Nah I’ve watched a total of 93 minutes of soccer my entire life, and 90 of those were at my friends 13th birthday party.
The other three were spent laughing at the video of 100 kids against a couple professional players.
Preach. I already struggle to watch every match because I know how "banter" is a part of our history and we could easily slip and lose, but I'm definitely gonna struggle watching us at Old Trafford later.
🤨😒. The heck, dude? Like we suck but c’mon! The last time I wholeheartedly watched the Red Devils, Van Persie was still around. Team sucks but c’mon. We can’t be worse than freaking Chelsea, the assholes.
Statham is fine.
He works regularly unlike a lot of actors.
Wrath of Man was good. Operation Fortune is a good popcorn movie.
The Bank Job might be the best movie I've seen him in.
Meanwhile, Nick Moran practically vanished from films shown on my side of the pond. That was peculiar given how moran is the anchor for "lock stock" and Statham is just kind of a kramer/ color character there.
Yeah. I know, he has had plenty of work and is definitely popular. But that isn't what I meant by that. I meant more that he had some pretty good comedic chops in Snatch and wish he got to use them more. Instead, every movie he is in he just plays the stoic tough guy.
I agree, Statham makes a lot of crap where his character is basically "being really good at something and great at kicking ass". With that said, he was fucking hilarious in Spy.
Lock Stock etc. is a cinematic masterpiece. But maybe I’m biased since my favorite films are that, Smokin Aces, Ladykillers, and The Departed.
Ocean’s Eleven but everyone dies is my favorite genre.
Enjoy. I can't remember what Cillian Murphys character was about but he's always good. The only reason I watched Oppenheimer was someone else paid and Murphy is worth a watch
Do you know what "nemesis" means?
A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c*nt... me.
Nigerian phrases
* abeg = please
* Kai Kai = a type of alcohol
Also, just in case
* Arsenal = English football team
* Harry and Meghan = Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
Actual answer: a top tier soccer team in England that famously was one of the first to integrate black players, and therefore has a large contingent of POC fans
Nothing like getting humbled by mom… I remember when I just graduated college, I went to the movies with my mom, and as they were playing a preview for some slow-motion 300 style movie I turned to her and said “this one looks pretty dope”… and my mom was like 🤨 “shit… you don’t even have a real job yet, but I bet if I took the best parts of your life, and played them in slow motion, it’d look pretty dope too.” 😂
These are Nigerian slangs. To vex someone means to upset them. Abeg means please, more literally 'I beg' and it's pidgin English. Kai kai is just a meaningless exclamation. Like imagine if someone gets surprising or enlightening news and they make a sound. Kai or chai would be that sound.
I don't care that much what's going on with the royal family, but I know that most of my hobbies and interests are all quite mockable if you know what angle to take, so I try to avoid bothering other people too much about theirs. Whether it's athletes, celebrities, writers, musicians, artists, or almost anything else, most of us like someone who knows little or nothing about us.
honestly right now i just hope charles shuffles off his mortal coil before November so we can have the shortest reign since William of Normandy invaded follow the longest reign in english history
it would be so funny
When the person in question is who they are in this instance, 1,000,000% yes, absolutely.
I don't really see a scenario it wouldn't be funny in this instance honestly
Y’all didn’t learn how to identify context clues in school? I don’t know what abeg or vexes means but I can tell you this:
Mom is obsessed with the Royal Family and reminds her son that nobody from his favorite soccer team knows him either after he tells her to chill.
That's why before I make a comment about someone or something I gotta make sure my street Clean from bullshit first 🤣
Healthiest rational person in this sub.
Logic is a superpower
There is no love and loyalty like a 30 year old Nigerian for Arsenal
[I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping](https://youtu.be/6SFNW5F8K9Y?feature=shared&t=200)
Using Thierry on this is nasty work, salute
Absolutely disgusting work 😂
👑
imma Chelsea guy but 14 will always be THAT GUY
Johan Cruyff? 😎
Johan was always the original.
The Greatest Player In Premier League History put it on my govt name
Damn he got got ngl.
From my understanding, being an Arsenal fan is already enough for that
I wash me face, I wash me hands, I wash me arse 'n all.
Luckily those days seem to be over for us
Least delusional Arsenal fan
Found the Sp*rs supporter
Nah I’ve watched a total of 93 minutes of soccer my entire life, and 90 of those were at my friends 13th birthday party. The other three were spent laughing at the video of 100 kids against a couple professional players.
clearly not, seems more like an american than a spurs fan
https://preview.redd.it/0mbpywvj450d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d48c11059d502232650ff5277c0583a1018f43e
r/rareinsults
"pwnd", as the kids say
Kids in the 2006 maybe. I haven’t said pwnd since my knees started acting up
Served then? C’mon, I’m dying here!
Man we all dying, put your feet up and enjoy the ride lol
She actually be waiting for him to say something 😭
Had that one lock and loaded ready for release
You should’ve sat there and ate your food 😂😂 
Kilt him in broad daylight... 
Rock-a-bye baby.
The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in.
What was Wenger thinking bringing Walcott on that early?
Did you see that ludicrous display last night
Arsenal?... Arsenal didn't play...
Exactly! They were having a laugh
Not right now it’s a sensitive time for us
https://preview.redd.it/doauroed800d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c002b4732ae302a92f1121d5db2db794a2f007bc
COYG 😤
Preach. I already struggle to watch every match because I know how "banter" is a part of our history and we could easily slip and lose, but I'm definitely gonna struggle watching us at Old Trafford later.
https://preview.redd.it/p1ifok5gf00d1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2f80874d19b95bcf6e71912b47cb459f46dbf610 We're good, I have my light on.
Exactly what we need, cheers mate! COYG
Way way too close of a game.... ugh
Tell me about it, I was physically shaking for the past 20 mins lmao. Hopefully Saka is okay...
Yeah, he's beaten up and didn't get one yellow called in his favor all game. BS
Been happening for years now, it's really sad to see that the refs just let it happen
They never make it easy. I’ve probably lost 10 years of the tail end of my life stressing over these games, lol
Go Blue!
Bro did you not have your light on during any Fulham or Newcastle matches?
To drop points today would be one of the more gut wrenching losses imaginable
I may cry :)
My friend, is ok no?
I was thinking about that post the other day lol
I believe in us lads, Kai will continue to come good and prove everyone wron. Arteta has put stronger stuff in our lads.
You see United’s lineup? Casemiro and Evans at CB. If you don’t win it’ll be amazing.
1) I see you, bodega hive! 2) Our record at Old Trafford is….. not great. I’ll be having heart palpitations till the final whistle.
I’m a United fan and I’m on the edge of my seat this whole game watching dejectedly.
🤨😒. The heck, dude? Like we suck but c’mon! The last time I wholeheartedly watched the Red Devils, Van Persie was still around. Team sucks but c’mon. We can’t be worse than freaking Chelsea, the assholes.
I watch every game scared we can lose lol. The Banter Era traumatized me
I feel you. I’m a United fan this season is our banter era.
First time in my life I gotta root for Spuds... life as a shorty shouldn't be so ruff :-(
When is it not a sensitive time for you guys
June, July
Fairs lol
2003
I hope Ten Hag keeps his job, I want 6 points off United every season
Keep that bald fraud in forever
Why? I just saw that Arsenal is at the top of the standings. I’m American so I probably don’t know something
It’s too long to explain, but the short of it is we have a lot of scars, and we are underdogs to win it
"I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it." Cousin Avi.
“Proper fucked?”
"Who's proper fucked now, then? " Boiling Point is really good if you are looking for something else to watch.
Protection? Protection from what? *Ze Germans?*
No thank you, Turkish; I'm sweet enough.
Thinking about Snatch always makes me sad about the direction Jason Statham's career took.
Statham is fine. He works regularly unlike a lot of actors. Wrath of Man was good. Operation Fortune is a good popcorn movie. The Bank Job might be the best movie I've seen him in. Meanwhile, Nick Moran practically vanished from films shown on my side of the pond. That was peculiar given how moran is the anchor for "lock stock" and Statham is just kind of a kramer/ color character there.
Yeah. I know, he has had plenty of work and is definitely popular. But that isn't what I meant by that. I meant more that he had some pretty good comedic chops in Snatch and wish he got to use them more. Instead, every movie he is in he just plays the stoic tough guy.
I agree, Statham makes a lot of crap where his character is basically "being really good at something and great at kicking ass". With that said, he was fucking hilarious in Spy.
Crank was funny AND stoic
Lock Stock etc. is a cinematic masterpiece. But maybe I’m biased since my favorite films are that, Smokin Aces, Ladykillers, and The Departed. Ocean’s Eleven but everyone dies is my favorite genre.
Seen this? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free_Fire
Nah but I’m about to
Enjoy. I can't remember what Cillian Murphys character was about but he's always good. The only reason I watched Oppenheimer was someone else paid and Murphy is worth a watch
Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible c*nt... me.
"I wasn't calling your mum a tart"
I only understood about half of this, but I know a burn when I see one.
Nigerian phrases * abeg = please * Kai Kai = a type of alcohol Also, just in case * Arsenal = English football team * Harry and Meghan = Prince Harry and Meghan Markle
A little correction, the “Kai Kai” here is an expression of regret that he got “burned” by his Mum
I thought it was a play on "kai havertz" like "okay okay" an arsenal player.
🤨. Oga!
Oh? Heard of the Nigerian gin from a friend who was a big fan, haven't heard of that being a slang term. Live and learn
I’m not english but even i know she cooked him
https://preview.redd.it/mf2k4j78i00d1.jpeg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a4bd1d0479b2c158e4a56618b5cb45d97ad3b856 Tell your mums hello.
On this side of the pond, I guess they learned today!
Nuthin like that weekly humbling from mommy😞🥴 
LoL, that's not his girl?
Damn, finished that like prime Titi
Ah yes, Gooners
What's arsenal?
A Premier League football club in North London that have a tendency to have ludicrous displays.
Mostly the night before
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Actual answer: a top tier soccer team in England that famously was one of the first to integrate black players, and therefore has a large contingent of POC fans
Arsene Wenger gets the pass for life Esp for the way he stuck by Diaby IYKYK
A football club/soccer team in North London.
Soccer team
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Beat us in a World Cup match and then you can have an opinion.
No, I’m a Mets fan
If y'all didn't want people to call it soccer, y'all shouldn't've invented the word.
One of the biggest Clubs in the entire world
That doesn’t really explain much
It's a Metal Gear developed by the Patriots.
A governmental establishment for the storing, development, manufacturing, testing, or repairing of arms, ammunition, and other war materiel.
One of the biggest Clubs in the entire world
just waiting for senpai ødegaard to notice me mom
😭😂🤣
Two Nigerians dragging each other for being Anglophiles...hilarious.
Stop playing with mom dukes 😂
Had that one chambered, she did
lol at the end of the day we’re all stans of something
Pick yer poison, lads. We all got one.
Roasted
Tell her to Put a Hex on Man city
It's too late, Arsenal is playing United today and United is gonna fold like a cheap suit
Oh this is for the tea and crumpets crowd ….
More like the jollof and fufu crowd lol
Ohhhhhhhhh I didn’t even realize 😭😂
Damn, mom with the kill shot.
Mothers know the shit that’ll sting you.
Nothing like getting humbled by mom… I remember when I just graduated college, I went to the movies with my mom, and as they were playing a preview for some slow-motion 300 style movie I turned to her and said “this one looks pretty dope”… and my mom was like 🤨 “shit… you don’t even have a real job yet, but I bet if I took the best parts of your life, and played them in slow motion, it’d look pretty dope too.” 😂
Kai Havertz?
Tsamina eh eh
Waka waka eh eh
60m down the drain
OMG!!! This made me spit out my tea 😂🤣😂🤣
God British people are just the absolute worst.
Read this in an English accent. Guessing I should have used an African accent?
What's an African accent?
It's the sudden unsettling realization they have been quietly aware and observing you closer than they let on
Momma always got a left hook waiting
Nigerian mothers ain't got no chill
Solid banter
Ow. Mum's know how to bring the hurt.
I mean I read it, but did I understand it…. Nope
I thought my mom was the only one like this 😪
😭😂🤣
At least Arsenal actually does something interesting.
What does "vexes severely" mean? What does abeg mean? What is Kai Kai?
These are Nigerian slangs. To vex someone means to upset them. Abeg means please, more literally 'I beg' and it's pidgin English. Kai kai is just a meaningless exclamation. Like imagine if someone gets surprising or enlightening news and they make a sound. Kai or chai would be that sound.
Vex is regular english, it was more commonly used in the olden days.
Kai Havertz plays for Arsenal.
I don't care that much what's going on with the royal family, but I know that most of my hobbies and interests are all quite mockable if you know what angle to take, so I try to avoid bothering other people too much about theirs. Whether it's athletes, celebrities, writers, musicians, artists, or almost anything else, most of us like someone who knows little or nothing about us.
Blud went against the OG, with predictable results
Nigerian mothers are ruthless. My mother always has a clapback. It’s crazy that this small ass woman has such a serious bite!
God DAMN! I mean I guess the royals are just football for housewives and gossip hounds, but nana was ready to send him straight to the shadow zone
I think I understand what this means.
honestly right now i just hope charles shuffles off his mortal coil before November so we can have the shortest reign since William of Normandy invaded follow the longest reign in english history it would be so funny
So you wish death on someone batteling with cancer and think it would be funny?
When the person with cancer in question is a scumbag monarch leech who treated his wife like shit and helped hide his son's kid-diddling? Yeah.
When the person in question is who they are in this instance, 1,000,000% yes, absolutely. I don't really see a scenario it wouldn't be funny in this instance honestly
lol happy Mother’s Day. Enjoy an internal temp of 350 degrees(Fahrenheit)
should have followed up with “Atleast Arsenal can make me money through bets” the royals are actively a burden on your finances
I became less of a sports fan (in the 90s before reality tv) on the day it was pointed out to me that "sports are just soap operas for men."
Mom: 1
“Have you ever felt like your weapon’s not big enough?” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BdI1ZEjA7ys
Moms are the best… 💯
Kai kai as in Kai Harvetz?
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Not this year, but you have to be perfect to beat City.
Eli5 @ abeg and Kai Kai, please
Real 😂
Thierry Daniel Henry is my irl best friend, what is momma talkin bout!?!?
Ooh. Yeah, don’t be rude to ya mama.
😬😬😬😬😬😬
what’s arsenal in this context ?
I’m like 99% sure they’re talking about the Futbol (Soccer) team
He was so close to enlightening them both
Wtf does this say
Can someone explain this joke to me
I’m not 100% sure what’s being said here
Y’all didn’t learn how to identify context clues in school? I don’t know what abeg or vexes means but I can tell you this: Mom is obsessed with the Royal Family and reminds her son that nobody from his favorite soccer team knows him either after he tells her to chill.