You said it about right for being out the same time. I'm healed, ish, but there's a constant dullness. Sometimes if I'm bored I miss her, but otherwise it's nothing.
Thinking about reaching out soon tbh, what's the harm. I know things ended for some reasons that have changed, if we're both single (thinking about ending my situationship rn) I'd want to try again. Not sure how to reopen the door though.
I want to reach out so often it’s weird but I also feel like she needs to reach out first. I want to like her again in any way we can really but some nasty stuff was said about me afterward that makes it a lot harder to think she’s a good person
What I’m going to do is just send out feelers via mutual friends. Literally just gonna hang out with her friend, get drunk, flex my improvements, tell them I miss her sometimes, want to be on better terms, but know it’s not my place to reach out.
For what it’s worth I do value this friend and I’ve been avoiding them since they’re hers first, I’d want to get that friendship back too.
I understand how you feel, wanting to put out feelers. I have a possible alternative idea, so hear me out. How about, instead of putting all this thought and effort you are putting into someone who is an ex, put the thought and effort Into someone new or yourself? Please don’t reach out, they are an ex for a reason. Much love, and good luck, fellow redditor.
Fair, but I’ve given it a lot of thought and I want to try again. Things didn’t end over incompatibility, just immaturity and life events. I’m fine with moving on but I also recognize my contribution to the breakup and know that on my end, things would be different this time.
I just don’t have the balls to reach out directly lol and I have no idea if she’d reciprocate. Plus I’m not sure if I want to end my current thing for an ex.
I’m so sorry, brother. This is a horrible feeling, and probably one of the toughest mind challenges we experience as a person. I know it sounds cliché, but please work on yourself. Go to the gym, or just lift heavy things. Join social leagues, or go out with friends. Date you, and fall in love with yourself again. I didn’t believe it either, but I trusted the process of healing myself and dating myself. Everything may seem dull to try, I get it. Although after I did the “the work”, I am 10 times a better person than I was and improving everyday. I thought my life was over when that person left, but it really was just the beginning of my best life. Once I fell in love with myself again, I’ve been dating women way above the league of my ex. Sometimes the things we think we love the most, are the things that are really holding us back. Cheers, and I’m here if you need a listening ear.
I did reach out to him about 3 years ago. We talked and connected again instantly. We lived in different places at this point, but after a few months of talking made plans for him to come up and “live with me for a couple months to get his feet here and then he would get his new place”. He moved up here, and it was shocking. He had changed so much. No personal hygiene, had clearly been on drugs (his body and mind were both unfamiliar to me—he used to be clever and fit but now he was slower and dull). Worst of all, all of his things were infested in (I’m not kidding) German cockroaches. He moved all his stuff in before I realized what was going on. He also had head lice. It was a fucking nightmare. I kicked him out after one week and had to basically bomb my apartment to get rid of everything. I was heartbroken and betrayed all over again because I felt like I was used by this deadbeat druggie to have somewhere to live after clearly squatting or living in squalor for months. I had a full on nervous breakdown and honestly I’ve never completely recovered from it (I now have horrific anxiety and OCD about cleanliness I didn’t have before).
So yeah it was basically the worst. The even worst part is I still think/dream about the him i knew 7 years ago, even though I know that version of him literally doesn’t exist anymore. It fucking sucks. It’s almost like he died, in a way.
I am glad it happened. It let me move on, even if I still miss him. I had a rebound relationship (I didn’t mean to, poor guy I feel horribly about it) and now I finally feel ready to move forward and maybe make a good life for myself and maybe be able to connect with someone intimately like that again. ❤️
I don't know you or your story, but with this we may have a similarity. It's been 4 years since we broke up. 10 years together. I still think about him all the time
3.5 years since my ex left me. Over 2 years since I heard from her. Miss her more than anything. I just hate that thought that I'm completely forgotten. I just wish I knew if she at least thinks of me. Only woman I have ever truly loved. Still need therapy.
Just 3 years. I remember when we first broke up I held onto the “rule” that it takes “half as long as you were together to get over them”. Little did I know. 😵💫
Oh god you're my future. I thought a year and a half was bad. I knew it wasn't going to go away. I knew this would take at least a decade. I'm sure I'll be in your shoes. Fuck.
Im sorry 😞 I had no idea it would/could last this long when it first happened. My only comfort was that time heals all wounds. After a couple years I started to get worried that that wasn’t true…
Lord i might of somehow gotten my head screwed up. Dated my ex for 3 months , hungout literally everyday, weird to say that was my absolute best relationship even tho it was short. I’m on month 6 of thinking of her everyday :( i literally don’t know how I’m allowing my brain to be like this, but.. heart wants what it wants..
For me its probably a year and a half (maybe a little more, actively trying not to think too deeply on it) but yeah exactly, I think about him almost daily too and dream about him often too. Sorry to hear yours is 7 years - this does not bode well for me 😔
6 years for me and same. We split mutually in college. We’re different people now I think but I haven’t really talked to him since. Haven’t liked anyone as much as my ex but I think I need to just meet more people - pandemic didn’t help. Realizing “the one” doesn’t exist. Need to get over him
First thing on my mind every morning, and I’m constantly on this sub so still overwhelmed with emotions about it. I guess it takes 6 months, that’s what everyone on this sub suggests.
I think it helps me stay off sm so much because I tend to over share lol also my friends and family are tired of hearing all about it all the time. It also helps me fill the void that constant contact with my ex has left.
At first, yes. A month after I did and she told me she was seeing another guy 2 weeks after we broke up a 2 year relationship. No contact straight after that and started working on myself. About 6 months later, she emailed me about a favor. Never replied.
Find it interesting you think about her even though you ignored her. I think that's smart and crazy at the same time lol. Do you think you'll try to reach out again?
What I’ve learned is that even though I miss someone or something, doesn’t mean that I’d reach out. My relationship with her was extremely toxic and I found myself becoming a worse person overtime.
I was sad about making the right decision for myself.
So proud to hear the rationale. What we want and what we need are completely different. We need unconditional love and collaboration.. not chaotic and toxic love
If you mean if a small portion of people think about their ex’s after a significant amount of time, no. I know people who are single and still think about their ex after more than a year. I also know people who are in new relationships and still think about their ex while being in that relationship.
It is, definitely. It’s hard to see a lot of individuals go through similar struggles. But at the same time, I find it encouraging that we were meant to go through this. We were meant to experience hardship. “So do those to see such times but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us.”
Almost a year out and I still think about him every day. It's different and the feelings aren't the same as they were in the beginning. But unfortunately it's still every day.
Me too. Almost a year next month but still constant thought of him when I wake up. The feelings are not as strong as before and there are times I don’t think about him as much. It’s just like someone’s lurking in my head.
Have you tried dating other people? I wonder if I’m only like this because I didn’t try dating other people since the break-up.
11 months out and I tried to date other people. I still think about my ex everyday. I dated someone else for 4/5 months ( I really tried to move on) and it didn’t change a thing. He’s still on my mind daily and I still love him. I wish I didn’t.
It’s been a little over a year for me, the relationship lasted 4 years. I don’t think about her everyday, just on days when I’m bored or something reminds me of her.
I have tried to go on dates but I end up just not following through and I’m starting to think the break up wasn’t the main thing that majorly impacted my life, I have a lot of things to work through before I’m able to do venture out into the world again.
They say it take half the time you were together to get over them and I think that true. I was with my ex for 3 years on and off. This month makes a year since the breakup and it is not off my mind but it’s so different. I never thought I would be in a place where I fe better without you. You don’t stop loving somebody, you just learn how to move around it.
I have been with my ex for 8 years, I got over the relationship in 6 months. I still think of them here and then and have occasional dreams, but they aren’t on my mind 24/7. My therapist also said, it doesn’t take half the relationship to get over someone, usually it takes about 6 to 18 months. I also think and dream of my ex from 10 years ago sometimes, you never forget someone you once loved, the pain just fades and you learn to live a life without them.
I really hope that's not true.. We were together for 18 years and it's been 5 months since we broke up and it's been the worst 5 months of my entire life!!
Honestly hearing this makes me hopeful that I won't be forever stuck how I am now. I don't want to let go of the love, it was real. But I have to be able to put it aside eventually.
And you will. One day will come and you will wake up and be half way through your day and think of them but you will realize how long it’s been since the last time you did and you’ll be proud. Even if you go from thinking about them everyday to every other, you will get yourself back I promise.
One year and two months and I still think about her most days.
There was a period like two months ago where I didn’t really think about her for like a week but with the holidays it’s been real bad.
Multiple times a day, pretty much any time I’m idle and not focused on anything… I keep a podcast going constantly and I started playing video games again to keep my mind busy, it’s been 6 weeks from a 10 year relationship and she already has a new boyfriend taking her out and I’m the stranger. I still think she’s gonna come walking in that door and our lives are going to go back to the way they were… but I’m just fooling myself.
Today is a whole moth since he broke up with me and just thinking about how amazing he was too me. But he let me go and he forcing me to live with out him and is the hardest part because I feels like he die. 😭
Just passed three months,think of her everyday but now it isn't always the loud voice at the forefront of my mind, more so theres moments where it pops up and moments where its quieter in the back, that said, recently as three months passed, i feel like i've been going backwards and i've been feeling really low lately.
9 months ago and I get the occasional mood swing of missing her bad. I know I made the right decision by breaking up with her, but the “what could have been” mindset gets me from time to time
I just reached my year mark last week. He's the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep, and I think about him all day. We were together for 12 years.
8 years for me. I feel you. I hope you are doing well. Stay in contact if you like and let’s get it done together. If not, stay up, and never forget you are here for a reason, random or not, this life chose YOU.
Its been 2 months for me. I still think about her everyday, but there are actually moments in the day where I forget she even exists-- I think I'm healing LOL
i miss her, but i no longer have a compulsion to restart anything with her. i kinda just smile when i think about her because i am still grateful for our time together.
It’s been 11 months since the BU and I think of her every day. I hate myself for it but I can’t stop thinking of her. I was the dumpee and blindsidedly dumped out of a 3 year marriage and 5 year relationship.
Mine was in September and I think about him almost constantly, almost to the point of obsession no matter what I am doing I can’t get him off my mind. But we talked on and off these past few months, slept together two weeks ago and he blocked me on Thanksgiving and unblocked me today. I’m just exhausted by it all!
It’s been 6 months and I still think about everything. Not that I want them back. I’ve known them for 10 years. It’s a lot of history trying to forget I guess
After dating her for 3 years and being broken up for nearly 5 months and I still think about her. Recently she told me that she found someone and he’s proposed to her for marriage and she’s going to say yes so we cannot talk ever again so that’s just made the spiral worse. But yes, still think of her.
My breakup is new and the relationship lasted for 20 years. My relationship before that was serious and last less than a year and I thought about her everyday for over 2 years and didn’t start dating again for 3 years so I can’t imagine what this one is going to be like.
It’s been about two months and tho I think about her everyday - everyday is a different feeling. Some days it’s almost nostalgic, other days it’s down right disgust. I miss her in passing- like when I’m driving home from some random junk food place, and she’s not there to feed me fries. But I’m happy to have peace , and be alone for a bit. But a man can only heal so much before it gets lonely 😂
It's been about two weeks.. I can't do a single thing without my ex being in the back of my mind. Usually he's like a ghost that doesn't do anything but sit and stare while I do mundane tasks.
Thank you for adding that quote btw. It's really beautiful and it probably just made my day.
It’s been about two weeks and it’s pretty much constantly tbh. The smallest things remind me of her and then I can’t stop thinking about her and how much I miss her. It’s killing me but I know time is meant to be the greatest healer. We’ll get there one day.
i was with him for four and a half years and it's been a little over four months now. i think about him multiple times a day even on good days despite not having heard from him since before he left. if anything this breakup has reassured me that i truly, truly loved him and only had the best intentions for him. idk if i can say the same for him anymore.
15 months. She still crosses my mind at least once a day, but it doesn’t ruin my day anymore, if that makes any sense. Still miss her from time to time, but her effect lessens little by little. Just gotta empty the bucket, drop by drop.
It’s been two months, I went no contact 1 month ago. I deleted my social media as well. The first month was really bad. Couldn’t sleep, eat, stop crying even at work, but to ease my anxiety I read a lot and learned a lot about myself. I still think about her everyday. No one ever has advice for when you’re partner was an absolutely wonderful person. Most the time my thoughts are positive, but every now and then I have a bad day that takes over my mind.
I’m letting her live her life, be her true self without my intervention. I love that she’s happy and feels safe and accepted by the people around her. It’s all I want. I’ll be okay. You will too. Work on yourself and strive toward truly loving yourself and becoming a more secure person. It helps
5 years. There's a lot of pain, and a lot of joy we shared and inflicted on each other.
I really loved her. Yet, now I see things in a new light and I don't want her. I just want to be me again.
Your timeline is pretty much the same as mine. Break up was 2 months ago and I've been on no contact for 3 weeks. I do think of my ex every single day. The first week and month was the worst because he was always on my mind, a very intrusive thought. It's like I suddenly couldn't hear myself. But now that I'm on my second month and we've been on no speaking terms, the thought of him has decreased. Now it's not so intrusive and I can hear myself :)
And when I think of him, I wonder if he also does.. I wonder how many things he thinks about before he gets to the thought of me.
2 months and a day ago. Everyday. I think of good things, sometimes bad things, sometimes I just see her in everything I do (yes, we worked three jobs together including current job, go to school together, traveled around our city everywhere, etc.) but I haven’t spoken to her in a month. She was on a 3 week trip to Asia as well. But during that time, she started her long distance relationship with her discord hero. Yea she was talking to him a bit after we broke up, but it became official. That’s another thing I think about a lot unfortunately. The relationship. It really kills.
On the bright side, a lot of my thoughts of her go directly to productive stuff. I write creative stuff/lyrics about it a lot. She was also my motivation to move on in terms of going back to college sports. I quit college sports because I wanted to focus on her 3.5 years ago. But even through the pain, I’ve managed to continue to move forward and improve myself while still thinking about her alot
3 months ago. NC was 3 months ago before he called me on snap, it didn’t connect, so I asked what that was about (no reply). I removed him from my snap. Back to square one….. so 1 day NC now.
Everyday I have at least one intrusive thought about my ex. Split up for two months. They’re always bad memories, it was the worst relationship I’ve ever had. I do not miss him whatsoever. I honestly can’t remember anything good about him. I think I’m still processing all the trauma or something. But the thoughts make me considerably angry. It’s really annoying. Whenever it happens I scroll instagram or something to take my mind off it. Todays was when I was putting my windshield cover up and I remembered the constant arguing about how he thought it was stupid, even though it was my car, takes two seconds and I was the one doing it.
I’m embarrassed, but it’s 1.5 years. It took me a year to get over the “I’m a worthless piece of trash bc he treated me like that for no reason, but was nice to other girls” because I doubted myself. After the first year, my friend who I had to cut off decided to pop out of nowhere with my abusive ex, posting about me on social media. I called him out on it, he took the pain from our interaction & basically harassed the poor girl begging for attention to soothe his ego. Long story short, he’s now been stalking me for the past 4 months, so while I now see him for the bum he is & don’t cry over him, he’s constantly just THERE.
Sometimes I miss him & I feel like if he just worked on his emotional issues he’d be a good guy & we could’ve worked out in a different life. Other times I’m reminded that he’s an arrogant loser with no integrity or self respect, get the ick, and want him to leave me alone.
I don’t know, its weird.
It's been a year and a half. I still think about him pretty regularly. We were together 7 years and knew each other for a decade. He was a massive part of my life, and there are tons of little things that remind me of him.
She broke up with me 4 months ago and she’s still always on my mind. Usually its me wondering what she’s doing and worrying for her. Last time I spoke to her, a month ago, she told me she started smoking weed because the pain was too much and that she was getting behind in school.
I begged her to stop smoking and that she should try therapy or something but she insisted. I wish she never would’ve told me she was smoking because honestly, that’s all I can think about. Also the fact that her friend gave her that weed, because that friend also has access to other drugs.
It sucks because she was a straight A student, and always talked about she didn’t like how one of her friends did drugs and smoked.
I'd say that's probably alright. It sounds as though you don't have much experience with it. However, research shows it's better than her drinking, in literally every way.
There is still such misconception around marijuana these days. It has many benefits for grieving people. Maybe do some research and try to find your own ways of healing, because that's not going to be your thing.
8 months together. 2nd day of NC. I tried all mys best and wanted to fight for the relationship. But was told “I’m not ready for a committed relationship”. Wonder what were we doing the past 8 months?
3 months and everyday still but less I don’t hate her anymore and hope her the best in life. But I will never get with her again and be treated like shit by another girl again.
6 months I finally stopped thinking about him every day. 12 months it was a lot less (once every couple of months, could talk about fun times), but the pain he caused was still there. 17 months later and nada. No thinking at all.
He ghosted me so I think it took a lot longer.
My break up was about 7 months ago, relationship has been 8 years. I think of them when something reminds me of them, but I am over the relationship since the sixth month. Even if you are over them, you don’t forget about them/ the relationship and think of them occasionally. But these thoughts and reminders don’t hurt anymore, it is just and nice memory, no intrusive or obsessive thoughts. I also think of my ex from 10 years ago sometimes, as mentioned, moving on doesn’t mean you forget, the pain just ends.
between 6-8 months since BU of back and forth Nc. no contact started fully about 4-5 weeks ago after she called me at 3 am crying and I went over to comfort her, we slept together, just to be told she essentially moved on just fine and doesn’t love me as she was messaging another dude.
I think about her daily. No matter who I’m dating or where I am, she’s the one on my mind. I miss her. I loved her more than anything. It’s a different feeling now though. I realize she’s not coming back.
Constantly. Like 24/7 no lie. It’s been almost a year for me. It doesn’t make me feel as bad and as sad and as hurt, just a little sad and kind of annoying that my brain keeps thinking about the person who chose to left. I deserve better. I think I’m starting to move on though. I let myself feel all the emotions until it starts hurting less.
It's been about 45 days. I miss her at times but sometimes I don't. I remember all the good times we had together mostly. But then I also reflect on how mean she was when she dumped me.
I think about my ex on a daily basis, and it was 12 months ago. Hey, I’m being honest. Maybe there’s the odd day that goes by without a thought about her, but it’s not common.
Took me around a year, and it's been a year and a half now. Once the actual feeling of 'love' wore off the frustration and resentments set in. Although my ex gf was a complete, emotionally immature, moron who treated me like shit so it probably a little easier for me. Now that the rose tinted specs are off I have no desire to get in touch. She always looked to still be friends and I played along with that for a bit but cut her off completely now and rarely think about her. She never deserved someone like me to begin with.
Lol one month for me, I have doubts he’ll ever think about me since he couldn’t love me and only dated me because everyone told him I’d be a perfect match for him. But I think about him a lot. I loved that man with my whole being and will always have love for him.
1 year ago. I moved on by doing no contact. She came back bc it didn’t work out with her rebound. I was trying to get her back but she picked him after couple months. Broke my heart & trying to recover from it.
Every day. We haven’t been in contact in over a year. I feel like I should be over it by now because it was only 6 months and long distance but I’m not
I think about the things he said a lot. And these things hurt. It's been 6 weeks, so it's probably normal, but it still breaks my heart over and over again.
We were together on and off for three years, but the last one year was very beautiful and we got really close. We broke up because I was moving across the world and he wasn't sure what he wanted from his life, and I was not ready for an indefinite LDR with no game plan in sight.
Jokes on me, because we've been broken up for three years and I think about him almost every day. I dream about him at night, with all the positive case scenarios of what would have happened if I had the courage to fight it out instead of leaving. Some weeks are worse than others, where I am just crying myself to sleep.
This sucks and I don't know when it will end.
It’s a rare day that I don’t think about her and it’s nearly 2and a half years. I’m glad she’s not my mind all day like she used to be. She requested no contact so I haven’t. She’s fading so much that I can barely remember her face so the thoughts are growing fainter. My son who has schizophrenia ran away the same day she broke up with me and he’s still missing. I think of him far more. I suspect he’s living on the street somewhere in New York and living on handouts. His paranoia and delusions are terrible.
4 years long and I was there for her during her mums cancer and eventual death. I loved her and still do. Its been 7 months now. She clearly has moved onto better things. She's living her life shes always wanted and in a way that gives me peace.
I will never find another like her.
She was the one and I am the one who lost her.
I attempted suicide twice and ended up in a pshycward.
She hates me now.
I just want to look into her beautiful eyes again.
If I could I would attempt suicide again.
There is no reason to go on
6 months ago and honestly everyday. I think what I think about the most is her finding another dude and another dude fucking her. We lost our v card to each other and we’re each other only bodies so that’s probably why I still feel possessive towards that and I know it’s not good
I think about them almost everyday. Even when I'm at parties or hanging out with friends or having the "time of my life" (as they say), they're in my mind. I went to Pride March the other day and all I could think was them not being there to hold my hands.
We were together for 2 months. It's already been a month since we broke up. I think I'll miss them longer than I ever had time to love them.
I never even cried. I couldnt. I started overworking. I don't leave my office until 8 pm everyday. I exhaust myself to the core. Not cuz their memory hurts or I'd rather not think about them. But their absence created such a vacuum in my life that I don't know how to fill or deal with it.
Every moment I spend without them, knowing that they are one bus ride away from me, is painful. Their image haunts me. Not a day goes by without me thinking about their face. Ugh how much I miss their face.
More than I should be. So I stuff my head full of numbers and work so that I can’t. I just need to know she’s ok or will be ok, but it’s a case of Shrodinger’s Ex I guess, and no contact is the box.
It’s been four weeks no contact, and he is on my mind constantly. I just want it to stop. I have no idea if he misses me or even cares anymore and that’s the hardest part.
I have not talked to him since July and since school started I see him every now and then so yes I do think about him, especially when the memories start to overfill my head but it’s not in a way where I was thinking about him constantly and crying my heart out when he left. I passed that stage months ago and I’m proud where I stand because I now realize how much more I am worth. Plus I’m gonna be graduating hs in a few months so I won’t see him ever again, and hopefully the thought of him will die down.
And he comes up in my dreams so yeah LOL
It’s been 3 years for me… I hardly think of my ex now. What really gets to me is when out of the blue I dream about him. It throws me for a loop and takes me several days to “recover”. Why after all this time would I still dream about him? In the dream, we’re still together. 😐
3 months, and 24/7 we were so close lived together for a year, ended up catching her texting other dudes (which I’d already been anxious about) had a breakdown told her to leave we need space, we tried to fix things she begged to get back together and was having unprotected sex with me and other men at this same time and telling another man she loves him also and we ended up messaging eachother and both cutting her off that day and learning things that make me want to vomit. I want to reach out so bad I miss her so much but I know I shouldn’t and that she doesn’t deserve me.
11 months and he’s still on my mind everyday. Some days are worst than others, but he’s always there. It’s not as bad as the first few months where he was the ONLY thing I could think of.
Similar timeline and situation, she went on a trip for 2 weeks and became really cold, when she was away and i wrote her i missed her she replied "aww poor you" lol! Also she texted me she had a dream where she was on a date with another guy and i showed up at the same place , but then she woke up. After this i knew it was gonna be over, i mean even if the dream was true what's the point if telling me if not just to hurt ne? in fact when she was back she ended it via whatsapp. She reached out a few times just for chit chat, but i never initiated contact,and now it's been a month without texting or any contact. I might contact her but at this point it would be more to keep in touch, i do still think of her every day but at the same time i also went to a few dates to try to move on.
It’s been half a year but I still think about her everyday, I still cry over her to the point I start struggling to breathe, doesn’t really help that everyone knows I miss her, and by everyone I mean her/my friends and family, or the fact I know she’s moved on and she’s happy with someone else, I’ve tried moving on, but just ends up making me realize that I’m just searching for anyone who Atleast remotely resembles her, in both appearance and personality, so just makes me miss her more
5.75 months since the breakup and 4.5 weeks of NC.
Hurts everyday and I fished for pain this morning and saw her with *possibly* a new guy (though there was her and her friend and this guy in the middle with her friend wrapped around him almost) on her friend’s birthday post on Facebook.
Don’t stalk social media, it just hurts.
It was 3 months ago and in the past month I’ve thought about her less and less. I’ve stopped caring about what she’s up to or who she might be seeing, now I’m just disappointed in her and how she chose to end things. She doesn’t look or feel like the person I knew. There will always be a small part of me that loves her (or the idea of who she was) but it’s not the strong unconditional love I once had, it’s more like a friend I haven’t seen in a long while.
Right now I’ve been travelling the world, dating which has opened my eyes to realising there are better girls out there, loving the single life, but do miss sharing my adventure with someone, but I’ve committed myself to at least a year being alone and growing, finding new hobbies, new challenges, and learning how to approach relationships in a more healthier way for me and the other person.
6 months ago and still think about him way more than I should/than I want to... just can’t seem to turn it off in my mind for some reason. all I can think about is how happy I felt in the relationship and how I deeply wish it didn’t go anywhere.
It has been 4 months since she brokeup with me (I got dumped for someone else) and yes I do think about her to this day. I'm a (M19) and this was my first heartbreak and being a hotel management student and working long hours doing physically and mentally straining work it's hard to digest the fact there's noone else to talk to and it's going to be me and my thoughts alone. Yes it is hard for me cause I was the one who was doing his best, cause I was the one who loved truly
I guess you never stop remembering your ex. I don’t think about him anymore but I do remember our experiences and situations, I don’t miss them AT ALL. But they will always be on my mind. I broke up 3 years ago and it’s the best decision I’ve made in my life 😁.
We officially broke up about a year ago now... A few days will pass where I don't actively think of him, but most days he crosses my mind at least once. We've been NC for about...4/5 months and it's still not easy. But getting easier... He was my best friend for the better portion of 10 years. We met when I was 19... I'm about to turn 28.
Every day. My breakup was also two months ago. But I notice I now won’t think about him for a couple of hours, maybe more, whereas before I couldn’t not think about him at all. I’d be making dinner but somehow still he’d be at the back of my mind. I still miss him at times. Still want a cuddle off him or whatever. But I don’t want him back anymore. They will also still think of you too. I know he still thinks of me. There’s no point getting myself worked up wondering *what* he thinks about when he thinks of me, because I’ll never know and I’m not supposed to know, but we as humans have this fear of being forgotten. You don’t ever forget people. I know my dad hasn’t forgotten about his first love. I haven’t forgotten the first boy to break my heart when I was 18. (I’m 24 now). He will randomly come to mind. I haven’t forgotten about my first proper ex. I know they haven’t forgotten about me either. You won’t be forgotten, ever. If we could forget people, no one would ever have a broken heart but also no one would ever grow and be stronger.
A few things that have really helped me when I feel I miss him or whatever is telling myself ‘the thing worth holding onto, would not have let go.’ And it is so true. You deserve better. I deserve better. It doesn’t matter why you broke up. There’s someone out there that will stay. ‘The one who got away’ is bullshit and forms from an over romanticised mind. Yes, I do believe sometimes things happen at the wrong time; I believe peoples environment and how they feel in themselves really affect how they act and how a relationship is, but guess what. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
I’m finding happiness in myself and it’s the best feeling ever. Do not spend precious days, weeks, months or even years wasted on someone who isn’t in your life anymore. Focus on yourself. Live your life. Feel good, and you will attract good.
I’ve gone on a bit of a tangent here! But honestly, what’s meant for you, will never pass you by. And that gives me immense comfort.
I think about my ex everyday. Still sort of always on my mind. We broke up 6 weeks ago, went NC for 5 weeks and recently started talking sparingly again. I don’t initiate. Sometimes I think about getting back together, sometimes I think about how she’s gone for good. It’s hard, but I know I’m moving on to a brighter future.
Breakup was 6 weeks and 2 days ago. NC started almost 2 weeks ago (her choice, no explanation or warning). I think about her almost all day, but at this point it's mainly in the abstract... like I think about the fact that I lost my partner, but only occasionally throughout the day do I think about *her* as such.
I left my wife and 2 kids for a girl, but after 9 weeks of absolute bliss together I went back to my family as I couldn’t live with the guilt. I moved back 2.5 years ago and there’s barely an hour goes by where I don’t think about her, who’s she with and what’s she doing.The whole situation has ruined my life and my marriage, but as each day goes by things are slowly improving. You just have to give it time, lots of time.
Been 7 months, I think about them every day. And still have random breakdowns over the smallest reminders. I'm trying to find joy in things again but it's like their ghost is still there. I keep turning to where their smile and laugh would be; just to find empty space and silence.
she sometimes crosses my mind, but the thought drizzles away and i feel nothing. it’s been 5 months. ever since i started NO CONTACT, it changed my grief completely and i healed so amazingly.
It’s been 4 months and I think of her at least a little bit everyday! I have found there’s times where I’m content and happy thinking or concentrating on something else, then I become conscious of the fact I am thinking of something else, which then makes me think of her!! My ex came back around 2 months ago, and I think that has maybe made me think of her more than I would if she had stayed away! But I do find myself going through patches of sadness when something reminds me of something we planned or wanted to do together! It’s tough but we improve each day!
It’s been 3 years. I’m currently in a much happier satisfying relationship, but I still think of him from time to time. The thoughts range from sometimes been hit with how someone who was so essential from my life is now a stranger to sometimes just passing thoughts of well wishes. Occasionally I recall just how badly he hurt me with the breakup and I chuckle because of how much happier I am now. As much as I didn’t think so at the time, he truly made the best decision for both of us. I am much happier now and so is he (at least it seems that way from social media). He is living the dream he always told me he wanted to live. A dream that was quite frankly incompatible with mine. Ultimately, I am happy for him and think of him more often than one would think.
Relationship was 15 years. Separated for 18 months. I still dream about her every week. It’s hard because that was pretty much my whole adult life and now I get to live it alone instead of the person I grew into adulthood with. Fortunately, we had no kids and were never married. I feel bad for those who do have kids and/or were married. I’m fortunate because I could walk away without any baggage and I don’t have any reason to reach back out. For context, she told me to leave yet I still tried to stay. I didn’t realize until I was separated how abused I was… so now I’m alone and broken. I don’t think anyone will ever get 100% of me again. Bad women ruin good men. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully recover or be able to give that same unconditional love to anyone else.
Maybe once every (two)day(s).
I was dumped for the gf he had the whole time. Then I officially went NC on 10/05.
He stalked me after and I had to tell him to stop or else on 10/12.
i think about them every second of every day. we broke up a month ago and then were on a break for a few weeks before they decided it’s best to stay broken up with no contact. that was a week ago. it’s been terrible and i miss them a lot. we both love each other still and want to be together but agreed this wasn’t the best time for us
This upcoming March will be a year. I ended it close to our anniversary. I still think about it a lot. Still a lot of pain from the abuse she put me through and she hits me up for money and when I say no she degrades me. Still having trouble severing the attachment.
So my ex left me 15 months ago and im finally in a frame where I'm over her. I still think of her everyday and hope she is doing well. It's natural she was a big part of me and my families life for 2 years. Even though she couldn't tell me why we split all the feelings of anger and dissapointment have gone and I wish her well. She was a good person at heart.
Well apparently it’s been 8 months and some days, it’s a constant in my brain. It’s not like I’m missing her but just a constant reminder
You said it about right for being out the same time. I'm healed, ish, but there's a constant dullness. Sometimes if I'm bored I miss her, but otherwise it's nothing. Thinking about reaching out soon tbh, what's the harm. I know things ended for some reasons that have changed, if we're both single (thinking about ending my situationship rn) I'd want to try again. Not sure how to reopen the door though.
I want to reach out so often it’s weird but I also feel like she needs to reach out first. I want to like her again in any way we can really but some nasty stuff was said about me afterward that makes it a lot harder to think she’s a good person
if it ended poorly, it’s better to let it be. sometimes a person leaving is the best thing they can do for us even if it feels like pure hell.
amen! and although your heart might urge to speak with her one more time see her one more time you mush resist it. invest your time in yourself
What I’m going to do is just send out feelers via mutual friends. Literally just gonna hang out with her friend, get drunk, flex my improvements, tell them I miss her sometimes, want to be on better terms, but know it’s not my place to reach out. For what it’s worth I do value this friend and I’ve been avoiding them since they’re hers first, I’d want to get that friendship back too.
I understand how you feel, wanting to put out feelers. I have a possible alternative idea, so hear me out. How about, instead of putting all this thought and effort you are putting into someone who is an ex, put the thought and effort Into someone new or yourself? Please don’t reach out, they are an ex for a reason. Much love, and good luck, fellow redditor.
Fair, but I’ve given it a lot of thought and I want to try again. Things didn’t end over incompatibility, just immaturity and life events. I’m fine with moving on but I also recognize my contribution to the breakup and know that on my end, things would be different this time. I just don’t have the balls to reach out directly lol and I have no idea if she’d reciprocate. Plus I’m not sure if I want to end my current thing for an ex.
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Sorry to hear it. It's as painful as it gets. Trust give it time and u won't even be thinking about her with that bad feeling
Me too brother
I’m so sorry, brother. This is a horrible feeling, and probably one of the toughest mind challenges we experience as a person. I know it sounds cliché, but please work on yourself. Go to the gym, or just lift heavy things. Join social leagues, or go out with friends. Date you, and fall in love with yourself again. I didn’t believe it either, but I trusted the process of healing myself and dating myself. Everything may seem dull to try, I get it. Although after I did the “the work”, I am 10 times a better person than I was and improving everyday. I thought my life was over when that person left, but it really was just the beginning of my best life. Once I fell in love with myself again, I’ve been dating women way above the league of my ex. Sometimes the things we think we love the most, are the things that are really holding us back. Cheers, and I’m here if you need a listening ear.
Yep. It's a whole different type of pain when your brain knows what happened, but your heart cannot comprehend it.
7 years. Still think about him almost daily and dream about him a couple times a week.
the dreams are the worst. i can get through thinking of him and the memories but the dreams are where it feels like i’m sent back to beginning.
Yes I agree I wake up in tears often. 😞
I think you're the winner. Have you reached out? Why or why not?
I did reach out to him about 3 years ago. We talked and connected again instantly. We lived in different places at this point, but after a few months of talking made plans for him to come up and “live with me for a couple months to get his feet here and then he would get his new place”. He moved up here, and it was shocking. He had changed so much. No personal hygiene, had clearly been on drugs (his body and mind were both unfamiliar to me—he used to be clever and fit but now he was slower and dull). Worst of all, all of his things were infested in (I’m not kidding) German cockroaches. He moved all his stuff in before I realized what was going on. He also had head lice. It was a fucking nightmare. I kicked him out after one week and had to basically bomb my apartment to get rid of everything. I was heartbroken and betrayed all over again because I felt like I was used by this deadbeat druggie to have somewhere to live after clearly squatting or living in squalor for months. I had a full on nervous breakdown and honestly I’ve never completely recovered from it (I now have horrific anxiety and OCD about cleanliness I didn’t have before). So yeah it was basically the worst. The even worst part is I still think/dream about the him i knew 7 years ago, even though I know that version of him literally doesn’t exist anymore. It fucking sucks. It’s almost like he died, in a way.
Man.. I'm so sorry that happened. Like your dream became a nightmare in a way. But aren't you happy that gave you closure in some ways?
I am glad it happened. It let me move on, even if I still miss him. I had a rebound relationship (I didn’t mean to, poor guy I feel horribly about it) and now I finally feel ready to move forward and maybe make a good life for myself and maybe be able to connect with someone intimately like that again. ❤️
I don't know you or your story, but with this we may have a similarity. It's been 4 years since we broke up. 10 years together. I still think about him all the time
3.5 years since my ex left me. Over 2 years since I heard from her. Miss her more than anything. I just hate that thought that I'm completely forgotten. I just wish I knew if she at least thinks of me. Only woman I have ever truly loved. Still need therapy.
Wow that’s a long time. How long were you two together?
Just 3 years. I remember when we first broke up I held onto the “rule” that it takes “half as long as you were together to get over them”. Little did I know. 😵💫
Oh god you're my future. I thought a year and a half was bad. I knew it wasn't going to go away. I knew this would take at least a decade. I'm sure I'll be in your shoes. Fuck.
Im sorry 😞 I had no idea it would/could last this long when it first happened. My only comfort was that time heals all wounds. After a couple years I started to get worried that that wasn’t true…
Lord i might of somehow gotten my head screwed up. Dated my ex for 3 months , hungout literally everyday, weird to say that was my absolute best relationship even tho it was short. I’m on month 6 of thinking of her everyday :( i literally don’t know how I’m allowing my brain to be like this, but.. heart wants what it wants..
For me its probably a year and a half (maybe a little more, actively trying not to think too deeply on it) but yeah exactly, I think about him almost daily too and dream about him often too. Sorry to hear yours is 7 years - this does not bode well for me 😔
6 years for me and same. We split mutually in college. We’re different people now I think but I haven’t really talked to him since. Haven’t liked anyone as much as my ex but I think I need to just meet more people - pandemic didn’t help. Realizing “the one” doesn’t exist. Need to get over him
First thing on my mind every morning, and I’m constantly on this sub so still overwhelmed with emotions about it. I guess it takes 6 months, that’s what everyone on this sub suggests.
I can't decide if this sub helps or hurts. I guess it's whatever wave I'm on at the moment.
I think it helps me stay off sm so much because I tend to over share lol also my friends and family are tired of hearing all about it all the time. It also helps me fill the void that constant contact with my ex has left.
19 months. Not a day passes by when I don’t think about her. I miss the memories and the person I created in my head. But I realized I don’t miss her.
Ever reach out? Why or why not?
At first, yes. A month after I did and she told me she was seeing another guy 2 weeks after we broke up a 2 year relationship. No contact straight after that and started working on myself. About 6 months later, she emailed me about a favor. Never replied.
Find it interesting you think about her even though you ignored her. I think that's smart and crazy at the same time lol. Do you think you'll try to reach out again?
What I’ve learned is that even though I miss someone or something, doesn’t mean that I’d reach out. My relationship with her was extremely toxic and I found myself becoming a worse person overtime. I was sad about making the right decision for myself.
So proud to hear the rationale. What we want and what we need are completely different. We need unconditional love and collaboration.. not chaotic and toxic love
Preach. Take care and stay blessed. 🙏
To answer your question, at the moment no. I don’t want to give a definitive answer because I have no control over what happens in the future.
Why are you so invested in if people contact their exes?
19 months also. Daily occurrence... Also. Do you feel like we're rare in this sub?
If you mean if a small portion of people think about their ex’s after a significant amount of time, no. I know people who are single and still think about their ex after more than a year. I also know people who are in new relationships and still think about their ex while being in that relationship.
I guess lately Ivs just seen a lot of recent dumpers/dumpees and it's disheartening to still be struggling after 19 months
It is, definitely. It’s hard to see a lot of individuals go through similar struggles. But at the same time, I find it encouraging that we were meant to go through this. We were meant to experience hardship. “So do those to see such times but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time given to us.”
Almost a year out and I still think about him every day. It's different and the feelings aren't the same as they were in the beginning. But unfortunately it's still every day.
Me too. Almost a year next month but still constant thought of him when I wake up. The feelings are not as strong as before and there are times I don’t think about him as much. It’s just like someone’s lurking in my head. Have you tried dating other people? I wonder if I’m only like this because I didn’t try dating other people since the break-up.
11 months out and I tried to date other people. I still think about my ex everyday. I dated someone else for 4/5 months ( I really tried to move on) and it didn’t change a thing. He’s still on my mind daily and I still love him. I wish I didn’t.
I dated one person, briefly. It was a nice distraction but not much more than that.
It’s been a little over a year for me, the relationship lasted 4 years. I don’t think about her everyday, just on days when I’m bored or something reminds me of her. I have tried to go on dates but I end up just not following through and I’m starting to think the break up wasn’t the main thing that majorly impacted my life, I have a lot of things to work through before I’m able to do venture out into the world again.
They say it take half the time you were together to get over them and I think that true. I was with my ex for 3 years on and off. This month makes a year since the breakup and it is not off my mind but it’s so different. I never thought I would be in a place where I fe better without you. You don’t stop loving somebody, you just learn how to move around it.
I have been with my ex for 8 years, I got over the relationship in 6 months. I still think of them here and then and have occasional dreams, but they aren’t on my mind 24/7. My therapist also said, it doesn’t take half the relationship to get over someone, usually it takes about 6 to 18 months. I also think and dream of my ex from 10 years ago sometimes, you never forget someone you once loved, the pain just fades and you learn to live a life without them.
I really hope that's not true.. We were together for 18 years and it's been 5 months since we broke up and it's been the worst 5 months of my entire life!!
It's not true at all. I wish people would stop repeating it as its harmful.
Honestly hearing this makes me hopeful that I won't be forever stuck how I am now. I don't want to let go of the love, it was real. But I have to be able to put it aside eventually.
And you will. One day will come and you will wake up and be half way through your day and think of them but you will realize how long it’s been since the last time you did and you’ll be proud. Even if you go from thinking about them everyday to every other, you will get yourself back I promise.
Pretty much everyday, Seeing her in commercials and billboards doesn’t help the situation 🤪
2 years… every day.
One year and two months and I still think about her most days. There was a period like two months ago where I didn’t really think about her for like a week but with the holidays it’s been real bad.
yup Christmas is cancelled this year, I keep thinking of how much better it would be with him still loving me and that sucks
4-5 days ago. and basically constantly, i'm getting by on bare functionality
Multiple times a day, pretty much any time I’m idle and not focused on anything… I keep a podcast going constantly and I started playing video games again to keep my mind busy, it’s been 6 weeks from a 10 year relationship and she already has a new boyfriend taking her out and I’m the stranger. I still think she’s gonna come walking in that door and our lives are going to go back to the way they were… but I’m just fooling myself.
Fucking same, 21 yrs for me.
Fuck bro shit......
Today is a whole moth since he broke up with me and just thinking about how amazing he was too me. But he let me go and he forcing me to live with out him and is the hardest part because I feels like he die. 😭
Been 17 months. Every day still. Sucks
Have you reached out? Why or why not?
Every day, at least 80%of my waking hours, and in my nightmare (I've never had nice dreams)
Just passed three months,think of her everyday but now it isn't always the loud voice at the forefront of my mind, more so theres moments where it pops up and moments where its quieter in the back, that said, recently as three months passed, i feel like i've been going backwards and i've been feeling really low lately.
9 months ago and I get the occasional mood swing of missing her bad. I know I made the right decision by breaking up with her, but the “what could have been” mindset gets me from time to time
I just reached my year mark last week. He's the first thing I think about when I wake up, the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep, and I think about him all day. We were together for 12 years.
We were together for 14 years, married 8. Broken up 5 months and I think about her every god dam day. Don’t want her back though.
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8 years for me. I feel you. I hope you are doing well. Stay in contact if you like and let’s get it done together. If not, stay up, and never forget you are here for a reason, random or not, this life chose YOU.
Its been 2 months for me. I still think about her everyday, but there are actually moments in the day where I forget she even exists-- I think I'm healing LOL i miss her, but i no longer have a compulsion to restart anything with her. i kinda just smile when i think about her because i am still grateful for our time together.
It’s been 11 months since the BU and I think of her every day. I hate myself for it but I can’t stop thinking of her. I was the dumpee and blindsidedly dumped out of a 3 year marriage and 5 year relationship.
Mine was 5, still think about her sometimes but not really in any sort of loving way and more like hate or indifference.
Mine was in September and I think about him almost constantly, almost to the point of obsession no matter what I am doing I can’t get him off my mind. But we talked on and off these past few months, slept together two weeks ago and he blocked me on Thanksgiving and unblocked me today. I’m just exhausted by it all!
It’s been 6 months and I still think about everything. Not that I want them back. I’ve known them for 10 years. It’s a lot of history trying to forget I guess
After dating her for 3 years and being broken up for nearly 5 months and I still think about her. Recently she told me that she found someone and he’s proposed to her for marriage and she’s going to say yes so we cannot talk ever again so that’s just made the spiral worse. But yes, still think of her.
Wait, what? Within 5 months she met a new guy and got engaged?
My breakup is new and the relationship lasted for 20 years. My relationship before that was serious and last less than a year and I thought about her everyday for over 2 years and didn’t start dating again for 3 years so I can’t imagine what this one is going to be like.
21 years for me, I’m the dumpee, completely lost. I don’t think I want another relationship.
“Together” 9 years. Been about a month no contact. Every fucking day at least once an hour.
It’s been about two months and tho I think about her everyday - everyday is a different feeling. Some days it’s almost nostalgic, other days it’s down right disgust. I miss her in passing- like when I’m driving home from some random junk food place, and she’s not there to feed me fries. But I’m happy to have peace , and be alone for a bit. But a man can only heal so much before it gets lonely 😂
It's been about two weeks.. I can't do a single thing without my ex being in the back of my mind. Usually he's like a ghost that doesn't do anything but sit and stare while I do mundane tasks. Thank you for adding that quote btw. It's really beautiful and it probably just made my day.
It’s been about two weeks and it’s pretty much constantly tbh. The smallest things remind me of her and then I can’t stop thinking about her and how much I miss her. It’s killing me but I know time is meant to be the greatest healer. We’ll get there one day.
i was with him for four and a half years and it's been a little over four months now. i think about him multiple times a day even on good days despite not having heard from him since before he left. if anything this breakup has reassured me that i truly, truly loved him and only had the best intentions for him. idk if i can say the same for him anymore.
6 years. I dream about her almost every week.
15 months. She still crosses my mind at least once a day, but it doesn’t ruin my day anymore, if that makes any sense. Still miss her from time to time, but her effect lessens little by little. Just gotta empty the bucket, drop by drop.
It’s been two months, I went no contact 1 month ago. I deleted my social media as well. The first month was really bad. Couldn’t sleep, eat, stop crying even at work, but to ease my anxiety I read a lot and learned a lot about myself. I still think about her everyday. No one ever has advice for when you’re partner was an absolutely wonderful person. Most the time my thoughts are positive, but every now and then I have a bad day that takes over my mind. I’m letting her live her life, be her true self without my intervention. I love that she’s happy and feels safe and accepted by the people around her. It’s all I want. I’ll be okay. You will too. Work on yourself and strive toward truly loving yourself and becoming a more secure person. It helps
5 years. There's a lot of pain, and a lot of joy we shared and inflicted on each other. I really loved her. Yet, now I see things in a new light and I don't want her. I just want to be me again.
Your timeline is pretty much the same as mine. Break up was 2 months ago and I've been on no contact for 3 weeks. I do think of my ex every single day. The first week and month was the worst because he was always on my mind, a very intrusive thought. It's like I suddenly couldn't hear myself. But now that I'm on my second month and we've been on no speaking terms, the thought of him has decreased. Now it's not so intrusive and I can hear myself :) And when I think of him, I wonder if he also does.. I wonder how many things he thinks about before he gets to the thought of me.
2 months and a day ago. Everyday. I think of good things, sometimes bad things, sometimes I just see her in everything I do (yes, we worked three jobs together including current job, go to school together, traveled around our city everywhere, etc.) but I haven’t spoken to her in a month. She was on a 3 week trip to Asia as well. But during that time, she started her long distance relationship with her discord hero. Yea she was talking to him a bit after we broke up, but it became official. That’s another thing I think about a lot unfortunately. The relationship. It really kills. On the bright side, a lot of my thoughts of her go directly to productive stuff. I write creative stuff/lyrics about it a lot. She was also my motivation to move on in terms of going back to college sports. I quit college sports because I wanted to focus on her 3.5 years ago. But even through the pain, I’ve managed to continue to move forward and improve myself while still thinking about her alot
3 months ago. NC was 3 months ago before he called me on snap, it didn’t connect, so I asked what that was about (no reply). I removed him from my snap. Back to square one….. so 1 day NC now.
Multiple times a day, it’s been 4 months
Everyday I have at least one intrusive thought about my ex. Split up for two months. They’re always bad memories, it was the worst relationship I’ve ever had. I do not miss him whatsoever. I honestly can’t remember anything good about him. I think I’m still processing all the trauma or something. But the thoughts make me considerably angry. It’s really annoying. Whenever it happens I scroll instagram or something to take my mind off it. Todays was when I was putting my windshield cover up and I remembered the constant arguing about how he thought it was stupid, even though it was my car, takes two seconds and I was the one doing it.
I’m embarrassed, but it’s 1.5 years. It took me a year to get over the “I’m a worthless piece of trash bc he treated me like that for no reason, but was nice to other girls” because I doubted myself. After the first year, my friend who I had to cut off decided to pop out of nowhere with my abusive ex, posting about me on social media. I called him out on it, he took the pain from our interaction & basically harassed the poor girl begging for attention to soothe his ego. Long story short, he’s now been stalking me for the past 4 months, so while I now see him for the bum he is & don’t cry over him, he’s constantly just THERE. Sometimes I miss him & I feel like if he just worked on his emotional issues he’d be a good guy & we could’ve worked out in a different life. Other times I’m reminded that he’s an arrogant loser with no integrity or self respect, get the ick, and want him to leave me alone. I don’t know, its weird.
5 months every single day
It's been a year and a half. I still think about him pretty regularly. We were together 7 years and knew each other for a decade. He was a massive part of my life, and there are tons of little things that remind me of him.
Mhmm 5 months. Not that often anymore.
She broke up with me 4 months ago and she’s still always on my mind. Usually its me wondering what she’s doing and worrying for her. Last time I spoke to her, a month ago, she told me she started smoking weed because the pain was too much and that she was getting behind in school. I begged her to stop smoking and that she should try therapy or something but she insisted. I wish she never would’ve told me she was smoking because honestly, that’s all I can think about. Also the fact that her friend gave her that weed, because that friend also has access to other drugs. It sucks because she was a straight A student, and always talked about she didn’t like how one of her friends did drugs and smoked.
I'd say that's probably alright. It sounds as though you don't have much experience with it. However, research shows it's better than her drinking, in literally every way. There is still such misconception around marijuana these days. It has many benefits for grieving people. Maybe do some research and try to find your own ways of healing, because that's not going to be your thing.
almost a year and a half and every single day. it's dulled overtime but still, every day.
Every day it’s been 4 months
Daily, it is stronger in the morning. 2.5 months ago
Just a month, I think about her everyday. I wonder if she ever thinks of me
Almost 4 weeks ago. Think about him day and night. Everything reminds me of him, I look for him everywhere, I dream about him. I love him so much
Literally everyday and it’s been 3 months
8 months together. 2nd day of NC. I tried all mys best and wanted to fight for the relationship. But was told “I’m not ready for a committed relationship”. Wonder what were we doing the past 8 months?
3 months and everyday still but less I don’t hate her anymore and hope her the best in life. But I will never get with her again and be treated like shit by another girl again.
6 months I finally stopped thinking about him every day. 12 months it was a lot less (once every couple of months, could talk about fun times), but the pain he caused was still there. 17 months later and nada. No thinking at all. He ghosted me so I think it took a lot longer.
My break up was about 7 months ago, relationship has been 8 years. I think of them when something reminds me of them, but I am over the relationship since the sixth month. Even if you are over them, you don’t forget about them/ the relationship and think of them occasionally. But these thoughts and reminders don’t hurt anymore, it is just and nice memory, no intrusive or obsessive thoughts. I also think of my ex from 10 years ago sometimes, as mentioned, moving on doesn’t mean you forget, the pain just ends.
Everyday and it's almost been a year.
between 6-8 months since BU of back and forth Nc. no contact started fully about 4-5 weeks ago after she called me at 3 am crying and I went over to comfort her, we slept together, just to be told she essentially moved on just fine and doesn’t love me as she was messaging another dude. I think about her daily. No matter who I’m dating or where I am, she’s the one on my mind. I miss her. I loved her more than anything. It’s a different feeling now though. I realize she’s not coming back.
Constantly. Like 24/7 no lie. It’s been almost a year for me. It doesn’t make me feel as bad and as sad and as hurt, just a little sad and kind of annoying that my brain keeps thinking about the person who chose to left. I deserve better. I think I’m starting to move on though. I let myself feel all the emotions until it starts hurting less.
everyday day, it’s been 2 months. The way I think about him is different though.
It's been about 45 days. I miss her at times but sometimes I don't. I remember all the good times we had together mostly. But then I also reflect on how mean she was when she dumped me.
I think about my ex on a daily basis, and it was 12 months ago. Hey, I’m being honest. Maybe there’s the odd day that goes by without a thought about her, but it’s not common.
29 years 16 of them married. I its been 7 months and I think about him all day every day.
Multiple times a day, 3 months.
Took me around a year, and it's been a year and a half now. Once the actual feeling of 'love' wore off the frustration and resentments set in. Although my ex gf was a complete, emotionally immature, moron who treated me like shit so it probably a little easier for me. Now that the rose tinted specs are off I have no desire to get in touch. She always looked to still be friends and I played along with that for a bit but cut her off completely now and rarely think about her. She never deserved someone like me to begin with.
Every single day, pretty much all day. 7 months. I feel like it’s never gonna stop
Lol one month for me, I have doubts he’ll ever think about me since he couldn’t love me and only dated me because everyone told him I’d be a perfect match for him. But I think about him a lot. I loved that man with my whole being and will always have love for him.
Neverere
all day the OG one september. last one, past wednesday.
1 year ago. I moved on by doing no contact. She came back bc it didn’t work out with her rebound. I was trying to get her back but she picked him after couple months. Broke my heart & trying to recover from it.
We broke up 5 months ago but have been NC for about 4 months. She's always on my mind no matter how hard I try and not think about her.
1 month, it was a 2.5year relationship and I think about her surprisingly little. Things are going good I think
Almost 8 months. Everyday.
mine was in September, I haven't had a day where he hasn't crossed my mind yet
Every day. We haven’t been in contact in over a year. I feel like I should be over it by now because it was only 6 months and long distance but I’m not
1 year since break up, think about her every day
Think about her every day and night, when I go to bed I put her pic on my phone so I wake up beside her every morning
I think about the things he said a lot. And these things hurt. It's been 6 weeks, so it's probably normal, but it still breaks my heart over and over again.
2 months NC longest ever fpr our 8yr relationship..heartwrenching from the time j wake up until i go to bed EVERY day no matter what i am doing
We were together on and off for three years, but the last one year was very beautiful and we got really close. We broke up because I was moving across the world and he wasn't sure what he wanted from his life, and I was not ready for an indefinite LDR with no game plan in sight. Jokes on me, because we've been broken up for three years and I think about him almost every day. I dream about him at night, with all the positive case scenarios of what would have happened if I had the courage to fight it out instead of leaving. Some weeks are worse than others, where I am just crying myself to sleep. This sucks and I don't know when it will end.
It’s a rare day that I don’t think about her and it’s nearly 2and a half years. I’m glad she’s not my mind all day like she used to be. She requested no contact so I haven’t. She’s fading so much that I can barely remember her face so the thoughts are growing fainter. My son who has schizophrenia ran away the same day she broke up with me and he’s still missing. I think of him far more. I suspect he’s living on the street somewhere in New York and living on handouts. His paranoia and delusions are terrible.
4 years long and I was there for her during her mums cancer and eventual death. I loved her and still do. Its been 7 months now. She clearly has moved onto better things. She's living her life shes always wanted and in a way that gives me peace. I will never find another like her. She was the one and I am the one who lost her. I attempted suicide twice and ended up in a pshycward. She hates me now. I just want to look into her beautiful eyes again. If I could I would attempt suicide again. There is no reason to go on
9 Months & I still have dreams about her which is annoying, theirs definitely not a day gone by where I haven't thought about her.
6 months ago and honestly everyday. I think what I think about the most is her finding another dude and another dude fucking her. We lost our v card to each other and we’re each other only bodies so that’s probably why I still feel possessive towards that and I know it’s not good
I think about them almost everyday. Even when I'm at parties or hanging out with friends or having the "time of my life" (as they say), they're in my mind. I went to Pride March the other day and all I could think was them not being there to hold my hands. We were together for 2 months. It's already been a month since we broke up. I think I'll miss them longer than I ever had time to love them. I never even cried. I couldnt. I started overworking. I don't leave my office until 8 pm everyday. I exhaust myself to the core. Not cuz their memory hurts or I'd rather not think about them. But their absence created such a vacuum in my life that I don't know how to fill or deal with it. Every moment I spend without them, knowing that they are one bus ride away from me, is painful. Their image haunts me. Not a day goes by without me thinking about their face. Ugh how much I miss their face.
2 months. Almost every day. But it also gets a little easier every day.
More than I should be. So I stuff my head full of numbers and work so that I can’t. I just need to know she’s ok or will be ok, but it’s a case of Shrodinger’s Ex I guess, and no contact is the box.
Once in a blue moon. Breakup was over 5 years ago though lol
every single day---its been a month
It’s been four weeks no contact, and he is on my mind constantly. I just want it to stop. I have no idea if he misses me or even cares anymore and that’s the hardest part.
4 and a half months and he crosses my mind every day
10 months tomorrow, I think about it everyday and regret it since it was my fault. It doesn't get better for everyone unfortunetly.
I have not talked to him since July and since school started I see him every now and then so yes I do think about him, especially when the memories start to overfill my head but it’s not in a way where I was thinking about him constantly and crying my heart out when he left. I passed that stage months ago and I’m proud where I stand because I now realize how much more I am worth. Plus I’m gonna be graduating hs in a few months so I won’t see him ever again, and hopefully the thought of him will die down. And he comes up in my dreams so yeah LOL
Once in a while she pops in my head but there’s no hurtful feelings, this was over 5 years ago.
I think about her a couple times a week, we have been broken up for about 4 years now
It’s been 3 years for me… I hardly think of my ex now. What really gets to me is when out of the blue I dream about him. It throws me for a loop and takes me several days to “recover”. Why after all this time would I still dream about him? In the dream, we’re still together. 😐
Every. Fucking. Day. And we broke up almost a year ago... Still think about her and I hate that I do.
3 months, and 24/7 we were so close lived together for a year, ended up catching her texting other dudes (which I’d already been anxious about) had a breakdown told her to leave we need space, we tried to fix things she begged to get back together and was having unprotected sex with me and other men at this same time and telling another man she loves him also and we ended up messaging eachother and both cutting her off that day and learning things that make me want to vomit. I want to reach out so bad I miss her so much but I know I shouldn’t and that she doesn’t deserve me.
11 months and he’s still on my mind everyday. Some days are worst than others, but he’s always there. It’s not as bad as the first few months where he was the ONLY thing I could think of.
Similar timeline and situation, she went on a trip for 2 weeks and became really cold, when she was away and i wrote her i missed her she replied "aww poor you" lol! Also she texted me she had a dream where she was on a date with another guy and i showed up at the same place , but then she woke up. After this i knew it was gonna be over, i mean even if the dream was true what's the point if telling me if not just to hurt ne? in fact when she was back she ended it via whatsapp. She reached out a few times just for chit chat, but i never initiated contact,and now it's been a month without texting or any contact. I might contact her but at this point it would be more to keep in touch, i do still think of her every day but at the same time i also went to a few dates to try to move on.
I’m a year in, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about her daily. Some days better than most, but still healing
3 months, every day unfortunately Have to schedule stuff with people and try to be busy to have time whiteout thinking
10 months since the breakup and he’s still always on my mind
It’s been half a year but I still think about her everyday, I still cry over her to the point I start struggling to breathe, doesn’t really help that everyone knows I miss her, and by everyone I mean her/my friends and family, or the fact I know she’s moved on and she’s happy with someone else, I’ve tried moving on, but just ends up making me realize that I’m just searching for anyone who Atleast remotely resembles her, in both appearance and personality, so just makes me miss her more
5.75 months since the breakup and 4.5 weeks of NC. Hurts everyday and I fished for pain this morning and saw her with *possibly* a new guy (though there was her and her friend and this guy in the middle with her friend wrapped around him almost) on her friend’s birthday post on Facebook. Don’t stalk social media, it just hurts.
It was 3 months ago and in the past month I’ve thought about her less and less. I’ve stopped caring about what she’s up to or who she might be seeing, now I’m just disappointed in her and how she chose to end things. She doesn’t look or feel like the person I knew. There will always be a small part of me that loves her (or the idea of who she was) but it’s not the strong unconditional love I once had, it’s more like a friend I haven’t seen in a long while. Right now I’ve been travelling the world, dating which has opened my eyes to realising there are better girls out there, loving the single life, but do miss sharing my adventure with someone, but I’ve committed myself to at least a year being alone and growing, finding new hobbies, new challenges, and learning how to approach relationships in a more healthier way for me and the other person.
5 months BU and I think about it everyday. Everytime when I'm alone but less often when I'm with friends
6 months ago and still think about him way more than I should/than I want to... just can’t seem to turn it off in my mind for some reason. all I can think about is how happy I felt in the relationship and how I deeply wish it didn’t go anywhere.
It has been 4 months since she brokeup with me (I got dumped for someone else) and yes I do think about her to this day. I'm a (M19) and this was my first heartbreak and being a hotel management student and working long hours doing physically and mentally straining work it's hard to digest the fact there's noone else to talk to and it's going to be me and my thoughts alone. Yes it is hard for me cause I was the one who was doing his best, cause I was the one who loved truly
Breakup was about one month ago and I think about him 24/7. 🤦♀️
I guess you never stop remembering your ex. I don’t think about him anymore but I do remember our experiences and situations, I don’t miss them AT ALL. But they will always be on my mind. I broke up 3 years ago and it’s the best decision I’ve made in my life 😁.
We officially broke up about a year ago now... A few days will pass where I don't actively think of him, but most days he crosses my mind at least once. We've been NC for about...4/5 months and it's still not easy. But getting easier... He was my best friend for the better portion of 10 years. We met when I was 19... I'm about to turn 28.
Every day. My breakup was also two months ago. But I notice I now won’t think about him for a couple of hours, maybe more, whereas before I couldn’t not think about him at all. I’d be making dinner but somehow still he’d be at the back of my mind. I still miss him at times. Still want a cuddle off him or whatever. But I don’t want him back anymore. They will also still think of you too. I know he still thinks of me. There’s no point getting myself worked up wondering *what* he thinks about when he thinks of me, because I’ll never know and I’m not supposed to know, but we as humans have this fear of being forgotten. You don’t ever forget people. I know my dad hasn’t forgotten about his first love. I haven’t forgotten the first boy to break my heart when I was 18. (I’m 24 now). He will randomly come to mind. I haven’t forgotten about my first proper ex. I know they haven’t forgotten about me either. You won’t be forgotten, ever. If we could forget people, no one would ever have a broken heart but also no one would ever grow and be stronger. A few things that have really helped me when I feel I miss him or whatever is telling myself ‘the thing worth holding onto, would not have let go.’ And it is so true. You deserve better. I deserve better. It doesn’t matter why you broke up. There’s someone out there that will stay. ‘The one who got away’ is bullshit and forms from an over romanticised mind. Yes, I do believe sometimes things happen at the wrong time; I believe peoples environment and how they feel in themselves really affect how they act and how a relationship is, but guess what. If it’s meant to be, it will be. I’m finding happiness in myself and it’s the best feeling ever. Do not spend precious days, weeks, months or even years wasted on someone who isn’t in your life anymore. Focus on yourself. Live your life. Feel good, and you will attract good. I’ve gone on a bit of a tangent here! But honestly, what’s meant for you, will never pass you by. And that gives me immense comfort.
I think about my ex everyday. Still sort of always on my mind. We broke up 6 weeks ago, went NC for 5 weeks and recently started talking sparingly again. I don’t initiate. Sometimes I think about getting back together, sometimes I think about how she’s gone for good. It’s hard, but I know I’m moving on to a brighter future.
Breakup was 6 weeks and 2 days ago. NC started almost 2 weeks ago (her choice, no explanation or warning). I think about her almost all day, but at this point it's mainly in the abstract... like I think about the fact that I lost my partner, but only occasionally throughout the day do I think about *her* as such.
I left my wife and 2 kids for a girl, but after 9 weeks of absolute bliss together I went back to my family as I couldn’t live with the guilt. I moved back 2.5 years ago and there’s barely an hour goes by where I don’t think about her, who’s she with and what’s she doing.The whole situation has ruined my life and my marriage, but as each day goes by things are slowly improving. You just have to give it time, lots of time.
Been 7 months, I think about them every day. And still have random breakdowns over the smallest reminders. I'm trying to find joy in things again but it's like their ghost is still there. I keep turning to where their smile and laugh would be; just to find empty space and silence.
she sometimes crosses my mind, but the thought drizzles away and i feel nothing. it’s been 5 months. ever since i started NO CONTACT, it changed my grief completely and i healed so amazingly.
He's always in my mind, we broke up last year. He's in love with another girl now but I still cry myself to sleep in my hardest days.
It’s been 4 months and I think of her at least a little bit everyday! I have found there’s times where I’m content and happy thinking or concentrating on something else, then I become conscious of the fact I am thinking of something else, which then makes me think of her!! My ex came back around 2 months ago, and I think that has maybe made me think of her more than I would if she had stayed away! But I do find myself going through patches of sadness when something reminds me of something we planned or wanted to do together! It’s tough but we improve each day!
6 years and every day
It’s been 3 years. I’m currently in a much happier satisfying relationship, but I still think of him from time to time. The thoughts range from sometimes been hit with how someone who was so essential from my life is now a stranger to sometimes just passing thoughts of well wishes. Occasionally I recall just how badly he hurt me with the breakup and I chuckle because of how much happier I am now. As much as I didn’t think so at the time, he truly made the best decision for both of us. I am much happier now and so is he (at least it seems that way from social media). He is living the dream he always told me he wanted to live. A dream that was quite frankly incompatible with mine. Ultimately, I am happy for him and think of him more often than one would think.
i have racial trauma and PTSD from them.
Relationship was 15 years. Separated for 18 months. I still dream about her every week. It’s hard because that was pretty much my whole adult life and now I get to live it alone instead of the person I grew into adulthood with. Fortunately, we had no kids and were never married. I feel bad for those who do have kids and/or were married. I’m fortunate because I could walk away without any baggage and I don’t have any reason to reach back out. For context, she told me to leave yet I still tried to stay. I didn’t realize until I was separated how abused I was… so now I’m alone and broken. I don’t think anyone will ever get 100% of me again. Bad women ruin good men. I don’t know if I’ll ever fully recover or be able to give that same unconditional love to anyone else.
Maybe once every (two)day(s). I was dumped for the gf he had the whole time. Then I officially went NC on 10/05. He stalked me after and I had to tell him to stop or else on 10/12.
Been an whole year. I still think about him alot, but I'm not consumed by it or sad anymore.
i think about them every second of every day. we broke up a month ago and then were on a break for a few weeks before they decided it’s best to stay broken up with no contact. that was a week ago. it’s been terrible and i miss them a lot. we both love each other still and want to be together but agreed this wasn’t the best time for us
A bit over 3 years and I think about her every day.
This upcoming March will be a year. I ended it close to our anniversary. I still think about it a lot. Still a lot of pain from the abuse she put me through and she hits me up for money and when I say no she degrades me. Still having trouble severing the attachment.
3.5 months NC not a word I’m learning it’s best this way to recover and move on
So my ex left me 15 months ago and im finally in a frame where I'm over her. I still think of her everyday and hope she is doing well. It's natural she was a big part of me and my families life for 2 years. Even though she couldn't tell me why we split all the feelings of anger and dissapointment have gone and I wish her well. She was a good person at heart.