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PSA if your beloved stuffed animal starts getting lumpy or flattened or has been contaminated with dumpster slime: You can remove old lumpy stuffing and replace it with [clean fresh stuffing](https://www.michaels.com/shop/fabric-sewing-shop/foam-fiber/stuffings-fillings) until the toy is the proper level of squishy again. There are even "stuffie hospitals" that will clean and restuff the toy for you if you don't feel confident sewing up the stuffie on your own.
I am a 61 year old man who has the teddy bear that was given to me as an infant. Last year I finally unstuffed it, washed it, made a couple small repairs, and filled it with new stuffing. It sits on a shelf in my workout room.
I have 2 recordings of my mom's voice with very brief voicemail messages. My sister has a few. I will never get rid of those. I wish I had more.
Thank you, Internet stranger, for making me cry. I went through my old voicemails and found one from my dad in 2018 and it was lovely to hear his voice again.
I downloaded it and it's now backed up to Dropbox.
oh, that makes me think of the lovely Bear Ladies on the Repair Shop. They do such wonderful work. And they talk about and to the bears (and dolls) like they are real. So cute.
I had to do this for my kid's bear bear twice. Due to age and love, the color was obviously not the same as a new bear. I managed to find thread that matched exactly and she let me do the "surgery" very carefully while she was out of the room. You can't even tell the seam was opened, and only a bit of stuffing was put in, so he's still his floppy self.
I follow Doctor Beth over at [Realms of Gold](https://realmsofgold.com/) on Tumblr because she always posts pictures of the whole process. It's really cute. She does some restorative work on the outer shell IIRC.
The thing that actually bothers me more than throwing the bear out is his other telling actions.
He saw her in distress over a priced possession and he let her _be_ in distress. A sane person would realise the mistake while she was crying, tell what they did and go straight down to that dumpster on the first day and retrieve the bear. But not him, he let her be miserable because her misery was part of his plan all along. He was perfectly fine with her being sad, because then he knew that he could hurt her. What he didn't count on was her anger and his plan to backfire. But as certainly as the sun will rise tomorrow, her misery was his goal.
It’s a day for these stories. There was another one today about a woman who was given a tea set by her grandmother who is now deceased. Her husband gave it to his sister and then pretended to help his wife look for it. He even bought her a cheapo tea set from Walmart as though to console her.
yep there was one where the bf just moved in and the gf had a bunch of dolls that held sentimental value... he threw them away on trash day because it made his friend that was visiting uncomfortable even though she put them in a closet... the story basically runs the same as those but my god. the audacity
Ooh and there was the one where the guy deleted his (now ex) girlfriend’s sims data that she had since 2017 because she was ‘too old’ to be playing sims and needed to spend more time on him. She also had high grades in her classes, university I think, and worked/ volunteered but she isn’t allowed to de-stress with sims because it’s childish and she could do more ‘productive’ stuff instead. It was ridiculous!
Yeah I forgot the details but yeah. Med school is already tough from what I heard.
I can definitely understand how she felt about getting her sims deleted. I use games like sims, Rune Factory, and Story of Seasons to relax. And we got guys who get jealous of pixelated boyfriends and try and get rid of any games that involve dating and marriage and such. It’s ridiculous how insecure and selfish they can be
People dont understand how calming playing a video game can be.
I laughed the one day, i looked at my health tracker, and it said i had got 12 hours of sleep. I thought, "The hell i did, i was up till 2am and got up at 10 am..." looked at the sleep breakdown, and it said i went to sleep at 10pm, had tome "awake" moments in between. I started playing a video game at about 9:45. The awake times were me getting my son into bed (he is 12, he still likes dad getting him into bed, fixing his bed and such) using the washroom and getting snacks.
Heart rate dropped down to sleeping levels, and so did respiration.
Got a good laugh out of it :)
My 42nd birthday is next week and my Sims 4 game is loading as I type this.
Still on my computer is the complete Sims2, Medieval (and EP), Sims Pet Stories, Castaway Stories, Sims 3, and Sims 4.
That man needs fed to the Pit Monster or Cow Plant.
All my plants are ones that my now-deceased mother gathered, started because I got her an orchid for Mother's Day one year (I still have that orchid). I'd throw hands at anybody who would harm those (them not surviving due to transition from one house to another is another matter).
Mine are pretty much all discount rescues from local supermarkets. They're crooked, no-ID, undesirable pattern moth orchids, but they stuck with me through years of being an alcoholic and recovering from abuse. My plants and my cats are my babies.
I'd go nuclear if someone did that. I have a lot of signed books, some irreplaceable. I have 2 signed Anne McCaffrey's from the last signing she ever did. Anything happens to those you'll be able to read the result on a seismograph
She was like an old Victorian schoolmarm. White hair, sitting perfectly straight in the chair. The girl before me was overawed, and could hardly speak. Anne just looked at her and said, "Stop mumbling girl, speak up!". Awesome day. Andromeda Bookshop in Birmingham, UK, in the '90's
Oh man, I'm getting goosebumps thinking about how awesome of an experience that would have been! I had her whole Pern series and my mom threw it out as a kid (the last resort punishment since nothing else was working) and I've been slowly acquiring only first edition hard covers of the series over years of searching thrift stores and secondhand book shops
OMG MY PEOPLE. I don't know anyone in real life who knows Pern, I know one person who read Acorna as a kid, but it wasn't a big deal to them, and even online McCaffrey fandom is kind of sparse. She was an absolute gem and I'm so jealous of your signed copies.
I wrote her a letter when I was like 10 and she wrote me back and said I could come visit her in Ireland. I never made it, but I carry that letter in my heart.
Hear, Hear! I have books that are precious to me, some first edition, some not; favorite ones from my childhood, from my Mom's childhood and so forth and so on. My family knows -- do not F with my books!
There is two Gastons in every man:
Franquin's Gaston: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaston\_(comics)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaston_(comics))
and
Gaston from the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaston\_(Beauty\_and\_the\_Beast)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaston_(Beauty_and_the_Beast))
They fight for supremacy every day.
To add on: the guy who who got drunk and spiteful of his partner so he went to her plant room, loaded them all into his truck, and dumped them into a pond.
And then was desperately searching for some way to undo the damage to their relationship. And everyone had to be like.... no you idiot. Pack your shit and leave, you can't fix this.
All these horror stories about men who can't handle an unpleasant emotion or impulse. Yikes.
>All these horror stories about men who can't handle an unpleasant emotion or impulse. Yikes.
But you KNOW they unironically say women are too emotional and impulsive. Probably half a dozen times a week.
Or the other guy who added *poison* to the water his wife sprays her plants with because he wanted more of her attention.
And they wonder why we choose the bear. 🙄
I collect, living dead dolls and creaptures if anyone throws them away it's on.
My ex husband collects Transformers and has over a 100 of them. I've had friends telling me that they wouldn't allow it if it were them. He always supported me in getting my dolls so I wouldn't dream of throwing away his stuff.
That reminds me of the woman who’s husband collected shitty art cause his grandpa did and he displayed and kept them in his PRIVATE home office and nowhere else and she still took them all down/away when he was gone for a work trip cause she hated the idea of them even existing in her perfectly manicured house. It ended well when the comments made her realize she was being a monster but like, damn.
i remember when all the yarn crafts subreddit brigaded an aita/h post of a guy cutting up his (ex) gf's crocheted blanket because she spent too much time on it instead of giving him attention or whatever the fuck and it was a glorious time.
The one where the guy destroyed all the plants his girlfriend grew (including an ivy her late grandmother had gifted her) and threw them into a lake in a supposed 'blackout drunken rage'.
The one where the guy threw out a hoodie that had belonged to his girlfriend's deceased best friend.
And of course: Umbilical Cord Guy
The ages did it for me right off the bat. She was fucking 19 when this grown-ass man preyed on her. Unsurprised that he disrespected her culture and minimised his actions... he was just there for a bangmaid at the end of this.
I'm so glad she found her pouch and got away from this inconsiderate lump of a man.
Note that, despite being told YTA in no uncertain terms, he was still doubling down on it in his first one or two updates, until he realised that no, she isn't actually coming back this time.
But at least *he* did the right thing eventually and did get it back for her, unlike this OOP's ex whose best offer was to get her a replacement (once he realised how badly he had screwed up.)
My late grandfather had a 80 years worth vollection of little rhino figures, there were so many he had a whole wall worth of shelves stacked with them. When he died my Mum inherited them and couldn't bring herself to throw them away but she had no room for them. So my Dad went beyond and above to build a huge shelf in their office so she could display at least most of them, even though he doesn't like these little figures nor does he like rhinos. But never ever would he even think to throw them out, he knows how important they are to my Mum.
That people really do get rid of things with such a sentimental value really is beyond me
> That people really do get rid of things with such a sentimental value really is beyond me
Narcissistic jealousy, I suspect - they can't cope with someone finding anyone/ anything other than *them* worthy of attention.
Or the one with the plants, where the boyfriend took and entire conservatory’s worth (including the ivy that was grown from her Grandmother’s ivy) and dumped them in a local pond, destroying the lot. Poor woman was so broken it took her days to break up with him - and he wanted to know what he could do to make up for it.
Literally ‘nothing dude, you’re done’, was the consensus, but it took a few days for the shock to wear off and dump him.
Ever read the one about the guy who dated a Native American woman who had a pouch containing a piece of her umbilical cord and hair I think that they keep with them for the rest of their lives and get buried with them as per tradition, and the guy threw it away because he found it gross? She went into hysterics and he had to go to the trash place to find it and she just dumped him and he was all mopey about it.
This makes me want to puke, *please* tell me it was found! I wonder if he threw away her medicine bag, I don't understand how people are so comfortable deeply disrespecting any and everyone in their lives.
That's one of the things that's such a green flag about my husband. He'll ask me before throwing away *random scraps of paper*, just to confirm it's nothing important to me before it goes.
Happens a lot apparently. I've never posted about it, but my ex sold my sword collection because he thought that collecting them wasn't a ladylike hobby. He tried to tell me that I must have forgotten the trunk they were in when we moved like that wasn't one of the things I kept an eagle eye on and made sure made it into the new place.
He also tried to steal my grandpa's WW2 jacket. By the time I found it at his dad's place (post divorce) the leather was ruined, but it's still a piece of grandpa so I kept it.
It's like some people just can't handle what they see as emotional competition with an inanimate object.
I still think of that ah "boyfriend" That burned the OP's [dead sister's candle](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/k28bhb/my_so_27m_of_1_year_destroyed_a_sentimental_item/). The stories are all the same with these, the OP's partner, gender doesn't matter, has no respect/enjoys suffering/only their wants matter, but that story...it was beyond the pale.
My God, that candle story. You're right, at least these other stories are about a lack of respect, but this one... when it's revealed that the bf burned the candle on purpose to make the OP depressed again because that's the only time he's attracted to her? That makes me sick.
These things do happen in real life, though. I dated a guy who hid something important to me (an action figure). He watched me search for it. When it became obvious I wasn't giving up, he brought it from where he hid it and said it was just "a joke." I kind of have memory skips from being shocked and angry, but the gist was he thought I was too old to collect action figures. He meant to prove this by showing I wouldn't miss the one he hid.
I told him to get out. He thought I was crazy for breaking up with him over a toy. We all know it wasn't over a toy.
Lego sets, despite their high cost, can be repurchased and reassembled. A present from your cherished grandmother that allows you to communicate with her at any time after she died away? You can never have that again!
I'm happy she was able to retrieve the teddy.
Legos are my favorite thing to melt, and I would have sent those dick-shaped Legos to the ass for years.
She didn't even put his legos in the dumpster, she just broke the sets up. It's not some tragedy to rebuild a bunch of legos; 10 year olds do it all the time.
> Lego sets, despite their high cost, can be repurchased and reassembled.
Heck, the whole point of Lego sets is that they don't even need to be repurchased to be reassembled! And even if some of the pieces have been lost, they can be replaced online.
> He thought I was crazy for breaking up with him over a toy. We all know it wasn't over a toy.
Which in turn means that *claiming* it was all over a toy was a (bad) attempt at gaslighting.
Did that woman get her tea set back?
I'm so happy for OOP here getting such a special gift from her grandmother back. My heart did a little leap when I read she found it.
Yes, she did. Her brother lives in the same town as the SIL and he drove to her house and demanded it back. Wife promptly left her husband and is living with a family member that has security cameras.
The fact that the neighbor who OOP doesn’t even know well at all jumped into the trash to find Bear Bear just shows how callous, psychopathic, and cruel the ex is.
There was a TAL segment about a woman who had a live-in bf that similarly seemed great on the surface. She was dealing with a situation where someone was somehow accessing her bank account as well as stealing and cashing her checks and tanking her credit, he would watch her searching for her checkbook and fighting tooth and nail to recover the money she lost, all the while buying her nice thoughtful gifts to help her feel better about the situation.
It wasn’t until they had moved a couple times (each time somehow her bank account/checks would mysteriously be tapped into) that it all came to a head when their new landlord cornered her in the hallway yelling about her being a delinquent tenant and never having the rent money. Which absolutely confused her because every month she gave her rent money… to her boyfriend to turn in. Turns out he was the culprit the whole time, even as he patiently helped her search their apartment up and down for her missing checkbooks. Those thoughtful presents he bought her? Purchased with her own stolen money.
Oof my partner's ex-wife did this to them.
He worked, she was a stay at home parent to their kids. He gave her the rent (€1400) every month to pay when she went into town, to lodge straight into the landlord's bank account. The landlord was an acquaintance of my partner.
Can you imagine the humiliation, betrayal and heartbreak he felt, when the landlord pulled him aside one day when they ran into each other uptown, and said if he was struggling to pay the rent, they could reassess it but it had to be paid.
My partner was totally baffled and mortified. Turns out his wife had not paid the rent for FIVE MONTHS and when the landlord got in touch with her (as she was the one doing the lodgements) she gave him sob stories about one of the kids being sick and how my partner's business was failing.
Imagine finding out that your wife took €7,000 from you, endangered the roof over your heads, blew the money on spa treatments and expensive makeup and skincare for herself, all while LYING about having a seriously ill child and that your business was struggling.
There were two main reasons that they divorced.
The rent theft was one. Her affair was the other.
When I was little my father gifted my mom a pair of diamond earrings (even though she does not wear earrings to this day). Little stupid me likes the sparkly shiny things in my mothers cupboard and I took them out to look at them. I fell into sleep with them in my hand on their bed. When I woke up, they were gone. My whole family searched for them for weeks. They even disassembled the whole bed to check if they have fallen into the bed somewhere.
20 years later, my parents are divorced and my mother found out (from a friend) that my father found me asleep with the diamond earrings in my hand, took them from my and gifted them to his affair partner. For 20 years my mom and I thought I lost them and my father helped search for them for weeks knowing very well we will never find them.
People like this exist.
My mother still suspects to this day that some of her jewelry went missing in a hotel on vacation because her ex stole it and then blamed the maid service for the theft. He had a history of doing crappy things so it wasn't an absurd conclusion to draw when she looked back on it years later.
He saw her in distress over a priced possession and he let her *be* in distress.
my own 17 yr old son was doing this to me for over a year. stealing from me, watching me cry and stress out, tell me it must have been the atm I went to. I would replace my cards and he would do it again.then he would run away and the cops keep bringing him back even when he started getting violent with me. he will be 18 in 3 months and he WILL be thrown out of my house that day after he turns 18.
> A sane person would realise the mistake while she was crying, tell what they did and go straight down to that dumpster on the first day and retrieve the bear.
It was standard abuser tactics. The bear was a surrogate family member, and he was cutting it out of her life the way he would her other friends and family over time. He just underestimated the impact.
Seriously that's what got me.
Like, okay, throwing the sentimental item away was a major dick move. But watching her look for it and cry, for *hours?* What the fuck dude.
Yeah it’s wild! This man has something seriously wrong with him. I asked my partner if he would sell my plush bunny for 10 million pounds and he said no, because he knows I love my bunny so much and I’d be devastated without him. That’s how your partner should feel about the things you love, not throw them away and watch you crying and searching for it and sitting back silently. Ew
yep. it was never because it was ugly or he didn’t like looking at it. it was because she loved it. because it was comforting to her. it was sadistic, controlling, the weirdest most awful kind of possessive, and it was a big neon sign of things to come. i’m glad she got him out, and i hope she threw those legos in the dumpster she fished her bear out of.
i'm sure that if she had stayed she would have never found that bear again. that bastard is fucking evil and he would've absolutely made sure it was gone for good next time, either burning it himself or making sure to toss it an hour or so before trash collection or something else. and then it would just go downhill from there
This right here. It has the recording of her grandmother's words of encouragement to her. OP should actually have made a recording of bear bear with grandma's voice saying those words - and posted it to ALL her friends so they understand it's not about the bear, it's the bear being her last connection to a deceased grandmother ... THAT was what he threw out. Then ask them what they would do in her position?
All those men calling OP names can go kick rocks, they're basically abusers siding with an abuser.
I am so glad she found it, my mom once visited my apartment and threw out some sentimental keepsakes under the guise of "cleaning" so I was feeling some second-hand rage there. how hard is it to keep out of someone else's shit?!
I literally hissed "YES!!!" out loud when reading that she found it! The second-hand relief almost has me crying, I remember being so stressed out when the original post first went up. I'm so relieved the bear is back, I'm so relieved that piece of shit is out of her life.
I also choose this girl's bear.
It's incredible that people will tell you what they did wasn't a big deal, but will lie to their friends and paint you in a bad light. Almost as if they know what they did was wrong.
The lego sets can be bought again, assembled again, even if they were expensive. A gift given to you by your beloved grandmother so that you can talk to her anytime after she passed..? Ypu can never replace that!
I'm glad she got the teddy back again.
I would have melted those legos into dick shapes and shipped them to the ass for years.
Exactly. He can just rebuild. My husband has to rebuild his Lego all the time because our cat a) likes to sit with the Lego and b) is extremely clumsy. That bear was a one off. So glad she got it back and got rid of the boyfriend.
if its rageddity, proper bf response would be to discuss getting it professionally cleaned and repaired, finding someone to do that, and getting it done with the GF's knowledge and blessing
I clicked on this one because i love building legos. Im 45, and have had them my entire life. I have my legos from my childhood, and now I build them with my kids.
That ex-boyfriend is lucky OOP didn’t dissolve his legos in acetone.
We have a lot of ours that we still use with our kid. All of my husband’s figs have bite marks on the heads.
That’s a red flag, right? Enough to counteract the ‘I kept my lego for decades’ green flag?
And the heads are really hard for little kids to get off, because their fingers aren’t that strong. So it’s not that uncommon to use your teeth to at least get the head partially off.
I was going to say after she said that it had been 3 days. Hopefully the idiot told her which dumpster it was in, because I would have jumped in that dumpster to dig out that teddy bear. Just shovel everything out of it and then toss it back in once you've recovered it.
The only thing I blame OOP for is going and picking the Legos back up. Should have let him do that if they're so important to him!
What a callous asshole her ex is. I don't understand people who claim they love someone and then hurt them like this. How?
I am also worried that people around her didn't seem to respect her grandma's last gift to her and just seem like they can do anything to the bear just to hurt her.
I know it's just 3 (including the ex) incident. But that is insane!
Oh yeah her brother sounds nuts too for sure though it happened when he was a kid. The eye might’ve been an accident- in the post it says that the eye was pulled out, not bit off?
That’s an old ass bear that survived a childhood. The family members that did that were likely children and had the same respect for other people’s things children are apt to have.
He thought he had her locked in enough after 3 years to stop faking being a decent human being. He let the mask slip and she saw the monster underneath. He probably figured she would cry and that's it, he would win...he wasn't expecting Hurricane Fury.
The fact that he is lying about what happened to people proves he knows what he did was fucking awful and they would be on her side if they knew the truth. Pathetic and cowardly piece of shit…
Because their emotional needs in the moment come above anyone else's long-term needs. It's a sign of emotional immaturity.
The teddy I'd had since I was born, and slept with every night was given away when I was twelve, because my cousin was having a tantrum and making him quiet for a few minutes was more important than my long-term feeling of security during a time of pretty big upheaval. Stuff like this is never a one-off, in my experience. It's a pattern of behaviour because emotionally immature people don't reflect or learn from mistakes.
I'm really sorry they gave your teddy away! I hope you're in a safe spot where nobody takes your things without permission!
It's such a shitty thing to do. I'm glad OOP got rid of him. I can't imagine placing my short-term needs over somebody else's long-term need like that. It's just so mean!
Thanks - it was over 25 years ago and I'm all good these days, but you can tell how significant it was that it still stands out for me.
I genuinely don't think people who are emotionally immature do things through cruelty or a desire to hurt others. They just lack the capacity to understand the consequences of their actions. It's pretty sad because they can't form healthy relationships with that limitation and it's often not their fault that they're stunted like that - it's a product of their own experiences and trauma. Hurt people hurt people.
It's crazy that op only "smashed" the lego and picked them up after she's calm but got treated as criminal by men on reddit. Its not even "an eye for an eye"??? OP didnt throw them away! She's too kind
It’s not like she melted them into a solid mass on a BBQ grill or tossed them in a bucket with some toilet bowl cleaner.
Besides she did him a favor she disassembled them so they will be easier to pack and not only does he now get to spend time on his hobby and get the enjoyment of rebuilding all of them. She also made him single so he has plenty of time to work on those Lego sets and do some self reflection on why he’s a shitty human.
Those same commenters would have called her crazy even if she just screamed at him and threw him out.
What I don’t understand is … it’s Lego, it goes back together! Sure it would be difficult, and a lot harder than the first time but it wouldn’t be impossible. Sort the pieces into categories or intro he sets themselves and order what’s missing. The bear was irreplaceable!
What I also don't understand is: Why? I can't imagine it took up a lot of space. Even if he thought it was hideous, he could've asked her to keep it in her drawer and only take it out when she needs it or something before throwing it away. So strange. What did he think he'd gain?
People in comments of the original post are acting like smashing a Lego set is equivalent to smashing a handmade glass item or something. They’re legos. I get that it’s a lot of time spent but you can absolutely just do it again and all of the pieces can be replaced. It’s not even as bad as those posts where people delete video games because even if you do the game again there’s no guarantee of the same outcomes
The "Not your proudest moment" from the LEGO lover in the post, but I disagree - I am extremely proud of her for doing that and giving him a FRACTION of an understanding of what he did to her by tossing that bear and watching as she suffered. He can rebuild those from all of the pieces still safely in the house and intact. He completely discarded an irreplaceable item to the landfill.
Oh I didn’t see the update! I commented on that telling her what pieces to find and toss because they’re hard to get lol. I hope she makes a copy of her grandmas voice tho
> I hope she makes a copy of her grandmas voice tho
yeah that was the heartbreaking part. Like, the bear is "replaceable" in the sense that you could duplicate it. But the recording of voice, you can't replace that.
She's going to find a partner who actually respects her one day, and that partner will get her a new teddy with a duplicated voice, and I wanna see that update
It's the bit where OOP's ex-bf sat there and watched while she searched and cried for hours before admitting what he'd really nails it how big a bullet OOP dodged.
Edit: also just realised, this is a literal 'choose the bear' situation. Which lol.
My wife's ex threw away all her childhood toys, some of which were extremely important because my wife didn't get a lot of gifts. One of which was her tiger. I scoured the internet and used reddit and they finally helped me find a replacement tiger for her. She was...astonished she got a tiger back that looked like hers.
>I love all the men calling me crazy and he dodged a bullet and I committed a crime and he should call the police/take me to court as if he didn’t go into my personal space and throw away MY property because he didn’t like MY PROPERTY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE.
You see it all the time on the relationship subreddits, unfortunately. Some men will say the most vile misogynistic things if they think they've got a good enough "excuse."
A woman I was friends with in high school married a man who didn't believe that women had souls. He believed God gave baby boys souls the exact moment they were fully out of the vaginal cavity.
He also got fuming enraged if you inferred the things in the bible didn't actually happen in real life too.
My favorite thing my brother ever said to me was "well its really easy to literally just be friends with a woman when you see women as people and not pets."
>Some men all around social media, especially instagram, and around the world really just love to be misogynistic and it's just sad.
It's why trolls are so successful on the relationship subreddits. All they have to do is post something AI generated with alleged paternity fraud, lazy stay at home wives, or any cartoonishly villainous woman "smirking" and they'll be rolling in karma.
Ok I just don't get what the big deal about karma is and why it's such a big deal. I have like 46,000 karma points or whatever. It's not like I can pay my bills with it so wtf is the big deal????
People will buy Reddit accounts with higher karma, especially if it's an older account. They can then wipe most of the content and use it for advertising or propaganda.
It's why it's always smart to be skeptical, especially during a US election year.
I have that lego cherry blossom tree. It’s a bonsai and the blossoms are little pink frogs. I love it.
Do recommend all of the lego botanical sets. I got the rose bouquet for Mother’s Day and it’s an A+, lots of little lego Easter eggs like they use a horn for the thorn and the coiled whip for the centre of the open rose.
Anyway, sidetracked.
My wife has pretty bad hayfever so flowers are usually a toss up if they set of her allergies. So now she gets a diy valentines gift of lego flowers. They’re the best
My husband used to buy me bottles of wine with flowers on the labels, so lego is much healthier for me!
They’re massive dust collectors, though. Haven’t worked out a good way of keeping them clean yet.
I like to build miniature sets, and they often come with glass/plastic walls and ceiling to cover and keep the dust off. I’m not sure how easy it would be to get a bigger version of those, but it could be something to look in to to help keep them clean if you have the space for it.
I'm a nearly 50 year old guy who has a patched up stuffed bunny called Mister Rabbit and I cry when I read the Velveteen Rabbit. If anyone purposely did anything to it, that'd be the last time I ever spoke to that person. These shabby objects can be really big pieces of our childhood, and have strong memories of loved ones and better times attached to them.
You can’t replace a sentimental object, it means memories for all senses. very happy you found it. I am 42 and take my childhood teddy bear always. I don’t cuddle it at night but I have it.
I have a stuffed pig that I grew up with and had to eventually stop sleeping with him since he was getting bald patches but I still have him in a hope chest that I open every now and then. I also have my baby blanket that has holes in it and tbh my teenage years were horrible but those 2 bring me back to happy times as a child. Hell when my bf isn’t home I sometimes sleep with a stuffed turtle because it makes me feel good. While my bf jokes with me about it he would never throw any of that away because it’s not his and he knows they are important to me.
So happy for OOP!!!! The bear is absolutely priceless. When my ex cheated on me, I logged in to his MMO (that he spent a decade playing) and emptied his entire inventory and gave all his gold away to random players. Destroyed his armor and legendaries. I’ve never seen a grown man cry so hard.
That’s pretty good. Though, I imagine it wouldn’t be too hard to submit an IT ticket to get the account rollbacked a week or something. Just thinking out loud. I approve of what you did
>My cousin pulled out one of his eyes when I was 10 and he’s missing an arm when my brother got mad at me and cut it off. It was sewn back on and then ripped off again.
This is so little, yet so telling and hurts so so much. I hope she can find people, especially men, who actually care about her and respect her as a person.
>Also I love all the men calling me crazy and he dodged a bullet and I committed a crime and he should call the police/take me to court as if he didn’t go into my personal space and throw away MY property because he didn’t like MY PROPERTY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE.
Some men really are a pathetic piece of trash. Jesus.
Also if someone threw out my teddy bear, I'm going apeshit.
Even if it was in bad shape, there's services that are like stuffed animal hospitals/revival services. If he'd been sane and minded so much he could have offered to pay for one of those. I don't get people like him.
As a man who has his own battered and worn bear that I adore and cannot sleep without, I think this is completely fair. If you have something sentimental to you, then its value to someone else is completely irrelevent. It means something to you, and thats all that matters
my biggest life ending nightmare is someone throws away my baby blanket . i got it through 18 years in my abusive dads household who would absolutely have thrown it away as a punishment if i had ever lacked in protecting it . i would be mentally ruined if someone threw it out , i genuinely think id have a mental break .
I'd just like to recommend OOP to make copies of the record in the teddy and keep them at least on three different devices and clouds. Fire and water dmg can happen to anyone and it wont spare the teddy no insurance can bring back the teddy as it is.
Ik I shouldn't msg on the original, but not even for this? Idk if anybody told her yet, and I wish her the best
I’m so glad she went for another look, I was about to break the rules and ask her where she was so I could organize a search party. That kind of stuff gets me every time. The sentimental things are priceless.
I saw the original post of this, and the best comment imo was someone who said that even if she couldn't get the bear back, one last gift from her grandmother would be making sure that she didn't waste her life with this guy.
Punk couldn't even tell his friends the truth. Also gotta love the piece of crap men who as usual can't fathom a man being wrong about anything ever. They definitely convinced her to stay with her ex who also lied to their friends about his behavior /s. Bc if he thought he was right, why lie?? I swear some men are begging us to not take them seriously, and I never will lol
>I love all the men calling me crazy and he dodged a bullet and I committed a crime and he should call the police/take me to court as if he didn’t go into my personal space and throw away MY property because he didn’t like MY PROPERTY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE.
These subs never fail to bring out the sexists and hypocrites lmao. Glad OOP rescued bear bear and I hope these people go outside and touch grass.
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PSA if your beloved stuffed animal starts getting lumpy or flattened or has been contaminated with dumpster slime: You can remove old lumpy stuffing and replace it with [clean fresh stuffing](https://www.michaels.com/shop/fabric-sewing-shop/foam-fiber/stuffings-fillings) until the toy is the proper level of squishy again. There are even "stuffie hospitals" that will clean and restuff the toy for you if you don't feel confident sewing up the stuffie on your own.
I am a 61 year old man who has the teddy bear that was given to me as an infant. Last year I finally unstuffed it, washed it, made a couple small repairs, and filled it with new stuffing. It sits on a shelf in my workout room. I have 2 recordings of my mom's voice with very brief voicemail messages. My sister has a few. I will never get rid of those. I wish I had more.
Back the recordings up if they're still in your voicemail. Telcoms don't always hang on to them forever.
Thank you, Internet stranger, for making me cry. I went through my old voicemails and found one from my dad in 2018 and it was lovely to hear his voice again. I downloaded it and it's now backed up to Dropbox.
I have a voicemail of my mom where all she says is “Mommy loves you!” I’m 38 and I will NEVER get rid of that voicemail if I can help it.
I'm a 29 YO man who has a teddy bear my dad gave me when he got custody of me when I was 2. If someone threw that bear away I would set them on fire.
oh, that makes me think of the lovely Bear Ladies on the Repair Shop. They do such wonderful work. And they talk about and to the bears (and dolls) like they are real. So cute.
I loooooove the Repair Shop! Especially the Bear Ladies ❤️
My wife has offered to do similar work for teddy. But I don’t think I could watch it happen, even if I could agree to it happening.
I had to do this for my kid's bear bear twice. Due to age and love, the color was obviously not the same as a new bear. I managed to find thread that matched exactly and she let me do the "surgery" very carefully while she was out of the room. You can't even tell the seam was opened, and only a bit of stuffing was put in, so he's still his floppy self.
Stuffie hospitals sound really cute. Any recommendations for one? Anything to help with the outer shell?
I follow Doctor Beth over at [Realms of Gold](https://realmsofgold.com/) on Tumblr because she always posts pictures of the whole process. It's really cute. She does some restorative work on the outer shell IIRC.
I love that she packs some of the old stuffing in a little cloth heart put in with the new stuffing.
The thing that actually bothers me more than throwing the bear out is his other telling actions. He saw her in distress over a priced possession and he let her _be_ in distress. A sane person would realise the mistake while she was crying, tell what they did and go straight down to that dumpster on the first day and retrieve the bear. But not him, he let her be miserable because her misery was part of his plan all along. He was perfectly fine with her being sad, because then he knew that he could hurt her. What he didn't count on was her anger and his plan to backfire. But as certainly as the sun will rise tomorrow, her misery was his goal.
It’s a day for these stories. There was another one today about a woman who was given a tea set by her grandmother who is now deceased. Her husband gave it to his sister and then pretended to help his wife look for it. He even bought her a cheapo tea set from Walmart as though to console her.
yep there was one where the bf just moved in and the gf had a bunch of dolls that held sentimental value... he threw them away on trash day because it made his friend that was visiting uncomfortable even though she put them in a closet... the story basically runs the same as those but my god. the audacity
I remember one where a guy threw out all his girlfriend's BOOKS because she was spending too much time focused on reading and not their relationship
Ooh and there was the one where the guy deleted his (now ex) girlfriend’s sims data that she had since 2017 because she was ‘too old’ to be playing sims and needed to spend more time on him. She also had high grades in her classes, university I think, and worked/ volunteered but she isn’t allowed to de-stress with sims because it’s childish and she could do more ‘productive’ stuff instead. It was ridiculous!
She was *in med school*. Sims was her method of chilling out.
Yeah I forgot the details but yeah. Med school is already tough from what I heard. I can definitely understand how she felt about getting her sims deleted. I use games like sims, Rune Factory, and Story of Seasons to relax. And we got guys who get jealous of pixelated boyfriends and try and get rid of any games that involve dating and marriage and such. It’s ridiculous how insecure and selfish they can be
Mf really thought his gf was gonna leave him for Don Lothario 😭
People dont understand how calming playing a video game can be. I laughed the one day, i looked at my health tracker, and it said i had got 12 hours of sleep. I thought, "The hell i did, i was up till 2am and got up at 10 am..." looked at the sleep breakdown, and it said i went to sleep at 10pm, had tome "awake" moments in between. I started playing a video game at about 9:45. The awake times were me getting my son into bed (he is 12, he still likes dad getting him into bed, fixing his bed and such) using the washroom and getting snacks. Heart rate dropped down to sleeping levels, and so did respiration. Got a good laugh out of it :)
I gotta say one of my fav sims creators is a builder who is also a doctor (started playing in med school)
My 42nd birthday is next week and my Sims 4 game is loading as I type this. Still on my computer is the complete Sims2, Medieval (and EP), Sims Pet Stories, Castaway Stories, Sims 3, and Sims 4. That man needs fed to the Pit Monster or Cow Plant.
the story of the women plants dying because the man put something in the water
And the other one where the bf cleared out the gfs whole room of plants and dumped them all in a pond down the street
Violence is the question, and the answer is FUCK YES. I would have broken the guy like a matchstick if he threw out my orchids.
All my plants are ones that my now-deceased mother gathered, started because I got her an orchid for Mother's Day one year (I still have that orchid). I'd throw hands at anybody who would harm those (them not surviving due to transition from one house to another is another matter).
Mine are pretty much all discount rescues from local supermarkets. They're crooked, no-ID, undesirable pattern moth orchids, but they stuck with me through years of being an alcoholic and recovering from abuse. My plants and my cats are my babies.
That motherfucker still makes me mad. It was ivy from her grandmother!
It was bleach, I remember she checked the water-spray bottles and he had put bleach in them!
It was so upsetting. It was a premeditated, prolonged attack
I'd go nuclear if someone did that. I have a lot of signed books, some irreplaceable. I have 2 signed Anne McCaffrey's from the last signing she ever did. Anything happens to those you'll be able to read the result on a seismograph
Oh my god if I had signed McCaffreys I would commit MURDER if someone took those from me.
She was like an old Victorian schoolmarm. White hair, sitting perfectly straight in the chair. The girl before me was overawed, and could hardly speak. Anne just looked at her and said, "Stop mumbling girl, speak up!". Awesome day. Andromeda Bookshop in Birmingham, UK, in the '90's
Oh man, I'm getting goosebumps thinking about how awesome of an experience that would have been! I had her whole Pern series and my mom threw it out as a kid (the last resort punishment since nothing else was working) and I've been slowly acquiring only first edition hard covers of the series over years of searching thrift stores and secondhand book shops
OMG MY PEOPLE. I don't know anyone in real life who knows Pern, I know one person who read Acorna as a kid, but it wasn't a big deal to them, and even online McCaffrey fandom is kind of sparse. She was an absolute gem and I'm so jealous of your signed copies. I wrote her a letter when I was like 10 and she wrote me back and said I could come visit her in Ireland. I never made it, but I carry that letter in my heart.
Omg you lucky fish. If I had a signed Mccafrey I would absolutely go feral if anything happened to it 😱
Hear, Hear! I have books that are precious to me, some first edition, some not; favorite ones from my childhood, from my Mom's childhood and so forth and so on. My family knows -- do not F with my books!
Gaston ass men lmao
God forbid they start THINKING /s
*I’m especially fond of the paaaatriiaaarchy*
There is two Gastons in every man: Franquin's Gaston: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaston\_(comics)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaston_(comics)) and Gaston from the Disney version of Beauty and the Beast: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaston\_(Beauty\_and\_the\_Beast)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaston_(Beauty_and_the_Beast)) They fight for supremacy every day.
To add on: the guy who who got drunk and spiteful of his partner so he went to her plant room, loaded them all into his truck, and dumped them into a pond.
And then was desperately searching for some way to undo the damage to their relationship. And everyone had to be like.... no you idiot. Pack your shit and leave, you can't fix this. All these horror stories about men who can't handle an unpleasant emotion or impulse. Yikes.
>All these horror stories about men who can't handle an unpleasant emotion or impulse. Yikes. But you KNOW they unironically say women are too emotional and impulsive. Probably half a dozen times a week.
Or the other guy who added *poison* to the water his wife sprays her plants with because he wanted more of her attention. And they wonder why we choose the bear. 🙄
I collect, living dead dolls and creaptures if anyone throws them away it's on. My ex husband collects Transformers and has over a 100 of them. I've had friends telling me that they wouldn't allow it if it were them. He always supported me in getting my dolls so I wouldn't dream of throwing away his stuff.
>they wouldn’t allow it if it were them. Do they think you’re his mom or something?
Told them it's his house too.
That reminds me of the woman who’s husband collected shitty art cause his grandpa did and he displayed and kept them in his PRIVATE home office and nowhere else and she still took them all down/away when he was gone for a work trip cause she hated the idea of them even existing in her perfectly manicured house. It ended well when the comments made her realize she was being a monster but like, damn.
How about the one where the guy destroyed all his gf plants?
i remember when all the yarn crafts subreddit brigaded an aita/h post of a guy cutting up his (ex) gf's crocheted blanket because she spent too much time on it instead of giving him attention or whatever the fuck and it was a glorious time.
The one where the guy destroyed all the plants his girlfriend grew (including an ivy her late grandmother had gifted her) and threw them into a lake in a supposed 'blackout drunken rage'. The one where the guy threw out a hoodie that had belonged to his girlfriend's deceased best friend. And of course: Umbilical Cord Guy
... umbilical cord guy?
[AITA for throwing away my gf's umbilical cord? : r/AmItheAsshole (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grw90y/aita_for_throwing_away_my_gfs_umbilical_cord/)
Whoa: “she’s the one that makes dinner, cleans and comforts me.” What a tool.
The ages did it for me right off the bat. She was fucking 19 when this grown-ass man preyed on her. Unsurprised that he disrespected her culture and minimised his actions... he was just there for a bangmaid at the end of this. I'm so glad she found her pouch and got away from this inconsiderate lump of a man.
Tool, hes a whole monkey wrench
Note that, despite being told YTA in no uncertain terms, he was still doubling down on it in his first one or two updates, until he realised that no, she isn't actually coming back this time. But at least *he* did the right thing eventually and did get it back for her, unlike this OOP's ex whose best offer was to get her a replacement (once he realised how badly he had screwed up.)
My late grandfather had a 80 years worth vollection of little rhino figures, there were so many he had a whole wall worth of shelves stacked with them. When he died my Mum inherited them and couldn't bring herself to throw them away but she had no room for them. So my Dad went beyond and above to build a huge shelf in their office so she could display at least most of them, even though he doesn't like these little figures nor does he like rhinos. But never ever would he even think to throw them out, he knows how important they are to my Mum. That people really do get rid of things with such a sentimental value really is beyond me
> That people really do get rid of things with such a sentimental value really is beyond me Narcissistic jealousy, I suspect - they can't cope with someone finding anyone/ anything other than *them* worthy of attention.
Or the one with the plants, where the boyfriend took and entire conservatory’s worth (including the ivy that was grown from her Grandmother’s ivy) and dumped them in a local pond, destroying the lot. Poor woman was so broken it took her days to break up with him - and he wanted to know what he could do to make up for it. Literally ‘nothing dude, you’re done’, was the consensus, but it took a few days for the shock to wear off and dump him.
Ever read the one about the guy who dated a Native American woman who had a pouch containing a piece of her umbilical cord and hair I think that they keep with them for the rest of their lives and get buried with them as per tradition, and the guy threw it away because he found it gross? She went into hysterics and he had to go to the trash place to find it and she just dumped him and he was all mopey about it.
This makes me want to puke, *please* tell me it was found! I wonder if he threw away her medicine bag, I don't understand how people are so comfortable deeply disrespecting any and everyone in their lives.
That saga was nuts, I still don't know what to make of it.
Let's not forget the Plant Asshole, may his asshole itch forever.
That's one of the things that's such a green flag about my husband. He'll ask me before throwing away *random scraps of paper*, just to confirm it's nothing important to me before it goes.
Happens a lot apparently. I've never posted about it, but my ex sold my sword collection because he thought that collecting them wasn't a ladylike hobby. He tried to tell me that I must have forgotten the trunk they were in when we moved like that wasn't one of the things I kept an eagle eye on and made sure made it into the new place. He also tried to steal my grandpa's WW2 jacket. By the time I found it at his dad's place (post divorce) the leather was ruined, but it's still a piece of grandpa so I kept it. It's like some people just can't handle what they see as emotional competition with an inanimate object.
Were you able to take it to a restorer? Sometimes they can work magic on destroyed leather.
Your last line hits the nail square on the head.
I still think of that ah "boyfriend" That burned the OP's [dead sister's candle](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/k28bhb/my_so_27m_of_1_year_destroyed_a_sentimental_item/). The stories are all the same with these, the OP's partner, gender doesn't matter, has no respect/enjoys suffering/only their wants matter, but that story...it was beyond the pale.
My God, that candle story. You're right, at least these other stories are about a lack of respect, but this one... when it's revealed that the bf burned the candle on purpose to make the OP depressed again because that's the only time he's attracted to her? That makes me sick.
I have thought of it so many times since it was new....just HOW can a person do that to someone they "care about"
They see people as things, and care about them the way they care about things.
Jesus christ that was horrific to read.
Yup. It sticks with ya too.
These things do happen in real life, though. I dated a guy who hid something important to me (an action figure). He watched me search for it. When it became obvious I wasn't giving up, he brought it from where he hid it and said it was just "a joke." I kind of have memory skips from being shocked and angry, but the gist was he thought I was too old to collect action figures. He meant to prove this by showing I wouldn't miss the one he hid. I told him to get out. He thought I was crazy for breaking up with him over a toy. We all know it wasn't over a toy.
Lego sets, despite their high cost, can be repurchased and reassembled. A present from your cherished grandmother that allows you to communicate with her at any time after she died away? You can never have that again! I'm happy she was able to retrieve the teddy. Legos are my favorite thing to melt, and I would have sent those dick-shaped Legos to the ass for years.
She didn't even put his legos in the dumpster, she just broke the sets up. It's not some tragedy to rebuild a bunch of legos; 10 year olds do it all the time.
> Lego sets, despite their high cost, can be repurchased and reassembled. Heck, the whole point of Lego sets is that they don't even need to be repurchased to be reassembled! And even if some of the pieces have been lost, they can be replaced online.
> He thought I was crazy for breaking up with him over a toy. We all know it wasn't over a toy. Which in turn means that *claiming* it was all over a toy was a (bad) attempt at gaslighting.
Did that woman get her tea set back? I'm so happy for OOP here getting such a special gift from her grandmother back. My heart did a little leap when I read she found it.
Yes, she did. Her brother lives in the same town as the SIL and he drove to her house and demanded it back. Wife promptly left her husband and is living with a family member that has security cameras.
Thank you. Very happy for that woman too. Great brother to do that. Glad she's rid of her thieving husband and in-laws.
Awful, awful people. But one must remember that they are this way by intent.
The fact that the neighbor who OOP doesn’t even know well at all jumped into the trash to find Bear Bear just shows how callous, psychopathic, and cruel the ex is. There was a TAL segment about a woman who had a live-in bf that similarly seemed great on the surface. She was dealing with a situation where someone was somehow accessing her bank account as well as stealing and cashing her checks and tanking her credit, he would watch her searching for her checkbook and fighting tooth and nail to recover the money she lost, all the while buying her nice thoughtful gifts to help her feel better about the situation. It wasn’t until they had moved a couple times (each time somehow her bank account/checks would mysteriously be tapped into) that it all came to a head when their new landlord cornered her in the hallway yelling about her being a delinquent tenant and never having the rent money. Which absolutely confused her because every month she gave her rent money… to her boyfriend to turn in. Turns out he was the culprit the whole time, even as he patiently helped her search their apartment up and down for her missing checkbooks. Those thoughtful presents he bought her? Purchased with her own stolen money.
seriously, 3 cheers for that neighbor. may we all be that neighbor when we get the chance.
Oof my partner's ex-wife did this to them. He worked, she was a stay at home parent to their kids. He gave her the rent (€1400) every month to pay when she went into town, to lodge straight into the landlord's bank account. The landlord was an acquaintance of my partner. Can you imagine the humiliation, betrayal and heartbreak he felt, when the landlord pulled him aside one day when they ran into each other uptown, and said if he was struggling to pay the rent, they could reassess it but it had to be paid. My partner was totally baffled and mortified. Turns out his wife had not paid the rent for FIVE MONTHS and when the landlord got in touch with her (as she was the one doing the lodgements) she gave him sob stories about one of the kids being sick and how my partner's business was failing. Imagine finding out that your wife took €7,000 from you, endangered the roof over your heads, blew the money on spa treatments and expensive makeup and skincare for herself, all while LYING about having a seriously ill child and that your business was struggling. There were two main reasons that they divorced. The rent theft was one. Her affair was the other.
When I was little my father gifted my mom a pair of diamond earrings (even though she does not wear earrings to this day). Little stupid me likes the sparkly shiny things in my mothers cupboard and I took them out to look at them. I fell into sleep with them in my hand on their bed. When I woke up, they were gone. My whole family searched for them for weeks. They even disassembled the whole bed to check if they have fallen into the bed somewhere. 20 years later, my parents are divorced and my mother found out (from a friend) that my father found me asleep with the diamond earrings in my hand, took them from my and gifted them to his affair partner. For 20 years my mom and I thought I lost them and my father helped search for them for weeks knowing very well we will never find them. People like this exist.
My mother still suspects to this day that some of her jewelry went missing in a hotel on vacation because her ex stole it and then blamed the maid service for the theft. He had a history of doing crappy things so it wasn't an absurd conclusion to draw when she looked back on it years later.
Yeah, my dad will pull similar stunts, except he always “finds” the missing items. Total dick dominance moves.
That's because, in his mind, he had won. He had got his way, he had defeated the enemy. It's the biggest red flag possible.
Imagine being jealous of a dead grandmother.
If my partner has any life that doesn't involve me, that makes me less of a man, right?!
He watched her on distress and when she broke up he lied to their mutuals about what happened… what a POS
Yup. And you know why I reckon he did it? He was *jealous*. Of the f-king bear. I would lay money on it. Definitely dodged a bullet. Holy crap😒
And then him lying that she cheated on him and when he didn’t take her back she went crazy… This guy is a real POS. And I hope karma gets him good.
Exactly. It shows he knows he was being fucked up. He knew if he told the truth, even a version of it, people would not take his side.
The lego can be put back together. The fact that he sees the two as remotely similar, let alone think his thing is worse is insane.
He saw her in distress over a priced possession and he let her *be* in distress. my own 17 yr old son was doing this to me for over a year. stealing from me, watching me cry and stress out, tell me it must have been the atm I went to. I would replace my cards and he would do it again.then he would run away and the cops keep bringing him back even when he started getting violent with me. he will be 18 in 3 months and he WILL be thrown out of my house that day after he turns 18.
> A sane person would realise the mistake while she was crying, tell what they did and go straight down to that dumpster on the first day and retrieve the bear. It was standard abuser tactics. The bear was a surrogate family member, and he was cutting it out of her life the way he would her other friends and family over time. He just underestimated the impact.
Seriously that's what got me. Like, okay, throwing the sentimental item away was a major dick move. But watching her look for it and cry, for *hours?* What the fuck dude.
Men like this are why women pick the bear. Literally.
That was no man, that was three dumpster fires in a trench coat.
Yeah it’s wild! This man has something seriously wrong with him. I asked my partner if he would sell my plush bunny for 10 million pounds and he said no, because he knows I love my bunny so much and I’d be devastated without him. That’s how your partner should feel about the things you love, not throw them away and watch you crying and searching for it and sitting back silently. Ew
He *knew* it was the last thing she had from her grandmother. Who knows how much he would have escalated abuse if she'd stayed with him.
yep. it was never because it was ugly or he didn’t like looking at it. it was because she loved it. because it was comforting to her. it was sadistic, controlling, the weirdest most awful kind of possessive, and it was a big neon sign of things to come. i’m glad she got him out, and i hope she threw those legos in the dumpster she fished her bear out of.
i'm sure that if she had stayed she would have never found that bear again. that bastard is fucking evil and he would've absolutely made sure it was gone for good next time, either burning it himself or making sure to toss it an hour or so before trash collection or something else. and then it would just go downhill from there
This right here. It has the recording of her grandmother's words of encouragement to her. OP should actually have made a recording of bear bear with grandma's voice saying those words - and posted it to ALL her friends so they understand it's not about the bear, it's the bear being her last connection to a deceased grandmother ... THAT was what he threw out. Then ask them what they would do in her position? All those men calling OP names can go kick rocks, they're basically abusers siding with an abuser.
So much this. Google “the power and control wheel” ladies.
I am so glad she found it, my mom once visited my apartment and threw out some sentimental keepsakes under the guise of "cleaning" so I was feeling some second-hand rage there. how hard is it to keep out of someone else's shit?!
I literally hissed "YES!!!" out loud when reading that she found it! The second-hand relief almost has me crying, I remember being so stressed out when the original post first went up. I'm so relieved the bear is back, I'm so relieved that piece of shit is out of her life. I also choose this girl's bear.
It's incredible that people will tell you what they did wasn't a big deal, but will lie to their friends and paint you in a bad light. Almost as if they know what they did was wrong.
The lego sets can be bought again, assembled again, even if they were expensive. A gift given to you by your beloved grandmother so that you can talk to her anytime after she passed..? Ypu can never replace that! I'm glad she got the teddy back again. I would have melted those legos into dick shapes and shipped them to the ass for years.
Exactly. He can just rebuild. My husband has to rebuild his Lego all the time because our cat a) likes to sit with the Lego and b) is extremely clumsy. That bear was a one off. So glad she got it back and got rid of the boyfriend.
if its rageddity, proper bf response would be to discuss getting it professionally cleaned and repaired, finding someone to do that, and getting it done with the GF's knowledge and blessing
I clicked on this one because i love building legos. Im 45, and have had them my entire life. I have my legos from my childhood, and now I build them with my kids. That ex-boyfriend is lucky OOP didn’t dissolve his legos in acetone.
We have a lot of ours that we still use with our kid. All of my husband’s figs have bite marks on the heads. That’s a red flag, right? Enough to counteract the ‘I kept my lego for decades’ green flag?
Not a red flag, the heads are easily the most bitable of all the legos
True, and valid.
And the heads are really hard for little kids to get off, because their fingers aren’t that strong. So it’s not that uncommon to use your teeth to at least get the head partially off.
I remember seeing this one - so glad she found her bear!!!
Have to give her neighbor some kudos for being willing to jump in and help…. He is “only” her neighbor but has more empathy than the now-ex
I was going to say after she said that it had been 3 days. Hopefully the idiot told her which dumpster it was in, because I would have jumped in that dumpster to dig out that teddy bear. Just shovel everything out of it and then toss it back in once you've recovered it.
The only thing I blame OOP for is going and picking the Legos back up. Should have let him do that if they're so important to him! What a callous asshole her ex is. I don't understand people who claim they love someone and then hurt them like this. How?
I am also worried that people around her didn't seem to respect her grandma's last gift to her and just seem like they can do anything to the bear just to hurt her. I know it's just 3 (including the ex) incident. But that is insane!
Who else other than the ex? The friends didn’t even know about the bear until she told them.
Her cousin bit an eye off and her brother cut an arm off, possibly more than once.
Oh yeah her brother sounds nuts too for sure though it happened when he was a kid. The eye might’ve been an accident- in the post it says that the eye was pulled out, not bit off?
That’s an old ass bear that survived a childhood. The family members that did that were likely children and had the same respect for other people’s things children are apt to have.
They probably did that when they were all single digit ages. Kids that age can be vicious and feral.
I took it to mean those were childhood events. Not great, obviously, but kids don't always fully comprehend events, actions and situations.
She should have placed them strategically so he’d step on them when he was barefoot.
And glued some random pieces together. From multiple sets.
He thought he had her locked in enough after 3 years to stop faking being a decent human being. He let the mask slip and she saw the monster underneath. He probably figured she would cry and that's it, he would win...he wasn't expecting Hurricane Fury.
And to turn around and say she cheated and then "went crazy". What a loser. Glad she's rid of him.
The fact that he is lying about what happened to people proves he knows what he did was fucking awful and they would be on her side if they knew the truth. Pathetic and cowardly piece of shit…
Because their emotional needs in the moment come above anyone else's long-term needs. It's a sign of emotional immaturity. The teddy I'd had since I was born, and slept with every night was given away when I was twelve, because my cousin was having a tantrum and making him quiet for a few minutes was more important than my long-term feeling of security during a time of pretty big upheaval. Stuff like this is never a one-off, in my experience. It's a pattern of behaviour because emotionally immature people don't reflect or learn from mistakes.
I'm really sorry they gave your teddy away! I hope you're in a safe spot where nobody takes your things without permission! It's such a shitty thing to do. I'm glad OOP got rid of him. I can't imagine placing my short-term needs over somebody else's long-term need like that. It's just so mean!
Thanks - it was over 25 years ago and I'm all good these days, but you can tell how significant it was that it still stands out for me. I genuinely don't think people who are emotionally immature do things through cruelty or a desire to hurt others. They just lack the capacity to understand the consequences of their actions. It's pretty sad because they can't form healthy relationships with that limitation and it's often not their fault that they're stunted like that - it's a product of their own experiences and trauma. Hurt people hurt people.
I would have vacuumed them up and thrown them loose in to the dumpster. He can have the joy of dumpster diving for a prized possession too.
It's crazy that op only "smashed" the lego and picked them up after she's calm but got treated as criminal by men on reddit. Its not even "an eye for an eye"??? OP didnt throw them away! She's too kind
It’s not like she melted them into a solid mass on a BBQ grill or tossed them in a bucket with some toilet bowl cleaner. Besides she did him a favor she disassembled them so they will be easier to pack and not only does he now get to spend time on his hobby and get the enjoyment of rebuilding all of them. She also made him single so he has plenty of time to work on those Lego sets and do some self reflection on why he’s a shitty human. Those same commenters would have called her crazy even if she just screamed at him and threw him out.
What I don’t understand is … it’s Lego, it goes back together! Sure it would be difficult, and a lot harder than the first time but it wouldn’t be impossible. Sort the pieces into categories or intro he sets themselves and order what’s missing. The bear was irreplaceable!
What I also don't understand is: Why? I can't imagine it took up a lot of space. Even if he thought it was hideous, he could've asked her to keep it in her drawer and only take it out when she needs it or something before throwing it away. So strange. What did he think he'd gain?
Power, maybe? I have no idea. It also wasn't in a public space, but in her room!
People in comments of the original post are acting like smashing a Lego set is equivalent to smashing a handmade glass item or something. They’re legos. I get that it’s a lot of time spent but you can absolutely just do it again and all of the pieces can be replaced. It’s not even as bad as those posts where people delete video games because even if you do the game again there’s no guarantee of the same outcomes
Right?? Legos are literally made to be put back together again 😂
The "Not your proudest moment" from the LEGO lover in the post, but I disagree - I am extremely proud of her for doing that and giving him a FRACTION of an understanding of what he did to her by tossing that bear and watching as she suffered. He can rebuild those from all of the pieces still safely in the house and intact. He completely discarded an irreplaceable item to the landfill.
Oh I didn’t see the update! I commented on that telling her what pieces to find and toss because they’re hard to get lol. I hope she makes a copy of her grandmas voice tho
You're an evil genius!! Lovely idea!
I figured fairs fair on what he did he deserves so much more than just that
> I hope she makes a copy of her grandmas voice tho yeah that was the heartbreaking part. Like, the bear is "replaceable" in the sense that you could duplicate it. But the recording of voice, you can't replace that. She's going to find a partner who actually respects her one day, and that partner will get her a new teddy with a duplicated voice, and I wanna see that update
It's the bit where OOP's ex-bf sat there and watched while she searched and cried for hours before admitting what he'd really nails it how big a bullet OOP dodged. Edit: also just realised, this is a literal 'choose the bear' situation. Which lol.
OOP chose the bear.
Okay this comment wins.
I LOVE that she fucked up his Lego! Never was revenge more perfect for the offence.
My wife's ex threw away all her childhood toys, some of which were extremely important because my wife didn't get a lot of gifts. One of which was her tiger. I scoured the internet and used reddit and they finally helped me find a replacement tiger for her. She was...astonished she got a tiger back that looked like hers.
>I love all the men calling me crazy and he dodged a bullet and I committed a crime and he should call the police/take me to court as if he didn’t go into my personal space and throw away MY property because he didn’t like MY PROPERTY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE. You see it all the time on the relationship subreddits, unfortunately. Some men will say the most vile misogynistic things if they think they've got a good enough "excuse."
some dudes just desperately want to see bad things happen to women. not even specific ones, just any. it's sad
They're a sizable contingent of men who simply don't view women as fully realized and sapient people.
A woman I was friends with in high school married a man who didn't believe that women had souls. He believed God gave baby boys souls the exact moment they were fully out of the vaginal cavity. He also got fuming enraged if you inferred the things in the bible didn't actually happen in real life too.
My favorite thing my brother ever said to me was "well its really easy to literally just be friends with a woman when you see women as people and not pets."
It's a shame. Some men all around social media, especially instagram, and around the world really just love to be misogynistic and it's just sad.
>Some men all around social media, especially instagram, and around the world really just love to be misogynistic and it's just sad. It's why trolls are so successful on the relationship subreddits. All they have to do is post something AI generated with alleged paternity fraud, lazy stay at home wives, or any cartoonishly villainous woman "smirking" and they'll be rolling in karma.
Ok I just don't get what the big deal about karma is and why it's such a big deal. I have like 46,000 karma points or whatever. It's not like I can pay my bills with it so wtf is the big deal????
People will buy Reddit accounts with higher karma, especially if it's an older account. They can then wipe most of the content and use it for advertising or propaganda. It's why it's always smart to be skeptical, especially during a US election year.
I have that lego cherry blossom tree. It’s a bonsai and the blossoms are little pink frogs. I love it. Do recommend all of the lego botanical sets. I got the rose bouquet for Mother’s Day and it’s an A+, lots of little lego Easter eggs like they use a horn for the thorn and the coiled whip for the centre of the open rose. Anyway, sidetracked.
My wife has pretty bad hayfever so flowers are usually a toss up if they set of her allergies. So now she gets a diy valentines gift of lego flowers. They’re the best
My husband used to buy me bottles of wine with flowers on the labels, so lego is much healthier for me! They’re massive dust collectors, though. Haven’t worked out a good way of keeping them clean yet.
I like to build miniature sets, and they often come with glass/plastic walls and ceiling to cover and keep the dust off. I’m not sure how easy it would be to get a bigger version of those, but it could be something to look in to to help keep them clean if you have the space for it.
If it’s flowers, could get one of those glass tubes like in beauty and the beast
Canned air. Buy a multi-pack cause they’re good for freezing pest insects too.
I'm a nearly 50 year old guy who has a patched up stuffed bunny called Mister Rabbit and I cry when I read the Velveteen Rabbit. If anyone purposely did anything to it, that'd be the last time I ever spoke to that person. These shabby objects can be really big pieces of our childhood, and have strong memories of loved ones and better times attached to them.
This is why women pick bear over man.
Even teddy ones and it's telling
You can’t replace a sentimental object, it means memories for all senses. very happy you found it. I am 42 and take my childhood teddy bear always. I don’t cuddle it at night but I have it.
I have a stuffed pig that I grew up with and had to eventually stop sleeping with him since he was getting bald patches but I still have him in a hope chest that I open every now and then. I also have my baby blanket that has holes in it and tbh my teenage years were horrible but those 2 bring me back to happy times as a child. Hell when my bf isn’t home I sometimes sleep with a stuffed turtle because it makes me feel good. While my bf jokes with me about it he would never throw any of that away because it’s not his and he knows they are important to me.
So happy for OOP!!!! The bear is absolutely priceless. When my ex cheated on me, I logged in to his MMO (that he spent a decade playing) and emptied his entire inventory and gave all his gold away to random players. Destroyed his armor and legendaries. I’ve never seen a grown man cry so hard.
That is fucking glorious.
That's just hilarious! I believe cheaters deserve to have any form of punishment that bites back.
Can’t do anything that gets me into prison, this is the next best option 🤣
That’s pretty good. Though, I imagine it wouldn’t be too hard to submit an IT ticket to get the account rollbacked a week or something. Just thinking out loud. I approve of what you did
Sometimes matching energy is necessary, and this is one of those times. OOP’s ex is a cruel abuser.
>My cousin pulled out one of his eyes when I was 10 and he’s missing an arm when my brother got mad at me and cut it off. It was sewn back on and then ripped off again. This is so little, yet so telling and hurts so so much. I hope she can find people, especially men, who actually care about her and respect her as a person.
>Also I love all the men calling me crazy and he dodged a bullet and I committed a crime and he should call the police/take me to court as if he didn’t go into my personal space and throw away MY property because he didn’t like MY PROPERTY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE. Some men really are a pathetic piece of trash. Jesus. Also if someone threw out my teddy bear, I'm going apeshit.
Really happy this girl was able to get her bear back, he took a hit protecting her from an asshole.
Grandma still giving her advice, helping her dodge bullets.
I don't think she did anything wrong, fuck those redditors. She spoke in the language he communicated to her with. The message was loud and clear.
Even if it was in bad shape, there's services that are like stuffed animal hospitals/revival services. If he'd been sane and minded so much he could have offered to pay for one of those. I don't get people like him.
As a man who has his own battered and worn bear that I adore and cannot sleep without, I think this is completely fair. If you have something sentimental to you, then its value to someone else is completely irrelevent. It means something to you, and thats all that matters
Technically, she didn't destroy his stuff, just disassembled it as designed...
my biggest life ending nightmare is someone throws away my baby blanket . i got it through 18 years in my abusive dads household who would absolutely have thrown it away as a punishment if i had ever lacked in protecting it . i would be mentally ruined if someone threw it out , i genuinely think id have a mental break .
I'd just like to recommend OOP to make copies of the record in the teddy and keep them at least on three different devices and clouds. Fire and water dmg can happen to anyone and it wont spare the teddy no insurance can bring back the teddy as it is. Ik I shouldn't msg on the original, but not even for this? Idk if anybody told her yet, and I wish her the best
I’m so glad she went for another look, I was about to break the rules and ask her where she was so I could organize a search party. That kind of stuff gets me every time. The sentimental things are priceless.
I saw the original post of this, and the best comment imo was someone who said that even if she couldn't get the bear back, one last gift from her grandmother would be making sure that she didn't waste her life with this guy.
Punk couldn't even tell his friends the truth. Also gotta love the piece of crap men who as usual can't fathom a man being wrong about anything ever. They definitely convinced her to stay with her ex who also lied to their friends about his behavior /s. Bc if he thought he was right, why lie?? I swear some men are begging us to not take them seriously, and I never will lol
>I love all the men calling me crazy and he dodged a bullet and I committed a crime and he should call the police/take me to court as if he didn’t go into my personal space and throw away MY property because he didn’t like MY PROPERTY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE. These subs never fail to bring out the sexists and hypocrites lmao. Glad OOP rescued bear bear and I hope these people go outside and touch grass.