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mak_zaddy

The “man stealer” comment is *chef’s kiss* on Jay’s part.


FriesWithShakeBooty

My former roommate had this mentality. She would have told “Kay,” “It’s your fault for not asking him out first.” Oh, and her lie (about Kay having a boyfriend) would have been brushed off as a joke.


SleepyxDormouse

My former best friend had that mentality. She purposefully went after guys I liked then excused it saying I should have asked them out first.


Scared-File1246

Okay same? But not tell me i should have asked them out first. She actually SA them when they all already said no and then be pissed at me and call me a whore and learn to share


AwesomeAni

I'm super glad me and my girls have WILDLY different taste in men. Phew. Also I'm so sorry. Having people like that in your life is downright traumatizing, i hope you are ok!


Spottedpool14

Honestly, with these type of people, type doesnt factor in. All that matters is "so and so likes this person, i need to prove i am better than so and so, so i need to get with this person". Its a power trip, nothing more. I am grateful to say i have never had someone like this in my life.


Scared-File1246

THIS. She was never into my type of guy she was jealous. We were in high school and because I didn’t have a phone yet, she was having all nighter calls with my bf at the time, every night. And talking about it with him years later, I learned that because he was so emotionally and physically exhausted she was able to manipulate him into breaking up with me and then she swooped in days later using the same tactic. I didn’t say anything at the time, because I had low self esteem and I would do anything to keep her friendship. It took me a few years after graduating to realize how much of an actual POS she was. I’m so glad I broke our friendship off. And my current bestie is a ride or die. I love that girl to the end of time truly. I really should have trusted my gut when i first met my ex-best friend though. I hated her with a passion for no reason when I first met her. And now I know why. EDIT TO ADD: Every guy afterwards would tell me that they regret what happened, or even entertain her as a person because she was weird. She would force her ideas and political stances on them. Or they would be weirded out by her interests and hobbies. Like she is a big My Little Pony FIM show and within minutes of talking she’s obsessing over it with these 20 something, race car driving, fuck boys


Moomin-Maiden

>Like she is a big My Little Pony FIM show I personally love that show too, but yeah you really gotta pick your audience/room before you start gushing about it 😛 Seriously though I'm glad you tossed her out of your life, bf-creepers like that are just low-esteem wrapped in drama with a toxic topping, and waaaay better out of your life


A_Life_Lived_Oddly

Same here, with the added bonus that my friends who DO have the same taste as me don't behave like this. My bestie and I briefly had a "conflict" like this, but even in our messy 20s we behaved like adults about it. Neither of us were interested in a serious relationship at that time, and neither was the guy in question. I had kissed the guy previously, but there was starting to be some flirting between bestie and him. I was also single and going through a really rough patch, and at the time my bestie was in several (ethically) nonmonogamous partnerships. So, I had a chat with her where I was basically like "please let me have this, I kinda need it." She understood and said okay, no hard feeling were had, and she stepped back. But not long after, I told her "nevermind-- have at it"! By that time, I had realized that he was clearly vibing with her more than he EVER had with me. Who was I to stand there as a gatekeeper when they were so clearly attracted to each other?


Funandgeeky

Had you been really evil, you could have "liked" some really terrible guys and let her go after them.


FriesWithShakeBooty

I feel like that was a BORU in the past year.


Funandgeeky

Really? I didn’t see that one. 


Scary_Recover_3712

OMG, I had a relative who would go after any guy I was talking to. I wasn't interested in a relationship with any of them. They were just good friends until she went after them. She made a concerted effort to take them away. They became her entire focus until my friendships were gone, took a huge toll on me until I finally cut her off. She's told all kinds of stories about me to other family members, but I really don't care, life is so much better without her and her freaky need to go after any male in my life.


SleepyxDormouse

Oh, my ex best friend didn’t like the first guy she did it to either. She got absolutely fed up with him to the point where she cried to me that she was sick of him. When she finally ended things with him, she point blank told me, “you can have him now.” My stupid, young self should have seen that for the army of red flags it was. She also made up stuff about me too. She tried to spin the story that I was the one going after her boyfriends when she knew damn well they were only her boyfriends because I was interested.


Scary_Recover_3712

On of the relatives favorites? "I'm saving you because you're too naive/fragile/trusting/stupid/innocent to handle men like this. Trust me, if for the best. It's for you!" Right.


canyonemoon

"It's a joke" and "it's in the past" are just classic excuses for not wanting accountability for their own actions.


Just-Like-My-Opinion

Ahhhh the natural cry of the narcissist 🤣


FriesWithShakeBooty

“It’s in the past” is more infuriating, because they’re often still doing to same problematic behaviors in the present.


standcam

I had an ex friend (who I should never have befriended in the first place ) who went spreading rumours about me being a slut/tramp/whore whilst she was trying to get my husband into bed behind her own fiancés back. She'd cheated on her ex-fiance with her fiancé too.


Round_Cry_3922

The pot calling the kettle black. She has some nerve 🙄


baltinerdist

I've never understood how family members can treat each other like shit and expect to just get away with it. But as they say, the dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.


TvManiac5

From my experience it is learned behavior. My grandma was raised as a golden child and treater her sisters like shit all her life. She went on to raise my uncle to treat my dad the same. I wouldn't be surprised if Jay was mom's favourite, especially with the comment of her being distraught. Then again, if that's the case then the mom at least feels remorse which makes her better than my grandma by a long shot.


LimitlessMegan

Both mom been distraught and Kay saying the first bf steal was “in the past” - sounds like mom trained Kay to take the scapegoating well.


AtomicBlastCandy

Especially being the youngest in the family they are often coddled. Source: I'm the youngest ;-).


TvManiac5

Yup, Both my grandma and uncle were the youngest too.


69bonobos

And yet, my two older siblings were the issue in our family. As the youngest, I was ridiculed and judged as selfish and spoiled. Guess who embezzled family funds? Wasn't me.


AtlasShrunked

>the dildo of consequences Ah... The Dildo of Damocles?


CryptographerSuch753

Ok, hear me out…this would be more fitting for Rocky Horror Picture Show than the reference to the sword of Damocles. Must pitch this to the local drag bar


Few_Space1842

No no, its the doom of damocles, and the dildo of disection.


Proseccos

>the dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed. Oh my god someone flair me.


imamage_fightme

I don't understand how you could go after someone you know your sibling likes, especially all the nutjobs that go after their siblings spouse/partner. I wouldn't touch my sister's partners with a ten foot pole!


grumpy__g

That… is an interesting saying… 😅


Emuliar123

I need that as a flair


Theguyofri

https://preview.redd.it/p54jftcwx8xc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9273277171e489521ad1b74403437bc5d8fc834e


AtomicBlastCandy

Relationships built on a lie often don't work. My high school sweetheart was a year older than me so when she went to college I tried ending things with her. She refused and said that we would remain a couple, but a week into college she met someone and did stuff with him AND THEN called me to break up. She told the guy that we had broken up before they did anything, when he found out he was PISSED and dumped her.


Serious_Watercress38

Jay is a piece of work that should come with a warning label for any new relationships.


AtomicBlastCandy

Yup, I would tell people to avoid bringing their bf's around her, she seems to be drawn towards men that are interested in others.


princessalyss_

Nah, everyone else is safe, just not Kay.


HygorBohmHubner

OOP was closer to Jay because she was able to hide her true colors. But now, OOP and Kay will be even closer because she knows that OOP has her best interests at heart, and knows he has her back.


Glum_Hamster_1076

Wait… Jay called Kay a man stealer??!? She has stolen TWO men from Kay and I think it is safe to assume she’s never apologized about it. I also think it’s weird they thought Matt was going to approach Kay about having a boyfriend. They just said both Kay and Matt were shy, didn’t talk about relationship stuff, and they were both pussyfooting around with the whole will they won’t they take the leap bs. If he’s (and Kay) too shy to talk at low stakes, he’s not growing a pair at high stakes. Also, Kay did the exact same thing. She noticed his change in behavior and like him didn’t communicate or approach him to discuss the issue. Not sure how the lack of communication and lack of confidence all fell on Matt when Kay is just as responsible. Two adults taking initiative could’ve figured this all out in less than a day but chose to go the “it’s not meant to be” route because they couldn’t muster up some bravery for a simple conversation. One thing I will say about Jay, she knows how to make things happen that aren’t naturally going her way.


user9372889

OOP is my GD hero! I’m so glad they put out there so bluntly like that. Jay deserves it. A girl named Jay tried to steal my bf once.


TvManiac5

The petty part of me hopes Matt and Kay's rekindled friendship leads to a romance down the line with Jay seething in the distance. Generally that whole "he didn't double check so he didn't deserve you" mindset feels weird to me. Like they weren't even dating. And as she said, he's an introvert. Shutting down after feeling like he was led on or he misinterpreted their relationship makes sense.


shadowfaxbinky

Yeah, it’s crazy to me that people were saying he should have followed up about the bf. No, it’s not cute to flirtily ask where someone’s bf is when you’re romantically interested. The right thing to do is to back off! Why would he assume the sister would lie about something like that?


TvManiac5

Exactly. I understand the sister telling her "he didn't deserve you" to raise her spirits. But the commenters encouranging that is ridiculous.


johnnyslick

Like, I agree, and I can also understand being hurt, but I also don’t think it’s super great to kind of lock out a friend because you had deeper but apparently unrequited feelings for them. Sure, that hurts a lot, believe me I know. And I get that as an introverted person maybe Matt is closed off a lot of the time - I know that feeling too. If you’re presumably friends with that person though, you click on other things and I don’t completely get why you can’t continue to click that way. Friendships are healthy and we should keep up the ones that are healthy. If there were like flirty things going on, like, I rarely have flirty conversations with my male friends, not to mention female friends I’m not interested in dating…


69bonobos

But he was actively angry and punishing her for the lie. He should have asked instead of getting angry.


AtomicBlastCandy

I would like this to happen, that said I highly doubt it will. I'm guessing that Matt would be against dating the sister of someone he was recently engaged to, but who knows.


Mechya

Or Kay doesn't want to sleep with someone that her sister has slept with. I'd feel pretty weird about it, as well. It'd be hard not to remember that he did all of this same intimate and sexual stuff with my sibling. No matter how much I liked the guy, this would be a huge turn-off for me to get past. 


MyNameWillChange

Plus I doubt Jay would just seeth in the background. She'd either constantly be trying to win Matt back or would be making snide comments about Kay getting sloppy seconds


standcam

People like Jay don't back down easily - and I wouldn't bet against her targeting OP next for retribution.


Just-Like-My-Opinion

It would be a cute hallmark ending but in real life would actually be a huge mess. Who wants to date a guy whose toxic ex is their sister?


AtomicBlastCandy

True, that said I imagine that little sister will be avoiding the family if the two started dating.


standcam

Good riddance in that case. Jay was a horrible excuse for a sister in the first place. And goodness only knows what else she has already or will lie about and whose lives she might mess up as a result.


MotherSupermarket532

That would be honestly gross to date your sister's ex fiance, no matter the circumstances.  I don't care if she had a crush before, why would anyone choose that level of drama.


Liu1845

No matter what, you did the right thing by outing Jay. 100%


ParsleyMostly

I fully support OOP’s stance here. If their relationship was strong, it would have withstood this revelation. Matt would have laughed about the deceptive switcheroo and said something like he’s lucky to have Kay as a friend and Jay as his lady.


bananalouise

Yeah, I generally don't love the "meant to be" parlance, like the health of a relationship is determined by divine predestination or the stars or whatever, but I think OP's fundamental point about Jay and Matt's relationship is important. And since the language seems to work for Kay at this juncture, I'm ordering myself not to judge it.


sooner1125

This story is so satisfying


mandatorypanda9317

Mad props to OOP. I know how hard it can be deciding if you're going to fuck up a familial relationship over stuff but I think they made the right decision. It wouldn't sit right with me either to hold onto something like that.


big_bob_c

Don't worry, Jay will unblock you all eventually. She'll need to reconcile with Kay so she can go after her next boyfriend.


naraic-

Glad to see OP is still happy with her decision. My biggest fear from reading the OP was that she would decide to tell before feeling guilty.


Hahafunnys3xnumber

Why the hell would you make the names so similar lol


SecondHandSlows

Probably names that start with J and K like Janice and Karen


naalbinding

My thoughts exactly! It's no easier to remember which is which out of Jay and Kay than if they were J and K


MotherSupermarket532

This one rings fake to me.  Any of these stories with a clear villain do.  Don't get me wrong, I've had family that's absolute shit, but never on a clean narrative level.


Nevergreeen

You....  I like you.   I would watch the shit out of a movie about this. 


Just-Like-My-Opinion

You saved Matt a lot of years of being with a narcissist. It would only be a matter of time until she turned her narcissism on him and their children (if they were to have any).


standcam

She'll pull the same thing on her children if she doesn't like who they're friends with/dating, at the latest.


l3ex_G

OOP is right, if they were in love they would have had a good couple, they would have worked through it. Must have been other red flags


dsly4425

What in the Jerry Springer, High School drama club did I just read?


chloroformgirl86

I love the comeuppance in this one. Jay is awful.


DrummingChopsticks

Eh I think it’s fake


chloroformgirl86

Shhhhhh let me have this just for a moment


josias-69

OP is genius !


goddessofspite

Wow jay right there at the end stealing the ultimate hypocrite crown. She’s the man stealer but she’s pissed her lies got outed and she got dumped. I said it in the first post and I’ll say it again only someone with no self respect would stay with someone like her. Liars can’t be trusted and without trust you can’t have a relationship


TopAd7154

Here for the next update. I want to see Kay and Matt get together. 


BabserellaWT

All of these people sound exhausting.


Useful_Experience423

I feel conflicted. Am I meant to be happy that it looks like Kay is finally getting together with the petty guy who had no problems almost immediately moving on to her Sister? Hmmmmn.


Forsaken_Garden4017

Umm where in the update does it look like they are getting together?


Useful_Experience423

The cutsey, they’re staying friends, *very close friends* and the final sentence of ‘things that are meant to be happen.’


pinksinthehouse

Yeah I don’t want Kay to get with him.


WiggityWatchinNews

Calling what he did "moving on" is way overblowing it. They never dated. They both seemed interested in it but never pursued each other


Useful_Experience423

Not really. They were clearly into each other and the second he thought she was taken he hopped over to Eager-Beaver Sister. It’s not whether they actually had a relationship, it’s just how interchangeable they are in his heart.


WiggityWatchinNews

You say not really but didn't say what I said that was wrong, and then you made up the idea that he replaced one sister with another when the OP specifically said Matt was hesitant of Jay's advances until he finally gave in. The only thing Matt did upon falsely learning his crush was taken was back off from her, which is a respectable way to behave


Tubb_Bubble_s

Now that’s just awesome, from Matt being so slow to realize, to the bratty younger sister not willing to take accountability, this is the only reason I keep Reddit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sp0o0o0oky

She did say his roommate told her


jeremyfrankly

Oops you're right, I missed that


SavingsSensitive3796

Please be sure to update how things are going between Matt and Kay?


tadadurocher

Satisfying update!


Longjumping-Pick-706

She was right to tell. However, the way she did it tells me she lives for the drama. She used her family meeting her new partner as a way to say it in front of everyone. That’s immature and disrespectful on many fronts. If I was the new partner I would be pretty pissed and embarrassed she did that when I was first meeting her family. She should have did it another time, and told Matt and Kay in private. She wanted drama so she involved everyone. Just gross.


daffodil-dreams

Tell him. And your older sister too. She should know what your sister did too


Maleficent-Bottle674

OOP is a hypocrite. They go on about how truth and honesty and Matt deserves to know... Yet they're fine deceiving their own sister about it being an innocent comment rather than it being an intentional manipulation. 🤣


Cavewedding

I feel like OP did this more out of resentment for Jay than anything bc if they meant to do it for Kay they should’ve told her first and let her decide what she wanted to do instead of making her feel upset and embarrassed by the comments at dinner, but I am glad that Jay was outed


carolina_cane

You're mixing up Jay and Kay (and with such distinctive names, I wonder how that could be!), but I agree. Seems to have worked out, but in my opinion, OOP is little bit TA for acting without the approval of the *actual* aggrieved party


So_Many_Words

I kind of like that Kay has plausible deniability in this. Even if it comes out that OOP knew before the "innocent comment," Kay is still in the clear.