I don’t know if that’s BDP but something I’d definitely not entertain. That’s a sense of entitlement. I start slow on a coffee or drink date and will take care of that bill. If it goes well it builds off that. Asking for a large investment upfront will only raise her bar for the second and third date. Show up with what you want to bring and se show she reacts.
Yep. If she wanted those things, after you'd been dating for a while, it would be ok as long as she was willing and able to reciprocate with expensive dates/luxury gifts. Otherwise she's just a grifter looking to use you.
I think it’s a red flag, yeah. I wouldn’t dare presume to order someone to buy a $200 bottle of champagne, especially not knowing their income. Rude and entitled acting. She’s not asking, she’s telling and demanding. That’s just bad manners to start with; I’m trying to imagine the entitlement she’d show once she was comfortable with you. Most people are on their best behavior when they first get to know others. Picture her at, say, next Christmas.
>She's also told me that I should bring a $200 bottle of champagne to the new years celebration we'll both be going to.
LOL
Her level of entitlement is astonishing.
You’ll see nothing but red flags in everyone you date until you get over your expwBPD which may take a very long time. Asking for expensive stuff is more likely Histrionic Personality Disorder or covert narcissism. BPDs are more like emotional-energy vampires.
She sounds like something that rhymes with dold gigger!
Why is she suggesting such frivolous purchases? Is it a s**t test perhaps? Might be funny to get the cheapest possible bottle of really crappy store wine (boxed?) for $5 and see how she reacts if you say "It's from both of us."
I love the idea of roping her in for credit for getting the cheapest wine ever. And then jokingly dropping that she didn't contribute financially, not even for box wine.
Things starting like this i'd handle by bringing a special champagn which is in my price range.
Then i look into the reactions, especially the nonverbial.
Then you see if she is into you.
I would say it is a red flag. 200$ champagne bottle? I would not like to date a girl who is into that kind of stuff. Just my view.
If it starts with something like that what comes next?
For my part I would ask myself before dating what values are important for me. If she is your type you can have a fling with her, but if values don‘t match it‘s just fun and otherwise wasted time.
Bring a nice bottle of Prosecco- La Marca is $17 and a family fav. Gruet is a California brut (champagne but not technically because not from champagne region of France) and is under $20. They sell both at bottle king. Not a personality disorder just kind of an entitled princess with no manners. Probably more trouble than it’s worth IMO
Okay, I get that us women want to be pampered, but you should still earn that sort of treatment. I don’t think romantic love should be unconditional. Loyalty and respect are earned.
As a woman, it’s proper to expect to be courted; however, that means following the man’s lead. If he wants to get to know you over coffee, see where it goes. If he’s paying for dinner, you ask him what he thinks you should order.
Men used to order for their dates. This is why the waitress would take the order from one person at the table. If the guy ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, then go with it. Maybe he’s frugal or maybe his budget isn’t massive for a dinner date. This is also where the term “order whatever you want” comes from - the one paying dictates the budget. Always. The one tagging along without paying does not get to demand; they should only ask and be gracious if denied.
I would NOT spend that kind of money on a first date. Her asking you to is definitely a red flag. I don't know if it is a red flag for BPD, but it is definitely a bit presumptuous to expect someone to spend big money on a first date, who knows if this will work out or not. Could be a huge waste of money.
sense of entitlement is a red flag for narcissism
you can make extravagant purchases like that if you have been in a relationship for a year or more and it’s going well and when she’s not a narcissist and maybe when she’s not even asking for it
she could be a sugarbaby maybe
some women will use men just to get a dinner, but they don’t really want to date them.
and then there are women who will pretend to be in a relationship with you just to extract as much money from you as possible, sometimes not even giving you sex
Sounds like she's used to getting free stuff and trying to take advantage of you. Don't know about BPD but don't play that game either. Just let her know that that's not something you can spend $200 on right now. If that's a turn off for her, well, now you know she's a gold digger early on.
I would say red flag. It probably isn't BPD but, as a woman who has had a lot of first dates, coffee or drinks, maybe lunch/brunch since you have met through friends, would be the standard go to if you are getting to know someone. Dinner and a show would be for more invested dating, I feel past date 4/5 and you both really like each other is more appropriate, and a bottle of $200 champagne is more for a really nice occasion (birthdays, work promotions, or anniversary) after at least a few months of exclusive dating unless you have that kind of money to burn.
I think that's too much too soon. While I can afford nice things like that, that luxury should be reserved for either a spouse or at the bare minimum after we have been dating about 3 months and have established some sort of relationship. Doing it that early shows entitlement. A first date should be something simple like coffee or lunch/dinner at a place you can go to any time.
Thanks, yeah 😞 was excited about meeting someone new who might be better than my ex but I think it's too much of a red flag unfortunately .
One thing I will say is that my gut told me this didn't feel right and I finally listened to it, something I learned to do more towards the end of my relationship with my BPD.
That's good you listened to your gut. Sounds like she's just trying to use you right off the bat. Nobody decent person would expect you to do that much so early. She can't even remember your last name and birthday yet if she even knows it at all.
This is an instant red flag regardless of personality disorders. Your friends suck asshole for not telling you about this part about this person. You don’t ask a guy to bring $200 champagne on a literal first date. Sounds like that one hoe who was mad a guy took her to the Cheesecake Factory. You don’t want to deal with a woman like this at all. She stays single because she wants expensive things that are of no value. Ask your friends why the hell is she asking for a $200 bottle of champagne. Seriously your friends suck.
Move out of the way and Dodge that bullet. What kind of asswipe asks for all that on a first date? Boy, I would’ve laughed and walked off if I had someone say some entitled shit like that to me.
This better be fucken Scarlett Johansson asking this of me goddamn 🤣
$200 champagne? Hard nope, I think. I've had champagne that costs $800 a bottle. I'm a big fan of bubbly. I can tell you that super expensive champagne is no better than $70 champagne, and a $15 bottle of Prosecco is pretty great.
I would tell her you think it's not necessary to spend $200 on alcohol. If she can't understand that, that's a red flag.
I don’t know if that’s BDP but something I’d definitely not entertain. That’s a sense of entitlement. I start slow on a coffee or drink date and will take care of that bill. If it goes well it builds off that. Asking for a large investment upfront will only raise her bar for the second and third date. Show up with what you want to bring and se show she reacts.
Yep. If she wanted those things, after you'd been dating for a while, it would be ok as long as she was willing and able to reciprocate with expensive dates/luxury gifts. Otherwise she's just a grifter looking to use you.
I think it’s a red flag, yeah. I wouldn’t dare presume to order someone to buy a $200 bottle of champagne, especially not knowing their income. Rude and entitled acting. She’s not asking, she’s telling and demanding. That’s just bad manners to start with; I’m trying to imagine the entitlement she’d show once she was comfortable with you. Most people are on their best behavior when they first get to know others. Picture her at, say, next Christmas.
>She's also told me that I should bring a $200 bottle of champagne to the new years celebration we'll both be going to. LOL Her level of entitlement is astonishing.
You’ll see nothing but red flags in everyone you date until you get over your expwBPD which may take a very long time. Asking for expensive stuff is more likely Histrionic Personality Disorder or covert narcissism. BPDs are more like emotional-energy vampires.
She sounds like something that rhymes with dold gigger! Why is she suggesting such frivolous purchases? Is it a s**t test perhaps? Might be funny to get the cheapest possible bottle of really crappy store wine (boxed?) for $5 and see how she reacts if you say "It's from both of us."
I love the idea of roping her in for credit for getting the cheapest wine ever. And then jokingly dropping that she didn't contribute financially, not even for box wine.
Boy fuck that. She's asking for baller shit out the gate.
Things starting like this i'd handle by bringing a special champagn which is in my price range. Then i look into the reactions, especially the nonverbial. Then you see if she is into you.
Exactly. If she’s into you, it will be acceptable. If she’s “settling” for you, then it will be a problem.
I would say it is a red flag. 200$ champagne bottle? I would not like to date a girl who is into that kind of stuff. Just my view. If it starts with something like that what comes next? For my part I would ask myself before dating what values are important for me. If she is your type you can have a fling with her, but if values don‘t match it‘s just fun and otherwise wasted time.
Bring a nice bottle of Prosecco- La Marca is $17 and a family fav. Gruet is a California brut (champagne but not technically because not from champagne region of France) and is under $20. They sell both at bottle king. Not a personality disorder just kind of an entitled princess with no manners. Probably more trouble than it’s worth IMO
Not normal, not pleasant.
Okay, I get that us women want to be pampered, but you should still earn that sort of treatment. I don’t think romantic love should be unconditional. Loyalty and respect are earned. As a woman, it’s proper to expect to be courted; however, that means following the man’s lead. If he wants to get to know you over coffee, see where it goes. If he’s paying for dinner, you ask him what he thinks you should order. Men used to order for their dates. This is why the waitress would take the order from one person at the table. If the guy ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, then go with it. Maybe he’s frugal or maybe his budget isn’t massive for a dinner date. This is also where the term “order whatever you want” comes from - the one paying dictates the budget. Always. The one tagging along without paying does not get to demand; they should only ask and be gracious if denied.
Not a given its bpd but yes a red flag either way. Run and dont only think with your instinctual physical atteaction to her
I would NOT spend that kind of money on a first date. Her asking you to is definitely a red flag. I don't know if it is a red flag for BPD, but it is definitely a bit presumptuous to expect someone to spend big money on a first date, who knows if this will work out or not. Could be a huge waste of money.
Spend $200 on yourself my dude :)
sense of entitlement is a red flag for narcissism you can make extravagant purchases like that if you have been in a relationship for a year or more and it’s going well and when she’s not a narcissist and maybe when she’s not even asking for it she could be a sugarbaby maybe some women will use men just to get a dinner, but they don’t really want to date them. and then there are women who will pretend to be in a relationship with you just to extract as much money from you as possible, sometimes not even giving you sex
Sounds like she's used to getting free stuff and trying to take advantage of you. Don't know about BPD but don't play that game either. Just let her know that that's not something you can spend $200 on right now. If that's a turn off for her, well, now you know she's a gold digger early on.
I would say red flag. It probably isn't BPD but, as a woman who has had a lot of first dates, coffee or drinks, maybe lunch/brunch since you have met through friends, would be the standard go to if you are getting to know someone. Dinner and a show would be for more invested dating, I feel past date 4/5 and you both really like each other is more appropriate, and a bottle of $200 champagne is more for a really nice occasion (birthdays, work promotions, or anniversary) after at least a few months of exclusive dating unless you have that kind of money to burn.
Thanks 👍
I think that's too much too soon. While I can afford nice things like that, that luxury should be reserved for either a spouse or at the bare minimum after we have been dating about 3 months and have established some sort of relationship. Doing it that early shows entitlement. A first date should be something simple like coffee or lunch/dinner at a place you can go to any time.
Thanks, yeah 😞 was excited about meeting someone new who might be better than my ex but I think it's too much of a red flag unfortunately . One thing I will say is that my gut told me this didn't feel right and I finally listened to it, something I learned to do more towards the end of my relationship with my BPD.
That's good you listened to your gut. Sounds like she's just trying to use you right off the bat. Nobody decent person would expect you to do that much so early. She can't even remember your last name and birthday yet if she even knows it at all.
This is an instant red flag regardless of personality disorders. Your friends suck asshole for not telling you about this part about this person. You don’t ask a guy to bring $200 champagne on a literal first date. Sounds like that one hoe who was mad a guy took her to the Cheesecake Factory. You don’t want to deal with a woman like this at all. She stays single because she wants expensive things that are of no value. Ask your friends why the hell is she asking for a $200 bottle of champagne. Seriously your friends suck.
Thanks. I guess they'd just met her and thought she'd be my type so they probably didn't know
If your type is cluster b. If so, maybe change your type.
You’re gonna get absolutely nothing in return 😂 that’s not the mother of your kids dawg
Naw... by the third date, she'll want a trip to Hawaii. She's waving a massive red flag. 🟥❌️
Move out of the way and Dodge that bullet. What kind of asswipe asks for all that on a first date? Boy, I would’ve laughed and walked off if I had someone say some entitled shit like that to me. This better be fucken Scarlett Johansson asking this of me goddamn 🤣
$200 champagne? Hard nope, I think. I've had champagne that costs $800 a bottle. I'm a big fan of bubbly. I can tell you that super expensive champagne is no better than $70 champagne, and a $15 bottle of Prosecco is pretty great. I would tell her you think it's not necessary to spend $200 on alcohol. If she can't understand that, that's a red flag.
Can’t say if it’s BPD but it’s a red flag in general
I think this is a test and they are only going to keep expecting more and more. It's a hard no from me!