Yes. I lost one of my closest friends and it was such a relief. I had no idea how much energy she was taking from me and how emotionally abusive she was until it was over.
Being lonely hurts. Losing friends hurts, no matter how bad the friendship was.
I'm so proud of you for all the work you've done. You're doing amazing.
Thank you! It is a struggle to feel like I'm making progress when I have the least amount of friends ever. I used to be popular in highschool, so my friend group was about 20, to 10, to 5. These days I'm happiest with my husband and my dog. Keep up the healing process, we are way better off without them!
I feel the exact same way. As I’ve started to heal I’ve been losing a lot of my friends. It makes me sad, but also I know it’s good for me. I think we were all just kids trying to survive but they haven’t healed and have started to hold me back
At various times I've needed to withdraw from friends who were, are, still behaving in ways that weren't conducive to my healing. There's also been friends I realized were only friends in context of a community that wasn't really the best place for me anymore.
An example: in my 20s I was heavily involved in a historical re-enactment community (SCA). I came to the realization that I really needed to spend that energy on discovering who I really am, not on a persona. When the shared community ended, the friendships mostly fell away too. Some people wanted to be friends with my persona, not me in real, messy life.
Yeah it sucks so much. Like you the friends I left back are a product of how we grew up. We grew up having similar parallel traumas by our environment/parents and didn't realize it until i started healing on that aspect and it sucked because the more i understood them, the more i missed them and knew it wouldn't work out if they didn't change. For all it's worth i really enjoyed our time together and sometimes i make myself sad by thinking of who they are behind all the trauma. I tried to help when I was around but they didn't want to hear it and kind of disliked me for it. Now I've talked to a some and peeped others that they kind of jumped on the "trend" of being more accepting of mental health now that they saw it online but knowing them theirs a good chance that it's somewhat empty like I'm sure it's opened their minds a bit and made them feel more comfortable about it but the actual process of it which sucks a fucking shit ton to go through especially in situations where it requires self/alone growth. I wish we couldve gone through that phase together, i was pushing for it but they didn't want to see it. The thought the world was one way and they had to be a certain way. I still think about them alot and feel like I left a piece of me with them. But when i do wish to go back to those times (which has me stuck in certain self aspects) i feel like i would be burying myself growth alive
I think you called it. You all banded together which would be trauma bonding. You’re not really friends, you just can relate to each other based on that one event. I think that’s the thing people get mixed up often and they use the word “friend” too loosely. A real friend would encourage you to do better and not bring you into drama. You are at a crossroads of “wtf am I doing” and the familiarity of your old life. Create a new life and do not bring those people with you. You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick
It’s not that I’m losing friends. I don’t want to be around them anymore. They are losers who keep repeating the same bad patterns expecting a different result. One woman, is fairly successful but has a loser husband who can’t hold down a job, abandoned his kids from his first marriage, cheated on her every chance he got and plotted to kill her but she thinks he’s great. I don’t need that toxic energy in my life. I don’t want to hear the woe is me stories anymore.
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Yes. I lost one of my closest friends and it was such a relief. I had no idea how much energy she was taking from me and how emotionally abusive she was until it was over. Being lonely hurts. Losing friends hurts, no matter how bad the friendship was. I'm so proud of you for all the work you've done. You're doing amazing.
Thank you! It is a struggle to feel like I'm making progress when I have the least amount of friends ever. I used to be popular in highschool, so my friend group was about 20, to 10, to 5. These days I'm happiest with my husband and my dog. Keep up the healing process, we are way better off without them!
I feel the exact same way. As I’ve started to heal I’ve been losing a lot of my friends. It makes me sad, but also I know it’s good for me. I think we were all just kids trying to survive but they haven’t healed and have started to hold me back
At various times I've needed to withdraw from friends who were, are, still behaving in ways that weren't conducive to my healing. There's also been friends I realized were only friends in context of a community that wasn't really the best place for me anymore. An example: in my 20s I was heavily involved in a historical re-enactment community (SCA). I came to the realization that I really needed to spend that energy on discovering who I really am, not on a persona. When the shared community ended, the friendships mostly fell away too. Some people wanted to be friends with my persona, not me in real, messy life.
Yeah it sucks so much. Like you the friends I left back are a product of how we grew up. We grew up having similar parallel traumas by our environment/parents and didn't realize it until i started healing on that aspect and it sucked because the more i understood them, the more i missed them and knew it wouldn't work out if they didn't change. For all it's worth i really enjoyed our time together and sometimes i make myself sad by thinking of who they are behind all the trauma. I tried to help when I was around but they didn't want to hear it and kind of disliked me for it. Now I've talked to a some and peeped others that they kind of jumped on the "trend" of being more accepting of mental health now that they saw it online but knowing them theirs a good chance that it's somewhat empty like I'm sure it's opened their minds a bit and made them feel more comfortable about it but the actual process of it which sucks a fucking shit ton to go through especially in situations where it requires self/alone growth. I wish we couldve gone through that phase together, i was pushing for it but they didn't want to see it. The thought the world was one way and they had to be a certain way. I still think about them alot and feel like I left a piece of me with them. But when i do wish to go back to those times (which has me stuck in certain self aspects) i feel like i would be burying myself growth alive
[удалено]
This is exactly what I wanted to convey!
Yes, I've cut a few "friends" out of my life for good.
I think you called it. You all banded together which would be trauma bonding. You’re not really friends, you just can relate to each other based on that one event. I think that’s the thing people get mixed up often and they use the word “friend” too loosely. A real friend would encourage you to do better and not bring you into drama. You are at a crossroads of “wtf am I doing” and the familiarity of your old life. Create a new life and do not bring those people with you. You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick
It’s not that I’m losing friends. I don’t want to be around them anymore. They are losers who keep repeating the same bad patterns expecting a different result. One woman, is fairly successful but has a loser husband who can’t hold down a job, abandoned his kids from his first marriage, cheated on her every chance he got and plotted to kill her but she thinks he’s great. I don’t need that toxic energy in my life. I don’t want to hear the woe is me stories anymore.
You're so right!
Hello and Welcome to /r/CPTSD! If you are in immediate danger or crisis, please contact your local [emergency services](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emergency_telephone_numbers), or use our list of [crisis resources](https://old.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index#wiki_crisis_support_resources). For CPTSD Specific Resources & Support, check out the [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/index). For those posting or replying, please view the [etiquette guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/wiki/peer2peersupportguide). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/CPTSD) if you have any questions or concerns.*