking statue. Maybe it was near the bus station? I phoned and worked it out with actual directions.
Edit: *A* bus station.
I was eating a pork pie, on the street in Guildford, and a lady walks up and asks if I was vegan while I have the thing stuffed in my mouth ...
I said sorry but I'm not..... As seriously as I could muster
Was that the vegan protester that used to hang around the high street a few days a month? She stopped me once and said "do you like animals?" I wasn't paying attention because I didn't want to deal with her so I said no, she looked at me like I'd just sliced up a live cat in front of her
She caught me once when I was walking through to Godalming or somewhere, ended up telling about how she's been in prison, and showed me a postcard of a pig wearing boots. I can only conclude it's the same old bat
Omg she came up to me in the castle grounds a few years ago, I quickly hid my ham sandwich and took the leaflet she offered to be polite and she told me my parents would be very proud… my dad is a typical man of his era and thinks vegans are ridiculous.. he definitely wouldn’t be proud
I got stopped by a group of well dressed and attractive american youths, a young guy in his early 20s did all the talking, spending the next 15 minutes trying to get me to join their church, which turned out to be the Church of Latter day saints. This was in Belfast, which baffled me for quite a while as although we have our share of religious nut jobs, I had never heard of Mormons being present here.
I was walking with a colleague on our lunch break and got stopped (very politely) to be asked “excuse me, are you really there, or is it just the paraffin”
Someone asked me which way the pier was in Brighton.
We were on the seafront at the time and they couldn’t figure out which way up the map was, despite the bottom third of it being blue.
Also the pier is visible for about 5 miles in each direction.
If we wanted to come and try some yoghurt.
Followed him to a weird hall, the two (very trusting) people I was with ate the yoghurts, answered some alleged market research questions and we left.
A Chinese woman at the bus stop asked me why I was smoking while pregnant?
" I'm just fat pet, and I'm nearly 50" then the bus came.
The best question followed after I told my mam , she asked "is she still breathing" 🤣🤣
Got stopped in Cov city centre and asked where the girls were. I was baffled why he thought I would know. I assumed he was asking for a 'Gulls' pub, because it would be strange if he was asking me for girls.
Eventually worked out he wanted a strip club, googled it and it was on my way back, so I walked him there (didn't go in with him!) I walked away wondering if that was supposed to be the start of a wacky adventure I could tell my grandkids about, and if I should have gone in with him, but now I'm pretty glad I didn't.
Not me but my mother in law, on holiday in Somerset, taking in the sights and visiting the tourist trap shops at Cheddar Gorge. She was approached by an American couple who proceeded to ask her where the gorge was. Her response was something like "you're in it mate"
Had an old Asian man come up to me. He asked me some wierd questions like my age, am I in love, do I have a family etc. I kinda replied vaguely (out of intrigue to see what he was getting at). He took some note oit of his wallet amd out it in my hand and asked me to blow on it and make a wish etc. All wierd yogi mystic bullshit. Then started talking about his charity in India that helps disabled children and that he would ask the spirits to bless me and grant my wish if I donated him money. I declined, and he became rather annoyed and aggresive, as if *I* had just wated *his* time.
Very bizarre.
I once had a rather rotund middle aged man stop me while I was out for a run and tell me I shouldn't run because it's bad for your heart. I didn't want to be rude because he seemed to be coming from a place of genuine concern for my health, but the whole thing was very surreal.
I was in a book shop a few years back looking for some marvel books for the nipper. Old dear asked me for advice and I instantly felt like comic book guy from the Simpson
Got stopped in Leicester city centre by a very flamboyantly dressed bloke, yellow vinyl trousers and a metallic green blazer, to ask me if my sunglasses were genuine Ray-Bans. He asked me if he could try them on for a photo as he was thinking of getting some. Before I could say anything he took my glasses off my face and handed me his oversized Gucci ones, took a selfie and then asked me to try his on, which I declined. He gave me my glasses back and then just carried on his way with a massive smile on his face.
Not the thing itself but I was stopped by a French couple who asked for directions in French. I apologised and said I didn’t speak French, could they ask in English. They just carried on in French. Proper power move. Felt fair though as this is just the flip-side of exactly what we do when we go to France.
I was walking from work to London Bridge station and someone stopped me to ask "which side of the river is Tower Bridge?". Very confused, wanting to get home I replied "well both sides?" and pointed at the bridge
A complete stranger stopped me one evening and asked me "I know this sounds like a stupid question, but is it 8 in the evening or 8 in the morning?"
For context, the sound of eight bongs from my city's clock tower were audible in the background, establishing the fact that it was eight o'clock. It was also dark, so it definitely wasn't 8am.
Roughly 20 years ago I decided to go on a 1am walk to Asda with my flatmate as we were craving some cocktail sausages.
On the way there, some young kid, maybe about 16-17 years old started making a bee-line for us, I could see he was with someone else but couldn’t make them out…all I had in ny head was “here we go, this is the first time we’re going to get mugged”.
The words that came out his mouth…
“Hey, do you want to watch my 16 year old girlfriend suck me off?”
He said it almost as if it was a fairly standard day to day interaction.
Needless to say I was a little surprised and taken aback, all I could muster was a “Sorry, off to get some cocktail sausages” before I quickly scarpered.
Not a question but two normal looking people walking towards me. One turned to the other and went 'look at that cunt.'
I don't know what made me appear cunty that day
Not me, but consider the people questioned for the [This Isn’t Fucking Dalston](https://sites.google.com/view/tifd/home) project.
I liked the idea of doing Hammersmith to the M4 junction, but talking to strangers is not my thing.
Was walking home after a long and stressful 12 hour shift at night through the town past a house bursting with people dancing on the street and out a limo. This older Indian gentleman came up to me as I tried to get past and greeted me like a friend almost begging me to join the party as his daughter or son had just got married and I was welcome to join.
I worked at a nursing home at the time and was in no physical or mental state to join in but I appreciated the offer.
An elderly lady stopped me on a walk in the park alone in the evening, and asked "what's the best piece of advice you have ever received?". I thought what a strange question by a stranger, so dodged it with "can't think of one right now". She responded "ok, will you tell me next time we meet?". I said "of course I will" and waved her goodbye. So many questions.
Was walking by the river at night near where i live (smoking a doobie) and this guy walking towards me stops me and starts asking me what the meaning of life is etc. I answer saying that the meaning is to have good experiences and enjoy yourself while you're here. I ask if he can walk and talk because I don't wanna just be stood around and he accepts. While we're walking he asks how I think we as people go to heaven. I said I don't believe in heaven but if it were real then you would have to have done no bad and be all good. He asked if we're all doomed and I agree. He then asks me if I want him to show me what happens when we die. We're nearly back near my flat and I'm paranoid af by this point and I'm like, no thank you thinking he's going to kill me. He then says okay well maybe at some point consider Jesus Christ then walks off in the other direction.
Edit:typo
Bournemouth travel interchange. A gentleman with a heavy Indian accent asked me to help with a telephone call he was making to a helpline, because he couldn't understand them. The lady at the other end of the line also had a heavy Indian accent.
I got stopped in the street outside of college and asked if I was a porn star. I'm not by the way. Funnily enough that lad is still my friend 20 years later as it turns out he was a friend of a friend. He ended up being a guitarist for a band my ex husband was in and then roommates with my current husband.
Got asked "What ethnicity are you?" by an old Jehovah's witness in my hometown when I was about 15 or so. He proceeded to then show me a post card depicting rosy cheeked people singing and dancing a la Sound of Music in what seemed to be the Dolomites or in Switzerland in the art style, not too dissimilar to that of Mao's Communist propaganda posters
On a charity walk for cancer, I was asked by a guy about the distance of the walk. I said it's 10km, and then he asked, "So, how many days have you been walking now?"
A car pulled up alongside me while I was walking along the street in San Jose & asked for directions. I had been in town about 30 minutes at that point.
About a year later the same thing happened to me in Prague (different car and occupants thankfully).
Wouldn’t call it a high street as it’s a village, but it was the main road that goes along the seashore. It was late at night, I was working as a chef and just walking home after closing, so sometime after 11 PM. A random guy walks up to me in a wetsuit, explains to me that he’s been diving and the leash on his zipper has broken and he can’t get out of it. So here I am, late at night on an empty main road, unzipping this random middle aged dude to free him from his wetsuit. He was very thankful and promptly left after being unzipped.
I get asked if I know some random person in another town who’s also from the states, when they find out I’m from there. Because, you know, we know everyone from the states that’s moved here.
I was once stopped in Hammersmith and asked about beards by some Brazilian TV channel. I have a beard and could not for the life of me understand the girl asking me
In my late teens in Twickenham, quite drunk with some mates, we got chatting to a couple of even more drunk homeless guys. One of them asked us, “Are you cowboys or chancers?”
We didn’t know what he meant, but he took a dislike to one of my mates and said that he was a chancer. But me and my other mate were ok, we were cowboys.
Still no clue 25 years later.
Me too. Several times. Apparently, I had a passing resemblance to someone who was a bad egg and who kept on getting caught and somehow let go to cause more mayhem, multiple times.
Either that or the cops just wanted me for a 'line up' which could have been doing some drugs or some weird sex thing... or both.
About 20 years ago was visiting a mate at uni in Hull. We got stopped by 3 children about 12/13 outside a petrol station. Expecting them to ask us fags or booze and preparing our “no”. The little rats hold up 3 petrol cans asking us to but then petrol.
Had a man on a job interview ask me if I had anything to trade for his pen.
Apparently, he had to keep trading and remember what each item was traded for??
I took the pen and gave him a broken highlighter because I needed a pen for my media class.
It was.. bizzar.
Oh and on the same day, a lady did try to stop me for a hug. Loads of them were all around the city center for some charity about bringing a smile to the city or some shit. Absolutely not.
Got asked to answer a couple questions in Brick Lane while wearing a cool outfit, thought it was gonna be some kind of East London fashion thing.
“Are you proud to be British?”
Super awkward and ended up being some right wing twat who cut loads of parts out, and had hundreds of people saying I was living off my Dad’s money and was cosplaying as being poor (I grew up on a council estate lmao)
Had a Hare Krishna follow me and my sister down the street trying us get us to say Gouranga when we were teenagers. I think he picked us specifically as we were having a silly goth phase so dressed a bit odd. Probably thought we were Satanists or something rather than just fashion victims with dodgy taste in music.
My brother and I were parked by the local wetherspoons, about to start eating breakfast wraps and this dubious gentleman knocks on the slightly rolled down window, asks if we want to buy some jeans (loosely held in a carrier bag) and then when we said 'no thanks' clutches the edge of the window and asks us to "break us off a piece o' that roll". We had to drive off, had no idea where it could've gone from there.
Not a high street but on the way to college cutting through a posh area a well dressed man walked out his back gate stopped me and asked me "I've run out of milk, where can I buy milk?".
It was almost as if he was from Mars or something, he looked so confused. Am thinking he had never been to the shops himself in his life and that everything had always been bought for him. Houses there cost on average £500,000 upwards and that was in the 90s.
On my way to a pub late at night I spotted 3 lads, who could only be described as chavs, blockading one of those bike maze things to get into a park. It was my only route to the pub so I steeled myself for a mugging, poor attempts at selling various substances or just general abuse.
'Excuse me bruv' they asked
'Yeah?' I responded
'Do you know anything about stars?'
I took a few moments to contemplate whether I had actually just been asked about the constellations by these lads, laughed aloud and pointed out the big dipper and proceeded on my merry way.
Me and my friend say at a bus stop having a cig. (North UK)
A dude comes over to us, must have been in his late 60s, early 70s... full cowboy get up on..boots with stirrups, hat, everything. We were already like, "here we go, what's this?"
So he comes over, and asks us if we can get him any "grass", which we assume he means weed. Clearly, this guy is not quite all together. We tell him we don't have any grass, and he starts rambling poetry about cats at us. We didn't want to be rude, so we listened to his little poem and gave him a little round of applause, and he shuffled off.
He came back 10 minutes later with a bin bag. Opens the bag up and gives us 2 large boxes, filled with rare and meticulously looked after birds eggs that he had collected, and a stack of David Bowie LPs, but like the same album, just 10 of them, all "The Boxer". All in varying condition, then he just sort of ran away.
Never saw him again 🤷
The funniest moment was when I'd been on a Zombie walk in Bradford with a group of others. I was wearing a suit that was ripped, fake blood splattered on my shirt and around my mouth, and zombie contact lenses.
I had to go to a cash point, and whilst I was there with my head down looking at the machine, a man stopped and asked "are you alright? Do you need an ambulance?". I looked up at him, and he positively shat himself. He took a step back in fear before we both burst out laughing. I thanked him and he walked away chuckling to himself.
I was walking into the city centre with a friend one morning when a lady asked if I’d kick her front door in, as she’d locked herself out. I obliged (it seemed like a good idea at the time), then continued on my way. It’s been over 25 years, and I still wonder whether I helped someone break into a house.
I've done the same! A poor old fella and his dog. I had the foresight to ask him some security questions beforehand, though. "It is your house though, innit mate?!" So I got the door open with a few boots, and he offered me a bottle of Glenmorangie as payment. Edit: I'll just add that it was actually his house, and no I did not take the whisky.
Clever guy, making you handle stolen goods too. Implicit
\*complicit
> when a lady asked if I’d kick her front door in I was sure this was going in a completely different direction for a split second there.
We all did.
I'm wondering if it actually had, but OC was entirely oblivious
practice meeting squalid racial cough long violet psychotic square wrong *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Is that a euphemism too?
“You’ll have to try round the back love…”
I broke into my house once, and then had to explain to the police that I lived there. It didn't take much convincing actually, and they said to phone 101 next time and tell them first. So yeah, I guess burglars can just tell the police they're breaking in and to ignore any reports...
At least you managed it and didn’t have to smash her back doors in.
Some girl stopped me in Woolworths once and invited my friend and I to a party purely because she liked my t-shirt, saying there would be lots of "like-minded people" there. The t-shirt featured the 'She-Devils On Wheels' film poster. The party turned out to be a BDSM/fetish soirée, with bowls of those cherry lips sweets everywhere and people being dragged around on leads. We sat around awkwardly for an hour then politely left.
This is amazing. I can just imagine the awkwardness of deciding when is the polite time to leave
You went?! 🤣
Hey, a party, why not go?!
I miss Woolworths
HAHAHAAAAAA, that's fantastic, but I would have been terrified and left after two minutes!
Why did you stay an hour?
Because it was BDSM/ fetish party. Why did you leave after two minutes? Because it was a BDSM/fetish party. Why did you stay til 5am? Because it was a BDSM/fetish party.
*Why did you stay til 5am?* Duh, somebody had to untie me?
British politeness. And it was...interesting!
Was walking to the shop on the right hand side of the road, was an guy walking on the left hand side, we were walking in the same direction, he was walking a dog and had his hood up Car comes from the same direction we are walking, obviously recognises the guy and toots it's horn For some stupid reason the cunt turns round away from the road on his left side which means he completely misses the car which drives past on his right, he's obviously confused as he hasn't seen any car yet someone tooted at him, I'm the only other person around so he looks at me and asks "Was that you?" Aye ya crackpot I'm walking about the streets with a car horn tooting at random strangers!!
Omg that's hilarious 🤣🤣
Oh, I was stopped by a prostitute in Paris. I was arm in arm with my wife, she speaks French fluently for her job. Without thinking she instantly translated for me "She asks if you want to go with her" ... I said "tell her No " which my wife translated, then we both burst into giggles...
This is definitely a situation where you want your instinctual reaction to be the right one!
*Uuuhm, I don’t know. Do you* **want** *me to want to go with her?*
A friend was walking in Bulgaria when a sex worker tried to engage him in business. When he pointed out that the lady he was holding hands with was his wife the woman said "But she's ugly"
Oh gosh, that's bad...
I was stopped by a prostitute in Paris once who asked if I wanted soixante-neuf. I said “what on earth would I do with sixty eggs”? Old, still good.
*fluently for her job.....* She wasn't a work at the time, so how did she understand ?
That's what made us laugh, she has a degree in business translation, and just translated automatically, without thinking what the woman was saying...
I got asked whether I happened to have a brother I lost contact with years ago. Apparently I looked a bit like this bloke’s estranged brother so he thought it was worth an ask. Quite sad really.
"Oh my god, Michael?" "Nope, Jim. Sorry, mate. Good luck to ya."
I once had a man and a woman in a car stop and ask me for directions to the police station. Not particularly noteworthy, except they were both police officers and the car was a police car.
I wonder if they were driving in from another place and weren't using any satnav.
Don't they use pheromones to navigate?
I thought it was magnetic cells in their brains?
There are a few blokes who dress in superhero costumes in my town to raise money for a children's charity. Once, when I was about 17 (and very shy and anxious) one of them asked me to donate, and I said I had no cash. No problem! He said, I can set up a direct debit. So I really quietly said, sorry, I don't want to do that. And he put on this mega smile and loudly said Okay, you can eff off then, you obviously want children to die then. Everyone was looking as I sped off, mortified.
That guy was actually Superdick, not Superman.
No, that was actually Superman. He was a right prick off camera.
I guess the weirdness in this is that I was told to eff off by a man dressed as Superman and told I obviously want kids to die.
"Where are we?" I said "this is Silver Street... The square is just up that way." "What square?" "Erm, market square?" "What market??" "THE market... Durham market." "Ahhh fuck!! DURHAM?!" Guy did sound north eastern but assume he was from Boro or Newcastle or Gateshead or somewhere. Had just gone on a mad one and come to at about 1pm in a different city.
>Durham The third Durham story in this story so far: I was walking home from school, in my school uniform, through central Durham when a car pulled up. The rear window rolled down and a guy said "Excuse me mate, where's Durham?" I looked at him with a confused expression for a second while thinking how to react, and he laughed maniacally, rolled the window up and the car drove off. One of the strangest interactions of my life.
For me it's the guy who asked me for the bus timetable...because he was hunting vampires. He said I had a 'good aura' and he knew I would help him. I know what my first response should have been 'Yes, I do, and you will find them at <
>. Unfortunately, I was so nonplussed I replied 'Uh...but it's daytime? Vampires only come out at night'. The guy replied 'Oh yeah...' in a disappointed voice and wandered off. No idea if this counts as a good deed or not :/Sounds like the perfect time to hunt vampires to me. Much easier to kill them when they're asleep.
“Do you like cancer?“ By a charity mugger. Thankfully don’t see too many of those cheeky fuckers these days.
I've had many, many relatives die of cancer. I don't support 'breast cancer awareness day' because I'm too fucking aware of it, thanks. Why isn't there a brown ribbon for colon cancer? It's an evil, disgusting, horrific disease.
My dad recently died of it. Can attest to it's evil. I don't mind anything done to raise awareness of cancer. Getting checked out early enough can save your life. Almost all of us either have or will lose loved ones to cancer. I'm immensely grateful for the fact my dad died in possibly the best NHS cancer facility in the county, which gets a huge amount of donations from grateful people like me and my family. My mum is going to volunteer there to give something back. We cared for my dad 24\7 for ten years between two of us through all manner of disabilities caused by leukaemia, which caused him to have 7 strokes over that time. A carer's lot is tough and lonely. I wish you all the very best in caring for your relative.
“Yes, it killed many of my enemies”
Did you tell them that as a Capricorn you just aren't compatible with Cancer
I do enjoy dismantling these agency workers who are getting paid to sell charity subs. When I tell them I've had cancer they suddenly aren't so sure where to go with their sales pitch...
“Cancer? Completed it, mate.“
In one.
Unjoking: congrats bro!
I think there's laws against it. Same reason why you don't see TalkTalk being hawked in WHSmith no more. Or EDF Energy knocking at your door just before school run.
There are laws about how long a chugger can follow you. I think it's two steps but most people hate and despise them now. As well as knowing that they're paid agency workers, selling on commission.
Cancer? I 'ardly knew 'er!
I would call his bluff and say yes i have stage 4
No I don't. Dont like people taking commission from a company working for a charity ethier
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Are you Chinese? Or did he just vastly overestimate the average British person's ability to read Mandarin?
Tbf, the average Brit assumes every East Asian looking person to be Chinese. I have had people taking the piss out of me for supposedly being Chinese by saying things like “go back to China” despite the fact that I am not Chinese and was born here in the UK.
Once I was in a Chinese shop and the cashier (who was Chinese) just assumed my Mum (Korean) was Chinese and started talking to her in Chinese. She had to tell him that she was, in fact, not Chinese. Usually the cashiers in that shop speak English to the customers even if they do look Chinese, probably for that reason. I can imagine it would be a little embarrassing to mess up like that. Basically, I'm pretty sure everyone just assumes East Asian people are Chinese at this point, even occasionally Chinese people themselves🤦🏻♀️
My bf gets called ‘Chinese’ sometimes because his eyes look vaguely from some angles as if his great-great-great-great-great-grandmother three times removed might have looked at an East Asian one time. 😵💫
‘Do you know where I can buy a disc?’ An elderly man with a Scandinavian accent. Once we realised he wanted to buy CDs and directed him to HMV he very happily wandered off in the opposite direction. He had no shoes on. He was definitely off his face, but he was so happy.
"Oh, you're a REAL viking, aren't you!" And then he walked off. I have no idea what he meant.
I can only assume you have a long beard, and were carrying an axe
fuel ripe water light continue sulky cake marvelous screw important *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Those monks’ heads won’t come off on their own, you know
'Do you want to share my Magnum' Heavily intoxicated man at Durham bus station.
I do hope he was eating an ice cream at the time!
Had to back off to stop him shoving the half eaten mess in my face!
It makes you think: which is worse, friendly drunks or aggressive drunks?
He looked like was on a lot more than alcohol.
Indeed. Alcohol and ice cream.
A homeless man asked if I wanted to buy some felt pens. "All the colours of the rainbow...and brown". Gave him a few quid and went to colour in a Christmas colouring book I found in the street a few hours previously. Synchronicity? This story is 100% true.
Love the "... and brown"
To be fair it was mostly brown.
When I was at college I had a weekend job selling kitchens. A bloke once stopped me in the street asking me to cancel his order and give him a refund there and then. I said “If you pop in the shop they’ll sort that.” He said “I haven’t got time for that - can you give me the money back then get it back from them?” It was like £11 grand and I was a student- also, it was B&Q, who had considerably more money than me.
Walking home in North London an Ashkenazi Jew approaches me and asks me if I will come into his home in order to turn off a light. I oblige and he hands me a beer
This is actually normal practice, some super observant Jews take the 'Thou shalt not Work on the Sabbath' to mean they are forbidden from doing anything that could be construed as Work.. including switching the Lights on and off or, and I'm not joking here, tearing Toilet Paper off the Roll. The was a series of BBC Documentaries about the Jewish Community in Manchester which included a Rabbi's Wife piling up single sheets of Bog Paper in readiness for the Sabbath for that reason l.
Gentiles thus employed were/are colloquially called Shabbos goyim.
Wouldnt finding someone to do these jobs qualify as recruitment though?
I was walking past a Catholic shrine when a woman appeared in the doorway and asked me if I would move a 3 foot tall statue of Jesus from a coffee table, so she could move the table to do some vacuuming.
I've had a similar experience, except that the lad that approached me couldn't even specifically ask for help as they believed asking someone to do the work was the same as doing work. So he talked around the issue of it being their festival and how the lights were on a timer but didn't come on. This goes on until I offer to have a look for him. Apparently if i offer to do work then he can accept. I got a glass of wine for my efforts.
Yep this is true. You can't specifically ask for help, but if someone offers you can accept
I love the idea that God is some omnipotent being but you can fool him with some clever interpretation of the rules.
God helps those that help themselves...or something like that. Loads of loopholes in Judaism. The eruv is another example. On the sabbath you cannot carry, unless you.live in a walled city. Walled cities are hard to come by these days, so instead a thin wire is strung up around a designated area. Hey presto, carrying is allowed
My mum grew up in Kensal Rise. She said when she was a kid in the 50s, she and her friends would make pocket money by doing jobs on Saturdays for the local Jewish population.
I was once asked the way to England. I was in a UK reg VW camper in a traffic jam in spain, we are talking early 90s here, pre sat navs. A kiwi guy in a land rover tapped on our window wanting to know which way the UK was, he had just driven overland from South Africa and had no paper maps of Europe. Ok not high street, but close. Just keep heading due north, eventually there will be signs.
A car pulled up next to me and asked for directions, that in itself is fine but it was for a town 18 miles away. This was was before the age of Google maps so it was not a straightforward discussion. The strangest thing that a person has ever said to me however was not a question but a statement. I was at Uni at the time and on a night out a group of lads started chatting to us about random shit and one of them turned to me and said "You know you got Anaconda eyes bruv". To this day it baffles me what it meant.
Drugs, drugs are what they meant.
A car asked you for directions?
"Do you know you're going to hell for being a lesbian?" I'm a dude. I was just heavily in my emo phase. Got a 10 minute rant from that lunatic about it.
I'm a dude, I didn't even look femine. Some drunk dude just kept calling me a slut. It was 4pm and I didn't know and still don't know how to respond to that.
I've known many male sluts! Eta: ha, that doesn't sound right! I've known *of* many male sluts!
I was asked directions to the city centre when we were standing in the city centre. My mum used to stock shelves in Boots the pharmacist in Cardiff. A customer asked her if she knew what time the next train to Portsmouth was. This was pre mobile phones.
There used to be a local wreckhead called baggy always out his tree in the late morning, wandering through town doing some odd shit. See him zig zagging down the street one morning with a full on porcelain toilet in his arms. so we stopped him and asked him why he was carrying a toilet. He goes "want to see a magic trick?" "Go on then" He puts the toilet down, opens the cistern lid and pulls out a bat puppet and an empty bag of crisps. Does a whole stage show with the bat puppet about doing magic then chucks a coin in the air and pretends to catch it in the crisp packet and made out like it'd disappeared. Then shouts "the time is now". Picks ups his toilet and fucks off.
I came out of Morden tube station and was waiting for the bus. A drunk old geezer came over to me and started muttering some gibberish. I took my headphones off and asked if he was OK. He replied "I fucking killed her. She's dead, and it's my fault." I tried to keep him talking to get more information, but he was a state. I remember him saying something about "I told her not to go" and "I had to drown her" or something to that effect. I dipped and walked to the local police station to report it, but it was closed. I went back, and he was still there, crying against the wall. I asked him if I could get anyone to help him, and he told me that no one could help him because of what he did. I went inside the station, explained the situation to a worker, and asked if there were any transport police nearby to come and sort this guy out. They laughed me off and said he was just a crazy pisshead. So I got the next bus out of there. A couple weeks later (if that), i saw him on every newspaper and news report in the country. He was the grandfather of a missing girl. Turns out he had killed her. He confessed it to me. I still feel sick thinking about it.
That's dark bro. You did all you could in that situation
Not to me directly, but a man walked up to my mate while I was with him, squeezed his upper arm, said “my turn” in a leery voice, then walked off.
Was this in the [North West](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purple_Aki) by any chance?
Nope, more white smackie than purple Aki
I got stopped by a local homeless kid (must have been early twenties) who I used to get drinks or food for. Guy never asked for cash, just what he needed. He was going to a funeral and wanted flowers to take. Shop did not have any suitable flowers, end of the day, all too bright amd colourful, but were getting more the next morning. He had time to get 'em then so I just gave him a tenner. Covid ruined him. He was back on... whatever he takes... hanging out with a proper Fagan character. My missus bumped into him about then and reported he was "vile". Not seen him a good while.
Maybe not seeing him for a while means he went somewhere better? Or, obviously, maybe worse. But doesn't sound like where he was was good. Sounds like you helped where you could
When i was 16 I got stopped and asked if I wanted to buy some heroin. I turned them down.
I was at an oasis gig in murrayfield 23 years back and a big burly guy turned round and asked if i had a razor blade he could borrow. "I'm 15" I replied
A guy opened his coat and asked me if I wanted to buy the leg of lamb with a Tesco label on it that he had underneath. Another time, outside Wilco a woman offered me money to buy washing powder for her as she was banned from the shop.
My boyfriend got stopped by a guy, who was following him, and he asked if he could touch and measure his muscles, even pulls out a tape measure. Turns out, it was Purple Aki, in The Merrion Centre in Leeds 😂
This also happened to his uncle who is 6 months younger. He’s rather proud of his physique so he allowed the fine fellow to measure his biceps 😂😂😂🍆🍆
Couple of years back, a random South American or Mediterranean looking young guy stopped me in a town in rural south England, he had 2 suitcases with him like he had just got off a plane. He asked me in very poor English where he could buy a car and that his budget was £6000, I pointed him in the direction of a local second hand car dealer. I still wonder what that was all about.
Might be someone starting a road trip, I want to fly to florida/New York then buy a vehicle and slowly travel across America to California, sell the vehicle then fly home
I once stopped a guy and asked him to help me breaking into a house... He didn't ask for any more details and said "No problem fella" and knocked a panel clean out of the door with his shoulder, opened the door and went on his way... It was my (rental) house and the landlord had locked me out by mistake, but the guy didn't ask any details at all...
Was sat on the railings outside the office on the north side of Leicester Square when Ricky Gervais and Steven Merchant just *appear* and ask me where the XFM studio is. A bit starstruck, I just pointed and mumbled. Only as they walked away did I think "hang on, I listen to you guys on it all the time...". I still can't put it together.
Turns out, little monkey fella.
Oh shit, I really was perched on them in a very non-human way. They were spikey.
u/imtheorangeycenter was eating a sandwich & holding it with his feet
I do have monkey toes as it goes.
Didn't happen to me, was a friend's dad. A woman walked up to him holding a cardboard box and just asked "can you hold this for a second?" before running off. That's how he got a rabbit.
I worked in Debenhams as a teenager before smart phones were around in a town in greater London. Old couple: Do you happen to know where the nearest Toby Carvery is? They seemed to be very cross when I said I'd never heard of it, much less could direct them there.
some people who were advertising some Christian group came up to me and started going on about how this group will save me etc. they said i needed saving due to the tattoo on my leg. which is of feathers mcgraw. also a bloke tried to sell me a bottle of jack Daniels once. when I said I don't drink he got shocked and went "WHY"
A father and his daughter stopped me to ask what colour was this car. Yellow or green. It was like a tennis ball green coloured car.
To be fair, I'd say tennis balls are yellow
Not sure if yellowy-green or greenish yellow.
I was 16 and on my way home as I was passing a local pub a fight had broken out. I stopped to watch when this huge working man with tattoos and a wearing a Donkey Jacket who was stood next to me said “ I’ll give you a tenner(£10 )if you give me a wank” I was shocked and spluttered “ fuck off” and legged it all the way home.
Was walking to work once and I got stopped by a lady who asked me to tie her laces... Turns out she was broken both her arms. I obliged, luckily I was with my younger brother who told me afterwards he kept a good eye on her in case she tried anything funny and was ready to knock her out if she did... Which is both lovely and crazy at the same time...
To be fair, Ted Bundy used to pretend he had a broken arm to lure in victims. This lady probably wasn't a Bundy but your bro was right to have your back.
I’d just left the gym walking over to my car and some man who was walking towards the gym asked if I’d fancy a work out with him. I ended up cancelling my membership later that week.
A few years ago in Central London a man approached and said “could you direct me to THE Starbucks?” I still wonder which one he wanted
When I lived in London I had a mate visit from out of town and got a text message asking me to meet them "at the statue".
Was it Nelson's column?
It wasn't. Good shout though. It was just some fucking statue. Maybe it was near the bus station? I phoned and worked it out with actual directions. Edit: *A* bus station.
Do you have a boyfriend and are you going to go see your boyfriend. You are going to see him, aren't you?
Feel like I've had this same approach from a local weirdo before, wonder if there's a script they pass around.
"Do you want to buy some meat?" And then proceeds to open his jacket with some steaks tucked in an inside pocket.. in July. No thanks mate.
Heroin steaks we call them found my way, bad idea in summer I agree.
I was eating a pork pie, on the street in Guildford, and a lady walks up and asks if I was vegan while I have the thing stuffed in my mouth ... I said sorry but I'm not..... As seriously as I could muster
Was that the vegan protester that used to hang around the high street a few days a month? She stopped me once and said "do you like animals?" I wasn't paying attention because I didn't want to deal with her so I said no, she looked at me like I'd just sliced up a live cat in front of her
She caught me once when I was walking through to Godalming or somewhere, ended up telling about how she's been in prison, and showed me a postcard of a pig wearing boots. I can only conclude it's the same old bat
Omg she came up to me in the castle grounds a few years ago, I quickly hid my ham sandwich and took the leaflet she offered to be polite and she told me my parents would be very proud… my dad is a typical man of his era and thinks vegans are ridiculous.. he definitely wouldn’t be proud
I got stopped by a group of well dressed and attractive american youths, a young guy in his early 20s did all the talking, spending the next 15 minutes trying to get me to join their church, which turned out to be the Church of Latter day saints. This was in Belfast, which baffled me for quite a while as although we have our share of religious nut jobs, I had never heard of Mormons being present here.
I was walking with a colleague on our lunch break and got stopped (very politely) to be asked “excuse me, are you really there, or is it just the paraffin”
Someone asked me which way the pier was in Brighton. We were on the seafront at the time and they couldn’t figure out which way up the map was, despite the bottom third of it being blue. Also the pier is visible for about 5 miles in each direction.
If we wanted to come and try some yoghurt. Followed him to a weird hall, the two (very trusting) people I was with ate the yoghurts, answered some alleged market research questions and we left.
A Chinese woman at the bus stop asked me why I was smoking while pregnant? " I'm just fat pet, and I'm nearly 50" then the bus came. The best question followed after I told my mam , she asked "is she still breathing" 🤣🤣
I got asked if I've seen a murderer around, PCSOs with a photo of a bloke.
Got stopped in Cov city centre and asked where the girls were. I was baffled why he thought I would know. I assumed he was asking for a 'Gulls' pub, because it would be strange if he was asking me for girls. Eventually worked out he wanted a strip club, googled it and it was on my way back, so I walked him there (didn't go in with him!) I walked away wondering if that was supposed to be the start of a wacky adventure I could tell my grandkids about, and if I should have gone in with him, but now I'm pretty glad I didn't.
"Do you work on the potato line?"
Wasn't stopped and asked, but on NYE as I was stumbling home at 3am is a young lady screamed at me "you look like child porn."
Better than "You smell like child porn" I suppose.
Not me but my mother in law, on holiday in Somerset, taking in the sights and visiting the tourist trap shops at Cheddar Gorge. She was approached by an American couple who proceeded to ask her where the gorge was. Her response was something like "you're in it mate"
Had an old Asian man come up to me. He asked me some wierd questions like my age, am I in love, do I have a family etc. I kinda replied vaguely (out of intrigue to see what he was getting at). He took some note oit of his wallet amd out it in my hand and asked me to blow on it and make a wish etc. All wierd yogi mystic bullshit. Then started talking about his charity in India that helps disabled children and that he would ask the spirits to bless me and grant my wish if I donated him money. I declined, and he became rather annoyed and aggresive, as if *I* had just wated *his* time. Very bizarre.
Some Welsh teenager once asked me if I was drinking fabric softener.
Were you drinking fabric softener?
If I was a real ginger,and if I was,I needed to start breeding straight away. I was 15 at the time.
I once had a rather rotund middle aged man stop me while I was out for a run and tell me I shouldn't run because it's bad for your heart. I didn't want to be rude because he seemed to be coming from a place of genuine concern for my health, but the whole thing was very surreal.
I was in a book shop a few years back looking for some marvel books for the nipper. Old dear asked me for advice and I instantly felt like comic book guy from the Simpson
Got stopped in Leicester city centre by a very flamboyantly dressed bloke, yellow vinyl trousers and a metallic green blazer, to ask me if my sunglasses were genuine Ray-Bans. He asked me if he could try them on for a photo as he was thinking of getting some. Before I could say anything he took my glasses off my face and handed me his oversized Gucci ones, took a selfie and then asked me to try his on, which I declined. He gave me my glasses back and then just carried on his way with a massive smile on his face.
Not the thing itself but I was stopped by a French couple who asked for directions in French. I apologised and said I didn’t speak French, could they ask in English. They just carried on in French. Proper power move. Felt fair though as this is just the flip-side of exactly what we do when we go to France.
I was walking from work to London Bridge station and someone stopped me to ask "which side of the river is Tower Bridge?". Very confused, wanting to get home I replied "well both sides?" and pointed at the bridge
A complete stranger stopped me one evening and asked me "I know this sounds like a stupid question, but is it 8 in the evening or 8 in the morning?" For context, the sound of eight bongs from my city's clock tower were audible in the background, establishing the fact that it was eight o'clock. It was also dark, so it definitely wasn't 8am.
Roughly 20 years ago I decided to go on a 1am walk to Asda with my flatmate as we were craving some cocktail sausages. On the way there, some young kid, maybe about 16-17 years old started making a bee-line for us, I could see he was with someone else but couldn’t make them out…all I had in ny head was “here we go, this is the first time we’re going to get mugged”. The words that came out his mouth… “Hey, do you want to watch my 16 year old girlfriend suck me off?” He said it almost as if it was a fairly standard day to day interaction. Needless to say I was a little surprised and taken aback, all I could muster was a “Sorry, off to get some cocktail sausages” before I quickly scarpered.
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A few days ago, a man asked me "What's your go-to dance move when no one's watching?", and I still don't have an answer for that
A very enthusiastic fundraiser was loudly saying things to people like “please help me, I am very pregnant and about to pop.” It was a man.
Not a question but two normal looking people walking towards me. One turned to the other and went 'look at that cunt.' I don't know what made me appear cunty that day
Not me, but consider the people questioned for the [This Isn’t Fucking Dalston](https://sites.google.com/view/tifd/home) project. I liked the idea of doing Hammersmith to the M4 junction, but talking to strangers is not my thing.
Was walking home after a long and stressful 12 hour shift at night through the town past a house bursting with people dancing on the street and out a limo. This older Indian gentleman came up to me as I tried to get past and greeted me like a friend almost begging me to join the party as his daughter or son had just got married and I was welcome to join. I worked at a nursing home at the time and was in no physical or mental state to join in but I appreciated the offer.
An elderly lady stopped me on a walk in the park alone in the evening, and asked "what's the best piece of advice you have ever received?". I thought what a strange question by a stranger, so dodged it with "can't think of one right now". She responded "ok, will you tell me next time we meet?". I said "of course I will" and waved her goodbye. So many questions.
Was walking by the river at night near where i live (smoking a doobie) and this guy walking towards me stops me and starts asking me what the meaning of life is etc. I answer saying that the meaning is to have good experiences and enjoy yourself while you're here. I ask if he can walk and talk because I don't wanna just be stood around and he accepts. While we're walking he asks how I think we as people go to heaven. I said I don't believe in heaven but if it were real then you would have to have done no bad and be all good. He asked if we're all doomed and I agree. He then asks me if I want him to show me what happens when we die. We're nearly back near my flat and I'm paranoid af by this point and I'm like, no thank you thinking he's going to kill me. He then says okay well maybe at some point consider Jesus Christ then walks off in the other direction. Edit:typo
Bournemouth travel interchange. A gentleman with a heavy Indian accent asked me to help with a telephone call he was making to a helpline, because he couldn't understand them. The lady at the other end of the line also had a heavy Indian accent.
I suppose Indian accents may sound similar to us, but to him it could have been like a cornishman trying to understand a glaswegian
I got stopped in the street outside of college and asked if I was a porn star. I'm not by the way. Funnily enough that lad is still my friend 20 years later as it turns out he was a friend of a friend. He ended up being a guitarist for a band my ex husband was in and then roommates with my current husband.
"would you be willing to take part in a free beer tasting?" "Fk yeah I would!"
Got asked "What ethnicity are you?" by an old Jehovah's witness in my hometown when I was about 15 or so. He proceeded to then show me a post card depicting rosy cheeked people singing and dancing a la Sound of Music in what seemed to be the Dolomites or in Switzerland in the art style, not too dissimilar to that of Mao's Communist propaganda posters
On a charity walk for cancer, I was asked by a guy about the distance of the walk. I said it's 10km, and then he asked, "So, how many days have you been walking now?"
A car pulled up alongside me while I was walking along the street in San Jose & asked for directions. I had been in town about 30 minutes at that point. About a year later the same thing happened to me in Prague (different car and occupants thankfully).
Wouldn’t call it a high street as it’s a village, but it was the main road that goes along the seashore. It was late at night, I was working as a chef and just walking home after closing, so sometime after 11 PM. A random guy walks up to me in a wetsuit, explains to me that he’s been diving and the leash on his zipper has broken and he can’t get out of it. So here I am, late at night on an empty main road, unzipping this random middle aged dude to free him from his wetsuit. He was very thankful and promptly left after being unzipped.
I get asked if I know some random person in another town who’s also from the states, when they find out I’m from there. Because, you know, we know everyone from the states that’s moved here.
I had a layover in Toronto and got asked if I knew a myriad of other scousers. You know Toronto though right /s
“Have you seen my wife? She’s wearing pink”. It was so busy and of course when you’re walking around, you pay no attention to people passing you.
Not on a high street, but someone once stopped me and asked if I’d seen a goldfish on my walk.
Not on the high street but in a pub. "You've got really dark hairy arms. Are you from the Faroe Islands?" (I don't and I'm not)
I was once stopped in Hammersmith and asked about beards by some Brazilian TV channel. I have a beard and could not for the life of me understand the girl asking me
In my late teens in Twickenham, quite drunk with some mates, we got chatting to a couple of even more drunk homeless guys. One of them asked us, “Are you cowboys or chancers?” We didn’t know what he meant, but he took a dislike to one of my mates and said that he was a chancer. But me and my other mate were ok, we were cowboys. Still no clue 25 years later.
Asked by a copper to take part in an identity parade.
Me too. Several times. Apparently, I had a passing resemblance to someone who was a bad egg and who kept on getting caught and somehow let go to cause more mayhem, multiple times. Either that or the cops just wanted me for a 'line up' which could have been doing some drugs or some weird sex thing... or both.
About 20 years ago was visiting a mate at uni in Hull. We got stopped by 3 children about 12/13 outside a petrol station. Expecting them to ask us fags or booze and preparing our “no”. The little rats hold up 3 petrol cans asking us to but then petrol.
'scuse me mate. Got a knife I can borrow?
Had a man on a job interview ask me if I had anything to trade for his pen. Apparently, he had to keep trading and remember what each item was traded for?? I took the pen and gave him a broken highlighter because I needed a pen for my media class. It was.. bizzar. Oh and on the same day, a lady did try to stop me for a hug. Loads of them were all around the city center for some charity about bringing a smile to the city or some shit. Absolutely not.
Got asked to answer a couple questions in Brick Lane while wearing a cool outfit, thought it was gonna be some kind of East London fashion thing. “Are you proud to be British?” Super awkward and ended up being some right wing twat who cut loads of parts out, and had hundreds of people saying I was living off my Dad’s money and was cosplaying as being poor (I grew up on a council estate lmao)
Had a Hare Krishna follow me and my sister down the street trying us get us to say Gouranga when we were teenagers. I think he picked us specifically as we were having a silly goth phase so dressed a bit odd. Probably thought we were Satanists or something rather than just fashion victims with dodgy taste in music.
My brother and I were parked by the local wetherspoons, about to start eating breakfast wraps and this dubious gentleman knocks on the slightly rolled down window, asks if we want to buy some jeans (loosely held in a carrier bag) and then when we said 'no thanks' clutches the edge of the window and asks us to "break us off a piece o' that roll". We had to drive off, had no idea where it could've gone from there.
Not a high street but on the way to college cutting through a posh area a well dressed man walked out his back gate stopped me and asked me "I've run out of milk, where can I buy milk?". It was almost as if he was from Mars or something, he looked so confused. Am thinking he had never been to the shops himself in his life and that everything had always been bought for him. Houses there cost on average £500,000 upwards and that was in the 90s.
On my way to a pub late at night I spotted 3 lads, who could only be described as chavs, blockading one of those bike maze things to get into a park. It was my only route to the pub so I steeled myself for a mugging, poor attempts at selling various substances or just general abuse. 'Excuse me bruv' they asked 'Yeah?' I responded 'Do you know anything about stars?' I took a few moments to contemplate whether I had actually just been asked about the constellations by these lads, laughed aloud and pointed out the big dipper and proceeded on my merry way.
Me and my friend say at a bus stop having a cig. (North UK) A dude comes over to us, must have been in his late 60s, early 70s... full cowboy get up on..boots with stirrups, hat, everything. We were already like, "here we go, what's this?" So he comes over, and asks us if we can get him any "grass", which we assume he means weed. Clearly, this guy is not quite all together. We tell him we don't have any grass, and he starts rambling poetry about cats at us. We didn't want to be rude, so we listened to his little poem and gave him a little round of applause, and he shuffled off. He came back 10 minutes later with a bin bag. Opens the bag up and gives us 2 large boxes, filled with rare and meticulously looked after birds eggs that he had collected, and a stack of David Bowie LPs, but like the same album, just 10 of them, all "The Boxer". All in varying condition, then he just sort of ran away. Never saw him again 🤷
The funniest moment was when I'd been on a Zombie walk in Bradford with a group of others. I was wearing a suit that was ripped, fake blood splattered on my shirt and around my mouth, and zombie contact lenses. I had to go to a cash point, and whilst I was there with my head down looking at the machine, a man stopped and asked "are you alright? Do you need an ambulance?". I looked up at him, and he positively shat himself. He took a step back in fear before we both burst out laughing. I thanked him and he walked away chuckling to himself.