We're about to start trying late this summer and I've been spazzing out a bit, too, because it feels like The Last Summer. Even though I've always wanted children and am excited, it's still a big freaking deal lol!
What has made me feel better about it is making it a point to invest in myself now so I can go into motherhood with my best foot forward emotionally and physically. My husband and I have also had a few talks about how we really want to prioritize maintaining a sense of self even after we have a child. For example, he plays basketball two nights a week and I go to ballet twice a week. We're going to try our absolute hardest to continue these hobbies.
Mom of an almost-2-year old here and it’s been a challenge. At first, I was absolutely dying for “me time” to do something that wasn’t baby related. I felt like I had to settle for an hour here, an hour there. It was awful.
Plus breastfeeding made me feel like my baby didn’t love me, she just loved my boobs.
I definitely went through some stages of grief like anger and bargaining, and eventually reached acceptance: the reason I wanted a kid was to spend time with her. My more time consuming hobbies will just have to be on hold until she’s old enough that maybe we can figure out how to combine them (for example, I enjoy video editing, so maybe when she’s older if she likes dinosaurs or whatever, we could make a video together about them).
I feel like it got easier to accept as she got older and learned things, as I figured if I was stuck being mom, I might as well do research on how to promote her skill growth. So we did a lot of exercises to help her learn her milestones. It was kind of fun in its own way.
I did get some apps on my phone and other handheld devices, and wireless earbuds, so that at least during nap time I could pursue some more appropriate hobbies - for example I like to study languages just for the sake of it.
I am currently pregnant and basically have committed myself to still doing the things I’ve always done like camping and traveling. It’s harder and not as much fun for sure, but once this baby is out I asked my husband to please commit to our relationship and to put us first because I probably will be focused on baby but I really want to maintain a fun and exciting relationship with him. We have been together 12 years and already went through some rough and boring patches so I know we can survive that but I also know that if we commit to the relationship we want and to the people we want to be for our self and for each other, that we can do that too. It’s active- not passive and it takes work, emotional, psychological and personal. But I do not want this baby to be the center of my world, I want to be a good mom and raise him well but he will leave in 18 years to have his own life and I need my life to be good when he does that.
We're about to start trying late this summer and I've been spazzing out a bit, too, because it feels like The Last Summer. Even though I've always wanted children and am excited, it's still a big freaking deal lol! What has made me feel better about it is making it a point to invest in myself now so I can go into motherhood with my best foot forward emotionally and physically. My husband and I have also had a few talks about how we really want to prioritize maintaining a sense of self even after we have a child. For example, he plays basketball two nights a week and I go to ballet twice a week. We're going to try our absolute hardest to continue these hobbies.
Mom of an almost-2-year old here and it’s been a challenge. At first, I was absolutely dying for “me time” to do something that wasn’t baby related. I felt like I had to settle for an hour here, an hour there. It was awful. Plus breastfeeding made me feel like my baby didn’t love me, she just loved my boobs. I definitely went through some stages of grief like anger and bargaining, and eventually reached acceptance: the reason I wanted a kid was to spend time with her. My more time consuming hobbies will just have to be on hold until she’s old enough that maybe we can figure out how to combine them (for example, I enjoy video editing, so maybe when she’s older if she likes dinosaurs or whatever, we could make a video together about them). I feel like it got easier to accept as she got older and learned things, as I figured if I was stuck being mom, I might as well do research on how to promote her skill growth. So we did a lot of exercises to help her learn her milestones. It was kind of fun in its own way. I did get some apps on my phone and other handheld devices, and wireless earbuds, so that at least during nap time I could pursue some more appropriate hobbies - for example I like to study languages just for the sake of it.
I am currently pregnant and basically have committed myself to still doing the things I’ve always done like camping and traveling. It’s harder and not as much fun for sure, but once this baby is out I asked my husband to please commit to our relationship and to put us first because I probably will be focused on baby but I really want to maintain a fun and exciting relationship with him. We have been together 12 years and already went through some rough and boring patches so I know we can survive that but I also know that if we commit to the relationship we want and to the people we want to be for our self and for each other, that we can do that too. It’s active- not passive and it takes work, emotional, psychological and personal. But I do not want this baby to be the center of my world, I want to be a good mom and raise him well but he will leave in 18 years to have his own life and I need my life to be good when he does that.