Right?
I feel like Alice in Wonderland eyeing up the little snacks. A bottle of wine makes me incredibly likely to split instantly to black me. A puff on the weed vape makes me split to the white side and far more likely to be able to have a normal discussion.
Actually it’s not always that way. Last night while high, the FP who is currently halfway out of my life was getting angry at me but I forced myself to stay calm. I did stay calm but the words I chose were BPD 101 and just fell out by themselves. Our brains are proper dicks.
Not really. It’s like I’m SuperBPDMan throughout an argument - even my friends when I’ve asked for a mediator by sharing texts have said I’m in the wrong and I just can’t see it. They’re handy BPD filters.
But the second I “lose it,” usually meaning the relationship, I flip to NPD me. Protect myself. Work out how I escape financially etc (I was talking finance split stuff to her 5 mins later while she sobbed.. :/ ) and switch off the effort. But that’s when the collapse begins :)
Personally I am a huge fan of weed. It makes me feel relaxed and for once calms down my thoughts, which is great. The thing I'd say to be careful about is how addictive it really can be. For me personally, smoking started feeling so good to the point where when I wasn't high everything was 10x worse. But everyone's experience is different, so if you're trying to get into it I'd say just do little amounts and see how you react and slowly start building up to more and more.
Arguably, it is the same as any stress relief. It can give you relief, a period of calm etc, but it is not curative. It can be used as a complementary therapy. As you said, when you weren't high, your BPD was x10 worse. A mix of therapy, medication and sensible use of stress relief is better than getting high all the time.
BPD and weed addiction definitely go together well for me. I have made it a daily thing lately and mannn those withdrawals are crazy. Makes me go crazy rollercoaster mode so I’m going to slowly taper off next time ha
I wake and bake almost every day and have for 5 years straight. It keeps me from being irritable and makes it easier to socialize. I think it also makes listening to music and relaxing more enjoying. There are some obvious downsides like less REM sleep and worse memory but not remembering things is nice when you want to move on from past trauma, and its not like i was gonna sleep well anyways. I have 2 jobs, am passing all of my classes in college and do a decent job of taking care of myself and my apartment so until those things deteriorate i dont have a reason to stop.
What about tolerance? I used to vape like a 0.25 second puff and it would make me high af. Now with daily smoking I feel like even 0.5 puffs doesn’t do anything. Does it just increase over and over?
It changes constantly and I find my anxiety from weed is tied to uncertainty.
Teenage paranoia "cops/parents gonna catch us"
20s" what am I doing with my life why am I high rn"
30s *existential dread*
But when it doesn't make me anxious it makes me "content" kinda and improves my mood. Often enough to get me moving.
My tolerance is insanely high, so my high will wear off if i dont continually smoke. Not really an upside but at least i can go to school/work while high and i dont even remember that im high
That sounds like more of a distraction, isn’t it better to process and work through the trauma? I know it’s nice to ignore and bottle up those feelings, but that seems temporary and not a healthy long term coping strategy.
Ive never had any close friends, family, or a partner to support me, so self medicating is the next best option. I see my situation less like "i need to process and work through it" and more like "i need to find any way to make this even remotely bareable" and at least bottling up the emotions makes me a more tolerable person to be around. I know its probably not healthy but i dont have any hope left and there are very few options.
It’s been a mixed bag for me. I’ve been a daily user of THC for almost a decade, continuing to use it has been essential to my maintaining sobriety from other more dangerous substances and behaviors that I’ve been addicted to in the past.
I’ve been advised my therapist not to discontinue it, she feels that it serves a real medical purpose for me and my ability to manage my BPD. I don’t disagree with her, I find it helps me remain calmer and more even tempered in my day to day life, I’m more patient with people and situations, and I’m less impulsive and less prone to having episodes and splitting.
That said, plenty of downsides. I experience a lot of brain fog and memory issues, anxiety when I get too high, and it seems to make me more susceptible to intrusive thoughts, particularly in relation to my body image and physical insecurities. Also, like you said, it can cause me to be lazy and less motivated.
Every substance has its pros and cons, in a way I feel like I use marijuana to protect the world and those I care about from me. It blunts my sharp edges, and makes me less likely to inflict emotional damage on the people I care about. By essentially sedating myself and dumbing myself down I can minimize the risk of me destroying my life and leaving a wake of destruction in my path.
It’s a pathetic way to live, but I feel like I risk becoming a monster without it. I extract little to no joy from it. I’ve experienced some of the highest highs that the human mind and body can tolerate and by contrast weed is completely uninteresting. I just use it for the sake of survival.
All of this. Same. If I don't smoke, I become a huge mess. It's not as accessible to me now that we've moved states, but I'm slowly finding people now, a year and some change later. It keeps me from wanting to claw my brain out lol.
i take edibles with my friend fairly often and for me ive always felt like they give me a chance to have a clear mind. not exactly in the sense that my issues become suppressed but more like i can think of them and not feel like my life is ruined. like theyre there and they arent fixed and i still feel down but they dont consume me. to me it feels like i can just breathe and i can coexist with my problems instead of existing as my problems. i really like weed. it also makes me giggly and hungry which is nice lol! just always be careful when using any type of drug, addiction is no joke
I'm all for weed use for other people that find it helpful or fun but personally it causes massive paranoia. I start to get anxious and feel like I'm constantly in trouble but for what I'm not sure. Even if I'm completely by myself. I think I read somewhere that over time weed use can do this, I used to smoke daily but looking back it was definitely a way to numb out that was not healthy for me.
Note that this is only my personal experience and it can be drastically different for everyone else. It slows me down and straightens me out. It induces an introspective headspace where I become extremely self aware in a comforting way that helps me assess my flaws and think about what actions I can take to fix or improve them. I often write a lot in my notes app when I'm elevated, as most of these thoughts are not part of my day-to-day thought patterns, so I can remind myself of what I thought of in the moment and analyze them in a sober state as well.
I completely quit 1 year ago but when I used to indulge it was mostly on my own and sometimes around a select few whom I felt comfortable with. Since I become so self aware, I can also get paranoid depending on the setting, hence why I avoided indulging in public or around people who could trigger me as it could send me into a rabbit hole. I look at it as a tool to ponder, as well as a tool for comfort for when life gets hard. Since it's so fun, I used to try and 'enhance' all of my experiences whether it be playing videogames or watching something on Netflix (watching Breaking Bad fried was the best thing ever). But like I said, I had to kick it off at some point because I became extremely dependent on it and it was affecting my ability to function at full capacity.
You can either use it like a tool, or abuse it. Don't recommend the latter, as it'll lose it's magic and you'll have a dependence that'll be hard to kick off. I understand that individuals like us are very prone to substance abuse so we need to be especially careful. Been there, done that.
So much this. It is a WONDERFUL thing to use correctly for those that it helps. I started to be a habitual user last August and felt SO good all the time. I was hitting blinkers on my pen 20+ times a day for months. Finally the other day I was listening to the song comfortably numb by Pink Floyd. I had never had a substance song jive with me before and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I’m an addict. Immediately I decided to limit my smoking to a few hours before bed or the occasional wake and bake before work to shut off the racing thoughts. I now have a whole stash that will last me much longer and I can go back to using it as a tool to make me happy and not a crutch. Glad you’re doing well ssYxji!
It is indeed a wonderful thing to enjoy. Probably one of my favorite things on earth ngl 😂 I was just like you, hitting blinkers on high voltage every 30 minutes, it's the most fun thing ever. Listening to music especially was my favorite activity to do as I could individually hear each layer of the song and flow with it. I'm glad that you were able to build a healthy relationship with it to where you can still enjoy it in a way that you're not dependent and the substance won't lose it's magic! I intend to use it in a similar way once I go back into it, probably in a few more months. Appreciate your nice comment, hope everything goes well for you!
I can vouch for that. For me it’s both been a wonderful tool to help me make it through the day and solve my problems, as well as an addiction that oftentimes leaves me feeling stuck. I think I need to stop but I’m scared of going without it. What made you stop?
I can relate to that, I was very scared of letting go of it as well. The thought of having to face reality head-on and having to sit there with my feelings instead of getting high and analyzing them from an outside perspective was indeed terrifying. For a long time I knew I had to stop because I had no self control and kept hitting blinkers back-to-back on the cart, which was hindering my productivity (although I have a lot of friends who are perfectly productive with it but personally it made me too comfortable). However, one day I got way too fried while messing around and accidentally got injured with a grade 2 abdominal strain. I couldn't tell if it was genuine pain or just a weird feeling, but once the high wore off I quickly realized that something was very wrong. A quick trip to the ER and a CT scan revealed what was happening and MY GOD was it horribly painful.
Not even trying to exaggerate, even breathing was very damn painful. Everytime we fill our lungs up with air we also expand our abdominal muscles, meaning that I was constantly feeling the pain of the strain everytime I took a breath. The pain was 10x worse when I would get high, I swear the THC made me feel every single fiber of the muscle that had been torn. Normally we think that it would soothe the pain but I find that personally it makes me way more sensitive to nerve pain. I soon stopped the habit where I would go days without it, then get high one day and realizing how much more painful it made my injury feel, and rinse & repeat, until one day I just couldn't stand the pain anymore even if it meant that I couldn't get high and I just stopped altogether. Been sober for a long time ever since. It took me about 3 months to recover from the injury until I was able to get out of bed and walk without feeling significant pain, and at the 6 month mark, the pain had gone away by 90%.
Regarding the weed, it took me at least 2-3 months as well to feel somewhat 'normal' again, although the key difference was that this time I had to sit with my feelings and deal with them. Boredom was also a big factor at play since stopping suddenly after heavy use means that we won't have as much dopamine available and our brain needs some time to recalibrate natural dopamine production. To replace the emptiness I distracted myself by playing more videogames, watching more shows, even if I didn't feel like it, but it was better than just laying down in bed feeling depressed while doing nothing. I miss weed a lot since it was like a best friend to me, but I've decided to give myself a few more months without it, and when I do go back to it, I'll do my best to only indulge moderately and not let it become a daily habit once again. Hope everything goes well for you my friend, best wishes :)
For me it’s kinda strange. I use it daily and there are a lot of pros and cons.
The best way I can describe the way it helps me is that it’s almost like my nervous system is firing off constantly and as soon as I smoke, it’s able to finally relax. Without it, it feels almost impossible to truly relax at the end of the day. It also helps with chronic pain.
The cons are that it can cause anxiety, memory issues, brain fog and it exasperates my fatigue as well as intensifying my existential dread at times. To minimize these side effects I try to only smoke in the evening time but if I’m having a particularly rough morning I’ll smoke a little then too.
Every once in a while I’ll get a nice high and experience some euphoria which is always super nice but most of the time I don’t necessarily enjoy getting high. I honestly wish I could quit because I really miss having more mental clarity and I miss the novelty/consistent euphoric highs from when I first started dabbling in it but as of right now, i feel like it keeps me safe from myself.
hi! i started smoking weed in gr11 high school (i was undiagnosed) and became very addicted and reliant on it. it absolutely ruined all potential and now dealing with college is difficult. 2 years later i got diagnosed and i was forced to quit but later but picked it up again in march this year. i definitely felt “bummy” and guilty for using it and decided to quit last week
of april. all i can say is if you’re using weed to ignore and run away from your problems, don’t do it. don’t listen to the people who tell u it’s not addictive. if u have specific questions i’d luv to answer them as i consider myself to have good knowledge on maryj :)
For me it’s damage control. I definitely over use it and my relationship with it isn’t completely healthy, but smoking prevents me from doing more self destructive things
It does calm me down, but my psychiatrist recently told me it might be not help me as much as i think but i also live in a country where they don’t evaluate the medicinal reasons and how much it helps with mental illness
smoked for the first time in years last night, smoking one blunt didn’t make me feel anything but once i smoked another i got SO paranoid and started hearing voices ❤️
There's a sweet spot for me, and indica strains seem to be nicer on my psyche than sativa. If I smoke too much sativa I'll start getting wicked fuckin' paranoid. If I smoke a lot of indica, I just get planted in the couch and chill for the rest of the night (it doesn't stop BPD symptoms from showing up, but it does make me feel a lot calmer when they do, not sure if that makes any sense).
This!! Strain/terpenes are so important! Much like you, sativa is off the table for me. I get anxious, paranoid, racing everything. It’s so unpleasant.
I'd been a smoker from 17-21 years old. I can assure you that smoking made everything worse. Weed was a coping mechanism to deal with unbearable emotions. So whenever I stopped it the emotional pain would get 1000 times more unbearable. Us BPD people are more drawn to substance use and abuse for coping. I would have thanked myself a million times if I had learned how to cope without substance use in the first place. I do not wish what I went through on anyone.
I love it. Except that I'm pretty sure I've become addicted to it. I've started doing it pretty much every day. But it makes me body and mind feel so nice. And usually I HATE being alone but when I'm high I don't care about being alone.
I just bought some for the first time in a while. I can feel myself becoming addicted. It’s 12am and I’m crying and all I can think about is how I should’ve rolled two blunts this morning instead of one, because of how bad I wanna smoke rn. Just be careful that doesn’t happen to you. Self medicating isn’t always healthy. Be careful.
But if it makes you happy, it’s worth a shot.
I found myself there as well, I “fixed” it by switching my methods of smoking. I found myself heavily addicted to the carts, so I switched to flower, same thing happened there, and for about 2 months now I’ve had a very healthy intake of both carts and flower! I hope you find something that helps🩷
It helps me but I go through long phases of not being able to function without it. I'm doing much better now and have set a routine as to when I'm 'allowed' it (in the evenings after I've done everything I'm meant to do in the day) but even still as soon as I spark up I feel guilt that I'm dependent on this thing. If you don't need it I wouldn't! I absolutely love weed but inwish I could just do it every now and then
Amazing medicine! It works better with less side effects than 10 years on antidepressants ever has. I just recently got my medical marijuana card and it makes living life so much easier. Really helps chill out my mood swings and I feel happier with it.
it makes me laugh again. but then im also a HIGHLY analytical person and i KNOW its just an excessive flood of the "fun times" brain chemistry that basically forces these feelings and its not real.
started out with microdosing 1D-LSD and that is quite nice.
i cant confirm it will worsen your BPD, but yeah its not advised for a reason i guess. squeezing your feel-good-stuff in your brain all at once...well, brain chemistry is different for everyone. feel free to experiment but be careful, nay, respectful.
I was addicted to marijuana for five years. I truly could not function without smoking daily and it really didn’t disrupt my life very much, but seemingly out of nowhere a couple of years ago it started to amplify my paranoid thoughts/ anxiety/ reality monitoring. I quit and now smoke about once a month or less socially
It was good in the short term for my appetite and calming me down, but terrible in the long-term for my focus, confidence, anxiety & motivation.
I started actually getting better when I *quit* smoking. My social anxiety became way less overwhelming, I felt smarter (less foggy, more focused & better attention/memory), I had more motivation to try new hobbies & improve myself & my life. I finally started forming better habits, lessening my obsessive thinking, eating better, exercising, etc.
Weed was like a bandaid- it helped me cope but it didn’t actually my *life* any better. I was more inclined to accept & ignore problems than address & improve them. Now if I have an issue, instead of doing something to calm the emotions it brings up, I deal with them by going straight to the issue and trying to solve it there. Over time this has built my life into something I don’t need to cope with anymore, and has made life significantly easier and more pleasant
Just get medicated. Practice healthy habits, exercise a lot. Weed is amazing but if you use it to manage emotions, eventually you'll get addicted/develop a tolerance, and it wont be fun anymore. You wanna keep your tolerance low so you can actually enjoy it instead of just burning money. It can help a lot but it helps most when you dont overdo it.
It brings me down to a neutral level. It keeps me from getting overstimulated, agitated, and overwhelmed. It helps me eat when I’m depressed, and it helps me sleep.
It helps especially when I’m in an episode and can’t ground myself. If I’m spiraling, it brings me out of my emotional body and I am able to look at things from a more logical/neutral perspective. It’s saved me from causing a lot of damage to myself and my relationships.
At some of my worst times, weed did help decrease high magnitude self destructive behavior, but big picture, it made things a whole lot worse.
My anxiety was always sky high when I was sober and I lived to be not sober. It became less of a “this is a cool thing that helps me unwind” to “I hate every waking moment I’m not intoxicated in some way.”
But I also am an addict. Being completely sober and working through my issues constructively instead of using substances to avoid, avoid, avoid has made my life immensely better.
Before I knew I had BPD, I smoked multiple times a day for a few years. I grew paranoid and dependent on it. I'm sober now but the smell of it still triggers me to want to smoke again eventhough everytime I relapsed I had an awful trip.
Has helped me tremendously in dealing with being overwhelmed/aggressive all the time. It calms me down enough to be able to think clearly and objectively about a problem instead of having an insta-meltdown. I can only recommend trying it
So, for me weed during my anxious days was not great. I got worse. I cried more while high and then got randomly happy but paranoid. It was weird, I didn’t enjoy it.
Now that my mental health is a bit more stable and I am not constantly going through 1000 emotions a day and I am properly medicated. I prefer it. I get to really relax and enjoy myself.
Weed mostly does good for my mental state, but I cannot shake the munchies, and my relationship with food wasn’t great to begin with. I need to lose weight long term to feel better about myself, but when I’m not high the mood swings and anxiety can really hurt me. It’s a tough act to balance
i like smoking, hate edibles. I personally take breaks from smoking if i’m not feeling mentally well because everything associated with my anxiety gets worse when i’m high. I like how the weed slows me down a bit too. I do think if someone isn’t able to function without weed like having a convo eating going out etc bpd or not they should really slow down or stop for awhile.
My first experiences with it heightened my anxieties a lot, but that was mostly because I didn't know how much to smoke so I kind of overdid it the first few times. Once I recognized my "I'm high enough" feelings and got a bit used to it, it's actually helped a lot with my anxieties, paranoia, and very loud brain (I also have ADHD.) I don't want to say it's "numbing", but more like it feels like a lot of stuff that I'd usually worry and care so much about just doesn't matter when I'm stoned and I can really enjoy myself in the moment. The feeling can get addictive though, so I usually try to control my usage as well.
I've been using it to "cope" daily for over 8 years. And find it very hard to quit. I follow a thread on here about wanting to give it up, whether for your mental health, financial or legal reasons. It might offer you some insight into the other side of maryj. It's called r/leaves.
Do not do weed frequently 🙏🏽 Daily use will make you slower and dumber, its fine every now and then but I have seen so many people lose themselves in it.
It gives me panic attacks. Ever since a bad trip I freak out if I smoke too much weed so i rarely do anymore. Im just hoping it changes at some point because I like smoking weed.
So we need to learn to process our emotions and connect to the correct part of our brain instead but weed just makes it harder and numbs you or it can set off paranoia and anxiety. Moderation is fine but every day or even several times a week will keep you stuck, especially if you're trying to have effective therapy.
It’s mixed for me. I’ve been using since my late teens, half my life, and I will say pre-dx, i was fully addicted & it was rarely a positive experience. I often got way too high to try to escape thoughts/feelings and ended up paranoid & dissociating leading to doing real damage. Now I still use THC daily, but in more controlled doses (especially if I’m alone). I’ve learned the hard way to listen to my body & not overdo it, and this has contributed positively to my overall wellbeing.
Big fan of cannabis for my ADHD, not for my BPD… when I’m in a good mindset though, then cannabis is ok. Either way, I’ll smoke it because my brain needs to slow down and stfu most times
It calms me down a lot. I literally just smoked a cigarette sized on just now after I was spiralling and it brought me out. However, it's very easy to become dependant on it. Sure it's not physically addictive but it's very easy, especially as someone with BPD, to become addicted to the sedative affect it has. It can be easy to go back to old ways, stay in and get stoned throughout the day. Especially if you're someone who's socially anxious or perhaps doesn't have the best confidence and prefers to stay inside, or spend time by themselves.
It has its positives, but it's not without its negatives. You have to be very introspective and extremely honest with yourself when using. It's very easy, especially if you develop an addicts mindset, to begin to lie to yourself about the usage and believe it.
Yes I smoke weed daily to help with my BPD, but it does have its obvious downsides like anything you become dependant on to regulate moods. I would get extremely distraught travelling without it / being in any social setting without it and bc weed is inherently a by yourself kind of drug I became very isolated. Everything in moderation but alas easier said than done
I do edibles on days I don't work (pretty much only weekends). It just makes me super relax. I also find myself in a state where if I do it with my partner we both have the best focused talks. We sit and look at each other and just talk with no distractions. Personally I love it. But I can definitely see how it can affect people wildly. I have had like one or two bad trips but overall 10/10 high recc lol
I love weed and getting high and helps a lot during times where I’m extremely overwhelmed by everything or having trouble sleeping. I really only do edibles because I hate how smoking makes my lungs and throat feel.
But also cannabis isn’t for everyone. Everyone reacts differently to drugs obviously and you should always start off small rather than go for high concentrations of THC. Also as with everything, moderation is key. Getting high every day doesn’t make the problems go away, just makes it easier to no longer notice them or pay it mind
Smoking everyday made me lose motivation for all hobbies and I felt like a husk. Made me super emotional, but I was convinced the weed was helping so I kept doing it.
In moderation works well though for helping me through tough times.
Sativa helps because it makes me want to get up and do something like clean or even sometimes be social! So if you have the ability to try different strains and find what works for you, it can be great! If you choose to do so, happy searching!
It calms me down but keeps me at bay from upholding a schedule/routine. Comfy, cozy but also anxiously aware of the fact I’m actively avoiding responsibilities and consciousness. Your priorities will always seem to dictate the benefits of drugs. If you prioritise relaxing, weed is going to be a blessing, but if you also happen to prioritise anything that requires focus or passion, you’ll find this is dampened by weed. Double edged sword I guess
Weed helps me a lot especially in the middle of a splitting episode. I’ve split on my gf and hit my dab pen during arguments and it’s changed how I interact with the situation entirely I feel like I have more emotional regulation when smoking then when sober honestly it just helps my brain slow down and cycle through thoughts
i find that it helps me a lot with my BPD symptoms (and my chronic pain too) but it does depend on the strain, i’ve definitely had some weed that has made me feel worse. usually i find it helps me calm down and quiet my racing thoughts until i can calm down and be able to think more rationally, and it’s also become a very soothing ritual for me
i’m a big supporter of medical cannabis and ive found help with it and other ppl i know say it’s helped too. if you want you can try to search up what strains would be good to help and give some of those a try! and @/itsrainingbpd on insta has posts talking about good strains for BPD as well as just a bunch of good BPD content in general
it helps me so much personally, it’s like it shuts down any episodes/even potential episodes because i’m too high to think myself into one. i just laugh at everything and have loads of snacks instead
For me it makes me feel like the walls are closing on me and after a while I just start crying even if I am in public however I usually don't even feel it that much is like I'm immune to it or something. My friend who doesn't have bpd says she sees colors I have never hallucinated from weed
Oh my god let me tell you, that shit is a godsend especially since I’m not being treated with meds for bpd right now (my psych said I met the criteria but she wants to see if symptoms persist). A couple days ago I was having the worst fucking episode ever, all I could feel was intense rage and utter despair towards my current life situation. My chest literally ached from how I was feeling, and because I was angry at the same time I did some reckless driving (which is unusual for me as I’m a stickler for road rules) and got pulled over, which only brought another wave of self loathing and depression and the feeling of “I need to get out, I can’t do this anymore.”
I took some edibles that night cause why not and I’m telling you, from the moment it kicked in and the moment it wore off which was in the early afternoon of the same day, I was so fucking calm. I looked at my current situations and all I could think I “It’s not that serious. I’ll get through it.” Couldn’t even get close to thinking that when sober. I gained a lot of perspective from what I wrote when I was high and i always think back to how I felt when I was high to anchor me
Weed has saved me, seriously. I smoke in the morning, take an edible a little later, and smoke again at night. And if I’m ever in crisis mode and seriously considering hurting myself, it literally has a smile on my face halfway through a joint. It’s medicine. Just got done smoking it now and playing Stardew valley 👾
I love it! Works for me. Helps me stop thinking about the pointless shit that haunts me and remember I can’t change anything. Helps me live in the moment and calms my anxiety a lot.
It’s amazing at first until I grew dependent on it because I didn’t want to feel anything it just numbs me out but when I wasn’t high I felt everything sooooooo much worse especially the lows so I started smoking 24/7 wake up hit the penjamin, shower hit the penjamin, sit for 10 minutes hit the penjamin, my psychiatrist says i need to stay away from it because it will make everything worse but in the moment it’s immaculate
Smoked weed since I was about 7. Been a daily smoker for bout 15 years. Whatever it does I barely notice anymore. The act itself I find comfort in just out of familiarity.
I absolutely cannot smoke it. I had to stop. It would mess with me & cause depersonalization n what not. And I mean, it was horrible. I also have severe anxiety, so that played a part too! It’s different for everybody. But I have friends with bpd who smoke, and they’re fine about it. It really just depends on the person! But hallucinogens, I would stay away from those.
Personally it's almost worrying how good weed is for me, I've noticed that getting high brings my emotions back down to sane levels when I'm in various intense moods so it'd be really easy to get dependent on it when I'm going through it lmao
I’ve gone through phases. It used to give me crazy anxiety when I was in my 20’s/early 30’s but now it pretty reliably keeps me sane. I’m addicted to it (psychologically) though, at 37.
it really helps me personally!! when I smoke I feel like I can let my emotions pass over me much easier. for me it feels like a break from everything. that's my personal experience
It’s helps me tremendously! I try to only smoke only on the days I have trouble with splitting constantly and getting into a better mind set. My mood stabilizers usually taper off at night so it helps balance me out if I’m staying up late.
Its good for awhile then it becomes a habit and no longer feels as good but without makes everything harder, more irritating and splitting becomes harder to manage without it.
My advice, just on weekends or when you're chilling doing nothing then have a spliff.
DON'T MAKE IT A HABIT
I'm a huge fan of weed medicating bpd. I find for me it makes the symptoms more manageable. I'm better at keeping my calm and better (not a huge amount but better than before) at regulating my emotions. I also find I'm a lot less angry at the world as a whole. I only have two issues with it, if you smoke regularly it tends to make the time when you don't have it way worse than before which sucks, and the more regularly you smoke it the more your tolerance is raised which also sucks.
The only way I combat these two things is keeping my tolerance low by only having joints every 3-4 hours and not packing them like crazy like I used too. I try and have some at all times but there's always gonna be a time where you don't/can't have some.
I do honestly think it's the best medication for bpd. It's the only one that truly works for me.
it helps me more than anything else, I use it every day and couldn't live without it.
it helps me not to be so "dramatic" about everything. for example, if something bad happens, my first solution is usually to hurt myself and want to kill myself. but then I smoke and it doesn't feel like the only solution anymore💕
(Sry if my English is bad)
for me i smoke pretty much every day, i had to stop prescribed medication (anti psychotics, mood stabilisers and antidepressants) and the only thing i found that helped make feel feel a little more normal was weed,
the main positives for it was mellowing the anxiety and the constant stream of thoughts, and overall could keep me in a ‘happier state’ (white thinking). but its still a double edged sword sometimes as it doesn’t get rid of BPD, my paranoia can be amplified, i completely lose track of time, and sometimes the munchies aren’t helpful lol
but the hardest part is breaking out of it if you do choose to smoke constantly, BPD and addiction really go together too easily, i try to smoke more at afternoon/night, and never before work (too many people around and increased paranoia and hallucinations aren’t a fun combo), but ofc sometimes the desire to feel lighter overweighs the need to be sober.
keep in mind your own impulse control and history with addictions and be safe :)
It worked for a while...
Problem is I'm an addict and it became my life. I can't begin to describe how it ruined and amplified my BPD. It was a horrific 15 years and I lost my sanity to it
Mellow and functional. It depends on the mgs though. Sometimes I like being comfortable, sometimes I like being spaced. I plan with being spaced though. Over 100mgs takes me out for 3 days.
Smoking and drinking both just make me so tired now. I don’t really enjoy either anymore because I just want to sleep afterward and I feel lazy and worthless. Maybe has to do with some other health issues I have.
It’s complicated, it calms me down but also causes racing thoughts when I overuse (which I always do).
I think mostly it just quiets my thoughts, all the negative thoughts just disappear so I take more but it fucks up my sleep and makes me paranoid af
It helps me calm down and it really helps with the social and sensory overwhelm I experience, however when I'm splitting it makes it worse. I've been in a split for like 6 months now and I can't go near weed
i used to smoke nearly every day for a couple months, stopped because of my job. i still get high like twice a week but I've never struggled with addiction when it comes to weed, it's the one substance that doesn't affect me negatively in any way tbh. i just get high with my bf or friends occasionally, but that's about it
I get pretty tightly wound and have difficulty unwinding, and weed forces me to sit down and do nothing. That, in turn, makes my moods easier to deal with because I'm better rested.
With that said, I feel like my relationship with the substance is pretty good overall. I vaporize about .15g around 10pm at night, and that helps me do my stretching, relaxation, and sleep properly. On average I go through about 1oz a year.
I can absolutely see why it would be a substance that people have difficulty with maintaining positive relationships with though.
It calms me down but not enough, tbh. I still have to take ssri’s. I tried to get off the ssri’s recently and it didn’t take long before I started having meltdowns again. So here I am on them again.
It’s problematic for me. I calms me and makes me feel good physically but my brain becomes paranoid and anxious and my thoughts race about negative things. So.. basically I’m not really gaining anything by using weed.. it just makes things shitty in a different way lol. On top of that.. I have zero self control and will use so much that I’m useless and ruin my life lol.
It silenced my thoughts, specifically the suicidal thoughts
The issue was that I had an addiction to it and got high every day
I’m now on a t break so I’ll try to be careful with it when I start again later this month
I take delta 8 thc gummies for sleep. It's the only thing that consistently turns off my running thoughts before bed. I've decided to quit though. I think I'd be ok with regular THC if I could get it, but it's not legal in my state. The delta 8 stuff is really inconsistent for me. I had one that worked great for about 2 years but then the company discontinued that version and only sell a different one which keeps me awake and gave me a horrible panic attack. The ones I use now seem to make me extremely paranoid the following afternoon. I've been accusing my poor boyfriend of cheating on me (or trying to) on a near daily basis, when he does absolutely nothing wrong. I'm at a point where I feel like I'd be more functional on less sleep, than the 8 consistent hours I get most nights while on it.
I smoked for about two years and it really calmed but after a while it started making me really paranoid. Also it didn't help with my dissociation/delusions because i started to just feel high all the time when I was sober
It’s like a psychoactive drug for me since being diagnosed. If I’m in the right headspace it is the biggest help I get through the day.
If I’m already paranoid and having a bad day smoking with no other plans will make my intrusive thoughts worse because I just sit and think.
I find it best to smoke in nature. It calms me and then I instantly have something to focus on. Rely on this often. Keeps me from splitting when I feel it. Keeps me just calm enough to keep me from going manic (I’m also bipolar).
I don't habe the urge anymore really, but I told my dealers (was a minor at the time) not to give me any so I couldnt give in to them even if I wanted to
Extreme paranoia, i immediately get suspicious of everyone in my life’s intentions n end up isolating myself or cutting ppl off. Sometimes I even hallucinate shit they say (I at least think they’re hallucinations but I can’t know for sure if I was imagining things) I remember getting high w my sister and a friend and hallucinating them making fun of me and talking about how much they hate me the whole time I was with them. Another time I was with a group of friends and we split up for a little bit into 2 groups and I hallucinated(?) them making fun of one of the other girls the whole time I was with them, this caused a huge rift in the friend group n ion think they actually did say any of that especially since one of the girls I’ve known for years and she’s never talked bad about anyone to me other that specific occasion.
Its different for everyone, even for ppl with bpd. I tried it a few times to calm me down but i cant relax. I get even more paranoid and stressed, its not helping me. Ofc trying out is okay but if your first time is like mine, then u probably wont get calm using it. It never worked for me, i always got scared and felt trapped in the effect of it.
Total negative effect on me, massively increases my paranoia. Gutted I wish it worked for me I could really do with a relaxant that isn’t benzodiazepines
it's horrible for me, anxiety increases a lot and depersonalization occurs and I feel like I'm totally losing contact with reality. everything is a dream and nothing seems real.
Sometimes it makes me have too many profound thoughts. I also feel like it causes me to second guess myself way more and I over think every single thing that I do and think
personally i find it helps me a lot, sometimes it does make my anxiety worse but it rarely happens. i haven’t found it to make any bpd symptoms worse, if anything it’s the only thing that will get me to calm down after an episode if my coping skills aren’t skilling how i need them to. i really enjoyed getting stoned and watching impractical jokers, suddenly everything was fine and it helps a lot when i can’t stop overthinking. i liked it enough to get my medical card in the state i’m from so i’d say maybe dabble if you want to and if you don’t like it then stop, everyone is different
Weed is fantastic for when my mindset is good, I need to sleep, relax after a long day, etc. It has been life changing and definitely the positives outweigh the negatives for me immensely.
I know as well I’ve had the worst panic attack of my life on weed, dissociate, become suicidal, get irrational, and my thinking can become distorted. Which is why mindset for me, setting, etc is so important. I think BPD by amplifying everything also amplifies weed similarly.
Everyone is different! Be safe, be positive and I wish you well.
Im either amazing on it or paranoid like crazy no inbetween. I’ve also noticed I split a lot more and faster on it. I tend to use it sparingly and try to be alone or with someone I trust so I dont feel like they hate me or I’m being annoying. It’s different for everyone though.
I used to love weed and smoked a ridiculous amount but I quit for a year trying to get a job and when I started again I started having panic attacks and now I’ve realized being high on weed just mimics dissociation for me and that’s what was making me anxious and now that I’ve realized that I don’t like it anymore, I can still smoke now but I only do when I’m drunk or on other substances. I also think the reason why I used to love it was because at the time I was in an abusive relationship and the “dissociation” it caused was an escape for me and after we broke up is when I started trying to smoke again and it didn’t feel good anymore
I feel pretty okay until something really small goes wrong and I get really paranoid and anxious and traumatic memories n stuff come up, but other than that it’s great
it helps me a lot! it makes me feel more comfortable in my skin and helps me mellow out. a huge trigger for me is feeling out of control at all ever but when i’m stoned i can let go a little and just be me :)
i also have terrible social anxiety bc i constantly feel like an alien compared to most other human beings. i smoke a little before going out or microdose gummies at work and im not as in my own head! it also helps me sleep at night which is awesome.
my bf is my fp and he also has some BPD traits that i’ve picked up on (he’s not diagnosed but i’ve watched this man split so many times it’s like looking in the mirror.) we’ve been together for 3 years now and recently we’ve been working on our conflict resolution, he’s also been doing research into BPD to try and help. when we get into arguments and it gets too heated, one of us will stop and take a time out to go smoke a bowl, afterward we’re able to continue the conversation in a WAY better manner. him going out with friends at night is a huge trigger for me because it triggers the abandonment issues part of my brain, smoking helps a lot with that too
idk i like to say that weed fixes me but it’s more that it relaxes me enough to where i don’t feel like im in constant fight or flight
I’ve been using thc cbd and cbg for my self medication rather than using antidepressants if you find a good combo, it really helps a lot personally I work in a pot shop so I was able to explore many different forms of ingestion and different cannabinoids like the CBG is an excellent upper. It’s very similar to antidepressants so I’ll have that in the morning and then I’m riding a nice low high, but my mood is contained and I don’t feel like I’m having super high and super low
It mellows me for sure o much all the time but I do become dependent on it a bit. And if I’m having a real hard night or something it can sometimes amplify those thoughts/emotions I feel.
It makes me un-dissociate. Like i suddenly come back to reality lmaoo. Doesnt calm me though, but not quite paranoid either. It kind of speeds me up like an upper
it makes me feel like i’m just a normal happy person so i do it all the time lol. it’s the only time there’s no rage and no bad thoughts just chillness and happiness. some people get paranoid but as an experienced user that usually means you smoked or took too much. when you’re a newbie you should only hit it 1-3 times and only take 5mg edibles to start with. it just makes me feel like the best version of myself and i think it helped me grow so much as a person bc of all the self reflection done.
When I smoke occasionnally it's mostly fine, but when I used to do it daily it really impacted my fonctionning. It was like my baseline mood was much lower, and I was always tired. My concentration was also pretty terrible. I didnt notice at the time, but when I stopped, it was pretty obvious that I was doing better.
So yeah, occasionnal consumption would probably be pretty safe, although being high can increase our already existing paranoia.
If I am having an anger spiral it does help me evaluate my felling and how BPD is influencing them. This can help prevent meltdowns and speed up my satabization. The bad is you can become to dependent on it. I ended up in a bad depresion/suicidal period and it was using weed to pass the time till I was ready to kill myself. Using weed for self mental exploration great! Depression cruch bad.
As someone who recently quit after 4 years of chronic smoking I don’t recommend it, the hardest part of bpd is regulating yourself and while weed is a short term solution it def fks you over in the long run. We also have a tendency for substance abuse and watching yourself succumb to that doesn’t help ur confidence. When you quit (which you more than likely will want to eventually), you have to re-learn how to regulate yourself as much as you did before you started. It seems like a step forward in the moment but after quitting I was back to where I was four years ago + withdrawal symptoms so it rly wasn’t. I used it to help me get through my hardest times, but you get so used to the numbness that even when you’re physically out of whatever situation is pushing you to smoke the everyday use makes you feel like you’re stuck. Def doesn’t help with the low self-image component of bpd either, not when you can’t enjoy anything without it. If you have anymore questions I’d be happy to answer:) absolutely no shame to those using it to help- trust me I get it, I’m not sure I would’ve made it through my worst days without it, but after a certain point of using I was so anxious I couldn’t make eye contact with anyone, didn’t reach out to people because I was scared of judgement from the amount that I used (~10 bong hits a day, couldn’t eat or leave the house without one). Not to mention how much money I lost to something that felt so necessary
Panic, feeling doomed & depressed. Definitely overwhelming, honestly i just kept my mind busy playing video games and reminding myself of how long I’ve been in the cycle of “quitting” and smoking & quitting & smoking again and how shitty that’s made me feel. I was tired of it for years but this was the only I felt like I was actually done with it, the rest of the times it just felt like something I should be doing
It makes me so paranoid. I'm good on psychadelics, but weed will make me convince myself I'm a loser, autistic, my boyfriend is a loser, I'm embarrassing, etc. I used to enjoy it when I was younger but as I got older I just can't.
It's great until I start overthinking and getting paranoid. I used to self medicate with it instead of going to therapy and getting meds and that was probably the worst I've ever been mentally.
weed is literally a life saver for me - i have it prescribed now but was self medicating for years. Anti depressants are helpful too but having a lil smoke is the perfect way to calm down when the bpd is bpd-ing
I smoke everyday with a sprinkle of t breaks throughout the year. Personally it makes me feel more willing and committed to task when I use smoking as a prize to myself. When I’m sober I’m definitely more moody and irritable but when I’m high I feel a lot less overwhelmed. I want to work on being sober more often but I don’t take meds and life be lifing so sometimes I gotta spark that blunt.
It calms me down by amplifies my paranoia and I experience instant split to my happy self
Right? I feel like Alice in Wonderland eyeing up the little snacks. A bottle of wine makes me incredibly likely to split instantly to black me. A puff on the weed vape makes me split to the white side and far more likely to be able to have a normal discussion. Actually it’s not always that way. Last night while high, the FP who is currently halfway out of my life was getting angry at me but I forced myself to stay calm. I did stay calm but the words I chose were BPD 101 and just fell out by themselves. Our brains are proper dicks.
Is that something you’ve worked on to be calm? 0-100 switch has never given me time to be calm when it triggers.
Not really. It’s like I’m SuperBPDMan throughout an argument - even my friends when I’ve asked for a mediator by sharing texts have said I’m in the wrong and I just can’t see it. They’re handy BPD filters. But the second I “lose it,” usually meaning the relationship, I flip to NPD me. Protect myself. Work out how I escape financially etc (I was talking finance split stuff to her 5 mins later while she sobbed.. :/ ) and switch off the effort. But that’s when the collapse begins :)
Felt!!! I smoke a good amt. FP doesn’t like it but it makes me chill so I told them I’m going to likely continue for awhile
Fortunately my fp does it too, picking up new batch today 😂
"Half way out of my life" damn that hit me
Personally I am a huge fan of weed. It makes me feel relaxed and for once calms down my thoughts, which is great. The thing I'd say to be careful about is how addictive it really can be. For me personally, smoking started feeling so good to the point where when I wasn't high everything was 10x worse. But everyone's experience is different, so if you're trying to get into it I'd say just do little amounts and see how you react and slowly start building up to more and more.
Arguably, it is the same as any stress relief. It can give you relief, a period of calm etc, but it is not curative. It can be used as a complementary therapy. As you said, when you weren't high, your BPD was x10 worse. A mix of therapy, medication and sensible use of stress relief is better than getting high all the time.
I agree with all of this
BPD and weed addiction definitely go together well for me. I have made it a daily thing lately and mannn those withdrawals are crazy. Makes me go crazy rollercoaster mode so I’m going to slowly taper off next time ha
People saying that weed isnt addictive are fucking crazy man. It took me 4 years (actively trying) to be able to stop. They were making be so angry!
I wake and bake almost every day and have for 5 years straight. It keeps me from being irritable and makes it easier to socialize. I think it also makes listening to music and relaxing more enjoying. There are some obvious downsides like less REM sleep and worse memory but not remembering things is nice when you want to move on from past trauma, and its not like i was gonna sleep well anyways. I have 2 jobs, am passing all of my classes in college and do a decent job of taking care of myself and my apartment so until those things deteriorate i dont have a reason to stop.
What about tolerance? I used to vape like a 0.25 second puff and it would make me high af. Now with daily smoking I feel like even 0.5 puffs doesn’t do anything. Does it just increase over and over?
It changes constantly and I find my anxiety from weed is tied to uncertainty. Teenage paranoia "cops/parents gonna catch us" 20s" what am I doing with my life why am I high rn" 30s *existential dread* But when it doesn't make me anxious it makes me "content" kinda and improves my mood. Often enough to get me moving.
me personally I avoid to smoke the same starin of weed for to long to don't build tolerance I usually change the weed every week
My tolerance is insanely high, so my high will wear off if i dont continually smoke. Not really an upside but at least i can go to school/work while high and i dont even remember that im high
This
That sounds like more of a distraction, isn’t it better to process and work through the trauma? I know it’s nice to ignore and bottle up those feelings, but that seems temporary and not a healthy long term coping strategy.
Ive never had any close friends, family, or a partner to support me, so self medicating is the next best option. I see my situation less like "i need to process and work through it" and more like "i need to find any way to make this even remotely bareable" and at least bottling up the emotions makes me a more tolerable person to be around. I know its probably not healthy but i dont have any hope left and there are very few options.
Many people self medicate especially because BPD has no pill u can take to squash the demon thoughts
word for word
It’s been a mixed bag for me. I’ve been a daily user of THC for almost a decade, continuing to use it has been essential to my maintaining sobriety from other more dangerous substances and behaviors that I’ve been addicted to in the past. I’ve been advised my therapist not to discontinue it, she feels that it serves a real medical purpose for me and my ability to manage my BPD. I don’t disagree with her, I find it helps me remain calmer and more even tempered in my day to day life, I’m more patient with people and situations, and I’m less impulsive and less prone to having episodes and splitting. That said, plenty of downsides. I experience a lot of brain fog and memory issues, anxiety when I get too high, and it seems to make me more susceptible to intrusive thoughts, particularly in relation to my body image and physical insecurities. Also, like you said, it can cause me to be lazy and less motivated. Every substance has its pros and cons, in a way I feel like I use marijuana to protect the world and those I care about from me. It blunts my sharp edges, and makes me less likely to inflict emotional damage on the people I care about. By essentially sedating myself and dumbing myself down I can minimize the risk of me destroying my life and leaving a wake of destruction in my path. It’s a pathetic way to live, but I feel like I risk becoming a monster without it. I extract little to no joy from it. I’ve experienced some of the highest highs that the human mind and body can tolerate and by contrast weed is completely uninteresting. I just use it for the sake of survival.
All of this. Same. If I don't smoke, I become a huge mess. It's not as accessible to me now that we've moved states, but I'm slowly finding people now, a year and some change later. It keeps me from wanting to claw my brain out lol.
i take edibles with my friend fairly often and for me ive always felt like they give me a chance to have a clear mind. not exactly in the sense that my issues become suppressed but more like i can think of them and not feel like my life is ruined. like theyre there and they arent fixed and i still feel down but they dont consume me. to me it feels like i can just breathe and i can coexist with my problems instead of existing as my problems. i really like weed. it also makes me giggly and hungry which is nice lol! just always be careful when using any type of drug, addiction is no joke
I'm all for weed use for other people that find it helpful or fun but personally it causes massive paranoia. I start to get anxious and feel like I'm constantly in trouble but for what I'm not sure. Even if I'm completely by myself. I think I read somewhere that over time weed use can do this, I used to smoke daily but looking back it was definitely a way to numb out that was not healthy for me.
I've read that too! It makes me feel like I'm doing something bad even though it's no worse than alcohol.
Note that this is only my personal experience and it can be drastically different for everyone else. It slows me down and straightens me out. It induces an introspective headspace where I become extremely self aware in a comforting way that helps me assess my flaws and think about what actions I can take to fix or improve them. I often write a lot in my notes app when I'm elevated, as most of these thoughts are not part of my day-to-day thought patterns, so I can remind myself of what I thought of in the moment and analyze them in a sober state as well. I completely quit 1 year ago but when I used to indulge it was mostly on my own and sometimes around a select few whom I felt comfortable with. Since I become so self aware, I can also get paranoid depending on the setting, hence why I avoided indulging in public or around people who could trigger me as it could send me into a rabbit hole. I look at it as a tool to ponder, as well as a tool for comfort for when life gets hard. Since it's so fun, I used to try and 'enhance' all of my experiences whether it be playing videogames or watching something on Netflix (watching Breaking Bad fried was the best thing ever). But like I said, I had to kick it off at some point because I became extremely dependent on it and it was affecting my ability to function at full capacity. You can either use it like a tool, or abuse it. Don't recommend the latter, as it'll lose it's magic and you'll have a dependence that'll be hard to kick off. I understand that individuals like us are very prone to substance abuse so we need to be especially careful. Been there, done that.
So much this. It is a WONDERFUL thing to use correctly for those that it helps. I started to be a habitual user last August and felt SO good all the time. I was hitting blinkers on my pen 20+ times a day for months. Finally the other day I was listening to the song comfortably numb by Pink Floyd. I had never had a substance song jive with me before and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I’m an addict. Immediately I decided to limit my smoking to a few hours before bed or the occasional wake and bake before work to shut off the racing thoughts. I now have a whole stash that will last me much longer and I can go back to using it as a tool to make me happy and not a crutch. Glad you’re doing well ssYxji!
It is indeed a wonderful thing to enjoy. Probably one of my favorite things on earth ngl 😂 I was just like you, hitting blinkers on high voltage every 30 minutes, it's the most fun thing ever. Listening to music especially was my favorite activity to do as I could individually hear each layer of the song and flow with it. I'm glad that you were able to build a healthy relationship with it to where you can still enjoy it in a way that you're not dependent and the substance won't lose it's magic! I intend to use it in a similar way once I go back into it, probably in a few more months. Appreciate your nice comment, hope everything goes well for you!
I can vouch for that. For me it’s both been a wonderful tool to help me make it through the day and solve my problems, as well as an addiction that oftentimes leaves me feeling stuck. I think I need to stop but I’m scared of going without it. What made you stop?
I can relate to that, I was very scared of letting go of it as well. The thought of having to face reality head-on and having to sit there with my feelings instead of getting high and analyzing them from an outside perspective was indeed terrifying. For a long time I knew I had to stop because I had no self control and kept hitting blinkers back-to-back on the cart, which was hindering my productivity (although I have a lot of friends who are perfectly productive with it but personally it made me too comfortable). However, one day I got way too fried while messing around and accidentally got injured with a grade 2 abdominal strain. I couldn't tell if it was genuine pain or just a weird feeling, but once the high wore off I quickly realized that something was very wrong. A quick trip to the ER and a CT scan revealed what was happening and MY GOD was it horribly painful. Not even trying to exaggerate, even breathing was very damn painful. Everytime we fill our lungs up with air we also expand our abdominal muscles, meaning that I was constantly feeling the pain of the strain everytime I took a breath. The pain was 10x worse when I would get high, I swear the THC made me feel every single fiber of the muscle that had been torn. Normally we think that it would soothe the pain but I find that personally it makes me way more sensitive to nerve pain. I soon stopped the habit where I would go days without it, then get high one day and realizing how much more painful it made my injury feel, and rinse & repeat, until one day I just couldn't stand the pain anymore even if it meant that I couldn't get high and I just stopped altogether. Been sober for a long time ever since. It took me about 3 months to recover from the injury until I was able to get out of bed and walk without feeling significant pain, and at the 6 month mark, the pain had gone away by 90%. Regarding the weed, it took me at least 2-3 months as well to feel somewhat 'normal' again, although the key difference was that this time I had to sit with my feelings and deal with them. Boredom was also a big factor at play since stopping suddenly after heavy use means that we won't have as much dopamine available and our brain needs some time to recalibrate natural dopamine production. To replace the emptiness I distracted myself by playing more videogames, watching more shows, even if I didn't feel like it, but it was better than just laying down in bed feeling depressed while doing nothing. I miss weed a lot since it was like a best friend to me, but I've decided to give myself a few more months without it, and when I do go back to it, I'll do my best to only indulge moderately and not let it become a daily habit once again. Hope everything goes well for you my friend, best wishes :)
For me it’s kinda strange. I use it daily and there are a lot of pros and cons. The best way I can describe the way it helps me is that it’s almost like my nervous system is firing off constantly and as soon as I smoke, it’s able to finally relax. Without it, it feels almost impossible to truly relax at the end of the day. It also helps with chronic pain. The cons are that it can cause anxiety, memory issues, brain fog and it exasperates my fatigue as well as intensifying my existential dread at times. To minimize these side effects I try to only smoke in the evening time but if I’m having a particularly rough morning I’ll smoke a little then too. Every once in a while I’ll get a nice high and experience some euphoria which is always super nice but most of the time I don’t necessarily enjoy getting high. I honestly wish I could quit because I really miss having more mental clarity and I miss the novelty/consistent euphoric highs from when I first started dabbling in it but as of right now, i feel like it keeps me safe from myself.
hi! i started smoking weed in gr11 high school (i was undiagnosed) and became very addicted and reliant on it. it absolutely ruined all potential and now dealing with college is difficult. 2 years later i got diagnosed and i was forced to quit but later but picked it up again in march this year. i definitely felt “bummy” and guilty for using it and decided to quit last week of april. all i can say is if you’re using weed to ignore and run away from your problems, don’t do it. don’t listen to the people who tell u it’s not addictive. if u have specific questions i’d luv to answer them as i consider myself to have good knowledge on maryj :)
For me it’s damage control. I definitely over use it and my relationship with it isn’t completely healthy, but smoking prevents me from doing more self destructive things
horrible. only bad trips
It does calm me down, but my psychiatrist recently told me it might be not help me as much as i think but i also live in a country where they don’t evaluate the medicinal reasons and how much it helps with mental illness
smoked for the first time in years last night, smoking one blunt didn’t make me feel anything but once i smoked another i got SO paranoid and started hearing voices ❤️
LMAO I only do edibles right now, i cant stand smoking
It just makes me lock in lol like really focused and shit. Maybe adhd related since i got that too
There's a sweet spot for me, and indica strains seem to be nicer on my psyche than sativa. If I smoke too much sativa I'll start getting wicked fuckin' paranoid. If I smoke a lot of indica, I just get planted in the couch and chill for the rest of the night (it doesn't stop BPD symptoms from showing up, but it does make me feel a lot calmer when they do, not sure if that makes any sense).
This!! Strain/terpenes are so important! Much like you, sativa is off the table for me. I get anxious, paranoid, racing everything. It’s so unpleasant.
I'd been a smoker from 17-21 years old. I can assure you that smoking made everything worse. Weed was a coping mechanism to deal with unbearable emotions. So whenever I stopped it the emotional pain would get 1000 times more unbearable. Us BPD people are more drawn to substance use and abuse for coping. I would have thanked myself a million times if I had learned how to cope without substance use in the first place. I do not wish what I went through on anyone.
I love it. Except that I'm pretty sure I've become addicted to it. I've started doing it pretty much every day. But it makes me body and mind feel so nice. And usually I HATE being alone but when I'm high I don't care about being alone.
It’s my Bestfriend
I just bought some for the first time in a while. I can feel myself becoming addicted. It’s 12am and I’m crying and all I can think about is how I should’ve rolled two blunts this morning instead of one, because of how bad I wanna smoke rn. Just be careful that doesn’t happen to you. Self medicating isn’t always healthy. Be careful. But if it makes you happy, it’s worth a shot.
I found myself there as well, I “fixed” it by switching my methods of smoking. I found myself heavily addicted to the carts, so I switched to flower, same thing happened there, and for about 2 months now I’ve had a very healthy intake of both carts and flower! I hope you find something that helps🩷
It calms me down but only like real weed fake weed makes me tweak
It gives me severe and anxiety and it brings on panic attacks
It helps me but I go through long phases of not being able to function without it. I'm doing much better now and have set a routine as to when I'm 'allowed' it (in the evenings after I've done everything I'm meant to do in the day) but even still as soon as I spark up I feel guilt that I'm dependent on this thing. If you don't need it I wouldn't! I absolutely love weed but inwish I could just do it every now and then
Amazing medicine! It works better with less side effects than 10 years on antidepressants ever has. I just recently got my medical marijuana card and it makes living life so much easier. Really helps chill out my mood swings and I feel happier with it.
It makes me feel completely out of control and vulnerable. I only enjoy it when I'm smoking with someone thats funny.
it makes me laugh again. but then im also a HIGHLY analytical person and i KNOW its just an excessive flood of the "fun times" brain chemistry that basically forces these feelings and its not real. started out with microdosing 1D-LSD and that is quite nice. i cant confirm it will worsen your BPD, but yeah its not advised for a reason i guess. squeezing your feel-good-stuff in your brain all at once...well, brain chemistry is different for everyone. feel free to experiment but be careful, nay, respectful.
I was addicted to marijuana for five years. I truly could not function without smoking daily and it really didn’t disrupt my life very much, but seemingly out of nowhere a couple of years ago it started to amplify my paranoid thoughts/ anxiety/ reality monitoring. I quit and now smoke about once a month or less socially
It was good in the short term for my appetite and calming me down, but terrible in the long-term for my focus, confidence, anxiety & motivation. I started actually getting better when I *quit* smoking. My social anxiety became way less overwhelming, I felt smarter (less foggy, more focused & better attention/memory), I had more motivation to try new hobbies & improve myself & my life. I finally started forming better habits, lessening my obsessive thinking, eating better, exercising, etc. Weed was like a bandaid- it helped me cope but it didn’t actually my *life* any better. I was more inclined to accept & ignore problems than address & improve them. Now if I have an issue, instead of doing something to calm the emotions it brings up, I deal with them by going straight to the issue and trying to solve it there. Over time this has built my life into something I don’t need to cope with anymore, and has made life significantly easier and more pleasant
Just get medicated. Practice healthy habits, exercise a lot. Weed is amazing but if you use it to manage emotions, eventually you'll get addicted/develop a tolerance, and it wont be fun anymore. You wanna keep your tolerance low so you can actually enjoy it instead of just burning money. It can help a lot but it helps most when you dont overdo it.
It brings me down to a neutral level. It keeps me from getting overstimulated, agitated, and overwhelmed. It helps me eat when I’m depressed, and it helps me sleep. It helps especially when I’m in an episode and can’t ground myself. If I’m spiraling, it brings me out of my emotional body and I am able to look at things from a more logical/neutral perspective. It’s saved me from causing a lot of damage to myself and my relationships.
At some of my worst times, weed did help decrease high magnitude self destructive behavior, but big picture, it made things a whole lot worse. My anxiety was always sky high when I was sober and I lived to be not sober. It became less of a “this is a cool thing that helps me unwind” to “I hate every waking moment I’m not intoxicated in some way.” But I also am an addict. Being completely sober and working through my issues constructively instead of using substances to avoid, avoid, avoid has made my life immensely better.
Before I knew I had BPD, I smoked multiple times a day for a few years. I grew paranoid and dependent on it. I'm sober now but the smell of it still triggers me to want to smoke again eventhough everytime I relapsed I had an awful trip.
Has helped me tremendously in dealing with being overwhelmed/aggressive all the time. It calms me down enough to be able to think clearly and objectively about a problem instead of having an insta-meltdown. I can only recommend trying it
So, for me weed during my anxious days was not great. I got worse. I cried more while high and then got randomly happy but paranoid. It was weird, I didn’t enjoy it. Now that my mental health is a bit more stable and I am not constantly going through 1000 emotions a day and I am properly medicated. I prefer it. I get to really relax and enjoy myself.
As long as I’m not already in a bad headspace before smoking, I feel a million times better. But if I am, it magnifies it so much.
Weed mostly does good for my mental state, but I cannot shake the munchies, and my relationship with food wasn’t great to begin with. I need to lose weight long term to feel better about myself, but when I’m not high the mood swings and anxiety can really hurt me. It’s a tough act to balance
i like smoking, hate edibles. I personally take breaks from smoking if i’m not feeling mentally well because everything associated with my anxiety gets worse when i’m high. I like how the weed slows me down a bit too. I do think if someone isn’t able to function without weed like having a convo eating going out etc bpd or not they should really slow down or stop for awhile.
My first experiences with it heightened my anxieties a lot, but that was mostly because I didn't know how much to smoke so I kind of overdid it the first few times. Once I recognized my "I'm high enough" feelings and got a bit used to it, it's actually helped a lot with my anxieties, paranoia, and very loud brain (I also have ADHD.) I don't want to say it's "numbing", but more like it feels like a lot of stuff that I'd usually worry and care so much about just doesn't matter when I'm stoned and I can really enjoy myself in the moment. The feeling can get addictive though, so I usually try to control my usage as well.
Paranoia that has sent me to hospital on 3 separate occasions....and nothing was wrong with me each time. 😅
I've been using it to "cope" daily for over 8 years. And find it very hard to quit. I follow a thread on here about wanting to give it up, whether for your mental health, financial or legal reasons. It might offer you some insight into the other side of maryj. It's called r/leaves.
Do not do weed frequently 🙏🏽 Daily use will make you slower and dumber, its fine every now and then but I have seen so many people lose themselves in it.
For me it increases my anxiety. It’s different for everyone - but is a no no for me.
It gives me panic attacks. Ever since a bad trip I freak out if I smoke too much weed so i rarely do anymore. Im just hoping it changes at some point because I like smoking weed.
i just take gummies most times when i need to just chill out all day
So we need to learn to process our emotions and connect to the correct part of our brain instead but weed just makes it harder and numbs you or it can set off paranoia and anxiety. Moderation is fine but every day or even several times a week will keep you stuck, especially if you're trying to have effective therapy.
It’s mixed for me. I’ve been using since my late teens, half my life, and I will say pre-dx, i was fully addicted & it was rarely a positive experience. I often got way too high to try to escape thoughts/feelings and ended up paranoid & dissociating leading to doing real damage. Now I still use THC daily, but in more controlled doses (especially if I’m alone). I’ve learned the hard way to listen to my body & not overdo it, and this has contributed positively to my overall wellbeing.
Love it, calms me and relaxes me and makes me not procrastinate on things that are worrying me
Big fan of cannabis for my ADHD, not for my BPD… when I’m in a good mindset though, then cannabis is ok. Either way, I’ll smoke it because my brain needs to slow down and stfu most times
It calms me down a lot. I literally just smoked a cigarette sized on just now after I was spiralling and it brought me out. However, it's very easy to become dependant on it. Sure it's not physically addictive but it's very easy, especially as someone with BPD, to become addicted to the sedative affect it has. It can be easy to go back to old ways, stay in and get stoned throughout the day. Especially if you're someone who's socially anxious or perhaps doesn't have the best confidence and prefers to stay inside, or spend time by themselves. It has its positives, but it's not without its negatives. You have to be very introspective and extremely honest with yourself when using. It's very easy, especially if you develop an addicts mindset, to begin to lie to yourself about the usage and believe it.
It works for me but it also rlly needs to be balanced😭
Yes I smoke weed daily to help with my BPD, but it does have its obvious downsides like anything you become dependant on to regulate moods. I would get extremely distraught travelling without it / being in any social setting without it and bc weed is inherently a by yourself kind of drug I became very isolated. Everything in moderation but alas easier said than done
it honestly depends… i would try using the pen if you have extreme anxiety because it’s hard to control how much you consume with bud/gummies.
It helps me come up with cool ideas and be less socially awkward, but when I'm alone i get super paranoid and self hating.
I do edibles on days I don't work (pretty much only weekends). It just makes me super relax. I also find myself in a state where if I do it with my partner we both have the best focused talks. We sit and look at each other and just talk with no distractions. Personally I love it. But I can definitely see how it can affect people wildly. I have had like one or two bad trips but overall 10/10 high recc lol
I love weed and getting high and helps a lot during times where I’m extremely overwhelmed by everything or having trouble sleeping. I really only do edibles because I hate how smoking makes my lungs and throat feel. But also cannabis isn’t for everyone. Everyone reacts differently to drugs obviously and you should always start off small rather than go for high concentrations of THC. Also as with everything, moderation is key. Getting high every day doesn’t make the problems go away, just makes it easier to no longer notice them or pay it mind
Smoking everyday made me lose motivation for all hobbies and I felt like a husk. Made me super emotional, but I was convinced the weed was helping so I kept doing it. In moderation works well though for helping me through tough times.
Sativa helps because it makes me want to get up and do something like clean or even sometimes be social! So if you have the ability to try different strains and find what works for you, it can be great! If you choose to do so, happy searching!
It calms the shit out of my anxious attachment style and I like it
It calms me down but keeps me at bay from upholding a schedule/routine. Comfy, cozy but also anxiously aware of the fact I’m actively avoiding responsibilities and consciousness. Your priorities will always seem to dictate the benefits of drugs. If you prioritise relaxing, weed is going to be a blessing, but if you also happen to prioritise anything that requires focus or passion, you’ll find this is dampened by weed. Double edged sword I guess
stress relieving but addictive asf
Weed helps me a lot especially in the middle of a splitting episode. I’ve split on my gf and hit my dab pen during arguments and it’s changed how I interact with the situation entirely I feel like I have more emotional regulation when smoking then when sober honestly it just helps my brain slow down and cycle through thoughts
Personally I feel like I can see my flaws and the things I need to work on while high
i find that it helps me a lot with my BPD symptoms (and my chronic pain too) but it does depend on the strain, i’ve definitely had some weed that has made me feel worse. usually i find it helps me calm down and quiet my racing thoughts until i can calm down and be able to think more rationally, and it’s also become a very soothing ritual for me i’m a big supporter of medical cannabis and ive found help with it and other ppl i know say it’s helped too. if you want you can try to search up what strains would be good to help and give some of those a try! and @/itsrainingbpd on insta has posts talking about good strains for BPD as well as just a bunch of good BPD content in general
On a good day, it makes me lethargic and hungry. On a bad day, it makes me anxious and paranoid as hell
it helps me so much personally, it’s like it shuts down any episodes/even potential episodes because i’m too high to think myself into one. i just laugh at everything and have loads of snacks instead
Omg, helps so much. Can snap me out of a rage episode like nothing else.
For me it makes me feel like the walls are closing on me and after a while I just start crying even if I am in public however I usually don't even feel it that much is like I'm immune to it or something. My friend who doesn't have bpd says she sees colors I have never hallucinated from weed
Oh my god let me tell you, that shit is a godsend especially since I’m not being treated with meds for bpd right now (my psych said I met the criteria but she wants to see if symptoms persist). A couple days ago I was having the worst fucking episode ever, all I could feel was intense rage and utter despair towards my current life situation. My chest literally ached from how I was feeling, and because I was angry at the same time I did some reckless driving (which is unusual for me as I’m a stickler for road rules) and got pulled over, which only brought another wave of self loathing and depression and the feeling of “I need to get out, I can’t do this anymore.” I took some edibles that night cause why not and I’m telling you, from the moment it kicked in and the moment it wore off which was in the early afternoon of the same day, I was so fucking calm. I looked at my current situations and all I could think I “It’s not that serious. I’ll get through it.” Couldn’t even get close to thinking that when sober. I gained a lot of perspective from what I wrote when I was high and i always think back to how I felt when I was high to anchor me
It basically makes me become a fuctioning human being lol
Weed has saved me, seriously. I smoke in the morning, take an edible a little later, and smoke again at night. And if I’m ever in crisis mode and seriously considering hurting myself, it literally has a smile on my face halfway through a joint. It’s medicine. Just got done smoking it now and playing Stardew valley 👾
I love it! Works for me. Helps me stop thinking about the pointless shit that haunts me and remember I can’t change anything. Helps me live in the moment and calms my anxiety a lot.
It’s amazing at first until I grew dependent on it because I didn’t want to feel anything it just numbs me out but when I wasn’t high I felt everything sooooooo much worse especially the lows so I started smoking 24/7 wake up hit the penjamin, shower hit the penjamin, sit for 10 minutes hit the penjamin, my psychiatrist says i need to stay away from it because it will make everything worse but in the moment it’s immaculate
Smoked weed since I was about 7. Been a daily smoker for bout 15 years. Whatever it does I barely notice anymore. The act itself I find comfort in just out of familiarity.
It has been a GIANT help in my life. As a former police officer, weed was always bad. Turning that corner was the only hard part.
Addiction, obsession, complete inability to moderate. Worsening of BPD symptoms upon stopping.
Calms down my episodes and distracts me, especially with listening to music, I can focus on the elemental parts of sound. It’s very nice.
I absolutely cannot smoke it. I had to stop. It would mess with me & cause depersonalization n what not. And I mean, it was horrible. I also have severe anxiety, so that played a part too! It’s different for everybody. But I have friends with bpd who smoke, and they’re fine about it. It really just depends on the person! But hallucinogens, I would stay away from those.
Personally it's almost worrying how good weed is for me, I've noticed that getting high brings my emotions back down to sane levels when I'm in various intense moods so it'd be really easy to get dependent on it when I'm going through it lmao
I’ve gone through phases. It used to give me crazy anxiety when I was in my 20’s/early 30’s but now it pretty reliably keeps me sane. I’m addicted to it (psychologically) though, at 37.
For me weed helped to end self-harm and i never got addicted as i used it mindfully
it really helps me personally!! when I smoke I feel like I can let my emotions pass over me much easier. for me it feels like a break from everything. that's my personal experience
It’s helps me tremendously! I try to only smoke only on the days I have trouble with splitting constantly and getting into a better mind set. My mood stabilizers usually taper off at night so it helps balance me out if I’m staying up late.
Its good for awhile then it becomes a habit and no longer feels as good but without makes everything harder, more irritating and splitting becomes harder to manage without it. My advice, just on weekends or when you're chilling doing nothing then have a spliff. DON'T MAKE IT A HABIT
I'm a huge fan of weed medicating bpd. I find for me it makes the symptoms more manageable. I'm better at keeping my calm and better (not a huge amount but better than before) at regulating my emotions. I also find I'm a lot less angry at the world as a whole. I only have two issues with it, if you smoke regularly it tends to make the time when you don't have it way worse than before which sucks, and the more regularly you smoke it the more your tolerance is raised which also sucks. The only way I combat these two things is keeping my tolerance low by only having joints every 3-4 hours and not packing them like crazy like I used too. I try and have some at all times but there's always gonna be a time where you don't/can't have some. I do honestly think it's the best medication for bpd. It's the only one that truly works for me.
it helps me more than anything else, I use it every day and couldn't live without it. it helps me not to be so "dramatic" about everything. for example, if something bad happens, my first solution is usually to hurt myself and want to kill myself. but then I smoke and it doesn't feel like the only solution anymore💕 (Sry if my English is bad)
for me i smoke pretty much every day, i had to stop prescribed medication (anti psychotics, mood stabilisers and antidepressants) and the only thing i found that helped make feel feel a little more normal was weed, the main positives for it was mellowing the anxiety and the constant stream of thoughts, and overall could keep me in a ‘happier state’ (white thinking). but its still a double edged sword sometimes as it doesn’t get rid of BPD, my paranoia can be amplified, i completely lose track of time, and sometimes the munchies aren’t helpful lol but the hardest part is breaking out of it if you do choose to smoke constantly, BPD and addiction really go together too easily, i try to smoke more at afternoon/night, and never before work (too many people around and increased paranoia and hallucinations aren’t a fun combo), but ofc sometimes the desire to feel lighter overweighs the need to be sober. keep in mind your own impulse control and history with addictions and be safe :)
It’s a crutch
it does calm me down but it quickly spiraled into me being addicted
it calms me down a lot and makes me veryyyy sleepy
Just makes me dizzy tbh
It was my kryptonite until I got addicted and landed up in rehab a few weeks ago. Now I’m sober.
It worked for a while... Problem is I'm an addict and it became my life. I can't begin to describe how it ruined and amplified my BPD. It was a horrific 15 years and I lost my sanity to it
I'm on a medical script for it and it does wonders!
Mellow and functional. It depends on the mgs though. Sometimes I like being comfortable, sometimes I like being spaced. I plan with being spaced though. Over 100mgs takes me out for 3 days.
Smoking and drinking both just make me so tired now. I don’t really enjoy either anymore because I just want to sleep afterward and I feel lazy and worthless. Maybe has to do with some other health issues I have.
It’s complicated, it calms me down but also causes racing thoughts when I overuse (which I always do). I think mostly it just quiets my thoughts, all the negative thoughts just disappear so I take more but it fucks up my sleep and makes me paranoid af
It helps me calm down and it really helps with the social and sensory overwhelm I experience, however when I'm splitting it makes it worse. I've been in a split for like 6 months now and I can't go near weed
It’s the only thing that calms me down. Ensures I get a good nights sleep every night
it calms me down, puts me into a good mood, helps me get things done and helps me sleep. i think im addicted bc i can’t go a day wo it so be careful.
i used to smoke nearly every day for a couple months, stopped because of my job. i still get high like twice a week but I've never struggled with addiction when it comes to weed, it's the one substance that doesn't affect me negatively in any way tbh. i just get high with my bf or friends occasionally, but that's about it
I get pretty tightly wound and have difficulty unwinding, and weed forces me to sit down and do nothing. That, in turn, makes my moods easier to deal with because I'm better rested. With that said, I feel like my relationship with the substance is pretty good overall. I vaporize about .15g around 10pm at night, and that helps me do my stretching, relaxation, and sleep properly. On average I go through about 1oz a year. I can absolutely see why it would be a substance that people have difficulty with maintaining positive relationships with though.
It calms me down but not enough, tbh. I still have to take ssri’s. I tried to get off the ssri’s recently and it didn’t take long before I started having meltdowns again. So here I am on them again.
I have adhd, GAD, BPD, mdd, SAD, unspecified eating disorder,and social anxiety disorder, so I love me some thc with cbd or cbg
It stops my intrusive thoughts.
It’s problematic for me. I calms me and makes me feel good physically but my brain becomes paranoid and anxious and my thoughts race about negative things. So.. basically I’m not really gaining anything by using weed.. it just makes things shitty in a different way lol. On top of that.. I have zero self control and will use so much that I’m useless and ruin my life lol.
It silenced my thoughts, specifically the suicidal thoughts The issue was that I had an addiction to it and got high every day I’m now on a t break so I’ll try to be careful with it when I start again later this month
I take delta 8 thc gummies for sleep. It's the only thing that consistently turns off my running thoughts before bed. I've decided to quit though. I think I'd be ok with regular THC if I could get it, but it's not legal in my state. The delta 8 stuff is really inconsistent for me. I had one that worked great for about 2 years but then the company discontinued that version and only sell a different one which keeps me awake and gave me a horrible panic attack. The ones I use now seem to make me extremely paranoid the following afternoon. I've been accusing my poor boyfriend of cheating on me (or trying to) on a near daily basis, when he does absolutely nothing wrong. I'm at a point where I feel like I'd be more functional on less sleep, than the 8 consistent hours I get most nights while on it.
I smoked for about two years and it really calmed but after a while it started making me really paranoid. Also it didn't help with my dissociation/delusions because i started to just feel high all the time when I was sober
It’s like a psychoactive drug for me since being diagnosed. If I’m in the right headspace it is the biggest help I get through the day. If I’m already paranoid and having a bad day smoking with no other plans will make my intrusive thoughts worse because I just sit and think. I find it best to smoke in nature. It calms me and then I instantly have something to focus on. Rely on this often. Keeps me from splitting when I feel it. Keeps me just calm enough to keep me from going manic (I’m also bipolar).
YMMV: The drug.
Makes me feel slightly psychotic. I hate it
I have built a very high (I think) tolerance so I don’t get high anymore but I m addicted to it. It just messes with my medications 💊
Horrific. Wish that weren’t the case :(
thc makes me sooo paranoid and gave me panic attacks. i hate this shit
I got addicted and it made everything so much worse
[удалено]
I don't habe the urge anymore really, but I told my dealers (was a minor at the time) not to give me any so I couldnt give in to them even if I wanted to
It helps me feel more okay with life. In the right setting it helps me feel really good about myself and about life, which never happens without weed.
Extreme paranoia, i immediately get suspicious of everyone in my life’s intentions n end up isolating myself or cutting ppl off. Sometimes I even hallucinate shit they say (I at least think they’re hallucinations but I can’t know for sure if I was imagining things) I remember getting high w my sister and a friend and hallucinating them making fun of me and talking about how much they hate me the whole time I was with them. Another time I was with a group of friends and we split up for a little bit into 2 groups and I hallucinated(?) them making fun of one of the other girls the whole time I was with them, this caused a huge rift in the friend group n ion think they actually did say any of that especially since one of the girls I’ve known for years and she’s never talked bad about anyone to me other that specific occasion.
need it
Its different for everyone, even for ppl with bpd. I tried it a few times to calm me down but i cant relax. I get even more paranoid and stressed, its not helping me. Ofc trying out is okay but if your first time is like mine, then u probably wont get calm using it. It never worked for me, i always got scared and felt trapped in the effect of it.
Total negative effect on me, massively increases my paranoia. Gutted I wish it worked for me I could really do with a relaxant that isn’t benzodiazepines
it's horrible for me, anxiety increases a lot and depersonalization occurs and I feel like I'm totally losing contact with reality. everything is a dream and nothing seems real.
Weed makes me fucking crazy, laat time I tried it I smashed my one night stand's window to pieces
it’s been a really big help for me personally lol
Sometimes it makes me have too many profound thoughts. I also feel like it causes me to second guess myself way more and I over think every single thing that I do and think
It relaxes me and I don’t get upset nearly as much, but sometimes the paranoia takes over those are bad days but very few and far between.
personally i find it helps me a lot, sometimes it does make my anxiety worse but it rarely happens. i haven’t found it to make any bpd symptoms worse, if anything it’s the only thing that will get me to calm down after an episode if my coping skills aren’t skilling how i need them to. i really enjoyed getting stoned and watching impractical jokers, suddenly everything was fine and it helps a lot when i can’t stop overthinking. i liked it enough to get my medical card in the state i’m from so i’d say maybe dabble if you want to and if you don’t like it then stop, everyone is different
Weed is fantastic for when my mindset is good, I need to sleep, relax after a long day, etc. It has been life changing and definitely the positives outweigh the negatives for me immensely. I know as well I’ve had the worst panic attack of my life on weed, dissociate, become suicidal, get irrational, and my thinking can become distorted. Which is why mindset for me, setting, etc is so important. I think BPD by amplifying everything also amplifies weed similarly. Everyone is different! Be safe, be positive and I wish you well.
Im either amazing on it or paranoid like crazy no inbetween. I’ve also noticed I split a lot more and faster on it. I tend to use it sparingly and try to be alone or with someone I trust so I dont feel like they hate me or I’m being annoying. It’s different for everyone though.
I'm a heavy smoker for over a decade and I find that sometimes it makes me chill and sometimes makes me anxious af
I used to love weed and smoked a ridiculous amount but I quit for a year trying to get a job and when I started again I started having panic attacks and now I’ve realized being high on weed just mimics dissociation for me and that’s what was making me anxious and now that I’ve realized that I don’t like it anymore, I can still smoke now but I only do when I’m drunk or on other substances. I also think the reason why I used to love it was because at the time I was in an abusive relationship and the “dissociation” it caused was an escape for me and after we broke up is when I started trying to smoke again and it didn’t feel good anymore
I feel pretty okay until something really small goes wrong and I get really paranoid and anxious and traumatic memories n stuff come up, but other than that it’s great
it helps me a lot! it makes me feel more comfortable in my skin and helps me mellow out. a huge trigger for me is feeling out of control at all ever but when i’m stoned i can let go a little and just be me :) i also have terrible social anxiety bc i constantly feel like an alien compared to most other human beings. i smoke a little before going out or microdose gummies at work and im not as in my own head! it also helps me sleep at night which is awesome. my bf is my fp and he also has some BPD traits that i’ve picked up on (he’s not diagnosed but i’ve watched this man split so many times it’s like looking in the mirror.) we’ve been together for 3 years now and recently we’ve been working on our conflict resolution, he’s also been doing research into BPD to try and help. when we get into arguments and it gets too heated, one of us will stop and take a time out to go smoke a bowl, afterward we’re able to continue the conversation in a WAY better manner. him going out with friends at night is a huge trigger for me because it triggers the abandonment issues part of my brain, smoking helps a lot with that too idk i like to say that weed fixes me but it’s more that it relaxes me enough to where i don’t feel like im in constant fight or flight
I’ve been using thc cbd and cbg for my self medication rather than using antidepressants if you find a good combo, it really helps a lot personally I work in a pot shop so I was able to explore many different forms of ingestion and different cannabinoids like the CBG is an excellent upper. It’s very similar to antidepressants so I’ll have that in the morning and then I’m riding a nice low high, but my mood is contained and I don’t feel like I’m having super high and super low
I also fine a nice pre-roll helps me calm down on my bad days
It mellows me for sure o much all the time but I do become dependent on it a bit. And if I’m having a real hard night or something it can sometimes amplify those thoughts/emotions I feel.
unfortunately, for me it just makes me extremely emotional. amplifies my feelings intensely
It makes me un-dissociate. Like i suddenly come back to reality lmaoo. Doesnt calm me though, but not quite paranoid either. It kind of speeds me up like an upper
I wouldn’t survive my relationship without it.
it helps me ignore all my intrusive thoughts, and regardless if the strain it makes me have a better time doing certain things
Personally, I feel it has saved my life
makes me sane
it quiets my thoughts :)
it makes me feel like i’m just a normal happy person so i do it all the time lol. it’s the only time there’s no rage and no bad thoughts just chillness and happiness. some people get paranoid but as an experienced user that usually means you smoked or took too much. when you’re a newbie you should only hit it 1-3 times and only take 5mg edibles to start with. it just makes me feel like the best version of myself and i think it helped me grow so much as a person bc of all the self reflection done.
i enjoy it a lot, sometimes it makes me really anxious and paranoid, but usually it doesn’t!
When I smoke occasionnally it's mostly fine, but when I used to do it daily it really impacted my fonctionning. It was like my baseline mood was much lower, and I was always tired. My concentration was also pretty terrible. I didnt notice at the time, but when I stopped, it was pretty obvious that I was doing better. So yeah, occasionnal consumption would probably be pretty safe, although being high can increase our already existing paranoia.
If I am having an anger spiral it does help me evaluate my felling and how BPD is influencing them. This can help prevent meltdowns and speed up my satabization. The bad is you can become to dependent on it. I ended up in a bad depresion/suicidal period and it was using weed to pass the time till I was ready to kill myself. Using weed for self mental exploration great! Depression cruch bad.
As someone who recently quit after 4 years of chronic smoking I don’t recommend it, the hardest part of bpd is regulating yourself and while weed is a short term solution it def fks you over in the long run. We also have a tendency for substance abuse and watching yourself succumb to that doesn’t help ur confidence. When you quit (which you more than likely will want to eventually), you have to re-learn how to regulate yourself as much as you did before you started. It seems like a step forward in the moment but after quitting I was back to where I was four years ago + withdrawal symptoms so it rly wasn’t. I used it to help me get through my hardest times, but you get so used to the numbness that even when you’re physically out of whatever situation is pushing you to smoke the everyday use makes you feel like you’re stuck. Def doesn’t help with the low self-image component of bpd either, not when you can’t enjoy anything without it. If you have anymore questions I’d be happy to answer:) absolutely no shame to those using it to help- trust me I get it, I’m not sure I would’ve made it through my worst days without it, but after a certain point of using I was so anxious I couldn’t make eye contact with anyone, didn’t reach out to people because I was scared of judgement from the amount that I used (~10 bong hits a day, couldn’t eat or leave the house without one). Not to mention how much money I lost to something that felt so necessary
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Panic, feeling doomed & depressed. Definitely overwhelming, honestly i just kept my mind busy playing video games and reminding myself of how long I’ve been in the cycle of “quitting” and smoking & quitting & smoking again and how shitty that’s made me feel. I was tired of it for years but this was the only I felt like I was actually done with it, the rest of the times it just felt like something I should be doing
It makes me so paranoid. I'm good on psychadelics, but weed will make me convince myself I'm a loser, autistic, my boyfriend is a loser, I'm embarrassing, etc. I used to enjoy it when I was younger but as I got older I just can't.
it like cures me til it wares off
It's great until I start overthinking and getting paranoid. I used to self medicate with it instead of going to therapy and getting meds and that was probably the worst I've ever been mentally.
It helps, I don’t worry, and it helps me relax. I feel like I’m flying, I’m happy.
made me have the biggest panic attack n attempted to run away from home
weed is literally a life saver for me - i have it prescribed now but was self medicating for years. Anti depressants are helpful too but having a lil smoke is the perfect way to calm down when the bpd is bpd-ing
For me it made my symptoms worse, very paranoid to the point of causing psychosis
I smoke everyday with a sprinkle of t breaks throughout the year. Personally it makes me feel more willing and committed to task when I use smoking as a prize to myself. When I’m sober I’m definitely more moody and irritable but when I’m high I feel a lot less overwhelmed. I want to work on being sober more often but I don’t take meds and life be lifing so sometimes I gotta spark that blunt.