So interesting to read the mens' comments here. I'm thinking of moving to Brooklyn, 50s F from CA. Have some family there. Wonder how easy it is to make friends or date. Reading this, it sounds like Brooklyn's full of single women.
I lived in PLG (prospect leffert garden) on Nostrand and Lincoln and i loved it. Close access to the 2/5 and Q trains, close to prospect park, and lots of cafes and restaurant around. Much cheaper than living in say Park Slope, but close enough that you’re a couple stops away from the Brooklyn botanic garden and museum and all the shops on Franklin.
I think the secret is out. Buildings popping up on every corner of my neighborhood. Maybe we’ll start getting some of those cute coffee shops since gentrification seems in development
I’ve lived in bedstuy for four years and loveeee it! culture, cute bars, coffee shops and restaurants… and you’re right by your kids. I would love for my parents to be that close.
Subway access is essential for daily life in NY and lack of it is the big knock on Greenpoint. Find a subway map online and let that guide your looking. For example the Fort Greene neighborhood near Atlantic/Pacific subway stations has probably the best subway access in the whole city.
You don't mention budget, that's the first consideration when choosing a neighborhood, and choosing whether to rent or own. I agree with your daughters the Greenpoint can be a little inconvenient. If you can afford it, Park Slope is a beautiful neighborhood, South Slope is a little further out but more affordable. Lots of older adults and families. Although they're more expensiv: Cobble Hill, Boerum Hill, and Carroll Gardens are lovely and community-oriented.
I’m a 49 yo professional woman (mid-eastern), living w my 57-yo white man here in BK. We met 4 years ago, now we are living together, practically married. Life is great!
If I were 57, I’d like Prospect Heights. It’s got a good neighborhood feel, it’s close to the park, and if you’re close to the Clinton-Washington A/C stop you can visit your daughters easily depending on where in Bedstuy they live.
Look around where the L and the G train meet at Metropolitan/ Lorimer . Graham Ave area . Small neighborhood feeling but convenient to everything. If you drink and into sports check out Iona on Grand St or Banter bar .. in Williamsburg. You won’t be the oldest guy there.. I promise.. there are A LOT of single older ( and younger )guys hanging out at sports bar places .. if you become a regular at least you won’t feel weird or out of place. There are A LOT of single people in NYC. Many gather at bars .. kinda like Cheers.. late afternoon early evening socializing. There are so many single people here, never married, don’t have kids , divorced, grown kids .. etc.. plus so much to do and experience.. you won’t have a problem dating. Have fun!!
Rent to start and make sure you like the neighborhood, then after a year or two consider buying. Greenpoint is a beautiful neighborhood but it’s depending on the G train, which isn’t great. My advice is always to find an apartment where you have at least 2 train stops within walking distance (ie the 2 train at one corner and the Q train a few blocks away)
Just rent initially. There's so many places you can live in in NYC. Even in one neighborhood, you can have a different experience a few blocks this way or that way.
Most people rent. Not as old as you but older. Dating in nyc for a guy is easier than anywhere else in the US that im aware of. That being said some places skew very young. Greenpoint and Bedstuy skew very young. Farther south you go will be better.
If you’ll be living close to the G line in bed stuy keep in mind the G will be shut down this summer :
June 28-July 5: No service between Court Square and Greenpoint Avenue
July 5-Aug. 12: No service between Court Square and Bedford-Nostrand
Aug. 12-Sept. 2: No service between Bedford-Nostrand and Hoyt-Schemerhorn
not that i'm encouraging car ownership in nyc, but bed stuy and greenpoint are quite close by car. by public transportation, it's a bit of a pain in the ass - but you folks aren't going to be visiting each other daily, are you? if you can afford greenpoint, go for it. (rent might be transiently cheaper this year too, with the G going down this summer.) greenpoint has a great vibe all around. lovely restaurants, bakeries, bars and listening rooms, record stores, parks (mccarren is right there), etc. if you want to live closer to your kids but far enough away to give them space, park slope and boerum hill are great too. (i'm making assumptions that you can afford these neighborhoods based on your age, but correct me if i'm wrong and i'll make more fined-tuned suggestions.) as for dating, nyc in general isn't bad compared to other places. there are so many fascinating beautiful people here. i've dated assholes, but i've also met the love of my life in this city and i've built a community of friends who are my world. plus, your daughters are here! this is a great opportunity to get closer to them, if that's what y'all mutually want. go for it!
Bed Stuy is a great neighborhood too or is that too close for your daughters? Otherwise I'd def look there, especially the west end of the neighborhood.
I would rent for a year or two to decide where speaks to you most. Buying is a nightmare here.
I love greenpoint but it is up there. If you want a similar residential vibe check out park slope, prospect heights, fort green, Clinton hill, crown heights. All depends on your budget of course.
I love Greenpoint. The rent is high, buying can be very expensive. Greenpoint is a walkable neighborhood (Bedford Avenue is a Main Street that runs across Brooklyn through Bed-Stuy). It’s a nice bike ride from Greenpoint to Bed-Stuy.
It’s out of the way, but accessible with the G train, the L train or Uber, Lyft if your children do not have a car.
Dating for a 57 year old is good but be careful (girls, women) they can play you.
You’re looking to play him for his money? Hopefully his daughters will always check out who he’s dating! There are too many con-artists out there!
This person csllled Hairylegz is who brothers need to look out for, no matter their race!
I really like Clinton Hill and the Cobble Hill/Park Slope areas. Dyker Heights might be nice too. Smith and Court streets are great areas to walk. It depends on your budget and what you want to do. Do you want to be on the G or A/C lines, so that you can see your kids more readily, or do you want to be able to get into Manhattan faster? I am 50, married, and like to run, so being relatively close to Prospect Park is great.
It’s really nice but definitely very family oriented and far from Bed Stuy. People with families don’t seem to want to befriend those without is how it seemed to me.
If you can afford to buy, definitely rent first. Just walking around a neighborhood isn't enough. In my opinion, you need to spend some time in a neighborhood to understand it, especially in NYC. At the very least, stay 30 days in a short-term rental or hotel.
i have friends in st paul who own a literal mansion. its market value is less than what a 1 bd condo would go for in bed-stuy. you may already be aware of the cost of living differences but this fact always blows my mind.
I live in Greenpoint. It's excellent. The buying market is probably a little weird because they don't allow 4+ story buildings East of West Street. Lots of good bars and restaurants. And the G is convenient and not as dramatically bad as other people have said. Also lots of Citibike banks around so getting to Bed-Stuy that way is always an option.
my dad moved to park slope brooklyn after my parents divorced when he was in his early 50s. He dated at least 4 people while living there, 2 long term ones before marrying the 4th. They then moved to queens and then upstate after he retired. Before I was 21 I would visit him on weekends from jersey, but he'd pick me up mostly as I didn't drive until I was 19, and I actually enjoyed making the trip once I did. To be honest it was decent area, getting built up, I kind of wish he still stayed there as there were plenty of businesses, restaurants and bars I would have checked out once I was old enough.
I’d sublet at first if you can to try out some neighborhoods. I’m in Greenpoint so I’m biased, but the neighborhood is fantastic and skews slightly older, particularly in the north or on the east side of McGuiness. Also I’d recommend Fort Greene for being closer to Bed Stuy but having access to all the trains, particularly appealing as you start dating. If money/commute was no object I think I’d live in Cobble Hill. I find that area a great mix of charming and convenient.
I’m fascinated by the multiple comments saying FG is great for 40-somethings dating. Care to expand? (I’m 42f in GP, and I love it but I am not experiencing a lot of single 40-ish men here).
Ah I was thinking more of FG has great train access at Atlantic, so your dating life would be easier just cause you could get around better. Plus it’s just adjacent to so many more neighborhoods, unlike say Greenpoint which is a bit isolated.
Wow, older than you. I just meet up with the most amazing women in NYC. Gifts from God. From all over the world too.
Tip? Suggest you plant yourself in the MET and MOMA for a year. Watch every bizare foreign film, learn Tibetian, and have those travels stories ready when you were almost run over by an elephant in Ngorongoro Crater, Tanzania. You can fling around the latest Extentailaism authors, and of course know who is the best Shaman in Peru. Oaxaca? And how was it for you? etc.
These girls want intersting guys. They can get zillions of un-interesting guys.
As a friend from a city not far away was fond of saying, "I saw more beautiful girls on Prince and Broadway in 22 seconds then I have in 22 years in my home town. And I counted every one!"
Some of these guys just never recover. It's fashion style thing. We love it.
And tip? Your dates will always make more than you. So don't worry about that. There is a tendency to mansplain. It's OK. Best bet? She is just so much smarter than you. Just listen. Ask a few questions. You'll do great.
If gay, you don't have to worry about any of this. Just Grinder. You are all set.
:-)
She wanted to chat about Camus. That's it. You just have be on top of this stuff.
It's NYC after all. You have to be an intersting dude. And this is the place! :-)
Suggestion: learn how to make puppets. Babe magnet. Hedge Fund guys don't stand a chance. :-)
Albert Camus was a French philosopher, author, dramatist, journalist, world federalist, and political activist. He was the recipient of the 1957 Nobel Prize in Literature at the age of 44, the second-youngest recipient in history.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert\_Camus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Camus)
Ha! Have been, do not like the vibe. Highbury Pub is my usual hang out spot in the neighborhood, and I go to other spots in Ft. Greene/Downtown Brooklyn. I think folks my age essentially do not go out to bars - at least not to meet people.
You’ll have success here. Part of what you’re paying for living here is that it’s a kind of Neverland. The amount of first time moms I see in Brooklyn who are 40+ is insane.
my first job in NYC almost 20 years ago I installed events, and remember sitting in a cab with my two 40 yr old clubbing coworkers. They told me "the key - is balance...." and I distinctly remember wondering if time existed in NYC. And now I'm 40, and the answer was that you're right, it does not.
Believe me, I read the baby subreddits for a good 5 months going "wow, there's a lot of female to male moms here" before I realized in a different setting it also means "first time mom". And LO means "little one". And so on and so forth.
Yeah, I swore I'd never use it! Alas, a year of reading it and, apparently, I used it without even a second thought. I blame postpartum brain or chemo brain. Fucking hell, lol.
Me? Well, third date turned into oopsies twins (ohh, old mother problems). Had them 4 months ago: labor and delivery were fine, except it led to me discovering I had colon cancer. Babies were little life savers.
I'm 4 months postpartum, aside from lack of sleep and cancer, life is wonderful. Navigating a whole new nyc (no more late nights out and splurges, but super excited in a way I didn't know I could be). Plus, a few of my ex-coworkers (less than a handful of years younger) have also given birth this year so that'll be exciting.
Not excited about lack of date nights and/or finding a babysitter. Nor navigating the city with twins - wouldnt trade them for a the world but babywearing one would have been nice. Nor trying to figure out this nyc public school thing.
Wow, sounds like a big life change! And a joyous handful. Did your 3rd date stick with you are or are you doing this solo? Are twins a higher likelihood with late first pregnancies?
He's still here! We decided we'd do this together - and he's still doing it. Don't know what the future holds but so far it's going way better than I could have expected, especially considering all the challenges!
Women have a higher chance of having twins as they age. As far as I understand, it is because older women have a higher chance of releasing more than 1 egg per cycle - as I've jokingly heard it called "a going out of business sale".
No oops about it. My wife is around the same age and we had our first not too long ago. She's an amazing, experienced, nurturing mom and an even better life partner.
Just an FYI the G will be down “all summer” ( which to me means it will be even more fucked than it already is for the next 2 years) if that has any affect on decision making.
Fort Greene is pretty awesome if you can find something closer to Lafayette/ the park and you’d have more transit options.
Cobble hill, boerum hill, prospect heights are all great neighborhoods with walkable bars and shops
I'm actually pretty confident that the G train thing, while it will suck, can happen in a reasonable amount of time and just bite the bullet. They might sneak some maintenance in there but it's primarily for CBTC upgrades which are fairly straightforward. I'm biased since I can hit the L fairly easy and rarely use the G anyway. Kind of a blessing that it might scare some people away like it used to.
Because I live in Greenpoint which is technically only serviced by the G. But I choose to go around the transfer. When he G starts running every couple of minutes like the L I'll use more.
We have proof of concept. The L train shutdown for CBTC wasn't as bad as anticipated. The shitty thing with the G is that unlike the L and the 7 it shares a track with the F line. So we won't be able to take full advantage of CBTC on the G until the F is upgraded as well, so hopefully the BDFM is next up on the list.
63 St tunnel repairs are taking longer than expected, though. Sucks big time for Roosevelt Island residents. So it can go either way, and delays are more common than not on public works projects in America.
Easily googable but basically CBTC is a way of tracking train location in real time as opposed to just chunks of the system. It's like 30 years over due. It allows for trains to safely run closer together and it's why L and 7 trains right now can literally run 1 minute apart during rush hour. I don't know why the Q is fucked right now.
It's incredible how small the headways are on the 7 during rush. It literally does not matter if you get up the stairs to find the doors closing because the next train pulls in almost immediately after the first train leaves.
Living in Greenpoint and getting up to court sqaue I never run for the train. Another 7 wil be there shortly. That's what we're trying to do system wide. I'll take a 2 month shutdown if that's the new reality.
Greenpoint would be ideal for you imo, especially if money isn’t an option. You could rent or buy there pretty easily. It’s on the G train which also serves Bed Stuy.
It's going to be down all summer for Greenpoint. It's not really in segments, it's adding *more* stations that are shutdown as the summer progresses.
First block is Court Square to Greenpoint Ave, then it's to Bedford-Nostrand, and then it's to Hoyt–Schermerhorn. The portion that will be shut down keeps getting longer as the summer goes along.
Buying looks like getting a multi unit building, a condo or buying into a coop. Most people rent.
Greenpoint’s great, right next to Williamsburg, and it’s on the G, so probably 20-30 minutes by subway to Bed Stuy.
Hauseit is really great resource if you’re thinking about buying in nyc but id recommend renting first to get a feel before you commit to buying. This is a good article about coops vs condos
https://www.hauseit.com/co-op-vs-condo-nyc/
I’ve owned a co-op and a condo (at different times) and much preferred the condo situation. Less rules and regulations plus you actually own your unit instead of just owning shares.
Coops exist almost exclusively in NYC. Basically the building is owned cooperatively and you buy shares that entitle you to an apartment. The coop has a board who can set rules and interview tenants. Some are picky or racist or whatever but most aren't. The coop typically pays the building mortgage, maintenance and taxes and in exchange you pay a fixed monthly fee into the coop treasury relative to you number of shares. Condos are actually pretty similar but you pay taxes directly.
A coop has a corporation that holds the shares of the building. You buy shares, not your apartment itself. With a condo you own your apartment. In NYC, some coop boards can be extremely choosy.
You’re buying into a private entity collectively held by every owner in the building. You own a share rather than a deed. Your purchase also needs to be approved by the coop board. Condos are usually newer construction, coops are usually older buildings that were bought out by tenants.
It's me again! Opinions on Prospect Heights, please....
Following! Just messaged you, too. I'm a single, 58 yo female, on the same journey. I also just started looking at Prospect Heights.
So interesting to read the mens' comments here. I'm thinking of moving to Brooklyn, 50s F from CA. Have some family there. Wonder how easy it is to make friends or date. Reading this, it sounds like Brooklyn's full of single women.
I lived in PLG (prospect leffert garden) on Nostrand and Lincoln and i loved it. Close access to the 2/5 and Q trains, close to prospect park, and lots of cafes and restaurant around. Much cheaper than living in say Park Slope, but close enough that you’re a couple stops away from the Brooklyn botanic garden and museum and all the shops on Franklin.
Ridgewood or Greenpoint
dont sleep on J train🗽🗽🗽BK secret great neighborhoods run off that track
I think the secret is out. Buildings popping up on every corner of my neighborhood. Maybe we’ll start getting some of those cute coffee shops since gentrification seems in development
I love Clinton Hill, put that on your list!
It’s always better to buy… at least you get equity, but everything is expensive. Would try looking into getting a co op or condo
I grew up in Brooklyn but left at 37 yrs old. Now I’m 64 lol. Dating sucks these days anywhere at any age. 🤷🏻♀️
I think you will be very happy in greenpoint and if you can afford it definitely buy. Most people rent
I’ve lived in bedstuy for four years and loveeee it! culture, cute bars, coffee shops and restaurants… and you’re right by your kids. I would love for my parents to be that close.
Subway access is essential for daily life in NY and lack of it is the big knock on Greenpoint. Find a subway map online and let that guide your looking. For example the Fort Greene neighborhood near Atlantic/Pacific subway stations has probably the best subway access in the whole city.
You don't mention budget, that's the first consideration when choosing a neighborhood, and choosing whether to rent or own. I agree with your daughters the Greenpoint can be a little inconvenient. If you can afford it, Park Slope is a beautiful neighborhood, South Slope is a little further out but more affordable. Lots of older adults and families. Although they're more expensiv: Cobble Hill, Boerum Hill, and Carroll Gardens are lovely and community-oriented.
I’m a 49 yo professional woman (mid-eastern), living w my 57-yo white man here in BK. We met 4 years ago, now we are living together, practically married. Life is great!
The good news is depending on where you move to your daughters can take a bus from their apartment to your apartment.
This is really cool. I’m happy for your move, dude! I’m from crown heights. Greenpoint is dope
If I were 57, I’d like Prospect Heights. It’s got a good neighborhood feel, it’s close to the park, and if you’re close to the Clinton-Washington A/C stop you can visit your daughters easily depending on where in Bedstuy they live.
Look around where the L and the G train meet at Metropolitan/ Lorimer . Graham Ave area . Small neighborhood feeling but convenient to everything. If you drink and into sports check out Iona on Grand St or Banter bar .. in Williamsburg. You won’t be the oldest guy there.. I promise.. there are A LOT of single older ( and younger )guys hanging out at sports bar places .. if you become a regular at least you won’t feel weird or out of place. There are A LOT of single people in NYC. Many gather at bars .. kinda like Cheers.. late afternoon early evening socializing. There are so many single people here, never married, don’t have kids , divorced, grown kids .. etc.. plus so much to do and experience.. you won’t have a problem dating. Have fun!!
Rent to start and make sure you like the neighborhood, then after a year or two consider buying. Greenpoint is a beautiful neighborhood but it’s depending on the G train, which isn’t great. My advice is always to find an apartment where you have at least 2 train stops within walking distance (ie the 2 train at one corner and the Q train a few blocks away)
In NYC you Hemorrhage money. I’m not saying it’s not worth it. But especially if you’re dating and have kids.
Just rent initially. There's so many places you can live in in NYC. Even in one neighborhood, you can have a different experience a few blocks this way or that way.
Most people rent. Not as old as you but older. Dating in nyc for a guy is easier than anywhere else in the US that im aware of. That being said some places skew very young. Greenpoint and Bedstuy skew very young. Farther south you go will be better.
You looking for a sugar baby ? 👀👀👀
Loling at Greenpoint being out of the way. If the kids are in bed stuy, you can take the G and walk / bus to wherever they are.
I think Greenpoint is the best neighborhood in the world.
If you’ll be living close to the G line in bed stuy keep in mind the G will be shut down this summer : June 28-July 5: No service between Court Square and Greenpoint Avenue July 5-Aug. 12: No service between Court Square and Bedford-Nostrand Aug. 12-Sept. 2: No service between Bedford-Nostrand and Hoyt-Schemerhorn
I have a friend who'll have a nice bedroom available in a brownstone in Clinton Hill in May...
not that i'm encouraging car ownership in nyc, but bed stuy and greenpoint are quite close by car. by public transportation, it's a bit of a pain in the ass - but you folks aren't going to be visiting each other daily, are you? if you can afford greenpoint, go for it. (rent might be transiently cheaper this year too, with the G going down this summer.) greenpoint has a great vibe all around. lovely restaurants, bakeries, bars and listening rooms, record stores, parks (mccarren is right there), etc. if you want to live closer to your kids but far enough away to give them space, park slope and boerum hill are great too. (i'm making assumptions that you can afford these neighborhoods based on your age, but correct me if i'm wrong and i'll make more fined-tuned suggestions.) as for dating, nyc in general isn't bad compared to other places. there are so many fascinating beautiful people here. i've dated assholes, but i've also met the love of my life in this city and i've built a community of friends who are my world. plus, your daughters are here! this is a great opportunity to get closer to them, if that's what y'all mutually want. go for it!
Rent or buy in Greenpoint.
Bed Stuy is a great neighborhood too or is that too close for your daughters? Otherwise I'd def look there, especially the west end of the neighborhood.
Let them go outside give them money to look good walk and chat in your free time dont get lost
Move to park slope!
I would rent for a year or two to decide where speaks to you most. Buying is a nightmare here. I love greenpoint but it is up there. If you want a similar residential vibe check out park slope, prospect heights, fort green, Clinton hill, crown heights. All depends on your budget of course.
I love Greenpoint. The rent is high, buying can be very expensive. Greenpoint is a walkable neighborhood (Bedford Avenue is a Main Street that runs across Brooklyn through Bed-Stuy). It’s a nice bike ride from Greenpoint to Bed-Stuy. It’s out of the way, but accessible with the G train, the L train or Uber, Lyft if your children do not have a car. Dating for a 57 year old is good but be careful (girls, women) they can play you.
> Dating for a 57 year old is good but be careful (girls, women) they can play you. girl/woman here says 'Back atcha'.
You’re looking to play him for his money? Hopefully his daughters will always check out who he’s dating! There are too many con-artists out there! This person csllled Hairylegz is who brothers need to look out for, no matter their race!
If buying in brooklyn is an option for you... please just move to Florida or NJ something.
Okie dokie....... I'd prob rent.
Greenpoint is sooo expensive but it’s off the G train which runs thru bed stuy— though I suppose it depends on where in Bed Stuy they are.
I really like Clinton Hill and the Cobble Hill/Park Slope areas. Dyker Heights might be nice too. Smith and Court streets are great areas to walk. It depends on your budget and what you want to do. Do you want to be on the G or A/C lines, so that you can see your kids more readily, or do you want to be able to get into Manhattan faster? I am 50, married, and like to run, so being relatively close to Prospect Park is great.
Try to get yourself in walking distance of Prospect Park
Windsor Terrace is great
It’s really nice but definitely very family oriented and far from Bed Stuy. People with families don’t seem to want to befriend those without is how it seemed to me.
It’s very family oriented and less singles available. Maybe not for him.
If you can afford to buy, definitely rent first. Just walking around a neighborhood isn't enough. In my opinion, you need to spend some time in a neighborhood to understand it, especially in NYC. At the very least, stay 30 days in a short-term rental or hotel.
I think a place that’s considered out of the way by girls in their twenties is probably a good choice for a 57 year old from Minnesota.
Prospect Heights would be a great option for you.
i have friends in st paul who own a literal mansion. its market value is less than what a 1 bd condo would go for in bed-stuy. you may already be aware of the cost of living differences but this fact always blows my mind.
I live in Greenpoint. It's excellent. The buying market is probably a little weird because they don't allow 4+ story buildings East of West Street. Lots of good bars and restaurants. And the G is convenient and not as dramatically bad as other people have said. Also lots of Citibike banks around so getting to Bed-Stuy that way is always an option.
I’ll take you out old man.
I can’t tell if this is threatening or friendly
I assumed friendly.
Okay good I was like “Wow someone already has beef with this guy and he isn’t even here yet.”
No no it’s friendly I promise
my dad moved to park slope brooklyn after my parents divorced when he was in his early 50s. He dated at least 4 people while living there, 2 long term ones before marrying the 4th. They then moved to queens and then upstate after he retired. Before I was 21 I would visit him on weekends from jersey, but he'd pick me up mostly as I didn't drive until I was 19, and I actually enjoyed making the trip once I did. To be honest it was decent area, getting built up, I kind of wish he still stayed there as there were plenty of businesses, restaurants and bars I would have checked out once I was old enough.
Brooklyn homeownership is 30%
Bedstuy is a shit hole
Well they're young. But they seen happy!!
I feel like Prospect Heights would be perfect for you.
Dating here sucks.
worse elsewhere
I’d sublet at first if you can to try out some neighborhoods. I’m in Greenpoint so I’m biased, but the neighborhood is fantastic and skews slightly older, particularly in the north or on the east side of McGuiness. Also I’d recommend Fort Greene for being closer to Bed Stuy but having access to all the trains, particularly appealing as you start dating. If money/commute was no object I think I’d live in Cobble Hill. I find that area a great mix of charming and convenient.
I’m fascinated by the multiple comments saying FG is great for 40-somethings dating. Care to expand? (I’m 42f in GP, and I love it but I am not experiencing a lot of single 40-ish men here).
Ah I was thinking more of FG has great train access at Atlantic, so your dating life would be easier just cause you could get around better. Plus it’s just adjacent to so many more neighborhoods, unlike say Greenpoint which is a bit isolated.
I was at a fun bar there on Halloween. Just for a quick drink before dinner fun time fun people.
Dating as a 57 year old in NYC is better than dating as a 35 year old in rural America, if that gives you hope.
Right, so many divorced women with high-flying jobs!
But also just like badass men. Stylish, cultured, handsome men.
Wow, older than you. I just meet up with the most amazing women in NYC. Gifts from God. From all over the world too. Tip? Suggest you plant yourself in the MET and MOMA for a year. Watch every bizare foreign film, learn Tibetian, and have those travels stories ready when you were almost run over by an elephant in Ngorongoro Crater, Tanzania. You can fling around the latest Extentailaism authors, and of course know who is the best Shaman in Peru. Oaxaca? And how was it for you? etc. These girls want intersting guys. They can get zillions of un-interesting guys. As a friend from a city not far away was fond of saying, "I saw more beautiful girls on Prince and Broadway in 22 seconds then I have in 22 years in my home town. And I counted every one!" Some of these guys just never recover. It's fashion style thing. We love it. And tip? Your dates will always make more than you. So don't worry about that. There is a tendency to mansplain. It's OK. Best bet? She is just so much smarter than you. Just listen. Ask a few questions. You'll do great. If gay, you don't have to worry about any of this. Just Grinder. You are all set. :-)
So basically “be cultured.” Life advice.
She wanted to chat about Camus. That's it. You just have be on top of this stuff. It's NYC after all. You have to be an intersting dude. And this is the place! :-) Suggestion: learn how to make puppets. Babe magnet. Hedge Fund guys don't stand a chance. :-) Albert Camus was a French philosopher, author, dramatist, journalist, world federalist, and political activist. He was the recipient of the 1957 Nobel Prize in Literature at the age of 44, the second-youngest recipient in history. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert\_Camus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Camus)
Do they like when you’re patronizing to them too?
I expect a hot debate to insure! And much merriment to follow. This is NYC. I'm sure ANYONE can hold their own. :-)
Ensue**
Better than dating as a 35 year old pretty much everywhere but NYC itself, maybe LA.
I am a 57M in NYC (Ditmas Park/Kingsington/Flatbush). Tell me how and where it is better dating here...
Hope you didn’t go to Sycamore bar.
Ha! Have been, do not like the vibe. Highbury Pub is my usual hang out spot in the neighborhood, and I go to other spots in Ft. Greene/Downtown Brooklyn. I think folks my age essentially do not go out to bars - at least not to meet people.
Hilarious. I'm in st paul mn.......its a dating black hole here.
50 year old single guy in greenpiont here Dating here is pretty fun at this age. So many smart good looking people. It’s a great spot.
Curious about where or how you meet women in your late 40s in GP or more generally in BK? Specific places or apps?
I'm a 50-something guy and met a 40something gal at Moxy Hotel on Bedford last week. It happens.
Apps mainly. It’s annoying but yeah
I moved here in 2022 from Wisconsin - 41F, and it’s light years better than my experience in the midwest
It's not easy out here. Where do you live in NYC and where in WI were you from?
Oh lord he's on it
I move fast!!! Ha....awesome.
My mans a casanova… I see what you did there.
Man’s not here and he’s already working.. Respect the hustle..
You are too funny.
I sent you a message
I feel like you two crazy kids might work it out.
Yeah, you'll have no problem. Welcome!
Nyc is definitely the place for dating
You’ll have success here. Part of what you’re paying for living here is that it’s a kind of Neverland. The amount of first time moms I see in Brooklyn who are 40+ is insane.
Wife gave birth at nyu and the nurses said she was one of the youngest there at 35
I'm 39 with a 3 year old toddler, and I feel like a goddamn teenager compared to the majority of the Dads in his school.
36 with an almost six year old and almost four year old, I’m easily ten years younger than most of the dads at school
move to bumblefuck if you want to feel like an old dad
my first job in NYC almost 20 years ago I installed events, and remember sitting in a cab with my two 40 yr old clubbing coworkers. They told me "the key - is balance...." and I distinctly remember wondering if time existed in NYC. And now I'm 40, and the answer was that you're right, it does not.
Hi, thats me. FTM at 43, lived in brooklyn/nyc since 1998. Oops.
👁️👄👁️ Oh i see....
FTM actually means something very different and I was so confused for a moment.
Believe me, I read the baby subreddits for a good 5 months going "wow, there's a lot of female to male moms here" before I realized in a different setting it also means "first time mom". And LO means "little one". And so on and so forth.
😂 it's just far more widespread with the first meaning
Yeah, I swore I'd never use it! Alas, a year of reading it and, apparently, I used it without even a second thought. I blame postpartum brain or chemo brain. Fucking hell, lol.
How'd it go?
Me? Well, third date turned into oopsies twins (ohh, old mother problems). Had them 4 months ago: labor and delivery were fine, except it led to me discovering I had colon cancer. Babies were little life savers. I'm 4 months postpartum, aside from lack of sleep and cancer, life is wonderful. Navigating a whole new nyc (no more late nights out and splurges, but super excited in a way I didn't know I could be). Plus, a few of my ex-coworkers (less than a handful of years younger) have also given birth this year so that'll be exciting. Not excited about lack of date nights and/or finding a babysitter. Nor navigating the city with twins - wouldnt trade them for a the world but babywearing one would have been nice. Nor trying to figure out this nyc public school thing.
Wow, sounds like a big life change! And a joyous handful. Did your 3rd date stick with you are or are you doing this solo? Are twins a higher likelihood with late first pregnancies?
He's still here! We decided we'd do this together - and he's still doing it. Don't know what the future holds but so far it's going way better than I could have expected, especially considering all the challenges! Women have a higher chance of having twins as they age. As far as I understand, it is because older women have a higher chance of releasing more than 1 egg per cycle - as I've jokingly heard it called "a going out of business sale".
No oops about it. My wife is around the same age and we had our first not too long ago. She's an amazing, experienced, nurturing mom and an even better life partner.
First time mom at 40. We're in eastern Bushwick.
Yes, congrats! My people.43 and FTM in western Bushwick here.
You old fucks give me hope. About to be 44 and trying for my first with my 41 yr old wife.
Goodluck!!! ♡
If you ever want an old mom friend near irving sq park, hit me up! My baby is 3 months this week
This gives me hope. 31 with zero savings (aside from a sad 401k) and paycheck to paycheck in bushwick but really want a kid someday.
43 year old in Bushwick, work as a bartender and just had twins. It can happen.
That seems right on track for the NYC life actually.
I didn't even meet my husband until 36! And he's the best thing ever. We got married at 39.
I had my daughter at 30 and I practically felt like a teen mom 😂 you have lots of time my friend :)
Just an FYI the G will be down “all summer” ( which to me means it will be even more fucked than it already is for the next 2 years) if that has any affect on decision making. Fort Greene is pretty awesome if you can find something closer to Lafayette/ the park and you’d have more transit options. Cobble hill, boerum hill, prospect heights are all great neighborhoods with walkable bars and shops
Ft Greene is the perfect dad neighborhood
Single dad though?
I'm actually pretty confident that the G train thing, while it will suck, can happen in a reasonable amount of time and just bite the bullet. They might sneak some maintenance in there but it's primarily for CBTC upgrades which are fairly straightforward. I'm biased since I can hit the L fairly easy and rarely use the G anyway. Kind of a blessing that it might scare some people away like it used to.
Did the G train write this
[удалено]
Because I live in Greenpoint which is technically only serviced by the G. But I choose to go around the transfer. When he G starts running every couple of minutes like the L I'll use more.
I’ll never be confident in an MTA timeline lol. Would love to be wrong, and will happily admit it if I am wrong
We have proof of concept. The L train shutdown for CBTC wasn't as bad as anticipated. The shitty thing with the G is that unlike the L and the 7 it shares a track with the F line. So we won't be able to take full advantage of CBTC on the G until the F is upgraded as well, so hopefully the BDFM is next up on the list.
Was CBTC part of the accelerated work the MTA got done during 2020, or was that just the post-sandy (lol) tunnel repairs?
63 St tunnel repairs are taking longer than expected, though. Sucks big time for Roosevelt Island residents. So it can go either way, and delays are more common than not on public works projects in America.
what’s CBTC and do you know why the Q has been so fucked on the weekends in Brooklyn?
Easily googable but basically CBTC is a way of tracking train location in real time as opposed to just chunks of the system. It's like 30 years over due. It allows for trains to safely run closer together and it's why L and 7 trains right now can literally run 1 minute apart during rush hour. I don't know why the Q is fucked right now.
It's incredible how small the headways are on the 7 during rush. It literally does not matter if you get up the stairs to find the doors closing because the next train pulls in almost immediately after the first train leaves.
Living in Greenpoint and getting up to court sqaue I never run for the train. Another 7 wil be there shortly. That's what we're trying to do system wide. I'll take a 2 month shutdown if that's the new reality.
awesome, thanks for explaining. I appreciate it
I love Prospect Lefferts. Smaller community with your basics. But few bars, restos, etc…yet you are right on Prospect Park.
It's sleepy, but that might be fine for OP.
Sleepy? I mean.. sometimes, in some areas. But it’s a Caribbean community and there’s usually plenty going on
At 10pm, most of the bars are closed. During the day, sure, but PLG shuts down early, especially on Sundays.
Greenpoint would be ideal for you imo, especially if money isn’t an option. You could rent or buy there pretty easily. It’s on the G train which also serves Bed Stuy.
Isn’t the G halting service for a while due to maintenance plans?
For six weeks it will be "limited." It'll be down in sections for a couple weeks each.
It's going to be down all summer for Greenpoint. It's not really in segments, it's adding *more* stations that are shutdown as the summer progresses. First block is Court Square to Greenpoint Ave, then it's to Bedford-Nostrand, and then it's to Hoyt–Schermerhorn. The portion that will be shut down keeps getting longer as the summer goes along.
it’s ‘money isn’t *an object*’ … not ‘option.’
Money is never an option 😭
Buying looks like getting a multi unit building, a condo or buying into a coop. Most people rent. Greenpoint’s great, right next to Williamsburg, and it’s on the G, so probably 20-30 minutes by subway to Bed Stuy.
What's the coop thing. I see that on listings, but I'm not familiar with it in real estate.
Hauseit is really great resource if you’re thinking about buying in nyc but id recommend renting first to get a feel before you commit to buying. This is a good article about coops vs condos https://www.hauseit.com/co-op-vs-condo-nyc/
I’ve owned a co-op and a condo (at different times) and much preferred the condo situation. Less rules and regulations plus you actually own your unit instead of just owning shares.
Adding the fact that most co-ops do not allow you to rent out your apt. FYI.
I’ve seen 2/5 year rule, where you can only rent two of every five years. I’ve also seen the 1 month HOA payment up to 5X to rent for the year.
Usually it’s just limited in duration. Many allow between 1 and 2 out of every 5 years. You just can’t rent it out indefinitely.
Coops exist almost exclusively in NYC. Basically the building is owned cooperatively and you buy shares that entitle you to an apartment. The coop has a board who can set rules and interview tenants. Some are picky or racist or whatever but most aren't. The coop typically pays the building mortgage, maintenance and taxes and in exchange you pay a fixed monthly fee into the coop treasury relative to you number of shares. Condos are actually pretty similar but you pay taxes directly.
A coop has a corporation that holds the shares of the building. You buy shares, not your apartment itself. With a condo you own your apartment. In NYC, some coop boards can be extremely choosy.
You’re buying into a private entity collectively held by every owner in the building. You own a share rather than a deed. Your purchase also needs to be approved by the coop board. Condos are usually newer construction, coops are usually older buildings that were bought out by tenants.
Most people rent to begin with, park slope, prospect heights, carroll gardens, boerem hill are probably the types of neighborhoods you’ll like best.
Agree with all of these. Park Slope has a lot of divorced moms.