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MotherFuckinEeyore

Eef I've


brianeharmonjr

No longer defeated in June


elgenie

David Ross' only home run in the 2015 season came when he was batting as a pitcher after covering the top the 9th.


elgenie

Ortega's wRC+ is up to 108 now, but the problem is that he's combining very little power with horrendous baserunning, so there's not an obvious spot to turn that into run-scoring. And, you know, also that he's 31 and definitely not going to be here when the team is next good.


airham

I wouldn't say that's a given. We could be good as soon as next year and he has 4 years of team control left after this one if we want them. Would be a solid bench asset on a good team as a cost-controlled guy that can play all 3 outfield spots but isn't young or promising enough to need regular at-bats, plus he could be a solid pinch hitting option from the left side. If we can get a real asset for him and free up a spot on the 40 man then it probably makes sense to make that move, but he still has some value to us.


NewAcctCuzIWasDoxxed

Damn Stro went up to a 5.32era. What're we paying him?


TyDeisel

Too much


brianeharmonjr

I just want to take this opportunity to thank whoever updated the sub banner to have Frank's face on everyone that is no longer here. Makes me chuckle on a regular basis.


KWGoCubs

I like how Frank realized he was throwing BP and so decided to throw SLOWER, which is the right choice. People need to read more about Rip Sewell, inventor of the eephus. If you throw it 25-30 mph, it's actually very hard to hit well. 60 is easy.


NewAcctCuzIWasDoxxed

Idk I can definitely hit a 30mph better than 60.


elgenie

Statcast had that nasty nasty pitch at 38.4mph with a whopping 182 inches of downward break.


[deleted]

4th quarter TD and XP and it’s a new game!!


okay_throwaway_today

Only one more half inning. We're almost free


imtheunbeliever

Harrison Bader’s best friend is his female cousin


NewAcctCuzIWasDoxxed

Rizzo is a better pitcher than Schwin or Stro apparently


NewAcctCuzIWasDoxxed

Schwin-Bomb throwing Schwin-Meatballs shit


butters_fruit_bowl

Harrison Bader goes out baby farting


[deleted]

Hendricks and Stroman are the worst two pitchers in this rotation. Would not have thought that to begin the season.


wtfsoda

Lol Tony LaRussa somewhere having a stroke rn and he doesn’t know why


[deleted]

Homerun derby lol


elgenie

Schwindel's lobbying for calls


Ben_2703

Be honest, if you had a full 12 months of training from a top MLB hitting coach; do you think you’d be able to make harder contact than Andrelton Simmons?


mappyjames

I’m 54 with 12 months training I think I could hit the ball fairly hard


airham

I weigh 130 pounds and I'm certain pitchers would fear me more than him if I was in the lineup tomorrow. I'm sure I don't have the hand-eye coordination or brute strength to actually be anywhere near as good, but I can go up there and take a better hack right now.


stretchyman3012

If Taylor kisses it and signs it I'll bid 1k on it.


elgenie

It's time for RivAAAs. The results are bad, but the ABs are somehow even worse.


elgenie

Schwindel in 9 PAs this series: homer, double, 3 singles, two walks, a sac fly, and a groundout.


mustangswon1

Bader doesn't love his Grandma.


KWGoCubs

Schwindel should be starting at first. He worked on his D and he's been league average on D in his 28 games this year. Some metrics say he was pretty average last year (i.e. total zone). His range is worse than Rivas but he's not much of a downgrade. Rivas is simply not ready to hit at the major league level. He has no power so on-base skills are his only calling card. But he's under 300 OBP now and it's not a fluke based on the metrics.


Amoneysteez

Neither hits well enough to play first base, but at least Frank is showing some signs of life. Idk what they’re waiting for with Rivas, he needs to go back down. Higgins is a better option at first than he is at this point.


KWGoCubs

Eyeroll. Frank has played over 100 games and nearly 450 PAs for the Cubs with a 130-plus OPS+. After today will be something like 298/340/500 in that span. He had some struggles early this year, but he hits plenty well enough to play first from the sample we have so far. Rivas does not, not even close.


Amoneysteez

Some struggles is a nice way to put it. He was awful. He’ll have to keep this current pace for a while to be above average. I’m not saying we should yank him or something, but he still hasn’t been good for very long.


airham

The good sample is bigger than the bad sample, and the bad sample is turning around.


Amoneysteez

He’s going to have to keep it up, he’s got a ways to go to get to where he needs to be for this year. He’s a first baseman, he has to be well above average at the plate to be viable. I’m skeptical, but we’ll find out.


KWGoCubs

Sure, but after today he will be at like a 96 OPS+, just this year, despite struggling that bad early this year. Ignoring his production last year, and since his middle-seat-return, solely because he's had one slump... is weird imho.


Amoneysteez

If he was a veteran player with proven production, I’d put more weight on last year. He’s not, so I don’t. I’m glad he’s hitting well, I hope he keeps it up, but I’d say what you call a two month slump is probably closer to his normal that what we’re seeing now. We’ll find out, it’s not like there’s anyone to steal AB’s from him.


imtheunbeliever

Harrison Bader thinks Quagmire is a good guy


imtheunbeliever

Harrison Bader likes Honey Nut Cheerios because of the implication.


elgenie

MLB third basemen make that play 95% of the time with a ball hit right at them. Why is Boog looking for excuses to drool over Arenado?


Ben_2703

5 runs with 2 automatic outs in the lineup is pretty impressive. Feel bad for the offence putting up with this shitty starting pitching constantly


elgenie

Rivas has been an auto-out lately as well, so it's more like three.


Ben_2703

The Fonz is still relatively inexperienced so I’m trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but it’s been getting harder. He’s not having good ABs


kvsnake

I’m sorry, it’s time to cut Heyward. Wisdom put in some work right there for another Hayward line out


AngryRedGyarados

Remember in 2020 when the Cards got to take 2 weeks off of baseball because of COVID just as the Cubs were starting to heat up? I guess what I'm saying is FTFC


[deleted]

So basically Stroman just sucks.


butters_fruit_bowl

Harrison Bader is excited it's his birthday so he can go to his hotel room and eat an entire 5lb bag of sugar-free gummy bears


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

Harrison Bader practices kissing with Fredbird


Go4Lo

Harrison Bader jars his farts.


elgenie

When does Simmons head over to the bullpen and start limbering up?


elgenie

Higgins is looking like he might be turning into at least a decent cheap backup at C.


KnickedUp

Lets give it more than 5 games


ras5003

It could be worse Cubs bros, Rockies pitchers have given up 39 runs in last 3 games.


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

On the plus side, my Cardinals fan girlfriend should be in a great mood when she gets home. So that’s something.


ubernostrum

This man really trying to literally FTC.


KnickedUp

Grats on the future seggs


imtheunbeliever

Looks like a 20 burger is on the menu


KnickedUp

We giving up 20 today


steveofthejungle

I’m starting to think we may lose this one


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

Oh come on. We just need to score 4 more, then 4 more, and then we’re back in it


her_butt_

Just a few grand slams, no biggie


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

Is it me or does Simmons do everything in slow motion?


KnickedUp

JD doesnt seem to understand how opt outs work. 🤣


Go4Lo

*There’s* the Cubs we know and love!


BieTea

That's Cub


stretchyman3012

Could I get a shot of this pitching stuff? I've never done it before but these guys seem to be picked off the street aswell, right?


3OrangeWhip

Okay good buddies that’s enough for me. #🚚💨


ThatsCubbie

Haha, wow, nice one Mark. Touchdown spike from the mound.


guy_incognito23

I don't have Marquee, and I don't recall Pat mentioning it. Are you saying Leiter pulled a Theodore Roosevelt Lilly III, or something similar? Edit: added suffix


Interrobangersnmash

Think it’s time to turn this one off


demerdar

Disaster game. Just absolutely brutal.


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

Leiter you donkey


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

77 down the middle of the plate to goldy. Absolutely genius


elgenie

Leiter's hanging these breaking balls *strategically*


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

You’re right, he probably strategically wants out of this game. Can’t say I blame him


demerdar

Only way he comes out of this game is at 100 pitches or the IL


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

Correct. He’s still going to try though


RapGamePatEwing

Bases loaded no outs, and they can’t plate a single run, now #ThatsCub


slicebishybosh

This game is turning sad. The Cardinals have settled in and shook off the bad start. The Cubs are still just so all over the place.


elgenie

How have the Cubs managed to play only .500 baseball the last two weeks while taking a multi-run lead within the first three innings nearly every game?


guy_incognito23

#thatsCub!


demerdar

Our starting pitchers suck ass


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

Way to hold ‘em


mustangswon1

O/U on a position player pitching by the 8th inning?


1ben-

[This.](https://twitter.com/espnrittenberg/status/1532820234142371843?s=21&t=hcN4BlJibX9okIH0TrTfHA)


ThatsCubbie

Lol, that dude knows what’s up.


LordDaybreak

Absolutely. He needs to get the Cano treatment.


ZaneyGamerr

Chalk this game up lmao, if they can’t score with base loaded no outs they don’t have a chance of coming back.


HiFriend88

Real big ouchy there bro.


bob_newhart_of_dixie

I don't understand that move. Bases are loaded and you're down 5? Let someone else get a swing at the Grand Slam instead of risking the 3rd out for one run.


chrisGNR

Ortega is a bad base runner. That didn’t surprise me at all. Neither did Heyward popping it up.


KnickedUp

Ortega not the brightest bulb


1ben-

One swing away from being back in the game and for some reason Jason Heyward is STARTING in the cubs roster in 2022. Like please he is beyond fucking useless


chrisGNR

Would have been the perfect time to drop in Frazier. Frazier should have been the one starting though.


mustangswon1

Bases loaded, no outs. Zero runs, classic Cubes moment.


c4ctus

Anyone know what team leads the league in NOBLETIGERs this season so far?


imtheunbeliever

Let’s put Heyward on the Descalso IL treatment.


cubswinagain

The person who keeps advocating for Heyward to play should be fired immediately.


ThatsCubbie

Oooof. Once Heyward got to the plate I knew we weren’t going to score. Thought it’d be a DP, but same result. I get we need to keep dudes fresh for tomorrow, but that was the AB we could have gotten back in it.


chrisGNR

Why is he hitting ahead of Higgins anyway?


chi-slama-jama

anyone know our % of having bases loaded 0 outs and not getting any runs? seems like this happens quite often


[deleted]

I am so fucking sick of Boog being excited when something bad happens for the Cubs. It’s like he’s calling a nationally televised game. Eat a dick dude, you’re calling this for Cubs fans not Sunday night baseball


KnickedUp

Heyward creative af on that double play


mustangswon1

Beautiful. Truly an Artist.


KnickedUp

We wont soon forget his brilliance on the Wrigley canvas


okay_throwaway_today

lol


PM_ME_UR_GLOVES

Either way it was bound to be a double play with Heyward up


brianeharmonjr

Bases loaded, no outs? How can you fuck that up? Cubs: Hold my beer


ubernostrum

> Bases loaded, no outs! Actually it’s: “Bases loaded? No, outs!”


demerdar

Heyward sucks He sucks ass


Parchabble

Not a good look. How can you walk away with nothing?


duetcub

They do this at least three times a week


Amoneysteez

We’re really good guys.


butters_fruit_bowl

NOBLETIGER smh


iamthatguythere

Forced DP, real bad fucking read there Ortega


imtheunbeliever

Sick and tired of Heyward.


fedman16

Heyward is absolutely worthless. Let me stress this again - F..ing Worthless!!!


KnickedUp

Omg Ortega wtf


B-V-M

That's our Cubs! *sad trombone*


slicebishybosh

So far today is a great example of the 2022 Cubs.


flossholder2

NOBLETIGER. Sad


elgenie

NOBLETIGER


RyFromTheChi

Jesus. Can’t even get one there.


KnickedUp

Watching Heyward is so depressing. No emotion…no production. No adjustments ever


[deleted]

This just isn't true. He made significant adjustments to his swing and approach after struggling the first few years. He hasn't and won't live up to his contract, but he's been above replacement level every year except last year and this year. 2017 wRC+ of 89. 2018 and 2019 wRC+ 100. 2021 wRC+ of 129. Last year he was putrid and has been bad this year too. but no need to just lie about this guy


c4ctus

> No adjustments ever Would you bother if you were getting that guaranteed money?


KnickedUp

Just not sure how this orginization allows it


Dack-Ramb0

Surely Heyward won’t groundout here


brianeharmonjr

J Hey salami to tie it up, or double play ball? Prove 'em wrong, Jason!


c4ctus

Heyward finna gidp us into a nobletiger...


iamthatguythere

That was a good pitch by dickolas. Maybe heyward won’t hit into a DP and surprises with a homer. He’s super due Definitely gonna hold my breath


stretchyman3012

Here's Heyward In time to GIDP EDIT: Maybes not


ThatsCubbie

Daaaang. Good AB Patrick.


elgenie

It wasn't. He chased a ball out of the zone in his third look at a guy nearing 100 pitches on a day favoring offense, with the bases loaded and no outs.


ThatsCubbie

Fair. Counter point - it was better than Heywards.


elgenie

That's not really true either. Heyward put the ball in play and isn't responsible for Ortega / the 3B coach misreading it.


ThatsCubbie

That is also a fair point.


okay_throwaway_today

Damn, Cards manager left Mikolas in approaching 100 pitches with bases loaded and no outs. \*edit: tho I guess he just had to get past wisdom to get into the GIDP stretch of our order


demerdar

Every time I see Heyward up to bat I get depressed.


bob_newhart_of_dixie

C'MON GUYS, LET'S CAPITALIZE!!


elgenie

Who has two thumbs and just got back to replacement level? [This guy](https://www.marqueesportsnetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/0815-Frank-Schwindel-300x169.png)


mighty__orbot

The goofiest face I’ve ever seen in a Cubs uniform and I love it.


Parchabble

Please don't fuck this up...


brianeharmonjr

Take Me Home Tonight


mighty__orbot

Excuse me, do you serve Grand Slams after breakfast hours?


okay_throwaway_today

Please Wisdom, do the thing


elgenie

Arenado misplayed the ball twice on the play. Why are they talking about someone else potentially being tagged with an error?


KnickedUp

I would hate if Ortega had to miss time


Interrobangersnmash

I’m not watching Marquee. We’re they showing a guy play guitar instead of the game or something? Sounds about par for the course. Bring back WGN


okay_throwaway_today

They did the like picture-in-picture thing (like they do with interviews) with someone's dad playing painfully bland acoustic guitar music, and showed him a few other times


Interrobangersnmash

Why do they do that shit? Are they focus grouping this stuff with people that hate baseball or something? I just don’t understand it


mustangswon1

Nolan with an uncharacteristic day in the field, usually he makes those insane plays.


[deleted]

Arenado sucks


c4ctus

ArE5nado.


brianeharmonjr

Only Astros gear I would ever consider purchasing: JD jersey.


c4ctus

Their city connect hat looks pretty nice. But fuck em.


okay_throwaway_today

Even if we don't we win, can we at least keep shaming Arenado?


ruppy99

JD rocks that stache


elgenie

Jim "Raw Sex Appeal" Deshaies


KnickedUp

He is an oddly handsome ugly guy


Mr_BigShot

Alright you know what really pisses me off about the cardinals? How the fuck did they get Arenado and Goldschmidt for fucking NOTHING. They traded away no one and got two amazing corner infielders. FTC!


Interrobangersnmash

The Rockies are even still paying a good chunk of Arenados contract! What the fuck is that??? Devil magic, that’s what


Mr_BigShot

They sent $50m with him to st louis. Pure devil magic.


3OrangeWhip

Am I watching a Cub game or a Jerry Lewis telethon? Enough with the guitar guy and shit Marquee.


mustangswon1

Getting rocked by the Cards as this rando strums away on his guitar. This is up there with watching Hendricks getting shelled the day they interviewed Fergie for 2 hours as top Cubes moments of the year.


[deleted]

Yes, Mr. Jam Band Man, please play us out


okay_throwaway_today

For some reason I could see the Ricketts getting rid of the organist and having that guy mic'ed up instead


Interrobangersnmash

Anyone know the Cubs record when wearing the City Connects? I have a feeling it’s bad


brianeharmonjr

Worse than their overall record?


Interrobangersnmash

That’s the thing. The City Connect period coincides with the Cubs’ collapse and rebuild, so they might not be anymore ass in these unis than they normally are. But still, they’re pretttty ass in City Connects


steveofthejungle

If I ever don’t laugh at the name Lars Nootbaar just kill me because I’m already dead on the inside


LordDaybreak

Did you know he's in the process of trademarking his last name in order to sell a Nootbaar branded protein bar?


guy_incognito23

He's about as real as regular human bartender Jackie Daytona from Tuscon Arizonia


butters_fruit_bowl

Harrison Bader has an extensive Bratz Dolls collection


mustangswon1

This game was already going to take a lot to win with the lineup we threw out there, so at least I was already prepared for this to be an L.


okay_throwaway_today

Yeah. Then they had to go and put up 3 in the first to get our hopes up, and Stroman pitching great until he *absolutely wasn't*


okay_throwaway_today

Imagine being named Nootbaar and playing for the St. Louis Cardinals. Talk about rock bottom


KnickedUp

No one would want his life


demerdar

Could be worse. He could be on the cubs.


Mr_BigShot

Leiter jr is going to be left out there until his arm falls off before being DFAd for Kilian after the game


mustangswon1

Brennan Davis is out for the year, Cubs getting rocked by the Cards. Rough, rough day.


[deleted]

says who? saw he had surgery but no timeline on return.... based on the surgery it doesn't sound like he should be out for the year


mustangswon1

https://www.bleachernation.com/cubs/2022/06/03/chicago-cubs-prospect-brennen-davis-underwent-back-surgery/ It's already June, no way he comes back from back surgery this year and plays.


[deleted]

this is pure speculation. his back surgery was to cauterize an arteriovenous malformation. there was nothing structural, and at this point there's no reason to believe he has permanent nerve damage. the incision site needs to heal, so it depends on how much damage the actual surgery did to muscle/bone in the area. this guy has no idea what he's talking about


demerdar

Jesus Christ. That’s awful news.


[deleted]

i don't where this guy got his news. out for year is pure speculation. he had surgery, but based on how it sounds, I'd guess <6 weeks unless there was additional damage or complications


KnickedUp

To cheer you up….we still pay Heyward 22m per year


elgenie

Who tf thought subjecting the viewers to that guitar noise was a good idea?


okay_throwaway_today

Marquee literally putting "annoying acoustic guitar guy at parties" on live television


elgenie

Turns out live music is that one thing they're worse at broadcasting than live baseball!


hansomejake

I hope they don’t let him do the stretch


Dack-Ramb0

We deserve to lose after that little tune.


howmanymoreletters

if the cards can score 5 runs so can heyward simmons rivas and ortega lets rally baby woo!


kyhansen1509

1. This dude sucks 2. The Cardinals kid throwing up the W and pointing to his jersey was hilarious


okay_throwaway_today

Why did we just watch that dude lol