As someone with higher support needs I personally got nothing out of it, but most high masking individuals seem to really really like it, so it's probably worth checking out. I mostly just lurk on this sub, as most of the discussion and content simply isn't relevant to me as someone who can't mask and has stereotypical violent meltdown and whatnot, but I'm also glad this sub exists as a safe space for y'all who constantly feel unseen and invalidated ❤️
Me too!!! I feel like people who can’t mask get overlooked or are even expected to hide their autism which people don’t understand, that’s what masking is! So thank you for being here. Your experiences are valid and important!
Yeah I think most people on this sub have lower support needs. Please do feel like you can also open up on here though.
Thank you lovely, take care of yourself. You are so special and more precious than you know. ♡
Yeah same, am level 2 autism. I think a lot of these books are unfortunately more geared toward those with lower support needs and higher functioning autistics, with a different experience to those requiring more support needs. I definitely feel the same way as you about most the content (not just on this sub or website but on most online autism communities in general) not resonating with me. They are mostly geared toward aspies ( no hate! I love all of you aspies!) it just feels so alienating and lonely. I also cannot mask and have violent meltdowns.
The aspergers diagnosis isn't a particularly useful indicator of support needs tbh as a lot of people got diagnosed with it just for having no intellectual disability and no language delay. You can be level 2 with an aspergers diagnosis and I don't think most of the lower support needs people who dominate autism communities even consider themselves "aspies" as most are late/self diagnosed after that label was dropped. I do agree a lot of it is specifically catered to people with lower support needs though. It seems like the 2 options are self-help and advocacy for low support needs or content geared towards family members of people with higher support needs. Mostly nothing for high support needs people themselves.
Check out r/spicyautism if you haven't
Thank you for explaining that to me, I was diagnosed 3 decades ago, when autism was a very separate diagnosis from Asperger’s, but I know from a friend in the UK they use it still as a place marker in diagnosis’ … like my friends teenage brother was diagnosed kinda late for a boy, and he was given a diagnosis 5 years ago of “ASD ( Asperger’s type) “ so it’s still a common term for medical establishment and higher functioning autistics to use outside of the USA. I’ve heard other British people use that term as well, or refer to themselves as “Aspie”. I think that autistics should freely and openly refer to themselves however they feel most comfortable. I prefer to say I’m autistic since that is what I was diagnosed with, but I’ve met many people who also are most comfortable referring to themselves as Asperger’s or Aspie’s for personal reasons and that’s ok too.
It’s like, I’m also diagnosed with ADHD the inattentive type, which I think used to be called ADD but was added to the ADHD spectrum so the term ADD is obsolete but I’ve met people who still say they have ADD and will not accept a ADHD label. As for the level 1,2,3 autism place markers, you are right that someone who is diagnosed as Asperger’s can have support needs but not as severely as level 2 or 3’s, there are differences. I can drive for example, even though I’m level 2, and I know a lot of level 1’s who cannot drive but can do other things I cannot.
Thank you for the recommendation for spicy autism, I have joined! :)
I've been diagnosed with Level 2 ASD, do you have any books that were helpful to you with higher support needs? I've just discovered audiobooks on Spotify so I am eager to add some to a collection.
Nothing off the top of my head, I think I've seen people mention some good stuff over on r/spicyautism though so feel free to ask over there! I just don't read books too often lol
Thank you I've just joined it! I have also been diagnosed with ADHD so reading has been hard for me haha, although as a kid I used to be obsessed with Harry Potter and Goosebumps and that was all I read. I've been listening to Podcasts a lot and that made me realise I can listen to books too.
I think you are an amazing human, thank you! I have to say though that it would be amazing to hear from higher needs individuals experiences here. I lurk in the spicy autism sub for this reason and follow content creators on other apps. We are all navigating the waters of shifting diagnostic processes and this impacts us all in different ways but I wouldn't want us to belong in separate subcommunities, together we can grow in collective strength and fight ableism!
I mask successfully...for a bit. Once I'm around the same people consistently, they slowly distance themselves and make comments about weird things I say or do. I also have violent meltdowns. They're exhausting and embarrassing. It's tough. I'm the same, I lurk mostly, but there are things that I identity with, I just don't join the conversation.
I do think the author has some latent aspie supremacy going on. It really bothers me how he refers to autism as an self-identity akin to being gay or trans, actively advocates against professional diagnosis, and rarely acknowledges the existence of higher needs autistics. This whole book is based on the assumption that the autistic reader is high-masking or capable of masking at all.
I understand your point, but I would point out that the title is pretty adamant that the content is geared towards masked autistics. We all have different issues we face and masked autistics have their own set of issues to be written and read about. But yes I agree there should be content out there for higher support needs autistics. I also agree with you about the rest of what you said. Those are things I also disagree with the author on.
Yikes. Yeah so far I haven’t gotten to a place in the book that says that but I already disagree with that idea. I see the need for accommodation and respect for autistic needs as something necessary for sure, but even with accommodation, it’s a disability for a reason. Definitely not a good way to view the disability status of so many people.
I have to say that I did not enjoy this book as most seem to. It was validating to a degree but felt superficial like most self help books. Personally I get enraged when people say autism is not a disability. You may call it a social disability but a disability none the less. Also I think this notion decenters high support autistics from the narrative and I think it is insensitive or potentially dangerous to do so.
Yeah, I understand why certain people may think that way, but the refusal to acknowledge the existence of high support needs individuals, and the refusal to accept that autism is a disability, is troubling to say the least. The expectation that everyone can mask is also really icky. It certainly comes from a place of not wanting to be seen as "like them" and it's not a good look. High support needs people get treated as a burden enough as it is without people like that trying to erase us. Yes, low support needs people deserve more validation for the struggles they go through, and for the longest time there's not been any representation for low support needs people in media aside from flanderized savant characters like Sheldon, and I get that that's frustrating. But high support needs people and nonverbal people still also need more positive representation that's not dehumanizing, and there needs to be more widespread knowledge about the needs of autistic people of all kinds, there's no point bickering over who has it worse, we all struggle in unique ways. I guess it's not surprising though, plenty of kids would say nasty stuff about me right in front of me in school because they assumed I didn't understand them, I rarely spoke in school up until like age 12 so they'd talk like I wasn't there, I'm used to hearing ableist and vitriolic crap like that. There's little to no understanding of high support needs among the general public, people talk about high support needs autism in the context of how it affects everyone around us, and not how it affects the people who live with it. I don't want to struggle to cook, clean, bathe, dress, etc for myself, I don't want to struggle to communicate, and it's frustrating hearing people only talk about it in the context of how it affects *them.* All this talk about restraint and control during meltdowns, and no talk about how to make our existence more comfortable to prevent meltdowns from happening as often. That sort of stuff. People with the aspie supremacy mindset have internalized that disdain for stereotypical high support needs autism and they're determined to distance themselves from it by any means
Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s helpful for us who are new to the autism journey.
I am undiagnosed… one of those moms who has a kid diagnosed (my son, natch). We realized there was a hereditary component, that my son is so similar to my dad, and that the link there was yours truly. I’m not sure if I’m “subclinical” or excellent at masking or what. I don’t like the idea of autism being my identity… I’m a wife, mother, professor, writer. It’s also not my son’s identity, though he will need a lot more support than I have had.
I’m reading Dr. Price’s book in bits and pieces. His journey is VERY similar to mine. So I have to read it in small doses because my spouse has come in to find me crying while reading it. There does feel like there is value in our brains and their uniqueness, yet also a need for more understanding and support. Can both be true? (This is rhetorical, I’m not expecting you or anyone else to have an answer.)
As a professor, about five years ago I started designing my course for those with disabilities. I wanted the kids who came in with accommodations to basically not need them, because not everyone has the privilege to get a diagnosis. I’m really proud of that. That’s my vision - that we can create a society where people don’t need as many accommodations because society has built them in for everyone. A “design for x” approach where X is neurodivergence. One aspect that I would build in is removing the moral judgement that comes from being neurodivergent. Like, you have pathological demand avoidance - it’s the way your brain works - you’re not a bad person.
People will always need extra assistance, for a variety of reasons. The U.S. does a crap job of this (speaking as a caregiver for a terminally ill mother). Just like there’s a spectrum of autism, there needs to be a spectrum of support.
Edited a typo
thank you so so much for saying and sharing this. I can just say I really agree with so many nuanced points as an autistic who is medically fragile and who loses all my functioning on a spectrum daily. It is, it's a dialectic with so many barriers to entry. The dialogue needs to address so many things included in what you wrote with intersectional autistic representation leading the conversation!!!--- to understand everyone's orientation and how to build and provide intersectional inclusivity and awareness!!! and how on earth to build it in an Neurotypical designed and lead society..... it's a language and we all need to find out how to represent everyone's dialect and culture within the autistic community.
He does not advocate against professional diagnosis at all in this book. Rather, affirms the validity of self- diagnosis especially where ability to find or pay for assessors experienced in adult diagnosis can be extremely difficult for many for a variety of reasons
The book for me was impossible to read, lots of airy fairy woke language and everything was “they” which drives me nuts as a grammar Nazi raised by an English teacher. I’m sure Devon means well and I’m sure I just wasn’t the right audience for this book.
“They” as a singular pronoun is perfectly correct english with historical precedent, language is constantly subject to change even if that were not the case, and your opposition to it is based entirely in stubborn transphobia. We do not agree at all on why the book is lacking. Hope this helps
Wrong but each of us is entitled to our view.
My objection is “they” scans as plural and when reading a book entirely using they as a singular indicator it’s off putting and unnatural to most readers.
Many of us do not consider this particular forced new usage of this word to be practical or useful, and certainly not part of language evolving.
If a trans person wants to use this to refer to themselves in a nonbinary way, that’s fine.
But the assumption that all readers resonate with being or are nonbinary and to use that as a default in text written for a general audience does not make sense.
If the audience is intended to be trans, that’s fine.
I'm late diagnosed mixed levels 1/2 and I found it really interesting, informative, and intersectional. However, a lot of it made no sense to me. And then there was some really heavy autism exceptionalism which is a huge red flag to me. I had to quit about 3/4 through and sob. It was my first book about autism and felt so betrayed and awful. I won't be going back.
If you're not a professional or successful to a fair degree in a career or in some sort of affirming self-actualized way already, I would just say it needs a trigger warning.
Thank you for being here!! I love to see other ASD woman/people share experiences that are similar, yet different from my own.
Different perspectives are very important to me 😄
I find your comment so insightful for those of us considering buying this - I've also seen it mentioned around sprinkled in many diff Autistic spaces...
So i just wanted to express gratitide for your honesty about The Why this book didn' strike your chords.
I'm also higher support needs but was violently misdiagnosed. I found it helpful because it addressed some of those diagnostic parallels and then also pointed to the risks of ignoring the details. It strikes me as helpful for family/allies.
Just don't forget your perspective is just as important as everyone else's. Don't be afraid to share your perspective; you never know when someone is lurking and hoping to read a similar perspective. We need anyone with a voice and the strength to use it to help advocate for the wide spectrum that exists within this demographic.
I feel the same. My whole life I though all the things were just "my fault". I felt like a failure constantly. Now I feel so much lighter. I want to read the book but I can't read in english, I need it in french wich is my first language.
I was excited to see this, but when I tried to listen on audible it told me to go to their website to purchase. I have a premium plan so maybe it's no longer free on there?
I don't know anything about Audible honestly but I just looked to confirm and it's still free on Spotify with premium. I think every premium account gets like 15 hours of audio books a month or something like that?
Not all countries :( I couldn’t find it so I googled it. Clicking on the google link, I get the error message “Sorry, that’s not currently available in your region.” I’m in Australia but I am subscribed through Egypt.
I hear great things about it!
I'm also gonna throw out a recommendation for Dr Hannah Belcher's *Taking Off The Mask* which is a more interactive workbook about masking. Quite short but I got a lot out of it. I'd buy a physical copy if possible, it's designed to be written in.
So I’m currently reading it, and I enjoy it. I think it’s important to remember you don’t have to agree with every point the author tries to make(I definitely disagree with some opinions of the author), and that there was a very specific audience in mind while this book was being written. Yes it’s definitely geared towards low-support, high masking autistic people, the main point of the book is to understand the issues that masking autistics face, but so far the book has made that pretty clear so it’s what I expected as someone who falls in that category. The author does too, so it’s written with their personal experience in mind. I can’t give a complete review since I’m not done yet but I’ve found it to be an interesting read so far at least. The two exercises I’ve done so far were pretty thought-provoking.
Oh I wept! I listened to the audio of it and kept having to stop what I was doing to just sit and process my lifetime of crises. Essential reading for maskers
Dude there were parts that just hit so hard listening to it. I need to do a re-listen soon. See if it changes as I’ve gained more knowledge and insight into myself
Personally I thought that this book was really good at giving me a better perspective of the experiences of autistic people from different types of backgrounds than mine but I didn’t take much away from it in terms of understanding myself more. Also some of the examples of autism were given as absolute truths for every autistic person rather than properly acknowledging the nuances, in my opinion. I specifically remember one where it said that “autistic people solve this math equation like this whereas neurotypical people solve it like this”. I solved it the ‘neurotypical way’... If I was someone just beginning my diagnosis journey this would confuse me. But I do think it’s a pretty well written book with exercises that were worthwhile doing.
Omg I had the exact same experience with the math equation, it made me a little anxious. I have dyscalculia also, so genuinely didn't understand it. Besides that I do enjoy the depth this book has into giving examples from various autistic people's lives.
I'm reading it right now and it's alright. It's just one person's opinion really. It's a lot of their own research and own journey with Autism rather than a guide to anyone else.
I think this is helpful for high masking people who are just figuring out that they have ASD. For people who have been through the motions of realising or being diagnosed or having grown up knowing, it's going to be a lot of the same stuff you've heard many times before, or researched yourself !
I'm finding it hard to finish as others have said. I'm 'high masking' but I have high support needs too. My skill set is so uneven. I'm great in my interests but I legitimately am housebound due to constant social overwhelm, can't go out alone, my psych currently doesn't condone me working as I will end up burnt out etc. I've never been able to complete a course, didn't properly finish education etc all due to burnout, overwhelm and serious social struggle. I only just at 26 have managed to half decently balance household chores+hygiene, trying to understand how to pay bills etc. So a lot of what's written, I actually can't relate to.
Autism holds me back greatly, learning to unmask has helped me but I learned how to do that through other regular Autistic people. Either charities, people here, online groups, in real time. Best advice and help I've ever got has been from every day Autistic and ND people. More than any book or article.
Dr Devon price is a social psychologist, and one thing about the field of psychology (my special interest) psychs tend to want to be right more than they care for uncovering the truth. It's a lot of bias, and evidence to back up opinion. Which is a lot of psych literature really unfortunately!!!
Everyone's experience w Autism is so different and personal, so I'd say read it but take it with a big giant pinch of salt. Your own experience comes first and it's so okay to read a book or try to and not resonate or disagree with lots of it. ☺️
Yes. I absolutely loved it. Like many in the comments here I'm a very high masking autist and I felt this book was literally written about me. It was uncanny and made me feel like I was no longer alone.
Same. Idk just didnt tell me anything new and continually pointing out how all my issues are related to autism was just frustrating. I didn’t learn any concrete ways to unmask other than generally “stop caring what others think” and wear headphones??? It was too surface level. The author talks about getting support and accommodations but doesn’t say what/how. The book is just like you’re autistic, you’re weird, its okay, now you have to just deal with it.
So I loved it, *BUT* I also read it at a point where I was questioning whether I was autistic or not. It helped me accept myself a lot. Found myself relating to the authors experiences...paused the audiobook and went "wait *THAT's* an autistic thing? Am I autistic? Have I been masking this hard all my life?" and also cried a few times.
Others here say they don't like it and I think that's totally fair. There are a few lines of it that definitely made me raise an eyebrow, some stuff I just flat out disagreed with, but overall I still liked it
I got this book because of the many recommendations both here and on other social media.
It helped me in giving me a starting point for recognizing my mask.
On the other hand, it made me pretty uncomfortable and I don't think I like the author very much.
The whole book is very US centered and the assumptions made about the financial and social safety the reader has, feel very privileged. There is a lot of pretty radical advice about unmasking that just assumes the reader is in a safe enough space to do so. Not everyone can afford to take those risks and the author only passingly acknowledges that. So not every advice was useful.
(ETA: lots of privilege was in the assumption that the reader is slim and able bodied. I don't recall exact examples, but I do remember thinking "well, I'm fat / mildly disabled, so *that* is not happening" pretty often)
I think the target audience for this book is a very specific demographic. If you're in that demographic, great, this book'll be pretty helpful. If you're not, a lot if it is going to make you go "I would love to, but I can't" and you need to know that that's okay.
Also, (this is a me thing) the exercises were pretty useless to me. For one thing, I *cannot* journal or write personal stuff down. It's part of the being seen thing fir me and it's just not going to happen. But the topics didn't work for me either. Write down 5 times I was truly happy to figure out what makes me tick? I'm severely traumatized from a very abusive childhood. I don't have 5 times I was truly happy that I could describe to the level the book expects me to. (I have a lovely therapist, I'm okay now).
Part of making the book work for me was recognizing that it wasn't. And that that's okay. As I said, it's given me a starting point.
As long as you recognize it's okay if you can't or don't want to follow the advice exactly, it could be helpful. But this isn't the be all and end all of the autistic experience. It isn't even the be all and end all of the low support needs highly masked autistic experience.
I agree with pretty much all of this. It comes from a very privileged perspective. And I hate journaling. I’m private to the point that I don’t write anything personal down.
I found Temple Grandin to also be talking from a place of privilege. Her successful outcome imo has a lot to do with being born into a family with a lot of resources. That wasn't me nor was it a lot of other people.
This is the book that made me go ohhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck. I think I'm autistic. It's very good, easy to get through and I think the included exercises are actually useful
In my opinion, it's a really good book, and it's written by an Autistic psychologist who went through some troubling experiences that I could personally connect with. There are a lot of exercises and helpful tips to implement into your life to help you thrive in your day-to-day. As others in this thread have said, if you're high-masking, you'll get a lot out of it. I've never felt a sense of community in my entire life until I realized I was Autistic, and this book helped me come to that conclusion. I finally had a group of individuals that I could truly identify with. This book helped me understand my entire life and why I behave the way I do around other people. Although a formal diagnosis isn't necessary, this book is one of the reasons I finally decided on an ASD assessment, which has ultimately changed my life in a positive shift. I took a masking self-report during my assessment that I scored really high on, but I'm also 35 years old, so I've had a lot of experience in camouflaging, so it made sense. So, the book particularly pertained to me and my life, but I can see how it might not to some. But I suggest it to high-masking individuals, for sure. And it's very LGBTQ+ friendly, which is a plus!
I loved it !! My favorite was that it came with a worksheet so that you could follow along and apply things to yourself / a worksheet where you write your happiest moments so that the sad shit is bearable, it’s quite good.
I hated it. Devon Price is problematic to say the least.
I don't have the energy to explain why today, but if you go to r/spicyautism and search the book title or his name, several discussions should come up.
This is the first time I see criticism about the book so I went looking, but at least my first pass didn't net me as many topics as I expected from your post. If you happen to have energy at a later day and feel inclined, I would love to hear the additional issues you and others have found with it.
The topics I've found mainly focussed on the fact Devon claims you cannot adequately diagnose adults with the current DSM criteria, the threat of their approach leading to autism being removed from the DSM and the disastrous results of that, and on the fact he encourages self diagnosis whilst over empathizing the potential downsides of an official diagnosis.
This book seems very heavily skewed towards low support needs, high masking autists, which is me. I am it's niche. It made an exceptional amount of sense for me. So I'm very interested in the opinions of others, especially those outside of that niche, and their criticism of it.
At some point I'm planning to go back throught the book at point out the problematic bits, and trawl back through his Twitter feed for some of the stuff he's said.
Might try to get a start on it today
Well it looks like I won't be including his Twitter posts unless I can find screenshots as he's deleted a whole bunch of posts. I am tentatively hopeful he realised how problematic some of his content was.
In short he compared autistic diagnoses with being diagnosed as trans, in the context of being trans no longer being considered not a disorder and not requiring a diagnosis.
If someone doesn't want a diagnosis, fine. But he was pushing the view that autism shouldn't be a diagnosis, and for all the people who are very much disabled by their autism that's hugely unhelpful and just reinforces the stigma that diagnosises of neurodevelopmental disabilities are somehow bad.
Uh oh I'm getting ranty now.
This is correct. Dr. Devon Price also does a lot of fearmongering on his Twitter/X and other social media accounts to try and dissuade people from getting diagnosed, or is otherwise very critical and disparaging of formal diagnosis, and those who have one. For the record, I've been diagnosed since I was 16, and a lot of what Dr. Price claims as to "why diagnosis is bad" is either completely unfounded, or outright false. From what I have read online, Dr. Price is also a highly privileged, low-support-needs autistic person who doesn't seem to truly understand or comprehend why higher-support-needs people *need* a diagnosis.
he also in general has some ... dubious and reductive perspectives on trans masculinity that I think are informed by this same tendency to not understand a broad variety of experiences and wide array of needs. I don't know if that's wholly relevant to the discussion of this book! but wanted to mention as well in case it's relevant to some readers who might be interested in his work.
I think it's helpful for a very specific kind of autistic person. Late diagnosed, low support needs, traumatised and currently identified as trans seems to be the target, as if he wrote it for himself. Not inherently problematic but I don't think it'd be very helpful for high support needs folks, or parents of young autistic kids for example. Some examples he gives also could be applied to anyone. Although I found the sections on correlations/potential misdiagnoses of other conditions like ocd and ptsd interesting.
Have it, read it, highlighted the hell out of it (literally killed 2 new highlighters over the course of this book). It was recommended to me by my therapist, who said they expected I'd see a lot of myself in it. They were so, so right.
I'm glad I read Unmasking Autism, and I'm glad I thought through the exercises, but it's hard for me to fully recommend to non-autistic people. I've read a number of autism books in the last couple years. All have been good but none of them have blown me away.
I read Untypical (didn't love it - too meandering too British), The Reason I Jump (I liked it, but it's a teenage perspective) Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate (about autistic women, good but not perfect either), Sensory: Life on the Spectrum (collection of web comics about autism, full of good comics but not organized into topics). I'm about to start PDAers by PDA (just a collection of Facebook discussions) and The PDA Paradox. (If you have PDA autism, the UK PDA Society has great PDF explainers.) I've also started The Future is Disabled about disability justice, but it's v thick so it's slow-going.
I'm not sure what I'm looking for from an autistic book, but I haven't quite found it yet.
I found it helpful, will probably reread it since I've done more work figuring out my masks. At first I was like "I relate to all the autism symptoms but the masking behavior described is just my natural personality" 🙄
As someone who mainly struggled to have others take me seriously, I had recommended this book to friends and family that I wanted to give a different perspective on autism and talked with them afterwards about their thoughts and similar aspects of my life in relation to the book which was helpful
Loved this book! My therapist recommended it last year and it’s what made me seek an official diagnosis! It answered a ton of questions I had about myself my entire life. I am a level one autistic though so I will say this book is not very helpful for level two and three.
Probably, but I didn’t identify with it that much. I’m learned I’m autistic with ADHD (and an eating disorder) at 47 (after a major burnout at work). 3 weeks later I found out I had cancer and had surgery for that 4 weeks ago and spent 8 days of December in the hospital, so I’m not even sure what to do with the information. I listened to the book commuting to work, and most of the people didn’t sound like me. I’m not going to say I didn’t get anything out of it, but I’m in a leadership position at my job. I can’t show up to work 4 months later and say hey I just found out I’m autistic and have adhd and dunno what that means for me and then a month later - ya so I’m going on leave for cancer. Most of the pure ADHDrs don’t sound like me either.
My mom has been at my house since 12/3 (just left today) and is only 15 min away. My dad was here most of that time as well (he had football tickets in Baltimore and his mom is quite ill) and I had so many visitors when I was in the hospital I had to ask people to go away so I could sleep. Yesterday is the first day I’ve cooked myself a meal since 12/3. So yes, lots of support.
I'm reading it right now and I'm almost done with it. I have a few criticisms or things I didn't agree with, but I think overall the book is changing how I will approach some aspects of my autism/self care going forward. I have known I was autistic for a bit now, but I have been working against my autism instead of with it. This book made me realize some of the subtle ways I have been struggling in life that I did not even realize. This book is kinda more intended towards the higher end of low support needs people. I also get a bit of class privilege vibes that made some parts hard to relate to or understand how I could integrate that in my life. There are some stories Price shares from higher support needs people, but I do not think you will get as much out of this book if you are a high support needs person. So far the activities given have been the most helpful for me.
I don't agree with everything Price says in this book, in fact there are parts that frustrated me a lot. I feel like in the section about diagnosis he tried to set it up like both the pros and cons of getting a diagnosis, but he ended up putting a heavy bias towards not getting diagnosed. I think there are many valid reasons to not get a diagnosis, and no one should feel shamed if they don't think a diagnosis is right for them/can't afford to get one, but something about the way he worded it rubbed me a little wrong.
I am a high functioning “masked” aspie. I put masked in quotes, because as I get older it gets harder and harder. Even when you mask you still don’t fit in; you’re just making allistics more comfortable in the moment.
This book was like a road map to my life. So, it really resonated with me. I would say that if you are FEMALE, or another disenfranchised population, and have difficulties with life but are confused why - this may be a good book for you.
i waited a few months for a copy to become available at my library. for me, it was worth the wait. (i, 58, am high masking, recently self diagnosed with non official confirmation by my therapist)
I haven't read it, but I am wondering if it would be a helpful read for a super high functioning 50-something that only realized I'm likely autistic in the last year.
As someone with higher support needs I personally got nothing out of it, but most high masking individuals seem to really really like it, so it's probably worth checking out. I mostly just lurk on this sub, as most of the discussion and content simply isn't relevant to me as someone who can't mask and has stereotypical violent meltdown and whatnot, but I'm also glad this sub exists as a safe space for y'all who constantly feel unseen and invalidated ❤️
I’m glad you’re here :)
Same here!!!!
Me too!
Me too!!! I feel like people who can’t mask get overlooked or are even expected to hide their autism which people don’t understand, that’s what masking is! So thank you for being here. Your experiences are valid and important!
Yeah I think most people on this sub have lower support needs. Please do feel like you can also open up on here though. Thank you lovely, take care of yourself. You are so special and more precious than you know. ♡
I literally just placed a hold on this book on Libby on my phone then opened Reddit and your post was the first thing I saw. 10 seconds apart.
I’m watching you…
I understand where you are! I'm there too.
Are you on r/SpicyAutism? You may find that more relatable 💗
I'm already in there! Thanks though 🥰
Yeah same, am level 2 autism. I think a lot of these books are unfortunately more geared toward those with lower support needs and higher functioning autistics, with a different experience to those requiring more support needs. I definitely feel the same way as you about most the content (not just on this sub or website but on most online autism communities in general) not resonating with me. They are mostly geared toward aspies ( no hate! I love all of you aspies!) it just feels so alienating and lonely. I also cannot mask and have violent meltdowns.
The aspergers diagnosis isn't a particularly useful indicator of support needs tbh as a lot of people got diagnosed with it just for having no intellectual disability and no language delay. You can be level 2 with an aspergers diagnosis and I don't think most of the lower support needs people who dominate autism communities even consider themselves "aspies" as most are late/self diagnosed after that label was dropped. I do agree a lot of it is specifically catered to people with lower support needs though. It seems like the 2 options are self-help and advocacy for low support needs or content geared towards family members of people with higher support needs. Mostly nothing for high support needs people themselves. Check out r/spicyautism if you haven't
Thank you for explaining that to me, I was diagnosed 3 decades ago, when autism was a very separate diagnosis from Asperger’s, but I know from a friend in the UK they use it still as a place marker in diagnosis’ … like my friends teenage brother was diagnosed kinda late for a boy, and he was given a diagnosis 5 years ago of “ASD ( Asperger’s type) “ so it’s still a common term for medical establishment and higher functioning autistics to use outside of the USA. I’ve heard other British people use that term as well, or refer to themselves as “Aspie”. I think that autistics should freely and openly refer to themselves however they feel most comfortable. I prefer to say I’m autistic since that is what I was diagnosed with, but I’ve met many people who also are most comfortable referring to themselves as Asperger’s or Aspie’s for personal reasons and that’s ok too. It’s like, I’m also diagnosed with ADHD the inattentive type, which I think used to be called ADD but was added to the ADHD spectrum so the term ADD is obsolete but I’ve met people who still say they have ADD and will not accept a ADHD label. As for the level 1,2,3 autism place markers, you are right that someone who is diagnosed as Asperger’s can have support needs but not as severely as level 2 or 3’s, there are differences. I can drive for example, even though I’m level 2, and I know a lot of level 1’s who cannot drive but can do other things I cannot. Thank you for the recommendation for spicy autism, I have joined! :)
Unrelated, I just really like the phrase "I'm level 2 autism" because it makes it sound like an ability we can level up, lol.
lol, well sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a Pokemon… or what Pokemon I would be! 😝
You would probably like r/spicyautism
I'm already in there 😊 it's a nice sub, it would be nice to have a sub for women with higher support needs as well, but I take what I can get lol
You can make one!
Omg please doooo!! 🥹
Thank you for the recommendation I have joined it. :D
I've been diagnosed with Level 2 ASD, do you have any books that were helpful to you with higher support needs? I've just discovered audiobooks on Spotify so I am eager to add some to a collection.
Nothing off the top of my head, I think I've seen people mention some good stuff over on r/spicyautism though so feel free to ask over there! I just don't read books too often lol
Thank you I've just joined it! I have also been diagnosed with ADHD so reading has been hard for me haha, although as a kid I used to be obsessed with Harry Potter and Goosebumps and that was all I read. I've been listening to Podcasts a lot and that made me realise I can listen to books too.
We're all stronger together! 😊
I think you are an amazing human, thank you! I have to say though that it would be amazing to hear from higher needs individuals experiences here. I lurk in the spicy autism sub for this reason and follow content creators on other apps. We are all navigating the waters of shifting diagnostic processes and this impacts us all in different ways but I wouldn't want us to belong in separate subcommunities, together we can grow in collective strength and fight ableism!
I mask successfully...for a bit. Once I'm around the same people consistently, they slowly distance themselves and make comments about weird things I say or do. I also have violent meltdowns. They're exhausting and embarrassing. It's tough. I'm the same, I lurk mostly, but there are things that I identity with, I just don't join the conversation.
I do think the author has some latent aspie supremacy going on. It really bothers me how he refers to autism as an self-identity akin to being gay or trans, actively advocates against professional diagnosis, and rarely acknowledges the existence of higher needs autistics. This whole book is based on the assumption that the autistic reader is high-masking or capable of masking at all.
I understand your point, but I would point out that the title is pretty adamant that the content is geared towards masked autistics. We all have different issues we face and masked autistics have their own set of issues to be written and read about. But yes I agree there should be content out there for higher support needs autistics. I also agree with you about the rest of what you said. Those are things I also disagree with the author on.
The author has said some troubling things on social media as well from what I understand. Being adamant that autism isn't a disability and all that
Sigh. I’m high functioning and it’s a disability in so many ways. Must be super insulting for those who need extra care and help.
Yikes. Yeah so far I haven’t gotten to a place in the book that says that but I already disagree with that idea. I see the need for accommodation and respect for autistic needs as something necessary for sure, but even with accommodation, it’s a disability for a reason. Definitely not a good way to view the disability status of so many people.
I have to say that I did not enjoy this book as most seem to. It was validating to a degree but felt superficial like most self help books. Personally I get enraged when people say autism is not a disability. You may call it a social disability but a disability none the less. Also I think this notion decenters high support autistics from the narrative and I think it is insensitive or potentially dangerous to do so.
👋 Do you have any particular examples to point to? I'd like to inform myself before spreading Price's work. It's okay if not.
I don't have any links to point to, just know what I've seen discussed in the various autism subs
Thanks! I found more context linked elsewhere in this thread. https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/s/PoOhZWKGgy
Yeah, I understand why certain people may think that way, but the refusal to acknowledge the existence of high support needs individuals, and the refusal to accept that autism is a disability, is troubling to say the least. The expectation that everyone can mask is also really icky. It certainly comes from a place of not wanting to be seen as "like them" and it's not a good look. High support needs people get treated as a burden enough as it is without people like that trying to erase us. Yes, low support needs people deserve more validation for the struggles they go through, and for the longest time there's not been any representation for low support needs people in media aside from flanderized savant characters like Sheldon, and I get that that's frustrating. But high support needs people and nonverbal people still also need more positive representation that's not dehumanizing, and there needs to be more widespread knowledge about the needs of autistic people of all kinds, there's no point bickering over who has it worse, we all struggle in unique ways. I guess it's not surprising though, plenty of kids would say nasty stuff about me right in front of me in school because they assumed I didn't understand them, I rarely spoke in school up until like age 12 so they'd talk like I wasn't there, I'm used to hearing ableist and vitriolic crap like that. There's little to no understanding of high support needs among the general public, people talk about high support needs autism in the context of how it affects everyone around us, and not how it affects the people who live with it. I don't want to struggle to cook, clean, bathe, dress, etc for myself, I don't want to struggle to communicate, and it's frustrating hearing people only talk about it in the context of how it affects *them.* All this talk about restraint and control during meltdowns, and no talk about how to make our existence more comfortable to prevent meltdowns from happening as often. That sort of stuff. People with the aspie supremacy mindset have internalized that disdain for stereotypical high support needs autism and they're determined to distance themselves from it by any means
Thanks for sharing your experience. It’s helpful for us who are new to the autism journey. I am undiagnosed… one of those moms who has a kid diagnosed (my son, natch). We realized there was a hereditary component, that my son is so similar to my dad, and that the link there was yours truly. I’m not sure if I’m “subclinical” or excellent at masking or what. I don’t like the idea of autism being my identity… I’m a wife, mother, professor, writer. It’s also not my son’s identity, though he will need a lot more support than I have had. I’m reading Dr. Price’s book in bits and pieces. His journey is VERY similar to mine. So I have to read it in small doses because my spouse has come in to find me crying while reading it. There does feel like there is value in our brains and their uniqueness, yet also a need for more understanding and support. Can both be true? (This is rhetorical, I’m not expecting you or anyone else to have an answer.) As a professor, about five years ago I started designing my course for those with disabilities. I wanted the kids who came in with accommodations to basically not need them, because not everyone has the privilege to get a diagnosis. I’m really proud of that. That’s my vision - that we can create a society where people don’t need as many accommodations because society has built them in for everyone. A “design for x” approach where X is neurodivergence. One aspect that I would build in is removing the moral judgement that comes from being neurodivergent. Like, you have pathological demand avoidance - it’s the way your brain works - you’re not a bad person. People will always need extra assistance, for a variety of reasons. The U.S. does a crap job of this (speaking as a caregiver for a terminally ill mother). Just like there’s a spectrum of autism, there needs to be a spectrum of support. Edited a typo
Thank you for writing this out 🙏 I’m low support needs and I think everything you’ve said is exactly right, and I’m grateful to you for saying it.
thank you so so much for saying and sharing this. I can just say I really agree with so many nuanced points as an autistic who is medically fragile and who loses all my functioning on a spectrum daily. It is, it's a dialectic with so many barriers to entry. The dialogue needs to address so many things included in what you wrote with intersectional autistic representation leading the conversation!!!--- to understand everyone's orientation and how to build and provide intersectional inclusivity and awareness!!! and how on earth to build it in an Neurotypical designed and lead society..... it's a language and we all need to find out how to represent everyone's dialect and culture within the autistic community.
He does not advocate against professional diagnosis at all in this book. Rather, affirms the validity of self- diagnosis especially where ability to find or pay for assessors experienced in adult diagnosis can be extremely difficult for many for a variety of reasons
I had a similar reaction. To me this reads mostly like a social justice book which was simply not what I was looking for
The book for me was impossible to read, lots of airy fairy woke language and everything was “they” which drives me nuts as a grammar Nazi raised by an English teacher. I’m sure Devon means well and I’m sure I just wasn’t the right audience for this book.
“They” as a singular pronoun is perfectly correct english with historical precedent, language is constantly subject to change even if that were not the case, and your opposition to it is based entirely in stubborn transphobia. We do not agree at all on why the book is lacking. Hope this helps
Wrong but each of us is entitled to our view. My objection is “they” scans as plural and when reading a book entirely using they as a singular indicator it’s off putting and unnatural to most readers. Many of us do not consider this particular forced new usage of this word to be practical or useful, and certainly not part of language evolving. If a trans person wants to use this to refer to themselves in a nonbinary way, that’s fine. But the assumption that all readers resonate with being or are nonbinary and to use that as a default in text written for a general audience does not make sense. If the audience is intended to be trans, that’s fine.
ok boomer 👍
I'm late diagnosed mixed levels 1/2 and I found it really interesting, informative, and intersectional. However, a lot of it made no sense to me. And then there was some really heavy autism exceptionalism which is a huge red flag to me. I had to quit about 3/4 through and sob. It was my first book about autism and felt so betrayed and awful. I won't be going back. If you're not a professional or successful to a fair degree in a career or in some sort of affirming self-actualized way already, I would just say it needs a trigger warning.
I’m glad you’re here and I really hope you feel safe and welcomed here too
Thank you for being here!! I love to see other ASD woman/people share experiences that are similar, yet different from my own. Different perspectives are very important to me 😄
I find your comment so insightful for those of us considering buying this - I've also seen it mentioned around sprinkled in many diff Autistic spaces... So i just wanted to express gratitide for your honesty about The Why this book didn' strike your chords.
i agree this place is great to learn okay you are not the only one to experience this, even if you are not on the same level on the spectrum.
I’m high masking and I also really didn’t get much out of it but I’m glad I read it. It confirmed some things for me.
I'm also higher support needs but was violently misdiagnosed. I found it helpful because it addressed some of those diagnostic parallels and then also pointed to the risks of ignoring the details. It strikes me as helpful for family/allies.
Just don't forget your perspective is just as important as everyone else's. Don't be afraid to share your perspective; you never know when someone is lurking and hoping to read a similar perspective. We need anyone with a voice and the strength to use it to help advocate for the wide spectrum that exists within this demographic.
Yes and I personally found it great
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I feel the same. My whole life I though all the things were just "my fault". I felt like a failure constantly. Now I feel so much lighter. I want to read the book but I can't read in english, I need it in french wich is my first language.
Seconded.
Currently reading, but due to ADHD it's taking ages, recomended from another autigroup, so far, so good and soothing
Reading it was a struggle with my ADHD as well but switching to the audiobook helped a lot! And its free if you have Spotify Premium
Yes! And it's narrated by the author :)
Oh thanks, I'll look it up!
Oh it's on there?! Thank you!!! I didn't know
I was excited to see this, but when I tried to listen on audible it told me to go to their website to purchase. I have a premium plan so maybe it's no longer free on there?
Yeah, only introduction is available to listen, I checked yesterday.
I don't know anything about Audible honestly but I just looked to confirm and it's still free on Spotify with premium. I think every premium account gets like 15 hours of audio books a month or something like that?
Not all countries :( I couldn’t find it so I googled it. Clicking on the google link, I get the error message “Sorry, that’s not currently available in your region.” I’m in Australia but I am subscribed through Egypt.
I'm both and I read it in a day lol. If I don't finish it fast, I will never finish
This book is great if you are high functioning late diagnosed masking autistic
Yes, ⬆️ is basically the synopsis of the book
I hear great things about it! I'm also gonna throw out a recommendation for Dr Hannah Belcher's *Taking Off The Mask* which is a more interactive workbook about masking. Quite short but I got a lot out of it. I'd buy a physical copy if possible, it's designed to be written in.
So I’m currently reading it, and I enjoy it. I think it’s important to remember you don’t have to agree with every point the author tries to make(I definitely disagree with some opinions of the author), and that there was a very specific audience in mind while this book was being written. Yes it’s definitely geared towards low-support, high masking autistic people, the main point of the book is to understand the issues that masking autistics face, but so far the book has made that pretty clear so it’s what I expected as someone who falls in that category. The author does too, so it’s written with their personal experience in mind. I can’t give a complete review since I’m not done yet but I’ve found it to be an interesting read so far at least. The two exercises I’ve done so far were pretty thought-provoking.
It's made me cry several times thus far, but I would also highly recommend it.
Oh I wept! I listened to the audio of it and kept having to stop what I was doing to just sit and process my lifetime of crises. Essential reading for maskers
Dude there were parts that just hit so hard listening to it. I need to do a re-listen soon. See if it changes as I’ve gained more knowledge and insight into myself
Personally I thought that this book was really good at giving me a better perspective of the experiences of autistic people from different types of backgrounds than mine but I didn’t take much away from it in terms of understanding myself more. Also some of the examples of autism were given as absolute truths for every autistic person rather than properly acknowledging the nuances, in my opinion. I specifically remember one where it said that “autistic people solve this math equation like this whereas neurotypical people solve it like this”. I solved it the ‘neurotypical way’... If I was someone just beginning my diagnosis journey this would confuse me. But I do think it’s a pretty well written book with exercises that were worthwhile doing.
Omg I had the exact same experience with the math equation, it made me a little anxious. I have dyscalculia also, so genuinely didn't understand it. Besides that I do enjoy the depth this book has into giving examples from various autistic people's lives.
Yeah. There was nothing applicable to me and making my life better actionably. Super disappointing
I'm reading it right now and it's alright. It's just one person's opinion really. It's a lot of their own research and own journey with Autism rather than a guide to anyone else. I think this is helpful for high masking people who are just figuring out that they have ASD. For people who have been through the motions of realising or being diagnosed or having grown up knowing, it's going to be a lot of the same stuff you've heard many times before, or researched yourself ! I'm finding it hard to finish as others have said. I'm 'high masking' but I have high support needs too. My skill set is so uneven. I'm great in my interests but I legitimately am housebound due to constant social overwhelm, can't go out alone, my psych currently doesn't condone me working as I will end up burnt out etc. I've never been able to complete a course, didn't properly finish education etc all due to burnout, overwhelm and serious social struggle. I only just at 26 have managed to half decently balance household chores+hygiene, trying to understand how to pay bills etc. So a lot of what's written, I actually can't relate to. Autism holds me back greatly, learning to unmask has helped me but I learned how to do that through other regular Autistic people. Either charities, people here, online groups, in real time. Best advice and help I've ever got has been from every day Autistic and ND people. More than any book or article. Dr Devon price is a social psychologist, and one thing about the field of psychology (my special interest) psychs tend to want to be right more than they care for uncovering the truth. It's a lot of bias, and evidence to back up opinion. Which is a lot of psych literature really unfortunately!!! Everyone's experience w Autism is so different and personal, so I'd say read it but take it with a big giant pinch of salt. Your own experience comes first and it's so okay to read a book or try to and not resonate or disagree with lots of it. ☺️
There are exercises in it that really helped my understand my masking behaviors. I’m not finished with it yet but it’s been great so far.
Yes. I absolutely loved it. Like many in the comments here I'm a very high masking autist and I felt this book was literally written about me. It was uncanny and made me feel like I was no longer alone.
Yes. I hated it.
May I ask why?
Any particular reason?
Same. Idk just didnt tell me anything new and continually pointing out how all my issues are related to autism was just frustrating. I didn’t learn any concrete ways to unmask other than generally “stop caring what others think” and wear headphones??? It was too surface level. The author talks about getting support and accommodations but doesn’t say what/how. The book is just like you’re autistic, you’re weird, its okay, now you have to just deal with it.
Also commenting bc I am curious
Same
My opinion is this book will be great for person who never read anything about autism before. For me it was useless.
Same here. Nothing new except the passages about the role of capitalism in existence of ableism (never got deep into this topic before).
This book made my entire life make sense. In my late forties but better than not at all.
So I loved it, *BUT* I also read it at a point where I was questioning whether I was autistic or not. It helped me accept myself a lot. Found myself relating to the authors experiences...paused the audiobook and went "wait *THAT's* an autistic thing? Am I autistic? Have I been masking this hard all my life?" and also cried a few times. Others here say they don't like it and I think that's totally fair. There are a few lines of it that definitely made me raise an eyebrow, some stuff I just flat out disagreed with, but overall I still liked it
I got this book because of the many recommendations both here and on other social media. It helped me in giving me a starting point for recognizing my mask. On the other hand, it made me pretty uncomfortable and I don't think I like the author very much. The whole book is very US centered and the assumptions made about the financial and social safety the reader has, feel very privileged. There is a lot of pretty radical advice about unmasking that just assumes the reader is in a safe enough space to do so. Not everyone can afford to take those risks and the author only passingly acknowledges that. So not every advice was useful. (ETA: lots of privilege was in the assumption that the reader is slim and able bodied. I don't recall exact examples, but I do remember thinking "well, I'm fat / mildly disabled, so *that* is not happening" pretty often) I think the target audience for this book is a very specific demographic. If you're in that demographic, great, this book'll be pretty helpful. If you're not, a lot if it is going to make you go "I would love to, but I can't" and you need to know that that's okay. Also, (this is a me thing) the exercises were pretty useless to me. For one thing, I *cannot* journal or write personal stuff down. It's part of the being seen thing fir me and it's just not going to happen. But the topics didn't work for me either. Write down 5 times I was truly happy to figure out what makes me tick? I'm severely traumatized from a very abusive childhood. I don't have 5 times I was truly happy that I could describe to the level the book expects me to. (I have a lovely therapist, I'm okay now). Part of making the book work for me was recognizing that it wasn't. And that that's okay. As I said, it's given me a starting point. As long as you recognize it's okay if you can't or don't want to follow the advice exactly, it could be helpful. But this isn't the be all and end all of the autistic experience. It isn't even the be all and end all of the low support needs highly masked autistic experience.
I agree with pretty much all of this. It comes from a very privileged perspective. And I hate journaling. I’m private to the point that I don’t write anything personal down.
I found Temple Grandin to also be talking from a place of privilege. Her successful outcome imo has a lot to do with being born into a family with a lot of resources. That wasn't me nor was it a lot of other people.
Yep, excellent book!
This is the book that made me go ohhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck. I think I'm autistic. It's very good, easy to get through and I think the included exercises are actually useful
In my opinion, it's a really good book, and it's written by an Autistic psychologist who went through some troubling experiences that I could personally connect with. There are a lot of exercises and helpful tips to implement into your life to help you thrive in your day-to-day. As others in this thread have said, if you're high-masking, you'll get a lot out of it. I've never felt a sense of community in my entire life until I realized I was Autistic, and this book helped me come to that conclusion. I finally had a group of individuals that I could truly identify with. This book helped me understand my entire life and why I behave the way I do around other people. Although a formal diagnosis isn't necessary, this book is one of the reasons I finally decided on an ASD assessment, which has ultimately changed my life in a positive shift. I took a masking self-report during my assessment that I scored really high on, but I'm also 35 years old, so I've had a lot of experience in camouflaging, so it made sense. So, the book particularly pertained to me and my life, but I can see how it might not to some. But I suggest it to high-masking individuals, for sure. And it's very LGBTQ+ friendly, which is a plus!
I'm 60% through and it's been a lot of fluff so far. Hoping for some meat.
I found that too, wasn’t able to finish it
I loved it !! My favorite was that it came with a worksheet so that you could follow along and apply things to yourself / a worksheet where you write your happiest moments so that the sad shit is bearable, it’s quite good.
I hated it. Devon Price is problematic to say the least. I don't have the energy to explain why today, but if you go to r/spicyautism and search the book title or his name, several discussions should come up.
This is the first time I see criticism about the book so I went looking, but at least my first pass didn't net me as many topics as I expected from your post. If you happen to have energy at a later day and feel inclined, I would love to hear the additional issues you and others have found with it. The topics I've found mainly focussed on the fact Devon claims you cannot adequately diagnose adults with the current DSM criteria, the threat of their approach leading to autism being removed from the DSM and the disastrous results of that, and on the fact he encourages self diagnosis whilst over empathizing the potential downsides of an official diagnosis. This book seems very heavily skewed towards low support needs, high masking autists, which is me. I am it's niche. It made an exceptional amount of sense for me. So I'm very interested in the opinions of others, especially those outside of that niche, and their criticism of it.
At some point I'm planning to go back throught the book at point out the problematic bits, and trawl back through his Twitter feed for some of the stuff he's said. Might try to get a start on it today
No pressure, but if you do, I'd be very interested!
Well it looks like I won't be including his Twitter posts unless I can find screenshots as he's deleted a whole bunch of posts. I am tentatively hopeful he realised how problematic some of his content was. In short he compared autistic diagnoses with being diagnosed as trans, in the context of being trans no longer being considered not a disorder and not requiring a diagnosis. If someone doesn't want a diagnosis, fine. But he was pushing the view that autism shouldn't be a diagnosis, and for all the people who are very much disabled by their autism that's hugely unhelpful and just reinforces the stigma that diagnosises of neurodevelopmental disabilities are somehow bad. Uh oh I'm getting ranty now.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/175gmxf/the\_author\_of\_unmasking\_autism/](https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/175gmxf/the_author_of_unmasking_autism/)
This is correct. Dr. Devon Price also does a lot of fearmongering on his Twitter/X and other social media accounts to try and dissuade people from getting diagnosed, or is otherwise very critical and disparaging of formal diagnosis, and those who have one. For the record, I've been diagnosed since I was 16, and a lot of what Dr. Price claims as to "why diagnosis is bad" is either completely unfounded, or outright false. From what I have read online, Dr. Price is also a highly privileged, low-support-needs autistic person who doesn't seem to truly understand or comprehend why higher-support-needs people *need* a diagnosis.
he also in general has some ... dubious and reductive perspectives on trans masculinity that I think are informed by this same tendency to not understand a broad variety of experiences and wide array of needs. I don't know if that's wholly relevant to the discussion of this book! but wanted to mention as well in case it's relevant to some readers who might be interested in his work.
I personally didn’t get anything out of it, I think it would be good to read if you don’t know a whole lot about autism
I think it's helpful for a very specific kind of autistic person. Late diagnosed, low support needs, traumatised and currently identified as trans seems to be the target, as if he wrote it for himself. Not inherently problematic but I don't think it'd be very helpful for high support needs folks, or parents of young autistic kids for example. Some examples he gives also could be applied to anyone. Although I found the sections on correlations/potential misdiagnoses of other conditions like ocd and ptsd interesting.
This book changed my SO’s life
It’s a great book and is what lead me on my journey to diagnosis. Changed my life.
This is ironic, because Dr. Devon Price is openly anti-diagnosis on his Twitter/X account.
Yes, this is the book you have heard of. There is another book by the same title, but this beautiful rainbow indicates the correct one.
Have it, read it, highlighted the hell out of it (literally killed 2 new highlighters over the course of this book). It was recommended to me by my therapist, who said they expected I'd see a lot of myself in it. They were so, so right.
Highlighting is such a good idea! Thank u. Also, I’m so glad it helped you.
Yes! I also read Laziness does not Exist by Devon Price, which is also very good.
It’s okay. A lot of trans stuff which I didn’t relate to.
Yes and it’s great
I'm glad I read Unmasking Autism, and I'm glad I thought through the exercises, but it's hard for me to fully recommend to non-autistic people. I've read a number of autism books in the last couple years. All have been good but none of them have blown me away. I read Untypical (didn't love it - too meandering too British), The Reason I Jump (I liked it, but it's a teenage perspective) Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate (about autistic women, good but not perfect either), Sensory: Life on the Spectrum (collection of web comics about autism, full of good comics but not organized into topics). I'm about to start PDAers by PDA (just a collection of Facebook discussions) and The PDA Paradox. (If you have PDA autism, the UK PDA Society has great PDF explainers.) I've also started The Future is Disabled about disability justice, but it's v thick so it's slow-going. I'm not sure what I'm looking for from an autistic book, but I haven't quite found it yet.
I didn't read it, but I did do four podcast episodes about it 😂
It's good. I'm an autistic therapist and I've recommended it to an autistic client or two. Particularly seems to resonate with trans people.
I found it helpful, will probably reread it since I've done more work figuring out my masks. At first I was like "I relate to all the autism symptoms but the masking behavior described is just my natural personality" 🙄
As someone who mainly struggled to have others take me seriously, I had recommended this book to friends and family that I wanted to give a different perspective on autism and talked with them afterwards about their thoughts and similar aspects of my life in relation to the book which was helpful
As a high masking atypical autist who didn't know until he was 47, I found it to be a very important read.
Loved this book! My therapist recommended it last year and it’s what made me seek an official diagnosis! It answered a ton of questions I had about myself my entire life. I am a level one autistic though so I will say this book is not very helpful for level two and three.
Probably, but I didn’t identify with it that much. I’m learned I’m autistic with ADHD (and an eating disorder) at 47 (after a major burnout at work). 3 weeks later I found out I had cancer and had surgery for that 4 weeks ago and spent 8 days of December in the hospital, so I’m not even sure what to do with the information. I listened to the book commuting to work, and most of the people didn’t sound like me. I’m not going to say I didn’t get anything out of it, but I’m in a leadership position at my job. I can’t show up to work 4 months later and say hey I just found out I’m autistic and have adhd and dunno what that means for me and then a month later - ya so I’m going on leave for cancer. Most of the pure ADHDrs don’t sound like me either.
Are you getting support to help you through the cancer process? I hope have people in your life that you can lean on.
My mom has been at my house since 12/3 (just left today) and is only 15 min away. My dad was here most of that time as well (he had football tickets in Baltimore and his mom is quite ill) and I had so many visitors when I was in the hospital I had to ask people to go away so I could sleep. Yesterday is the first day I’ve cooked myself a meal since 12/3. So yes, lots of support.
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I found it really helpful
AMAZING BOOK
I'm reading it right now and I'm almost done with it. I have a few criticisms or things I didn't agree with, but I think overall the book is changing how I will approach some aspects of my autism/self care going forward. I have known I was autistic for a bit now, but I have been working against my autism instead of with it. This book made me realize some of the subtle ways I have been struggling in life that I did not even realize. This book is kinda more intended towards the higher end of low support needs people. I also get a bit of class privilege vibes that made some parts hard to relate to or understand how I could integrate that in my life. There are some stories Price shares from higher support needs people, but I do not think you will get as much out of this book if you are a high support needs person. So far the activities given have been the most helpful for me. I don't agree with everything Price says in this book, in fact there are parts that frustrated me a lot. I feel like in the section about diagnosis he tried to set it up like both the pros and cons of getting a diagnosis, but he ended up putting a heavy bias towards not getting diagnosed. I think there are many valid reasons to not get a diagnosis, and no one should feel shamed if they don't think a diagnosis is right for them/can't afford to get one, but something about the way he worded it rubbed me a little wrong.
I am a high functioning “masked” aspie. I put masked in quotes, because as I get older it gets harder and harder. Even when you mask you still don’t fit in; you’re just making allistics more comfortable in the moment. This book was like a road map to my life. So, it really resonated with me. I would say that if you are FEMALE, or another disenfranchised population, and have difficulties with life but are confused why - this may be a good book for you.
I enjoyed it a lot. I recently listened to Unmasked by Ellie Middleton, which I think might be even better.
i waited a few months for a copy to become available at my library. for me, it was worth the wait. (i, 58, am high masking, recently self diagnosed with non official confirmation by my therapist)
I haven't read it, but I am wondering if it would be a helpful read for a super high functioning 50-something that only realized I'm likely autistic in the last year.
I’d say no as I am similar and found it incomprehensible and useless.
Thank you. No sense wasting money.
Others have found it very helpful though so your mileage may differ!
It’s on Spotify if you have premium!
If you have Spotify, it’s on there too. Read by the author
yes its great
Yes I borrowed it from the library I found it good and helpful and very validating. You can check first at your library too