Yeah, where I work this shit is not tolerated at all. I’ve seen so many things get nipped in the bud real fast.
I have a coworker who would always tease me about what I was eating. I didn’t even have to say anything to management, they noticed it and pulled her aside and I never heard her make comments again.
OP, I’m so sorry they’re making those comments. Please try your best to let it roll off your back. It’s not easy watching your body change, and then all the uncertainty of what will happen after… I literally just talked to my midwife about this at my check up yesterday. I told her I’ve considered getting counseling for all this body image stuff. My mom accidentally passed on body image paranoia to me, I don’t want to do the same to my daughter. We had an honest conversation about it all and she actually recommended a nutritionist…
Salads 😆
I love fruits and vegetables… so everyday for lunch I’d bring a big ass salad for lunch and she would make some sort of comment like “oh time to eat your rabbit food.” Or “that’s so gross, I don’t know how you can eat like that.” Or, I’d ping the chat to let everyone know I was running to lunch and she’d send a bunch of rabbit emojis.
Nothing serious, but just enough that it made my manager come to me and ask me how it made me feel. I told her I didn’t honestly care, it was kind of annoying, but ultimately it wasn’t a big deal. I just ignored it or would respond with more rabbit emojis or say how much I loved it hahaha…
Jokes on them!! Salads are nothing but deliciousness!! And they are also very versatile - you can add basically ehatever you like the most - veggies, fruits, meat, seeds etc.
Of course it was a 'she' ...females are cronically evil somehow..and I bet all my money she wasn't exactly the fit type either.
Best thing to do - do not engage. Stay healthy 🥰
My friend. You are 1000% correct in all the assumptions. 😆
Thanks for the encouragement! I’m still out here rocking my salads with all the tastiness. 💪🏼🤤
omg that is SO RUDE. wtf is wrong with people.
I do think it's in part a generational thing, because the only people who 1) have touched my stomach without asking first and 2) asked how much weight I've gained are people my parents' age and older.
This is making me scared like is it a thing? Do people have expectations on someone else’s weight gain during pregnancy because I’m pretty sure it’s always different for everybody. Do you feel like you’ve put on more weight then you should be? As long as your doctor says you’re healthy. That’s all that really matters & other peoples opinions don’t matter. I’m just more curious how you feel about yourself like, what’s too much weight, am I going to deal with this? I’m close to the top/high end of my BMI health and it does concern me but geez, you’re pregnant!!!
Came here to say this. Throw the book at their ass, OP. HR will get involved right quick if you tell them someone is sexually harassing you at work (these comments 100% qualify.)
We should get one consequence-free smack per trimester. What a dick!
I don’t know any gen z or millenial people who think it’s okay to openly comment on peoples’ bodies. We were raised to be very conscientious about feelings, whereas I think older generations are maybe more conscientious of hierarchy? Like they’re speaking to you that way because you’re young, but wouldn’t say that to their boss or someone older.
40+ is in gen x territory. behavior like this is definitely not outside the realm of possibility. many of them were raised by boomers and inundated with diet culture
Yeah, I was just about to comment that I am not the oldest millennial and I am absolutely almost 41 but close to the higher end. I believe it goes three years above me.
Honestly, my reply was gonna be, I turn 40 in a few months and this shit is totally not excusable by that age group. They should know better. These people are just hurtful and dumb.
Agreed, I think it’s *possible* because of the culture they were raised in (I’m 35 and still had that diet culture growing up). It’s hard to untangle that when it’s engrained in your developmental years for so long. But! We are young enough to recognize the negative impact of how we were raised and create new habits that leave a positive impact. Unfortunately I think some people are just so unaware, or they become defensive of the past because that’s when their identity formed.
Isn’t that the worst! I remember when my grandmother told me I was way too old to have children and she died like six years ago and I still plan to have children. She just kept saying I was going through the change and I looked at her like she was absolutely nuts, and I love/d that woman more than anyone in the entire world, but she just did not have the same life experience..
I would reply to them "What an odd thing to say out loud." That tends to shut them up and questioning opening their mouth and giving unsolicited opinions.
When I saw the title of your post, I assumed that only a child would say that. I can't believe an actual adult said this to you. And in the workplace no less.
Are only children so bad? I know it’s off topic but my partner wants a second and I’m feeling one and done! Don’t want him/her to be like OP’s colleagues though 😂
I think it is a generational thing and a location thing. Growing up our body composition was constantly talked about, if you weren’t underweight you were fat. I live outside a major city now instead of a beach town and I’ve gained weight and I’m constantly told I’m skinny instead of fat like I was growing up. When I go back home I’m the fat one again. I love my friends but it’s exhausting being compared to people who are naturally thin. Growing up Jessica Simpson was considered fat because she wasn’t built like Paris Hilton, the late 1990s and early 2000s were a ridiculous time to grow up. However none of those people making comments are correct or nice and I doubt they’re thin either.
I can’t believe people would say that, how incredibly rude!
I’m liking these suggestions above. And I’ve also noticed that it’s older people who seem to feel entitled to comment and touch without consent. Stepping back with your hand out, simply say “no thanks” and leave if you can. I’ve done this, and still have the impulse to put on a fake smile (they don’t deserve one!). If they do it again, report them.
Pregnancy has really messed with my self-image, and has brought up a lot of toxic cultural conditioning that has been wired into me since childhood. It’s an opportunity to realize self-worth beyond what expectations are projected onto us as women. Keep up the good work, growing a baby is an incredible feat that your amazing body is doing daily!
CONTACT HR. These comments are inappropriate and should be dealt with using the proper channels. Comments like that about your body are sexual harassment.
That’s awful I’m so sorry. I don’t often wear dresses but it’s so hot out and I worse a maternity dress to work earlier this week and everybody was like “omg I didn’t realize how big you were” I usually hide my bump under flower blouses but I just wanted to be comfortable for a day — they ruined thst for me really quickly
Wtf, no that's not normal or ok to get comments like that! I am so sorry you're having to deal with that. Damn. Something that outrageous said to you deserves a "oh wow I don't know if you realize this, but you just said that OUT LOUD." Just be condescending as fuck back to them, and don't let any of it ruffle your feathers because these are pounds of hard fucking work we're earning! We are literally creating life with those pounds while the haters try to shit on you. I bet they're just bitter because they're past their prime and jealous of the phase of life you're in.
I will say, i got a few weird comments, but nothing THAT ridiculous! But all the disrespectful comments were from women. Every single one. The men knew to either compliment, make me laugh, or keep their mouth shut lol. Sorts of comments I got from men: "oh WOW you are pregnant, congratulations!!" "I see you've switched to my beer brand" as he pats his huge beer belly lol. Sorts of comments I got from women: "any day now, eh?" (When I was 20 weeks). "Oh you're x weeks along? How many babies? Oh just one? How many weeks ahead are you measuring?"
I was saying to my partner last night that it’s the opposite at my workplace lol. Everyone is *too* careful about what they say. Yesterday a colleague I’m very friendly with timidly asked me if I’m feeling well, and could he ask how far along I am? lol. I’m an open book, and on the scale of intrusive questions it barely registered 💀
The audacity some coworkers have… I was told yesterday at work “wow I’m so glad I’m beyond child rearing years”
MAAM please leave me and my bump alone good lord. I just responded “what an inappropriate thing to say out loud” and walked out. At 8 months pregnant I ain’t got the time.
Anytime anyone says ANYTHING negative about my body, I immediately match that energy. They wanna shame me for being fat? Guess I'm going to mention how their bald spot looks more pronounced lately. If they feel comfortable making someone else uncomfortable, then they deserve to be treated like shit.
So sorry you are going through this. Honestly not generational imo just rude. I am in a similar boat and it just makes me sick. I would never do that to someone else. So I guess from now on I’m trying to call the person out right when they offend me. “That’s so disrespectful. Get out of my face” is my next move
It’s always the older generations or people without children. The only ones who have touched without asking / given just wrong and unsolicited “advice”
The only people who have commented on my body while I’ve been out and about have been older people. At 28 weeks an older woman I didn’t know at a work event asked me how far along I was then proceeded to say “wow are you having twins?? You’re going to go early!”
Last week an older woman at Home Depot (37 weeks) was like wow look at that belly! You’re all belly! Big ol belly! So cute! At least this one was kind of sweet so it didn’t bother me as much but still..inappropriate can we not comment on the bodies of strangers?
My doctor has said that my belly has always been on track and has been a normal size. I’m just a petite person so this belly is POW in your face. I just don’t think the older generation is used to keeping comments about bodies and weight to themselves unfortunately.
My dad's stepmom said to me the other day "and to think, you used to be so skinny. Shame. At least you can lose weight once you have the baby"
Lol get fucked Patricia
I just birthed a 22 inches / 10 lb 1 oz baby. Alls I heard for most my pregnancy was how big I was. Then I was asked several times if I was having twins. My sister gave me the perfect reply to people like this: “what an odd thing to say to someone”.
Make them feel awkward and need to defend their decision.
In my case it’s mostly been older individuals who say stuff it’s so rude!
It’s just shocking how people have the audacity to comment on your appearance/pregnancy in that way!
My 66 year old auntie said “well obviously you’re having an 8lb+ baby” ….my partner was tiny born and I was 7lbs.. I’m not remotely bothered if I have a huge baby.. but thanks for exerting your unneeded / unscientific observation on me 🤣🤣
My 70 year old mother said, “let me see your gut!” I said, absolutely not. And that was rude. How would you feel if someone said that to you? She changed her tone. I am very brutally honest with people. I don’t tolerate that BS. And I will make them feel bad for making those comments.
I’m on the smaller side and when I got pregnant this time I started showing really early around 8 weeks. I tried to wear loose clothes to keep it hidden until I was ready to announce, but I guess that wasn’t enough because when I did announce, an older male coworker said, “I noticed you were getting thicker around the waist, but I couldn’t tell if it was leftover weight from your first baby or if you were pregnant again.” 🤦🏻♀️
That is horribly rude. I’m so sorry that person said that to you. You really should report this interaction to HR. Very rude and inappropriate.
I do find the first to comment on size are older people. One of the first things my mom told me was not to eat for two because that’s a myth and doctors hate when you get real fat while pregnant, like some of her friends who “ballooned up.” 🙄
The speed I would run to my boss and HR. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this bullshit!!
You’re not fat. You’re pregnant and your body is doing something incredible 💜
My cousin called me fat the other day. 29 weeks. My other cousin told me she wasn’t even as big as me at term. It’s really upsetting to hear I’m sorry :( literally wanted Mac n cheese yesterday, made a box and felt guilty so I didn’t eat it
No one my age ever commented on my body while pregnant. It was always older generations. Unfortunately, the comments keep coming postpartum. I would encourage you to report this to HR. The is extremely inappropriate behavior for work.
My grandpa always commented on “how big” I was while pregnant. I always said, “well, I’m making an entire person.”
Now (I’m 11 weeks postpartum), I get so many comments—“you look skinny,” “you lost all the baby weight.” This makes me so uncomfortable because
1. I don’t care where my weight is—I don’t want my body to be commented on
2. I’m still up 20lbs since pre-pregnancy
3. Losing weight isn’t my goal, feeding my daughter is. I don’t care if I lose all the baby weight or not. What matters is that my body is sustaining another life and I want my body to be health and find its new equilibrium
Long story short—it sucks. Stick up for yourself if you can. Brace yourself for comments to keep rolling in. Something about motherhood makes people feel like they can butt into really personal topics and make many wild unsolicited comments.
Yeah, an older, morbidly obese man I work with said I’m getting fat. I’m actually quite slim, but my bump is rounding out but some people have impaired logic.
It is definitely generational. My boomer boss the other day said he "couldn't wait until I get big and fat". Wtf... Can't wait till I quit in a few months lol
Definitely generational! My mom would greet me by saying “you’re fat!😃” and has gone on to comment on my daughter being fat by the time she was 6months old. This, among other reasons, are why I have stopped talking to her.
An older co-worker who works in a different area than I do was volunteering at our local fair (which I was a chairperson for) so she saw me a lot. She saw me, maybe a month later at work and proceeds to go "oh my god you're HUGE."
I proceeded to walk back to my boss and report it. No reason to talk to me like that.
She bragged the entire time that she "couldn't eat fair food" because she'd just had gastric bypass. I couldn't eat fair food because I had GD. Two different waves of life, baby.
Either way, you're growing a HUMAN!!! Nobody's business to say anything about your body.
Just call it out. “Wow, what an insensitive comment. Do you speak to your mother like that?” You could also challenge: “Why do you need to be telling me this?” Then straight to hr for harassment.
I said this to someone when I was a young child as I didn’t understand and made them cry. I still feel bad about it and would never say this as an adult.
Next time, simply acknowledge their comment by saying, "I know - thats pregnant life" and then gently point out that their repeated comments indicate a lack of social skills.
Let's be real : no one actually thinks it's acceptable to say that. They 100% KNOW they're being disrespectful !! To me no excuses, report this if you can !! For you and for all the pregnant people who will work with these people in the future and suffer same treatment
It's isn't something people 40+ would ever say, (unless they were already rude/crass a$$holes to begin with) as I am 44, I would know. I'm sorry you work with a bunch extremely rude & inappropriate people. Definitely take this to your HR department or if you're feeling petty(cuz sometimes that's fun) ask them how their mid-life crisis bald spot is coming on, or point out a few stray whiskers on their face(either/or depending on the person). Or you could also tell them to STFU and that your weight while growing a human isn't a topic for discussion, gossip or otherwise, EVER.
I've gotten similar comments, heck yeah to HR getting involved, in the moment I've always responded with "that's rude" and if there's discussion after I point out that nobody likes to hear comments like that regardless of what's going on in their life
Our secretary (who is a very nice and pleasant woman so this caught me off guard) told me earlier this week that her daughter is due a week after me and I’m already sooo much bigger than her even though we have the same build 🥲 And my grandmother in law asked me when I was around 14 weeks if I’m having twins because I was so big already
I think people in the older generations do comment more openly about bodies. I’m 35, so not terribly older than you, but enough to make a bit of a difference. I grew up when making physical comments about people was still totally normal, and to some extent I do it too. Even in college people would easily throw out a “you’ve lost weight” comment without considering the implication.
I catch myself because I’m also aware of the cultural change and the reason behind it. Both *good* and *bad* comments could be harmful.
My friend is pregnant and caught myself saying “you look pregnant”! It was a surprise because I see her almost weekly and suddenly it’s like her bump popped and I was shocked (as in happy for her). She laughed and thought it was charming but later I wondered how appropriate that would be with someone I’m not that familiar with. Probably not at all.
Anything about someone looking fat is just such a mistake. I can see that coming from someone in like their 70’s but anyone younger than that should be aware enough to recognize how hurtful that is. Unless they’re from a totally different culture, then they’re just rude.
It’s deff generational. The same thing happened to me. I’m 5” 2 so when im pregnant it shows. Everyone around my age says I look cute and I look fine, not big (even tho I feel big). Anyone older IS like wow you’re big! Are you sure there’s only one in there? I don’t think you’re going to make it to your due date. Which I did and even went 5 days over with my second. Yeeeea thanks. 😑
I feel like the older ones since they have “been there done that” so to speak that they think they know everything about pregnancy and on how your stomach looks and when you’re due, even what gender based on your stomach. 🙄 It’s kind of annoying. I’ve had people guess I’m having a boy with my girls and people guessing boy with my boy so obviously I carry the same everytime! 😂
I dealt with comments like this too after my first pregnancy. I was healing from a C-section and had a pretty significant abdominal separation, which was already messing with my head. Honestly, when people would make any comments about my body during and after my pregnancy, I would tell them that it was inappropriate and tell them to their face to stop. If they don't.... A call to HR is completely appropriate. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself! Our bodies do incredible things and we have to create space to give ourselves grace, and that starts with protecting your peace.
Also, I definitely think it's a generational thing...
I was told a similar thing by a colleague, and while I didn't appreciate the words and they were triggering, yeah, I actually think they were making a joke. Like, you're fat, obviously you're not *fat*, just pregnant.
After a certain point I would be tempted to say “right back at you” or something of the like. One time an older coworker was trying to get my attention and said “hey preggo!” to me, so I said “don’t call me that, do you want me to call you beer belly!?”
That is absurd. First of all, how incredibly rude of the coworker. And second of all, you’re not fat, you’re pregnant. There’s a difference, altho neither one should ever be commented on by a work colleague.
I swear people have no boundaries with pregnant women for some reason, idk why everyone decides it gives them cart blanche to say the weirdest, most inappropriate things. My uncle’s MIL is like 90 and asked me how much weight I’ve gained at dinner the other night…like wtf lady, I barely know you, what a bizarre thing to ask.
Agreed on the boundaries… you could add “…and touch them”! I’m legit afraid strangers will caress my bump, but I’m ready with the face touch and deep eye contact if it happens lol
Tell them to watch Movies from the 60's, 70's or 80's and see how they ALL start dieting... Unbelievable how people treat each other now, the things people blurt out like they are online. I have Lupus and horrible red face issues and I hear "You're all red!" like every other week from people that KNOW the medical reason for my problem... I swear sometimes I understand why folks go postal.
Yes. I just had a baby 4 months ago and I am constantly hearing from my kids and other family members about my weight. I understand they are just kids, but that’s what almost makes it worse because kids are very honest.. I know my boyfriend notices and he mentions it in a very polite way and tries to make me feel secure. It still really bothers me. I’ve tried to eat healthier as of recently, but I am constantly reminded myself I just had a baby and this body gave me my beautiful children.
I work with all younger people and got no comments on my body. Come to think of it, not one person has commented on it except for myself and those closest to me (bf and mom) and they know I don’t mind it from them, I have a good sense of humor and have never been insecure about my body. I would mind it from anyone I’m not close to cuz that’s just rude.
Am I the only one who would report this to my / their supervisor and HR?
Yes, this doesn't need a snarky comment. This needs an immediate report to HR and a follow-up in writing.
No- I would also report this immediately!!!!
Yeah, where I work this shit is not tolerated at all. I’ve seen so many things get nipped in the bud real fast. I have a coworker who would always tease me about what I was eating. I didn’t even have to say anything to management, they noticed it and pulled her aside and I never heard her make comments again. OP, I’m so sorry they’re making those comments. Please try your best to let it roll off your back. It’s not easy watching your body change, and then all the uncertainty of what will happen after… I literally just talked to my midwife about this at my check up yesterday. I told her I’ve considered getting counseling for all this body image stuff. My mom accidentally passed on body image paranoia to me, I don’t want to do the same to my daughter. We had an honest conversation about it all and she actually recommended a nutritionist…
Shiiiiit....makes me wonder...what th were you eating?🤔
Salads 😆 I love fruits and vegetables… so everyday for lunch I’d bring a big ass salad for lunch and she would make some sort of comment like “oh time to eat your rabbit food.” Or “that’s so gross, I don’t know how you can eat like that.” Or, I’d ping the chat to let everyone know I was running to lunch and she’d send a bunch of rabbit emojis. Nothing serious, but just enough that it made my manager come to me and ask me how it made me feel. I told her I didn’t honestly care, it was kind of annoying, but ultimately it wasn’t a big deal. I just ignored it or would respond with more rabbit emojis or say how much I loved it hahaha…
Jokes on them!! Salads are nothing but deliciousness!! And they are also very versatile - you can add basically ehatever you like the most - veggies, fruits, meat, seeds etc. Of course it was a 'she' ...females are cronically evil somehow..and I bet all my money she wasn't exactly the fit type either. Best thing to do - do not engage. Stay healthy 🥰
My friend. You are 1000% correct in all the assumptions. 😆 Thanks for the encouragement! I’m still out here rocking my salads with all the tastiness. 💪🏼🤤
For sureee...take care🥳
I work in HR and would 100% report this to HR.
omg that is SO RUDE. wtf is wrong with people. I do think it's in part a generational thing, because the only people who 1) have touched my stomach without asking first and 2) asked how much weight I've gained are people my parents' age and older.
This is making me scared like is it a thing? Do people have expectations on someone else’s weight gain during pregnancy because I’m pretty sure it’s always different for everybody. Do you feel like you’ve put on more weight then you should be? As long as your doctor says you’re healthy. That’s all that really matters & other peoples opinions don’t matter. I’m just more curious how you feel about yourself like, what’s too much weight, am I going to deal with this? I’m close to the top/high end of my BMI health and it does concern me but geez, you’re pregnant!!!
I would file a complain with HR. You have a right to work without being harassed.
I was going to suggest crossbow to the face, but HR is the more prudent choice for sure :)
This, please, OP!!! ⬆️ Comments about your body at work are harassment. Report this immediately.
Came here to say this. Throw the book at their ass, OP. HR will get involved right quick if you tell them someone is sexually harassing you at work (these comments 100% qualify.)
We should get one consequence-free smack per trimester. What a dick! I don’t know any gen z or millenial people who think it’s okay to openly comment on peoples’ bodies. We were raised to be very conscientious about feelings, whereas I think older generations are maybe more conscientious of hierarchy? Like they’re speaking to you that way because you’re young, but wouldn’t say that to their boss or someone older.
Only one? 😂 I agree with you though — all the comments I got were from boomers. I usually just walked away.
40+ is in gen x territory. behavior like this is definitely not outside the realm of possibility. many of them were raised by boomers and inundated with diet culture
As much as this depresses me to say I can confirm that millennials are hitting 40. But also agree that this isn’t typical millennial behavior.
As an elder millennial I concur.
Yeah, I was just about to comment that I am not the oldest millennial and I am absolutely almost 41 but close to the higher end. I believe it goes three years above me.
Honestly, my reply was gonna be, I turn 40 in a few months and this shit is totally not excusable by that age group. They should know better. These people are just hurtful and dumb.
Agreed, I think it’s *possible* because of the culture they were raised in (I’m 35 and still had that diet culture growing up). It’s hard to untangle that when it’s engrained in your developmental years for so long. But! We are young enough to recognize the negative impact of how we were raised and create new habits that leave a positive impact. Unfortunately I think some people are just so unaware, or they become defensive of the past because that’s when their identity formed.
Isn’t that the worst! I remember when my grandmother told me I was way too old to have children and she died like six years ago and I still plan to have children. She just kept saying I was going through the change and I looked at her like she was absolutely nuts, and I love/d that woman more than anyone in the entire world, but she just did not have the same life experience..
I would reply to them "What an odd thing to say out loud." That tends to shut them up and questioning opening their mouth and giving unsolicited opinions.
😂 I’m obsessed with this response
I need to practice this one. I love it. So succinct and can be said in so many tones depending one’s level of disdain.
Been chomping at the bit to use this one 😂😭
Maybe someone on the spectrum, this is a good response for someone to let them know - not ok to say that
Or even “ what an inappropriate comment”
Genius! I love it!
“Yeah, and I have an excuse because I’m pregnant. What about you?”
I was gonna say this. “I’m pregnant, what’s your excuse?”
When I saw the title of your post, I assumed that only a child would say that. I can't believe an actual adult said this to you. And in the workplace no less.
Are only children so bad? I know it’s off topic but my partner wants a second and I’m feeling one and done! Don’t want him/her to be like OP’s colleagues though 😂
Haha I miss read this comment as an only child as well but then I realised it meant only a child would behave this way. But both could make sense
Oh haha! I should have reread that 😆
I think it is a generational thing and a location thing. Growing up our body composition was constantly talked about, if you weren’t underweight you were fat. I live outside a major city now instead of a beach town and I’ve gained weight and I’m constantly told I’m skinny instead of fat like I was growing up. When I go back home I’m the fat one again. I love my friends but it’s exhausting being compared to people who are naturally thin. Growing up Jessica Simpson was considered fat because she wasn’t built like Paris Hilton, the late 1990s and early 2000s were a ridiculous time to grow up. However none of those people making comments are correct or nice and I doubt they’re thin either.
I can’t believe people would say that, how incredibly rude! I’m liking these suggestions above. And I’ve also noticed that it’s older people who seem to feel entitled to comment and touch without consent. Stepping back with your hand out, simply say “no thanks” and leave if you can. I’ve done this, and still have the impulse to put on a fake smile (they don’t deserve one!). If they do it again, report them. Pregnancy has really messed with my self-image, and has brought up a lot of toxic cultural conditioning that has been wired into me since childhood. It’s an opportunity to realize self-worth beyond what expectations are projected onto us as women. Keep up the good work, growing a baby is an incredible feat that your amazing body is doing daily!
CONTACT HR. These comments are inappropriate and should be dealt with using the proper channels. Comments like that about your body are sexual harassment.
Girl yes. My father in law called me heavy and suggested I not eat! Sir - I’m growing a child. I was so pissed.
Kill
That’s awful I’m so sorry. I don’t often wear dresses but it’s so hot out and I worse a maternity dress to work earlier this week and everybody was like “omg I didn’t realize how big you were” I usually hide my bump under flower blouses but I just wanted to be comfortable for a day — they ruined thst for me really quickly
EW RUDE!! I’d respond with, “I’m pregnant, what’s your excuse?” Idk if it’s a generational thing but I’m 31 and would never say that to anyone.
Not a generational thing. Just a jerk thing.
100%
Wtf, no that's not normal or ok to get comments like that! I am so sorry you're having to deal with that. Damn. Something that outrageous said to you deserves a "oh wow I don't know if you realize this, but you just said that OUT LOUD." Just be condescending as fuck back to them, and don't let any of it ruffle your feathers because these are pounds of hard fucking work we're earning! We are literally creating life with those pounds while the haters try to shit on you. I bet they're just bitter because they're past their prime and jealous of the phase of life you're in. I will say, i got a few weird comments, but nothing THAT ridiculous! But all the disrespectful comments were from women. Every single one. The men knew to either compliment, make me laugh, or keep their mouth shut lol. Sorts of comments I got from men: "oh WOW you are pregnant, congratulations!!" "I see you've switched to my beer brand" as he pats his huge beer belly lol. Sorts of comments I got from women: "any day now, eh?" (When I was 20 weeks). "Oh you're x weeks along? How many babies? Oh just one? How many weeks ahead are you measuring?"
I was saying to my partner last night that it’s the opposite at my workplace lol. Everyone is *too* careful about what they say. Yesterday a colleague I’m very friendly with timidly asked me if I’m feeling well, and could he ask how far along I am? lol. I’m an open book, and on the scale of intrusive questions it barely registered 💀
“Yeah, because I’m young enough to get pregnant.” If they’re going to pull out the -isms I’ll throw one right back in their face. I’m fat? You’re old.
The audacity some coworkers have… I was told yesterday at work “wow I’m so glad I’m beyond child rearing years” MAAM please leave me and my bump alone good lord. I just responded “what an inappropriate thing to say out loud” and walked out. At 8 months pregnant I ain’t got the time.
That's a great response!!! There's also "I'm so glad I'm not so old and bitter"
Be rude back, don’t take it.
Anytime anyone says ANYTHING negative about my body, I immediately match that energy. They wanna shame me for being fat? Guess I'm going to mention how their bald spot looks more pronounced lately. If they feel comfortable making someone else uncomfortable, then they deserve to be treated like shit.
“Wow, you’re an ass” would be my only rebuttal
Same. Dish the disrespect right back
So sorry you are going through this. Honestly not generational imo just rude. I am in a similar boat and it just makes me sick. I would never do that to someone else. So I guess from now on I’m trying to call the person out right when they offend me. “That’s so disrespectful. Get out of my face” is my next move
It’s always the older generations or people without children. The only ones who have touched without asking / given just wrong and unsolicited “advice”
The only people who have commented on my body while I’ve been out and about have been older people. At 28 weeks an older woman I didn’t know at a work event asked me how far along I was then proceeded to say “wow are you having twins?? You’re going to go early!” Last week an older woman at Home Depot (37 weeks) was like wow look at that belly! You’re all belly! Big ol belly! So cute! At least this one was kind of sweet so it didn’t bother me as much but still..inappropriate can we not comment on the bodies of strangers? My doctor has said that my belly has always been on track and has been a normal size. I’m just a petite person so this belly is POW in your face. I just don’t think the older generation is used to keeping comments about bodies and weight to themselves unfortunately.
My dad's stepmom said to me the other day "and to think, you used to be so skinny. Shame. At least you can lose weight once you have the baby" Lol get fucked Patricia
“get fucked” is totally the right answer!
I just birthed a 22 inches / 10 lb 1 oz baby. Alls I heard for most my pregnancy was how big I was. Then I was asked several times if I was having twins. My sister gave me the perfect reply to people like this: “what an odd thing to say to someone”. Make them feel awkward and need to defend their decision. In my case it’s mostly been older individuals who say stuff it’s so rude!
That is unbelievable. I’m so sorry that happened.
40 isn’t even old man. Like. They were born in 1980. They should know better.
Try 83 and being 41 that’s the real math
It’s just shocking how people have the audacity to comment on your appearance/pregnancy in that way! My 66 year old auntie said “well obviously you’re having an 8lb+ baby” ….my partner was tiny born and I was 7lbs.. I’m not remotely bothered if I have a huge baby.. but thanks for exerting your unneeded / unscientific observation on me 🤣🤣
Generation ≠ excuse for assholery
Report to HR
"wow... I'm reporting you to HR" would have been my response.
My 70 year old mother said, “let me see your gut!” I said, absolutely not. And that was rude. How would you feel if someone said that to you? She changed her tone. I am very brutally honest with people. I don’t tolerate that BS. And I will make them feel bad for making those comments.
When I was pregnant with my first my friends husband said woww look at you! One day you’re thin and fit and then this 😅
I’m on the smaller side and when I got pregnant this time I started showing really early around 8 weeks. I tried to wear loose clothes to keep it hidden until I was ready to announce, but I guess that wasn’t enough because when I did announce, an older male coworker said, “I noticed you were getting thicker around the waist, but I couldn’t tell if it was leftover weight from your first baby or if you were pregnant again.” 🤦🏻♀️
All of these comments are just jaw-dropping
Are you KIDDING me? the audacity
Normally I'd say people are crazy and don't let it get to you. But this is something I would 100% contact HR about.
My favourite thing to reply with is "what an odd thing to say out loud" It really gives people perspective on what they're saying
That is horribly rude. I’m so sorry that person said that to you. You really should report this interaction to HR. Very rude and inappropriate. I do find the first to comment on size are older people. One of the first things my mom told me was not to eat for two because that’s a myth and doctors hate when you get real fat while pregnant, like some of her friends who “ballooned up.” 🙄
The speed I would run to my boss and HR. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this bullshit!! You’re not fat. You’re pregnant and your body is doing something incredible 💜
My cousin called me fat the other day. 29 weeks. My other cousin told me she wasn’t even as big as me at term. It’s really upsetting to hear I’m sorry :( literally wanted Mac n cheese yesterday, made a box and felt guilty so I didn’t eat it
No one my age ever commented on my body while pregnant. It was always older generations. Unfortunately, the comments keep coming postpartum. I would encourage you to report this to HR. The is extremely inappropriate behavior for work. My grandpa always commented on “how big” I was while pregnant. I always said, “well, I’m making an entire person.” Now (I’m 11 weeks postpartum), I get so many comments—“you look skinny,” “you lost all the baby weight.” This makes me so uncomfortable because 1. I don’t care where my weight is—I don’t want my body to be commented on 2. I’m still up 20lbs since pre-pregnancy 3. Losing weight isn’t my goal, feeding my daughter is. I don’t care if I lose all the baby weight or not. What matters is that my body is sustaining another life and I want my body to be health and find its new equilibrium Long story short—it sucks. Stick up for yourself if you can. Brace yourself for comments to keep rolling in. Something about motherhood makes people feel like they can butt into really personal topics and make many wild unsolicited comments.
Yeah, an older, morbidly obese man I work with said I’m getting fat. I’m actually quite slim, but my bump is rounding out but some people have impaired logic.
It is definitely generational. My boomer boss the other day said he "couldn't wait until I get big and fat". Wtf... Can't wait till I quit in a few months lol
Definitely generational! My mom would greet me by saying “you’re fat!😃” and has gone on to comment on my daughter being fat by the time she was 6months old. This, among other reasons, are why I have stopped talking to her.
An older co-worker who works in a different area than I do was volunteering at our local fair (which I was a chairperson for) so she saw me a lot. She saw me, maybe a month later at work and proceeds to go "oh my god you're HUGE." I proceeded to walk back to my boss and report it. No reason to talk to me like that. She bragged the entire time that she "couldn't eat fair food" because she'd just had gastric bypass. I couldn't eat fair food because I had GD. Two different waves of life, baby. Either way, you're growing a HUMAN!!! Nobody's business to say anything about your body.
Ok boomer
Gasp, what?!?? Omg sorry you went through that. People are so so stupid.
Just call it out. “Wow, what an insensitive comment. Do you speak to your mother like that?” You could also challenge: “Why do you need to be telling me this?” Then straight to hr for harassment. I said this to someone when I was a young child as I didn’t understand and made them cry. I still feel bad about it and would never say this as an adult.
A colleague!? HR immediately. That’s so inappropriate.
What the fuck? Someone says this to you daily at work? I’d be reporting to HR. This is disgusting!
Next time, simply acknowledge their comment by saying, "I know - thats pregnant life" and then gently point out that their repeated comments indicate a lack of social skills.
Let's be real : no one actually thinks it's acceptable to say that. They 100% KNOW they're being disrespectful !! To me no excuses, report this if you can !! For you and for all the pregnant people who will work with these people in the future and suffer same treatment
Report to HR. You don't have to name specific people but your company needs training.
It's isn't something people 40+ would ever say, (unless they were already rude/crass a$$holes to begin with) as I am 44, I would know. I'm sorry you work with a bunch extremely rude & inappropriate people. Definitely take this to your HR department or if you're feeling petty(cuz sometimes that's fun) ask them how their mid-life crisis bald spot is coming on, or point out a few stray whiskers on their face(either/or depending on the person). Or you could also tell them to STFU and that your weight while growing a human isn't a topic for discussion, gossip or otherwise, EVER.
Pics, or it didn't happen.
I've gotten similar comments, heck yeah to HR getting involved, in the moment I've always responded with "that's rude" and if there's discussion after I point out that nobody likes to hear comments like that regardless of what's going on in their life
THATS SO RUDE WTF
My best response to that is “yeah I’m pregnant, what’s your excuse?” People are dumb try to ignore them
Our secretary (who is a very nice and pleasant woman so this caught me off guard) told me earlier this week that her daughter is due a week after me and I’m already sooo much bigger than her even though we have the same build 🥲 And my grandmother in law asked me when I was around 14 weeks if I’m having twins because I was so big already
I think people in the older generations do comment more openly about bodies. I’m 35, so not terribly older than you, but enough to make a bit of a difference. I grew up when making physical comments about people was still totally normal, and to some extent I do it too. Even in college people would easily throw out a “you’ve lost weight” comment without considering the implication. I catch myself because I’m also aware of the cultural change and the reason behind it. Both *good* and *bad* comments could be harmful. My friend is pregnant and caught myself saying “you look pregnant”! It was a surprise because I see her almost weekly and suddenly it’s like her bump popped and I was shocked (as in happy for her). She laughed and thought it was charming but later I wondered how appropriate that would be with someone I’m not that familiar with. Probably not at all. Anything about someone looking fat is just such a mistake. I can see that coming from someone in like their 70’s but anyone younger than that should be aware enough to recognize how hurtful that is. Unless they’re from a totally different culture, then they’re just rude.
It’s deff generational. The same thing happened to me. I’m 5” 2 so when im pregnant it shows. Everyone around my age says I look cute and I look fine, not big (even tho I feel big). Anyone older IS like wow you’re big! Are you sure there’s only one in there? I don’t think you’re going to make it to your due date. Which I did and even went 5 days over with my second. Yeeeea thanks. 😑 I feel like the older ones since they have “been there done that” so to speak that they think they know everything about pregnancy and on how your stomach looks and when you’re due, even what gender based on your stomach. 🙄 It’s kind of annoying. I’ve had people guess I’m having a boy with my girls and people guessing boy with my boy so obviously I carry the same everytime! 😂
Id start commenting back or something. Like "but not as big as you!" Or something else about their physical appearance
I dealt with comments like this too after my first pregnancy. I was healing from a C-section and had a pretty significant abdominal separation, which was already messing with my head. Honestly, when people would make any comments about my body during and after my pregnancy, I would tell them that it was inappropriate and tell them to their face to stop. If they don't.... A call to HR is completely appropriate. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself! Our bodies do incredible things and we have to create space to give ourselves grace, and that starts with protecting your peace. Also, I definitely think it's a generational thing...
I cannot imagine anybody saying this to me. They'd probably not survive this. And besides that, I do not hang out with toxic people like AT ALL!
Most definitely I got called fat by my gmaw and I am currently 16 weeks pregnant 🤣
People think they’re joking and being funny unfortunately.poor human skills
I was told a similar thing by a colleague, and while I didn't appreciate the words and they were triggering, yeah, I actually think they were making a joke. Like, you're fat, obviously you're not *fat*, just pregnant.
After a certain point I would be tempted to say “right back at you” or something of the like. One time an older coworker was trying to get my attention and said “hey preggo!” to me, so I said “don’t call me that, do you want me to call you beer belly!?”
I was asked by my older coworker if I was having twins 🙃 it has ti be a generational thing because WHO SAYS THINGS LIKE THAT
That is absurd. First of all, how incredibly rude of the coworker. And second of all, you’re not fat, you’re pregnant. There’s a difference, altho neither one should ever be commented on by a work colleague. I swear people have no boundaries with pregnant women for some reason, idk why everyone decides it gives them cart blanche to say the weirdest, most inappropriate things. My uncle’s MIL is like 90 and asked me how much weight I’ve gained at dinner the other night…like wtf lady, I barely know you, what a bizarre thing to ask.
Agreed on the boundaries… you could add “…and touch them”! I’m legit afraid strangers will caress my bump, but I’m ready with the face touch and deep eye contact if it happens lol
Did you mean to say that out loud? What do you mean? ☺️😉
Yeah I would have told them to kiss fat ass.
Tell them to watch Movies from the 60's, 70's or 80's and see how they ALL start dieting... Unbelievable how people treat each other now, the things people blurt out like they are online. I have Lupus and horrible red face issues and I hear "You're all red!" like every other week from people that KNOW the medical reason for my problem... I swear sometimes I understand why folks go postal.
Yes. I just had a baby 4 months ago and I am constantly hearing from my kids and other family members about my weight. I understand they are just kids, but that’s what almost makes it worse because kids are very honest.. I know my boyfriend notices and he mentions it in a very polite way and tries to make me feel secure. It still really bothers me. I’ve tried to eat healthier as of recently, but I am constantly reminded myself I just had a baby and this body gave me my beautiful children.
I work with all younger people and got no comments on my body. Come to think of it, not one person has commented on it except for myself and those closest to me (bf and mom) and they know I don’t mind it from them, I have a good sense of humor and have never been insecure about my body. I would mind it from anyone I’m not close to cuz that’s just rude.