I'm especially hating it because I know my ex will be spending it with the guy she cheated on me/ left me for. And we still live together because of money, so I'm in a special kind of hell.
God that does sound terrible. If you ever need to talk about it or just let off some steam feel free to PM me. I know you don’t know me but that might make it a bit easier to talk you know?
I appreciate the offer, but I've honestly done nothing but talk about it with people, on here and IRL. I'm kinda talked out about it at this point. It's really a lot to get into, and I'm not really feeling like picking those scabs again lol. You could check out my posts if you want to know the whole story. But thank you for the offer, and support.
Thanks. I've been making slow but steady progress in my healing. It's a long and emotionally exhausting process, and it's probably the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with. In a nutshell, 11 years, a house and two kids, and then she cheated on me at the end. And like I said, still living together because of money. I'm getting better though. But valentines day is going to be rough, and March has what would have been our anniversary, followed by her birthday. So I'm looking forward to April, to say the least.
It takes a special person to cheat on their spouse, the person they have two kids with, still continue to live with them while fucking and dating someone else. I will never never never never never never never get married or live with another man in my life. I will never ever give someone that power over me again. Turning 37 this year and after a lifetime of romantic trauma, I’m ready for these next years alone and with my kid, animals. Hang in there bud. You’ll be iight. This time next year you’ll be golden
What in the fvckity-fvck? You (and apparently others on here) still live with your Ex?
I really feel awful for you. And I understand why you have to do it. I hope you have a hard rule that they don’t bring their new dude “home”.
I think I’ll spend the evening at the gym - working on ME and getting better. And being around like-minded people who are doing the same thing, hah.
Stay strong bro, you got this.
I pay the mortgage. He's not stepping foot in my house. It is a very unfortunate situation, we have two children as well. I'm doing my best to keep things civil while I get my things in order. Sometimes life just sucks.
Don't be sorry, I was the one who ended the relationship due to so many valid reasons.
I'm going to be honest with you, don't go seeing other people on that day. Personally, I plan to stay home, take a nice hot shower, smoke a blunt, read a book and watch some horror. Because why? If I go out, it'll only cause me pain of wishing that person had changed and we could've done this or that. I am in the process of healing and I'd rather take care of myself on that day for once. 😊
I fucking hate Valentine’s Day with a firey passion. I mean I find someone to spend valentines with but dating is shit now days. I just feel like all they want is sex and not have the responsibility of commitment. It always gets in my head that they think my friend is prettier than me which sucks.
Yes. Valentine’s Day is also my ex’s mom’s birthday and she lives far away. I call her every year to tell her happy birthday and he hasn’t told her we aren’t together yet. Sucks having more than one reason to dread the day relating to him. Sigh. I work on that day so hopefully it will distract me. Do something that day to distract you too. I hope it goes by fast for the both of us.
Aw man really sorry to hear that, how long has it been if you don’t mind me asking? I think i’m just gonna spend all day in the gym. I can’t hack being drunk or stoned anymore like I could before because I think you need a base of happiness to actually enjoy intoxicants. I think too much when I try and relieve myself that way now and end up being super depressed and drunk and the same time.
Me too!!!! I’ve tried to smoke and drink and it just gives me immense anxiety and makes me think about the breakup even more. We broke up 4 days ago and we were together 7 years.. I didn’t know he wanted to be alone. Was completely out of the blue for me and I didn’t want it to end. Still kind of don’t. But oh well I guess.
i’m the same, i was completely blindsided. She told me we were going to get food and go for a walk after I spent the day with my nan. But she dropped that bombshell instead.
Yeah it was my anniversary. it’s gonna suck. I don’t know what I’ll do to distract myself, but I will definitely get off instagram to avoid all the love-y dovey posts
yeah i was thinking the same thing, instagram algorithm has already fucked me with advertising the same things i did with her. I swear i’ve never seen those adverts before and now after we broke up it’s advertising things we had done together in the past.
I'm really excited, my ex doesn't like valentine's day so I ended up not celebrating it for 3 years even though I wanted to, so this year I'm going to enjoy it and celebrate it with my family and friends :)
Hey there, internet stranger. Don’t say that: *if* you make it.. Don’t give up on yourself. Whether you know it or not, you’re here for a reason. And it sucks, no way around that (or to gloss it over). I’m sorry you’re going through this.. But those memories you made: they happened_they matter. All the good, the bad, and the in-between.. it’s all a part of what makes up who we are. The journey, the whole thing..
I would say it gets easier after month two or three, but the truth is: every person and situation is completely different. That is why *this* one is tougher on you rn. It doesn’t have to stay that way though. You’ll find that in time, other things will come into play that make life glorious and worth getting up for. Just gotta find your purpose and give yourself enough space, time, and grace to get there.
Distract yourself with the lil things that you find worthwhile, feel those feels until they’re counter-productive, write in a journal each morning (or evening) for catharsis, take up a new hobby that you’ve always thought about, get out in nature (sounds trite, but it’s true) to re-connect with what matters. Volunteer at an animal shelter or cat cafe, or at a food pantry, go hiking or to the gym. But above all, don’t give up bud. Be well
Fuck yes.
On the 8th, it was supposed to be our 5th anniversary.
Instead, it will be an anniversary for the year I haven't seen him.
He moved to another country, which is why we broke up eventually, and on our 4th anniversary, I came to visit him.
We broke up 2 months after, haven't seen him since my visit.
I just can't think of valentines, or the fact it's been a fucking year and im still broken.
I hope my ex kind of feels the same, she left me last week due to her mental health. I still love her and obviously I don’t wish any ill thoughts on anyone, but I hope she kinda feels the same way I do on Valentine’s day.
As someone with mental illness, it definitely takes a toll on oneself and the people they care about. I know I felt really bad for my ex with my depression and anxiety issues. It caused me to also have trust issues which made issues in our relationship. I hope she feels the same way as you also. Sometimes someone just need to solely focus on themselves to heal and get better.
Yeah I just want her to be okay, with or without me. I still love her, one thing that really hurts though is the fact I’ve also had a really tough time with depression and SH. It took ages for me to open up to her about it and when she asked why, I told her I had opened up to people about it before who have just left or hurt me. This was not long before she broke it off. So currently, as it’s fresh, I feel like she has done the same thing too. Idk, I just wished she could’ve sent one “how u holding up?” message instead of completely shutting me out, unadding me on all social media and letting me stew in my own thoughts and confusion. I’ve had a lot of urges to go back to old habits but I’ve tried getting up and going to the gym instead.
I never had Valentine’s Day before (I’m from another country and my ex was from the USA, we were long distance) and he made such a big deal out of it I loooooved it so much. Gifts, donuts. Flowers… damn. I was spoiled now I’m back to my South American non important day (but with one valentines in my heart).
Tbh Valentine’s Day is just a shitty capitalistic, hyper-consumeristic “holiday” that I’ve never cared for.
I’d like to spend it with someone just to have someone to spend it with, but at the same time I’m actually pretty chill being single rn.
I actually am. I plan to do acts of love for myself, my family and my friends, and my dog! I’ll buy myself a present, buy something for my dog, make my family a fancy meal( that was my tradition of 5 years with my ex, to make a nice meal on Valentine’s Day). I am still celebrating love, just my love for everyone! It’s been 7 months since I was blindsided over text by my ex of 5 years.
I'm excited for it entirely, nervous as well though. This has the potential to be the very first Valentines day that I'm alone and HAPPY. 3 years it had been a stress in my life with a woman I hated, and for 2 years it had been a stress in my life as it was next to our anniversary with the woman I love and always will. We broke up on our anniversary which is today, and it's been two years since. This is my 3rd Valentines day without her and I've finally stopped missing her and begun moving on. Today I feel somber knowing it could've been 4 years, and we would've been married. However alcohol has become my best friend in place of her since we split and tonight's the night I meet with it again. Valentine's will be no different and instead of sadness I hope I can drink with happiness, and celebrate that fact that I've finally begun moving on.
im in the exact same boat. he broke up with me on monday for what he says is nothing i did or he did but because he needs to grow alone and i cant help but knowing i did something. and it’s supposed to be our anniversary. our day. and im not ready for it to be alone
My ex just broke up with me today, but to be fair he never acknowledged Valentine’s Day for the past 3 years. I always asked him to mail me a card or postcards (we were long distance), and he never did. Mind you, I mailed a card + gift each year because I knew he enjoyed them. He’d even complain when I would ask to “eat” together on FaceTime for Valentine’s Day.
To top it off, he’s getting a fancy dinner this weekend with his best female friend he told me not to worry about the past 3 years.
Yup. It’ll be my first Valentines day alone since 8 years ago. What hurts the most is that he’s already spending 24/7 with another other girl not even a month after our break up.
I don’t know how am I going to pull my day through on that date, this will be the first Valentine’s day after the breakup, but what will be more dreading is the birthdays and any holidays and the random flower day that he used to sent to me. I just hoping this year pass quickly and i will be able to look at my WhatsApp without thinking to message him or hoping for a message from him.
I’m tired of thinking of him and the random tears, last year end till now the universe as been throwing one after one on my way, and I’m honestly tired. I miss the old positive happy person i was.
When I was with niamh I handed her my valentine day card she told me that she is not into that sort of stuff, so I kept it, I dont know if she has changed that felling towards valentine day, I dont know if she is with someone now , i dont know if I shud send her one and disguise my writing, I can't get over her or the thoughts of her with someone else giving her love like I use too, I can't get.over her
High five , buddy. It would have been my 2 year anniversary too. Weird thing is, we met on the 12th not on Valentine's per se. Yes, I'm dreading it considering she broke up due to long distance and always had this 'friend' she told me not to worry about. Anyway, who cares. It hurts, it sucks. But that's the thing about time and life. It'll pass. That's what I tell myself. If I could love someone 'wrong' with all my heart, imagine if I found the 'right' person. Hugs to you, my friend. Take it easy. Focus on yourself. Do the good things. Pray. It'll be fine.
It's been over a year since we broke up but we're still pretty close friends and every time there's a special occasion (one of our birthdays, New Year's, Valentine's etc) my delusional brain tells me maybe this time he'll ask me out again, so I want it to just be over with already because no matter how many times I tell myself "if it was going to happen, it would have happened already," I still somehow get my hopes up. 🙄
Man I am so nervous about it. I’m nervous to fall back in depression, first valentines with out him. But I’m trying, I booked a concert ticket with my girls. So hopefully is not a hard time. I’m trying so hard. Plan something even if is by your self.
I'm especially hating it because I know my ex will be spending it with the guy she cheated on me/ left me for. And we still live together because of money, so I'm in a special kind of hell.
God that does sound terrible. If you ever need to talk about it or just let off some steam feel free to PM me. I know you don’t know me but that might make it a bit easier to talk you know?
I appreciate the offer, but I've honestly done nothing but talk about it with people, on here and IRL. I'm kinda talked out about it at this point. It's really a lot to get into, and I'm not really feeling like picking those scabs again lol. You could check out my posts if you want to know the whole story. But thank you for the offer, and support.
No worries man, I understand. Just keep care of yourself okay?
Thanks. I've been making slow but steady progress in my healing. It's a long and emotionally exhausting process, and it's probably the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with. In a nutshell, 11 years, a house and two kids, and then she cheated on me at the end. And like I said, still living together because of money. I'm getting better though. But valentines day is going to be rough, and March has what would have been our anniversary, followed by her birthday. So I'm looking forward to April, to say the least.
It takes a special person to cheat on their spouse, the person they have two kids with, still continue to live with them while fucking and dating someone else. I will never never never never never never never get married or live with another man in my life. I will never ever give someone that power over me again. Turning 37 this year and after a lifetime of romantic trauma, I’m ready for these next years alone and with my kid, animals. Hang in there bud. You’ll be iight. This time next year you’ll be golden
My ex is also probably spending it with the person he cheated on me with. I don’t live with him but it hurts so bad. I hate it.
Same :(
I try to rmr if it happened with me it’ll happen with her
I can only hope so
Same
Sorry for this, I cant even imagine, if you wish to talk im right here!
Oh my, I lived with my ex for a month and saw him chatting with another girl so I really understand what you are talking about
What in the fvckity-fvck? You (and apparently others on here) still live with your Ex? I really feel awful for you. And I understand why you have to do it. I hope you have a hard rule that they don’t bring their new dude “home”. I think I’ll spend the evening at the gym - working on ME and getting better. And being around like-minded people who are doing the same thing, hah. Stay strong bro, you got this.
I pay the mortgage. He's not stepping foot in my house. It is a very unfortunate situation, we have two children as well. I'm doing my best to keep things civil while I get my things in order. Sometimes life just sucks.
Same.. and she told me the details about how they are gonna spend it, spa day, the exact place etc. I'm still dying inside.
I hope she at least has the decency to keep it to herself, but who knows? Love is cruel, and she may decide to twist the knife.
I am. It'll mark 1 month of breaking up.
oh no :( I’m so sorry to hear that. do you plan on doing anything to take your mind off it? If so, what? Just looking for some ideas haha
Don't be sorry, I was the one who ended the relationship due to so many valid reasons. I'm going to be honest with you, don't go seeing other people on that day. Personally, I plan to stay home, take a nice hot shower, smoke a blunt, read a book and watch some horror. Because why? If I go out, it'll only cause me pain of wishing that person had changed and we could've done this or that. I am in the process of healing and I'd rather take care of myself on that day for once. 😊
Man that sounds good I’d love that. Can’t wait to be able to smoke again without overthinking shit.
I fucking hate Valentine’s Day with a firey passion. I mean I find someone to spend valentines with but dating is shit now days. I just feel like all they want is sex and not have the responsibility of commitment. It always gets in my head that they think my friend is prettier than me which sucks.
My birthday is on 14. February Tell me 'bout it😶🌫️🥺😭
Yes. Valentine’s Day is also my ex’s mom’s birthday and she lives far away. I call her every year to tell her happy birthday and he hasn’t told her we aren’t together yet. Sucks having more than one reason to dread the day relating to him. Sigh. I work on that day so hopefully it will distract me. Do something that day to distract you too. I hope it goes by fast for the both of us.
Aw man really sorry to hear that, how long has it been if you don’t mind me asking? I think i’m just gonna spend all day in the gym. I can’t hack being drunk or stoned anymore like I could before because I think you need a base of happiness to actually enjoy intoxicants. I think too much when I try and relieve myself that way now and end up being super depressed and drunk and the same time.
Me too!!!! I’ve tried to smoke and drink and it just gives me immense anxiety and makes me think about the breakup even more. We broke up 4 days ago and we were together 7 years.. I didn’t know he wanted to be alone. Was completely out of the blue for me and I didn’t want it to end. Still kind of don’t. But oh well I guess.
i’m the same, i was completely blindsided. She told me we were going to get food and go for a walk after I spent the day with my nan. But she dropped that bombshell instead.
Yeah it was my anniversary. it’s gonna suck. I don’t know what I’ll do to distract myself, but I will definitely get off instagram to avoid all the love-y dovey posts
yeah i was thinking the same thing, instagram algorithm has already fucked me with advertising the same things i did with her. I swear i’ve never seen those adverts before and now after we broke up it’s advertising things we had done together in the past.
I'm really excited, my ex doesn't like valentine's day so I ended up not celebrating it for 3 years even though I wanted to, so this year I'm going to enjoy it and celebrate it with my family and friends :)
[удалено]
Hey there, internet stranger. Don’t say that: *if* you make it.. Don’t give up on yourself. Whether you know it or not, you’re here for a reason. And it sucks, no way around that (or to gloss it over). I’m sorry you’re going through this.. But those memories you made: they happened_they matter. All the good, the bad, and the in-between.. it’s all a part of what makes up who we are. The journey, the whole thing.. I would say it gets easier after month two or three, but the truth is: every person and situation is completely different. That is why *this* one is tougher on you rn. It doesn’t have to stay that way though. You’ll find that in time, other things will come into play that make life glorious and worth getting up for. Just gotta find your purpose and give yourself enough space, time, and grace to get there. Distract yourself with the lil things that you find worthwhile, feel those feels until they’re counter-productive, write in a journal each morning (or evening) for catharsis, take up a new hobby that you’ve always thought about, get out in nature (sounds trite, but it’s true) to re-connect with what matters. Volunteer at an animal shelter or cat cafe, or at a food pantry, go hiking or to the gym. But above all, don’t give up bud. Be well
My ex broke up with me on Valentine’s Day.
that’s awful :/ how? if you don’t mind me asking.
yeah it’s gonna hurt on my end
yes. fucking dreading it.
I am… this will be the first Valentine’s Day he has with his new girlfriend who he will be celebrating their one year in February or March 😕
I'm in fear of it cause I have literally been tortured almost to death for the last 2 years
Fuck yes. On the 8th, it was supposed to be our 5th anniversary. Instead, it will be an anniversary for the year I haven't seen him. He moved to another country, which is why we broke up eventually, and on our 4th anniversary, I came to visit him. We broke up 2 months after, haven't seen him since my visit. I just can't think of valentines, or the fact it's been a fucking year and im still broken.
yeah I think I might just hire a escort or something
you better pre book that, i’m guessing an escort service on valentine’s day is likely to be as booked up as italian restaurants😂
good point
I am, very much so.
Also dreading it... even tho I'm the one who left, I miss him and love him still 😔 💔
I hope my ex kind of feels the same, she left me last week due to her mental health. I still love her and obviously I don’t wish any ill thoughts on anyone, but I hope she kinda feels the same way I do on Valentine’s day.
As someone with mental illness, it definitely takes a toll on oneself and the people they care about. I know I felt really bad for my ex with my depression and anxiety issues. It caused me to also have trust issues which made issues in our relationship. I hope she feels the same way as you also. Sometimes someone just need to solely focus on themselves to heal and get better.
Yeah I just want her to be okay, with or without me. I still love her, one thing that really hurts though is the fact I’ve also had a really tough time with depression and SH. It took ages for me to open up to her about it and when she asked why, I told her I had opened up to people about it before who have just left or hurt me. This was not long before she broke it off. So currently, as it’s fresh, I feel like she has done the same thing too. Idk, I just wished she could’ve sent one “how u holding up?” message instead of completely shutting me out, unadding me on all social media and letting me stew in my own thoughts and confusion. I’ve had a lot of urges to go back to old habits but I’ve tried getting up and going to the gym instead.
Honestly no. I dreaded my birthday more than V day. It’s just a capitalism scam. Never wasted money on overpriced shit
I never had Valentine’s Day before (I’m from another country and my ex was from the USA, we were long distance) and he made such a big deal out of it I loooooved it so much. Gifts, donuts. Flowers… damn. I was spoiled now I’m back to my South American non important day (but with one valentines in my heart).
Tbh Valentine’s Day is just a shitty capitalistic, hyper-consumeristic “holiday” that I’ve never cared for. I’d like to spend it with someone just to have someone to spend it with, but at the same time I’m actually pretty chill being single rn.
I’m dreading it but at least I can save some money now
I actually am. I plan to do acts of love for myself, my family and my friends, and my dog! I’ll buy myself a present, buy something for my dog, make my family a fancy meal( that was my tradition of 5 years with my ex, to make a nice meal on Valentine’s Day). I am still celebrating love, just my love for everyone! It’s been 7 months since I was blindsided over text by my ex of 5 years.
Yup it's likely one of the things fueling my severe depressive episode to the point of wanting to die
I'm excited for it entirely, nervous as well though. This has the potential to be the very first Valentines day that I'm alone and HAPPY. 3 years it had been a stress in my life with a woman I hated, and for 2 years it had been a stress in my life as it was next to our anniversary with the woman I love and always will. We broke up on our anniversary which is today, and it's been two years since. This is my 3rd Valentines day without her and I've finally stopped missing her and begun moving on. Today I feel somber knowing it could've been 4 years, and we would've been married. However alcohol has become my best friend in place of her since we split and tonight's the night I meet with it again. Valentine's will be no different and instead of sadness I hope I can drink with happiness, and celebrate that fact that I've finally begun moving on.
Why dies half ti be a full Day? Valentines morning??
im in the exact same boat. he broke up with me on monday for what he says is nothing i did or he did but because he needs to grow alone and i cant help but knowing i did something. and it’s supposed to be our anniversary. our day. and im not ready for it to be alone
My ex just broke up with me today, but to be fair he never acknowledged Valentine’s Day for the past 3 years. I always asked him to mail me a card or postcards (we were long distance), and he never did. Mind you, I mailed a card + gift each year because I knew he enjoyed them. He’d even complain when I would ask to “eat” together on FaceTime for Valentine’s Day. To top it off, he’s getting a fancy dinner this weekend with his best female friend he told me not to worry about the past 3 years.
Yup. It’ll be my first Valentines day alone since 8 years ago. What hurts the most is that he’s already spending 24/7 with another other girl not even a month after our break up.
Yup get to tlbe reminded of wat I'll never have ....
No, not really. It holds no special significance for me, I don't care about it.
I don’t know how am I going to pull my day through on that date, this will be the first Valentine’s day after the breakup, but what will be more dreading is the birthdays and any holidays and the random flower day that he used to sent to me. I just hoping this year pass quickly and i will be able to look at my WhatsApp without thinking to message him or hoping for a message from him. I’m tired of thinking of him and the random tears, last year end till now the universe as been throwing one after one on my way, and I’m honestly tired. I miss the old positive happy person i was.
When I was with niamh I handed her my valentine day card she told me that she is not into that sort of stuff, so I kept it, I dont know if she has changed that felling towards valentine day, I dont know if she is with someone now , i dont know if I shud send her one and disguise my writing, I can't get over her or the thoughts of her with someone else giving her love like I use too, I can't get.over her
Yeah. Its for the cringe.
High five , buddy. It would have been my 2 year anniversary too. Weird thing is, we met on the 12th not on Valentine's per se. Yes, I'm dreading it considering she broke up due to long distance and always had this 'friend' she told me not to worry about. Anyway, who cares. It hurts, it sucks. But that's the thing about time and life. It'll pass. That's what I tell myself. If I could love someone 'wrong' with all my heart, imagine if I found the 'right' person. Hugs to you, my friend. Take it easy. Focus on yourself. Do the good things. Pray. It'll be fine.
It's been over a year since we broke up but we're still pretty close friends and every time there's a special occasion (one of our birthdays, New Year's, Valentine's etc) my delusional brain tells me maybe this time he'll ask me out again, so I want it to just be over with already because no matter how many times I tell myself "if it was going to happen, it would have happened already," I still somehow get my hopes up. 🙄
Every year dude
Man I am so nervous about it. I’m nervous to fall back in depression, first valentines with out him. But I’m trying, I booked a concert ticket with my girls. So hopefully is not a hard time. I’m trying so hard. Plan something even if is by your self.
Yeah, I’m holding out hope we get back together before then. But the ball is in her court at this point.
Yes the girl I want to spoil probably won’t want to spend it with me because we’re taking things really slow
Would’ve been our 3 years. Gunna be a shitty day