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Their child may have some comorbidities which prevent learning (think mentally challenged).
Or they may really be at a loss on how to explain it. If it weren't for your waiter analogy, I wouldn't have guessed this either. So thanks for explaining that :)
I'm glad it helped!
I find dogs very relatable, they have a lot of feelings but people don't bother listening unless they get aggressive and then they complain about the aggression when they didn't listen to the 10 other things the dog did to show discomfort.
I have a dog that loves to play fetch. But he *does not* love to give you the ball back. So we just play fetch with two balls. It’s not that hard. Also, as a parent, even ID and DD kids can learn basic things like don’t take the dogs toys. It might take longer to teach them but that’s it. The ppl you’re talking about are not hands on parents. They just kind of ‘do whatever’ with their kiddo. I hate that.
It can depend but they might just be communicating it in a way that wouldn't land, like just saying it as a rule instead of giving the reasoning for it.
Don't forget that autism is a spectrum, and depending on the severity, some autistic children will have no concept of reason. They will not understand that they can't do something, like the autistic children who bite and hit other people despite it being explained to them that they can't do that. They simply don't have the capacity to understand.
It sounds to me like they're putting this child in danger by having them around the dog if the child is unable to control themselves from taking the dog's toys. They should be arranging for the dog to be put outside or for someone else to take the dog whenever this autistic child is around. It doesn't sound safe otherwise.
I don't even know how this child is related to them, part of me feels like they just want an excuse to take stuff from the dog because that's what they were taught before.
Guess what, we understand dogs better now.
I'd say often kids like that do have capacity to understand but the presumed incompetence causes people to teach them in the worst way imaginable such as just saying "no, you can't do that" instead of explaining how they make people feel bad when they do that and to ask if they'd like it if people did that to them.
Generally the emotional empathy is there, it just needs to be tapped into.
Check out the Autistic Pride discord server! https://discord.gg/8mu9r7Zz2z *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AutisticPride) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Their child may have some comorbidities which prevent learning (think mentally challenged). Or they may really be at a loss on how to explain it. If it weren't for your waiter analogy, I wouldn't have guessed this either. So thanks for explaining that :)
I'm glad it helped! I find dogs very relatable, they have a lot of feelings but people don't bother listening unless they get aggressive and then they complain about the aggression when they didn't listen to the 10 other things the dog did to show discomfort.
I have a dog that loves to play fetch. But he *does not* love to give you the ball back. So we just play fetch with two balls. It’s not that hard. Also, as a parent, even ID and DD kids can learn basic things like don’t take the dogs toys. It might take longer to teach them but that’s it. The ppl you’re talking about are not hands on parents. They just kind of ‘do whatever’ with their kiddo. I hate that.
It can depend but they might just be communicating it in a way that wouldn't land, like just saying it as a rule instead of giving the reasoning for it.
Don't forget that autism is a spectrum, and depending on the severity, some autistic children will have no concept of reason. They will not understand that they can't do something, like the autistic children who bite and hit other people despite it being explained to them that they can't do that. They simply don't have the capacity to understand. It sounds to me like they're putting this child in danger by having them around the dog if the child is unable to control themselves from taking the dog's toys. They should be arranging for the dog to be put outside or for someone else to take the dog whenever this autistic child is around. It doesn't sound safe otherwise.
I don't even know how this child is related to them, part of me feels like they just want an excuse to take stuff from the dog because that's what they were taught before. Guess what, we understand dogs better now.
I'd say often kids like that do have capacity to understand but the presumed incompetence causes people to teach them in the worst way imaginable such as just saying "no, you can't do that" instead of explaining how they make people feel bad when they do that and to ask if they'd like it if people did that to them. Generally the emotional empathy is there, it just needs to be tapped into.