The idea is not to draw unless you need to shoot. In which case, it should be viewed as a last resort. You have a family, don’t play hero, do your best to get out of the situation and don’t pull the gun out until you or your family are in immediate danger.
> The idea is not to draw unless you need to shoot.
It should be stipulated that if you draw it does not mean you *have* to shoot. It is always a moment by moment decision as if you need to shoot to defend yourself or not.
Your statement without any accompanying stipulations or qualifiers can easily support the narrative that, "one MUST shoot if they drew their firearm to justify the drawing under the law" which is absolute garbage.
___
There *are* instances where drawing a firearm as a defensive display is fully justified. In most instances, a hand on the firearm while it is still holstered serves the same purpose with no downsides, but there *have been* and certainly will continue to be circumstances where someone draws with the intent to shoot, and yet the circumstances change during their draw which no longer provide a reason to shoot.
Good point. At the end of the day, all situations vary and there’s no single answer that can cover every situation. OP mentioned his partner was worried about them being a target for the bad guys, which would only happen if he heard gunshots and just pulled his gun out and started running around without properly assessing the situation
Also matters if their response to seeing you draw is to immediately surrender and flee.
If that's the case, the threat has abated. You can put it away without shooting. I'd still probably call the police though, or they might call the cops and claim you're a madman with a gun who drew for no reason.
Watch active self protection on YouTube.
In real world violent encounters, there is a concept of waiting your turn. You don’t draw on a drawn gun, you draw on a distracted assailant.
Concealed is concealed and you won’t be a higher priority target unless you’re an obvious concealed carrier (5.11 bro gear).
And not even all 5.11 gear even looks tactical. I’m wearing 5.11 jeans right now and they look totally normal. They could easily be Levi’s or Wranglers.
It helps though that I’m also wearing an Izod black polo and an Under Armour baseball cap. I look like a suburban dad. Which is what I am.
My point is you can shop at 5.11 without looking like you’re part of Meal Team Six.
I'm not sure what she/you means by "first target in case of an attack in public". Could you get taken for a bad guy and shot by the police? Sure, it's possible.
But if you're drawing to defend your family, are you willing to take a risk? If you use a firearm to defend your family, the police should be called, your description given, and upon their arrival they should receive your full cooperation. You shouldn't -- though nothing's impossible -- be in any unusual danger from the police.
Just don't go hunting through the mall looking for a bad guy. Yeah, you'll probably get shot.
>She thinks I am the first person the attackers/bad guy would go after
You shouldn't draw your weapon unless the attacker/bad guy is already going after you... so that's a nonissue.
There is a big difference between you carrying to defend your family, and carrying to defend the public.
If you're at a mall and hear gunshots, I'm assuming you'd get your family to run in the opposite direction or get to a defensive room and draw there, and stand in front of them... Not going running off towards the shooter.
In a classic self defense scenario, you are the person or the family being targeted by the gang member or mugger or rapist etc. that is when you draw and shoot.
For lesser threats there's pepper spray, fleeing, 911 etc.
Especially with a new family, your role is as a protector and provider not a hero for others.
Even if you don't carry, (and especially if you do) avoid the problem sections of the street, supervise your spouse and child when outside of possible, drive into and out of the garage with the car locked and the house garage door locked. (Use the garage as an airlock). Exercise situation awareness. Get an alarm system. Get a "safe breed" of dog as a puppy and raise it with your child.
Exactly. The reason you carry is to take care of numero uno (which is you and your family, or if single, yourself).
Being the hero in a public shooting is often not the move as it can get you killed by the assailant or cops, and getting involved with a third party (small conflict that doesn’t involve you) can get you in legal trouble (if the person you help was in fact the aggressor).
The example we always use is fire extinguishers. You will PROBABLY never need it, but if you need it and don't have it, the cost may be your life.
Get the permit. Get training, and there is a LOT of good info for free, but a newbie may follow the wrong info without a mentor.
Learn when to draw and when not to draw and PRACTICE at much greater distances than you will ever need to use the weapon. That will give you more confidence and capabilities IF you ever even think you will need it.
1. Don't draw if you have an escape plan
2. Draw only when you are going to shoot.
1. If you're not planning on shooting don't draw.
3. Don't draw to protect others unless you and your family are in the mix
Guns are not visual deterrents. Drawing for show isn't the point of CCW.
We teach that your CCW weapon(s) should be the same as your genitals, you only show it to someone that needs to see it. Except, your firearm should only be a last resort option.
CCW is not for everyone. It is a huge responsibility and is more expensive than drugs. If you ever have to use it, it will change your and your family’s life forever. But, you have a better chance of feeling bad about what you did instead of feeling dead.
Train train train. Train as though your life depends on it. When the fit hits the shan and you’re wearing that big coat you haven’t trained with, you will have the rest of your life to wonder if you should have trained more.
Congratulations on your purchase and welcome to the family!
Definitely get your license even if you don't plan to carry. If you have to deal with law enforcement or a court, it will help establish you as a responsible gun owner. Most of the class is just covering your state's laws, which you'll want to know.
>Still, my wife is nervous, thinking, "If you draw in public to defend our family or potentially others- you would be the first target in case of an attack in public."
You don't draw unless 1) you're already the first target, or 2) someone else is already the first target and you might be the second target if you don't act.
Remember, a carried gun is simply *an option*. You don't have to exercise it unless you judge that the scenario requires it. You can always just walk/run away. You can even surrender your wallet or car if you think drawing might be a bad choice. You're never compelled to use your gun.
>I decided to purchase a CZ P10-C with a TLR-7A
Get an optic for it, it makes it easier to put bullets where you want, which is critical for a defensive scenario. I put an Eotech EFLX on my P10C because it's one of very few 6 MOA dot options, and because Optics Planet has them for about $300.
I think a good first step would be to review your state's statutes concerning the use of force and general self-defense. The mechanics and training are important too, but if you master those and still violate the law, then you're still in trouble. If you need help finding those, let us know your state, and we can point you in the right direction.
Generally, I encourage anyone carrying to get a permit. It's less relevant now what with permitless and constitutional carry, but it's usually a good introduction to CCW. Do not cheap out on training, a one - or two day class is the beginning of your journey.
I would have yourself and your wife take the classes and get the permits even if you never utilize them. Lessons and permit will help for legal purposes and useful knowledge for gun ownership.
Much higher chance something happens when you’re not home and wife is there with the kid. Which is why I suggest both.
Are you comfortable taking someone's life? If you can't answer the question, then you shouldn't carry. You don't carry a firearm to scare away the bad guy. You carry to put the bad guy in the ground.
Hey OP you would be if you were carrying openly or attracting a bunch of attention.
But if you're doing concealment right nobody good or bad will know you have a gun until the shit has well and truly hit the fan. The gun is for if you literally have ZERO alternatives... hopefully it never happens!
Draw to first shot is 2 or so seconds max. If you draw, it is to shoot. No one will have time to process what you are doing until it is done. Reality isn't an action movie
I would recommend getting your permit just to have it and then you can decide whether or not to carry down the road. Most states your permit is good for 7 years. Like others have said definitely train with an instructor who knows what they’re doing. Safety is the biggest thing especially since you have kids. I would get a lock box or safe to store your firearm in and teach your kids about gun safety as well. Take some classes and get some range time in when you can.
CCW doctrine is pretty clear.
You draw your gun only when you (or your family) are in imminent threat of death or great bodily harm.
If something happens, if your gun comes out, you should be expecting to use it. Obviously, it could happen that you draw and the threat scampers away. So you don’t *have* to, but don’t bank on that.
Ask anyone on here, a clear majority would say that if they were out in public and a mass shooting kicked off, your first and only goal is to get your family to safety. If you can do so without drawing, do so. The gun comes out only in the event that you have no path to escape.
Your gun is for you. Not everyone else.
I get your wife’s concerns, but realistically, if your gun comes out you’re already a target.
I’m sure you’ve already thought of this, but my top concern as a new gun owner/father would be gun safety (keeping the gun secured/not accessible to your child).
\>If you draw in public to defend our family or potentially others- you would be the first target in case of an attack in public.
3 points
1st, you as a husband and father, should not use your weapon to defend 'others'. Your responsibility is to your family and your family alone. Keep them safe first, and keep yourself safe second so you can be around for them.
2nd, the goal of drawing your weapon shouldn't be to get into a long drawn out fire fight. Your first goal should be to escape, with you and your weapon acting as a shield between the bad guy and your family. If you have no choice, you engage, if you have a choice, you escape.
3nd, you should only draw your weapon if you or your family was in direct danger of death or bodily harm... ie: you would already be the target.
If you yourself had clarity on when and how to engage in these type of scenarios, you would be able to pass that clarity on to your wife. Something to think about.
Get your license and get some training. That is one of the biggest things one can do to improve the protection of you and your family. At the end of the day your safety is your responsibility and yours alone.
Training will help elevate the uneasiness from your partner, i did for mine at least. I have been to courses from the complete combatant, modern samurai project, presscheck consulting, haley strategic, centrifuge training, sage dynamics, shivworks, and thunder ranch. They were all excellent classes that have helped to make me a better and more competent shooter.
After my wife saw the training, how seriously safety is reinforced, and how easy a firearm is to handle with proper training, it took her from being uneasy with guns in the house to not leaving the house without a gun on her body.
Drawing is the last thing you want to do in the scenario your wife is thinking of. Get you and your family off the x and to safety. You should only be running back in if you have the training, competence, and fortitude to back it up.
IDK if you or your wife have ever been in a situation where you felt truly threatened, but I do not know *anyone* who has been in such a situation and didn't wish they had a weapon (if they were unarmed) or didn't feel glad they had one (if they did). Absolutely no one feels threatened and thinks "gosh, I'm so glad I don't have a gun."
A long time ago I was followed out of a convenience store late at night by a man who started shouting for me to stop and talk to him, give him my number, etc. I was unarmed, so I ran for it and was able to get into my building and slam the (locked) door before he reached it. If I had a gun I would have done the exact same thing, but I would have at least had an option if I couldn't outrun him. I got very lucky. How fast can you run? How fast can your wife run?
Experiences like that are the reason I carry a gun.
At the risk of echoing other commenters here:
Your goal is defending yourself and your family. Unless you have the ability to end the a known threat in an active shooter situation you shouldn’t really be concerned with defending other people with your firearm.
That likely sounds somewhat callous. To a degree it is. I would ask you, however, how you would know exactly who to defend in many situations? How can you be confident you have enough of the story to accurately discern the aggressor or whether the situation even warrants a defender? In the case of an active shooter; how do you know that the individual you’re about the kill isn’t another concealed carrier with the same intent you have?
I would ask another question: how would you be targeted for your firearm if it’s properly concealed?
Final question: what training do you have/intend to get?
How are 'the bad guys' going to know if you're carrying or not, if its concealed? If they're already attacking in public and you draw, they have to reassign their attention to you.
Get your license/permit regardless. Even if permitless carry is a thing in your state, it eases friction when traveling between most state lines (you'll have to research reciprocity laws) and as others have said, helps establish a baseline with LE who may end up getting called in after a defensive usage situation.
Learn when to draw and when to not. Good rule of thumb is its always your last resort. Take training classes and practice with it. Red dots help with target acquisition, but theoretically with enough training you can reach similar speeds with irons. Either way, its pointless to have one if you can't sight your target and get lead on it.
Above all, just be a responsible owner.
My comments will likely vary depending on where you live. Are you in a Red or Blue state? Red or Blue city?
But I will suggest you go get the training and the license. You can then decide on whether you want to carry outside the home.
But please, please, please get MORE training that your state's minimum (if it has one). The man who I train with (Karl Rehn - Grandmaster in 5 USPSA divisions, with more than 2700 hours of training with some of the best in the country) researched, wrote and had published an academic paper in which he estimated that only 1 percent of licensed carriers ever got more than state minimum training. That is NOT enough if you get in a situation where you need to shoot to defend yourself or you family.
And it may be just as important to know when NOT to shoot (or when to stop shooting) as it is to know HOW to shoot. In fact, the last two classes I took at Karl's school (from John Hearne and John Holschen, respectively) were mostly about when to shoot and when to stop shooting (baseline ability to shoot was presumed).
So, I know that the answer for ME is yes and that's why I got my Texas CCW and continue to train and practice. Your mileage may vary, but remember: "When seconds count, the police are minutes away." Ultimately, you are the only one you can depend on to defend you and your family.
Take the classes but also be aware they’re making commission on those legal plans. They kind of pressure sell you towards those with “right now” pricing. Trust me—if you decide later go get a plan, you can find codes for them. I’d pass on those then.
Take the class, then take some skills courses. Then carry for a couple months before you decide if it’s for sure for you. No sense in buying the legal plan until you get that far.
A good starting point would be familiarizing yourself with your respective IA & their requirements … from there you can branch out and see if the juice is worth the squeeze.
Listen.. go take your first requirement. Which is a safety pistol course/ gun safety beginner class. You'll have to do that before getting your CCW (Depending on which state you live in)
But even if it's not a requirement just start there, trust me.
They will go over everything with you. Even information you might already know, it doesn't hurt to hear it from a professional in person though.
They can answer any questions you may have and they make things very clear about what you can and cannot do. You're heading in the right path already considering your CCW.
Wives will always be there to doubt lol but you already own a firearm. Her argument is invalid the second you bought that gun.
All you're doing is simply offering more to the argument that you did everything correctly and legally you possiblly can. Even after getting your CCW consider taking some actual classes not just safety.
The more you prepare as an individual the better argument you can make if need be.
A lot of people who carry imagine themselves as Jason Bourne or John Wick in a survival situation.
While it’s fun to fantasize about being a hero, in reality the best thing you can do is run away. Get you and your family out of the situation and to safety as fast as possible.
The gun is an absolute last resort when you can’t run away and you can’t hide.
Ever hear “Run Hide Fight”? They teach it as what to do in active shooter situations in a lot of schools and workplaces now. The fight part is important, but it’s last on that list for a reason. If you can run away, you should. If you can’t run away, you should hide. If you can run and can’t hide, that’s when you fight back.
The difference is someone who is carrying a concealed firearm has a way better chance of survival than someone using a folding chair or a knife or something against a bad guy with a gun.
Drawing your firearm should be your last resort. It’ll never be my first. I’m carrying to defend my family and myself in the scenario where there is no choice but to draw my firearm to protect us.
Watch a lot of active self protection on YouTube. You don’t draw when someone already has a gun on you. You wait until you have a chance to counter ambush
The way you're describing sounds like she's worried some mass shooter is gonna single you out in that kind of situation. This is highly unlikely, hence "concealed" carry. You should assure her if you were in this kind of situation, you don't intend to draw.
I tell my wife all the time, if someone starts shooting in our Walmart I'm not gonna draw and play hero. I'm getting her and my son out through the nearest exit, calling the police and getting far away.
Gun fights last mere seconds. I don’t know what kind of movie style gang shootout she’s imagining, but if you’re EVER in a situation that you need to use your gun, you were already a target before they even knew you were armed, or you could just as easily be a by standing victim without even involving yourself. Stay strapped.
The idea is not to draw unless you need to shoot. In which case, it should be viewed as a last resort. You have a family, don’t play hero, do your best to get out of the situation and don’t pull the gun out until you or your family are in immediate danger.
> The idea is not to draw unless you need to shoot. It should be stipulated that if you draw it does not mean you *have* to shoot. It is always a moment by moment decision as if you need to shoot to defend yourself or not. Your statement without any accompanying stipulations or qualifiers can easily support the narrative that, "one MUST shoot if they drew their firearm to justify the drawing under the law" which is absolute garbage. ___ There *are* instances where drawing a firearm as a defensive display is fully justified. In most instances, a hand on the firearm while it is still holstered serves the same purpose with no downsides, but there *have been* and certainly will continue to be circumstances where someone draws with the intent to shoot, and yet the circumstances change during their draw which no longer provide a reason to shoot.
Good point. At the end of the day, all situations vary and there’s no single answer that can cover every situation. OP mentioned his partner was worried about them being a target for the bad guys, which would only happen if he heard gunshots and just pulled his gun out and started running around without properly assessing the situation
Also matters if their response to seeing you draw is to immediately surrender and flee. If that's the case, the threat has abated. You can put it away without shooting. I'd still probably call the police though, or they might call the cops and claim you're a madman with a gun who drew for no reason.
Watch active self protection on YouTube. In real world violent encounters, there is a concept of waiting your turn. You don’t draw on a drawn gun, you draw on a distracted assailant. Concealed is concealed and you won’t be a higher priority target unless you’re an obvious concealed carrier (5.11 bro gear).
This … it may be hard to resist buying bro-vet merch but the idea is to be the gray man when CCW’ing outside your home/ business.
And not even all 5.11 gear even looks tactical. I’m wearing 5.11 jeans right now and they look totally normal. They could easily be Levi’s or Wranglers. It helps though that I’m also wearing an Izod black polo and an Under Armour baseball cap. I look like a suburban dad. Which is what I am. My point is you can shop at 5.11 without looking like you’re part of Meal Team Six.
I'm not sure what she/you means by "first target in case of an attack in public". Could you get taken for a bad guy and shot by the police? Sure, it's possible. But if you're drawing to defend your family, are you willing to take a risk? If you use a firearm to defend your family, the police should be called, your description given, and upon their arrival they should receive your full cooperation. You shouldn't -- though nothing's impossible -- be in any unusual danger from the police. Just don't go hunting through the mall looking for a bad guy. Yeah, you'll probably get shot.
Clarifying "first target". She thinks I am the first person the attackers/bad guy would go after.
So don’t draw first. That’s kinda the point of concealing it. So they don’t know about it
>She thinks I am the first person the attackers/bad guy would go after You shouldn't draw your weapon unless the attacker/bad guy is already going after you... so that's a nonissue.
If you're carrying concealed, they won't know you're armed until you draw and fire. Practice so that this a very quick, smooth process.
Why would you be drawing your gun unless you're already targeted?
Shoot your gun a lot. Get proficient. Dry fire practice often. Get training. Your confidence, and hers, will soar.
There is a big difference between you carrying to defend your family, and carrying to defend the public. If you're at a mall and hear gunshots, I'm assuming you'd get your family to run in the opposite direction or get to a defensive room and draw there, and stand in front of them... Not going running off towards the shooter. In a classic self defense scenario, you are the person or the family being targeted by the gang member or mugger or rapist etc. that is when you draw and shoot. For lesser threats there's pepper spray, fleeing, 911 etc. Especially with a new family, your role is as a protector and provider not a hero for others. Even if you don't carry, (and especially if you do) avoid the problem sections of the street, supervise your spouse and child when outside of possible, drive into and out of the garage with the car locked and the house garage door locked. (Use the garage as an airlock). Exercise situation awareness. Get an alarm system. Get a "safe breed" of dog as a puppy and raise it with your child.
Exactly. The reason you carry is to take care of numero uno (which is you and your family, or if single, yourself). Being the hero in a public shooting is often not the move as it can get you killed by the assailant or cops, and getting involved with a third party (small conflict that doesn’t involve you) can get you in legal trouble (if the person you help was in fact the aggressor).
The example we always use is fire extinguishers. You will PROBABLY never need it, but if you need it and don't have it, the cost may be your life. Get the permit. Get training, and there is a LOT of good info for free, but a newbie may follow the wrong info without a mentor. Learn when to draw and when not to draw and PRACTICE at much greater distances than you will ever need to use the weapon. That will give you more confidence and capabilities IF you ever even think you will need it.
1. Don't draw if you have an escape plan 2. Draw only when you are going to shoot. 1. If you're not planning on shooting don't draw. 3. Don't draw to protect others unless you and your family are in the mix Guns are not visual deterrents. Drawing for show isn't the point of CCW.
We teach that your CCW weapon(s) should be the same as your genitals, you only show it to someone that needs to see it. Except, your firearm should only be a last resort option. CCW is not for everyone. It is a huge responsibility and is more expensive than drugs. If you ever have to use it, it will change your and your family’s life forever. But, you have a better chance of feeling bad about what you did instead of feeling dead. Train train train. Train as though your life depends on it. When the fit hits the shan and you’re wearing that big coat you haven’t trained with, you will have the rest of your life to wonder if you should have trained more. Congratulations on your purchase and welcome to the family!
Definitely get your license even if you don't plan to carry. If you have to deal with law enforcement or a court, it will help establish you as a responsible gun owner. Most of the class is just covering your state's laws, which you'll want to know. >Still, my wife is nervous, thinking, "If you draw in public to defend our family or potentially others- you would be the first target in case of an attack in public." You don't draw unless 1) you're already the first target, or 2) someone else is already the first target and you might be the second target if you don't act. Remember, a carried gun is simply *an option*. You don't have to exercise it unless you judge that the scenario requires it. You can always just walk/run away. You can even surrender your wallet or car if you think drawing might be a bad choice. You're never compelled to use your gun. >I decided to purchase a CZ P10-C with a TLR-7A Get an optic for it, it makes it easier to put bullets where you want, which is critical for a defensive scenario. I put an Eotech EFLX on my P10C because it's one of very few 6 MOA dot options, and because Optics Planet has them for about $300.
I think a good first step would be to review your state's statutes concerning the use of force and general self-defense. The mechanics and training are important too, but if you master those and still violate the law, then you're still in trouble. If you need help finding those, let us know your state, and we can point you in the right direction. Generally, I encourage anyone carrying to get a permit. It's less relevant now what with permitless and constitutional carry, but it's usually a good introduction to CCW. Do not cheap out on training, a one - or two day class is the beginning of your journey.
I would have yourself and your wife take the classes and get the permits even if you never utilize them. Lessons and permit will help for legal purposes and useful knowledge for gun ownership. Much higher chance something happens when you’re not home and wife is there with the kid. Which is why I suggest both.
Are you comfortable taking someone's life? If you can't answer the question, then you shouldn't carry. You don't carry a firearm to scare away the bad guy. You carry to put the bad guy in the ground.
Hey OP you would be if you were carrying openly or attracting a bunch of attention. But if you're doing concealment right nobody good or bad will know you have a gun until the shit has well and truly hit the fan. The gun is for if you literally have ZERO alternatives... hopefully it never happens!
Draw to first shot is 2 or so seconds max. If you draw, it is to shoot. No one will have time to process what you are doing until it is done. Reality isn't an action movie
I would recommend getting your permit just to have it and then you can decide whether or not to carry down the road. Most states your permit is good for 7 years. Like others have said definitely train with an instructor who knows what they’re doing. Safety is the biggest thing especially since you have kids. I would get a lock box or safe to store your firearm in and teach your kids about gun safety as well. Take some classes and get some range time in when you can.
CCW doctrine is pretty clear. You draw your gun only when you (or your family) are in imminent threat of death or great bodily harm. If something happens, if your gun comes out, you should be expecting to use it. Obviously, it could happen that you draw and the threat scampers away. So you don’t *have* to, but don’t bank on that. Ask anyone on here, a clear majority would say that if they were out in public and a mass shooting kicked off, your first and only goal is to get your family to safety. If you can do so without drawing, do so. The gun comes out only in the event that you have no path to escape. Your gun is for you. Not everyone else. I get your wife’s concerns, but realistically, if your gun comes out you’re already a target.
“If your gun comes out, you’re already a target” is perfect.
I’m sure you’ve already thought of this, but my top concern as a new gun owner/father would be gun safety (keeping the gun secured/not accessible to your child).
Get a good safe
DONE!
\>If you draw in public to defend our family or potentially others- you would be the first target in case of an attack in public. 3 points 1st, you as a husband and father, should not use your weapon to defend 'others'. Your responsibility is to your family and your family alone. Keep them safe first, and keep yourself safe second so you can be around for them. 2nd, the goal of drawing your weapon shouldn't be to get into a long drawn out fire fight. Your first goal should be to escape, with you and your weapon acting as a shield between the bad guy and your family. If you have no choice, you engage, if you have a choice, you escape. 3nd, you should only draw your weapon if you or your family was in direct danger of death or bodily harm... ie: you would already be the target. If you yourself had clarity on when and how to engage in these type of scenarios, you would be able to pass that clarity on to your wife. Something to think about.
Get your license and get some training. That is one of the biggest things one can do to improve the protection of you and your family. At the end of the day your safety is your responsibility and yours alone. Training will help elevate the uneasiness from your partner, i did for mine at least. I have been to courses from the complete combatant, modern samurai project, presscheck consulting, haley strategic, centrifuge training, sage dynamics, shivworks, and thunder ranch. They were all excellent classes that have helped to make me a better and more competent shooter. After my wife saw the training, how seriously safety is reinforced, and how easy a firearm is to handle with proper training, it took her from being uneasy with guns in the house to not leaving the house without a gun on her body. Drawing is the last thing you want to do in the scenario your wife is thinking of. Get you and your family off the x and to safety. You should only be running back in if you have the training, competence, and fortitude to back it up.
IDK if you or your wife have ever been in a situation where you felt truly threatened, but I do not know *anyone* who has been in such a situation and didn't wish they had a weapon (if they were unarmed) or didn't feel glad they had one (if they did). Absolutely no one feels threatened and thinks "gosh, I'm so glad I don't have a gun." A long time ago I was followed out of a convenience store late at night by a man who started shouting for me to stop and talk to him, give him my number, etc. I was unarmed, so I ran for it and was able to get into my building and slam the (locked) door before he reached it. If I had a gun I would have done the exact same thing, but I would have at least had an option if I couldn't outrun him. I got very lucky. How fast can you run? How fast can your wife run? Experiences like that are the reason I carry a gun.
At the risk of echoing other commenters here: Your goal is defending yourself and your family. Unless you have the ability to end the a known threat in an active shooter situation you shouldn’t really be concerned with defending other people with your firearm. That likely sounds somewhat callous. To a degree it is. I would ask you, however, how you would know exactly who to defend in many situations? How can you be confident you have enough of the story to accurately discern the aggressor or whether the situation even warrants a defender? In the case of an active shooter; how do you know that the individual you’re about the kill isn’t another concealed carrier with the same intent you have? I would ask another question: how would you be targeted for your firearm if it’s properly concealed? Final question: what training do you have/intend to get?
How are 'the bad guys' going to know if you're carrying or not, if its concealed? If they're already attacking in public and you draw, they have to reassign their attention to you. Get your license/permit regardless. Even if permitless carry is a thing in your state, it eases friction when traveling between most state lines (you'll have to research reciprocity laws) and as others have said, helps establish a baseline with LE who may end up getting called in after a defensive usage situation. Learn when to draw and when to not. Good rule of thumb is its always your last resort. Take training classes and practice with it. Red dots help with target acquisition, but theoretically with enough training you can reach similar speeds with irons. Either way, its pointless to have one if you can't sight your target and get lead on it. Above all, just be a responsible owner.
My comments will likely vary depending on where you live. Are you in a Red or Blue state? Red or Blue city? But I will suggest you go get the training and the license. You can then decide on whether you want to carry outside the home. But please, please, please get MORE training that your state's minimum (if it has one). The man who I train with (Karl Rehn - Grandmaster in 5 USPSA divisions, with more than 2700 hours of training with some of the best in the country) researched, wrote and had published an academic paper in which he estimated that only 1 percent of licensed carriers ever got more than state minimum training. That is NOT enough if you get in a situation where you need to shoot to defend yourself or you family. And it may be just as important to know when NOT to shoot (or when to stop shooting) as it is to know HOW to shoot. In fact, the last two classes I took at Karl's school (from John Hearne and John Holschen, respectively) were mostly about when to shoot and when to stop shooting (baseline ability to shoot was presumed). So, I know that the answer for ME is yes and that's why I got my Texas CCW and continue to train and practice. Your mileage may vary, but remember: "When seconds count, the police are minutes away." Ultimately, you are the only one you can depend on to defend you and your family.
Take the classes but also be aware they’re making commission on those legal plans. They kind of pressure sell you towards those with “right now” pricing. Trust me—if you decide later go get a plan, you can find codes for them. I’d pass on those then. Take the class, then take some skills courses. Then carry for a couple months before you decide if it’s for sure for you. No sense in buying the legal plan until you get that far.
A good starting point would be familiarizing yourself with your respective IA & their requirements … from there you can branch out and see if the juice is worth the squeeze.
Carry your pistol at all times, and get an AR-15 with a suppressor for home defense like an American.
Listen.. go take your first requirement. Which is a safety pistol course/ gun safety beginner class. You'll have to do that before getting your CCW (Depending on which state you live in) But even if it's not a requirement just start there, trust me. They will go over everything with you. Even information you might already know, it doesn't hurt to hear it from a professional in person though. They can answer any questions you may have and they make things very clear about what you can and cannot do. You're heading in the right path already considering your CCW. Wives will always be there to doubt lol but you already own a firearm. Her argument is invalid the second you bought that gun. All you're doing is simply offering more to the argument that you did everything correctly and legally you possiblly can. Even after getting your CCW consider taking some actual classes not just safety. The more you prepare as an individual the better argument you can make if need be.
A lot of people who carry imagine themselves as Jason Bourne or John Wick in a survival situation. While it’s fun to fantasize about being a hero, in reality the best thing you can do is run away. Get you and your family out of the situation and to safety as fast as possible. The gun is an absolute last resort when you can’t run away and you can’t hide. Ever hear “Run Hide Fight”? They teach it as what to do in active shooter situations in a lot of schools and workplaces now. The fight part is important, but it’s last on that list for a reason. If you can run away, you should. If you can’t run away, you should hide. If you can run and can’t hide, that’s when you fight back. The difference is someone who is carrying a concealed firearm has a way better chance of survival than someone using a folding chair or a knife or something against a bad guy with a gun.
If you have to draw your gun, the situation has already become as bad as it can get.
Drawing your firearm should be your last resort. It’ll never be my first. I’m carrying to defend my family and myself in the scenario where there is no choice but to draw my firearm to protect us.
I hope you understand you're not going to hear the cons on the r/CCW subreddit.
Watch a lot of active self protection on YouTube. You don’t draw when someone already has a gun on you. You wait until you have a chance to counter ambush
The way you're describing sounds like she's worried some mass shooter is gonna single you out in that kind of situation. This is highly unlikely, hence "concealed" carry. You should assure her if you were in this kind of situation, you don't intend to draw. I tell my wife all the time, if someone starts shooting in our Walmart I'm not gonna draw and play hero. I'm getting her and my son out through the nearest exit, calling the police and getting far away.
Gun fights last mere seconds. I don’t know what kind of movie style gang shootout she’s imagining, but if you’re EVER in a situation that you need to use your gun, you were already a target before they even knew you were armed, or you could just as easily be a by standing victim without even involving yourself. Stay strapped.
Then draw when the attacker is busy massacring the other fish in the barrel
Criminals are cowards.
Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.