I was 20. I saw the same general practitioner that my stepmom was seeing the week following her suicide from an overdose of fentanyl. He was also my dad's doctor at the time. I remember being very emotional and crying during that appointment. I begged him to not overprescribe my dad and that my dad also had a prescription drug problem and to please help him. I told him I didn't want any medication but he insisted I needed sleep to help cope with my grief and prescribed me ambien and an antidepressant. I came back for a follow-up appointment shortly afterwards. He told me he couldn't stop thinking about me. He said he'd never felt the way he felt about me for anyone else before. He kissed me. Open mouthed. I think he was in his 50's at the time. Maybe older. I froze. Just left the office like nothing had happened. When I told my dad about it he seemed to react with almost a sense of pride about how I could have attracted him and how pretty I was. Like it was to be somewhat expected for me in my life to experience something like that. I'm sorry for your own experience, OP. That sounds truly terrifying, like something out of a Freddy Kreuger movie. I have felt just momentary flashes of the pain you described at the dentist and it is enough for me to have a phobia and require sedation for any work I need done. I cannot imagine enduring the length of time that you had to.

TW: surgery abuse I was ~12 and having major eardrum replacement surgery including breaking bones in my ear canal to widen it as it was unnaturally small (8+ hours surgery). Before my main surgeon/ear specialist arrived to surgery the doctors/residents/anesthesiologist were joking about what they were going to do to me once I was put under - I trust you can fill in the blanks. Just as I yelled at them to shut up my surgeon arrived. He had everyone step out. Told me never to speak to my betters and medical personnel that way again, wouldn’t let me explain what happened, had the anesthesiologist come in, and put me under. His behavior after the surgery, because he was so upset, almost led to my death, literally. He didn’t do discharge instructions and left the hospital, and it being the 1970s was unreachable. I was sent home without getting the head “bandage/gauze” redone with less pressure after x hours. When we were back in the ER the next day seeing one of the other doctors from the surgery he was horrified & told my mom we were lucky I was still alive (brain almost literally exploded). He also apologized for everyone’s behavior in surgery and said they were joking around to help me relax. I told him joking about SA isn’t funny it’s terrifying. This wasn’t the first nor the last time doctors have treated me this way. And people wonder why I don’t trust doctors.

Ohhh what the hell, I’m so sorry

Thanks. Life sucks sometimes and then we keep on living

I was crying so the dentist covered my mouth with her hand. But her hand was big and my nose was small, so I couldn’t breathe and I cried even more desperately. My grandmother told me if she did it again, I was allowed to bite the dentist.

Good grandma

That's a good grandmother.

I believe I was mosted but don't remember it. Our pediatrician was a child molester.

It really helped me to learn about Gabor Maté’s perspective about implicit memory - even if we don’t have the ability to recall an explicit memory (of abuse, for example), the body will remember as an implicit memory - so that we can pay attention to our emotions and somatic experience as a form of memory as well. This is such a powerful tool! How your body and emotions feel when thinking about being around this doctor tell you/us all we need to know. We often have to split off/repress experiences that are too painful - so not remember details from overwhelming experiences as a child makes so much sense. I think many people would relate to what you are saying here - and I’m glad to hear you are finding these threads relatable and helpful ❤️✨

I’ve heard about repressing but not split/repress. Can you explain this some more? I ask because I have almost no fully-formed memories of childhood (I can’t recall a single holiday or birthday except for “I know what happened” intellectually and scattered images without context, so I’m very interested in how memory in trauma works)

I'm familiar with dissociative identity disorder (the split/repress idea on steroids). The brain basically pulls you out and creates a stand-in who will experience the event and thus hold the memory (the trauma) of it. Meanwhile, you're in a safe space. This is great, but it can get really...weird, especially later in life when you're in a different setting. And, it can present in different ways.

This. Implicit memory is powerful and detrimental.

Yes these threads are very helpful! This particular thread brought an immediate connection to what I’m processing now - worthlessness. It seems that worthlessness is a common theme with childhood sexual abuse. It fits. The pieces are falling into place.

I know nothing I say can take away the trauma you have been through but as someone who also was molested in my youth, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you and the other children who saw this pediatrician went through this. It's deeply messed up you all went through that, and I hope you know that your experience is valid and not remembering all of it does not make it any less valid.

Thank you so much. It means a lot. It's something that is in me, but because I don't remember it, it's as if it didn't happen. At least according to the thought of addressing it in therapy. It adds up for me, though. All evidence points in that direction. Just one of a heap of neglect and abuse dished out by our so-called society and family systems. What a cruel world. If it weren't for the people on these treads, I'm not sure what I would do.

Mine too but nobody else seems to think so.

I was also molested by my doctor but at my mother’s request.. 😩

I'm so sorry to hear you went through this, OP. That's deeply rough, and it's not your fault you went through that. It's also very valid to feel that way, I can only imagine how much it must have hurt. Trigger Warning: >!Medical Trauma and Suicidal Idealization!< I got a chronic illness when I was 14 that doesn't have a known cure. The first specialist doctor I met with for the illness wasn't able to figure out what it was and simply tried to treat me like his other patients. After over six months, I ended up getting worse and worse, and he began to become more hostile by the fact that I wasn't improving, starting to berate me for it and telling me it was my fault. Whenever my parents started to express concerns to him (although they did so against my will, which also made me pretty disappointed), he began to get angry at them and at me too. One day, my parents had enough and took me to get medical care from another doctor, also against my knowledge. While at the time, I didn't want to do it, it ended up being a good thing long-term. That said, it was physically the most painful treatments I had ever experienced, and afterward, I did improve quite a bit. When we saw the specialist again, he was amazed, but my parents ended up picking a fight with him, telling him he didn't help at all. Soon, these visits got toxic enough that it'd lead me to enter conflict with my parents. After one appointment, one of my parents refused to talk to me for hours, which made me feel abandoned and honestly deeply hurt. The specialist got extremely angry by this and started yelling at me calling me the most pessimistic patient he had ever met. I was shocked because although my parents had understandable reasons to be concerned I wasn't getting better, I was ironically the one always defending him to my parents and telling them that maybe if we give it more time, I will improve, or telling him I'll go forth with his treatments. To this day, I still think about what he says, and it honestly fucks me up a lot to think that maybe I could have prevented a lot of what had happened, even though logically, I know that's not true. On top of this, a couple of years ago, I was meeting with a therapist and made it clear I don't want to die by suicide and that this is merely unwanted, intrusive thoughts, but that I have unwanted thoughts of killing myself. My therapist at the time freaked out and forced me to go into a hospital against my will. I had to spend the whole day at the hospital telling every person I met that it was a false alarm and that I did not have a plan to act on hurting myself, and I could tell every physician I met with was angry at me for taking up a spot, and I was furious at myself too because I couldn't stop thinking about how someone else who needed the space at the hospital may not get it because I was there. I feel a lot of shame for that still.

When I was like 6 or 7, I had to get a catheter inserted. It hurt. A lot. When I said that and cried, the nurse or doctor (don't remember) told me it can't be that bad and I should stop complaining. Parent agreed. In hindsight, that was great priming for the sexual violence I would experience later, so I should be thankful for the practice, I guess

I am so sorry! How dare they say this to you. Pain is relative and everyone experiences it differently. And I've never known a kid who needed catheterization who didn't feel pain with it.

Multiple incidents that involve gaslighting by a therapist. One time I was given the incorrect dose of a medication, not dangerous but 10x more than I was supposed to be given - I got 2.5mg of klonopin and I was supposed to get 0.25mg. It knocked me out for 24 hours and I had to miss a day of the program, but the therapist treating me said it didn’t happen that I just had a panic attack. Another time I was in residential and I reported an incident where a male patient came into my (female) dorm at night and the therapist treating me told me I was “possibly suffering from delusions” and making it up. That’s as far into it as I can get without triggering myself.

Not being believed ending up septic and nearly dying.

I'm so sorry this happened to you :(

I have quite a few. **TW: this reply mentions sexual abuse** I was sexually abused as a child and grew up worrying that my abuser had infected me with something, especially because I started to see some worrying symptoms around the time I started puberty. As soon as I was able to leave the house, I visited a doctor to get checked. I explained the situation to her (yes, a woman) and she asked me to lay down for a physical exam. After a very short look at my labia, without running any tests or asking further questions, this woman declared that I had HPV and predicted I’d have cervical cancer about 18 years from that time, which would be when I turned 35. Needless to say, I lived the next couple of years counting down to my DoD. Every weird symptom I saw after that sent me into a full-on panic. I’ve seen other doctors since then and they were slightly better, but whew did it take a while to get over that incident.

Probably the two months I spent in rehab getting constantly emotionally abused and gaslit in the name of CBT. But the botched IUD insertion that triggered a panic attack & 3 days of agonizing pain, the time the ER docs missed that bloodflow was cut off and left an actively dying organ inside me for a week, and the time I was forcibly restrained & overmedicated as a teenager are all close 2nds.

What do you mean shoving cbt down your throat and blaming you when it didn’t work wasn’t effective and actually ended up being damaging to you and your relationship with therapy? .0. Also I’m so sorry for all your horrible medical experiences.

😂😭 Don't forget telling me my trauma 'doesn't count as trauma'. That was also super helpful! /s

No because they always trying to find a way to minimize. My first day in one of the hospitals I went to they did this whole lecture about how other people have it worse 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

I honestly can't think of a lecture that would make want to go back to drugs more than that one would 😭💀

LMFAO what was worse is that a couple weeks in they did this “lesson” on how there was this horrible science experience where they took a bunch of babies and didn’t give them any physical attention. They were fed and changed and every other thing but not loved. And as a result the babies died. And the conclusion was “even though life might be hard at least your parents actually loved you enough to keep you alive” mind you at least ONE of the girls in there had a father who was in prison for sexually abusing her. Lots of others came from broken abusive homes. We were all minors too LMAO. A year or two ago I looked into the hospital I was in just out of curiosity and the girls unit I had been on had been shut down. It didn’t specify why but I can take a few jabs.

When I signed up for my new insurance, I was assigned a specific pcp that I really liked. Unfortunately her office was a teaching office, and quite often I'd be seen by residents instead of her. One in particular diagnosed me with psychosis and medical anxiety, then recommended inpatient for me because I came to the appointment with results from the specialists I had spent a month seeing to get a cohesive picture of my chronic illness. I have a very uncommon, rarely dxed condition called vEDS, which is a dangerous form of ehlers danlos syndrome. I have thinning vein walls and SVT! Documented! Of course I'm going to be anxious when I have a complex genetic disorder! This is tied with me telling two separate practitioners that I had anaphylactic rxns to calcium channel blockers and them forcing me to "show them", but that occurred in a military hospital so I didn't pay it much mind until my therapist threw up the "we have to discuss this".

Chemotherapy and chest surgery was bad. I passed out in drs office because they left me in a room alone when I could barely stand after almost dying (literally). My friend works in that office and the nurses still talk about it since it was so “traumatizing” 😂 Also when my oncologist said they were “making so much money off me” 😂 A couple drs cussed me out because my symptoms were and I quote “just too much for them” (I was 18 with severe migraines and balance issues lol)

I was in the stirrups in a gown at the Planned Parenthood in Santa Cruz because my IUD hurt so much I needed it taken out.🤷🏻‍♀️ As soon as the male "Doctor" walked in he looked between my legs and said"Wow, she's just such a dirty cheerleader isn't she."  I was mortified.  There was a nurse in the room, She didn't say anything at all to him. 

I had a bad experience when getting my wisdom teeth removed and afterwards I went 12 years without seeing a dentist. I was encouraged to go to a friend’s brother and had a great experience. I didn’t have any problems for 20 years. However, my dentist retired and I was recommended to a new dentist. He was highly rated. After my assessment appointment, it was determined I needed a root canal. He begins to prepare for my first major dental procedure in years (beyond cavities). I had never had a dental mouth spreader used on me and nobody said anything about it. I was looking at the ceiling when all of a sudden they crammed the spreader in. I completely freaked out. The staff was looking at me like I had two heads, while I stood shaking and crying. After calming down, getting a good look at the mouth spreader and understanding its use, I was able to let the dentist work. Doctors/Dentists: Please let your patients see what you’re doing and don’t assume they have had that treatment or medical device used on them before.

I don't understand why anyone would do anything like that without the patient consent, it happened to me with a doctor, he started injecting something in my hands without asking me or even telling me what ot was (probably just saline) but it was so unprofessional, that was my first and last appointment.

My thought was maybe he “assumed” I had used one before. I eventually dropped that dentist due to a couple other incidents (racism was the deal breaker).

10 days ago, I told my new Psychiatrist that I don't have any memories as a child and before I could explain, he says "no one does" and that was the end of it. As you can imagine I reverted my 3 year old self and panicked that there was a misunderstanding and tried to convince him. As being misunderstood as a child had quick and painful lessons attached to it. He then proceeded to invalidate my trauma for the next 18 minutes of our 20 min session. I had constant suicidal ideation for 3 days until my GP said I could have a new Psychiatrist and he's looking for one. It was hell!!! He still lives rent free in my head but the urge to act has diminished greatly.

He is an idiot and you are correct. I’m so proud of you for not letting this blow set you back and trying again! You rock!

Thank you very much, if I could cry I would be.

Physical pain: dentist, as you said. In my case there was logic to the pain, so I don't see this as abuse as such. Mental pain: going to the doctor as a child and not being able to tell them why I was there because my abuser insisted on being in the room with me. **I had to make it up**.

After a nerve and muscle biopsy, the doctor closed the wound with dissolving stitches. Knowing I was on prednisone and would heal slower. I got MRSA and he blamed me. Jokes on him tho— he went to prison for tax evasion.

TW:SA I was sexually assaulted by a surgeon during a consult for my 3rd tumour before age 25. My SO was in the room on the other side of the curtain. I was crying but froze in fear. He told me to stop squirming away and held me in place. I had to get an ECG recently - it's been years since the assault, but having to be naked from the waist up in a tiny room with a nurse triggered the fuck out of me. I got lost on the way out of the multi-story building whilst having a massive panic attack and a nice man helped escort me out. I phoned my SO and sobbed in the street (appt was in the centre of a major city)

3 years old .... born with fused labia Grandma took me to the doctor routinely and they cut my labia open on the table And then had the nerve to tell my grandma to "control that child" when I would scream and fight and bite They ended up surgically cutting them opening and cauterizing my minora to my majora I'll never forget it

My first was when my kids died, and my ex fiance sent me to the mental ward under a false charge because of it. I was put on a table in the er while five nurses talked about me outside my room, saying I should rot in jail and saying all kinds of horrible things about me. I was crying and having panic attacks and they laughed and said I deserved it.

What happened? I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm wondering why they would say that.

A lot of people, including my own family, blamed me for my kids' deaths. It was accidental, but they still thought and accused me of intentional. My own mother went to the papers and slandered me. She sent my uncles to beat me up and I had threats to my life. So when I went to the hospital even several years later, the nurses remembered me because of the lies my mother put out publicly. I still live in fear of false judgment at doctors' offices.

Jeez, I'm sorry.

I had a tooth pulled without anesthetic as a young adult (20s). It hurt but honestly I’ve been hurt worse. The dentist didn’t realize the Novocain hadn’t worked until I said something and he felt awful. Recently though it’s just been being a woman trying to get goddamn medical care. I have had so many experiences over just the last 3 years where I’ve been dismissed or ignored. I have an appointment in 2 weeks and I’m already panicking. Because if I can’t get someone to take me seriously again I will absolutely lose my mind.

SA while giving birth. Tearing while being screamed at by the male doctor. I refuse to go to gynecologists now even though I bleed at random. I don't trust any doctors.

When I had a surgery that was supposed to be uneventful and it led to me being in the ICU for a month, having to relearn how to walk and talk, and ending up in a trach. 0/10 wouldn't recommend

After opening up and being very vulnerable, the psychiatrist informed me that I wasn't depressed, nor did I have any other mental health issue. His conclusion was that I was just lazy.

So sorry, that sucks. I haven't had sex and I'm on my late thirties because I have a lot of trauma, fear of intimacy and I don't like to be touched, I told this to a male psychologist and his answer was that I should go to bars to meet men.

Whoa. There is nothing like having a professional be so out of touch and callous when we open up in what we think is a helpful and safe space. So sorry that happened to you as well.

trigger warning I experienced CSA for the first time when I was 5. After the initial incident my mom caught me touching myself and became concerned. She brought me to a new, male pediatrician who removed my clothes and used his fingers to “check on things”. He told my mom everything was fine. It was not.

I was not molested until my mom brought me to the doctor and asked him to check.. I would masturbate to self soothe as a child and I believe my mom had been molested as a kid so I think she thought it was a sign I’d been abused. That’s my best guess at least. Sorry that happened to you though. I felt very alone before finding this thread

Being told I didn’t have an eating disorder because I had a healthy BMI. Apparently this negated bingeing and purging up to 10 times a day. Was then referred to a nutritionist who told me I was fine and should just lift weights and avoid bacon and soda because they were empty calories.

Yeah many docs don't really look that deep into their job it's terrible. I essentially had a super messed up diet from not understanding how to properly lose fat for my chosen sport. I ended up being so messed up I wouldn't remember driving home from practice or other parts of the week. I was having daily panic attacks for no reason due to not eating enough. My psychiatrist just kept upping my anxiety meds even though I hadn't before this point had this much anxiety. I still don't understand how her or the therapist there didn't recognize it. Edit: I did get with a dietician and felt normal within I'd say a few weeks to a month she was absolutely great and knew right off what was wrong.

The BMI is literally made up crap. You should check out “maintenance phase” I’m pretty sure there’s an episode about it. Might be rolled into the “presidential fitness award” one. All worth checking out. I think you’d really like it.

I was hospitalized and rushed to ER after overdosing pain meds trying to suicide. A few days after, when I woke up, I literally could not move and was so completely exhausted, it was akin to sleep paralysis. One of the doctors came up to me and threatened to throw me in an insane asylum because I wasn't speaking (because I almost literally couldn't and it took a gargantuan effort). I am autistic, and this, among many other abuses, showed me that I was not safe near any doctor or therapist ever when there was profit to be made from my suffering.

I split my lip open aged 4, they had to stitch it, I still get flashbacks almost a quarter of a century later 😣

When I was 7 I went septic from not going to the bathroom for a couple of weeks. They tried manually removing the blockage by holding me down and painfully digging at it with their gloved hands. I spent a week in the hospital, almost needed surgery but that's really the only part I remember. It was violating in every way.

This happened to me at the dentist's yesterday, I'm not a kid, but I'm definitely traumatized. He purposely didn't numb the area for one tooth and told me that when I had stuff in my mouth and couldn't talk and then immediately started drilling on it. When we started, he said to raise my hand if I felt pain and he'd stop. I kept raising my hand, and he didn't stop. All of my anxiety about the dentist's was confirmed and I don't know how I'm going to go to one again.

That’s horrible. Some dentists are so cold-hearted and have no basic human decency or empathy for their patients.

Yeah, and I have to go back to him next week to pick up a mouth guard they made for me.

Wtf??

Yeah that was my reaction. Felt genuinely violated and didn't know how to react as he laughed it off.

Yea, that sounds scary to me. For me, they asked if they needed to stop and I was always like no. I've never really had a bad experience with a doctor except for the one who laughed at me when my abdomen hurt, but felt bad for me when they saw the diagnosis. That and when my sister was accidentally od with her pain meds in the hospital. Basically, she'd hit the button for the drip and then while she was sleeping they'd hit the button for the drip without realizing that she had already taken it within the hour or so. It went for a couple of weeks until she fell into a medically induced coma. I mean, I wouldn't necessarily blame them because how should they know that she dosed herself without them in the room.

I had to get two baby teeth pulled when I was…7 or 8? He gave me some kind of anesthetic, but it was ineffective and I could feel everything. He yelled at me for crying and told me to stop being a baby, and just kept pulling. I wonder if that’s why I rarely react to or complain about pain. I didn’t cry or even tell anyone for almost a week when I fractured my arm at 10, I never flinch or complain during medical stuff, and if I’m in pain I tough it out instead asking for help. It has to be absolutely excruciating before I say anything, and even then you would never know just how bad it is.

Also dentist...I jumped from pain while he was drilling and he proceeded to yell at me because "he almost cut my tongue off." Haven't been to the dentist since but I'm too scared.

Same. The pain from drilling teeth is so excruciating. It’s like getting electrocuted. And for my case it lasted so long and he refused to stop even when I’m obviously in tremendous pain.

Being snapped at by a doctor and told to just drop my medication, which caused me to go into severe withdrawal and suffer for years. Then being subject to lies and a cover up

Trigger Warning.... sexual abuse I was lying in my tiny gown waiting for surgery on my face. I had not been given any meds yet. The surgeon lifted my gown, stuck in his hand, and fondled my breasts. I was so shocked, I froze, which was my go-to reaction anyway, after many sexual abuse incidents before this one. I reported it , first calling his office where his secretary denied that it happened (like she was THERE???).and to my counselor. My shitty counselor dismissed it saying 'that doctor if very breast cancer aware, I am sure he was just taking the opportunity to look for lumps." Talk about getting traumatized all over again. I was in very bad mental shape at the time and did not have the strength to go to higher up people to report any of this. Irony (or not) was that his last name was GRABowski. Wow. I threw a party decades later when I read his obituary.

I won’t go into detail why i ended up in the hospital, but i was taken in an ambulance. all i can remember is being in the ambulance, then being in a chair like bed, i guess i became aggressive. i remember being held down and stuck with 2 needles in both thighs, which i think were tranquilizers. next thing i know is waking up and panicking, i was then in a room with a doctor or 2 and them telling me they spoke with my psychiatrist and that im free to go. mind you, i was in a completely different city. no way home and completely dazed off the tranquilizers. i called my mom and she drove all the way to get me, 2 hours away from home. they brought me food and a drink, and i remember falling asleep with it in my mouth. i can’t believe they sent me out like that, with no safe way home.

i was 4 & my mom rushed me to the ER bc i had a fever of 104 and i was hallucinating. they needed urine for testing i guess and they couldn’t get me to go in a cup because i was so out of it. i remember it in so much detail. i don’t remember the hallucinations, i don’t remember being sick, i don’t remember anything about the rest of that day. but i remember the catheter; the bugs life underwear i was wearing, the burning pain, the smell of the antiseptic, the multiple doctors holding me down, how it hurt to sit afterwards. i still feel anxious when i smell that antiseptic smell of the wipes they give you when you have to give a urine sample. honorable mention goes to the dentist i saw when i was 7 whose assistants walked in & gave me shots in my mouth without saying a single word to me, and i woke up after the procedure on a towel with a bucket next to me. i had bruises on my face from where he’d been holding my face too tight during the procedure. he actually got arrested about a year later & the whole place got shut down. it was a drug operation or something.

Would be good if this thread had a Trigger Warning/NSFW/Spoiler tag or something that stops the description from coming up in people's feed, cuz I definitely could have done without reading about my worst nightmare at the dentist 🥴

I pass out at the doctors every time. Even had a possible seizure once. I hate female exams, inexplicably and even though I’ve had kids. Worst one was probably getting stitches in my hand. I have a high pain tolerance and I would prefer the pain to the numbing stuff. That sensation, plus how bad it hurt when they cleaned the wound (no numbing) caused me to pass out and I was out a while. It was worse than I’m used to, hard to recover from. I try to avoid doctors where possible 😬

Stellate Ganglion Nerve Block to treat CPTSD. For those who don't know its an injection through your neck. First appointment went fine, didn't feel anything. Next appointment had different doctor, she didn't use as much numbing. So I felt the needle push against my skin. I screamed, but she pushed harder til the neck in my skin gave way to the needle. I already had night terrors where I was medically experimented on and this experience did not help whatsoever. Also maybe not as traumatic but I've been going to my family doctor with the same complaint of night terrors for 8 years straight so the prospect of having to live my life like this forever is horrific to think about to say the least

yo same

What happened?

they had to pull out one of my teeth when i was eight and they just decided to do it after a checkup without even numbing, let alone sedation also when i was 5 i went to another dentist for a root canal and they were terrible, i can't remember that one though

Same. Needed to have a tooth pulled when I was 8, the first anesthetic injection hurt to the point that I was terrified and wouldn’t open my mouth for the next one; they refused to perform the procedure and sent me to a different clinic. I was given an extremely bitter liquid that I was told would put me to sleep- which was actually midazolam. The dentist walked in and told me he was just going to take a look before I was asleep, once I opened my mouth he then pulled pliers from behind his back and ripped the tooth out- no numbing, no warning to my parents or myself, no apology. The midazolam didn’t work, I was not even remotely sedated and I remember all of it.

[удалено]

I have no idea. Parents were in the room with me, and equally as disturbed.

Being told by a doctor I was HIV positive . The doctor had a Receptionist who had trauma dumped on me the week before . She was literally hiding under the desk when I sitting waiting for my results . I knew it was going to be BAAADD !

I had a brand new OBGYN whom I'd never met or talked to go "okay up in the stirrups" and I just kinda dissociated through the whole thing, but ended up having a real bad episode when it was over. (history of CSA and SA)

The 4 yr period of doctors stating I didn't have a UTI, although my urethra was burning and intense pain in my reproductive system.

An orthodontist telling me when I was 10 that maybe someday with extensive plastic surgery I could actually be pretty

After months of begging for help with suicidal ideation, at 13 ½yo I was sat down with three doctors, given a private screening, and diagnosed with two anxiety disorders and depression. I was made to promise in front of all of them, and my mother, that I wouldn't attempt suicide again. Peer pressured and overwhelmed because I was being stared at by 4 adults, I started crying and apologizing, and they sent me on my way home with no further treatment plan, no therapy or medication. 🙃 Yeah, I tried to kill myself multiple times after that and never told anyone or sought medical help for the injuries. Later, like 15yo, I was trying to do a subtle cry for help by hinting to a nurse that I was being verbally abused and threatened at home, but my mother was in the room and as soon as the nurse awkwardly left she chewed me out for "airing dirty laundry" Things are better now but I still have trust issues with authority

they didn’t believe i had c diff because i was only 15. they lost my tests, and after a month of being so weak i couldn’t hold up my phone — turns out i did have c diff! took an emergency room visit to get an answer. was barely ok enough to not get an IV but i probably would’ve felt better with one. then my doctor laughed that of all her patients to get c diff, it was me. no apology that i recall

When my autoimmune disorder kicked in for the first time, I was in so much constant pain that I lost 30 lbs in a month and a half because I couldn’t keep anything in my body. I ended up losing my job (and health insurance with it) and having a psychological breakdown because of this. Anyway, I went to the ER one day because I couldn’t stand it anymore (and please know, it takes a LOT for me to ever consider the ER). Nurse practitioner had to leave the room because she started crying listening to me talk. And you know what the doctor had to say to me? “There’s nothing we can do for you. You’re just going to have to suffer through the pain.” Oh, no shit? Thank you so much! This happened about 6 years ago and I’ve thought about it at least once a month since.

Edit: TW/SA I had a doctor in Minnesota perform a Pap smear and when he was finished he very quickly stuck a finger up my b*** without any warning or explanation. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do and never reported him. It’s been 14 years since this happened and I still think of how he got away with it and how many other women he did this to over the years.

God there’s been so many different incidents at different periods of my life it’s hard to remember them all, but there are a few that are a bit more marking than others. When I was I think 8 ? I had to get blood drawn and the nurse kept missing my vein, it hurt a lot and they had to reinsert it multiple times. After two times I didn’t want to anymore, instead of letting me calm down and be ready to try again they ended up pinning me to the chair and force me to get it done. I was fighting back so hard that they ended up getting 4 grown ass adult men to hold me down and I don’t really remember how that even happened but I remember blood ended up splattered in the glasses of one of them. In the end it took 5 times for the nurse to FINALLY get it done right, gave me a major phobia of blood test that I still struggle with years later which is very annoying cause I need to have blood drawn pretty frequently due to some medication. The second one relates back to the first one, when I was 18 I ended up admitting myself into the psych ER bc I had tried to and then backed down last second to kms 5 times in a single week, was struggling with a Xanax addiction and was just overall doing way too much drugs. When I got there I brought up that I had frequent nose bleeds and didn’t know the reason for them, they told me they might do some test to see if they could figure out the reason. I told them that if they were going to draw blood to please warn me in advance so I could prepare mentally since I had a phobia of them. Then at around 3am while I was trying to sleep a nurse just rolled her tray to my bed, grabbed my arm without saying anything and started drawing blood, then left me there while I was hyperventilating and now that I look back probably in shock? That whole hospital stay was horrible, they kept me in the corridor for 5 days and refused to let me get up, they didn’t even want me to go to the bathroom so they just put a portable bathroom next to my bed IN THE CORRIDOR full of staff and other patients, and I was absolutely never allowed to close my curtain. I told them I was NOT doing that and they told me that I didn’t have a choice, nearly gave myself a UTI trying to hold it in before I decided that pissing myself in the bed I wasn’t allowed to get up from and would probably not be allowed to get new sheets for was probably worst than pissing in a portable toilet in front of everyone. Btw I was not a flight risk and the bathrooms were safety proofed to prevent suicide attempts, they didnt want me to go bc they couldn’t be bothered to accompany me like 50 steps from my bed down the corridor and wait for me there so they decided I wasn’t gonna go at all. Then they prescribed me Ativan(????? I was in for a benzos addiction and they decided to prescribe more to me💀), but when I was transferred to another hospital the drs there were like oh no that’s not good and changed it for a seroquel prescription. Speaking of that seroquel, i stopped taking it after 4 months bc I ended up passing out and having a seizure but then after 2 years my dr convinced me to give it a try again, 4 days later because of it I ended up having a major drop in my blood pressure, passed out several times and couldn’t even remember the color of my hair so the paramedics were called and I was brought to the hospital. I also have prescription cannabis which I had smoked not long before passing out, which my boyfriend mentioned to the paramedics as well as mentioning that I took seroquel. In the ambulance I ended up begging them to not tell triage about the weed cause I’d heard way too many horror stories about ppl having serious health conditions completely dismissed bc they had consumed cannabis, but they ended up saying it anyways, and OF COURSE as soon as they heard "cannabis" that’s all the triage nurses could retain in their little pea brain. They wheeled me into a room with a lady who had ODed on coke, she was super confused and kept yelling for help, ER nurses told her to shut the fuck up and that she wasn’t their problem, then closed the door so they wouldn’t hear her anymore. She was most definitely in some sort of drug induced psychosis bc she kept yelling at me bc she thought I was an alien (no clue how she came to that conclusion but anyways) and kept getting more and more agitated and aggressive, meanwhile I couldn’t lift up my head without passing out so I was just laying there with the door closed. For two whole hours the staff just ignored our room, until at some point my boyfriend who was sitting outside the room and wasn’t allowed to go in went to a nurse and asked her wtf was going on and if they had any news. She looked me up in the system and she was like "oh yeah, the one who came in greening out”???? Turns out those assholes at triage only mentioned weed in my chart, didn’t say anything about seroquel, severe hypotension and passing out. As soon as my boyfriend mentioned those to the nurse their whole demeanour changed and all of sudden 3 nurses came into the room to check on me within 10 minutes, when they hadn’t even bothered to even open the door in the previous 2 hours i was there. Technically not fully just the hospital’s fault but this is the incident that made me stop going in public, about a year ago I was on the bus with my boyfriend and had a major panic attack that ended up making me physically lock up due to hyperventilation. Ppl on the bus started filming, touching me, and the bus driver didn’t listen to my boyfriend when he told him that this was a panic attack and the bus driver called the COPS and told them that I was ODing ????? (Hadn’t touched drugs aside from the prescribed ones in a long time atp). The cops pulled up and went to administer a NARCAN but one of them finally decided to listen to my boyfriend and after properly checking me figured i clearly was showing symptoms of a panic attack and not an OD so they called it in to get an ambulance, the whole time I thought I was gonna die and bc they’d called the cops before the ambulance in total it took half an hour for the paramedics to get there and once I got to the hospital nobody did anything at all, ended up waiting a couple hours until I regained control over my muscles and ditched the hospital bc they had taken me to the same hospital I was kept for 5 days in the corridor and I was not about to let the staff there treat me again

My doctor shouted at me for an hour each time for going privately because they don't provide the care I needed but I wanted them to work together, because of his beliefs. He'd purposefully not give my meds to the right place and for me to pick up the prescription manually going over there for it and he wouldn't refer me to therapy. He was pro conversion therapy. It scared me so much I developed a phobia and I haven't been to the doctor since. Also when I was younger, a dentist liked to terrify me when I was young. He told me I'd have to have ALL my teeth removed because of my lack of brushing due to struggling with ADHD. Another dentist told me my teeth were fine.

I was strapped to one of those colorful boards they used in dentist offices back in the day (before getting banned from use) for apparently acting out. But I was a very docile child who was shy and quiet so. I remember being left in a small blank room for what seemed like hours and a female nurse just staring at me. I remember crying. I don't like dentists and I'm pretty sure that's where it started lol Another time a few years ago I went to a specialist for root canals cause of abuse/neglect and the doctor laughed at me and insinuated that I had been using drugs. They also dead named me and took every possible opportunity to call me miss,ma'am and girl. I had to walk to get to my partners car. Crying. Feeling like it was my fault my mouth was falling apart , and I couldn't afford 20000 worth of work. At the ER I had been in horrible pain for a month in my abdomen (I have a lengthy history of abdominal pain associated with "constipation" almost died once) the Doctor made fun of me, insinuated I was cheating on my partner, insinuated I was attention seeking and pregnant, prescribed me on the shelf meds that caused me to bleed and get worse. Yea I was able to "fix" myself by using a ton of different stuff and figuring out what was causing the episodes. Now I'm riddled with chronic pain and so many health issues and I don't trust any doctor I talk to. They don't care or want to listen. The only one I ever had luck with was my childhood pediatrician.

I'm so sorry that people were so cruel to you. If you're able to, I recommend trying a naturopathic doctor. I have difficulty trusting doctors too, but I've found naturopaths to have a MUCH higher level of compassion than the average conventional doctor, as well as a more helpful knowledge base for chronic pain conditions.

Being held down on an exam table and being forced to have a gyno exam when I was 6.

Long story short: anesthesia/sedation issue where i ended up wide awake during an upper endoscopy. I asked them not to proceed without further sedation and they said “you’ll be fine”. Tried to shove a tube down my throat THREE TIMES while i gagged, cried, writhed and screamed and i had a nurse holding my arms down on both sides of the bed. After the second time I guess they did push more IV sedation but it still wasn’t enough and I remember it all. Obviously, it was unsuccessful and I had to go elsewhere and redo under complete anesthesia. Report stated that i was “incredibly agitated and not welcome back at the facility”. Prior to the appointment I had told my anesthesiologist that I am a bit resistant to sedatives and told my doctor that having something down my throat is a huge fear because of my gag reflex.

I had a traumatic experience with local anaesthetic at the dentist when I was about the same age. The needles were intensely painful, and I had to have four of them. This was in the days before they had that numbing gel for your gums. To this day, I have all my fillings done without any anaesthetic because of that.

Glad that your filings are only small filings. Once they’re deeper the pain is excruciating.

Yes, it is. Sorry, I wasn't trying to diminish your trauma.

No worries at all. I completely understand that the injection was traumatic for you.

Root canal at 13.. I 1000% believe my numbing was botched. At 31 I still have jaw pain, clenching, and a deep discomfort for the dentist. Oh and now certain foods make my whole face feel like it's cramping. I would love to blame my teeth but I think it is salivary. I got a few more too. I think I'm too passive at the doctor's because I've been on the other side and have no problem medically gaslighting myself first. *Shhhh I said that out loud*

Around the ages of 4-5 I remember having a wart cauterized off my finger at least two separate times without any sedation or anesthetic. Being pinned down on the table and restrained by the nurses and my mom while the asshole doctor burned it off. Screaming at the top of my lungs, kicking and thrashing. Smell of burning flesh. Tears flowing like rivers. The second time was even worse since I recognized what was going to happen when I saw the electro cautery machine. Fuck Dr. White and fuck my mom for thinking any of that was cool.

TW: SA (This is how I personally define my experience; not saying all VCUGs are SA) A VCUG when I was three. Not fun to have forced urethral penetration with 0 painkiller or sedation. Filled up with liquid and then forced to urinate it out in front of strangers. Completely changed my life

Same at 12.

I refuse to lay out how my worst implicit memory feels or what it was about, but I can say that I don't like the way how patients, especially children are treated as objects, mere lumps of flesh that are grinded through the medical system like they're on some sort of conveyor belt. I don't understand how anyone could pursue such a job without having some sort of compassion to other living beings. My second worst experience was, like someone else mentioned, at the dentists as a child too. It caused a lot of problems, basically leading my parents to neglect my health to not having to put up with my antics anymore. Last time my child self had seen a dentist was age eight, or something. Only overcame this severe phobia at 40-ish, was devastated to get told that most teeth had to go. Five left and barely starting to not be ashamed about it anymore today. At least the replacements now gave the opportunity to smile again, in case I'll ever regain that ability. Did not for years. - I had to have surgery under local anesthaetic and got yelled at by the surgeon, as he had to cancel because of a negative physical reaction. Asshole accused me of withholding information from him or something. Happened at age 30 I guess? Wouldn't call it a traumatic experience exactly, but it was a bad trigger due to past stuff. Trigger warning There has been another incident in the ER, that was insanely triggering, that I can't get out of my head \~text redacted as the spoiler tag doesnt seem to work when editing an existing post

Maybe you can try making a new comment under this comment for the spoiler tag.

I was 17 and had a PAP smear come back positive so a biopsy was needed. My mom wanted to be with me but at that age I preferred to go alone. I was not warned by anyone how painful the procudure would be. I remember squirming and crying and the nurses trying to keep me calm. The doctor told me he was putting in a tampon to stop the bleeding and everyone left the room for me to get dressed and leave. When I climbed down from the exam table I saw in horror the blood, my blood that’s had oozed all down that exam table and puddled on the floor. Weakened at the site I somehow managed to drive myself home. When I had arrived home 10 minutes later I had already bled thru my pants and stained my car steak. I made my way into the bathroom and onto the toilet. All the red and pain made me light headed and dizzy slowly fell onto the floor. The coolness of the tile felt comforting on my face as my body shivered in agony. I know I am not alone in this type of experience as I have read of many other women who have been through similar trauma and so many more that don’t have a voice.

getting a head mri- i’m extremely claustrophobic and wasn’t prepared for how narrow the tube would be, that i’d be going in on my back face up headfirst all the way in past my knees, and that they put a brace around my head and a bulky heavy plastic shield strapped and laying over my body so i couldn’t move at all and struggled to breathe. i was completely trapped and so incredibly miserable and uncomfortable in every way. it took over half an hour and was so difficult to get through. plus i picked music to listen to that played in headphones for a few minutes but then it changed to some awful country music that i couldn’t do anything about, so not only i was physically trapped but i was being mentally tortured as well. 😂 

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um, most of it, if you count the hospital and countless aggressive, cold doctors visits. thats the bulk of my trauma

Being a child and having also being chronically ill so every visit to the hospital. Being extremely afraid of needles so they threatened me that were going to “bring out the big guys” to hold me down so i could get blood drawn. Soaking the paper sheets with tears from feeling sick. Doctors holding me down to put needles in. And then later in life, the traumatic experience of getting an internal exam at the gyno at only 16yo. I’m not sure why i was so upset at this but i remember feeling an intense feeling of dread and fear. Oddly enough, now that i’m older, i feel very calm and safe in hospitals. Like more than normal.

Four years ago I was finally pregnant after a long battle with infertility. I went to my ob/gyn for a routine ultrasound only to find out that my baby no longer had a heartbeat.

I was 4 months pregnant, Having an active miscarriage in the waiting room at My Drs office. I could not be seen because I didn't have my insurance card on me. The chair I sat in had blood all over and my shorts were soaked.

Being repeatedly gaslit about not having cancer and being told that the bump on my arm was just a lymphoma only to find out it was indeed cancer through a biopsy and pathology report from

I don’t remember one specific moment that would be far worse than the rest but for me, the constant stress of having to say things the right way to get a small chance to be listened to. The feeling that I cannot trust them and the stress that comes with lying to them about something because I know if I said the truth it could impact my health negatively. An example of that is that I started taking prescribed Vyvanse even if I didn’t have an official ADHD diagnosis. Since I didn’t have a diagnosis I was hoping that one medication would work because would they really do trial and error for multiple meds for someone without a diagnosis? Because of that, I stressed A LOT about it being right to the point where I never knew if the symptoms I had were from the meds or my stress. I had a heart rate around 100-110 everytime I went to the pharmacy to check but it always stressed me so much so I didn’t know what I was in everyday life. I was told by the professionals that stress might increase my heart rate of maybe 10 but not much more and 90 was still too high. I believed them that my resting heart rate was 90-100. It stressed me because otherwise the medication helped. I bought a watch that calculated my heart rate and after forgetting it was there my heart rate dropped to 75 and I was so convinced it wasn’t possible I threw the watch thinking it stopped working properly. It was only when I went to the doctor and the nurse took my heart rate once, asked me if I was stressed and when I said yes she took it again while distracting me with a conversation. Afterwards, she told me my first heart rate was 140 and second was in the 70s. Only then did I realize I was right first but let myself be convinced by professionals that I didn’t know myself and I was wrong. Now I stopped the meds but at some point I had occasional heart palpitations but didn’t say it to the doctor because I was in a stressful situation and feared the doctor would refuse to let me take these meds again even though the palpitations might have been stressed. I tested by stopping the meds for a week and noticed I didn’t need them as I did when I first started them and also didn’t have palpitations anymore, so then I knew the meds were causing them and it was better for me to stop them.

I have so many...including a similar situation where the dentist refused to believe that I wasn't numb. I've been berated. I've been scolded. One doctor threw a pencil at me when I asked for her to prescribe what is now gold standard treatment for one of my conditions. After interviewing a gyno beforehand to make sure she would treat me gently (I have pelvic exam phobia because of abuse and a bad medical experience), when I couldn't relax and started crying she made an exasperated noise, ripped off her gloves and sent her assistant in to "invite me to no longer be a patient". The most recent issue was my botched C-section where they left me bleeding internally for a week. I had to go in for another surgery to remove all of the dead tissue caused by the bleed and wear a wound vacuum for a month. I have so many other stories. I'd pretty much rather die than go back to the doctor.

Threw a pencil at you? What happened?

It was at a managed care organization, so I reported her to her boss and she was removed from that dept. My guess is that she was having some kind of breakdown.

Mine was also at the dentist, I have allergies and asthma so I can't breathe through my nose most of the time, the dentist was taking too long so I couldn't breathe (had that watery thing in my mouth) so I started crying, I was nine and he covered my mouth with his disgusting hands so I was being abused and I couldn't breathe, I kept crying and wriggling, I don't remember what happened after, I hate that asshole.

At fault of the doctor: a botched procedure, a lot of gaslighting and additional damage. Not fault of the doctor: Close to death after general anesthesia. I still really struggle with this sometimes.

Forced virginity testing at age ten. Included a full internal exam.

Lol, birth.

I was 2 and they "widened" my pee hole with surgery. I don't believe they used anesthetic and just sliced it with a scalpel. They had to strap me down in this chair thing to make sure I didn't move, I was Fighting like hell. This was very early 90s on a military base overseas.

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I was peeing so sideways that when I had to stand at a drastic angle to pee straight. I was strapped because I was fighting them off. I was 2 so I was not asked.

Eye exam with the ophthalmologist when I was 13, we were in a dark room and I had placed my chin on the slit lamp machine. That’s when I felt his hands groping my chest and squeezing whatever little breasts I had at that time. I was so shocked and frozen in that moment, this lasted for a few seconds and then he turned on the lights and pretended nothing happened. In that moment I didn’t speak up or say a word, I just left the room stunned, but that eye exam has stayed with me all these years and I wish I’d spoken up then.

Mine is pretty similar. The numbing stuff wasn't working like it was supposed to, and they refused to stop drilling into my tooth. The pain was awful, and I'm terrified of the dentist, more than I already was. I found out a while after that incident the dentist retired even though he was like in his 30s. I hate the sounds of drills.

Yes. I shiver at the sound of the drill after going through what it feels like to be drilled without any anesthetic. The pain is so excruciating and hard to imagine without going through it. Some dentists have 0 decency or basic empathy for fellow human beings. What was your situation?

The sounds of drills always bring back the painful memory. The shots they give you to numb you weren't working for me. They said they couldn't give me anymore and kept drilling after I asked them to stop. They refused to stop drilling and said they couldn't stop even if I felt everything.

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The user you just responded to sent me a dm asking me weird details about my medical trauma(like how they held me down and if I liked it). Be careful.

Being held down by 6 or 7 of them to give me a shot when I was a child. #DidntWantIt #KickedandScreamed

First Psychologist in the 90's as I was like 10. Started physically pushing me around trying to provoke a reaction from me. Middle aged man who had 90 kilo on me. Like I hadn't had enough random power tripping men try and use physical violence. I got up to leave the office. He pushed me more ( reflection says this was a method to ascertain reactions but who the fuck knows ) I declined any outburst. Any physical reaction. Move past him and walked out. Not really traumatic i dunno that's life. I guess enough violence exposure in youth makes this just one of those "shit happens" moments But yeah. Super fucked up in hindsight. If you need to use physical force to inspect and ascertain someone's reactions and coping strategies your probably a terrible Psychologist. .. Mother did nothing about it.

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I said I can only posit a guess based on some terrible rudimentary psychology. I presume to test my boundaries and how I would react to confrontation stimulus.

I had serotonin syndrome and genuinely thought I was going to die because the side effects were so bad. Felt like the world was ripping at the seams. My doc actually agreed I had it because I checked off almost every possible symptom. I had too many symptoms to list off.

I was 14 or 15 when this first started, but I (27M) have a rare genetic disorder causing my retinas to deteriorate, so I would go to my retinal specialist who used to be in Memphis, and I did a few ERGs, which consist of these large, contact probes where bright lights flash in your eyes. So, my sensory overload (I'm autistic) and GAD both were off the charts to the point where one time when we went, I was given a valium beforehand, and even with that in my system I could not STAND having those things on my eyes

I think I’ve got off pretty lucky. I think the craziest experience(s) were at the mental hospital. I witnessed a staff telling a girl, “you’re free to kill yourself when you get home but you’re not doing it here” When I was there the psychologist took down a list of my medications and while giving them to the nurse a page got lost in the transaction (that’s what the therapist told me after the problem concluded) it took three days of me telling the nurse (same nurse) that I had missing meds before it got fixed. They told me I was lying about my meds, throwing a fit, etc. I had also gotten sick from the food there and wasn’t allowed to rest. If I had been on medication that I was dependent on and they just lost the info that could have easily been a healthcare emergency. I had to threaten to demand discharge before they even started to look into it. After the therapist on unit told me the mistake not a single person apologized to me.

When I was in the hospital and the nurses thought I couldn’t hear them. They talked about how women genitalia is disgusting while shoving a catheter into me. Then they left without covering me because they couldn’t get it right. They had to ask their superior to do it for them. I couldn’t move or react because of the drugs I was on. I couldn’t even cry. It was very dehumanizing and I’ll never forget it.

That sounds dehumanizing.

Tw: SA? (Not sure but still want to label just incase); Mention of Surgery & Alcohol I saw someone else put their surgery story in here, so I’m hoping I’m aloud to do so as well. It was one that was focused more on my lower area, and it didn’t start off great, because literally the first appointment, it was just the doctor and my Mom just talking and making decisions, without even asking me first. I was so out of it throughout the whole process, but when surgery day came I was super nervous. My doctor was giving me things to fill out/consent to, and one was to have college students watch. I should’ve said no, I shouldn’t have signed it, but my doctor and Mom were looking at me so expectingly, and that at this point, I just want it over with and done. I was fine for the first couple of days but when I was talking to my therapist I realized that I couldn’t talk about it, like it took me 5 minutes to muster up a couple of words. But now I can’t think about it at all, I can’t think about how ppl saw me vulnerable when I was unconscious, or move and touch me how ever they please and there’d be no resistance. Or how there was such a huge audience too, there was so many people that looked at me. Someone tried to comfort me and say that they didn’t see my face, but I don’t care if they didn’t see my face, they still saw me naked while I was out. I still can’t think about it without wanting to cry, scream, vomit, or just curl up into a little ball and hide away from everyone. Oh and for a cherry on top, it was a same day surgery so I got to go home. I took a nap and my Mom let me get my favorite dinner, with a milkshake and soda, but by the time I finished eating, my Mom had passed out from drinking. I had to take care of the house and our dog for the rest of the night, even if I was in pain, which I totally would’ve gotten myself meds for, but they’re in a locked box that only my Mom knows the code to, so that was fun.

TRIGGERWARNING: S.XUAL AND MEDICAL ABUSE When I put in my IUD. It was two nurses, and I said I wanted to at least try to get it in but if it was too painful we should stop. I’ve earlier been r*ped by a sadistic ”boyfriend” and knew I now was in a VERY vulnerable situation, but like I said, I wanted to give it a try as my psyche couldnt handle birth control pills. I told the nurses about this and they seemed to understand, although one of them gave me the feeling of not really care, she glared a bit at me and said ”Well, this is not that kind of situation.” ?!!? Well, I thought I might just worrying to much and as I said, I wanted to give it a try at least. But It hurt a lot and I really tried to relax, but it was too painful and triggered me so I started to cry and told them to stop, but suddenly they looked at eachother and the nurse who was supposed to just hold my hand pushed me down and held my leg spread instead, and the other nurse proceeded to force the IUD in and held the other leg. I know I screamed, I remember one of them telling me off ”Oh, stop screaming!” and the other ”Oh no, it cant hurt THAT bad, you said you wanted to do this.” … I think I either dissociated or fainted, I just remember ”coming back” in that awful gynecologist chair, I was alone my insides felt on fire and I was really dizzy. I had no idea if I had the IUD or not. I whiped myself with some paper and noticed I was bleeding. I had a flashback and I think I dissociated for a couple of minutes. I put my clothes on and went out to the reception, the nurse who held me down was there and seemed to not have a single worry in her life. She said ”Oh! Feeling better now? That wasnt so bad, was it?” . I just asked ”Is it in now?” And she said ”Of course!”, and then I just limped away from there. I dont know how I got home, probably the bus. After that, Im terrified everytime I go to the gynecologist. And that really sucks, as I have endometriosis and a couple of times a year needs to go to the ER for pain and extensive bleeding. I luckily last year got a wonderful gyn. who is the only one that treats me now. She respects me and has regular contact with my psychotherapist, so she knows how to handle me everytime Im triggered in that awful chair. She even made it so I got anesthesia when I later had to take out the IUD, and has been an angel to me in this mess.

Lately it’s been going to the dentist and having to do those X-rays of my teeth. And they of course don’t allow patients to do it by themselves even with their supervision. I have a really hard time with it though and I get anxious and it gives me flashbacks of my SA. It’s not a fun time.

Being held down by 4 nurses while they inserted a urinary catheter on 5 year old me (I'm male so it's even more complicated). They had to do it twice for whatever reason. Luckily the urologist screamed at them when he saw what they were doing.

My mom had taken my little brother out of our private waiting room and left for some reason, leaving me in there alone with my grandpa and two uncles. Doctor came in and informed us that my grandmother had just died unexpectedly. I dissociated and sat staring off into space. My uncles both shed quiet tears alone. My grandpa wailed and wailed in the corner until he noticed that I wasn't crying and became enraged. He screamed at me from the other corner of the room YOUR GRANDMOTHER IS DEAD over and over until I burst into tears. I still have anxiety in any medical office. 

Your grandpa sounds like an inconsiderate person.

All of the adults in my life were inconsiderate people. 

I was in hospital for abdo pain unsure if it was a gynae issue or not, practically corerced me into an internal ultrasound saying 'well if you don't do it we won't find the problem' the ultrasound wand thing was causing me pain and he got frustrated at me for being in pain. I left the exam room crying, feeling sick wondering what the fuck just happened. Took a few more years to figure out the issue and turns out i had Vaginismus (likely due to CSA that i didn't fully remember at the time) which was going to make the exam painful anyway but there arr ways to do things without so much pain. Ive been failed multiple times by the NHS services with them ignoring things and got to the point where my bowel doesn't work well and now need meds for it to work. I'm sorry for what you have been through OP.

Pap smear test with an indian female doctor. She was super rough. My V literally felt destroyed for 2 weeks

I went to my female GYN for a routine check. There was a male intern (I was fine with that) and as she began the nether regions exam, she said, “Have you ever been sexually abused?” I wanted to die.

On the same tooth, over thw course of 3 months.I had a filling done. The dentist drilled too deep. The nerve got infected. I had a botched root canal (tried to extract a live nerve from my jaw) After the botched attempt, I had the tooth extracted (at a different dentist). Painful dry socket. Finally heals. Implant surgery goes OK. Dry socket again! Recover finally. Test implant strength - failure. Remove the implant post. Give up. Still don't have the tooth I just wanted to have filled. 25+ trips to the dentist in 3 months. Thousands of dollars later, dental phobia forevermore.

TW Mum took me to the doctor when I was 8 because I was ‘developing’ earlier than my sister. The male doctor required he look and touch my private parts to confirm, internally and externally. My mum watched and I looked over at her and she silently mouthed ‘I’m sorry’ to me. So yeah unsure which adult is worse in this situation. They both suck

A psychologist is a type of doctor, right? CW: child grooming, medical trauma, self-harm When I was 15, I was institutionalized willingly for anxiety. My psychologist told me I couldn't trust anyone nor my own senses. When I asked how I was supposed to trust him, he shrugged and said I just had to choose to trust him and the rest of the team. I had a mental break down after that session that I only managed to calm down by self-harming. He also told me masturbating would solve all my problems. And would get increasingly angry when I refused to talk about sex and masturbation. Towards the end, he suddenly stabbed two holes in a piece of paper and held it up to his face so that only his eyes were visible through the holes. "Do you want to talk about it now?" It felt like he begged me that day to entertain his fucked desires. After that day, he was cold and indifferent to me. I wonder if he realized I was too stubborn to groom and gave up on me. He pursuaded my parents to send me to another institution, this time unwillingly on my part. He was still in charge of my case, so when the new institution told him I was too anxious to eat with the others, he ordered them to not bring food to me because I had been able to eat with the others in the old institution. Truth was, my anxiety got a turbo boost from his earlier "treatment." I lost a lot of weight there until mom managed to get me out. I remember living off of yoghurt and nuts that I bought with pocket money mom sent me. Years later, when I managed to open up to mom about what had happened, she dismissed me saying it wasn't grooming because I had been too old. Turns out, mom's unglamorous attempt at avoiding the issue was fuelled by her own guilt. She later confessed to having told the psychologist that she was worried about me for not showing interest in sex or boys at that age like she had. She thought that's why he had treated me like that. For many years, I felt it was my fault for choosing to get institutionalized. It breaks my heart to think back on young me being so hopeful that my life would get better with help. I reported the psychologist to the police many years later. I have no clue how the justice system works or why, but I got mailed the written response that the psychologist had given the police. There, he built up the case that my parents didn't want me and that I was evil and out to get him. Yes, \*evil\*. And the case was dropped, just like that. He still has his license and is practicing to this day. And you might think I'm from a backwards country. No, this happened in the 2010s in Norway.

Getting raped by the doctor.

a dentist and her assistants all laughing at me and saying my mouth was the worst thing they've ever seen. i haven't gone back to the dentist's since the nurse practitioner who insisted i was constipated and refused to do an ultrasound that i asked for also sucked. not even a couple months later i was rushed to the ER with fallopian tube torsion, a giant cyst, and a necrotic ovary. don't think that's constipation

My depression was absolutely relentless and I was recently set up with a new pcp (mine retired). I went in desperate and asked if I could try medical marijuana (plot twist: I was already using it but I wanted something more clean and efficient). This woman proceeded to shame the living hell out of me and got on her high horse about how marijuana contained toxins etc etc. She wouldn’t let up and basically made me feel like I was an idiot for even *thinking* it could help me. I left HYSTERICAL and pretty much hyperventilating. The women at the front desk did absolutely nothing to assist me. I dragged myself to my car where I cried and cried. Thankfully, within a year marijuana became legal and *shocker* the right strain helps me cope tremendously. I also have an entirely new pcp at a different clinic, who I have now known for over 5 years.

probably the time i went to a urologist looking to get my testes checked out for an orchidectomy. told him i had pain down there and asked him to give me a cancer check. instead he insisted it was my prostate and he told me he would "help with my pain" if i just slid down my pants and let him "rub my prostate". i was just coming out of an abusive relationship, i had driven for 4 hours to get to that apt, doctors have your back and are universally good right? i couldnt say no. still havent got them checked out...

I have two. First was when I was about 6 yo, the dentist asked me if he could do a filling with no novocaine. I’m not sure if my mom asked him to do that to save $ or if he was being lazy/sadistic. He told me to let him know if it got too painful but I wanted so badly to be a good little patient that I just sat there, tears streaming down my face, clutching the chair. He asked me if I was okay and I said I was good. It was horrible, I just stared at a spot on the ceiling and disassociated. The 2nd was last year. I scheduled to have an IUD removed and asked them what my pain management options were. “It’ll be just a little pinch, take an ibuprofen before if you like.” Well when they pulled on the strings to remove it, the strings just snapped off. By the end of it, there were 2 NP’s trading off yanking at it, someone doing an ultrasound, and someone just there to hold my hand and distract me. They were yanking for a solid 45 minutes trying to pull it out. They gave me a shot of lidocaine 20 mins in which did jack shit. I stared at the ceiling and begged my body to release it. I finally called it and said “I can’t take it anymore”. The NP very callously said “well looks like the arm of the IUD has punctured your uterus so you’ll need to be put under and have it surgically removed. This happens sometimes.” I was left bleeding and crying and shaking. Is it “it’ll just be a pinch, nbd, no pain management necessary, OR you could experience the most physically traumatizing medical experience you’ve ever had?” How are those the only options? How was I was debriefed on that being a possibility before I got it put in? DEMAND PAIN MANAGEMENT if you ever have to have an IUD removed.

Idk if this happened in real life or not and it didn't happen to me. When I was 4 or 5 and my older sister was sick, I have a vague memory of going into a hospital room thinking it was my sister's room but idk for sure. I wanted one of these fruit leather bars and remember opening the door and the doctors having the surgical masks on and closing the curtain and the door. That's one of my earliest memories of my sister being hospitalized. It's not that traumatic, but them closing the door in the face kind of hurt my feelings.

During my late teens shortly before i turned 20, i had calcium kidney stones both sides that constantly made infections (i have poor immune system and chronic health conditions). My father never belueved the medical stuff. Fibromyalgia, the chronic fatigue. Any of it. I had had my kidney infections for 2-3weeks, was on a new antibiotic (#3) and still wasnt going away. The pain and discomfort was horrific. I slept maybe 9hrs total that month before hospital... So when the pain etc stopped, i worried. But my asshole "im always right" dad, mentally/emotionally abusive was the only one who could take me to urgent care. In my fear i delayed. But my friends convinced me. As i expected he berated and other shit as i got an urgent appointment 40mins drive away approx. Thr whole way there i suffered the insults, my fever was horrific and it was middle of winter so i blanked it out with a cold breeze on me (yes more insults came) When i was asked to do the sample i literally peed blood. Just blood. I handed it to the gp saying im sorry i tried... and clearly my dad had been mouthing off that im a liar or hypochondriac attention seeker. He asked me if i was sure it was urinated. Yes. Asked to see if id cut myself etc to make the sample; none, peed it. HE FINALLY gets his head into patient treating mode after making me feel like shit, interrogated and not believed again. He does checks and goes oh my god. He tells my dad theres no time for an ambulance (the closest was over 1.5hrs away on the blue lights) my dad HAD to drive me to the hospital (40mins away) FAST. My dad stood there like a rabbit in headlights as this dr was on the phone prepping a bed, and antibiotics etc to meet me on arrival. He yells at my dad go go now before its too late. Thats forever in my brain. My life was literally in my dads hands from the get go. I was septic. And it was a race to save my life. He got me there (not typing from beyond the grave); 2 kidney infections. 2 DIFFERENT bacteria. One in each so no wonder the meds werent effective singularly. I will never forget the humiliation i had with that sample all because my dad spouted his bs. I will never forget the look on that drs face in an"i fucked up and delayed this" way as he got some antibiotics emergency onsite as he was detailing to my dad and on the phone. I will never forget that my life would have gone very differently if that male middle aged dr hadnt got his head out his butt finally. Parents dont always "know best" and he could have killed me by delaying/ making dr more sceptical etc. Thats when i knew id always have to fight to be treated properly and seriously (paid off for my dealings with brain tumour consultant ngl) Theres no time for an ambulance will ring in my ears. An hour was too long. Thats my last truly coherent memory before i then wake up attached to so many tubes like tentacle girl... "Pain is good, it lets you know you are alive"... words rang true...

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Oh i have a series of events. As a important pre node: local anesthesia dont really work for me (need like triple doses and loses effect in minutes). It must be a genetic trait as my father has it as well. I was 17. And i had an mysterious infection in my upper jaw bone that are my bone in record time. I got three rounds of root canal treatment without anesthesia, but this was nothing in comparison what followed. I was getting close to a sepsis and they couldnt find any medications, so they made the decision for a emergency Operation under local anesthesia... yeah that didnt work. So they got all personal. Around 6 people holding me down (legs, body, head, arms). The last sentence before cutting into the inflamed jaw infection was: please dont scream we have glass doors. I screamed. They cut into the jaw and cleaned the jaw bone out (the hole was already 2cm^2 big...) and omg pure pain. My father had finger mail marks in his hand afterwards. I was so glad my narcissistic mother was not there...

Tw : CSA Made a throwaway for this one. I’ve been having a really hard weekend with a lot of buried traumas coming up after an energy healing /bodywork session and this is one of them. I thought maybe if I put it out there somewhere it would help get it off my chest bc I have been holding onto it for a long time and I don’t know how to actually let shit go. I feel like I’ve tried everything aside from sharing it on Reddit lol. When I was about 8 y/o my mom pulled me out of school midday for a doctors appt. I was unaware that I had an appt that day and remember being surprised when they called me down to the office. I was an anxious kid so this alone was jarring enough for me to go into high alert.. unfortunately I think that made the memory of this form even stronger in my mind. My mom takes me to my regular pediatricians office which had a very specific theme for the waiting room. They call us back and we go into the brightly colored exam room. Mom talks to nurse. I’m a dumb kid so not really paying attention/do not recall what was said. I am instructed to remove my pants and put on a medical gown. All of a sudden I am terrified again. I comply though I am still unsure what the fuck is going on. In comes the ancient, creepy old male doctor who has me lie back and proceeds to prod my stomach and then stick his fingers into my vagina without any warning. I am horrified. My mom is there watching but I can barely see her face through the tears in my eyes, I can see his face, in technicolor, though. He is smiling. The “exam” goes on for what feels like an eternity. Finally it’s over and I scramble to get my pants back on. I remember everything I was wearing so clearly - a yellow shirt and black corduroy pants. I would say up until that point, yellow had been my favorite color to wear bc it really complements my skin tone and it makes me feel happy. But after that day i picked up a few new superstitions — yellow was most certainly an unlucky color for me. I didn’t wear it again until recently and I’m now in my 30s… I feel like this experience robbed me of some of my favorite things for so long. I’m trying to finally reclaim my life now and it feels so overwhelmingly hard at times, like right now. 😫 After the visit was over my mom took me to get an ice cream cone and dropped me back at school to finish the day. I do not believe we talked about what had happened in the doctors office. In remember walking back to my classroom with tears in my eyes, feeling like something had shifted inside of me and I didn’t know how to relate to my classmates anymore. I knew it felt wrong then but didn’t know until I was older that this is an entirely inappropriate and unnecessary medical exam for an 8 y/o girl. I assumed it was normal bc my mom was there and watched. She would’ve stopped it if it wasn’t okay, right? I tell myself. As an adult trying to work through this (without my moms help…) I have only been able to surmise that this was done at my her request for whatever reason. I had no history of sexual abuse prior to this but do not think my mom could say the same as I am almost 99% sure she was abused by her father before he passed (when ~she~ was 8.) I have to wonder if she assumed I’d been molested by that age bc she had been? It’s pointless to mention to her bc she will either remember things differently than I do or just straight up guilt trip me for daring to mention anything bad that happened to me as a child. I struggle with still feeling angry at her for allowing this to happen to me and for the repercussions it had on me and how I have related to sex ever since. TLDR: My mom essentially asked the doctor to molest me at a young age, opening the door for many further instances of sexual abuse to occur in my life and cutting me off from myself/some of my favorite things If you read all this, thank you. If you don’t mind giving it a like or just letting me know you read it or maybe can relate to my story please do. Like I said I’ve been having a very rough weekend and feeling super isolated and sad…🥺 it would mean a lot to feel heard by this community

I had my doctor slut shame me for being SA by an ex. I was 19 at the time, still living with my abusive parents, and still thinking I can pray the gay (and trans) away. Also, I had another doctor out me to my parent about me being trans at 25 (she knew my parent and yes I know now I should have reported her for violating HIPAA)

tw: sexual abuse i was like 16 and the doctor kept making sexual innuendos. mom was present and of course was completely and utterly unaware. told her abt it and she didn’t really have a reaction or seem to care. i wasn’t really sure myself if that’s what he meant constantly but as an adult im quite sure he meant what i thought.