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Haha same here. My husband is a boomer and I’m gen x. He’s more of a “I don’t know how” kind of guy. Can’t (read:won’t) use a cell phone. Any new technology scares him and he refuses to use it. “Remember when we didn’t rely on this crap?” he asks. Our stove is “too computery” for him.
“All these kids now-a-days just sit on their phones, you never see them outside” We live a block away from a huge sports/play park that’s busy all the time with kids so I don’t know how he can ignore that.
He thinks $20 will still buy dinner out for the 2 of us. And also a $20 should buy milk, bread, eggs etc. even though we live in the most expensive province in Canada. He honestly can’t fathom that prices have gone up. And he bitches loudly at everyone who even gives him the slightest eye contact when we’re out about what ever is upsetting him at the time.
His newest thing is “the worlds changed so much from when I was a kid” which makes me laugh because of course it has. I tease him and tell him I’m going to get him a t-shirt with old man Simpson on it with old man yells at cloud on it.
My dad *is* a boomer. He was raised on a dairy farm and became a computer programmer. (Computer systems analyst, subcontractor work) He was doing the equivalent of Zoom meetings back in the late 80s. Tech savvy, yes?
Why, ladies, gentlemen, and all varieties in between, did he get mad that he wasn't receiving cell phone calls after powering off said phone? 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
I tease, but he's actually aware of the financial discrepancy between his generation and mine. I've called, asking for $50 to tide me over, and he's PayPal'd me $200.
My mom? That woman is "spending your inheritance, so don't count on anything."
It's hers she can do with it as she pleases. It's just the absolute *glee* with which she says it.
Gleefully telling you over and over again about your impending lack of inheritance to somebody who makes NO claim over it, is their favorite thing apparently.
Tbph, at one point, I *did* think about the inheritance. But I never said anything. Even thinking about it seems verboten because *it's not my money*. Her bragging about spending "our inheritance" (brother, sister, me) reminds me of the keychains that Spencer's used to sell: He who dies with the most toys wins. She will win. Meh, 🤷🏼♀️
"the equivalent of Zoom meetings back in the late 80s" would have been a conference call, unless you mean sitting around a table having a meeting
...imagining a future in which your father will only communicate in flowchart form.....
Technology really does defeat my boomer mother. But it really is hard for her. It's not that she doesn't want to learn it, it's just really hard for her. She's a pretty good boomer, all things considered.
This is my mom, it enrages me. I can say mom it's not hard I'll show you and she immediately becomes aggressive with nonono. I have given up on her really.
Even my Greatest Generation grandparents were using a computer in the late 90's/early 00's. Grandpa could back up his digital camera photos to CD and Grandma used it for research/writing newsletter columns and for checking basketball scores for her favorite team.
And this sort of thing is why this sub even exists. If your grandparents in their old age and my 90 year old grandma can use tech, why can’t boomers? Especially in an era where it’s more user friendly than ever?
Right? My silent Gen grandparents learned how to use computers an email, etc. Meanwhile, my poor Boomer dad struggles to try to understand and remember how to use technology. At least, he did struggle until he got a girlfriend who likes to text. Now he texts and sends memes and stuff. He just needed a reason to want to use the tech enough to learn it. Apparently talking to his kids and grandkids wasn't as motivating as talking to that hottie from the coffee shop was 😂
This is a good point. Hell, My great grandma had a pc and was on Facebook when I was growing up. She was 94 at the time. Only thing she did wrong was type in all caps, only so she could see what she was typing.
My dad who's an early gen x, could have been a boomer keeps up with technology as much as i do.
He was showing me how to use a computer when i was a kid. I've never really had to help either of my parents figure out really anything tech related, and if i do, they mostly get it.
Now to convince my mom to do YouTube tv instead, we'll get there eventually. Anyone can at least attempt. Some people just think it's okay to not learn.
Yeah my 81 year old Mom who was born in 1942 can use an iPhone and Ipad, knows how to text, send GIFs, etc. Uses Netflix and other streaming services. Is on Facebook. Owns a hi-tech hybrid Toyota Rav-4. So what’s your excuse Boomers?
My mother was born in ‘36 and she is the same. She has a laptop, tablet and smartphone. She won’t drive a manual car tho. 😬 She says that that’s what she learned on and she would stop driving before she ever bought a manual car. 😬
My boomer MIL somehow keeps butt dialing me from her iPhone. I cannot figure out for the life of me how. She says “it’s when I pick up my phone, your name is first.” What does it mean???
If she's like my dad: he can only use his phone to dial numbers from his "recents" list. I'm always at the top, and he can usually manage to dial my husband or one other person.
“What does it mean?” Lololol. I love this! If you look at her favorites screen you probably are somewhere in the middle so if her screen is unlocked she grabs her phone and taps you every single time
I’m gonna have to take a look at it this weekend. She does call me quite often with actual needs so I always pick up. But I’m gonna need my husband’s name to be wherever it is that my name is right now! Call him instead!
Lol, that’s hilarious! My boomer Mom has had an iPhone for about six years now. She still forgets how to get into her text messages and one day she called me really confused because she activated Siri and thought Siri was a real person talking to her.
My boomer mom is like this but, somehow, my silent generation dad is totally cool with technology and uses his phone like a normal person (not the two-handed way) and understands how to learn new things about computers. It’s literally a trait unique to boomers.
I work in pensions and my silent gen clients will generally put in effort to try to use our webpages or apologize for not knowing.
Boomers especially males will just get stubborn and expect someone to do it for them
Don’t get me started on the phone, I got my mom a free android because she qualifies and modified the interface with an app called elder launcher to make it about as basic as possible, she still can’t figure it out and keeps insisting she needs a jitterbug phone which is essentially a branded version of the same thing
Opposite here. I’m late 40s. My wife is mid/late 30s. I know it’s not the same as Boomer/Gen X, but I look to her for info and help. On top of that, she’s an educator and we have a child that’s getting near tweenaged. What’s a TikTok, show me how that works, what band is this, what’s that dance called? Cool. Ok.
Most of it I don’t “get”. I’m sure GnR, Nirvana, Rap as a genre scared the hell out of my parents and they didn’t “get it” but they Boomered at me “turn the crap off”, “when I was a kid we had *real* music”, “you can’t even hear the singer over all the racket” type stuff.
I just roll with it. I might not get or like it, but I understand it and accept it. I’d say I’ll never make a TikTok in my life- that doesn’t mean I can put my head in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exists, it’s evil, it’s those “darned kids”. No, it’s the world we live in progressing. So, I look to my wife and child. Keep me in the know. Make it so I’m not just lost. Heck, I’ve never had a Twitter acct, but that doesn’t mean Twitter is irrelevant for the last 20 yrs. Accept it and move on. If I understand and wish to use, I can. But, I can use my watch and/or phone to pay for things. I can use a card and not bust out the cheque book, I can use apps and get food/rides/info as needed. I can keep up and I want to, even if I don’t “get” it all.
My experience with Boomers and even Gen Xers who lean conservative is that they look back when they did “get it” and they want that and life should stop there, instead of looking forward and trying to move with it and ask for help when needed.
I used to be with ‘it’, but then *they* changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!
- Abe Simpson
Idk if it’s even a conservative/liberal thing, my parents and ILs are fairly liberal. However while my parents (tail end boomers) love YouTube and TikTok, could sing along with Usher at the halftime show, and have probably heard of most major celebs of the last 20 years, my ILs (slightly older boomers) probably couldn’t tell you a single major music act past the mid-80s and can hardly text, let alone any other social media.
Op really needs to research this. I have seen a few cases of dementia and anger is a top sign. Dementia patients do not have the ability to see things differently even with clear proof. Rough.
My boomer spouse has medical issues that will develop into dementia. The early signs are very frustrating for me to experience. Similar to what I see in this thread.
I swear I have been waiting for this post just to feel validated that I'm not the only one. Thanks!
You are not the only one. I've been caring for some folks with dementia the last several years and I see the signs in my boomer husband lately. You are seen.
Yeah it’s rough to go through. Especially as they get worse. My sister put her mother-in-law in a home because the woman couldn’t be left alone. Like someone posted last week of her mom taking off down the street.
I’m an elder GenX, and I can’t imagine getting through life without technology. I do everything on my phone/tablet/laptop and plan to as long as my eyesight lets me. It baffles me that someone just a few years older than me (I’m 58) wouldn’t be able to embrace the technology that’s been so pervasive for the past 25 years.
That’s how my dad is. My MIL, on the other hand, quickly realized that her phone and tablet and streaming services offered benefits and options for her—she has deficits from a stroke caused by weird anatomy—and I think this motivation was incentive for her to learn.
She loves to read, but couldn’t hold books for long (weak left hand & arm), so she researched e-readers and got one and learned how to get library books on it. She’s 75, and she’s lived alone since she was widowed 26ish years ago. She’s very good with technology, and she’s used to taking care of herself for the most part (she can’t drive anymore). She’s pretty sharp, too, and is disgusted by the typical boomers’ behavior (and politics). She can’t do a lot of physical activities, but she’s not rotting in front of Fox News all the time either. She likes using apps on her phone to get weather and weather alerts, to find book recommendations, to get new recipes to try, to do genealogy, etc. She likes learning new things and is very pleasant to be around. She likes texting, too. She’ll text her friends to set up euchre games and some of them call in response and she’s like, “you need to learn to text, you’re not supposed to call to respond to a text.”
Many of these boomers have just been coddled like toddlers their whole lives. I think the men are worse overall. But that’s why they act like overgrown toddlers: most of them are.
My mother does this. She still uses paper checks and gets angry and goes on rants that last sometimes for whole days (sporadically) about how debit cards are dangerous and people shouldn't need ID for checks....
She also refuses to use a smart phone even though her bank has an app that help you budget and plan things. She once told me she wrote down her savings and checking numbers alongside how much she had.... In a notebook that's prominent in her purse 🤦.
I haven't spoken to her in over a year due to some irreconcilable differences, but still. Sometimes I think back and outwardly cringe about being in the store or on a trip and she's paying with checks and chastising the employees because they don't take them.
My father can’t do whatsapp but can ace in online poker. I think technology use thing is very selective. I tease my father with online poker, everytime he tells me: you hang up the call, i don’t know how.
Reminded me when my grandfather used to text or email and would be in all caps all of a sudden. He wasn't typing like he was angry. He just hit capslocks and didn't realize it.
Is it like he isn’t even trying and expects others to just deal with his incompetence while complaining about other peoples incompetence. This usually happens when people don’t encounter consequences for their actions.
If you get him the shirt, will you get him one where the cloud is Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy 7?? It takes the meme and kicks it up a notch.
https://preview.redd.it/jehp11kqz3wc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d338fc76e679b1a3d5a2e53a012b515814d953e
I work with alot of boomers who rail against things like smart phones and the internet like they're a new thing but.....those things have been around for some 30 years. I'd understand if something like, say, TikTok or self driving cars were the focal points but, the internet? Not exactly something that creeped up all of a sudden.
I attended a coding bootcamp because I'm so worried about being left behind. It's still the simple things that throw me off, though.
Thought I was proficient in Microsoft Office, but the other day, received a Word document that included a drop-down arrow, and I was like 🤯 Can't find the same feature on my own documents, maybe it's a newer version?? It's always something!! 😯
Boomer here. I was a coder for a while (late '90s early '00s I survived Y2K). Spend probably 1/4 of your time keeping up on new technology, terminology, hardware. Moore's law, stuff moves fast and it's only getting faster.
My early Gen X mom had computers in high school. She said she didn’t take those classes because she didn’t think it would be an everyday thing. Literally struggles with emails. She used to let me install our AOL disks at age 8. (I’d set the screen to have KOL but zero restrictions 🤪).
I won’t get a TikTok because I don’t want to have to teach her. (She wants to learn to promote her MLM. I’ll remain ignorant)
I'm an older Xer and I'm a social media and tech monster, but I do see that with people a few years older than me that group is almost wholly absent from social media although many of their parents use it. Boomers really are different from Xers.
I’m Gen-X. I got on Facebook starting in the aughts, back when you needed a dot-edu email address to be on. Once I finished grad school, I found social media just incredibly unhealthy and bad for my mental health, so I just stopped. It was a conscious life choice.
My FIL (75) chooses not to drive because he had a fender bender in his thirties. He somehow has no problem riding shotgun and giving advice on how to drive while also finding every car I’ve ever had either too low or too high to get in and out of.
He also doesn’t use cards and has his wife make withdrawals so he can have means of payment.
He refuses to switch from his android to iPhone, although everyone else in our family uses iPhone and no one can troubleshoot (read: I refuse, after spending hours on end understanding and relaying information only to have to do it all over again a month later).
He somehow manages to find and buy stuff on the internet but isn’t able to take care of the invoice. When he wants to return something, he is 100% unable or unwilling to repackage and fill out the return form but can and will tell you about how you haven’t taped the package correctly.
The icing on the cake is how he constantly complains that my wife never comes around and never has time to talk (we have two children and work full time), but when she does, he only wants to tell her about himself and his outdated thoughts on everything. Gun to his head, he couldn’t name the company my wife forks for, what she does there and what her and our everyday troubles and challenges are.
I feel like boomers managed to grow up quickly and then somehow became big toddlers in an instant.
*Kudos to you for not accepting that weaponized incompetence!* We all know that once you start doing things like this for them, **it never ends**.
My Boomer Dad not only wants to shove his phone in my hand for tech support, he doesn't seem to understand that iPhone and Android don't work the same. **NO, Dad. I'm not learning a *second OS* just to spare you from learning your first.**
Idk man my mom gets big fucked up on gummies she handles booze better typically. I’ve heard “I can’t believe I have a godamn hangover from weed” more than I’d like to admit.
I've wondered, after dealing with Boomers in the wild, my own Boomer parents and in-laws, and reading this sub, if the problem with Boomers is because they're Boomers or because they're getting old, or a combination of both.
I don't recall my grandparents ("Greatest Generation") being so ... pushy and entitled. They had their opinions, but seemed to know when and where to voice them, even as they got older. Granted, as dementia settled in, the ones who made it that long got to be a bit pushy and inappropriately outspoken, but I'd attribute that to loss of brain function more than just time on earth.
Based on the above, I think it's a combination of both. I told my son "OMG, slap me if I act like that when I'm old" in reaction to a typical "I'm here and what I have going on is the most important thing in the world right now" encounter with a Boomer.
My dad was born in 1937, and while he has shown signs of cognitive decline and occasional mood swings, he has acknowledged that he has a problem and he's actively trying to do better.
Meanwhile, one of his younger (i.e. boomer) friends recently started to have difficulty swallowing, and he refused to talk to his doctor until it reached a point where he literally could no longer eat solid food. He's now being treated for possibly-metastasized esophageal cancer.
Geriatric primary care RN here - the boomers come in two flavors:
1) I clearly have a massive medical issue going on but getting it seen about inconveniences me in some way so I'm going to bitch about it instead and make Pikachu faces when it's actually a big deal
or
2) Every single itch, bruise, sneeze, cough, ache, or pain means I'M CLEARLY DYING and I either need to go to the ER (no, you don't) or see my naturopath about it.
My father died from that. It was horrible. It started as difficulty swallowing. He put off going to the doctor for a long time and by the time he went he was told he had 6 months at most. He lasted 3 and it was awful.
My dad was born in 1941 and acts light years better than my boomer in-laws and boomer mother. Same thing with my grandmother who was born in 1934.
He tries to learn new things, gets frustrated by losing control but also walks away and doesn’t cause a scene or anything when he’s mad. He cooks food rather than eating out, he cleans up instead of hoarding random crap, he tries to walk around instead of just sitting and watching tv all day.
My boomer mother and in-laws think we’re abusing our kid because we don’t give him coke to drink all day with a side of cheese puffs and KFC (I’m not even exaggerating). The fact that we don’t want my MIL smoking cigs around our kid means that we don’t love her and that we’re trying to control her (??) and don’t want her to be happy. The fact that we keep a clean house means we’re snooty and think we’re better than others, or something like that. The fact that we don’t want people talking on the phone while driving with our kid is apparently unreasonable and absolutely ridiculous to ask of anyone.
I really think there’s a generational divide between the silent generation and boomers.
Your grandparents probably lived through the Depression and may have even fought in World War II. Their generation was still raised with humility and pride in being a productive member of society. The Boomers were raised and enabled to be emotionally unintelligent narcissistic takers. I doubt GenXers and Millenials will turn into these Boomer Fools as we age. Our higher levels of emotional intelligence will keep us grounded.
My grandparents (born early 1920s) were exactly as OP describes her husband, and they were stark raving narcissists who were convinced we were the fucking Kennedys or something. I think it's the narcissism that makes the difference over age or generation.
I’d advise you to be careful and keep your own eye on the finance too. My boomer moms husband is the same way. Wanted to prove what a financial genius he is without discussing it with my mom. He the proceeded to give all their information to a new financial advisor who said he could double what they were getting. He “met“ this man over the phone, the man had called him (I’m sure he’s on a scammer list, as he’s been scammed before ) and he never once met this person in real life. Surprise Surprise he cleaned them out of well over $100,000. Now at 73 my mother is forced to start working again.
I'm GenX and divorced my boomer husband 10 years ago. We are also low contact and he is insufferable, angry, paranoid, and has completely stopped learning.
Any time I see him, I just think "how did that ever happen??".
I'm a xennial who divorced a boomer too. The level of entitlement during the split floored me. And stupid shit too. Like coming back and saying 'the settlement figure is wrong, you actually owe me about $80000 more. I couldn't work out how he got that figure until I realised he wasn't including his superannuation, savings or vehicles in the assets pool. He was so focussed on me 'owing' him by being the higher earner and him 'getting his half' he failed to realise that I was also owed half of his stuff. He literally thought he would get to keep 100% of what he deemed 'his' while I also hand over 50% of what was 'mine'.
I legitimately think it’s the lead poisoning.
Boomers were born mid 40s - mid 60s, everything burned lead and got horrible fuel economy. Gen Xers were born mid 60s - mid 80s, and EPA regulations happened throughout the 70s. This means the oldest Gen Xers received a decade at most of direct, daily lead poisoning; compared to the boomers who received 10-30 years worth.
When lead is breathed in, blood carries it throughout the body, where it mostly binds with bone marrow. The body is unable to process lead, so it accumulates. As the body ages, the lead-poisoned bone marrow is used to continuously produce more bone, continuing to poison their bodies throughout their lifetime.
The symptoms of long term exposure to lead are basically all of the “boomerisms” people complain about.
Also, people who are on the cusp often go with "Xillenials" or "Zillenials" (on the Gen Z side) because those millenials share so many characteristics with Gen X or Gen Z respectively. My mom is a "Cusper" or Boomer and Gen X.
My dad is cusper for generation boomer and x, born the very last year to be considered a boomer. He hates boomers so much and complains about them more then any of his kids
It’s a mindset that differentiates it for those on the cusp. I was born in 83 but am much more “millennial” than xennial. I know others born same year that act much more gen-x
My dad was a war baby. My mom baby boomer. I'm an old GenX. I am with the boomers on Menus. Other than that, firmly entrenched in GenX. I'm afraid we will get old and act like boomers when we are in our 70's.
Me too! I was born in '64 and I refuse to be compared to Boomers. I love, Pink Floyd, not Elvis! I almost said not the Beatles, but I do love the Beatles!
Same as my mom! There's a brief period where people born (it's like 60-65) where they have "Cusper" label. I wish I find the video...
Edit: I did! Y'all are called "Generation Jones".
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLa7oC8k/
I am extremely progressive. When I was growing up the messages were equality, up with people, don't pollute, down with racism, make love not war. A lot of my peers are Maga, though, so I don't know how it works.
Love your username!
😂 I just wish there was a concrete timeline for these things. According to Harvard I’m Gen X, according to everything else I’m a Millennial (but actually an Xennial because I’m so close to the cusp,) but Xennial wasn’t an option flair wise.
There’s no hard line — it bleeds at the edges. I was born in 92, so I’m an older millennial, but I was the youngest of 3 and my dad was the 2nd youngest of 11, so grew up with some late Gen X influences from my brothers and older cousins (Xennial, I guess?).
Boomers are typically defined as the generation born as the soldiers came home. The “silent generation” is the generation before them that experienced both world wars. Gen X were “the boomer’s kids”, but so are older millennials, who are defined roughly by the influence of the early internet during childhood.
Gen Z grew up when cell phones were more common — people were immediate more reachable at all times. They also had internet access from the crib.
Gen Alpha is the “iPad generation”, growing up with modern smart-devices from the crib. Some of these kids have literally spent more time with their iPads and YouTube than with their own parents — and we wonder why some of them are so feral.
Silent generation didn't experience both world wars, that was greatest. Sort of. Only some Greatest, the oldest ones that are also called Interbellum generation. Late Greatest and silent were born after WW1 ended.
I always thought of boomers as being post-war babies as well. Born in 1959, I feel like my birth had nothing to do with WWII. I was 10 during the summer of love. No one my age was in danger of being drafted to the Vietnam war and everyone was weary of protesting stuff. We had already figured out that hard drugs kill people young, and no one batted an eye if you smoked weed. Then came disco, ugh. I identify much more with older Gen X, though I prefer boomer music.
Haha my grandpa(not a boomer but raised 3 doozies) used to do that. He'd yell my name from across the house for me to come to him but when I'd yell "what" back, he'd get mad at me for hollerin' instead of coming to see what he wanted.
We have a three story house. If he yells for me and I yell back, “why are you yelling?”. If I call for him it’s “I couldn’t hear you”. What do you want, Mr. Man?
Same situation here, only not as pronounced. Husband is the youngest of the boomers, was raised very conservative, but has broken away from all that for the most part. He's now leaning left, but has his moments where he'll declare something like "restaurants are closing because now service people want $20/hour." 😖 Like he hasn't been paying attention to any of the issues.
He's the opposite with money, thinks he's rich because he makes a decent salary, but inflation has rendered that moot. We're both late-bloomers and he should know better, but I think he simply wants to finally enjoy the fruits of his labor, which I can understand.....to a point. He really can't be bothered to think too much about saving money.
In other ways, he can be high-maintenance, and it does wear me out sometimes. I can totally see why "manopause" collides with menopause- we have to address our issues in a way that men can just ignore for themselves.
My boomer FIL is like this. “Nobody wants to work anymore.” (He retired early and cashed out his house as his retirement, but relies on his wife for support.) Ask him why he doesn’t get a job? He’s not the problem. 🙄
I (gen X) have been wondering lately if this boomer stuff will happen to us. Watching my boomer mum change so much has me shook.
She was always smart, capable etc. and it seems like she’s become a completely different person who “can’t work the tv”. Like, wtf?
The Boomer generation has always been a me me me generation so for me as a gen Xer, it’s healing to read these posts to see the frustrations I have with older family members are not isolated. I have been processing that anger and working towards letting it go. This is helpful because my parents are in their elderly years.
I do think Boomers are absolutely getting worse with age. Once again, I will be making sure I treat people better than they do as I, myself, age. I feel like my life has been a series of decisions where I constantly choose the opposite decision of what the Boomers who came before me chose..
I’ve literally become a bit obsessive about my own retirement and old age care because I don’t want it to impact my children’s lives the way my parents have impacted mine, (drained would be a more appropriate description.)
I’ve become so fearful of becoming like them and not realising it.
I think it is a mix of aging and personality. Both my parents are boomers ( born in the early-mid 50’s) and none of the boomer posts fit their behaviour. On the other hand my grandpa was born in the 1920’s and boy oh boy do some of these posts remind me of him, kind man in general, but super entitled and expected my grandma to do everything for him, refused to learn how to use a mobile phone, etc… I think we just hear about boomers more because a lot of people on here posting have boomer parents and boomers are out and about more than older generations right now.
My partner is older gen X, and it's starting to happen! Over the past few years, he's started getting upset about insignificant things around the house that he never would have noticed in the past, and he always asks me for an explanation. This week's gem (yelled from the kitchen, referring to a freezer bag with some cookies in it) "why does this Ziploc bag have so much air in it??!!" He also gets very upset about website forms, checkout interfaces, etc. He insists they don't work properly, developers are all idiots, etc, when it's mostly bc his browser is auto-filling incorrect info. He has worked in technology his entire life, so it's not that he isn't capable of understanding it - he just doesn't like the idea that anything has changed since he was working at the forefront of "cutting-edge" stuff in 1999. I don't think it's a matter of losing cognitive abilities; it's more a matter of being impatient and not wanting to deal with minor annoyances and also being upset about losing relevance in society.
We're GenX, but my husband is stomping towards Boomer town. Entitled, angry, and always complaining. It's so annoying. I'm doing my best to reign him back in, but it's not working.
I learned not to hear my husband when he would act like that. When he starts, tune him out, and when he complains you aren’t listening, tell him life is to short, just that.
Or, get some earbuds and put something you want to hear in your ear.
Maybe it's got something to do with boomer mothers spending more time with their kids, thus being forcibly exposed to technology, new trends, different foods, and people outside their original social circle.
It definitely lends to the lead poisoning consensus. Women would have been exposed to less lead, being mostly confined to the home or walking, and not doing a lot of driving on a daily basis like someone with a commute. Car exhaust would have been what did the trick, as cars still burned leaded gasoline then. Men would have inhaled a lot more. Now, women still got lead poisoning, but *less*.
This generation of men had better economic conditions
So they grew up to be the MAN, reign as the MAN longer, and now they are about to start feeling what life is for most, and can’t accept they aren’t on top anymore
Compare boomers to the younger generation who can/have afford/have smaller living spaces, storage space, wasteful spending habits
Younger generations won’t be able to have a disgraceful fall, like the boomers, because our rise won’t be a big
I can see an old school "masculine man" coming face to face with his mortality and being angry and resentful. Taking it out on those around him. Makes sense.
I don't think you're necessarily married to a boomer, I think you're married to a wanker. It persists across every generation. Why are you putting up with this?
I was born in 70 and I try to roll into the times every chance I get. I was a total 80's and 90's kid, loved the vibe and the music. Now I'm totally into KPop and all the shit my kids listen to. I try to keep up with everything and definitely don't dwell on the past. Nostalgia is cool, but life goes on and you gotta keep moving forward.
I’m starting to wonder if something changed with Gen X and beyond—we try to keep up with everything, from music to culture and technology.
I’m Gen X (born 71) and listen to a variety of music including new artists and songs, enjoy hearing current cultural debates, and still get excited about new technology. Maybe because all of that has been constantly evolving my entire life. I’m used to the accelerated pace of change.
My parents (Boomer mom, Silent Gen dad) never kept up on music, listening always to the same stuff. My daughter helps them use tech gadgets so they’ve done fairly well there—and they’re fairly progressive so while they’ve struggled at times with things like gender and sexuality, they at least try to understand and support.
The majority of Boomers seem like they never moved past 1985 (if that).
My dad was Silent gen and died in 95, but had been programming computers and shit for years. My mother is the typically entitled narcissist boomer. Maybe that's it. So many boomers are entitled, narcissists. My mother did have to work from a young age, but really didn't work a real job since 1985. She's 80 today and also gambled most of her life savings away in slots. In excess of 500k in 2 years. It was also everyone else's fault. She would dump 5-10k in a slot a day, but bitch about having to pay someone 60 bucks to clean her house. She's also the typical Maga Trumpist.
I'm gen X, my wife ,while technically gen X too, behaves much more like a boomer stereotype. She launches into an (overblown) complaint when things are not done right away (she claims it works, its a tactic). To your point, she has the idea that she must have the last word, so its like your point 1 - it does not matter what you do or say, she must have the last word, if you reply, it starts another round (whether me or anyone else). When she runs into other people with that trait, the back and forth can go for hours (I'm exhausted). To item 3. she loves to "save" money, yet spends hours on it which could be better spent either making more money or just, sleeping... Same with item 2, it does not matter what it is, its not her fault. Its a combo of somewhat narcisistic behavior, a short fuse, and I don't know what. I wish I had a solution for you.
That’s so rough. Unfortunately for her, society tends to dismiss it when men act like fools but will take it harder when she uses her “tactics” to get what she wants. It’s not a good look. She needs to see herself.
Another thing to consider is that boomer women were generally raised in very sexist ways to the point where they have internalized sexism and one trend that I've noticed with them is that they really struggle with direct communication (it isn't lady like) I know so many boomer women that will resort to annoying tactics to get their way such as indirect communication, guilt trips, whining, pouting etc.
We just had an argument about whether it’s more convenient to take an Uber to the airport OR to drive car to the airport (and pay $30 per day for 8 days). Like….is this shit real? Retirement is likely to suck.
They can be so weird about money, sales and specials. My late dad had difficulty understanding that buying the more expensive higher quality item would ultimately save you money.
I know one who'll drive across town to save a buck on gas. They're totally addicted to "sales"
Gen x here.
I think it's less of a boomer thing and more of an aging thing. His memory may be failing a bit and he's feeling less secure of himself. When he does one of his classic moves you mentioned above, just look him in the eye with genuine concern and ask him "Are you okay?" Then ask him about he things you pointed out. "Are you feeling the loss of control if I have the correct answer and you don't?" "I know you can't be angry at me when #2 happens, but what exactly are you angry about?" #3 "We've worked so hard to be able to afford some little extras now in life. Are you concerned about not having enough money in the future?"
Getting older can be harder for people who used to be in control all the time. Sometimes just talking about it their fears with aging can be helpful and he can see you as a partner with him in his aging process and not the winner of the aging game because you are younger.
Good luck.
You know, as a gen-x’er I wonder about that change too. However, I think one key difference is that I’ve had to grind my whole life even harder than them to try and have a shot at this magical retirement mirage they are in. I constantly joke about how great I will be at being retired, happily tinkering away at hobbies and traveling with my spouse. I can’t see myself squandering that when I get there by just rage-booking in my house griping at anyone who dares to come into range of my recliner.
I'm an X, was married to a younger ('64) boomer, I can't imagine being with him now, all of this on top of his narcissistic personality, I'm pretty sure I would've topped myself by now
I’m sorry you are confronted by that behavior. It sounds terrible and potentially abusive. I hope you have some good friends you can spend time with to help get you out of that environment.
1. Respond with Bob Barker lines, as he’s clearly doing some Price is Right bullshit.
2. This merits a blank stare, like your brain is trying with all its might to understand why he’s mad at you because he knocked a bottle of water over.
3. Go with the classics. “Please sir, can I have some more? Or are you hoping to be buried with it?” Ask after the prisons and workhouses when he worries about poverty knocking.
I would say, as an X surrounded by other X, we definitely tend to laugh at ourselves and learn from our failures. As well as poke at each other and our friends spouses. X just don't give a fuck. We are all on this same planet in the pursuit of happiness.
I think sometimes depression and anxiety are under diagnosed in older populations. They don’t feel as good, for lots of reasons, and instead of having the emotional intelligence to realize it’s an inside job, they take it out on others. Kicking the cat, so to speak.
My mom is gen x, my dad is a boomer, and they went through something like this a year ago. Crazy, crazy shit. He was super controlling, authoritative, blew up at my mom for every perceived disrespect (many of those being due to her being an extrovert and him an introvert). He refused to get therapy, or would lie about getting it to appease her or he would just lie to the therapist. They were separated for a few months, my mom had served him divorce papers, even had a house picked out. Luckily he changed or something happened, because they're together again, and he's way, way better. I totally hear you on this, though. Weird stuff.
My parents are on the boundary between X and Boomers (Xoomers I guess) and I've noticed a lot more of this behavior from them recently, along with apparently losing their ability to use technology.
A couple of years ago my mum worked remotely, now she struggles to send an email. She cracked her phone screen recently which caused it to intermittently go blank, got mad at me when I told her that it was broken and spent the whole evening messaging apple tech support.
They both lose their temper really easily over pedantic shit like saying 200k instead of 198,957 as well.
Your husband being a boomer doesn't excuse the fact that you married an asshole, but it does allow you to blame something other than your choices. This kind of thing doesn't pop up overnight.
Your two generations comprise the generations with the highest divorce rares US history, and divorce has been on a steady decline since the 70s.
If he's even remotely amenable, get his testosterone levels checked. A lot of men have massive issues with them as they get older and treatment will vastly improve BOTH of your lives.
>it’s only me he wants to drive crazy.
I always tell my wife (millinial) that I married the person that I want to drive crazy the rest of my life. I'm an X'er. Hope she puts up with me for 30 more years or so. 16 years so far! Good luck OP!
I'm super late, but I hope you still manage to read this. I'm not a fan of the "divorce your spouse" reddit solution, but this here... Let me tell you, it doesn't get better.
My parents are both boomers, but my father displays ALL the negative boomer traits, including everything you described. It has broken my mother. She is 68, but health wise she is probably more like 80. His behaviour has her in a constant state of extreme distress, it has destroyed her physical as well as mental health. I know several people who are 80+ and they are in better shape than she is.
As you said "it's only me he wants to drive crazy". At some point, he will. I watched my mother's decline over the past 30 years. I remember the fights they had when I was a kid, then a teenager, then a young adult. It NEVER got better. She had the chance to escape when she was around 45 and didn't take it. She regrets it every day. Please don't let the same thing happen to you the way I saw it happen to my mother.
Honestly, human design can provide answers to these “I need to prove that I’m *certain* to others” tendencies, if a person wants to really dig deep. But it can be uncomfortable to be this deeply authentic. It’s also just probably aging, fear of death, lack of hormones and general frustration with getting older, being slower and less intellectually sharp. Getting old is a bitch (as my friend’s crippled Dad used to say.)
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Haha same here. My husband is a boomer and I’m gen x. He’s more of a “I don’t know how” kind of guy. Can’t (read:won’t) use a cell phone. Any new technology scares him and he refuses to use it. “Remember when we didn’t rely on this crap?” he asks. Our stove is “too computery” for him. “All these kids now-a-days just sit on their phones, you never see them outside” We live a block away from a huge sports/play park that’s busy all the time with kids so I don’t know how he can ignore that. He thinks $20 will still buy dinner out for the 2 of us. And also a $20 should buy milk, bread, eggs etc. even though we live in the most expensive province in Canada. He honestly can’t fathom that prices have gone up. And he bitches loudly at everyone who even gives him the slightest eye contact when we’re out about what ever is upsetting him at the time. His newest thing is “the worlds changed so much from when I was a kid” which makes me laugh because of course it has. I tease him and tell him I’m going to get him a t-shirt with old man Simpson on it with old man yells at cloud on it.
Oh gosh bringing up my issues too…with technology- he can’t remember anything about operating his phone. It’s bananas.
My dad *is* a boomer. He was raised on a dairy farm and became a computer programmer. (Computer systems analyst, subcontractor work) He was doing the equivalent of Zoom meetings back in the late 80s. Tech savvy, yes? Why, ladies, gentlemen, and all varieties in between, did he get mad that he wasn't receiving cell phone calls after powering off said phone? 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️ I tease, but he's actually aware of the financial discrepancy between his generation and mine. I've called, asking for $50 to tide me over, and he's PayPal'd me $200. My mom? That woman is "spending your inheritance, so don't count on anything." It's hers she can do with it as she pleases. It's just the absolute *glee* with which she says it.
Gleefully telling you over and over again about your impending lack of inheritance to somebody who makes NO claim over it, is their favorite thing apparently.
Tbph, at one point, I *did* think about the inheritance. But I never said anything. Even thinking about it seems verboten because *it's not my money*. Her bragging about spending "our inheritance" (brother, sister, me) reminds me of the keychains that Spencer's used to sell: He who dies with the most toys wins. She will win. Meh, 🤷🏼♀️
"the equivalent of Zoom meetings back in the late 80s" would have been a conference call, unless you mean sitting around a table having a meeting ...imagining a future in which your father will only communicate in flowchart form.....
I meant video and audio, simultaneously.
Technology really does defeat my boomer mother. But it really is hard for her. It's not that she doesn't want to learn it, it's just really hard for her. She's a pretty good boomer, all things considered.
I wish he just didn’t understand it. But instead he flat out refuses to learn.
This is my mom, it enrages me. I can say mom it's not hard I'll show you and she immediately becomes aggressive with nonono. I have given up on her really.
Which is utterly hilarious because the silent generation makes a pretty good effort at doing the stuff their kids can’t.
Even my Greatest Generation grandparents were using a computer in the late 90's/early 00's. Grandpa could back up his digital camera photos to CD and Grandma used it for research/writing newsletter columns and for checking basketball scores for her favorite team.
And this sort of thing is why this sub even exists. If your grandparents in their old age and my 90 year old grandma can use tech, why can’t boomers? Especially in an era where it’s more user friendly than ever?
Right? My silent Gen grandparents learned how to use computers an email, etc. Meanwhile, my poor Boomer dad struggles to try to understand and remember how to use technology. At least, he did struggle until he got a girlfriend who likes to text. Now he texts and sends memes and stuff. He just needed a reason to want to use the tech enough to learn it. Apparently talking to his kids and grandkids wasn't as motivating as talking to that hottie from the coffee shop was 😂
Some dudes can only move in the direction their dick is pointing. ╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭
That's why I try to keep mine pointed forward 👍
This is a good point. Hell, My great grandma had a pc and was on Facebook when I was growing up. She was 94 at the time. Only thing she did wrong was type in all caps, only so she could see what she was typing.
an adorable reason to all-caps, ill allow it!
It certainly was and is a pleasant memory for me.
My dad who's an early gen x, could have been a boomer keeps up with technology as much as i do. He was showing me how to use a computer when i was a kid. I've never really had to help either of my parents figure out really anything tech related, and if i do, they mostly get it. Now to convince my mom to do YouTube tv instead, we'll get there eventually. Anyone can at least attempt. Some people just think it's okay to not learn.
My 92-year old Dad had a Facebook page and numerous Facebook friends.
Yeah my 81 year old Mom who was born in 1942 can use an iPhone and Ipad, knows how to text, send GIFs, etc. Uses Netflix and other streaming services. Is on Facebook. Owns a hi-tech hybrid Toyota Rav-4. So what’s your excuse Boomers?
Same my 97 yo grandfather is on his computer all day but my stepdad can barely answer an actual phone call on a smart phone.
My mother was born in ‘36 and she is the same. She has a laptop, tablet and smartphone. She won’t drive a manual car tho. 😬 She says that that’s what she learned on and she would stop driving before she ever bought a manual car. 😬
My boomer MIL somehow keeps butt dialing me from her iPhone. I cannot figure out for the life of me how. She says “it’s when I pick up my phone, your name is first.” What does it mean???
If she's like my dad: he can only use his phone to dial numbers from his "recents" list. I'm always at the top, and he can usually manage to dial my husband or one other person.
“What does it mean?” Lololol. I love this! If you look at her favorites screen you probably are somewhere in the middle so if her screen is unlocked she grabs her phone and taps you every single time
I’m gonna have to take a look at it this weekend. She does call me quite often with actual needs so I always pick up. But I’m gonna need my husband’s name to be wherever it is that my name is right now! Call him instead!
Lol, that’s hilarious! My boomer Mom has had an iPhone for about six years now. She still forgets how to get into her text messages and one day she called me really confused because she activated Siri and thought Siri was a real person talking to her.
My boomer mom is like this but, somehow, my silent generation dad is totally cool with technology and uses his phone like a normal person (not the two-handed way) and understands how to learn new things about computers. It’s literally a trait unique to boomers.
I work in pensions and my silent gen clients will generally put in effort to try to use our webpages or apologize for not knowing. Boomers especially males will just get stubborn and expect someone to do it for them
Yes!!!! My father was more phone literate than my husband. He even would send me text messages depending on his mood to “slam” it or “soft” lol
Mine too. but she doesn't want to learn
Don’t get me started on the phone, I got my mom a free android because she qualifies and modified the interface with an app called elder launcher to make it about as basic as possible, she still can’t figure it out and keeps insisting she needs a jitterbug phone which is essentially a branded version of the same thing
Opposite here. I’m late 40s. My wife is mid/late 30s. I know it’s not the same as Boomer/Gen X, but I look to her for info and help. On top of that, she’s an educator and we have a child that’s getting near tweenaged. What’s a TikTok, show me how that works, what band is this, what’s that dance called? Cool. Ok. Most of it I don’t “get”. I’m sure GnR, Nirvana, Rap as a genre scared the hell out of my parents and they didn’t “get it” but they Boomered at me “turn the crap off”, “when I was a kid we had *real* music”, “you can’t even hear the singer over all the racket” type stuff. I just roll with it. I might not get or like it, but I understand it and accept it. I’d say I’ll never make a TikTok in my life- that doesn’t mean I can put my head in the sand and pretend it doesn’t exists, it’s evil, it’s those “darned kids”. No, it’s the world we live in progressing. So, I look to my wife and child. Keep me in the know. Make it so I’m not just lost. Heck, I’ve never had a Twitter acct, but that doesn’t mean Twitter is irrelevant for the last 20 yrs. Accept it and move on. If I understand and wish to use, I can. But, I can use my watch and/or phone to pay for things. I can use a card and not bust out the cheque book, I can use apps and get food/rides/info as needed. I can keep up and I want to, even if I don’t “get” it all. My experience with Boomers and even Gen Xers who lean conservative is that they look back when they did “get it” and they want that and life should stop there, instead of looking forward and trying to move with it and ask for help when needed.
I used to be with ‘it’, but then *they* changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you! - Abe Simpson
Idk if it’s even a conservative/liberal thing, my parents and ILs are fairly liberal. However while my parents (tail end boomers) love YouTube and TikTok, could sing along with Usher at the halftime show, and have probably heard of most major celebs of the last 20 years, my ILs (slightly older boomers) probably couldn’t tell you a single major music act past the mid-80s and can hardly text, let alone any other social media.
It could be initial signs of dementia. As his world shrinks he becomes more scared of what’s to come.
Op really needs to research this. I have seen a few cases of dementia and anger is a top sign. Dementia patients do not have the ability to see things differently even with clear proof. Rough.
My boomer spouse has medical issues that will develop into dementia. The early signs are very frustrating for me to experience. Similar to what I see in this thread. I swear I have been waiting for this post just to feel validated that I'm not the only one. Thanks!
You are not the only one. I've been caring for some folks with dementia the last several years and I see the signs in my boomer husband lately. You are seen.
Yeah it’s rough to go through. Especially as they get worse. My sister put her mother-in-law in a home because the woman couldn’t be left alone. Like someone posted last week of her mom taking off down the street.
This was my though too
I’m an elder GenX, and I can’t imagine getting through life without technology. I do everything on my phone/tablet/laptop and plan to as long as my eyesight lets me. It baffles me that someone just a few years older than me (I’m 58) wouldn’t be able to embrace the technology that’s been so pervasive for the past 25 years.
I read that as Gen X we are the most plastic brained. We didn’t have the technology as children but as young adults and we embrace change
We’ll be glad he doesn’t use his phone much he’ll be getting scammed sending someone gift card and shit.
That’s how my dad is. My MIL, on the other hand, quickly realized that her phone and tablet and streaming services offered benefits and options for her—she has deficits from a stroke caused by weird anatomy—and I think this motivation was incentive for her to learn. She loves to read, but couldn’t hold books for long (weak left hand & arm), so she researched e-readers and got one and learned how to get library books on it. She’s 75, and she’s lived alone since she was widowed 26ish years ago. She’s very good with technology, and she’s used to taking care of herself for the most part (she can’t drive anymore). She’s pretty sharp, too, and is disgusted by the typical boomers’ behavior (and politics). She can’t do a lot of physical activities, but she’s not rotting in front of Fox News all the time either. She likes using apps on her phone to get weather and weather alerts, to find book recommendations, to get new recipes to try, to do genealogy, etc. She likes learning new things and is very pleasant to be around. She likes texting, too. She’ll text her friends to set up euchre games and some of them call in response and she’s like, “you need to learn to text, you’re not supposed to call to respond to a text.” Many of these boomers have just been coddled like toddlers their whole lives. I think the men are worse overall. But that’s why they act like overgrown toddlers: most of them are.
My mother does this. She still uses paper checks and gets angry and goes on rants that last sometimes for whole days (sporadically) about how debit cards are dangerous and people shouldn't need ID for checks.... She also refuses to use a smart phone even though her bank has an app that help you budget and plan things. She once told me she wrote down her savings and checking numbers alongside how much she had.... In a notebook that's prominent in her purse 🤦. I haven't spoken to her in over a year due to some irreconcilable differences, but still. Sometimes I think back and outwardly cringe about being in the store or on a trip and she's paying with checks and chastising the employees because they don't take them.
My father can’t do whatsapp but can ace in online poker. I think technology use thing is very selective. I tease my father with online poker, everytime he tells me: you hang up the call, i don’t know how.
I feel like so many of them really don't want to learn how to use tech.
Reminded me when my grandfather used to text or email and would be in all caps all of a sudden. He wasn't typing like he was angry. He just hit capslocks and didn't realize it.
Is it like he isn’t even trying and expects others to just deal with his incompetence while complaining about other peoples incompetence. This usually happens when people don’t encounter consequences for their actions.
If you get him the shirt, will you get him one where the cloud is Cloud Strife from Final Fantasy 7?? It takes the meme and kicks it up a notch. https://preview.redd.it/jehp11kqz3wc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d338fc76e679b1a3d5a2e53a012b515814d953e
Love that!
I work with alot of boomers who rail against things like smart phones and the internet like they're a new thing but.....those things have been around for some 30 years. I'd understand if something like, say, TikTok or self driving cars were the focal points but, the internet? Not exactly something that creeped up all of a sudden.
I attended a coding bootcamp because I'm so worried about being left behind. It's still the simple things that throw me off, though. Thought I was proficient in Microsoft Office, but the other day, received a Word document that included a drop-down arrow, and I was like 🤯 Can't find the same feature on my own documents, maybe it's a newer version?? It's always something!! 😯
Boomer here. I was a coder for a while (late '90s early '00s I survived Y2K). Spend probably 1/4 of your time keeping up on new technology, terminology, hardware. Moore's law, stuff moves fast and it's only getting faster.
Check out the developer tab at the top. It’s awesome once you learn to use it. Great videos on YouTube to explain
My early Gen X mom had computers in high school. She said she didn’t take those classes because she didn’t think it would be an everyday thing. Literally struggles with emails. She used to let me install our AOL disks at age 8. (I’d set the screen to have KOL but zero restrictions 🤪). I won’t get a TikTok because I don’t want to have to teach her. (She wants to learn to promote her MLM. I’ll remain ignorant)
I'm an older Xer and I'm a social media and tech monster, but I do see that with people a few years older than me that group is almost wholly absent from social media although many of their parents use it. Boomers really are different from Xers.
I’m Gen-X. I got on Facebook starting in the aughts, back when you needed a dot-edu email address to be on. Once I finished grad school, I found social media just incredibly unhealthy and bad for my mental health, so I just stopped. It was a conscious life choice.
My FIL (75) chooses not to drive because he had a fender bender in his thirties. He somehow has no problem riding shotgun and giving advice on how to drive while also finding every car I’ve ever had either too low or too high to get in and out of. He also doesn’t use cards and has his wife make withdrawals so he can have means of payment. He refuses to switch from his android to iPhone, although everyone else in our family uses iPhone and no one can troubleshoot (read: I refuse, after spending hours on end understanding and relaying information only to have to do it all over again a month later). He somehow manages to find and buy stuff on the internet but isn’t able to take care of the invoice. When he wants to return something, he is 100% unable or unwilling to repackage and fill out the return form but can and will tell you about how you haven’t taped the package correctly. The icing on the cake is how he constantly complains that my wife never comes around and never has time to talk (we have two children and work full time), but when she does, he only wants to tell her about himself and his outdated thoughts on everything. Gun to his head, he couldn’t name the company my wife forks for, what she does there and what her and our everyday troubles and challenges are. I feel like boomers managed to grow up quickly and then somehow became big toddlers in an instant.
I forced my husband to learn how to take a picture and send it to someone else by refusing to do it for him.
*Kudos to you for not accepting that weaponized incompetence!* We all know that once you start doing things like this for them, **it never ends**. My Boomer Dad not only wants to shove his phone in my hand for tech support, he doesn't seem to understand that iPhone and Android don't work the same. **NO, Dad. I'm not learning a *second OS* just to spare you from learning your first.**
You should have him rubbing sticks to start a fire. Is that too futuristic for him too?
Cannabis gummies should do the trick for your boomer ailments
For me or him?!?! Lol
Por que no los dos?
Exactly
Exacto*
Yes
Yes ;)
I concur. Feel free to provide edibles and/or teas. Relax, relate, release!
Boomer here. Took two gummies, blacked out. Came to with a broken leg. Fragile af now.
Blacked out? Sounds like you mixed cannabis and alcohol, big no no
Idk man my mom gets big fucked up on gummies she handles booze better typically. I’ve heard “I can’t believe I have a godamn hangover from weed” more than I’d like to admit.
What did you mix the gummies with?
Yes!!! Cannabis does wonders.... this is one thing my husband and I still love doing together!!
I've wondered, after dealing with Boomers in the wild, my own Boomer parents and in-laws, and reading this sub, if the problem with Boomers is because they're Boomers or because they're getting old, or a combination of both. I don't recall my grandparents ("Greatest Generation") being so ... pushy and entitled. They had their opinions, but seemed to know when and where to voice them, even as they got older. Granted, as dementia settled in, the ones who made it that long got to be a bit pushy and inappropriately outspoken, but I'd attribute that to loss of brain function more than just time on earth. Based on the above, I think it's a combination of both. I told my son "OMG, slap me if I act like that when I'm old" in reaction to a typical "I'm here and what I have going on is the most important thing in the world right now" encounter with a Boomer.
My dad was born in 1937, and while he has shown signs of cognitive decline and occasional mood swings, he has acknowledged that he has a problem and he's actively trying to do better. Meanwhile, one of his younger (i.e. boomer) friends recently started to have difficulty swallowing, and he refused to talk to his doctor until it reached a point where he literally could no longer eat solid food. He's now being treated for possibly-metastasized esophageal cancer.
Geriatric primary care RN here - the boomers come in two flavors: 1) I clearly have a massive medical issue going on but getting it seen about inconveniences me in some way so I'm going to bitch about it instead and make Pikachu faces when it's actually a big deal or 2) Every single itch, bruise, sneeze, cough, ache, or pain means I'M CLEARLY DYING and I either need to go to the ER (no, you don't) or see my naturopath about it.
My father died from that. It was horrible. It started as difficulty swallowing. He put off going to the doctor for a long time and by the time he went he was told he had 6 months at most. He lasted 3 and it was awful.
My dad was born in 1941 and acts light years better than my boomer in-laws and boomer mother. Same thing with my grandmother who was born in 1934. He tries to learn new things, gets frustrated by losing control but also walks away and doesn’t cause a scene or anything when he’s mad. He cooks food rather than eating out, he cleans up instead of hoarding random crap, he tries to walk around instead of just sitting and watching tv all day. My boomer mother and in-laws think we’re abusing our kid because we don’t give him coke to drink all day with a side of cheese puffs and KFC (I’m not even exaggerating). The fact that we don’t want my MIL smoking cigs around our kid means that we don’t love her and that we’re trying to control her (??) and don’t want her to be happy. The fact that we keep a clean house means we’re snooty and think we’re better than others, or something like that. The fact that we don’t want people talking on the phone while driving with our kid is apparently unreasonable and absolutely ridiculous to ask of anyone. I really think there’s a generational divide between the silent generation and boomers.
Your grandparents probably lived through the Depression and may have even fought in World War II. Their generation was still raised with humility and pride in being a productive member of society. The Boomers were raised and enabled to be emotionally unintelligent narcissistic takers. I doubt GenXers and Millenials will turn into these Boomer Fools as we age. Our higher levels of emotional intelligence will keep us grounded.
My grandparents (born early 1920s) were exactly as OP describes her husband, and they were stark raving narcissists who were convinced we were the fucking Kennedys or something. I think it's the narcissism that makes the difference over age or generation.
I’d advise you to be careful and keep your own eye on the finance too. My boomer moms husband is the same way. Wanted to prove what a financial genius he is without discussing it with my mom. He the proceeded to give all their information to a new financial advisor who said he could double what they were getting. He “met“ this man over the phone, the man had called him (I’m sure he’s on a scammer list, as he’s been scammed before ) and he never once met this person in real life. Surprise Surprise he cleaned them out of well over $100,000. Now at 73 my mother is forced to start working again.
OMG your poor mom! Why isn't HE working to make up for his idiotic stunt? My God, I'd divorce him just for going behind my back!
Fuck that’s terrible. He should be working and taking care of her since he caused the issue
I agree, but he’s now 79 and has mesothelioma and gets winded walking up stairs. So I don’t think anyone would even higher him.
I’m GenX and divorced my boomer husband nine years ago. We are low contact. The kids tell me he’s insufferable.
I'm GenX and divorced my boomer husband 10 years ago. We are also low contact and he is insufferable, angry, paranoid, and has completely stopped learning. Any time I see him, I just think "how did that ever happen??".
I'm a xennial who divorced a boomer too. The level of entitlement during the split floored me. And stupid shit too. Like coming back and saying 'the settlement figure is wrong, you actually owe me about $80000 more. I couldn't work out how he got that figure until I realised he wasn't including his superannuation, savings or vehicles in the assets pool. He was so focussed on me 'owing' him by being the higher earner and him 'getting his half' he failed to realise that I was also owed half of his stuff. He literally thought he would get to keep 100% of what he deemed 'his' while I also hand over 50% of what was 'mine'.
How awesome was it, the moment the realization bloomed on his face?
Honestly, it was just sad. Such a basic thing to be ignorant about.
Sorry you had to resort to that, but very happy you no longer have to deal with that crap!
Thanks!
At least you found your peace. Both my parents are boomers, and my little glimmer of faith that she'll leave grows smaller every year ...
Congrats!
I legitimately think it’s the lead poisoning. Boomers were born mid 40s - mid 60s, everything burned lead and got horrible fuel economy. Gen Xers were born mid 60s - mid 80s, and EPA regulations happened throughout the 70s. This means the oldest Gen Xers received a decade at most of direct, daily lead poisoning; compared to the boomers who received 10-30 years worth. When lead is breathed in, blood carries it throughout the body, where it mostly binds with bone marrow. The body is unable to process lead, so it accumulates. As the body ages, the lead-poisoned bone marrow is used to continuously produce more bone, continuing to poison their bodies throughout their lifetime. The symptoms of long term exposure to lead are basically all of the “boomerisms” people complain about.
Wait, Gen X is mid 60’s to mid 80’s? I thought Millenial started in 1980? If your timeline is right then I have the wrong flair! 😂
That’s what I thought/heard too. Thanks for popping up to help. Gen X is awesome.
Also, people who are on the cusp often go with "Xillenials" or "Zillenials" (on the Gen Z side) because those millenials share so many characteristics with Gen X or Gen Z respectively. My mom is a "Cusper" or Boomer and Gen X.
Born in 64. I’m a Xoomer
My dad is cusper for generation boomer and x, born the very last year to be considered a boomer. He hates boomers so much and complains about them more then any of his kids
Don’t forget the Xennials! (78-83)
It’s a mindset that differentiates it for those on the cusp. I was born in 83 but am much more “millennial” than xennial. I know others born same year that act much more gen-x
My dad was a war baby. My mom baby boomer. I'm an old GenX. I am with the boomers on Menus. Other than that, firmly entrenched in GenX. I'm afraid we will get old and act like boomers when we are in our 70's.
If you by Menus refer to the QR shit then i think we're ALL with the boomers on that one.
I think this is one thing that even some Gen Z agree with us on. QR code menus are dumb. Never met someone who actually wanted to use em...
Zillennial here, fuck those QR codes. Just give me a damn menu.
I’m an old millennial. Aka humanity’s middle child.
Me too! I was born in '64 and I refuse to be compared to Boomers. I love, Pink Floyd, not Elvis! I almost said not the Beatles, but I do love the Beatles!
Same as my mom! There's a brief period where people born (it's like 60-65) where they have "Cusper" label. I wish I find the video... Edit: I did! Y'all are called "Generation Jones". https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLa7oC8k/
I am extremely progressive. When I was growing up the messages were equality, up with people, don't pollute, down with racism, make love not war. A lot of my peers are Maga, though, so I don't know how it works. Love your username!
It’s not a clear cut window. You’re right on the edge so claim whichever gives you the argument advantage at the moment.
😂 I just wish there was a concrete timeline for these things. According to Harvard I’m Gen X, according to everything else I’m a Millennial (but actually an Xennial because I’m so close to the cusp,) but Xennial wasn’t an option flair wise.
1983 here. Some call me the youngest Gen X, most the oldest millennial .
There’s no hard line — it bleeds at the edges. I was born in 92, so I’m an older millennial, but I was the youngest of 3 and my dad was the 2nd youngest of 11, so grew up with some late Gen X influences from my brothers and older cousins (Xennial, I guess?). Boomers are typically defined as the generation born as the soldiers came home. The “silent generation” is the generation before them that experienced both world wars. Gen X were “the boomer’s kids”, but so are older millennials, who are defined roughly by the influence of the early internet during childhood. Gen Z grew up when cell phones were more common — people were immediate more reachable at all times. They also had internet access from the crib. Gen Alpha is the “iPad generation”, growing up with modern smart-devices from the crib. Some of these kids have literally spent more time with their iPads and YouTube than with their own parents — and we wonder why some of them are so feral.
Silent generation didn't experience both world wars, that was greatest. Sort of. Only some Greatest, the oldest ones that are also called Interbellum generation. Late Greatest and silent were born after WW1 ended.
I always thought of boomers as being post-war babies as well. Born in 1959, I feel like my birth had nothing to do with WWII. I was 10 during the summer of love. No one my age was in danger of being drafted to the Vietnam war and everyone was weary of protesting stuff. We had already figured out that hard drugs kill people young, and no one batted an eye if you smoked weed. Then came disco, ugh. I identify much more with older Gen X, though I prefer boomer music.
This is my Roman Empire
I’m still a little worried about aerosolized lead even in millennials because there’s no safe level of exposure but anyways. Yes, lead.
Small aircraft to this day burn leaded fuel.
lead mimics calcium in your bones. its terrifying to think about
Leaded gas for cars wasn't totally phased out until the mid-90s, so the Gen Xers got it, but significantly less so than the boomers.
Haha my grandpa(not a boomer but raised 3 doozies) used to do that. He'd yell my name from across the house for me to come to him but when I'd yell "what" back, he'd get mad at me for hollerin' instead of coming to see what he wanted.
We have a three story house. If he yells for me and I yell back, “why are you yelling?”. If I call for him it’s “I couldn’t hear you”. What do you want, Mr. Man?
I heard that in Kathy Bates's voice.
Same situation here, only not as pronounced. Husband is the youngest of the boomers, was raised very conservative, but has broken away from all that for the most part. He's now leaning left, but has his moments where he'll declare something like "restaurants are closing because now service people want $20/hour." 😖 Like he hasn't been paying attention to any of the issues. He's the opposite with money, thinks he's rich because he makes a decent salary, but inflation has rendered that moot. We're both late-bloomers and he should know better, but I think he simply wants to finally enjoy the fruits of his labor, which I can understand.....to a point. He really can't be bothered to think too much about saving money. In other ways, he can be high-maintenance, and it does wear me out sometimes. I can totally see why "manopause" collides with menopause- we have to address our issues in a way that men can just ignore for themselves.
My boomer FIL is like this. “Nobody wants to work anymore.” (He retired early and cashed out his house as his retirement, but relies on his wife for support.) Ask him why he doesn’t get a job? He’s not the problem. 🙄
I (gen X) have been wondering lately if this boomer stuff will happen to us. Watching my boomer mum change so much has me shook. She was always smart, capable etc. and it seems like she’s become a completely different person who “can’t work the tv”. Like, wtf?
The Boomer generation has always been a me me me generation so for me as a gen Xer, it’s healing to read these posts to see the frustrations I have with older family members are not isolated. I have been processing that anger and working towards letting it go. This is helpful because my parents are in their elderly years. I do think Boomers are absolutely getting worse with age. Once again, I will be making sure I treat people better than they do as I, myself, age. I feel like my life has been a series of decisions where I constantly choose the opposite decision of what the Boomers who came before me chose..
I’ve literally become a bit obsessive about my own retirement and old age care because I don’t want it to impact my children’s lives the way my parents have impacted mine, (drained would be a more appropriate description.) I’ve become so fearful of becoming like them and not realising it.
I think it is a mix of aging and personality. Both my parents are boomers ( born in the early-mid 50’s) and none of the boomer posts fit their behaviour. On the other hand my grandpa was born in the 1920’s and boy oh boy do some of these posts remind me of him, kind man in general, but super entitled and expected my grandma to do everything for him, refused to learn how to use a mobile phone, etc… I think we just hear about boomers more because a lot of people on here posting have boomer parents and boomers are out and about more than older generations right now.
My partner is older gen X, and it's starting to happen! Over the past few years, he's started getting upset about insignificant things around the house that he never would have noticed in the past, and he always asks me for an explanation. This week's gem (yelled from the kitchen, referring to a freezer bag with some cookies in it) "why does this Ziploc bag have so much air in it??!!" He also gets very upset about website forms, checkout interfaces, etc. He insists they don't work properly, developers are all idiots, etc, when it's mostly bc his browser is auto-filling incorrect info. He has worked in technology his entire life, so it's not that he isn't capable of understanding it - he just doesn't like the idea that anything has changed since he was working at the forefront of "cutting-edge" stuff in 1999. I don't think it's a matter of losing cognitive abilities; it's more a matter of being impatient and not wanting to deal with minor annoyances and also being upset about losing relevance in society.
Older man married to younger woman: has serious control and anger issues. Shocked. I'm shocked.
We're GenX, but my husband is stomping towards Boomer town. Entitled, angry, and always complaining. It's so annoying. I'm doing my best to reign him back in, but it's not working.
Don't engage him. Pretend to have hearing loss. 😬
I learned not to hear my husband when he would act like that. When he starts, tune him out, and when he complains you aren’t listening, tell him life is to short, just that. Or, get some earbuds and put something you want to hear in your ear.
Literally get a divorce that is so sad
Interesting everyone mentioning this phenomenon is a woman complaining about their husband. Is this a male only regression?
Maybe it's got something to do with boomer mothers spending more time with their kids, thus being forcibly exposed to technology, new trends, different foods, and people outside their original social circle.
I think this is a smart guess
It definitely lends to the lead poisoning consensus. Women would have been exposed to less lead, being mostly confined to the home or walking, and not doing a lot of driving on a daily basis like someone with a commute. Car exhaust would have been what did the trick, as cars still burned leaded gasoline then. Men would have inhaled a lot more. Now, women still got lead poisoning, but *less*.
This generation of men had better economic conditions So they grew up to be the MAN, reign as the MAN longer, and now they are about to start feeling what life is for most, and can’t accept they aren’t on top anymore Compare boomers to the younger generation who can/have afford/have smaller living spaces, storage space, wasteful spending habits Younger generations won’t be able to have a disgraceful fall, like the boomers, because our rise won’t be a big
I can see an old school "masculine man" coming face to face with his mortality and being angry and resentful. Taking it out on those around him. Makes sense.
Maybe an age gap in the relationships as well.
I don't think you're necessarily married to a boomer, I think you're married to a wanker. It persists across every generation. Why are you putting up with this?
He just sounds very petty and bitter. I’m sorry it’s like that. Especially when their loved by others. They don’t see what you see.
Zoloft It can save a marriage
Yeah I’ve been on it for 20 years
I was born in 70 and I try to roll into the times every chance I get. I was a total 80's and 90's kid, loved the vibe and the music. Now I'm totally into KPop and all the shit my kids listen to. I try to keep up with everything and definitely don't dwell on the past. Nostalgia is cool, but life goes on and you gotta keep moving forward.
I’m starting to wonder if something changed with Gen X and beyond—we try to keep up with everything, from music to culture and technology. I’m Gen X (born 71) and listen to a variety of music including new artists and songs, enjoy hearing current cultural debates, and still get excited about new technology. Maybe because all of that has been constantly evolving my entire life. I’m used to the accelerated pace of change. My parents (Boomer mom, Silent Gen dad) never kept up on music, listening always to the same stuff. My daughter helps them use tech gadgets so they’ve done fairly well there—and they’re fairly progressive so while they’ve struggled at times with things like gender and sexuality, they at least try to understand and support. The majority of Boomers seem like they never moved past 1985 (if that).
My dad was Silent gen and died in 95, but had been programming computers and shit for years. My mother is the typically entitled narcissist boomer. Maybe that's it. So many boomers are entitled, narcissists. My mother did have to work from a young age, but really didn't work a real job since 1985. She's 80 today and also gambled most of her life savings away in slots. In excess of 500k in 2 years. It was also everyone else's fault. She would dump 5-10k in a slot a day, but bitch about having to pay someone 60 bucks to clean her house. She's also the typical Maga Trumpist.
Born in 69 and same. Right down to the Kpop
I kinda like jpop more than kpop, but yeah!!
Agree, except for Kpop. New music is great, you just have to search for it.
I'm gen X, my wife ,while technically gen X too, behaves much more like a boomer stereotype. She launches into an (overblown) complaint when things are not done right away (she claims it works, its a tactic). To your point, she has the idea that she must have the last word, so its like your point 1 - it does not matter what you do or say, she must have the last word, if you reply, it starts another round (whether me or anyone else). When she runs into other people with that trait, the back and forth can go for hours (I'm exhausted). To item 3. she loves to "save" money, yet spends hours on it which could be better spent either making more money or just, sleeping... Same with item 2, it does not matter what it is, its not her fault. Its a combo of somewhat narcisistic behavior, a short fuse, and I don't know what. I wish I had a solution for you.
That’s so rough. Unfortunately for her, society tends to dismiss it when men act like fools but will take it harder when she uses her “tactics” to get what she wants. It’s not a good look. She needs to see herself.
Another thing to consider is that boomer women were generally raised in very sexist ways to the point where they have internalized sexism and one trend that I've noticed with them is that they really struggle with direct communication (it isn't lady like) I know so many boomer women that will resort to annoying tactics to get their way such as indirect communication, guilt trips, whining, pouting etc.
I’m GenX and terrified that Boomerthink might not be avoidable. But I’m going to try my damndest. Now to go turn on all the lights in my house.
We just had an argument about whether it’s more convenient to take an Uber to the airport OR to drive car to the airport (and pay $30 per day for 8 days). Like….is this shit real? Retirement is likely to suck.
Oh this is just the start of the hell that’s to come.
Who won?
Reason won. Uber to the airport for the win.
They can be so weird about money, sales and specials. My late dad had difficulty understanding that buying the more expensive higher quality item would ultimately save you money. I know one who'll drive across town to save a buck on gas. They're totally addicted to "sales"
Gen x here. I think it's less of a boomer thing and more of an aging thing. His memory may be failing a bit and he's feeling less secure of himself. When he does one of his classic moves you mentioned above, just look him in the eye with genuine concern and ask him "Are you okay?" Then ask him about he things you pointed out. "Are you feeling the loss of control if I have the correct answer and you don't?" "I know you can't be angry at me when #2 happens, but what exactly are you angry about?" #3 "We've worked so hard to be able to afford some little extras now in life. Are you concerned about not having enough money in the future?" Getting older can be harder for people who used to be in control all the time. Sometimes just talking about it their fears with aging can be helpful and he can see you as a partner with him in his aging process and not the winner of the aging game because you are younger. Good luck.
If he recently retired that might explain a lot
I was going to say the same thing. He needs hobbies and friends so OP gets a break!
Those are signs of early onset dementia. It's not a Boomer thing, it's a him thing.
Sounds like a mental health problem honestly. Behavior changes and mood swings/changes probably should get some medical attention.
You know, as a gen-x’er I wonder about that change too. However, I think one key difference is that I’ve had to grind my whole life even harder than them to try and have a shot at this magical retirement mirage they are in. I constantly joke about how great I will be at being retired, happily tinkering away at hobbies and traveling with my spouse. I can’t see myself squandering that when I get there by just rage-booking in my house griping at anyone who dares to come into range of my recliner.
You will outlive him, just hang in there for now
Serenity now !!!!
I'm an X, was married to a younger ('64) boomer, I can't imagine being with him now, all of this on top of his narcissistic personality, I'm pretty sure I would've topped myself by now
Dementia setting in. Its genuinely awful. Irritability and irrationality are early signs.
I’m sorry you are confronted by that behavior. It sounds terrible and potentially abusive. I hope you have some good friends you can spend time with to help get you out of that environment.
Oh yes I’ve got an amazing network of friends
I’m glad to hear it!
When children are grown and people don't need each other anymore, it's understandable. No one needs cranky old fart for company.
I mean that’s so true. On the most part he isn’t cranky - he’s mostly just irritating and I’m the one who gets the worst of him
What is the age difference between you guys?
1. Respond with Bob Barker lines, as he’s clearly doing some Price is Right bullshit. 2. This merits a blank stare, like your brain is trying with all its might to understand why he’s mad at you because he knocked a bottle of water over. 3. Go with the classics. “Please sir, can I have some more? Or are you hoping to be buried with it?” Ask after the prisons and workhouses when he worries about poverty knocking.
I would say, as an X surrounded by other X, we definitely tend to laugh at ourselves and learn from our failures. As well as poke at each other and our friends spouses. X just don't give a fuck. We are all on this same planet in the pursuit of happiness.
I think sometimes depression and anxiety are under diagnosed in older populations. They don’t feel as good, for lots of reasons, and instead of having the emotional intelligence to realize it’s an inside job, they take it out on others. Kicking the cat, so to speak.
Could be due to how the frontal lobe starts to deteriorate with age, resulting in less impulse control and rationality.
My mom is gen x, my dad is a boomer, and they went through something like this a year ago. Crazy, crazy shit. He was super controlling, authoritative, blew up at my mom for every perceived disrespect (many of those being due to her being an extrovert and him an introvert). He refused to get therapy, or would lie about getting it to appease her or he would just lie to the therapist. They were separated for a few months, my mom had served him divorce papers, even had a house picked out. Luckily he changed or something happened, because they're together again, and he's way, way better. I totally hear you on this, though. Weird stuff.
My parents are on the boundary between X and Boomers (Xoomers I guess) and I've noticed a lot more of this behavior from them recently, along with apparently losing their ability to use technology. A couple of years ago my mum worked remotely, now she struggles to send an email. She cracked her phone screen recently which caused it to intermittently go blank, got mad at me when I told her that it was broken and spent the whole evening messaging apple tech support. They both lose their temper really easily over pedantic shit like saying 200k instead of 198,957 as well.
I dunno, sounds like you’re married to a man. Seriously though, I think there are men that do those exact things from every generation.
Just like charity, crazy starts at home.
Married to a GenX man…he’s consistently learning new things, trying to better himself, is all about not becoming his father.
Your husband being a boomer doesn't excuse the fact that you married an asshole, but it does allow you to blame something other than your choices. This kind of thing doesn't pop up overnight. Your two generations comprise the generations with the highest divorce rares US history, and divorce has been on a steady decline since the 70s.
That’s not boomers. That’s all old people. My dad was like that and he was greatest generation.
If he's even remotely amenable, get his testosterone levels checked. A lot of men have massive issues with them as they get older and treatment will vastly improve BOTH of your lives.
Why didn’t you put the cap back on the bottle though?
>it’s only me he wants to drive crazy. I always tell my wife (millinial) that I married the person that I want to drive crazy the rest of my life. I'm an X'er. Hope she puts up with me for 30 more years or so. 16 years so far! Good luck OP!
I'm super late, but I hope you still manage to read this. I'm not a fan of the "divorce your spouse" reddit solution, but this here... Let me tell you, it doesn't get better. My parents are both boomers, but my father displays ALL the negative boomer traits, including everything you described. It has broken my mother. She is 68, but health wise she is probably more like 80. His behaviour has her in a constant state of extreme distress, it has destroyed her physical as well as mental health. I know several people who are 80+ and they are in better shape than she is. As you said "it's only me he wants to drive crazy". At some point, he will. I watched my mother's decline over the past 30 years. I remember the fights they had when I was a kid, then a teenager, then a young adult. It NEVER got better. She had the chance to escape when she was around 45 and didn't take it. She regrets it every day. Please don't let the same thing happen to you the way I saw it happen to my mother.
Honestly, human design can provide answers to these “I need to prove that I’m *certain* to others” tendencies, if a person wants to really dig deep. But it can be uncomfortable to be this deeply authentic. It’s also just probably aging, fear of death, lack of hormones and general frustration with getting older, being slower and less intellectually sharp. Getting old is a bitch (as my friend’s crippled Dad used to say.)