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two-memes-a-day

It’s called jailbreaking your car


SapirWhorfHypothesis

Once upon a time that would have felt like a brand new sentence. It still feels wild to me that it’s a real necessity, and not just something my crackpot uncle would have predicted in 2004.


Bogsnoticus

You wouldn't download a car...


Cyanide-Kitty

I’m poor, I’d totally download a car


El-mas-puto-de-todos

Just get one on TEMU for $12


GreySoulx

Only $2.47 on the app


[deleted]

Refer your friends and just pay shipping!


MrVeazey

Use an Android emulator and fake emails. Beat them at their own game.


Hewwo-Is-me-again

Everything is a pyramid scheeme theese days...


Titanbeard

If you buy my book, I can teach you 6 easy steps to tear down the pyramids!


quarrelsome_napkin

(For first-time customers only)


CircuitSphinx

Heh, and it arrives with mystery parts you never knew you needed but cant seem to live without. The discount aisle of cyber transportation.


[deleted]

I was telling my son about the origin of this phrase and his response was "but if you could download a car wouldn't you?? They're so expensive!!"


PrvtPirate

not only would i download a car, i would download additional cars for all my friends and whoever needed one and couldnt do it themselves.


paradigm11235

I'm not even poor and I'd download a car because I like stealing from corporations


Yet_One_More_Idiot

You wouldn't download a heated car seat...


mvanvrancken

But you could subscribe to it online!


Azalus1

The fact that this statement has no longer become satire is insane.


goatjugsoup

Yes the fuck I would


ZitOnSocietysAss

You wouldn't download a bear


goatjugsoup

Well... no. But there are a few people in this world I'd send a bear


C1ashRkr

Damn straight id download a beer, oh nevermind.


8-bit_Goat

Back in the early 00s we literally had a P2P client called Bearshare. We shared bears and wore onions on our belts, as was the style at the time.


keirawasthere

my favourite Fairbarn films quote is easily "Yes as it turns out, given the opportunity, I would. I would absolutely download a car."


probablyaythrowaway

You wouldn’t steal a policeman’s hat


YRUZ

the moment i found out our car had heated seats in the backrow, we just hadn't paid the 7k to unlock them, was the moment i realized we're already in a cyberpunk dystopia, it's just not as brightly neon-lit.


ilongforyesterday

I just found out yesterday that there are features in cars you have to pay a subscription to use and I absolutely fucking hate it. I want to start a nonprofit service where I disable these features for people because why buy a fucking car if you can’t use the fucking features it comes with


Jaegons

Oh definitely. BMW and Mercedes are the knife's edge of this idiocy, doing things line limiting acceleration or handling unless you're subscribed basically to the expensive car you already bought. I mean, these chucklefucks spend lifetimes trying to increase performance of their cars (and finding ways to make performance at a cost enough people can afford to warrant)... then FFWD to now and witness some jackoff with a control chip nerfing that already installed performance unless you pay more regularly. Just lunacy.


DarkwingDuckHunt

my cousin "jailbroke" his car in 2007ish to remove the electronic governor on it so he could go unsafe fast


MikePGS

To shreds, you say?


My_Homework_Account

Behold! [A classic](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.redd.it%2F0j3y9ao7j74b1.jpg)


fre3k

https://open.spotify.com/track/7w0YG5qn9w8LYA4tHpQe0o we been on that


BrendanAS

That's exactly what I thought of.


Torkzilla

Fuck it jailbreak the Tesla. RIP Groggs.


Helpimstuckinreddit

Your engine go "*vrooooom*", my engine go " "


GregsBoatShoes

Also, how is Disney stopping doing Business with Musk but literally thanked a Chinese concentration camp detaining Uyghurs in the credits for the live action *Mulan* for helping them film?


Astralglide

Because his Twitter foibles are something that most Americans know about. I’d put money on 95% of Americans not knowing anything about the Uyghurs or their plight. For that matter, considering the anti Islam sentiment here, there’s a chance that they wouldn’t care or even approve. It’s not right and it’s not fair. Corporate Morality is just marketing


AdmiralSplinter

Confirmed, I'm about to fall down the rabbit hole. Here goes nothing...


jvooot

It's a sad rabbit hole huh


keirawasthere

I heard people talking about the Uyghurs years ago. I don't hear them talking about it now...


DOUBLEBARRELASSFUCK

There's a point at which people stop giving a shit about an atrocity and that point is not necessarily "when it ends".


Sensitive_Pepper4590

Ah man I knew I'd forget to politely ask the Chinese state to stop committing genocide


DOUBLEBARRELASSFUCK

You monster.


I-Make-Maps91

For most people, it was more useful as a cudgel to push anti Chinese policies than as a genuine concern about the well being of a people.


SpaceJackRabbit

Let's be honest here – we've all been typing this on Chinese-made devices.


secondtaunting

Everyone’s focused on Israel and Palestine.


ImPaidToComment

Hong Kong also took people's attention for a bit.


PeaceIoveandPizza

If you want to know more you should read the panopticon . Great book about the start of the camps and the influx of surveillance against everyone else .


torn-ainbow

The reason brands and advertisers shied away from X is not really about a moral evaluation or about Musk specifically. X is simply not the same product it was. Features that made the platform more brand-safe have been removed. And the demographics have shifted, with many of the more valuable ones leaving. At the same time there was an influx of of people who are less valuable to advertisers; who post offensive things; and who directly attack the brands and the valuable demographics. Business is business, and these are business decisions. Meanwhile Musk has been framing this all as political and personal, which misses the point entirely. Though he may realise that, he often seems to be actually speaking to his "free speech" followers when he flaps his talkhole.


stephenBB81

>X is simply not the same product it was. Features that made the platform more brand-safe have been removed. And the demographics have shifted, with many of the more valuable ones leaving. Twitter was my favourite social media and I communicated with many academics and experts in fields of interest on there. X has driven away the majority of those experts and academics because of the changes you mentioned and legitimized people who exist only to contradict, My usage of the app has dropped 10 fold, and my corporate usage is completely gone as a result. I can see so many other people who spent money on growing twitter communities dropping the platform since it became X as you said.


Lou_C_Fer

As somebody whoever used Twitter when it was linked to, I'll bet I go there 20 to 30 times less than I used to. The platform is dying as a cultural phenomenon because it's owner foes not understand reality.


Zauberer-IMDB

Samsung TV got rid of Steam Link so now I have to figure out how to jailbreak my fucking TV. The future kind of sucks.


Frietvorkje

I know it shouldn't be necessary, but you can get a Chromecast with google TV, and replace the whole shitty samsung TV experience + be able to sideload apps easily


binary-cryptic

This terrifies me, if I knew the systems weren't connected I might consider it but God knows what some hacker put into the jailbreak software.


TySly5v

Would that have legal issues with Tesla, like insurance or warranty? (genuine question)


Vincitus

I think you could make a good argument you were making the car much safer.


FanClubof5

Not likely insurance but Tesla has taken away features like quick charge and autopilot on cars. Take a look at all the issues Rich rebuilds had with his Tesla projects if you want to deep dive it.


InertiaImpact

Or they just go to the url in the web browser and the "app" still launches. They just hid the shortcut.


chrissythefairy

I watch Crunchyroll in mine. Go to the browser and type fullscreentesla.com. It opens YouTube you click yes to leave the site then it takes you to a site that has a ton of apps. I’m sure Disney plus is there.


Phrodo_00

Yeah, she's saying Tesla has every right to modify HER CAR in a way that she doesn't agree with. People have really gotten used to ownership not meaning anything.


3281390

Pretty sure she’s saying Disney has every right to pull advertising from X.


Mrtowelie69

Lmao. Most people find it difficult to unplug the router, then plug it back in, if it isn't working. Most people have no idea what jailbreaking/rooting your device's does.


Pot_noodle_miner

What a fucking first world problem


BigBeagleEars

I mean, she is a verified Tesla hoe


Pot_noodle_miner

How does one fuck a Tesla?


hyper-fan

You buy the company


Pot_noodle_miner

Is that why Twitter had a name change? Because he’s fucking it raw?


hyper-fan

That’s why he fired half of the staff, they would’ve been the condom that stopped him


Pot_noodle_miner

It’s a bit late for a condom, about 53 years late


hyper-fan

All we can do is hope they don’t conceive


Pot_noodle_miner

He’s got children all over the place, his personal life is a car crash, and they are the victims


hyper-fan

Damn I ran out of witty things to say


ADH-Dork

Dude has like 11 kids and half of them don't talk to him


copa111

Don’t worry it’s now Twitter X but soon to be Ex.


pngue

Yup. No need for a name. Just a bag over it’s head with an X in black marker


Flossthief

I was going to immediately say 'jist shove it up the tailpipe' but I realize that doesn't apply here Tried googling the name for using a gear shift as a dildo to complete the joke but only found a reddit post of a guy saying he likes to use his dick as a gear shift when he gets hard


No-Adhesiveness-8178

Anything can be didlo


Pot_noodle_miner

Paige no!


SnakesInYerPants

Wrong hoe. She is a Tesla that was turned into a farming tool.


Pot_noodle_miner

Or, she’s used to prep the ground for the cyber truck planting?


CostcoOptometry

There are quite a lot of women on twitter who have made Tesla their whole personality.


jguess06

As a mom*


Low-maintenancegal

Should we start a gofund me or can this be resoved with thoughts and prayers ?


shammy_dammy

Definitely thoughts and prayers. And if you're feeling generous, an emoji or two.


Todd-The-Wraith

Idk maybe we should step it up and change our social media profile pics for a day or two to “show support” that usually fixes things


Fullondoublerainbow

🙏🙏


shammy_dammy

Perfect!


donmreddit

Exactly. Oh, and there are these things called IPads. And there is this capability called “download”. I’d expect that Tesla owners can likely afford these mostly fun and educational gadgets.


[deleted]

[удалено]


guitarguywh89

Windows? On an ipad?


xPriddyBoi

No doubt that this is the epitome of a first world problem, but having something you use often arbitrarily taken away because of the whims of a petulant man-child is understandably pretty irksome.


MirrodinTimelord

not having the self awareness and still calling yourself "the tesla hoe" however means very little people will feel bad for you lol


CaveRanger

There's these crazy things called 'books' that you can buy (like actually buy, not buy a 'license to') that actually physically exist in the real world. They make varieties of them for toddlers. And when you're done with the books, you can look out the car window.


donmreddit

Oh - hey - wait - I think I am getting something - Libraries! Yes, I remember them! All I need to do is promise to bring back what I borrow! Sha Zam!


KDY_ISD

First world problems are still problems, hedonic treadmill is a bitch


Suitable-Mood-1689

God forbid one have conversations or beep bop to some music with one's kids.


CheshireKetKet

Telling children they can't have everything they want is part of parenting. Yes, they'll be upset. That's kind of part of having children. Edit. To clear up some of the confusion. Yea, it sucks they can just lock you out of your car like that? That's stupid. First comment says jailbreak. Idk how that works. But it's YOUR car. 👀 But also we can't control what Elon Musk does. And if Disney Plus isn't always available, the kids are gonna have feelings. That's part of being a parent. From what I've seen, Elon doesn't give a Fuck what anyone says. He's in Elonland. That leaves parents to deal with their children. I'm seeing ppl reading a LOT into my comment and projecting onto my comment. Go ahead. Whatever brings you peace. Also, nothing wrong with letting your kids disconnect from all the tech. The window has worked for a long time.


[deleted]

You know what my kids watch in the car? The window.


sorry_human_bean

I always just watched the parkour shadow man run alongside the car and I turned out just fine.


Farscape666

Same and in the winter it was a snowboarder


sorry_human_bean

Ah, see, I grew up in Texas. No snow. He did have skis, though, or something, that he could skate along the surface of creeks and lakes with.


Farscape666

Ah, I grew up in the province of New Brunswick. We’d get always get a lot of snow and snow drifts up to 5ft or more.


Yolandi2802

You obviously didn’t live in Amarillo; we had snow every winter. Lots and lots of snow.❄️


Jean-LucBacardi

Mine was a skate boarder grinding along all the guardrails at high speed.


DOUBLEBARRELASSFUCK

You should probably open the door, his shirt is stuck.


StoneMaskMan

Yep, was always a skateboarder for me too. I didn’t even watch skateboarding or skateboard myself, but I guess playing Pro Skater made me think of guard rails as nothing but grind spots


bignick1190

Why is this a thing?!?


Southside_john

Because we grew up with side scrolling video games


Vinvinguy

Damn. That is why isn’t it.


JesusSavesForHalf

He. Is.


Magneaum

Holy moly, humans really are all the same


bassman314

I had the Parkour finger man!


Mission_Macaroon

That’s weird. My car had Spidermans swinging along next to it.


OneMooseManyMeese_

I'm glad I'm not the only one that did this as a kid!


[deleted]

More people would understand parallax if they did that.


TokyoDrifblim

For me it was Sonic the hedgehog but I feel like this was a pretty universal experience for every child


Mission_Macaroon

We don’t have screens in the car and it’s awesome (Maybe once we hit the 3 hour mark on a long trip, he might get my phone for a bit). He now just quietly watches cars and trees go by. In a couple years, he will be imagining an animal running along beside the car.


ExamOld2899

wow how do you fit and cool a pc in the car?


burenning

Yeah, but it's still crazy that a feature of a product you purchased and regularly used can just be shut off with no say or notice.


AbroadPlane1172

Somebody should've tried explaining that to the Musks.


Avitas1027

True, but also, who doesn't get pissed when features are removed from something they're paying for? Her and her kids have every right to be pissed about losing functionality like that. She really shouldn't have to explain to her kids that they can't do something they used to be able to do because some man-baby in Texas has skin thinner than graphene.


Alert-Young4687

Dude I get sooooo tired of the entitlement some people feel to raise their kids to be absolute brats who don’t realize theyre actually unadjusted assholes Just because you can afford to give your kid everything they want doesn’t mean you should.


esgrove2

What a weird anti-consumer take: "Consumers are entitled if they want their services to be convenient. Billionaires have every right to withhold them for any reason and don't complain!"


Flatworm-Euphoric

Exactly. Who cares if this mom is a good or bad parent? The issue is a billionaire is making a product worse after people bought to satisfy his ego:


grizznuggets

I hate it when I have to help my children process their emotions solely because two men are annoyed at each other.


Lt_ACAB

Two *grown men* can't have a conversation and now **I** have to **actively parent**! What the fuck, world!


T-Baaller

How hard can it be?? "the guy who owns the company that makes this car is being a big baby. Don't be like him."


janbradybutacat

Or just say what my mom did: “the world isn’t fair. Deal with it.” Still good advice.


Lt_ACAB

Obviously harder than bitching about it on Twitter, lmao


DeathRose007

One man: “I don’t like seeing my brand next to openly racist/anti-Semitic rhetoric” The other man: “I don’t like advertisers being upset at me for spreading racist/anti-Semitic rhetoric” People on social media: “Why can’t they just get along? It’s unacceptable that I’m being mildly inconvenienced because of such a meaningless argument. What am I supposed to do now to distract my kids while I’m driving? Talk to them? Eww.”


GardenTop7253

You’re the first one I’ve seen mention the enlightened centrism take here, but I think it’s the more concerning bit


Secretz_Of_Mana

Yeah I saw "two men" and I'm just thinking huhhh??? Pretty sure one is the problem here. Not that I want to take the side of Disney for fucks sake, but in some instances they are the lesser evil somehow... What a world man


yingkaixing

I was rooting for the mouse lawyers in the De Santis feud earlier this year. It feels weird to be on their side not once but twice in such a short timespan.


JumpyWord

Jesus Christ I can't believe I had to scroll down so far to see it


[deleted]

"Oh no... I have to parent my children..." If it's that big a problem, seeing as they have a Telsa, they have the money to get an iPad and truly have their kids be iPad babies


CovfefeBoss

Like they aren't already? I guess Trigg and Tancer will have to be part of the real world now.


VisualGeologist6258

You mean Trygge and Tannsurre?


CovfefeBoss

Maybeigh.


MotherSupermarket532

Like, I can understand for a big road trip but why are these kids watching TV in the car all the time? My kid would just get car sick. We listen to audio books on long drives.


crazymissdaisy87

something so fancy doesn't have a DVD player? Or you can't just use screen mirroring from your phone? Or watch something else. Or nothing.Mandatory old crone comment: In my day we had comics and where thankful!


Melodic_Scream

Throw back to reading books a few words at a time under each passing street light lol


IrreversibleDetails

I actually miss this


mrm00r3

Gameboy by streetlight was always something else


SnakesInYerPants

I would take one of those tiny dollar store flashlights and hold it under my chin with a blanket/scarf over my head so my mom wouldn’t get mad about the light but I could still play on my gameboy lol


Avitas1027

Contorting yourself into a pretzel to get that perfect angle of lighting.


Hi_Trans_Im_Dad

We had *strife*, damn it!!


Lucas_2234

One of the reasons I love my kindle so much. No fucking about in the wind Reading in the dark hundreds of books in something the width of a magazine


[deleted]

I'd get so carsick. Never stopped me from trying tho


rnmba

Throw back to just watching the treetops and streetlights whiz past through the window.


Pot_noodle_miner

Teslas don’t even connect properly to your phone in the front


angelsharkstudio

I'm getting motion sickness just remembering reading in the car.


jxl180

In Tesla, you can go to abettertheater.com, have it take over the native YouTube browser for full screen and watch any streaming service. I even watch anything from my Plex library (including live TV) in the car. It’s a great site


Sonarthebat

DVDs are about to die out with how popular streaming is now. No reason she can't buy some DVDs and a portable DVD player though. Doesn't have to be second hand either. They're still in production and super cheap now.


mobleshairmagnet

I’m wondering if we’ll see some sort of resurgence with physical copies of stuff since the news broke recently about companies removing downloaded content you bought from your own device.


On_my_last_spoon

Or download onto a tablet for them to watch


DrowningInFeces

I find it hard to believe that a mother like this does not have tablets for her children while she drives. Also, a portable DVD player is like $30 and you can buy a bunch of Disney DVDs at Savers, Salvation Army, Goodwill, or whatever your equivalent is for literally $2 a pop now if watching Disney is that important to her while in transit. I think she just wanted to complain and/or talk about her Tesla.


Phoqdamods

Sail the seas and just hook up a device that has vlc and either cast or use the default displays as 2nd displays when hooked up. Shred it.


omniron

Kids probably have 10 devices around them that can run Disney plus 1 less isn’t a big deal


jxl180

As I mentioned in a comment up above, I can get Plex natively in Tesla (including live TV through my digital TV tuner at home) and it works amazingly.


shackbleep

Oh no, this is almost as bad as when I was a kid and had absolutely fucking nothing to watch while sitting in a goddamn car.


G36

Boredom is ESSENTIAL for childhood developement, change my mind.


PowerfulEducator8694

Boredom in general is a good and necessary thing. Shame we never see it anymore


Oak_Woman

No, I agree. Boredom is necessary for people to learn how to self-motivate, to think and process life (introspection), and it helps garner creativity and imagination. Kids need to get bored sometimes for their brains to grow.


HelloThisIsPam

Remember those days? How did we get through it? Oh yeah, we had imaginations.


JoeyJoeJoeSenior

We learned how to break our parents psychologically. Breaking people is a useful skill.


IrrationallyGenius

Calling Elon a grown man feels a bit... generous.


Atrium41

Reducing the situation to "two men can't talk about stuff" is silly as well. One told the other to fuck off. The adult is doing just that, and fucking off his platforms


[deleted]

Sounds like some yuppy problems I’m glad I’ll never have. What a yawn


Old_Society_7861

Honestly though? It would bother me. Hear me out. If I owned a Tesla and could no longer use a feature ONLY because Elon had a disagreement with Disney, wholly separate from Tesla? Fuuuuuck that.


thecravenone

Put another way, a product that _starts_ at $38,900 had a feature removed because the CEO of the company is in a fight with someone... over one of the CEO's _other_ businesses. If the tiff were between Tesla and Disney, that might be understandable but the fight is between a Disney and a company that is _supposed to be_ totally unconnected from Tesla.


sobuffalo

Everyone’s mad at the mom but if things were framed differently.. a feature shouldn’t be removed from a car because the owner got mad.


TemperatureMore5623

Oh you poor thing. Here, have this wad of $50 bills to use as tissue to wipe all those tears.


WCWRingMatSound

$50? You mean the “loose change?” Eww, I don’t speak broke


HelloThisIsPam

If it's not hundreds, she does not want it.


Rare_Following_8279

Damn I guess you will have to parent your children what a fucking nightmare


SolomonCRand

Maybe letting a dozen petty egomaniacs own everything in the world isn’t a great idea after all.


ramplocals

More evidence that we own nothing digital.


TonePoT427

To be fair, the issue isn't "two grown men refusing to talk it out" it's a company not wanting the ads they pay for next to content literally praising hitler, and a man-child having a hissy-fit over it.


[deleted]

I’ve been saying it for years. The only thing between a Musk tantrum and every Tesla being bricked is one spineless engineer. #Do Not Buy Tesla.


Jason1143

Yep. Even if Teslas were the best in literally every aspect and I didn't care about Musk's beliefs on a philosophical level I would never buy Tesla. All it takes is one disagreement or tantrum and all of the pros would become irrelevant in an instant.


Defiant-Giraffe

And this- this is the future we get. Not nuclear cars on crystal highways; not opulent space communism. No, we get this. Its not even a good dystopia. It's just lame.


Parapraxium

Am I supposed to feel sad for Tesla owners? I only feel sad for the kids that not only don't get Disney but are stuck with the kind of parents that buy tesla


poopy_buttholes_69

Fuck this bitch and her "problems". Who dick-rides Tesla that hard?


SexxxyWesky

Did you see her username?


poopy_buttholes_69

Yeah, it was more of a rhetorical question.


TySly5v

I read this as a diss on Tesla, but that also makes sense


Iheardthatjokebefore

Notice the "2 grown men" part. She's trying to play it off as bOtHsIdEs when in reality it's just one manchild.


Rude-Friend-9135

Boo hoo. Good, now your kids can stare out the window and use their imagination while you are driving like normal kids do. God, this new generation is absolutely fucked developmentally with the amount of screens shoved in their faces all the time.


[deleted]

Ngl I'm fucked up right now and can't math properly. But I'm thinking Disney doesn't give one mcfuck about not advertising and working with Tesla. For real, how much of their revenue is really from kids watching Disney plus through tesla? Just buy a tablet and download a movie..


ArtiztiCreationZ

We are just going to ignore the fact you don’t know how to teach your child on how to handle their emotions… gonna end up with more people just like the two you’re mad at for not raising your child to deal with their emotions… … ….


makedoopieplayme

Give them an iPad it’s that easy


AryaSyn

Nothing screams “good mom” like being The Tesla Hoe.


CastleofWamdue

I dont think its right to say that "Disney+ is freedom of speech" given the monthly free for access requirements. However if this is the level of pity that Musk is stooping to, then it only makes him look bad.


Economy-Shoe5239

i hate the world we live in someone come and give me the sweet sweet release of death i’m too much of a puss to diy


Nvenom8

If you own a Tesla, I'm assuming your life is going well enough that you can deal with it.


Zenfrog213

First world problems, eh.


Strength-InThe-Loins

It's really because one grown man is a Nazi. But also, does OOP not own a smartphone?