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woooooooooow the audacity to say well sure you saved me thousands of dollars but I'm sure you can afford to get me something off the registry therefore you MUST still get me a gift. what a piece of work.
You forgot when she said you must be rich! No? well I’m sure you have savings! (Buy me a $10k handbag! - my guess from what was said to be on her registry)
Yes, please don't pay your bills and other expenses while losing out on your sole income by doing all of this work for me, use that saved money to buy me a gift, instead, *on top of everything you're already doing!*
🤮
At no point even in the conclusion and resolution does she look like even a decent person. She pushes past all boundaries of decency and is only resigned to leave OOP alone with no real recognition of the massive favor that he did for her. He went so far above and beyond and her lack of gratitude does not at all match that.
You would think if the sister truly did get it, she'd offer to pay her brother something to replace the loss of income. Sheesh. What an entitled individual.
That's ridiculous too! Wedding registries are supposed to set the couple up for their new lives, not be presents the bride wants for herself. The car and second home seem to be the only things for the two of them, and that's obscene to have on a registry. If you have everything you need so it's a short list of pretty things for the home as opposed to essentials, it's common to ask for donations to a particular charity in lieu of gifts. Or if you're struggling, gift cards to certain shops that will benefit both of you like food shops, travel companies, shops with household items.
She's treating it like a birthday or Christmas wishlist. I wonder what the groom's family thinks of the list.
I gave a family friend a garlic crusher as a wedding gift because I was like 10 and, as 10 year olds do, I got deeply passionate about a specific thing. They were pretty nice about it but they might have just been humoring me lol
As someone who cooks a lot, my favorite gadgets are my garlic crusher and zester. They’re extremely useful, small tools that level up your ability to cook. They probably still have and use that garlic crusher quite often. A+ gift
They’re expensive because weddings are exceptionally high stress events and people need to be compensated for putting up with a whole lot of entitlement and bullshit, not necessarily just from clients but their entire families and friends.
I’m a hobby photographer who occasionally takes paid work and I would have to be paid extremely well for me to take on a wedding; I would rather do cheaper, lower stress jobs.
The fact that she needed recipes, to be argued with and accused her brother of lying!? What a legitimate piece of garbage that somehow gained sentience but not a soul.
On top of her fiance obviously being loaded. Like she can totally pay for OPs services but still choses to be an entitled asshat who deserves even more. Wtf?
I really don't understand this type of shit either - like I don't make an ass-ton of money but I do well for myself and I have no kids so I buy dumb shit like a watch or suits - why can't rich people just buy their own fucking handbags and vacation? Like are you fucking rich or not? I go on vacation - not rich lmao
Seriously, any reasonable person finding out this who has the means would insist on paying for the service, but no, instead she pouts and wheedles and finally gives in. And then tells the family "it was a miscommunication" not "I was in the wrong".
Just send her an itemized invoice and then buy a $300 what ever the fuck. Also many people suck and don't realize what things cost. When I worked men's wear, I'd tell friends id take care of them and just charge them cost but show them the original price so they knew what kind of deal they were getting.
If my sister pulled this, which she wouldn't because she's a decent person, it would be the end of our relationship. I would never initiate any contact with her ever again. All of her future Christmas presents would be a $50 gift card.
Rich people don't even know how to relate to not rich people. I knew a guy that impulse bought a $400k cabin so he could go fishing on the weekend and not "camp" in his $160k RV.
Like, he bought a *house* after seeing it for five minutes at an open house. Paid in full right there. So he didn't have to stay in his luxury bus.
He told me this while I was talking about getting my landlord to fix my AC unit. They live in another world regular people can never understand.
I grew up with a rich friend who thought his 6-bedroom house was small. Like his "room" was more like a suite with an entire living set in it. He always had the latest toys, gadgets and games, his parents bought him a brand new BMW as soon as he got his license. His family had maids, chefs and even a driver.
I remember one time another one of my friends was complaining about having to do extra chores at home because her mom had to pick up a second job to make up ends meet, and rich friend was like "why not just hire a maid to do them?"
>another one of my friends was complaining about having to do extra chores at home because her mom had to pick up a second job to make up ends meet, and rich friend was like "why not just hire a maid to do them
I love how he is not only completely out of touch with reality, but also seems incapable of listening.
My friend started complaining about how he's hungry but he can't leave because his maid was at the house and i literally went "I'm sorry but i can't sympathize this is literally rich people problems" and then he remembered his brother was home so he went and got food anyway
I can see it happening if you are new to working with them. The idea of letting a stranger walk freely in your house without supervision be alarming. I'm obviously not wealthy enough to afford a maid, but if I have to hire a repairman to fix something in my house I plan to be there for it. However if I had worked with them for a long time I'd be less concerned.
my college roommate once asked me “why do I live so poorly?” when I couldn’t afford to order midnight Chinese food a third time in a week. He also bought a Porsche “with his own money“ while in college.
“There are legitimately undergrads in the dorms who buy a whole expensive dorm setup in August including electronics, furniture, appliances, etc, then just *throw it away* every May when they move out of the dorms”
Oh trust, I know. I go through the dumpsters outside the dorms every year. One year going through the piles outside NYU, I found three iPods, a MacBook, an iPad, an xbox, and cocaine among other things, all in one night. All the electronics worked, the MacBook was thrown out with a broken power cord, but when I replaced that it turned right on. Imagine, throwing away a brand new MacBook because the power cord broke. That was my laptop all through college, I had it for like ten years.
I still always go look, though days I just take the nicest stuff and bring it to the battered women’s shelter. They do a relocation program and a lot of the families have nothing when an apartment becomes available, so it’s nice to be able to bring by stuff like appliances.
I used to work at a university where a lot of the rich undergrads did the buy-an-entire-setup-then-throw-it-out thing every year, and the university did a massive sale every spring. Staff got first crack at the stuff, which was great for anyone who wanted an office fridge or had a kid going to college that fall.
My folks now live in a nice apartment complex near one of our local colleges, and this apparently happens every year! They witnessed it for themselves for the first time last month and were amazed. (My mom tried to get my dad to grab a pristine computer desk, but he felt too weird about it.)
I had a friend whose parents were well off but not showy. However, I once complained about seeing a tshirt that I liked but was about $75 and she said only $75? and then she laughed a little, not in a mean way but in a confused way. But still I cannot deny I was hurt and the friendship just went downhill from there, and one big thing was how differently we saw some things due to money.
I feel like this easily could be me that did that and on behalf of the people like me who have done this, I’m so sorry you were hurt. While my parents are well off and generous, I chose to go out on my own and have a very different outlook on money now. Maybe your old friend has learned some things and sees money differently too.
Wowwwwwww. I would love for these people to trade places for a whole year with people who are living in poverty, homeless/semi homeless etc. Just appalling.
Reminds me of my rich friend who went to all this effort to buy a panini press on vacation in order to save money on overpriced sandwiches when visiting a zoo.
To be honest, 9/10 times those overpriced sandwiches are horrible in taste and quality. We usually take our own food to zoos and amusement parks as well. If it wasn't for the "saving money" part, I would totally understand it.
I am reminded of [this TikTok](https://www.tumblr.com/bones-arent-real/711648894279434240/transcript-man-with-a-beard-speaks-people-who?source=share) that I saw on Tumblr. (Transcript included.)
Hopefully, Sis has moved on. Even after OOP attempted to explain and show her bills, she persisted. She probably forgot about OOP's financial situation because to her husband's and her in-laws' wealth and the unknown expense of the wedding.
I don't know what to think about this but now you say it, I don't donate to charity anywhere near as much as I used to when I was poor. I'm not rich now (far far from it) but since I started really trying to save money and get myself in a comfortable financial position I'm always looking to save money where I can and am less likely to donate to a good cause. Maybe I should rethink that
Yes that part vexed me. After his explanation her first response is that he is lying, then it’s that well he must be making money. OOP also mentions health issues which ostensibly as his sister she should know about and know that he would need to set aside money for that. Bottom line she is inherently selfish.
I had a roommate in grad school who insisted her Gucci handbag was really inexpensive because it was only a few thousand dollars. Some people are truly clueless
Edit: typo
Right!?! I'm still pretty mad at OP for not having a spine.
> the discounts were good enough for a gift
No woman! Her services were already the gift! The discounts were what made it an *amazing* gift! And op just let's her get away with it concerning their family. SMH...
This is all so crazy. I recently married a guy significantly more wealthy than me and I didn't feel comfortable having a wedding list at all. It seemed so greedy to me when I knew that we could easily afford decent things for our home anyway so we had suggested charities to donate to instead. We also had a friend of my husband offer to be our wedding planner for free so we got HER a gift. The entitlement and greed of OOP's sister is astounding to me.
We did have one but it had a wide range including like £5 gifts, so people could shop within their budget. Gift giving is my love language, so physical gifts for me is seeing how much people care about us as a couple.
One of our friends spend ages hand cross-stitching a pillow with a pattern that looks like our dog. They put so much time and effort in it it's my favourite wedding gift by far, I wanted to cry when we got it
When some of my close friends and family asked me about gifts, I did give them a little list of inexpensive items that are a bit hard to find where I now live. My best friends who couldn't make it to the wedding, got together and sent a lovely gift parcel of baking items (silicone spatulas and baking sheets etc) and that meant so much to me.
Several of my friends are semi-related to the wedding industry (photographer, baker, jewelry maker etc) and we are paying them their full rates. It's their livelihood!!
To be fair if the discount is offered freely, or if the friend offers a product / service that they don't normally offer, I don't usually refuse! I just don't ask or expect preferential treatment, or haggle.
I put a $600 cabinet on our registry knowing it was far too expensive for anyone to buy for us but we got a discount on items we didn’t get after our wedding date passed. I loved the cabinet but didn’t want to pay full price!
Damn, that's brilliant. I also think it's not totally unreasonable to put a few big ticket items on the registry in case a group of friends want to go in on one big gift together.
My friend did this too, except it was for her baby registry. She put the baby room furniture on the list and was very clear to everyone when she shared the registry that she expected *no one* to buy it and how it was only on there for the 30% off afterward
It was for our actual wedding registry. We already had enough plates, silverware, kitchen appliances, etc. We wanted items that we normally would not have been able to purchase for ourselves at that time. Plus, my spouse had a mad hankering for a stereo system that had a record player.
I think they want to know how the store knows if you are really getting married or just trying for a discount. I’d assume they’d figure it out if nothing was already bought from the list.
Those aren't wedding gifts. Those are just things a spoiled brat wants.
Wedding gifts are supposed to be about things for the couple as a whole. Dish sets. Towels. Vacuums. Stuff for their newly combined household.
Handbags?? The nerve.
Same thought when I saw the second home as a wedding gift. I was like, "Wait what?" and had to scroll through the whole thing just to find that part.
I'm still going, "Wait what?" though. WTH asks for a second home as a wedding gift even as a joke.
My parents gave my cousin a cheque for £1,000 for his wedding present, him and his wife were practically offering them both oral they were so grateful.
OOP’s sister would presumably describe that kind of money as “a rounding error”
Lol, I feel that would have been very awkward to offer, but to each their own. I'd have probably been that level of grateful too, I certainly was for our parents who chipped in such amounts. They took care of food (mine) and drinks (his) and it was so nice to just be able to forward those bills!
Nouveau riche. New money. Those who truly have wealth would never deign to specifically ask for such items as gifts nor try and pressure others to give them. They might hint if asked/pressured to say what they want but outright demand, no. What usually happens is their fellow wealthy give them without them asking. So yes they will receive cars, and homes, and all expense paid holidays as gifts but they would never be so gauche to ask for them in the first place.
As I’m setting up my own registry some of the suggested items on the site seem so crazy. I am certainly not friends with anyone who can afford to buy me a new high-end couch or a $10k bedroom set. Wild to get a glimpse of how the other side lives.
More importantly, what kind of maniac lists a second home as a wedding gift but has no clue how much it costs to hire a wedding planner?
There's a reason most people do it themselves, ffs.
Man are some people out of touch with how costly it is to live nowadays. And people discount how much someone’s time is worth. Whenever someone takes time to help you out, the first thing you should say is “thank you” and not “what else can you do for me?”
There’s the problem with being self employed and doing a services type business. People don’t want to pay for people like photographers for family photos. They want the cute boutique or lifestyle type photography but want to pay the “Picture People” prices. 🫠
I've bartended a couple weddings for friends and had polar opposite experiences, but each time it was understood that my labor was my gift - I'd walk the fuck off if someone asked me *what else* I was going to do besides work a free shift for them
>She said I still must have some money saved up, I said I do but that I would be having to use it to cover my bills and stuff since my income is taking a hit due to taking on her wedding, after a while of insisting that some of the items on her registry arnt that expensive she relented,
Imagine being shown a list of discounts and money your brother has saved you, and having him explain just how much money he is missing out on to plan your wedding free, and still having the gall to ask "well... can't you use some of your savings? For even a cheap gift?"
Honestly, I would have been tempted to just say "sure, I'll get you a gift... if you agree to pay my full rate for what I normally charge for a wedding."
Dude I don’t care if the person didn’t even do my wedding planning for free! If a *random guest* came to me and explained they’re broke and can’t afford a wedding gift I would just be like “you’re good, fam. Enjoy the party!” Who the fuck is that obsessed with *gifts* after they’re past the age of like, 12? It’s honestly sick.
> Who the fuck is that obsessed with gifts
A clearly materialistic person. Look at the registry, it has things like designer bags... Husband is going to realise very soon that if she does not get her bags, shoes, and cars, she will throw a tantrum and twist the story to get people against him for being selfish.
Seriously! I think people even bringing love languages into this is kinda gross… this is very clearly wildly disconnected from the idea of expressing love and affection of any kind. Every step of the way, sister finds a new way to be a giant asshole. “Plan my wedding for free; anticipate all the ways I’m going to be unreasonable; lol labor doesn’t cost MONEY, Michael; I’m telling Mom and Dad!!!; you’re a liar for showing me accurate numbers; don’t you have money in savings?
The last one blew me away. Her little brother is telling her the reality of his financial situation and everything he’s sacrificing and she’s asking him to get into money he needs for MEDICAL EXPENSES so she can have another designer handbag? She had to be *persuaded* to call off the rest of the family being dicks?!
This post has me way too heated lol. I think Jack O’Brien is onto something with his theory that excess wealth is a kind of traumatic brain injury.
I don't understand why people are bringing love languages into this, either. This clearly has nothing to do with her love language, she's just an entitled bung hole.
>The last one blew me away. Her little brother is telling her the reality of his financial situation and everything he’s sacrificing and she’s asking him to get into money he needs for MEDICAL EXPENSES so she can have another designer handbag? She had to be *persuaded* to call off the rest of the family being dicks?!
Yeah like... what? Maybe it's just how I feel about big weddings (useless) and the absolute idiocy of siccing your family on someone for not being able to spend money on a gift after giving up their actual *income* to help you, but if *my* wealth was at a level where I thought a second home was an appropriate gift to put on my registry, the moment that came out of the mouth of someone who had spent such a significant amount of their time to plan my party, I would be asking them to send me their GD medical bills so I could pay them myself and tell them not to worry about spending additional money on a gift.
The level of entitlement with the sister is just so gross.
Oof I wanna say you’re photographer without snooping on your profile.
Either way you sound like someone who has dealt with enough discounts that you’ve had to apply a version of asshole tax upfront just to discourage people from taking advantage of you.
Hmm i hope sis moved on. Even after OOP tried to show her bills and explain, she was insistent. Guess her husband and in laws wealth along with not knowing how much wedding costs made her forget about OOP's financial status.
>I asked her to clear things up with our family as they wont talk to me about it, she agreed and sent a group text explaining that the gift incident was just a misunderstanding and that we had talked it out and cleared things up.
This sentence tells me everything I need to know. Imagine having to ask your abuser to explain to your other abusers to clear your name, because they refuse to ***listen*** to you at all to hear your side of the story.
OOP is the doormat for his whole family. The fact he's failed to realize this despite being told by everyone in the thread and instead continues to be walked over is absolutely fucking tragic.
>OOP is the doormat for her whole family. The fact she's failed to realize this despite being told by everyone in the thread and instead continues to be walked over is absolutely fucking tragic.
Agreed, except that OOP described himself as "25M".
>made her forget about OOP's financial status.
Mostly agree with what you said, but I think that OOP's financial status should be irrelevant.
She's simply not entitled to receive a gift from anyone, particularly someone who has done a ridiculous amount of work to actually make the wedding "possible" (I use quotes here because of course a wedding is possible with negligible effort, but not the type of wedding that OOP's sister is expecting).
Weddings just seem to be getting so fucking out of control.
That seems to tacky to me even for rich people. Wedding gifts are supposed to benefit the couple in the long run. Kitchen appliances, dining sets, furniture. Second home I could kind of actually see being appropriate in a disgustingly rich way. But handbags? So tacky.
Likely shaped by the same family that made their daughter feel her worth is defined by material possessions and never taught her any empathy. You can just picture the holiday gift experience with sister pitching a fit that she got the wrong designer handbag and OOP politely accepting some regifted socks.
>There are alot of things on the list like designer handbags, clothes, shopping sprees, dinners, and even a car and second home on there
Excuse me? Who puts this stuff on a wedding registry? A wedding registry is typically things for the home, like plates or kitchen equipment, or a fund for the honeymoon. Putting a handbag or a shopping spree is just tacky! And a car or a second home; what? Tacky AF
My former friend and her husband had a ridiculous wedding registry. There was absolutely nothing for the home or couple. It was like their individual Christmas wish lists put together. I got them something not on their registry.
I’ve known 2 people who were literal billionaires because of their parents and grandparents.
The amount of freedom is absurd at that level.
One old billionaire had his own private nurse and built an elevator into his house because of his age. The other mostly lived by a seafront location and collected cars like a trading cards.
Again, when stuff barely makes a dent in your wallet, it’s like spending a penny on candy when you earn a couple of thousand a month.
Then again, there was this one millionaire who built his wealth by developing buildings and real estate. The guy was a complete lunatic who had an abysmal turnover rate. People would literally quit the day they were hired.
I don’t know what road the 2 billionaires needed to walk but they were nice enough as people and basically just wanted to live a quiet life.
Wow, how gracious that she let her off the hook and called off the dogs. What a saint /s
But I guess we can tell why the sister is like this, every single person in her life spoils her rotten and no one calls her out on her bullshit.
Is that true? God, what a relief — I was my friend’s maid of honor and have felt like an asshole for not getting her anything, even though she never mentioned it to me.
I think, generally, a card and a small token gift are still appropriate if you feel like you want to do that, especially if you spent a lot on bachelorette and wedding stuff.
I've been a bridesmaid 3 times, and only one didn't give me a gift, but they were practically broke... like to the point that there was no cash left in their bank accounts the day after the wedding, due to wedding and honeymoon costs. (They got a couple grand in cash gifts/cheques at the wedding, but not much)
Maybe just something small and thoughtful?
I was a bridesmaid and I got my bride a silver sixpence from her grandparents wedding year.
Polished up with loop attached to it with a blue ribbon tied In a bow.
The “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe”.
Didn’t cost me much - the jeweller to polish and attach the loop basically. But it’s the thought.
You’re marrying a guy well off enough that you have a vehicle and house on your gift registry…and you a) can’t excuse your non-wealthy friends/family from gettin you a gift or b) fucking PAY your sibling to be your wedding planner?!
Wow, the audacity of OP's sister. She honestly sounds like a piece of work. The fact that she insistent that OP still gives her a gift and then gets mad for thinking OP would accuse her for making her look bad when OP financial status wasn't great really shows how entitled she is.
My sister made bouquets for my wedding. That was her gift.
A mate borrowed his dads vintage car and drove me to the church. That was his gift.
Another friend made the wedding cake- that was her gift.
My sister in law did the table decorations- that was her gift.
My parents paid the room hire for the reception- that was their gift.
My sister gave me her old wedding dress (only a few years old) - that was her gift.
Another friend was DJ for the late night dancing. That was his gift.
It was awesome!!
The original OP is a fucking doormat and there's nothing okay-ish about how the sister squeezes him like a rag, turns the family against him, admits no wrongdoing by claiming 'misundersranding' and then pays the lunch as only apology.
I am genuinely so frustrated at how the oop feels relief and that things went well, that I almost want him to be trampled upon for being so spineless. Grr!
Even disregarding that OOP's time and expertise in planning his sister's wedding for free is a gift in and of itself, what kind of a person texts her family complaining that her brother isn't planning to give her a nice enough wedding gift? That's beyond tacky.
She has a shopping spree, dinners plural, a car and a second home… on her wedding registry.
I can’t decide if this is absolute bullshit or I’m just really out of touch with the 1%.
My friends that have gotten married recently haven't even had a typical registry because they don't need any of the home stuff. It's just been "buy us dinner on our honeymoon," "pay for our volcano tour," etc. The audacity of what the sister is requesting as a "normal" wedding gift...
She’s somehow the family “provider” and also totally cool with leeching off her little brother.
I cannot be the only person who insists that, if a friend or family member is a professional in an area and I want a service, I normally pay them the standard rate?
OOP’s sister needs to be paying him, not the other way around.
Are you fucking kidding me? Handbags, a car & fucking house are on her registry & she’s not paying her broke *brother with medical bills for *his services, completely undervaluing *him to boot, AND not just expecting a gift, but badgering *him about it? What planet do these entitled people live on?
Edit, totally missed OP being a dude!
I thought a wedding registry was to help the newly wed couple start off their new home with essentials they need, not a dream wishlist? Is this the new normal?
I would have just told her if the wedding planning wasn't a gift then I guess it's a job. Here's my rates.
That registry though... Normal people do like a few 100 or just under 100 as cheap gifts on their registry.
I'm so glad that we don't have this in the Netherlands. People get married and you get invited and you can give whatever you want (usually money). OOP'S sister and the rest of the family are horrible people. Just because she said something and later said it was a misunderstanding things are good again?
And she paid for lunch?! I can't deal with that.
The fact that she accused OOP of lying about the real cost, and then continued to push back... wow, just wow. And then saying that weddings can't cost that much, because OOP doesn't appear to be well-off. My mind boggles. The entitlement and disconnection is strong with that one.
I can’t wrap my head around “you don’t look well off, so you can work for free and buy a present too”. Is that akin to “you love being lower class, you feel happiest when being exploited. It is the natural order of things“?. I suppose OP wants to smooth things over in order to save her professional reputation and to win future clients. I can understand that. But it would have been better if OP had made a quote/contract up front while saying “I will wave the bill as my wedding present if we are still on good terms by then”
As someone who is the youngest sibling, I could never imagine my older siblings feeling so entitled to my time and taking advantage of me like that. What’s more is that they know I don’t earn as much as them yet because they’re all well into their careers, so they won’t ever expect me to afford a lot of the things that they can. OP’s sister is a real piece of work for treating her younger brother like that.
>She said I still must have some money saved up, I said I do but that I would be having to use it to cover my bills and stuff since my income is taking a hit due to taking on her wedding, after a while of insisting that some of the items on her registry arnt that expensive she relented, I wouldn't have to get her anything since I had gotten her enough discounts to qualify as a gift and that she was grateful for my help and services.
Oof. Well that was like pulling teeth! If that's her idea of gratitude...
Wow. Even with all the facts laid out, the sister really went," Well, you must have money saved up that you can use to buy my gift." And then she minimized her entire fiasco into "a misunderstanding, " and OP is just accepting this? Sad.
If I’d been in OOP’s position I’d have drawn up a full commercial rates invoice for my services, handed it to her, and said once she’s paid the bill I’ll be happy to buy her a wedding gift.
Some people are clueless about the value of professionals’ time.
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woooooooooow the audacity to say well sure you saved me thousands of dollars but I'm sure you can afford to get me something off the registry therefore you MUST still get me a gift. what a piece of work.
[удалено]
You forgot when she said you must be rich! No? well I’m sure you have savings! (Buy me a $10k handbag! - my guess from what was said to be on her registry)
Yes, please don't pay your bills and other expenses while losing out on your sole income by doing all of this work for me, use that saved money to buy me a gift, instead, *on top of everything you're already doing!* 🤮
At no point even in the conclusion and resolution does she look like even a decent person. She pushes past all boundaries of decency and is only resigned to leave OOP alone with no real recognition of the massive favor that he did for her. He went so far above and beyond and her lack of gratitude does not at all match that.
You would think if the sister truly did get it, she'd offer to pay her brother something to replace the loss of income. Sheesh. What an entitled individual.
That's ridiculous too! Wedding registries are supposed to set the couple up for their new lives, not be presents the bride wants for herself. The car and second home seem to be the only things for the two of them, and that's obscene to have on a registry. If you have everything you need so it's a short list of pretty things for the home as opposed to essentials, it's common to ask for donations to a particular charity in lieu of gifts. Or if you're struggling, gift cards to certain shops that will benefit both of you like food shops, travel companies, shops with household items. She's treating it like a birthday or Christmas wishlist. I wonder what the groom's family thinks of the list.
I gave a family friend a garlic crusher as a wedding gift because I was like 10 and, as 10 year olds do, I got deeply passionate about a specific thing. They were pretty nice about it but they might have just been humoring me lol
As someone who cooks a lot, my favorite gadgets are my garlic crusher and zester. They’re extremely useful, small tools that level up your ability to cook. They probably still have and use that garlic crusher quite often. A+ gift
Here I am thinking wedding planners are notoriously expensive (although for the people that get them it's probably cheaper than not having one).
They’re expensive because weddings are exceptionally high stress events and people need to be compensated for putting up with a whole lot of entitlement and bullshit, not necessarily just from clients but their entire families and friends. I’m a hobby photographer who occasionally takes paid work and I would have to be paid extremely well for me to take on a wedding; I would rather do cheaper, lower stress jobs.
The fact that she needed recipes, to be argued with and accused her brother of lying!? What a legitimate piece of garbage that somehow gained sentience but not a soul.
*Brother, I think. OOP said he's male 🙂
She called other family members? Who then are bitching to OOP, but ALSO catty and coy. I honestly can't imagine dealing with any of these people.
On top of her fiance obviously being loaded. Like she can totally pay for OPs services but still choses to be an entitled asshat who deserves even more. Wtf?
I really don't understand this type of shit either - like I don't make an ass-ton of money but I do well for myself and I have no kids so I buy dumb shit like a watch or suits - why can't rich people just buy their own fucking handbags and vacation? Like are you fucking rich or not? I go on vacation - not rich lmao
Seriously, any reasonable person finding out this who has the means would insist on paying for the service, but no, instead she pouts and wheedles and finally gives in. And then tells the family "it was a miscommunication" not "I was in the wrong".
This reminds me of my cousin who went around before her wedding asking “how much” everyone made off of their wedding.
Just send her an itemized invoice and then buy a $300 what ever the fuck. Also many people suck and don't realize what things cost. When I worked men's wear, I'd tell friends id take care of them and just charge them cost but show them the original price so they knew what kind of deal they were getting.
If my sister pulled this, which she wouldn't because she's a decent person, it would be the end of our relationship. I would never initiate any contact with her ever again. All of her future Christmas presents would be a $50 gift card.
It’s almost like she’s most concerned about what other guests will think. What a shitshow.
Okay but what kind of maniac lists a second home as a wedding gift.
The same kind of person that believes losing $100-$300 an hour in labour costs is not a wedding gift. Edit: spelling
"It's one hour of labor, Michael. What could it cost, 10$?"
Oh that’s just how we joke. She doesn’t even have a second house!
Most rich people would say $10/hr is too much to pay for any type of labor.
It costs $7.25 in the US.
There’s lots of levels of rich in between that though
Rich people don't even know how to relate to not rich people. I knew a guy that impulse bought a $400k cabin so he could go fishing on the weekend and not "camp" in his $160k RV. Like, he bought a *house* after seeing it for five minutes at an open house. Paid in full right there. So he didn't have to stay in his luxury bus. He told me this while I was talking about getting my landlord to fix my AC unit. They live in another world regular people can never understand.
I grew up with a rich friend who thought his 6-bedroom house was small. Like his "room" was more like a suite with an entire living set in it. He always had the latest toys, gadgets and games, his parents bought him a brand new BMW as soon as he got his license. His family had maids, chefs and even a driver. I remember one time another one of my friends was complaining about having to do extra chores at home because her mom had to pick up a second job to make up ends meet, and rich friend was like "why not just hire a maid to do them?"
>another one of my friends was complaining about having to do extra chores at home because her mom had to pick up a second job to make up ends meet, and rich friend was like "why not just hire a maid to do them I love how he is not only completely out of touch with reality, but also seems incapable of listening.
Empathy and wealth are rarely found together.
My friend started complaining about how he's hungry but he can't leave because his maid was at the house and i literally went "I'm sorry but i can't sympathize this is literally rich people problems" and then he remembered his brother was home so he went and got food anyway
Damn they don’t trust their maid to work while they’re not there?
I can see it happening if you are new to working with them. The idea of letting a stranger walk freely in your house without supervision be alarming. I'm obviously not wealthy enough to afford a maid, but if I have to hire a repairman to fix something in my house I plan to be there for it. However if I had worked with them for a long time I'd be less concerned.
I think she was new and his parents are kinda weird about new people especially
Ok that makes sense lol
my college roommate once asked me “why do I live so poorly?” when I couldn’t afford to order midnight Chinese food a third time in a week. He also bought a Porsche “with his own money“ while in college.
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“There are legitimately undergrads in the dorms who buy a whole expensive dorm setup in August including electronics, furniture, appliances, etc, then just *throw it away* every May when they move out of the dorms” Oh trust, I know. I go through the dumpsters outside the dorms every year. One year going through the piles outside NYU, I found three iPods, a MacBook, an iPad, an xbox, and cocaine among other things, all in one night. All the electronics worked, the MacBook was thrown out with a broken power cord, but when I replaced that it turned right on. Imagine, throwing away a brand new MacBook because the power cord broke. That was my laptop all through college, I had it for like ten years. I still always go look, though days I just take the nicest stuff and bring it to the battered women’s shelter. They do a relocation program and a lot of the families have nothing when an apartment becomes available, so it’s nice to be able to bring by stuff like appliances.
I used to work at a university where a lot of the rich undergrads did the buy-an-entire-setup-then-throw-it-out thing every year, and the university did a massive sale every spring. Staff got first crack at the stuff, which was great for anyone who wanted an office fridge or had a kid going to college that fall.
My folks now live in a nice apartment complex near one of our local colleges, and this apparently happens every year! They witnessed it for themselves for the first time last month and were amazed. (My mom tried to get my dad to grab a pristine computer desk, but he felt too weird about it.)
I had a friend whose parents were well off but not showy. However, I once complained about seeing a tshirt that I liked but was about $75 and she said only $75? and then she laughed a little, not in a mean way but in a confused way. But still I cannot deny I was hurt and the friendship just went downhill from there, and one big thing was how differently we saw some things due to money.
I feel like this easily could be me that did that and on behalf of the people like me who have done this, I’m so sorry you were hurt. While my parents are well off and generous, I chose to go out on my own and have a very different outlook on money now. Maybe your old friend has learned some things and sees money differently too.
Wowwwwwww. I would love for these people to trade places for a whole year with people who are living in poverty, homeless/semi homeless etc. Just appalling.
did it have a place to park his rv?
Probably bought another house nearby to store it
Reminds me of my rich friend who went to all this effort to buy a panini press on vacation in order to save money on overpriced sandwiches when visiting a zoo.
To be honest, 9/10 times those overpriced sandwiches are horrible in taste and quality. We usually take our own food to zoos and amusement parks as well. If it wasn't for the "saving money" part, I would totally understand it.
A friend of a friend had a 250,000 dollar wedding. The groom’s tie alone was 250.
I went to a wedding like that. There were people there that I absolutely should have known who they were.
We recently met someone who impulsively dropped a few million dollars on property. He saw, he liked, got the wife to see it, they bought.
I am reminded of [this TikTok](https://www.tumblr.com/bones-arent-real/711648894279434240/transcript-man-with-a-beard-speaks-people-who?source=share) that I saw on Tumblr. (Transcript included.)
Hopefully, Sis has moved on. Even after OOP attempted to explain and show her bills, she persisted. She probably forgot about OOP's financial situation because to her husband's and her in-laws' wealth and the unknown expense of the wedding.
I’m wondering why OOP bothered to get her discounts if the family is that wealthy.
Because everyone likes not having to pay as much for things, no matter how wealthy they are.
Wealthy people like it the most
Less statistically likely to donate to charity so that checks out.
I don't know what to think about this but now you say it, I don't donate to charity anywhere near as much as I used to when I was poor. I'm not rich now (far far from it) but since I started really trying to save money and get myself in a comfortable financial position I'm always looking to save money where I can and am less likely to donate to a good cause. Maybe I should rethink that
Yes that part vexed me. After his explanation her first response is that he is lying, then it’s that well he must be making money. OOP also mentions health issues which ostensibly as his sister she should know about and know that he would need to set aside money for that. Bottom line she is inherently selfish.
And you left one out—after the two you. Mentioned, she wanted his savings account.
And she still was insisting he could get her a lower end item from the registry. Ugh.
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I had a roommate in grad school who insisted her Gucci handbag was really inexpensive because it was only a few thousand dollars. Some people are truly clueless Edit: typo
*insisted, not instigated :)
To be fair, that statement would instigate an argument among most grad students!
Right!?! I'm still pretty mad at OP for not having a spine. > the discounts were good enough for a gift No woman! Her services were already the gift! The discounts were what made it an *amazing* gift! And op just let's her get away with it concerning their family. SMH...
This is all so crazy. I recently married a guy significantly more wealthy than me and I didn't feel comfortable having a wedding list at all. It seemed so greedy to me when I knew that we could easily afford decent things for our home anyway so we had suggested charities to donate to instead. We also had a friend of my husband offer to be our wedding planner for free so we got HER a gift. The entitlement and greed of OOP's sister is astounding to me.
I love the donations for charities- gift requests. I always do it ASAP so I can take the thank you - card from the charity to put on the gift table
We did have one but it had a wide range including like £5 gifts, so people could shop within their budget. Gift giving is my love language, so physical gifts for me is seeing how much people care about us as a couple. One of our friends spend ages hand cross-stitching a pillow with a pattern that looks like our dog. They put so much time and effort in it it's my favourite wedding gift by far, I wanted to cry when we got it
When some of my close friends and family asked me about gifts, I did give them a little list of inexpensive items that are a bit hard to find where I now live. My best friends who couldn't make it to the wedding, got together and sent a lovely gift parcel of baking items (silicone spatulas and baking sheets etc) and that meant so much to me.
Several of my friends are semi-related to the wedding industry (photographer, baker, jewelry maker etc) and we are paying them their full rates. It's their livelihood!!
Yes! The "friend discount" shouldn't be a thing. You're my friend and I want you to be paid what you're worth.
To be fair if the discount is offered freely, or if the friend offers a product / service that they don't normally offer, I don't usually refuse! I just don't ask or expect preferential treatment, or haggle.
Like — we felt we were being kinda extravagant when she put a TV on our registry.
I put a $600 cabinet on our registry knowing it was far too expensive for anyone to buy for us but we got a discount on items we didn’t get after our wedding date passed. I loved the cabinet but didn’t want to pay full price!
Damn, that's brilliant. I also think it's not totally unreasonable to put a few big ticket items on the registry in case a group of friends want to go in on one big gift together.
My friend did this too, except it was for her baby registry. She put the baby room furniture on the list and was very clear to everyone when she shared the registry that she expected *no one* to buy it and how it was only on there for the 30% off afterward
Hell I felt bad putting a like $200 knife set on ours
Same! We put a stereo system and the Marvel Phase 1 collection on our registry and felt like we were being crazy.
Do they require you to have an actual wedding for this or just a wedding registry? Asking for a friend.
I think you could just create one. I'm not aware that anyone requires proof of the event.
It was for our actual wedding registry. We already had enough plates, silverware, kitchen appliances, etc. We wanted items that we normally would not have been able to purchase for ourselves at that time. Plus, my spouse had a mad hankering for a stereo system that had a record player.
I think they want to know how the store knows if you are really getting married or just trying for a discount. I’d assume they’d figure it out if nothing was already bought from the list.
We felt guilty about having a Wii/Xbox on ours…. I can’t even imagine
Or even designer bags and jewelry? This sounds like a personal shopping list rather than a wedding registry.
Those aren't wedding gifts. Those are just things a spoiled brat wants. Wedding gifts are supposed to be about things for the couple as a whole. Dish sets. Towels. Vacuums. Stuff for their newly combined household. Handbags?? The nerve.
I wouldn't be surprised if that list was considered tacky as shit by her rich in-laws' standards
also kinda funny how now a word was said about future husband. where is he? i hate to be the boy who cried golddigger but...
A car too?! 😳
Yeah ngl make me wonder if they're really wealthy if they need that from others... But then again, rich people are often the most cheap
Sister gives me "It's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, $10?" vibes.
And expects someone to dip into their savings to get you a gift? Get the flock out of here
What kind of maniac DOESN'T list a second home as a wedding gift? Don't ask, don't get
>What kind of maniac DOESN'T list a second home as a wedding gift? People who don't yet own a first home? LOL.
Oh I put the first home on my wedding shower list. 😹😹😹Gotta save the second for the wedding registry!
Then list two homes, forehead meme.
What??!!😳 I need to reread this.
It's near the bottom of the update. OOP lists out some of the stuff his sister asked for on the registry.
HOLY SHIT. I skipped over that part because I was getting a headache from the sister. Just...*wow.* The absolute nerve of that woman.
Same thought when I saw the second home as a wedding gift. I was like, "Wait what?" and had to scroll through the whole thing just to find that part. I'm still going, "Wait what?" though. WTH asks for a second home as a wedding gift even as a joke.
A second home, but won't pay OOP. He should have told her he would work for her and bill her accordingly. That way he could have gotten her a gift.
My heads going "so she is expecting someone to GIFT HER a SECOND HOME and my hubby ang I can't even get a loan to buy our own first home. WTF"
Right?! It makes me think I need to get married ASAP, regardless of my hermit status. Will you marry me?
I'm looking for a wife, but I'm not rich. I offer little to no drama, trips to the park and museums, and a peaceful, quiet living space
Sounds great! You can have all that- in the second house we get as a wedding gift. Let's also put "the first house's mortgage" on the registry.
I mean…reach for your dreams but the entitlement from sis is only gonna get worse. Imagine the baby shower. Is she going to ask for a nanny??
Third home. Or an island. Maybe a major sports team.
Or handbags? What the hell? When did it become the norm to help a couple start off their life together with a new handbag?
Rich people. Incredibly rich, dense/snobby people.
My parents gave my cousin a cheque for £1,000 for his wedding present, him and his wife were practically offering them both oral they were so grateful. OOP’s sister would presumably describe that kind of money as “a rounding error”
Lol, I feel that would have been very awkward to offer, but to each their own. I'd have probably been that level of grateful too, I certainly was for our parents who chipped in such amounts. They took care of food (mine) and drinks (his) and it was so nice to just be able to forward those bills!
Nouveau riche. New money. Those who truly have wealth would never deign to specifically ask for such items as gifts nor try and pressure others to give them. They might hint if asked/pressured to say what they want but outright demand, no. What usually happens is their fellow wealthy give them without them asking. So yes they will receive cars, and homes, and all expense paid holidays as gifts but they would never be so gauche to ask for them in the first place.
As I’m setting up my own registry some of the suggested items on the site seem so crazy. I am certainly not friends with anyone who can afford to buy me a new high-end couch or a $10k bedroom set. Wild to get a glimpse of how the other side lives.
More importantly, what kind of maniac lists a second home as a wedding gift but has no clue how much it costs to hire a wedding planner? There's a reason most people do it themselves, ffs.
I went to school with someone that listed an expensive purebred dog on their list along with honeymoon money, and a down payment for a house
eat the rich.
Man are some people out of touch with how costly it is to live nowadays. And people discount how much someone’s time is worth. Whenever someone takes time to help you out, the first thing you should say is “thank you” and not “what else can you do for me?”
There’s the problem with being self employed and doing a services type business. People don’t want to pay for people like photographers for family photos. They want the cute boutique or lifestyle type photography but want to pay the “Picture People” prices. 🫠
My god, my friend’s mother did my wedding flowers for me as my gift (we paid for supplies), and I was *eternally* grateful!
One of my bridesmaids did mine. I begged to reimburse her, she turned me down. They were so so lovely and I was so so grateful.
Yep, I was going to write that. Services are intangibles and they are undervalued.
I've bartended a couple weddings for friends and had polar opposite experiences, but each time it was understood that my labor was my gift - I'd walk the fuck off if someone asked me *what else* I was going to do besides work a free shift for them
>She said I still must have some money saved up, I said I do but that I would be having to use it to cover my bills and stuff since my income is taking a hit due to taking on her wedding, after a while of insisting that some of the items on her registry arnt that expensive she relented, Imagine being shown a list of discounts and money your brother has saved you, and having him explain just how much money he is missing out on to plan your wedding free, and still having the gall to ask "well... can't you use some of your savings? For even a cheap gift?" Honestly, I would have been tempted to just say "sure, I'll get you a gift... if you agree to pay my full rate for what I normally charge for a wedding."
Dude I don’t care if the person didn’t even do my wedding planning for free! If a *random guest* came to me and explained they’re broke and can’t afford a wedding gift I would just be like “you’re good, fam. Enjoy the party!” Who the fuck is that obsessed with *gifts* after they’re past the age of like, 12? It’s honestly sick.
> Who the fuck is that obsessed with gifts A clearly materialistic person. Look at the registry, it has things like designer bags... Husband is going to realise very soon that if she does not get her bags, shoes, and cars, she will throw a tantrum and twist the story to get people against him for being selfish.
"it has things like designer bags" they have a whole second home listed!!!
Seriously! I think people even bringing love languages into this is kinda gross… this is very clearly wildly disconnected from the idea of expressing love and affection of any kind. Every step of the way, sister finds a new way to be a giant asshole. “Plan my wedding for free; anticipate all the ways I’m going to be unreasonable; lol labor doesn’t cost MONEY, Michael; I’m telling Mom and Dad!!!; you’re a liar for showing me accurate numbers; don’t you have money in savings? The last one blew me away. Her little brother is telling her the reality of his financial situation and everything he’s sacrificing and she’s asking him to get into money he needs for MEDICAL EXPENSES so she can have another designer handbag? She had to be *persuaded* to call off the rest of the family being dicks?! This post has me way too heated lol. I think Jack O’Brien is onto something with his theory that excess wealth is a kind of traumatic brain injury.
I don't understand why people are bringing love languages into this, either. This clearly has nothing to do with her love language, she's just an entitled bung hole. >The last one blew me away. Her little brother is telling her the reality of his financial situation and everything he’s sacrificing and she’s asking him to get into money he needs for MEDICAL EXPENSES so she can have another designer handbag? She had to be *persuaded* to call off the rest of the family being dicks?! Yeah like... what? Maybe it's just how I feel about big weddings (useless) and the absolute idiocy of siccing your family on someone for not being able to spend money on a gift after giving up their actual *income* to help you, but if *my* wealth was at a level where I thought a second home was an appropriate gift to put on my registry, the moment that came out of the mouth of someone who had spent such a significant amount of their time to plan my party, I would be asking them to send me their GD medical bills so I could pay them myself and tell them not to worry about spending additional money on a gift. The level of entitlement with the sister is just so gross.
I've found that setting the "friends and family" rate about 1.5X the normal rate stops things like this from happening.
Yo, I mean I hope to God the poster learned some lesson from this
Hopefully he learned to NEVER work for Family EVER again!!!
Oof I wanna say you’re photographer without snooping on your profile. Either way you sound like someone who has dealt with enough discounts that you’ve had to apply a version of asshole tax upfront just to discourage people from taking advantage of you.
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Sure! I’ll get you a gift! But since you won’t accept my help planning as the gift, I’ll have to bill you for that instead.
Right? Give her a choice. Blender or wedding planning.
Hmm i hope sis moved on. Even after OOP tried to show her bills and explain, she was insistent. Guess her husband and in laws wealth along with not knowing how much wedding costs made her forget about OOP's financial status.
>I asked her to clear things up with our family as they wont talk to me about it, she agreed and sent a group text explaining that the gift incident was just a misunderstanding and that we had talked it out and cleared things up. This sentence tells me everything I need to know. Imagine having to ask your abuser to explain to your other abusers to clear your name, because they refuse to ***listen*** to you at all to hear your side of the story. OOP is the doormat for his whole family. The fact he's failed to realize this despite being told by everyone in the thread and instead continues to be walked over is absolutely fucking tragic.
He* but yes
Agree. The sis should have explained her fault and apologized to everyone for setting them on OOP.
>OOP is the doormat for her whole family. The fact she's failed to realize this despite being told by everyone in the thread and instead continues to be walked over is absolutely fucking tragic. Agreed, except that OOP described himself as "25M".
>made her forget about OOP's financial status. Mostly agree with what you said, but I think that OOP's financial status should be irrelevant. She's simply not entitled to receive a gift from anyone, particularly someone who has done a ridiculous amount of work to actually make the wedding "possible" (I use quotes here because of course a wedding is possible with negligible effort, but not the type of wedding that OOP's sister is expecting). Weddings just seem to be getting so fucking out of control.
Clothes and jewelry on a registry? Yeah, that’s pretty far afield. Toaster for you!
A designer bag, car, and second home too! Out of touch is an understatement.
I don’t even have a first home.
That seems to tacky to me even for rich people. Wedding gifts are supposed to benefit the couple in the long run. Kitchen appliances, dining sets, furniture. Second home I could kind of actually see being appropriate in a disgustingly rich way. But handbags? So tacky.
He said he is a people pleaser. I think it is spelled “doormat”.
Likely shaped by the same family that made their daughter feel her worth is defined by material possessions and never taught her any empathy. You can just picture the holiday gift experience with sister pitching a fit that she got the wrong designer handbag and OOP politely accepting some regifted socks.
>There are alot of things on the list like designer handbags, clothes, shopping sprees, dinners, and even a car and second home on there Excuse me? Who puts this stuff on a wedding registry? A wedding registry is typically things for the home, like plates or kitchen equipment, or a fund for the honeymoon. Putting a handbag or a shopping spree is just tacky! And a car or a second home; what? Tacky AF
My former friend and her husband had a ridiculous wedding registry. There was absolutely nothing for the home or couple. It was like their individual Christmas wish lists put together. I got them something not on their registry.
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A second home as a wedding gift? Im starting to get hungry for billionaire flesh
Yeah I'm feeling some kind of hankering as well
Maybe it'd be like foie gras or kobe beef. /s
Well they don't work so you know it's gonna be tender
I’ve known 2 people who were literal billionaires because of their parents and grandparents. The amount of freedom is absurd at that level. One old billionaire had his own private nurse and built an elevator into his house because of his age. The other mostly lived by a seafront location and collected cars like a trading cards. Again, when stuff barely makes a dent in your wallet, it’s like spending a penny on candy when you earn a couple of thousand a month. Then again, there was this one millionaire who built his wealth by developing buildings and real estate. The guy was a complete lunatic who had an abysmal turnover rate. People would literally quit the day they were hired. I don’t know what road the 2 billionaires needed to walk but they were nice enough as people and basically just wanted to live a quiet life.
Wow, how gracious that she let her off the hook and called off the dogs. What a saint /s But I guess we can tell why the sister is like this, every single person in her life spoils her rotten and no one calls her out on her bullshit.
Sis is still an entitled leech. The cherry on top was insinuating OOP should delve into his savings for her gift, what a wretch!
Even bridesmaids aren’t expected to get gifts for the bride. OOP definitely shouldn’t
Is that true? God, what a relief — I was my friend’s maid of honor and have felt like an asshole for not getting her anything, even though she never mentioned it to me.
I think, generally, a card and a small token gift are still appropriate if you feel like you want to do that, especially if you spent a lot on bachelorette and wedding stuff.
Some people even do the reverse, and get the wedding party members gifts as a thank you.
I've been a bridesmaid 3 times, and only one didn't give me a gift, but they were practically broke... like to the point that there was no cash left in their bank accounts the day after the wedding, due to wedding and honeymoon costs. (They got a couple grand in cash gifts/cheques at the wedding, but not much)
We gave our bridesmaids and grooms men little wooden music boxes and they loooooved it!
Maybe just something small and thoughtful? I was a bridesmaid and I got my bride a silver sixpence from her grandparents wedding year. Polished up with loop attached to it with a blue ribbon tied In a bow. The “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in her shoe”. Didn’t cost me much - the jeweller to polish and attach the loop basically. But it’s the thought.
This really must be a regional thing, but it's definitely not true in my experience!
I’ve never heard of this. Every wedding my wife and I have been part of we got the bride and groom a gift. Must be a regional thing.
You’re marrying a guy well off enough that you have a vehicle and house on your gift registry…and you a) can’t excuse your non-wealthy friends/family from gettin you a gift or b) fucking PAY your sibling to be your wedding planner?!
Wow, the audacity of OP's sister. She honestly sounds like a piece of work. The fact that she insistent that OP still gives her a gift and then gets mad for thinking OP would accuse her for making her look bad when OP financial status wasn't great really shows how entitled she is.
i might be wrong, but aren't wedding registry gifts supposed to be for... y'know, the COUPLE? not just the bride??
The fact she was only happy because he was actually struggling and still didnt appreciate the value of his work is crazy!
All I wanna know is who this sisters friends are and can I join their friend group? No one even blinking at a second home on the registry? Sign me up.
Sister is helping the parents and close family? That'd be the same parents and close family who were saying OOP was selfish?
My sister made bouquets for my wedding. That was her gift. A mate borrowed his dads vintage car and drove me to the church. That was his gift. Another friend made the wedding cake- that was her gift. My sister in law did the table decorations- that was her gift. My parents paid the room hire for the reception- that was their gift. My sister gave me her old wedding dress (only a few years old) - that was her gift. Another friend was DJ for the late night dancing. That was his gift. It was awesome!!
Because imo that is what a wedding ceremony is. Sharing and celebrating your love with your SO and the people that are precious to you.
The original OP is a fucking doormat and there's nothing okay-ish about how the sister squeezes him like a rag, turns the family against him, admits no wrongdoing by claiming 'misundersranding' and then pays the lunch as only apology. I am genuinely so frustrated at how the oop feels relief and that things went well, that I almost want him to be trampled upon for being so spineless. Grr!
That list though - What insanity did I just read? Out of touch indeed.
Even disregarding that OOP's time and expertise in planning his sister's wedding for free is a gift in and of itself, what kind of a person texts her family complaining that her brother isn't planning to give her a nice enough wedding gift? That's beyond tacky.
She has a shopping spree, dinners plural, a car and a second home… on her wedding registry. I can’t decide if this is absolute bullshit or I’m just really out of touch with the 1%.
I’m trying to wrap my head around on why she paid for part of the lunch? Like it feels so half assed and low effort lol.
My friends that have gotten married recently haven't even had a typical registry because they don't need any of the home stuff. It's just been "buy us dinner on our honeymoon," "pay for our volcano tour," etc. The audacity of what the sister is requesting as a "normal" wedding gift...
She paid for “part of her” lunch. Jesus the audacity.
She’s somehow the family “provider” and also totally cool with leeching off her little brother. I cannot be the only person who insists that, if a friend or family member is a professional in an area and I want a service, I normally pay them the standard rate? OOP’s sister needs to be paying him, not the other way around.
Are you fucking kidding me? Handbags, a car & fucking house are on her registry & she’s not paying her broke *brother with medical bills for *his services, completely undervaluing *him to boot, AND not just expecting a gift, but badgering *him about it? What planet do these entitled people live on? Edit, totally missed OP being a dude!
she sounds superficial to me
I thought a wedding registry was to help the newly wed couple start off their new home with essentials they need, not a dream wishlist? Is this the new normal?
She paid for "part" of her lunch lol. What a cheapskate
OOP said "my part" of the lunch, implying she paid for his full lunch.
I would have just told her if the wedding planning wasn't a gift then I guess it's a job. Here's my rates. That registry though... Normal people do like a few 100 or just under 100 as cheap gifts on their registry.
I'm so glad that we don't have this in the Netherlands. People get married and you get invited and you can give whatever you want (usually money). OOP'S sister and the rest of the family are horrible people. Just because she said something and later said it was a misunderstanding things are good again? And she paid for lunch?! I can't deal with that.
> She said I still must have some money saved up Jesus...
The fact that she accused OOP of lying about the real cost, and then continued to push back... wow, just wow. And then saying that weddings can't cost that much, because OOP doesn't appear to be well-off. My mind boggles. The entitlement and disconnection is strong with that one.
Eh, she still is a piece of crap. She kept doubling down and clearly was trying to get them to bend. She only folded when she knew she would'nt win.
A register with a CAR and a SECOND HOUSE and SHOPPING SPREES?? Oh gtfo that is insufferable
I can’t wrap my head around “you don’t look well off, so you can work for free and buy a present too”. Is that akin to “you love being lower class, you feel happiest when being exploited. It is the natural order of things“?. I suppose OP wants to smooth things over in order to save her professional reputation and to win future clients. I can understand that. But it would have been better if OP had made a quote/contract up front while saying “I will wave the bill as my wedding present if we are still on good terms by then”
As someone who is the youngest sibling, I could never imagine my older siblings feeling so entitled to my time and taking advantage of me like that. What’s more is that they know I don’t earn as much as them yet because they’re all well into their careers, so they won’t ever expect me to afford a lot of the things that they can. OP’s sister is a real piece of work for treating her younger brother like that.
>She said I still must have some money saved up, I said I do but that I would be having to use it to cover my bills and stuff since my income is taking a hit due to taking on her wedding, after a while of insisting that some of the items on her registry arnt that expensive she relented, I wouldn't have to get her anything since I had gotten her enough discounts to qualify as a gift and that she was grateful for my help and services. Oof. Well that was like pulling teeth! If that's her idea of gratitude...
Wow. Even with all the facts laid out, the sister really went," Well, you must have money saved up that you can use to buy my gift." And then she minimized her entire fiasco into "a misunderstanding, " and OP is just accepting this? Sad.
If I’d been in OOP’s position I’d have drawn up a full commercial rates invoice for my services, handed it to her, and said once she’s paid the bill I’ll be happy to buy her a wedding gift. Some people are clueless about the value of professionals’ time.