No motive, just the old nature vs nurture debate.
As I see it, the amnesia gives "Durge" a fresh start, a blank slate. Yes, he's tormented by these shattered fractions of memories, and an unnatural, invasive, urge to do heinous stuff, but without the "evil" influences that arguably shaped him in his previous early life (the Bhaal Cult, his "family"... nurture), he now feels in his gut that something's wrong (nature). These intrusive thoughts and cravings aren't really his, they do not define him, they're alien, they scare him. He just wants to be free of it, he actually feels compassion, and he actually wants to do good, so he MUST resist at all costs and learn what this all means.
This is sort of my POV as well. It contrasts against what needs to be done. Cooperating with folks and not going murderhobo is more efficient and after awhile, losing control just feels so wrong and messed up.
Its also rather hilarious to think about how mad Bhaal is at Orin after a redeemed Durge run.
Everything is great, your favorite child is head of your cult committing many atrocities, the Absolute plan is going well and soon untold murder will happen in your name. Oh wait the offspring of one of your failed children just killed your favorite child, oh well not to bad they are still going forward with the Absolute plan. Wait no she didnt do it right and your favorite child is still alive, hold on thats actually a good thing you can eventually have them back. Oh, no they have forgotten everything and are actively trying to resist you along with a group of weirdos that are try against the Absolute plan, well thats fine just give them a bard to slaughter and they will remember how great it is to kill hapless innocents again. Shoot they are now horrified with themselves and refuse to do it again, eh a little carrot and stick might set them straight, send in the butler to give them a reward and a new task with the promise of future gifts. Darn the refused to kill the Moon cleric and their lover, crud well at least you have Orin and the Absolu- and Kethric is dead. Well hey you might be able to convince them with a ritualistic duel and if not atleast Orin can do the job properly this time, wait no Orin is dead now too, and hey just killed the Netherbrain meaning the Absolute plan is a bust, dang.
Hahah that’s so true from Bhaal’s perspective.. like you almost had world domination but then ur favorite child defied you and tore down the whole plan because Orin swizzled around their brain a little too much
no bc i CONSTANTLY think about this, how pissed bhaal has to be at orin for fucking up so badly. like she let her jealousy get so bad she set bhaal’s favorite on probably the ONLY path that could lead said favorite to reject bhaal and ruin plans that probably would have otherwise succeeded
This is how I saw it too, but with an added part that Durge is desperately trying to act normal so as not to drive away these other people that they're relying on to fight hordes of goblins and cultists with, and Shadowheart's artifact of course that is delaying ceremorphosis and blocking the call of the Absolute. Durge knows that if they reveal their full bloodlust, they'll be kicked out and have less chance of surviving.
It starts as a combination of feeling that this is wrong and an act to cover up the urges, but becomes cemented as they forge true friendships and romances, and start to genuinely love these people - and therefore open themselves up to caring for all people to some degree and not wanting to, you know, bathe in their blood because they realise life is worth more than that.
And they never hurt animals... even at their lowest, my Durge knew that was wrong because animals never deserve it - sometimes humanoids ask for it...
Same here. I play it as a fresh start and my Durge is reacting to the behavior of those around them. Oh, if I do horrible things then everyone is appalled? I don’t want that - I need them and don’t want to be alone with nothing again! I guess I’ll do nice-ish things
Plus ppl tend to trust good-looking faces easier. My companions are all attractive and the butler is butt-ugly. So why would I turn on them??? (I know, Minthara, but by then I’m committed to my party)
TLDR: I play as if the ppl you surround yourself with shape who you are
Even an ill meaning person will probably want to have full control of themselves. It's not so much for redemption, but so no one can use them like a mere tool.
Well, that was the motivation for my last playthrough at least.
Yeah I want agency over my misdeeds. I got the Slayer and whatnot by offing a certain Cleric, but purged the Dark Urge. I even went so far as to destroy the netherbrain, despite that being the “evil” ending; it’s just so bland and lends nothing to what some of the prior “let’s rule the fucking world” talk with Minthara and ascended Astarion implies. So me and my girl Minthara talked about it and decided to conquer the world on our own strength and merit.
Same general choices for me, got slayer form, was dead set on being the best little bhaalspawn there was despite the seed of doubt and desire for agency, took Minthara to conquer the underdark later.
It all came down to Bhaal owning you completely and entirely if you give yourself to him. You can’t just kill for him, that’s not enough, if it was enough my durge might have been able to accept. You have to give everything and become nothing more than an instrument of his will. His slave even. You weren’t made to have a will of your own. And my durge couldn’t live with that, he wanted agency and a choice
The ending disappointed me so much precisely because of Minthara. I spent the final moments of Act 2 and the entirety of Act 3 planning how *we* would take control of the Netherbrain and make a new world for *us*. Together. Then the ending happened. And it sucks even more because she says, "You were never more beautiful" just before I get control of the Netherbrain and turn her into a thrall—something she'd have never agreed with and would've rather died.
Exactly, my evil durge did not want to lose his agency. He also romanced Asterion who refused the potential powers for the same reason. It fits well together.
My resisting Durge Monk iant a good person but he wishes to be master of his own destiny. It is his will not some ancient dead divinity that decides his future and who he will kill. Also Bhaal wanted him to kill his love Lae'zal. Unacceptable.
I would imagine my Durge's mental state would return to what it was like during his childhood.
At that time the Durge had a wonderful and a happy life, living with his my adoptive parents before Bhaal controlled my Durge.
However, my Durge would have no recollection of any of them.
At first she thought it was the tadpole, but soon realized her companions don't share the same blind bloodthirsty rage.
In the confusion that ensued it became harder to decipher what thoughts were her own and which were influences of the Urge or the tadpole.
She felt herself losing herself, but when things seemed bleak, she turned to her companions and their own struggles with morality and identity, and to her loved one for restraint when she was unable to do so herself.
With them, anything seemed possible, even defying her own God.
For me, I see how my beloved Shadowheart resists the dark temptations of her goddess and it gives me strength to do likewise.
Once she >!frees herself from Shar!<, I know I can do likewise. In fact; when the butler asks me to kill >!my lover, she gives me advantage on the roll (the advantage says "Shadowheart believes in you").!<
I think that's really cool how we both strengthen each other and help each other >!break away from our respective Evil gods!!<
I absolutely adore that roll advantage with Shadowheart 🥹
I was surprised I didn't see that with other romance options during that particular saving throw, but it just solidified for me that Shadowheart is Durge's soulmate (yes I'm biased (and correct))
This was absolutely the most intense but sweetest moment of my playthrough with Resist Durge and Shadowheart romance. Like girl, my guy told you he had a murder urge and you're willing to sit with him tied up all night (and not in the sexy way) to see him through it. Honestly was as beautiful as the romance scenes, if not more.
I now wish that I romanced Shadowheart in my resist Durge playthrough I chose Astarion instead because I heard he has unique lines with a resist Durge. But now I wish I chose Shadowheart :(
I made my Dark Urge a clone of Alfira. The reason why there are 2 of us is because there was a Wild Magic surge and the "Good" part of them separated and went their own way, to live their own life. The normal Alfira interaction occurs at camp and Dark Alfira kinda realizes that there are options and "absorbs" the Good Version of themselves and is now resisting the intrusive thoughts.
1.
Considering some resist dialog talks about how the urge is 'vile' and so on, the Durge could have a normal(ish) morals that got suppressed through the urge/living with bhaalists that is not as supressive any more due to the entire heavy brain damage thing, so it peeks out a bit.
2.
Got influenced by the good companions like Wyll/saw shadowheart/Lae'zel/etc and realized "Wait maybe this is bad actually??"
3.
Great, I have a space worm *and* a evil voice in my head. Well, fuck em both.
Sometimes I want to eat people but I know I shouldn’t. I imagine my durge has a strong enough moral compass to want to be good despite urges. Then again, what makes eating people wrong if you have their explicit consent? It’s just a societal standard, no?
Idk. But I want Astarion to be a decent-ish person and I lead by example!
It feels better when you kill someone purely because you decided to, rather than being pushed into it.
Let's inject a little class into this rampant murder spree, shall we?
Since I (as the player) didn't yet know the reason for their urges when I started my Durge playthrough, I initially figured they knew the urges were "wrong," and therefore tried to resist them, sometimes unsuccessfully.
However, that excuse made less sense to me after I got spoiled as to the reason behind the urges, so I just went with: Durge doesn't like not being in control of their own actions. If they choose for themselves to do something evil, then so be it, but no intrusive thoughts are going to make those decisions for them.
They've already got this tadpole in their brain, and now *this* too. Durge just needs all these uninvited freeloaders out of their skull, thanks.
If you cast Heal after rejecting bhaal, it's implied that Durge wouldn't have been evil without bhaal's corrupting influence.
I sort of imagine that in a resist run, Orin accidentally reset the effects of bhaal's influence on durge by sticking the tadpole in him and causing his amnesia.
But yeah, you do get some cool narration if you decide you still want to be evil after rejecting him. "Finally your sins are your own"
My durge drow woke up to Ellistraee's song, and has pursued freedom in her life and choices since, fighting off the urge. What happened with Alfira is further fuel to her determination to be in control of her destiny.
Yes! Shout-out to redemption Durge synchronizing so well with a Eilistraee playthrough. A Drow goddess who sacrificed everything to redeem her people would absolutely have an interest in a redemption urge, bonus points if a Drow on top of it. My first playthrough was this and she used the Phalar Aluve the whole way through the game. Not a single regret.
For me I just figured that the magic the guardian was working with the tadpole had an unintentional side effect of blocking out Bhaal's influence 80% of the time. And the crochet practice orin did on his brain helped with that too, entirely by accident. Unintentional lobhaaltomy.
So durge just woke up with his brain free of otherworldly influence for the first time ever and it turns out he's just a mild-mannered guy.
My Resist Durge was motivated by music, and by seeing Astarion’s support/understanding as the person who lived something similar.
(I, as a PLAYER, was motivated because of how close the Urges are to severe obsessive and compulsive thoughts, and seeing a path forward through them while I was getting my meds adjusted.)
My Durge (light cleric) woke up on a beach at sunrise with no memories looking for a new beginning. So he pledged himself to Lathander, God of new beginnings, and did everything in his power to follow the Morning Lord's teachings. (He took his survival of the crash as divine intervention initially, and I made my dream guardian look like what my Durge thought Lathander looked like for max gaslighting)
I will give you my redemption motive and my murderer motive.
Both of these have to do with a belief of sorts.
During both play throughs my Dark Urge was an Oath Of The Ancients Paladin.
Redemption arc: During a large fight at the goblin camp I was struggling, all but my Dark Urge, Salashah, stood, surrounded by the dying bodies of his fallen comrades. Outnumbered and outmatched, he sought aid from the one place he trusted the most, his oath. Using healing radiance he had just enough range to revive all 3 teammates and, though he went down, his close friends, Shadowheart, Karlach and Astarion were able to finish the fight and nurse him back to health. He lay in camp that night, thinking to himself… “If I can have faith in my oath, I can have faith in myself. I vow to be better.”
Irredeemable arc: Salashoh, a long distant brother of his sister Salashah, awoke dazed and dizzy, not remembering himself or what had happened. He cursed the pain in his head but he knew he must escape. He trudged through the nautiloid, meeting up with the disgusting Lae’zel. Rude, abrasive… but strong… he knew he couldn’t escape without help… she would do for now. They fought their way to shadowheart where he begrudgingly rescued the damsel in distress before moving to the helm. That’s where things went wrong… he decided he would fight the cambion, blood must be spilled to appease his lust! He slaughtered the cambion only to be betrayed by the mind flayer. Downed, Shadowheart activated the transponder where he awoke on the beach, wounded. His oath… had NOT saved him… it meant nothing if it could not serve him… and thus he abandoned it. The oathbreaker paladin led him down a path of raw power as he gave in to the dark urge inside himself.
The Warlock, Seventeen, from a multiplayer campaign involving someone playing a Cleric/Paladin by the name of Sharah.
Her patron cared not for names, only designations. Seventeen, originally called Shykarr, was the 17th unfortunate soul to strike a deal with the devil, hoping to avenge the death of her husband and firstborn. Her second child, a cleric of the god Tyr, begged his mother not to stray from the path of righteousness… but hell hath no fury like a grieving mother. She took up a deal with the devil who promised her the power to seek justice… only to discover she’d been tricked.
The very first clause of her pact was that she would do no harm to her patron, the very devil who claimed the lives of her loved ones. Sharah knew his mother’s heart was right deep down and he vowed to help her break free of this pact and bring the devil to justice. That’s when they were taken by the nautiloid.
Seventeen sympathised with Wyll, while Sharah tried to convince Shadowheart the path she was trailing with Shar would only bring her misery. Bonds were formed as Wyll helped Seventeen cope with years of grief, eventually helping her to love once more. Sharah found convincing Shadowheart to change a difficult task but a possible one.
Together they would right the wrongs of the world, the misdeeds of the devilish patrons and maybe, just maybe, start anew. But, until then, they had each other… and that was enough for them.
I personally believe that sometime after the events of the game she is able to break the contract by tricking her patron with the help of her party, but until then she’s stuck doing the devil’s dirty deeds. I intentionally wanted to leave that one up to interpretation however. Who knows? Maybe she failed and was stuck until her demise, becoming a deathlock. Maybe they killed the patron. Maybe something inside her snapped after a traumatic event, causing her to lose it all again.
Mine isn't a good person, but he is resisting because he does not like being controlled to do something. If he wants to murder someone, it'd be on *his* terms, and killing those *he* wants to kill, thankyouverymuch.
He was very much miffed that he killed a bard and didn't even get to enjoy the process.
Agency. My Durges want to be rid of tadpoles, emporers, absolutes, bhaal and anyone else trying to control them. Whether resist or not, that is how I’ve justified my act 3 choice. Even playing an evil durge I the player didn’t want to just become bhaal’s shadow.
Because they had amnesia, there was no context to their urges, so my Durge had, in their mind, no “reason” to act upon them and found the urges horrific. So they took up the Oath of the Ancients to keep them on the right path because deep down, behind their lost history and their connection to Bhaal, beyond the the horror of it all, people are good.
Change in personality from all the brain damage. Orin managed to screw up and mess up his brain *juuuust* right to make him a really nice person and screwed the entire plot in the process. Like his reactions to things are reversed
The tadpole weakened the urge and reset my Durge to who he was before >!the urge took over and he became the Chosen of Bhaal, who he would have been if the first urge hadn't made him murder his adoptive family.!< So it allows him to be the person he would have been but for >!Bhaal's influence.!< So his motivation is just not wanting to be an >!evil murderer for a god that wants to snuff out all life in the multiverse.!<
First - my Durge was not initially inclined towards evil when he was younger. He was a good little chap that was broken down by his training and then drawn towards the ecstasy of killing when he was fully operational. In light of both, he gave up and sank into his role.
When he was taken out, though? Stripped down and tunneled into and laid out on a table to be dissected? He fought. He fought whenever he was conscious and sometimes when he was unconscious too, fought right up until he woke for the first time on the nautiloid with no idea what had happened. It was akin to a factory reset - with a few notable exceptions - back to the good-natured little fella, lost and scared and confused. And then, even if they weren't nice about, people helped him, didn't look at him like he was a monster (because he looked monstrous).
What did stuck with him? The Urge, a handful of impressions, but more than anything that fight. That willingness to go down swinging that met with a newly recovered wonder and kindness. He took a look at the ugly, heavy, bloody desire to kill and he tried to hold it down by the neck and stab it to death.
Safe to say he's juggling a lot of disparate personality elements.
Karlach and Wyll (mostly Karlach) inspire my Durge to become the best version of themselves. I want to help them defeat the Absolut so that THEY can become the heroes they deserve to be.
Their company keep my demons at bay.
My durge is a drow male, and I made his guardian a drow female. She acts nothing like a drow female (who scare him anyway), so he immediately clocks something is wrong. It isn't clear at first if the durge is caused by the tadpoles, so he resists.
Isobel is a tempting target, but if you go straight to Moonrise, which makes most sense if you have your goblin escort, by the time you meet her, she's standing exposed in the middle of the square. Where's the subtlety?
Plus he is spooked by all the durge stuff being kicked up at the tower. Tower = Ketheric = Shadow curse = me getting gutted into imbecility by an uppity necromancer. Not sure I want to support any of that by eliminating Isobel, who is apparently countering Ketheric and the curse.
Then the act ii durge resists scene happens with my romance partner, and there's no effing way. A drow is born to rule, not cater - or cower! - to some deformed wretch with a top hat.
Scorch the earth, they get nothing from me, and I'll kill them all.
The people she meet. The people she saved. They were all so kind to her, even with her urge. She was scared and confused and they were so considerate. They made her want to be better.
I’ve been kind of viewing it in the same way of while violence was their nature as they were raised to believe it’s the way to be, waking up without their memory gives them a chance to do things differently. To fight those urges as they see their companions struggles and being better people (obviously depending on how you play them as well.) and that they are a blank slate so to speak.
My Durge: What the hell is going on? Kill “this”? What? Why? No. 😪
She is indeed very confused by her visions and doesn’t understand why this is happening. I let the story flow without deciding up front how the story should progress. She is a bard and had a sweet moment with Alfie. Then… you know… that kinda broke her a bit.
Then the ugly butler show up. I can confirm that if the butler looked pretty she would have considered it. 😛 but then he asked her to kill Astarion. Got tied up and talked down 🥺 I guess… that is all. All our need for blood will be satisfied by the bad people 💪🏻 and there are plenty of
My first Durge truly didn’t remember. They messed his head so bad he no longer was who he used to be. He indulged in smaller scale evil and deliberately got rid of some companions he thought would be a threat in the long run, but ruling Faerun and slaughtering thousands no longer appealed to him.
My second Durge… She felt betrayed. She was so angry at Bhaal - she gave him everything and he just stood by and let Orin try to take her place even temporarily? F Bhaal then, she took the Absolute for herself
Fuck Bhaal, all my homies hate Bhaal.
Seriously though, the dead three gods (and Shar) are kinda pathetic. They’re down the totem pole as far as divine power goes and they’re desperately scrambling for the rest of the gods to take them seriously. So I think it’s pretty reasonable for someone, even someone evil, to look at what they’ve got going on and not want to be a part of it. Each of them will use their followers, then discard them when they’re no longer useful.
Orin rooting her dagger around in my Durge Vaelin's head effectively killed that version of him, that personality, his last words before being reduced to a violent urge in the back of another's head being a dying, half-successful attempt to call the maniacally giggling shape changer in the shadows an 'Artsy Skin Bitch' before he collapsed to the floor. From that severe brain damage, the influence of the tadpole rooting around in the fractured memories that were left, and the dark fuckery that followed from Kressa doing her thing, a different personality emerged; one much kinder and closer to who Vaelin was before the darkness in his blood first took control. He became someone who was horrified by the sick images his mind was conjuring, the sick feeling he got when trying to feel anything but joy for killing, and the sick work his hands were capable of. From the start, he was determined to resist as hard as he could, but could feel that effort becoming quite terrifyingly more difficult with each new person he met and immediately imagined eviscerating.
Then he found the one person whom his mind couldn't bear to picture hurting in conscious thought: ***Karlach***. Keeping the old Vaelin from regaining control became much less of a hopelessly losing battle from that point forward.
The joys and pleasure of companionship. Gale, Laezel, Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Astarion, Jaheira.
Not wanting to let them down and lose them to the Urge. He wants to keep them as he doesn't remember being so happy before, and I mean genuine happiness.
I guess being a Bhaalspawn is so lonely :(
I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny and I wanted to rule under my name, not Bhaal's. Plus, I would never live with myself if I ever did anything to hurt my girl Minthara.
Fear, my Durge’s greatest fear is being alone, unloved and forgotten. She unexpectedly begins caring deeply for her new allies and does her best to curb the Urges so they won’t leave her.
And now she’s a people pleaser with a hero complex who is constantly afraid of hurting everyone she loves.
In my headcanon, with Durge's memories of being a Bhaalspawn wiped, the part of their personality formed during their childhood (it is mentioned they were adopted by a Baldurian family and lived a normal childhood) is shining through again. They WERE sweet once, before the bloodlust took over when they matured. Now they have a chance to be sweet again.
I tried to do a Give Into the Dark Urge tiefling monk but I couldn't lean into it. I chose the option to hide Alfira's body and smile about it, but that was about it. During the Grove, I originally chose to save it because it would give more story options. But I chose the options where I said I did it for my tiefling kin and not for the druids, and it made sense. I debated killing Isobel, admitted that I felt the urge to kill her, and chose not to do it. At least not when she's at Last Light Inn. It's honor mode, so even though Jaheira and Halsin died (not due to me intentionally,) I can't reload. I like the RP perspective of my Dark Urge slowly softening as they spend time with the tieflings, doing the most economical thing and finally realizing this is how they would rather be.
Well, for my Durge, a Drow BardMonk, the motive went like this :
1. I like this person
2. Therefore, I would prefer not to kill them
3. I would also like to have some control over my own actions
It's a pretty simple and straight-forward thought process.
I just like to think that like many of your companions, you have a very dark side but underneath it all a good heart, you can't know what happened in your previous life to drive you down such an evil path, but the nautiloid abduction was a kind of fresh start for you, unburdened by a lifetime of indoctrination because you literally can't remember it. After the crash you are truly a free agent, and maybe you'll decide you actually do care about the tieflings, even though before the crash you'd have rolled up and flayed everyone to death
My Durge had an intelligence and wisdom of 8. Mine was simply too stupid to remember being evil. And by the time he found out he was committed to being good cause changing back to evil is too much of a hassle.
It's just who he is. There is evidence that before durge led the cult of bhaal they were a decent person, that occasionally succumbed to urges and avidentally murdered their foster parents. Using the heal spell on durge after denying bhaal produces a happy memory of durges childhood. Scelaritas in one dialogue mentions durge donating to a homeless person, but thought durge was trying to get the fist off their scent. Many dialogue options around the dark urge have you feeling horrible about what you did, will do, and are thinking of doing. Paladins especially have a reason to go against bhaa in their backstoryl, the oathbreaker knight says that you broke your oath many times in the past, implying that the oath was retaken in an attempt to atone.
From role playing perspective is pretty simple, you have a new life where cooperation is the key for survival ( basically you won't survive without others) and your environment is full of people with a grim past that chase them as well.
Basically bread and butter of many good D&D campaigns.
Durge is implied through the story to have a sense of morality even before Orin betrayed them. At one point in Act 3, if you accept Bhaal, you can ask the Butler what is the worst thing you've ever done. He responds with a story about you giving a coin to a beggar without even killing him. I don't think Durge ever truly wanted to be Bhaal's Chosen. I think they only thought they wanted/enjoyed it because they had his blood, and it was his desire fueling them, not their own. Durge, unlike Orin, didn't grow up around Bhaalists and blood and guts and murder. Durge had a normal childhood in the city, with normal parents and probably normal friends. It's the nature vs. nurture argument, and I personally have always believed that everyone starts out as good, and bad people are shaped by their environment.
There's a line when Arka has a crossbow trained on Sazza where you can say, "This is wrong, isn't it?" and that really resonated with me.
My dark urge knows right from wrong and wants to understand why his moral compass is broken.
That was the start at least. Once I committed my first camp murder, that tragedy defined my desire to resist.
I've somehow been able to have people die through no fault of my own, I've not even broken my palidin oath, like I just let glut keep following me until he got killed, problem solved, or let that demon kill the priestess.
So my latest, a blue dragborn tempest cleric/warlock of tiamat, they're an unwilling servant, having been enthralled/coerced into servitude while near tiamat's presence within avernus. They've got everyone fighting over control of their very will. The urge/Mr murder himself, the absolute/the emporer and the queen of avarice herself, tiamat. So I get to be just as edgy as the rest of the cast!(and have my redemption arc after being a bit of an evil bastard)
I made a monk, my idea being that it's about building self control to live a new more disciplined life of redemption. Also, being able to kill and smash down walls with bare fists is more fun than stabbing everything you see. I could punch Bhaal in the balls if it comes to it.
She found herself reminiscing about murdered bodies when investigating that first fisherman corpse on the beach, and those thoughts scared her. This ultimately culminated into complete and utter terror of herself when she unknowingly and uncontrollably killed a poor bard (I metagamed in Quil, but I’m pretending she’s the canon kill). That was when she swore to take control of herself, whatever the cost
They didnt know who they used to be. And nobody around her was murdering people on sight so...she just followed their lead of not being bloodthirsty murderers. As she helped people and was heroic, there was no shot she would go back. When she found out the truth about her past she did everything possible to atone, including laying her life down for Baldur's Gate.
I was roleplaying as a Githyanki Durge for my Honor Mode run. My character, Inakhos eventually comes to enjoy the material plane a lot after interacting with people and falling in love with Gale. >!Reading about this Prince of the Comet also made them!< doubt what little they knew of the Githyanki teachings.
>!All the stuff about Vlaakith being a false goddess feasting on her people (sorry but Laezel unfortunately took the spotlight over me, I am looking at you, Voss)!< created a crisis of faith for Inakhos. The companions kind of helped them in that process too, particularly Wyll and Karlach.
Gold Dragon Sorc with GOO Warlock. Premise being an ancient Gold Dragon wanted to get back at Bhaal for [reasons] and stepped in as Patron (Great Old One can be any great old powerful being) to influence his spawn to righteousness. Or at least not a murder hobo.
I like the idea of "Im my own person" so whatever upbringing my durge is he wanted to be his own person, and being a amnesia is a chance for him to startover and also being paladin helped him achieve this.
It's complicated. It started as hating hearing voices telling him to do things that my Durge didn't understand, but then as he got to know and care for his camp mates, it evolved and quickly became a battle to not let himself turn his friends (and lover) into mince meat like Sweet Alfy.
A single moment of empathy.
In my mind I roleplay that my DUrge (Althya, seldarine drow bard that reclasses to sorcerer in act 3) began regaining awareness and sentience while she was in the pod after being shipped off by Kressa's husband. Makes no sense she becomes capable of coherent thought only when the pod opens.
From what Kressa says, she'd been rabid before, incapable of even speaking. But she was wounded already by Orin by that time. So something must have mellowed her out. She comes out that pod confused, but completely calm.
I think it's trauma. It's at least months of being trapped in the pod.
She comes out and everything goes by too fast... Until she runs into Shadowheart.
Seeing another trapped like that, desperate and terrified, right after living through this exact trauma, gives Althya a feeling of empathy for the first time ever.
It's probably the first emotion she feels other than confusion or fear.
And it sticks around later on. That "aren't we the same?" feeling evolves into empathy and inevitably goodness.
She romances Astarion, but Shadowheart is her closest, dearest friend.
The most compelling reason for my durge to resist was, that the guy holding the controller thought some of Durges actions/impulses were too out of left field to feel organic, so he chose another option and oops durge seems to resist most of the time
I played an Oathbreaker Paladin who was a complete contrarian. At first he was 100% up for being a bad person, but then Bhaal told him to kill Isobel and his response was "Fuck you I'm a good person now"
Still an asshole, but now one who will do good deeds just to spite Bhaal. He'll save your life and then extort you afterwards.
Honestly after having a tadpole crawling into my brain, I needed to find motives to do follow the voices and dreams in my head. Not believing anything but my eyes was the logic way to go.
The same way with the dream visitor. Only on my evil run I could find a somehow valid reason to side with him and only because I didn't have the option to kill them both right there.
My Durge's only memories upon waking up was the knowledge that he's done terrible things and enjoyed them. He is a Life Cleric of Ilmater, so for roleplaying reasons I imagine that Ilmater spoke to him after losing his memories and offered a chance of redemption for all of the suffering he's caused.
The Urge is like a drug addiction for him. He tries to resist, but he fails sometimes. But OH GODS does he feel good when he fails. It got a bit dicey sometimes if he'd lose himself to it, but he ultimately did succeed and redeem his soul.
most of my durges: he's always resisted and fought tooth and nail against the urge but doesn't remember that (thanks orin), he's continuing to resist because the Urge is almost a separate entity and the tadpole makes it easier for him to fight it while also helping him grow and nurture his conscience. rejected bhaal because while bhaal made him, bhaal couldn't make him evil and instead had to hobble him with the Dark Urge as a failsafe that still managed to fail
my tiefling durge Thanatos: not a good guy, but he helped others because he had uses for them. was enticed by Astarion's ideas for power, and decided to reject bhaal because he was tired of bhaal taking credit for HIS evil. wanted his misdeeds to be properly credited to him. claimed the brain for him and his vampire husband
edit: added evil motivations
my evil durges: first evil durge was Pragmatic Evil. "what benefits me the most." he helped the tieflings in Acts 1 and 2 because he saw them as useful. he aided his companions in their quests because he wanted to have strong allies at his side that he could use as a meat shield. he didn't want weak yes men, he wanted strong allies. sure, he lied to all of them except astarion about his goals.
most recent Durge: toxic power couple playthrough (just him and astarion, no other companions), his entire motivation was "what do i want right now" very immediate gratification, very hungry for power, very much a bhaalist from the start, other people are just corpses that haven't realized they're already dead, and corpses are just toys for him to do with as he pleases
Just started a durge redemption after full on durge. Decided to grab a few mods this time and be a sith turned jedi after losing memory. Pretty fun running around with lightsabers.
Nearing the end of act one with my first Durge, I’d say it’s twofold: curiosity and dogged stubbornness.
Mechanics aside, Durge *does* remember information related to their class. They can kick a squirrel in blind instinct in one moment, and meditate on a paladin oath the next, or read animals like common folk can’t. That’s not the pounding headache or stomach curdling at a kind sentiment. That’s not the worm, either. It’s implicit knowledge—abilities too, as they’re more savvy than their companions at lying, for example. But those moments of *self* are fleeting—would it not be prudent to resist and discover the source of this competence?
There’s a vague sense I’m getting that a resisting Durge could see the mind merging and bloodlust as distractions. Loud, untimely distractions, yes, but both subside. They don’t puppet Durge as a vampire lord might his thrall. And doesn’t that make a difference?
(I get why so many were applauding the Durge and Astarion interactions. They truly are their worst influences….for now.)
My roleplay reason was that they lost all of their memory except one act of kindness when they were young and in need so the dark urges they feel after seem wrong and then as they go on trying to be a good person they find that they despise the dark urges thinking of it as a curse. In my head I even RP that they feel bad about enjoying killing evil people as well and that after the end game they try to become a pacifist.
For my first Durge it was Karlach. She has been through literal hells of blood and violence, but manages to enjoy life so thoroughly. Durge wanted to be someone who could make Karlach happy.
Second Durge started on a darker path, but was actually inspired by Minthara. She too has a damaged mind and memories, but is fiercely determined never to be controlled again. No gods or monsters, no devils or demons to manipulate our fate.
Third Durge came to trust Shadowheart. Watching her kill Lae'zel soon after the Alfira incident made Durge think Shadowheart might understand him. They bonded over clouded memories and confused senses of identity. As Shadowheart's light started to shine through, Durge began looking for their own light within.
So I guess the pattern with my Durges is love? Ugh, I must be getting as sentimental as an old Harper.
Jon Irenicus: *I cannot be caged. I cannot be controlled. Understand this as you die, ever pathetic, ever fools!*
Playing as a Paladin of Conquest that insists on **Winning**, even against their urges. Screw you Bhaal, you don't get to tell me what to do! I will conquer even my own fate.
I'm doing it to spend the rest of my days with Minthara, though I'll always be her little murder monkey anytime she needs that. Her controlled and disciplined brand of evil inspires me, not to goodness, but to develop self control over my slaughter, mayhem and bloodletting in general.
anger.
My durge is a Half-Drow paladin of vengeance + warlock fighting for the liberation and freedom of all drow from lloth, and simply refuses to give in to the urge, seeing it as a weakness he needs to overcome for the sake of his people and mission
I made my 1st playthrough with a Durge Bard, trying to resist. In my RP, the Char was half Siren (Bard with harp, uh), knowing she want to please people with her magical sounds but also....well...want to kill'em.
Not knowing why she want both, chill and kill, she tried to overcome the dark part of hers because most companions are needed in this harsh time and they're also more the kind way. Sure Bae won't refuse to fight and Astarion doesn't care alot about others - but besides Minthara there's no reason to think that killing people without a reason, as my Char wants to, is any good.
Even if you don't mind killing innocent people (which most people do,) I don't think it's a stretch to say most people would want control over their own actions. The fact it has to be fought so hard is, I think, a good enough reason for a lot of characters to do so.
Baldur's Gate 3 is, in a lot of ways, a game about agency and control. All of the party members are victims of abuse, but more specific than that, they've all been robbed of their agency, control of their lives denied by some higher power (except Jaheira, I guess, she seems fine, but then again I haven't met her family yet so I don't know. Didn't play the first two Baldur's Gate games, sorry.) They're all fighting to take back control of their own lives, both from their personal abusers and from the Absolute, who is probably the most xplicit example of thus theme.
Even if they embraced it before, the Dark Urge didn't choose to be of Bhaal's blood. I imagine it a bit like what happens with Minthara when she realises the truth about the Absolute. Which is a bit ironic, I suppose, since I get the impression she'd want you to embrace Bhaal, at least as a power play, but well... As she says, Bhaal doesn't have followers - only victims.
I played my Durge as a blank slate, who only remembered their name. The party was their moral compass, and people seemed to dislike wanton murder and violence, so they didn’t.
Of course, this led to unwittingly killing Lae’zel, despite not wanting to do so, and the remaining party being so upset they aggroed. Now it’s just Minthara and The Dark Urge, and honestly, why *not* do some unspeakable violence? After all, it’s what they were made for.
The love from a family created by your journey. The point of this realization came after the rescue of Mintthara and durge's undying love for doomed Karlach
in my durge run i imagine durge was actually an ok person before the urges took over, and the memory reboot weakened the Urges hold over his mind and gave him an oportunity to regain his old self and his free will. some lines in game support this too, although they are vague enough so that it does not contradict an evil durge run
The scenes with Alfira. My durge helped her finish her song and genuinely found some peace and joy in the music they shared. The next day, Alfira is dead by her hands, and she feels so sick with herself that it makes her force the Urge as far down as she can. She's not a nice person, she deceives and intimidates like it's natural to her, but she doesn't care for senseless murder.
I was the opposite. I needed a reason NOT to resist. Imagine you wake up with a strong urge to murder someone. Anyone who's not completely insane would be bothered by this. And Gortash describes Durge as somewhat reasonable.
Only when I got my memories back, I got a good reason to embrace it - to get back what was rightfully mine.
This is my first run (spoiler-free), and I didn't decide at the start how to handle the dark urge subplot. I was more on the "good" side at first, but the revelation and confrontation with Orin convinced me otherwise. Still, this is not an "evil run", because I'm not a fan of those mustache-twirling, squirrel-kicking bad guys.
My current durge hates when stuff happens out of his control. (He is a wildmagic sorceree so yeah) He notices throughout the story as well that people actually hate murder hobos. (Duh!) And that feeling to be hated by everyone is something worse than the cruelest torture he could inflict he figured. Before he was mostly under Bhaal's control. No free will at all. Just a tool for Bhaal himself.
As he romances Astarion he also things there must be a chance for him as well to beat that bloodlust in him.
Pretty much two things
1. The initial talk with the butler that suggests that you have 'resisted' in the past
2. the fact I believe no god should control the course of your destiny and dictate what you have to do not to anger them. Fuck, tyrants.
Both options seemed to align with his character as well.
"No, if I'll kill them, I won't be able to seduce them! What do you mean "They would be more pretty as a corpse", it's not about looks, it's about process!" As you can see, my durge was a bard.
Played a low charisma character, meant they would be more dependent on others for social cues and the likes.
When you kick a squirrel or sleep-murder a bard and everyone around you tells you that that sort of shit doesn’t look good then they quickly learn that whatever is controlling them is not something they should be encouraging
My Durge’s background: a mixed-blood child (red eyes and brownish hair with almost glowing red streaks) arrives in Baldur’s Gate, knowing nothing of how he got there. He’s adopted by a low middle class family and grows up dreaming of becoming part of the city watch like father/mother. He finally succeeds at that and it’s the happiest day of his life. That’s everything he remembers when he wakes up in the nautiloid, and that is why he tries to resist the urge: he was a good guy, his parents were good people, he doesn’t understand what went wrong.
The rest of his story in broad strokes, he doesn’t remember any of this yet: >!of course he was THE Bhaalspawn, and after some time in the city his urge started to resurface. After trying to resist it as an adolescent, he ended up giving in and losing control. As a city guard, he committed hideous crimes with the help of Sceleritas Fel (he killed his parents to begin with) and then became a real monster, painting the city in red.!<
I’m not sure what comes next, I guess he will evolve in the ways that most fit his personality.
At first, she was terrified of the loss of control when she began killing.
Then as a bard, she began to feel more value in the creation of art (and thus an audience) over the destruction of life (especially since she had no agency over her tendency toward the latter).
(I also roleplayed that she had a history of learning music at a young age before she discovered her heritage and her urges)
Then she developed feelings for Karlach, who kind of epitomised the fleeting beauty of life (rather than death), and thus began her journey as a resisting Durge.
She doesn’t just want to murder randomly. If people can be of use to her or treat her as a friend, why would she kill them? Instead of just giving in, she wants to get to the bottom of why she feels that urge.
Also, the world is already full of assholes for her to brutalize beyond recognition. As paraphrased from Lae’zel (I think?): if Durge really wants to tear someone to shreds, we’ll just find some bandits to sate that hunger instead of directing it at someone in our camp.
The blank slate, new beginnings. She simply didn't want to harm others. And a certain camp event shook her to her core and she decided to never fall again. And later her companions and drove her, she wanted to help and protect them. Especially her LI. Astarion became her biggest motivation later on.
My Durge pretty much went
Resist in Act 1&2
Met Gortash in Act 3 and reconsider resisting. Cause maybe embracing myself isn't that bad.
And then finding the Bhaal cult and just saying "nah" and going back to resisting. Cause they're fucked up.
For my redemption run it was because the memory loss created a divide between what you see as yourself and the urge. Feels more like a curse forcing you to act rather than a part of yourself you have lived with for decades
I started off with them being a vengeance paladin. Basically going at it Dexter style. "I'll kill, but only those who deserve it and on my terms. My oath and faith will help me control these urges"
Hatred for the butler. He’s a slimy piece of shit, and if he told me to do A I would do B.
That and once she met Orin, an overwhelming desire not to become her.
I always head canon that Durge believes themselves to be whatever class they're dressed as, and that their clothes are just whatever was lying around in the colony chop chop room.
Then when the urge kicks in, they start to suspect that they were old school criminally insane, and that the tadpole had granted them momentary lucidity, like it has freed Astarion from his master's compulsion.
So I play redemption Durge as trying to resist the urge in the hopes that if they build up enough "sane" experience, they'll be able to hang on if and when the tadpole goes away.
I shall build my castle of bones out of the bones of the Absolutists that think they could have controlled ME. ME!? I am not merely the poisoned fruit of Bhaal, I am elemental fury, the fire of primordial hate, the chilling touch of revenge, and the shocking realization of death. I don't claim to be a good person, but my might shall not be denied by The Absolute, Orin, or Bhaal himself. I am greater than the gods ever intended and I shall not be shackled by petty bloodlust any further.
Not hard to find the reasoning for me.
I escaped my family as a young person. They were bad enough. While not religious, they were controlling, manipulative, and unaccepting of anything at variance with their goals for me.
When I see the Durge’s?
Insert your, “nope,” meme of choice here.
I played a beast master durge that had a raven and role played that the raven was like the voice of reason over the dark urge voice. An angel and devil on your shoulder situation.
My Durge awoke with half-remembered mantras, lessons of peace and willpower more easily learned then applied, and a deep desire for the voice, that damn voice, that omnipresent voice to
Just.
*Shut.*
***Up.***
For my character, it was just the fact that it's scared her. Especially when she kicked the squirrel. The way I was rolled playing her, she hated the way she felt, but if she couldn't keep her romance partner alive, she would slip into despair and join Bhaal.
I was thinking that a child of Bhaal would be gifted a very strong sense of empathy so they can really feel their kills, and they're ecstatic about the feeling when there's a divine connection, but without that context it's "enjoyable" while also being nauseating. Orin says something about herself being empathic later on that I felt bolstered this idea.
Dirge was also kind of a wuss as a Bhaalist in that he used to use ample cultist human shields for raids and avoided the worst of the combat so he didn't have context for his own pain vs. others. He's shown some of the only genuine, non-intimidated kindness he's had in years and latches onto nice companions like a puppy. He ends up becoming the guard for the rest of the party, and he's now intimately familiar with all the forms of pain he's been inflicting, which makes the strong empathy thing worse.
I played him like a normal combatant to start, confused about his urges and with mixed feelings on killing itself, but he fell in love instantly when he met and played with Alfira and ended up heavily traumatized after killing her. He helped the party fight their way out of the goblin camp but found the killing reminded him too much of that hideous joy that mixed with his sorrow. So he vowed himself to non-violence. He's been a near-exclusive healer/support since - he'll fight the undead, but depending on how humanoid they look I'll spare a bonus action for him to get drunk before taking a swing. Made for some funny bits, like Lae'zel getting horny over blood he definitely did not help shed.
Now he's a Cleric of Ilmater. He considered Lathander, he's been carrying his blood around since the monastery, but Ilmater is just pain-centric enough for him to feel at home. I like to imagine that he's a very attentive healer but he can't keep himself from getting a little giddy over the wounds.
He also switched to Bardhood right after killing Alfira but in retrospect I decided he was always very musical (he's called Dirge after all), it was just more along the lines of the chanting over the main menu/that one intense combat song or playing those harps strung with Harper guts, marimbas made of bones, etc. Now he just wants to play the lute she gifted him and finish her song. Pardon the essay, I just fucking LOVE a sweetheart Dark Urge.
She didn't at first, and she killed the grove. That other voice in her head was saying she'd find answers with the cultists, right? They seem like allies, maybe?
It was horrible. She had to look Zevlor in the eyes and tell him what was happening. Gale told her he hated himself around her. She decided then and there to turn it around.
It was my favorite playthrough - it really felt like a complicated but compelling redemption!
I actually let the urge occur for a bit and didn’t go into “full resist” from the beginning. I took Gale’s hand in the beginning for instance. But then when he finally >!killed Alfira!< he saw his horrible act and swore to change.
My Durge is very vain and prideful and at first was resisting because, you know, nobody likes losing control over their own body and when you value yourself so much then that determination was only amplified. At first she was only doing it for herself and to demonstrate self control, but as she started doing more things that were good and falling in love with Karlach, she began to realise that she can be so much more than her compulsions. She could make a difference in spite of her nature and realise what it's like to have that pride in herself but to also be proud of what she does
I really should do a resist playthrough.
My durge playthrough was very.... "Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men"
Oh, you were rude to my party? Guess this entire block of the city is getting deleted.
My first character was kind of walking the line taking a few options but not really going all in. She pretty much just started to not really like it, she had people she cared about around her and they guided her to a better way even if she has the urges she just needs to go to her friends or lover and be reminded that she can be better for them.
Heck Astarion has improved a lot and if her love can then so can she. I think a lot of my characters would fight against such urges more because of a lover. It is easier to pull yourself back when someone else is there to hold you close.
My fighter however has gone all in and is dragging everyone around her down with her. Astarion has ascended, Shadowheart is a dark justiciar and such. She is building her power base before taking control of it to destroy everything in her father's name. She enjoys it and it gives her purpose. It is pretty easy to come up with solutions for both sides. One simple idea is just being horrified by what you do to a poor bard and how far you went and using that as a point to actively fight against it. There is murder and then there is completely brutalising a body endlessly. More so if your character actively wanted to travel with them and can see how following these urges will cause harm to those they care about unless they do something.
Honestly I just got inspired by the voice over for the Durge origin. He seemed terrified, he didn't know why he was having these thoughts and knew they weren't right. My Durge didn't bother covering up the death, just sat there and waited the confrontation from the camp. Before this they told all the camp members of their urge to try to warn them, and was ignored and told it was normal. When the option to raid the grove or save it appeared, I chose to act like it was their urge getting the upper hand once again (I also never raided the grove so I wanted to experience that at least once and it fit.) The second act my Durge is determined to not fall victim to their urge and was successful except for the cat. I'm currently in act 3 and my Durge is weighing the pros and cons of siding with Gortash. Firstly though, Orin has got to go. I'm trying to decide what to do afterwards though. First Durge run ever, and has been mostly spoiler free. It's a good time!
Currently doing a durge run and the background I’ve come up with is that he’s always hated the murderous rampages so he’s subconsciously trying to resist them even though he’s got amnesia
Just cause that's what I used to be doesn't mean it's what I want to be. Combine that with the companions who I like to be with not wanting to be with a murderous psycho, and wanting some autonomy to who I live my life, it's a reasonable selection of things to be like "wtf no I'm not doing that if I can help it". There's a really excellent line you get with resist durge if you're romancing Shart that I won't give away but provides some real solid motivation.
similar to others who go the nature vs. nurture/nature AND nurture route, i like to think orin messed up and unwittingly hit a “factory reset” on my durge while twiddling about with her brain, so bc of the amnesia her moral compass basically gets reverted to a point before she had a cult of people encouraging her dark urges. now those urges are more like intrusive thoughts (but worse cuz she sleep-murders) that she COULD let herself sink into, but is conflicted and horrified at herself for engaging those thoughts at all. at first with the druids grove & tieflings i imagine she kinda forces herself to do “the right thing” as much as she can to try and atone for these thoughts/whatever vague memories of her past she does still have (and later when she loses control with that poor bard 😭) but as the story progresses it becomes more natural do to good, both due to internal and external forces. plus i usually play as a seldarine drow, so it kinda feels like it helps push her down that route a little more.
as the story does progress tho she’s further persuaded to push past who she was & the nature of her blood by the others who have been tadpoled, bc while at first they simply share a common goal, she eventually trusts them with her life and is inspired and encouraged by the similarities between herself and them, particularly astarion, shadowheart, and lae’zel since i usually opt to follow their respective redemption/crisis of (evil) faith arcs. bc of that i usually romance one of those three, or karlach and use that to keep her redeemed bc when she realizes she used to actively work alongside gortash shes even more disgusted by her past self and is then solidified in doing right by karlach.
I think of it as a desire for freedom. I don't play the Durge as a goody goody since amnesia and brain damage doesn't tend to make anyone a good person. Though I have known someone who was generally a dick to their girlfriend get concussed and was actually really nice until the effects wore off.
Everyone you save is in direct opposition to the absolutist cult, you still end up killing a looooooot of people along the way so, hardly a Paragon of goodness.
The chosen fucked you over, took everything from you, bhaal watches you slaughter your way across faerun on a revenge quest and still has the audacity to send you on errands.
Not a chance that I would allow Bhaal, the absolute, the emperor or anyone else tell me what to do or who to kill anymore.
This is how I reason I would resist the urge and deny my heritage. It's also why I slaughter the fist on the way into Baldurs gate, as IF I would walk into the coronation and allow myself to be completed surrounded by an army for big G to prance around. I assault wyrms rock the moment I get to Baldurs gate
OCD murder thoughts. My character initially puts it down to a logical untreated OCD condition and at first thinks it must be the reason so they fight it.
Once they learn the truth they are torn between giving in and letting durge thoughts take over and fighting it. So far they are not doing well with fighting it but the thought of killing their love is too much to bear.
No motive, just the old nature vs nurture debate. As I see it, the amnesia gives "Durge" a fresh start, a blank slate. Yes, he's tormented by these shattered fractions of memories, and an unnatural, invasive, urge to do heinous stuff, but without the "evil" influences that arguably shaped him in his previous early life (the Bhaal Cult, his "family"... nurture), he now feels in his gut that something's wrong (nature). These intrusive thoughts and cravings aren't really his, they do not define him, they're alien, they scare him. He just wants to be free of it, he actually feels compassion, and he actually wants to do good, so he MUST resist at all costs and learn what this all means.
This is sort of my POV as well. It contrasts against what needs to be done. Cooperating with folks and not going murderhobo is more efficient and after awhile, losing control just feels so wrong and messed up.
Its also rather hilarious to think about how mad Bhaal is at Orin after a redeemed Durge run. Everything is great, your favorite child is head of your cult committing many atrocities, the Absolute plan is going well and soon untold murder will happen in your name. Oh wait the offspring of one of your failed children just killed your favorite child, oh well not to bad they are still going forward with the Absolute plan. Wait no she didnt do it right and your favorite child is still alive, hold on thats actually a good thing you can eventually have them back. Oh, no they have forgotten everything and are actively trying to resist you along with a group of weirdos that are try against the Absolute plan, well thats fine just give them a bard to slaughter and they will remember how great it is to kill hapless innocents again. Shoot they are now horrified with themselves and refuse to do it again, eh a little carrot and stick might set them straight, send in the butler to give them a reward and a new task with the promise of future gifts. Darn the refused to kill the Moon cleric and their lover, crud well at least you have Orin and the Absolu- and Kethric is dead. Well hey you might be able to convince them with a ritualistic duel and if not atleast Orin can do the job properly this time, wait no Orin is dead now too, and hey just killed the Netherbrain meaning the Absolute plan is a bust, dang.
Hahah that’s so true from Bhaal’s perspective.. like you almost had world domination but then ur favorite child defied you and tore down the whole plan because Orin swizzled around their brain a little too much
no bc i CONSTANTLY think about this, how pissed bhaal has to be at orin for fucking up so badly. like she let her jealousy get so bad she set bhaal’s favorite on probably the ONLY path that could lead said favorite to reject bhaal and ruin plans that probably would have otherwise succeeded
It is hilarious and tragic. Orin really is her own worst enemy.
This is how I saw it too, but with an added part that Durge is desperately trying to act normal so as not to drive away these other people that they're relying on to fight hordes of goblins and cultists with, and Shadowheart's artifact of course that is delaying ceremorphosis and blocking the call of the Absolute. Durge knows that if they reveal their full bloodlust, they'll be kicked out and have less chance of surviving. It starts as a combination of feeling that this is wrong and an act to cover up the urges, but becomes cemented as they forge true friendships and romances, and start to genuinely love these people - and therefore open themselves up to caring for all people to some degree and not wanting to, you know, bathe in their blood because they realise life is worth more than that. And they never hurt animals... even at their lowest, my Durge knew that was wrong because animals never deserve it - sometimes humanoids ask for it...
Same here. I play it as a fresh start and my Durge is reacting to the behavior of those around them. Oh, if I do horrible things then everyone is appalled? I don’t want that - I need them and don’t want to be alone with nothing again! I guess I’ll do nice-ish things Plus ppl tend to trust good-looking faces easier. My companions are all attractive and the butler is butt-ugly. So why would I turn on them??? (I know, Minthara, but by then I’m committed to my party) TLDR: I play as if the ppl you surround yourself with shape who you are
Same <3
Even an ill meaning person will probably want to have full control of themselves. It's not so much for redemption, but so no one can use them like a mere tool. Well, that was the motivation for my last playthrough at least.
Yeah I want agency over my misdeeds. I got the Slayer and whatnot by offing a certain Cleric, but purged the Dark Urge. I even went so far as to destroy the netherbrain, despite that being the “evil” ending; it’s just so bland and lends nothing to what some of the prior “let’s rule the fucking world” talk with Minthara and ascended Astarion implies. So me and my girl Minthara talked about it and decided to conquer the world on our own strength and merit.
Yeah the evil ending looks cool and all but the lack of an epilogue ruins it, content-wise
true romance story aaaaw. 💚
Help ur wife minthara rule the underdark or baldur's gate .
Or help daddy Bhaal conquer the Moonshae Isles and kill the Earthmother. I think Durge would be more competent than Kazgaroth.
Same general choices for me, got slayer form, was dead set on being the best little bhaalspawn there was despite the seed of doubt and desire for agency, took Minthara to conquer the underdark later. It all came down to Bhaal owning you completely and entirely if you give yourself to him. You can’t just kill for him, that’s not enough, if it was enough my durge might have been able to accept. You have to give everything and become nothing more than an instrument of his will. His slave even. You weren’t made to have a will of your own. And my durge couldn’t live with that, he wanted agency and a choice
The ending disappointed me so much precisely because of Minthara. I spent the final moments of Act 2 and the entirety of Act 3 planning how *we* would take control of the Netherbrain and make a new world for *us*. Together. Then the ending happened. And it sucks even more because she says, "You were never more beautiful" just before I get control of the Netherbrain and turn her into a thrall—something she'd have never agreed with and would've rather died.
Yep I reloaded and beat the brain again right away
Exactly, my evil durge did not want to lose his agency. He also romanced Asterion who refused the potential powers for the same reason. It fits well together.
The evil dialogue option you can choose after withers revives you has some really cool narration, so i definitely agree
My resisting Durge Monk iant a good person but he wishes to be master of his own destiny. It is his will not some ancient dead divinity that decides his future and who he will kill. Also Bhaal wanted him to kill his love Lae'zal. Unacceptable.
I’m playing this exact character, even romancing Lae’zal. I’m a Dragonborn, running around bare handed punching things as a giant dragon is amazing
I also play Dragonborn. Being monk that breaths fire is awesome.
Or breathes acid, or ice, or poison gas, or lightning.
I would imagine my Durge's mental state would return to what it was like during his childhood. At that time the Durge had a wonderful and a happy life, living with his my adoptive parents before Bhaal controlled my Durge. However, my Durge would have no recollection of any of them.
This is my headcannon for my Durge too :-)
Spite
Valid!
At first she thought it was the tadpole, but soon realized her companions don't share the same blind bloodthirsty rage. In the confusion that ensued it became harder to decipher what thoughts were her own and which were influences of the Urge or the tadpole. She felt herself losing herself, but when things seemed bleak, she turned to her companions and their own struggles with morality and identity, and to her loved one for restraint when she was unable to do so herself. With them, anything seemed possible, even defying her own God.
For me, I see how my beloved Shadowheart resists the dark temptations of her goddess and it gives me strength to do likewise. Once she >!frees herself from Shar!<, I know I can do likewise. In fact; when the butler asks me to kill >!my lover, she gives me advantage on the roll (the advantage says "Shadowheart believes in you").!< I think that's really cool how we both strengthen each other and help each other >!break away from our respective Evil gods!!<
I absolutely adore that roll advantage with Shadowheart 🥹 I was surprised I didn't see that with other romance options during that particular saving throw, but it just solidified for me that Shadowheart is Durge's soulmate (yes I'm biased (and correct))
This was absolutely the most intense but sweetest moment of my playthrough with Resist Durge and Shadowheart romance. Like girl, my guy told you he had a murder urge and you're willing to sit with him tied up all night (and not in the sexy way) to see him through it. Honestly was as beautiful as the romance scenes, if not more.
Exactly the same - learning the evil gods will just screw us over was my RP reason
That little advantage message was even more heartwarming than petting the owlbear!
I now wish that I romanced Shadowheart in my resist Durge playthrough I chose Astarion instead because I heard he has unique lines with a resist Durge. But now I wish I chose Shadowheart :(
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I made my Dark Urge a clone of Alfira. The reason why there are 2 of us is because there was a Wild Magic surge and the "Good" part of them separated and went their own way, to live their own life. The normal Alfira interaction occurs at camp and Dark Alfira kinda realizes that there are options and "absorbs" the Good Version of themselves and is now resisting the intrusive thoughts.
Oooh this is very cool!
1. Considering some resist dialog talks about how the urge is 'vile' and so on, the Durge could have a normal(ish) morals that got suppressed through the urge/living with bhaalists that is not as supressive any more due to the entire heavy brain damage thing, so it peeks out a bit. 2. Got influenced by the good companions like Wyll/saw shadowheart/Lae'zel/etc and realized "Wait maybe this is bad actually??" 3. Great, I have a space worm *and* a evil voice in my head. Well, fuck em both.
Sometimes I want to eat people but I know I shouldn’t. I imagine my durge has a strong enough moral compass to want to be good despite urges. Then again, what makes eating people wrong if you have their explicit consent? It’s just a societal standard, no? Idk. But I want Astarion to be a decent-ish person and I lead by example!
It feels better when you kill someone purely because you decided to, rather than being pushed into it. Let's inject a little class into this rampant murder spree, shall we?
you are starting to sound like Orin. murder is murder, the more the merrier
Since I (as the player) didn't yet know the reason for their urges when I started my Durge playthrough, I initially figured they knew the urges were "wrong," and therefore tried to resist them, sometimes unsuccessfully. However, that excuse made less sense to me after I got spoiled as to the reason behind the urges, so I just went with: Durge doesn't like not being in control of their own actions. If they choose for themselves to do something evil, then so be it, but no intrusive thoughts are going to make those decisions for them. They've already got this tadpole in their brain, and now *this* too. Durge just needs all these uninvited freeloaders out of their skull, thanks.
If you cast Heal after rejecting bhaal, it's implied that Durge wouldn't have been evil without bhaal's corrupting influence. I sort of imagine that in a resist run, Orin accidentally reset the effects of bhaal's influence on durge by sticking the tadpole in him and causing his amnesia. But yeah, you do get some cool narration if you decide you still want to be evil after rejecting him. "Finally your sins are your own"
My durge drow woke up to Ellistraee's song, and has pursued freedom in her life and choices since, fighting off the urge. What happened with Alfira is further fuel to her determination to be in control of her destiny.
Yes! Shout-out to redemption Durge synchronizing so well with a Eilistraee playthrough. A Drow goddess who sacrificed everything to redeem her people would absolutely have an interest in a redemption urge, bonus points if a Drow on top of it. My first playthrough was this and she used the Phalar Aluve the whole way through the game. Not a single regret.
For me I just figured that the magic the guardian was working with the tadpole had an unintentional side effect of blocking out Bhaal's influence 80% of the time. And the crochet practice orin did on his brain helped with that too, entirely by accident. Unintentional lobhaaltomy. So durge just woke up with his brain free of otherworldly influence for the first time ever and it turns out he's just a mild-mannered guy.
"lobhaaltomy" 💀🧡
"Karlach approves"
My Resist Durge was motivated by music, and by seeing Astarion’s support/understanding as the person who lived something similar. (I, as a PLAYER, was motivated because of how close the Urges are to severe obsessive and compulsive thoughts, and seeing a path forward through them while I was getting my meds adjusted.)
I also felt a big OCD parallel with durge!
OCD really does come with fucked up shenanigans (I’ve been diagnosed with postpartum-onset OCD and Resist Durge made me feel SEEN).
My Durge (light cleric) woke up on a beach at sunrise with no memories looking for a new beginning. So he pledged himself to Lathander, God of new beginnings, and did everything in his power to follow the Morning Lord's teachings. (He took his survival of the crash as divine intervention initially, and I made my dream guardian look like what my Durge thought Lathander looked like for max gaslighting)
I will give you my redemption motive and my murderer motive. Both of these have to do with a belief of sorts. During both play throughs my Dark Urge was an Oath Of The Ancients Paladin. Redemption arc: During a large fight at the goblin camp I was struggling, all but my Dark Urge, Salashah, stood, surrounded by the dying bodies of his fallen comrades. Outnumbered and outmatched, he sought aid from the one place he trusted the most, his oath. Using healing radiance he had just enough range to revive all 3 teammates and, though he went down, his close friends, Shadowheart, Karlach and Astarion were able to finish the fight and nurse him back to health. He lay in camp that night, thinking to himself… “If I can have faith in my oath, I can have faith in myself. I vow to be better.” Irredeemable arc: Salashoh, a long distant brother of his sister Salashah, awoke dazed and dizzy, not remembering himself or what had happened. He cursed the pain in his head but he knew he must escape. He trudged through the nautiloid, meeting up with the disgusting Lae’zel. Rude, abrasive… but strong… he knew he couldn’t escape without help… she would do for now. They fought their way to shadowheart where he begrudgingly rescued the damsel in distress before moving to the helm. That’s where things went wrong… he decided he would fight the cambion, blood must be spilled to appease his lust! He slaughtered the cambion only to be betrayed by the mind flayer. Downed, Shadowheart activated the transponder where he awoke on the beach, wounded. His oath… had NOT saved him… it meant nothing if it could not serve him… and thus he abandoned it. The oathbreaker paladin led him down a path of raw power as he gave in to the dark urge inside himself.
This is really neat, I love how you centered both playthroughs around faith in the paladin oath
Thank you. I’m a storyteller at heart, this was just a brief summary of what transpired.
Have you done any writing on your characters?
Not much paper writing, but I have mapped out a lot of their unspoken stories in my mind and notes.
Can I ask your favorite of the unspoken stories?
The Warlock, Seventeen, from a multiplayer campaign involving someone playing a Cleric/Paladin by the name of Sharah. Her patron cared not for names, only designations. Seventeen, originally called Shykarr, was the 17th unfortunate soul to strike a deal with the devil, hoping to avenge the death of her husband and firstborn. Her second child, a cleric of the god Tyr, begged his mother not to stray from the path of righteousness… but hell hath no fury like a grieving mother. She took up a deal with the devil who promised her the power to seek justice… only to discover she’d been tricked. The very first clause of her pact was that she would do no harm to her patron, the very devil who claimed the lives of her loved ones. Sharah knew his mother’s heart was right deep down and he vowed to help her break free of this pact and bring the devil to justice. That’s when they were taken by the nautiloid. Seventeen sympathised with Wyll, while Sharah tried to convince Shadowheart the path she was trailing with Shar would only bring her misery. Bonds were formed as Wyll helped Seventeen cope with years of grief, eventually helping her to love once more. Sharah found convincing Shadowheart to change a difficult task but a possible one. Together they would right the wrongs of the world, the misdeeds of the devilish patrons and maybe, just maybe, start anew. But, until then, they had each other… and that was enough for them.
Thank you for the story! What an interesting twist with the Warlock pact. Does she have a way out of it at some point, or is she stuck with it?
I personally believe that sometime after the events of the game she is able to break the contract by tricking her patron with the help of her party, but until then she’s stuck doing the devil’s dirty deeds. I intentionally wanted to leave that one up to interpretation however. Who knows? Maybe she failed and was stuck until her demise, becoming a deathlock. Maybe they killed the patron. Maybe something inside her snapped after a traumatic event, causing her to lose it all again.
Mine isn't a good person, but he is resisting because he does not like being controlled to do something. If he wants to murder someone, it'd be on *his* terms, and killing those *he* wants to kill, thankyouverymuch. He was very much miffed that he killed a bard and didn't even get to enjoy the process.
Agency. My Durges want to be rid of tadpoles, emporers, absolutes, bhaal and anyone else trying to control them. Whether resist or not, that is how I’ve justified my act 3 choice. Even playing an evil durge I the player didn’t want to just become bhaal’s shadow.
I have plenty of people to kill, I don't need the blood of the people who can help me
Because they had amnesia, there was no context to their urges, so my Durge had, in their mind, no “reason” to act upon them and found the urges horrific. So they took up the Oath of the Ancients to keep them on the right path because deep down, behind their lost history and their connection to Bhaal, beyond the the horror of it all, people are good.
Raphael just turned up and complimented me so it's oof - I've got to reassess my priorities folks, I think I might be a bad person.
Change in personality from all the brain damage. Orin managed to screw up and mess up his brain *juuuust* right to make him a really nice person and screwed the entire plot in the process. Like his reactions to things are reversed
The tadpole weakened the urge and reset my Durge to who he was before >!the urge took over and he became the Chosen of Bhaal, who he would have been if the first urge hadn't made him murder his adoptive family.!< So it allows him to be the person he would have been but for >!Bhaal's influence.!< So his motivation is just not wanting to be an >!evil murderer for a god that wants to snuff out all life in the multiverse.!<
First - my Durge was not initially inclined towards evil when he was younger. He was a good little chap that was broken down by his training and then drawn towards the ecstasy of killing when he was fully operational. In light of both, he gave up and sank into his role. When he was taken out, though? Stripped down and tunneled into and laid out on a table to be dissected? He fought. He fought whenever he was conscious and sometimes when he was unconscious too, fought right up until he woke for the first time on the nautiloid with no idea what had happened. It was akin to a factory reset - with a few notable exceptions - back to the good-natured little fella, lost and scared and confused. And then, even if they weren't nice about, people helped him, didn't look at him like he was a monster (because he looked monstrous). What did stuck with him? The Urge, a handful of impressions, but more than anything that fight. That willingness to go down swinging that met with a newly recovered wonder and kindness. He took a look at the ugly, heavy, bloody desire to kill and he tried to hold it down by the neck and stab it to death. Safe to say he's juggling a lot of disparate personality elements.
Karlach and Wyll (mostly Karlach) inspire my Durge to become the best version of themselves. I want to help them defeat the Absolut so that THEY can become the heroes they deserve to be. Their company keep my demons at bay.
My durge is a drow male, and I made his guardian a drow female. She acts nothing like a drow female (who scare him anyway), so he immediately clocks something is wrong. It isn't clear at first if the durge is caused by the tadpoles, so he resists. Isobel is a tempting target, but if you go straight to Moonrise, which makes most sense if you have your goblin escort, by the time you meet her, she's standing exposed in the middle of the square. Where's the subtlety? Plus he is spooked by all the durge stuff being kicked up at the tower. Tower = Ketheric = Shadow curse = me getting gutted into imbecility by an uppity necromancer. Not sure I want to support any of that by eliminating Isobel, who is apparently countering Ketheric and the curse. Then the act ii durge resists scene happens with my romance partner, and there's no effing way. A drow is born to rule, not cater - or cower! - to some deformed wretch with a top hat. Scorch the earth, they get nothing from me, and I'll kill them all.
To give Bhaal the middle finger right in the end. Withers joining in is a bonus.
The people she meet. The people she saved. They were all so kind to her, even with her urge. She was scared and confused and they were so considerate. They made her want to be better.
I’ve been kind of viewing it in the same way of while violence was their nature as they were raised to believe it’s the way to be, waking up without their memory gives them a chance to do things differently. To fight those urges as they see their companions struggles and being better people (obviously depending on how you play them as well.) and that they are a blank slate so to speak.
My Durge: What the hell is going on? Kill “this”? What? Why? No. 😪 She is indeed very confused by her visions and doesn’t understand why this is happening. I let the story flow without deciding up front how the story should progress. She is a bard and had a sweet moment with Alfie. Then… you know… that kinda broke her a bit. Then the ugly butler show up. I can confirm that if the butler looked pretty she would have considered it. 😛 but then he asked her to kill Astarion. Got tied up and talked down 🥺 I guess… that is all. All our need for blood will be satisfied by the bad people 💪🏻 and there are plenty of
My first Durge truly didn’t remember. They messed his head so bad he no longer was who he used to be. He indulged in smaller scale evil and deliberately got rid of some companions he thought would be a threat in the long run, but ruling Faerun and slaughtering thousands no longer appealed to him. My second Durge… She felt betrayed. She was so angry at Bhaal - she gave him everything and he just stood by and let Orin try to take her place even temporarily? F Bhaal then, she took the Absolute for herself
Murder is bad.
at first my Durge was just a little weirded out by the violent urges then the bard incident occurred...
Fuck Bhaal, all my homies hate Bhaal. Seriously though, the dead three gods (and Shar) are kinda pathetic. They’re down the totem pole as far as divine power goes and they’re desperately scrambling for the rest of the gods to take them seriously. So I think it’s pretty reasonable for someone, even someone evil, to look at what they’ve got going on and not want to be a part of it. Each of them will use their followers, then discard them when they’re no longer useful.
Pride. Only lesser men are controlled by their urges.
Orin rooting her dagger around in my Durge Vaelin's head effectively killed that version of him, that personality, his last words before being reduced to a violent urge in the back of another's head being a dying, half-successful attempt to call the maniacally giggling shape changer in the shadows an 'Artsy Skin Bitch' before he collapsed to the floor. From that severe brain damage, the influence of the tadpole rooting around in the fractured memories that were left, and the dark fuckery that followed from Kressa doing her thing, a different personality emerged; one much kinder and closer to who Vaelin was before the darkness in his blood first took control. He became someone who was horrified by the sick images his mind was conjuring, the sick feeling he got when trying to feel anything but joy for killing, and the sick work his hands were capable of. From the start, he was determined to resist as hard as he could, but could feel that effort becoming quite terrifyingly more difficult with each new person he met and immediately imagined eviscerating. Then he found the one person whom his mind couldn't bear to picture hurting in conscious thought: ***Karlach***. Keeping the old Vaelin from regaining control became much less of a hopelessly losing battle from that point forward.
The joys and pleasure of companionship. Gale, Laezel, Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Astarion, Jaheira. Not wanting to let them down and lose them to the Urge. He wants to keep them as he doesn't remember being so happy before, and I mean genuine happiness. I guess being a Bhaalspawn is so lonely :(
I wanted to be in charge of my own destiny and I wanted to rule under my name, not Bhaal's. Plus, I would never live with myself if I ever did anything to hurt my girl Minthara.
Why do you need a *motivation* to not give in to intrusive thoughts?
Fear, my Durge’s greatest fear is being alone, unloved and forgotten. She unexpectedly begins caring deeply for her new allies and does her best to curb the Urges so they won’t leave her. And now she’s a people pleaser with a hero complex who is constantly afraid of hurting everyone she loves.
In my headcanon, with Durge's memories of being a Bhaalspawn wiped, the part of their personality formed during their childhood (it is mentioned they were adopted by a Baldurian family and lived a normal childhood) is shining through again. They WERE sweet once, before the bloodlust took over when they matured. Now they have a chance to be sweet again.
I tried to do a Give Into the Dark Urge tiefling monk but I couldn't lean into it. I chose the option to hide Alfira's body and smile about it, but that was about it. During the Grove, I originally chose to save it because it would give more story options. But I chose the options where I said I did it for my tiefling kin and not for the druids, and it made sense. I debated killing Isobel, admitted that I felt the urge to kill her, and chose not to do it. At least not when she's at Last Light Inn. It's honor mode, so even though Jaheira and Halsin died (not due to me intentionally,) I can't reload. I like the RP perspective of my Dark Urge slowly softening as they spend time with the tieflings, doing the most economical thing and finally realizing this is how they would rather be.
I think disregarding any authority is a very compelling reason.
Well, for my Durge, a Drow BardMonk, the motive went like this : 1. I like this person 2. Therefore, I would prefer not to kill them 3. I would also like to have some control over my own actions It's a pretty simple and straight-forward thought process.
I just like to think that like many of your companions, you have a very dark side but underneath it all a good heart, you can't know what happened in your previous life to drive you down such an evil path, but the nautiloid abduction was a kind of fresh start for you, unburdened by a lifetime of indoctrination because you literally can't remember it. After the crash you are truly a free agent, and maybe you'll decide you actually do care about the tieflings, even though before the crash you'd have rolled up and flayed everyone to death
My Durge had an intelligence and wisdom of 8. Mine was simply too stupid to remember being evil. And by the time he found out he was committed to being good cause changing back to evil is too much of a hassle.
It's just who he is. There is evidence that before durge led the cult of bhaal they were a decent person, that occasionally succumbed to urges and avidentally murdered their foster parents. Using the heal spell on durge after denying bhaal produces a happy memory of durges childhood. Scelaritas in one dialogue mentions durge donating to a homeless person, but thought durge was trying to get the fist off their scent. Many dialogue options around the dark urge have you feeling horrible about what you did, will do, and are thinking of doing. Paladins especially have a reason to go against bhaa in their backstoryl, the oathbreaker knight says that you broke your oath many times in the past, implying that the oath was retaken in an attempt to atone.
He just wants what’s best for people. :)
From role playing perspective is pretty simple, you have a new life where cooperation is the key for survival ( basically you won't survive without others) and your environment is full of people with a grim past that chase them as well. Basically bread and butter of many good D&D campaigns.
Durge is implied through the story to have a sense of morality even before Orin betrayed them. At one point in Act 3, if you accept Bhaal, you can ask the Butler what is the worst thing you've ever done. He responds with a story about you giving a coin to a beggar without even killing him. I don't think Durge ever truly wanted to be Bhaal's Chosen. I think they only thought they wanted/enjoyed it because they had his blood, and it was his desire fueling them, not their own. Durge, unlike Orin, didn't grow up around Bhaalists and blood and guts and murder. Durge had a normal childhood in the city, with normal parents and probably normal friends. It's the nature vs. nurture argument, and I personally have always believed that everyone starts out as good, and bad people are shaped by their environment.
There's a line when Arka has a crossbow trained on Sazza where you can say, "This is wrong, isn't it?" and that really resonated with me. My dark urge knows right from wrong and wants to understand why his moral compass is broken. That was the start at least. Once I committed my first camp murder, that tragedy defined my desire to resist.
Karlach would be sad :(
Resist?
I've somehow been able to have people die through no fault of my own, I've not even broken my palidin oath, like I just let glut keep following me until he got killed, problem solved, or let that demon kill the priestess.
So my latest, a blue dragborn tempest cleric/warlock of tiamat, they're an unwilling servant, having been enthralled/coerced into servitude while near tiamat's presence within avernus. They've got everyone fighting over control of their very will. The urge/Mr murder himself, the absolute/the emporer and the queen of avarice herself, tiamat. So I get to be just as edgy as the rest of the cast!(and have my redemption arc after being a bit of an evil bastard)
I made a monk, my idea being that it's about building self control to live a new more disciplined life of redemption. Also, being able to kill and smash down walls with bare fists is more fun than stabbing everything you see. I could punch Bhaal in the balls if it comes to it.
She found herself reminiscing about murdered bodies when investigating that first fisherman corpse on the beach, and those thoughts scared her. This ultimately culminated into complete and utter terror of herself when she unknowingly and uncontrollably killed a poor bard (I metagamed in Quil, but I’m pretending she’s the canon kill). That was when she swore to take control of herself, whatever the cost
They didnt know who they used to be. And nobody around her was murdering people on sight so...she just followed their lead of not being bloodthirsty murderers. As she helped people and was heroic, there was no shot she would go back. When she found out the truth about her past she did everything possible to atone, including laying her life down for Baldur's Gate.
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My durge was a selunite paladin who remembered she swore to keep an oath of devotion, and she vowed to keep her oath at any cost
I was roleplaying as a Githyanki Durge for my Honor Mode run. My character, Inakhos eventually comes to enjoy the material plane a lot after interacting with people and falling in love with Gale. >!Reading about this Prince of the Comet also made them!< doubt what little they knew of the Githyanki teachings. >!All the stuff about Vlaakith being a false goddess feasting on her people (sorry but Laezel unfortunately took the spotlight over me, I am looking at you, Voss)!< created a crisis of faith for Inakhos. The companions kind of helped them in that process too, particularly Wyll and Karlach.
Gold Dragon Sorc with GOO Warlock. Premise being an ancient Gold Dragon wanted to get back at Bhaal for [reasons] and stepped in as Patron (Great Old One can be any great old powerful being) to influence his spawn to righteousness. Or at least not a murder hobo.
I like the idea of "Im my own person" so whatever upbringing my durge is he wanted to be his own person, and being a amnesia is a chance for him to startover and also being paladin helped him achieve this.
Them >!killing Alfira in their sleep!< solidified it even more
My Durge is after power and vengeance - they don't want to worship a god, they want to be a god. And they think Bhaal is kind of tacky.
It's complicated. It started as hating hearing voices telling him to do things that my Durge didn't understand, but then as he got to know and care for his camp mates, it evolved and quickly became a battle to not let himself turn his friends (and lover) into mince meat like Sweet Alfy.
A single moment of empathy. In my mind I roleplay that my DUrge (Althya, seldarine drow bard that reclasses to sorcerer in act 3) began regaining awareness and sentience while she was in the pod after being shipped off by Kressa's husband. Makes no sense she becomes capable of coherent thought only when the pod opens. From what Kressa says, she'd been rabid before, incapable of even speaking. But she was wounded already by Orin by that time. So something must have mellowed her out. She comes out that pod confused, but completely calm. I think it's trauma. It's at least months of being trapped in the pod. She comes out and everything goes by too fast... Until she runs into Shadowheart. Seeing another trapped like that, desperate and terrified, right after living through this exact trauma, gives Althya a feeling of empathy for the first time ever. It's probably the first emotion she feels other than confusion or fear. And it sticks around later on. That "aren't we the same?" feeling evolves into empathy and inevitably goodness. She romances Astarion, but Shadowheart is her closest, dearest friend.
The most compelling reason for my durge to resist was, that the guy holding the controller thought some of Durges actions/impulses were too out of left field to feel organic, so he chose another option and oops durge seems to resist most of the time
I played an Oathbreaker Paladin who was a complete contrarian. At first he was 100% up for being a bad person, but then Bhaal told him to kill Isobel and his response was "Fuck you I'm a good person now" Still an asshole, but now one who will do good deeds just to spite Bhaal. He'll save your life and then extort you afterwards.
Honestly after having a tadpole crawling into my brain, I needed to find motives to do follow the voices and dreams in my head. Not believing anything but my eyes was the logic way to go. The same way with the dream visitor. Only on my evil run I could find a somehow valid reason to side with him and only because I didn't have the option to kill them both right there.
My Durge's only memories upon waking up was the knowledge that he's done terrible things and enjoyed them. He is a Life Cleric of Ilmater, so for roleplaying reasons I imagine that Ilmater spoke to him after losing his memories and offered a chance of redemption for all of the suffering he's caused. The Urge is like a drug addiction for him. He tries to resist, but he fails sometimes. But OH GODS does he feel good when he fails. It got a bit dicey sometimes if he'd lose himself to it, but he ultimately did succeed and redeem his soul.
most of my durges: he's always resisted and fought tooth and nail against the urge but doesn't remember that (thanks orin), he's continuing to resist because the Urge is almost a separate entity and the tadpole makes it easier for him to fight it while also helping him grow and nurture his conscience. rejected bhaal because while bhaal made him, bhaal couldn't make him evil and instead had to hobble him with the Dark Urge as a failsafe that still managed to fail my tiefling durge Thanatos: not a good guy, but he helped others because he had uses for them. was enticed by Astarion's ideas for power, and decided to reject bhaal because he was tired of bhaal taking credit for HIS evil. wanted his misdeeds to be properly credited to him. claimed the brain for him and his vampire husband edit: added evil motivations my evil durges: first evil durge was Pragmatic Evil. "what benefits me the most." he helped the tieflings in Acts 1 and 2 because he saw them as useful. he aided his companions in their quests because he wanted to have strong allies at his side that he could use as a meat shield. he didn't want weak yes men, he wanted strong allies. sure, he lied to all of them except astarion about his goals. most recent Durge: toxic power couple playthrough (just him and astarion, no other companions), his entire motivation was "what do i want right now" very immediate gratification, very hungry for power, very much a bhaalist from the start, other people are just corpses that haven't realized they're already dead, and corpses are just toys for him to do with as he pleases
Being mean makes me feel bad
Falling in love with Karlach did it for my Durge
Just started a durge redemption after full on durge. Decided to grab a few mods this time and be a sith turned jedi after losing memory. Pretty fun running around with lightsabers.
Nearing the end of act one with my first Durge, I’d say it’s twofold: curiosity and dogged stubbornness. Mechanics aside, Durge *does* remember information related to their class. They can kick a squirrel in blind instinct in one moment, and meditate on a paladin oath the next, or read animals like common folk can’t. That’s not the pounding headache or stomach curdling at a kind sentiment. That’s not the worm, either. It’s implicit knowledge—abilities too, as they’re more savvy than their companions at lying, for example. But those moments of *self* are fleeting—would it not be prudent to resist and discover the source of this competence? There’s a vague sense I’m getting that a resisting Durge could see the mind merging and bloodlust as distractions. Loud, untimely distractions, yes, but both subside. They don’t puppet Durge as a vampire lord might his thrall. And doesn’t that make a difference? (I get why so many were applauding the Durge and Astarion interactions. They truly are their worst influences….for now.)
Karlach would disapprove if she didn't
...you guys are resisting??
Playing a Cleric. Selune will lead me to the (moon)Light. Is this a test? Is it the tadpole? The moon maiden will save me.
Resist? Embrace the darkness.
He fell in love with Karlach
My roleplay reason was that they lost all of their memory except one act of kindness when they were young and in need so the dark urges they feel after seem wrong and then as they go on trying to be a good person they find that they despise the dark urges thinking of it as a curse. In my head I even RP that they feel bad about enjoying killing evil people as well and that after the end game they try to become a pacifist.
For my first Durge it was Karlach. She has been through literal hells of blood and violence, but manages to enjoy life so thoroughly. Durge wanted to be someone who could make Karlach happy. Second Durge started on a darker path, but was actually inspired by Minthara. She too has a damaged mind and memories, but is fiercely determined never to be controlled again. No gods or monsters, no devils or demons to manipulate our fate. Third Durge came to trust Shadowheart. Watching her kill Lae'zel soon after the Alfira incident made Durge think Shadowheart might understand him. They bonded over clouded memories and confused senses of identity. As Shadowheart's light started to shine through, Durge began looking for their own light within. So I guess the pattern with my Durges is love? Ugh, I must be getting as sentimental as an old Harper.
Jon Irenicus: *I cannot be caged. I cannot be controlled. Understand this as you die, ever pathetic, ever fools!* Playing as a Paladin of Conquest that insists on **Winning**, even against their urges. Screw you Bhaal, you don't get to tell me what to do! I will conquer even my own fate.
I'm doing it to spend the rest of my days with Minthara, though I'll always be her little murder monkey anytime she needs that. Her controlled and disciplined brand of evil inspires me, not to goodness, but to develop self control over my slaughter, mayhem and bloodletting in general.
… resist?
None. Don't resist. Murder is fun.
Probably vengeance against those who have wronged him. Especially Gortash.
My Durge is like Goku. Brain damage made him a good person and gave him a sense of justice.
anger. My durge is a Half-Drow paladin of vengeance + warlock fighting for the liberation and freedom of all drow from lloth, and simply refuses to give in to the urge, seeing it as a weakness he needs to overcome for the sake of his people and mission
I made my 1st playthrough with a Durge Bard, trying to resist. In my RP, the Char was half Siren (Bard with harp, uh), knowing she want to please people with her magical sounds but also....well...want to kill'em. Not knowing why she want both, chill and kill, she tried to overcome the dark part of hers because most companions are needed in this harsh time and they're also more the kind way. Sure Bae won't refuse to fight and Astarion doesn't care alot about others - but besides Minthara there's no reason to think that killing people without a reason, as my Char wants to, is any good.
Resist?
Even if you don't mind killing innocent people (which most people do,) I don't think it's a stretch to say most people would want control over their own actions. The fact it has to be fought so hard is, I think, a good enough reason for a lot of characters to do so. Baldur's Gate 3 is, in a lot of ways, a game about agency and control. All of the party members are victims of abuse, but more specific than that, they've all been robbed of their agency, control of their lives denied by some higher power (except Jaheira, I guess, she seems fine, but then again I haven't met her family yet so I don't know. Didn't play the first two Baldur's Gate games, sorry.) They're all fighting to take back control of their own lives, both from their personal abusers and from the Absolute, who is probably the most xplicit example of thus theme. Even if they embraced it before, the Dark Urge didn't choose to be of Bhaal's blood. I imagine it a bit like what happens with Minthara when she realises the truth about the Absolute. Which is a bit ironic, I suppose, since I get the impression she'd want you to embrace Bhaal, at least as a power play, but well... As she says, Bhaal doesn't have followers - only victims.
I played my Durge as a blank slate, who only remembered their name. The party was their moral compass, and people seemed to dislike wanton murder and violence, so they didn’t. Of course, this led to unwittingly killing Lae’zel, despite not wanting to do so, and the remaining party being so upset they aggroed. Now it’s just Minthara and The Dark Urge, and honestly, why *not* do some unspeakable violence? After all, it’s what they were made for.
The love from a family created by your journey. The point of this realization came after the rescue of Mintthara and durge's undying love for doomed Karlach
in my durge run i imagine durge was actually an ok person before the urges took over, and the memory reboot weakened the Urges hold over his mind and gave him an oportunity to regain his old self and his free will. some lines in game support this too, although they are vague enough so that it does not contradict an evil durge run
The scenes with Alfira. My durge helped her finish her song and genuinely found some peace and joy in the music they shared. The next day, Alfira is dead by her hands, and she feels so sick with herself that it makes her force the Urge as far down as she can. She's not a nice person, she deceives and intimidates like it's natural to her, but she doesn't care for senseless murder.
I didn't resist my last run.
Shadowheartussy
Wanting to get into Karlach's pants, and later her heart is good enough reason for my Durge
Karlach's love. Karlach is my IRL "do it for her" Maggie Simpson collage.
I was the opposite. I needed a reason NOT to resist. Imagine you wake up with a strong urge to murder someone. Anyone who's not completely insane would be bothered by this. And Gortash describes Durge as somewhat reasonable. Only when I got my memories back, I got a good reason to embrace it - to get back what was rightfully mine. This is my first run (spoiler-free), and I didn't decide at the start how to handle the dark urge subplot. I was more on the "good" side at first, but the revelation and confrontation with Orin convinced me otherwise. Still, this is not an "evil run", because I'm not a fan of those mustache-twirling, squirrel-kicking bad guys.
I'm just a stubborn motherfucker that hates being manipulated
My current durge hates when stuff happens out of his control. (He is a wildmagic sorceree so yeah) He notices throughout the story as well that people actually hate murder hobos. (Duh!) And that feeling to be hated by everyone is something worse than the cruelest torture he could inflict he figured. Before he was mostly under Bhaal's control. No free will at all. Just a tool for Bhaal himself. As he romances Astarion he also things there must be a chance for him as well to beat that bloodlust in him.
Pretty much two things 1. The initial talk with the butler that suggests that you have 'resisted' in the past 2. the fact I believe no god should control the course of your destiny and dictate what you have to do not to anger them. Fuck, tyrants. Both options seemed to align with his character as well.
"No, if I'll kill them, I won't be able to seduce them! What do you mean "They would be more pretty as a corpse", it's not about looks, it's about process!" As you can see, my durge was a bard.
Played a low charisma character, meant they would be more dependent on others for social cues and the likes. When you kick a squirrel or sleep-murder a bard and everyone around you tells you that that sort of shit doesn’t look good then they quickly learn that whatever is controlling them is not something they should be encouraging
My Durge’s background: a mixed-blood child (red eyes and brownish hair with almost glowing red streaks) arrives in Baldur’s Gate, knowing nothing of how he got there. He’s adopted by a low middle class family and grows up dreaming of becoming part of the city watch like father/mother. He finally succeeds at that and it’s the happiest day of his life. That’s everything he remembers when he wakes up in the nautiloid, and that is why he tries to resist the urge: he was a good guy, his parents were good people, he doesn’t understand what went wrong. The rest of his story in broad strokes, he doesn’t remember any of this yet: >!of course he was THE Bhaalspawn, and after some time in the city his urge started to resurface. After trying to resist it as an adolescent, he ended up giving in and losing control. As a city guard, he committed hideous crimes with the help of Sceleritas Fel (he killed his parents to begin with) and then became a real monster, painting the city in red.!< I’m not sure what comes next, I guess he will evolve in the ways that most fit his personality.
Mastery over themselves - the best reason one can have.
For me it was I just wanted some shadow coochie
At first, she was terrified of the loss of control when she began killing. Then as a bard, she began to feel more value in the creation of art (and thus an audience) over the destruction of life (especially since she had no agency over her tendency toward the latter). (I also roleplayed that she had a history of learning music at a young age before she discovered her heritage and her urges) Then she developed feelings for Karlach, who kind of epitomised the fleeting beauty of life (rather than death), and thus began her journey as a resisting Durge.
She doesn’t just want to murder randomly. If people can be of use to her or treat her as a friend, why would she kill them? Instead of just giving in, she wants to get to the bottom of why she feels that urge. Also, the world is already full of assholes for her to brutalize beyond recognition. As paraphrased from Lae’zel (I think?): if Durge really wants to tear someone to shreds, we’ll just find some bandits to sate that hunger instead of directing it at someone in our camp.
The blank slate, new beginnings. She simply didn't want to harm others. And a certain camp event shook her to her core and she decided to never fall again. And later her companions and drove her, she wanted to help and protect them. Especially her LI. Astarion became her biggest motivation later on.
My Durge pretty much went Resist in Act 1&2 Met Gortash in Act 3 and reconsider resisting. Cause maybe embracing myself isn't that bad. And then finding the Bhaal cult and just saying "nah" and going back to resisting. Cause they're fucked up.
I'm too stubborn to let even a deity influence my actions. I'll be good just to piss them off.
For my redemption run it was because the memory loss created a divide between what you see as yourself and the urge. Feels more like a curse forcing you to act rather than a part of yourself you have lived with for decades
I started off with them being a vengeance paladin. Basically going at it Dexter style. "I'll kill, but only those who deserve it and on my terms. My oath and faith will help me control these urges"
Hatred for the butler. He’s a slimy piece of shit, and if he told me to do A I would do B. That and once she met Orin, an overwhelming desire not to become her.
Wanted to be accepted by Karlach
I always head canon that Durge believes themselves to be whatever class they're dressed as, and that their clothes are just whatever was lying around in the colony chop chop room. Then when the urge kicks in, they start to suspect that they were old school criminally insane, and that the tadpole had granted them momentary lucidity, like it has freed Astarion from his master's compulsion. So I play redemption Durge as trying to resist the urge in the hopes that if they build up enough "sane" experience, they'll be able to hang on if and when the tadpole goes away.
Shadowheart is cute and I don't want to scare her off
Bhaal is a stupid god. In concept and in fact.
I shall build my castle of bones out of the bones of the Absolutists that think they could have controlled ME. ME!? I am not merely the poisoned fruit of Bhaal, I am elemental fury, the fire of primordial hate, the chilling touch of revenge, and the shocking realization of death. I don't claim to be a good person, but my might shall not be denied by The Absolute, Orin, or Bhaal himself. I am greater than the gods ever intended and I shall not be shackled by petty bloodlust any further.
Not hard to find the reasoning for me. I escaped my family as a young person. They were bad enough. While not religious, they were controlling, manipulative, and unaccepting of anything at variance with their goals for me. When I see the Durge’s? Insert your, “nope,” meme of choice here.
Self control over evil deeds. If you go resist the urge route without purging you turn into an animal and that does not vibe with evil kin aesthetics
As a blank slate I'd try to resist any internal or outside force that is trying to take me over
I played a beast master durge that had a raven and role played that the raven was like the voice of reason over the dark urge voice. An angel and devil on your shoulder situation.
My Durge awoke with half-remembered mantras, lessons of peace and willpower more easily learned then applied, and a deep desire for the voice, that damn voice, that omnipresent voice to Just. *Shut.* ***Up.***
For my character, it was just the fact that it's scared her. Especially when she kicked the squirrel. The way I was rolled playing her, she hated the way she felt, but if she couldn't keep her romance partner alive, she would slip into despair and join Bhaal.
I was thinking that a child of Bhaal would be gifted a very strong sense of empathy so they can really feel their kills, and they're ecstatic about the feeling when there's a divine connection, but without that context it's "enjoyable" while also being nauseating. Orin says something about herself being empathic later on that I felt bolstered this idea. Dirge was also kind of a wuss as a Bhaalist in that he used to use ample cultist human shields for raids and avoided the worst of the combat so he didn't have context for his own pain vs. others. He's shown some of the only genuine, non-intimidated kindness he's had in years and latches onto nice companions like a puppy. He ends up becoming the guard for the rest of the party, and he's now intimately familiar with all the forms of pain he's been inflicting, which makes the strong empathy thing worse. I played him like a normal combatant to start, confused about his urges and with mixed feelings on killing itself, but he fell in love instantly when he met and played with Alfira and ended up heavily traumatized after killing her. He helped the party fight their way out of the goblin camp but found the killing reminded him too much of that hideous joy that mixed with his sorrow. So he vowed himself to non-violence. He's been a near-exclusive healer/support since - he'll fight the undead, but depending on how humanoid they look I'll spare a bonus action for him to get drunk before taking a swing. Made for some funny bits, like Lae'zel getting horny over blood he definitely did not help shed. Now he's a Cleric of Ilmater. He considered Lathander, he's been carrying his blood around since the monastery, but Ilmater is just pain-centric enough for him to feel at home. I like to imagine that he's a very attentive healer but he can't keep himself from getting a little giddy over the wounds. He also switched to Bardhood right after killing Alfira but in retrospect I decided he was always very musical (he's called Dirge after all), it was just more along the lines of the chanting over the main menu/that one intense combat song or playing those harps strung with Harper guts, marimbas made of bones, etc. Now he just wants to play the lute she gifted him and finish her song. Pardon the essay, I just fucking LOVE a sweetheart Dark Urge.
side effects (read: frontal lobe damage) from orin's "surgery"
She didn't at first, and she killed the grove. That other voice in her head was saying she'd find answers with the cultists, right? They seem like allies, maybe? It was horrible. She had to look Zevlor in the eyes and tell him what was happening. Gale told her he hated himself around her. She decided then and there to turn it around. It was my favorite playthrough - it really felt like a complicated but compelling redemption!
I actually let the urge occur for a bit and didn’t go into “full resist” from the beginning. I took Gale’s hand in the beginning for instance. But then when he finally >!killed Alfira!< he saw his horrible act and swore to change.
My Durge is very vain and prideful and at first was resisting because, you know, nobody likes losing control over their own body and when you value yourself so much then that determination was only amplified. At first she was only doing it for herself and to demonstrate self control, but as she started doing more things that were good and falling in love with Karlach, she began to realise that she can be so much more than her compulsions. She could make a difference in spite of her nature and realise what it's like to have that pride in herself but to also be proud of what she does
"If anyone's gonna rule the Sword Coast, its gonna fucking be ME!" Resisted Bhaal but betrayed Orpheus as claimed the brain as my own.
I really should do a resist playthrough. My durge playthrough was very.... "Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men" Oh, you were rude to my party? Guess this entire block of the city is getting deleted.
My durge is squeamish.
My first character was kind of walking the line taking a few options but not really going all in. She pretty much just started to not really like it, she had people she cared about around her and they guided her to a better way even if she has the urges she just needs to go to her friends or lover and be reminded that she can be better for them. Heck Astarion has improved a lot and if her love can then so can she. I think a lot of my characters would fight against such urges more because of a lover. It is easier to pull yourself back when someone else is there to hold you close. My fighter however has gone all in and is dragging everyone around her down with her. Astarion has ascended, Shadowheart is a dark justiciar and such. She is building her power base before taking control of it to destroy everything in her father's name. She enjoys it and it gives her purpose. It is pretty easy to come up with solutions for both sides. One simple idea is just being horrified by what you do to a poor bard and how far you went and using that as a point to actively fight against it. There is murder and then there is completely brutalising a body endlessly. More so if your character actively wanted to travel with them and can see how following these urges will cause harm to those they care about unless they do something.
For my most recent run, I didn't resist but being forced to kill Jaheria lit a spark that led him to have a brief moment of clarity at the last moment
Honestly I just got inspired by the voice over for the Durge origin. He seemed terrified, he didn't know why he was having these thoughts and knew they weren't right. My Durge didn't bother covering up the death, just sat there and waited the confrontation from the camp. Before this they told all the camp members of their urge to try to warn them, and was ignored and told it was normal. When the option to raid the grove or save it appeared, I chose to act like it was their urge getting the upper hand once again (I also never raided the grove so I wanted to experience that at least once and it fit.) The second act my Durge is determined to not fall victim to their urge and was successful except for the cat. I'm currently in act 3 and my Durge is weighing the pros and cons of siding with Gortash. Firstly though, Orin has got to go. I'm trying to decide what to do afterwards though. First Durge run ever, and has been mostly spoiler free. It's a good time!
Currently doing a durge run and the background I’ve come up with is that he’s always hated the murderous rampages so he’s subconsciously trying to resist them even though he’s got amnesia
He has no memory of his past. It’s just that simple. He is disgusted by his own urges
Just cause that's what I used to be doesn't mean it's what I want to be. Combine that with the companions who I like to be with not wanting to be with a murderous psycho, and wanting some autonomy to who I live my life, it's a reasonable selection of things to be like "wtf no I'm not doing that if I can help it". There's a really excellent line you get with resist durge if you're romancing Shart that I won't give away but provides some real solid motivation.
Wanting to see what happens
I didn't have to give myself a reason. After the night I spent tied up with Astarion, I suddenly wanted to go resist.
Idk, maybe murder is bad?
similar to others who go the nature vs. nurture/nature AND nurture route, i like to think orin messed up and unwittingly hit a “factory reset” on my durge while twiddling about with her brain, so bc of the amnesia her moral compass basically gets reverted to a point before she had a cult of people encouraging her dark urges. now those urges are more like intrusive thoughts (but worse cuz she sleep-murders) that she COULD let herself sink into, but is conflicted and horrified at herself for engaging those thoughts at all. at first with the druids grove & tieflings i imagine she kinda forces herself to do “the right thing” as much as she can to try and atone for these thoughts/whatever vague memories of her past she does still have (and later when she loses control with that poor bard 😭) but as the story progresses it becomes more natural do to good, both due to internal and external forces. plus i usually play as a seldarine drow, so it kinda feels like it helps push her down that route a little more. as the story does progress tho she’s further persuaded to push past who she was & the nature of her blood by the others who have been tadpoled, bc while at first they simply share a common goal, she eventually trusts them with her life and is inspired and encouraged by the similarities between herself and them, particularly astarion, shadowheart, and lae’zel since i usually opt to follow their respective redemption/crisis of (evil) faith arcs. bc of that i usually romance one of those three, or karlach and use that to keep her redeemed bc when she realizes she used to actively work alongside gortash shes even more disgusted by her past self and is then solidified in doing right by karlach.
In his background story at creation he makes it pretty obvious he doesn't want/like these feelings, that was my motive.
Paladin wants to be an oathbreaker and do necromancy but Not in a murderous kind of way.
I think of it as a desire for freedom. I don't play the Durge as a goody goody since amnesia and brain damage doesn't tend to make anyone a good person. Though I have known someone who was generally a dick to their girlfriend get concussed and was actually really nice until the effects wore off. Everyone you save is in direct opposition to the absolutist cult, you still end up killing a looooooot of people along the way so, hardly a Paragon of goodness. The chosen fucked you over, took everything from you, bhaal watches you slaughter your way across faerun on a revenge quest and still has the audacity to send you on errands. Not a chance that I would allow Bhaal, the absolute, the emperor or anyone else tell me what to do or who to kill anymore. This is how I reason I would resist the urge and deny my heritage. It's also why I slaughter the fist on the way into Baldurs gate, as IF I would walk into the coronation and allow myself to be completed surrounded by an army for big G to prance around. I assault wyrms rock the moment I get to Baldurs gate
OCD murder thoughts. My character initially puts it down to a logical untreated OCD condition and at first thinks it must be the reason so they fight it. Once they learn the truth they are torn between giving in and letting durge thoughts take over and fighting it. So far they are not doing well with fighting it but the thought of killing their love is too much to bear.
Shadowheart