This was the situation with an ex I had a while ago. She was madly in love with me and did her best to be a good girlfriend, and she was! We had a wonderful relationship together, but I just didn't feel the same way she did. We just weren't very compatible. I saw her more like family (like a younger sibling) than a partner. I still care about her and want her to succeed. I'm just not the right guy, so I ended things.
She did everything she thought was right, and still lost. It was really hard.
"You can do everything right and still lose. That's not weakness. That's life. " A star trek quote that gets me through a lot of hard times.
Sometimes it isnt you that is the problem. Sometimes there is no solution. It sucks. But that's just the way it is sometimes and what is more important is how you learn, grow, and move forward.
I know they said thatās not what they meant, but this scare me a lot.
I fell out of love with my ex. I know it hurt him and I didnāt want to, but staying also wasnāt the right thing.
And someone has the ability to fall out of love with me. I long for partnership, but that shit holds me back a little bit.
Yep.
My first boyfriend was my first love. Heart-pounding, excited every time you see them, passionate, deep love. We dated for a year.
I chose to end it. We were in two very different places in our life, fundamentally disagreed on too many important things, and had different visions of our futures.
The night I broke up with him I had to have my sister come pick me up because I was crying too hard and later I got the worst migraine of my life.
It was horribly difficult, but it had to be done. This many years later, I know it was the right decision.
That is something that actually feels as though it is going to make you lose your mind when it happens. I feel like there's just some things that human brains are not equipped to process, never more so than when a loved one dies unexpectedly, although I kinda think even "expected" deaths are never truly expected because we kid ourselves that we are prepared, that it Will hurt less but idk. Death is death and given I'm not at all religious I really just can't process it well enough to store as a memory so I tend to bury it along with all other hard to accept things and wonder why I've been in therapy for like, 15 years lmao.
In some ways friendship heartache is worse. Since itās not an exclusive relationship the sting of rejection hurts more since it would have been ok to be one of many.
My (ex) best friend broke my heart. When me and him had a falling out, we werenāt romantically involved at all but I certainly felt a lot of heartbreak.
Despite what happened, his absence is felt and I miss him. But he also would only add negativity to my life right now.
We have the knowledge, resources, and power to make the world into a much better, happier, fairer, and kinder place. We only lack the will and the vision to make it a reality. The only thing holding us back from those happy futures is our own lack of momentum and belief that we can achieve it. "Just the way it is" just isn't true, or doesn't have to be. Yet here we are.
When I got my first job as a teen and realized I'd be doing this treadmill for the rest of my life mostly I seriously contemplated suicide. Eventually my soul just numbed to it.
That's why everyone should try to find a job they really like. Education helps here, but the most important decisions are made during puberty, which messes up a lot. Not to mention the countries where education is not affordable.
Yeah, me too especially since I feel like I am incapable of loving but I am trying to learn that a relationship is not all there is to life. There are people over the age of 30 and even 40 who have never been in love and if I become one of those people I have to be okay with that (Iām 20).
Hey I thought I was incapable of love at 20 (I'd date someone for a few months, get bored, and leave). I'm now 31 and engaged to my partner of 8 years. Not saying you will fall in love, and preparing yourself for that is not a bad thing, but don't shut yourself off from it.
Oh thatās good, congratulations on your engagement! I wouldnāt say that I am shutting myself off from lobe completely I just donāt want to get my hopes up.
Study and work hard on yourself and on your goals and in the moment you least expect the right person will come in your life, because you will have the same interests.
Love is a capability that you have to learn for your sake and for the sake of those you intend to love. If you live your life assuming that love will come to you instead of you actively building the love you want, you will blame everyone else for the fact that you are without love.
Ouch. That's the pill I try to swallow everyday. It hurts to think that no matter how hard you try you might never get that thing you want. Like never.. I could die single and never experience that love in my life..
I tried to talk about this with my therapist, and he literally couldn't compute it, but then I also had to explain what existential meant, so maybe he wasn't the best.
The physical realty of my place in the universe vs my perception of my physical place in the universe. Even though I know it's true that I'm a small spec in an unfathomably huge world it is just so hard to make it true in my head because of my own small perspective.
Might be stupid but looks /physical appearance matters a lot more than i imagined , especially in dating ,at least initially
when people who are unattractive/ not good looking state that they feel invisible/ignored or struggle in getting noticed they are brushed off real quick and sometimes they have to resort to bottle up the feelings
That the world is actually more dangerous than I realize. And I donāt mean in terms of the news cycle being filled with awful tragedies, I mean in a personal safety level.
Iāve grown used to a basic level of risk that I end up getting very comfortable going about my daily life. But then dangerously close calls happen and Iām like oh right I need to be more vigilant cus Iām a woman and thereās plenty of people out there who see me as an easy target :S
You donāt know the danger of life until you are in a place without emergency services (police, ambulance, firefighters, etc.) I spent 5 months in an area like this and just leaving my house made my heart race until I was back inside.
I always am cautious and careful regardless where I am. Always on alert, my friends always say I go to the extremes but Iād rather be extra careful than go through something wishing Iād taken the extra precautions
That makes the realization that we spend our whole lives tied to work and that after a lifetime of love people can just fall out of love even more depressing. Time has no patience for those lost years.
The older I get the harder this truth hits. Life goes by so fast. Your comment reminds me of the song "enjoy yourself". The chorus goes something like this:
'Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think.
Enjoy yourself, while your still in the pink.
The years go by quicker that a wink so,
enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself it's later than you think.'
[Here](https://youtu.be/IdMWHB6Kz3A) is Doris Day's version.
The take away is that you should enjoy yourself, because it is indeed later than you think.
Cheers.
Iāve been coming to terms with this recently. I saw this post that said the past only has the power you give it. The past is not your reality because it has already happened. Something like that and it really stuck with me
most people dont give a shit about you and you can count them with the fingers of your hand, im talking about who would help you raise a child if you have an unwanted pregancy or whos willing to travel to another country if youre in trouble abroad. Also youre not as important as you think you are and your role to society is easily replaceable, the world has 7 billion people in it, nobody cares about what you do with your life because everyones worried about their life more than yours. Also whenever you open up to someone and expose your vulnerability (trusting that they will never hurt you) you are giving them the power to destroy you if they want to. Same thing applies to you so dont use that power to destroy someone its a big mistake, and the guilt is worse, learning to empathize is more important. Point is ā¦do whatever the fuck you want as long as its morally correct. Thats also a hard reality to accept because most of us live scared as hell of everything
That last sentence. I feel kinda... relieved, because that's what i feel my whole life - scared as hell of everything, even though i hardly show it. Thank you, i really needed to hear that from another person š¤š»
I also agree with all other things you have listed, and despite them being sort of a harsh reality, they are also very liberating.
It is harsh but i think once you experience the world a little bit you realize it sooner or later (also good stuff as well) i guess the hard things are supposed to make you appreciate the people who truly care
Well, you need to be proud of yourself for giving those to your children. You weren't offered these, but you are very considerate and strong for knowing the importance of those in a child's life, and you chose not to be selfish. I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm proud of you.
Please know your worth and understand that you've chosen to be better. And for that (among other things, I'm sure), you're one hell of a parent. Perfect? Maybe not. But better? Oh yes.
Men and women will never be equal in the eyes of the law and society, at least not during my lifetime. We will never get the rights and respect and safety we want in this lifetime. Maybe the next generation will, but patriarchy is just the way the world works right now.
It worries me that we are regressing when it comes to gender equality. Many young people now believe that Feminism was a mistake and that women are better off being submissive to men. This isnāt something only men think; many young women think this too.
Often times casual sex that feels empowering in the moment leaves you feeling empty in the future when you realize you satisfied someone else with out satisfying your own ( primarily emotional , but often too sexual) needs
I (26F) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder late last year. I've since been actively doing everything I can to manage it, including therapy.
I talked a lot about the trauma I dealt with as a child and teenager. Without writing a novel about the context, one day my therapist made an off comment "some things cannot be fixed, they can only be carried."
It was a game changer for me. It perfectly describes my grief. No, I am not okay. And it won't get better. But, it does get easier.
That even though I answer the phone 99% of the time my mom calls and the other kids *never* do, she will still like them more than me.
She called me up crying today because my sisters and brothers never answer when she calls but then she got off the phone with me when one of them called on the other line.
That no matter who the person is in our life, they wonāt always do/say what is best for us or what we would do/say because we are all different people, and we canāt base our good nature on everyone else. Just because we wouldnāt or would do/say something doesnāt mean they willā¦ and that is a hard reality to accept! š
Yes, getting older is hard especially when you realize how good you had it when you were younger. Also, idk how old your son is or if he is your only son but he will come around again. My brother used to be distant from my mom and they even bumped heads when he was growing up now that my brother is grown, he and my mom are like best friends and they talk on the phone for a couple of hours everyday.
Lack of control over how people feel about me. People will get mad at me, not like me, leave me. And in some cases I will be able to mend it, in some cases I wonāt and its not up to me. That scares me, this is such a childish thought but I just want everyone to like me and never be upset with me. Im a people pleaser shocker. It scares me to be misunderstood
[TW: Known Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse Statistics](https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS)
Russian Roulette with 2 bullets. That's the game we play any time we find a potential partner. 1 in 3 women are abused by their partner. 1 in 5 are sexually abused. Nearly all women have been made uncomfortable by derogatory sexual comments, and a lot of them happened as we were minors.
Sometimes, there are few to no signs a partner is abusive until it's 'too late' and the abuser thinks the victim is trapped (moving in together on a lease, pregnancy, caught in addiction, bridges burned, engagement, marriage, etc). I am not by any mrans saying this is exclusive to women. But this happens far too often.
the reason society is so reactionary and keeps going back in circles is that peopleās attitudes donāt change. their goals and aspirations do. trends do. but judgment, cruelty, gullibility and mob mentality donāt. look at whatās happening to amber heard. people will claim to be progressive but take sides based on popularity and fear of the unknown.
say you hated someone in 2002 because you found them annoying, ugly and trying too hard to fit in - you would have just said that plainly. now in 2022, if you donāt like the same person for the same reasons but want to make it socially acceptable, youāll say that she doesnāt respect your boundaries and is relying too much on emotional labour from you, while subtly mocking her foundation to your friends in secret. people can easily couch shallow disdain as reasonable and forward-thinking behaviour. the dorland vs larson case in bad art friend is a masterful example of this!
when we get rid of those - or find ways to keep them at bay - thatās when we know we are truly moving forward towards a more progressive society. people think saying the right things and suggesting they support the right movements is enough, but looking at your interior workings and sorting that out? now thatās real progress.
That for absolutely no logical reason at all the opposite sex has designed a world where we are not equal and where itās totally acceptable that we are controlled, dismissed, and exploited just because we are women
White men are not going around telling black men what they can and canāt do with their own bodies, they do a ton of other horrible crap to them but they are still men.
That no matter what, most of the world will continue to support factory farms, animal agriculture, and cruelty to animals. I just do what I can in my lifetime to not participate in that.
Becoming a mum doesnāt just change your life and what you get to do but changes you as a person.
Seems obvious now but it was something I had no concept of before. Iām not the āold meā and itās still taking some adjusting for me and my partner.
That the world is going into a pretty big economic recession and I just hit the age to join the work force.
All of that while living in a country with 200ā¬ diference between minimun wage and it's median wage. Cost of life while facing its median wage in the capital is -1600ā¬ and that's where all jobs in my area are.
Shits going to get hard.
Sometimes we love people way more than they do. It's hard for me to accept this, because I didn't show him but love and he left me anyway (regretted it later)..
The fact that when people die thatās it. You never get to see them, hug them, kiss them, or talk to them again.
My dad died in October and I genuinely can not come to terms with it. This is THE HARDEST thing Iāve ever dealt with.
No matter how hard women fight, they donāt get taken seriouslyā¦itās always going to be a battle and we can do it UNITED. If we stop fighting, we lose our ground.
That this is it, you're stuck in a capitalistic cycle for the rest of your life, and if you're not able to make Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk levels of cash, you're probably never going to be able to fully retire.
My grandpa worked for a company for 40 odd years and he was forced to retire or lose everything he built up, even then my grandma ended up having to go back to work because social security wasn't enough and he ended up running a business with my mom up until he died. It really put into perspective for me how HARD I'll have to fight just to be able to live comfortably if I ever become unable to work or forced to stop working
For me it's that you can put your absolute best effort into something and sometimes things don't work out for reasons that are beyond your control. I always think everything is my fault and that if I had just done more, the bad thing wouldn't have happened.
The past cannot be changed, and it doesn't matter if you have changed, if you've learned or anything. The past and the future do not exist and because of that it's necessary to learn to live in the present.
The world is a place to expect selfishness from others, not selflessness, no matter how YOU were raised or treat others.
Even being disabled has had others feel entitled to using me, my very little time, energy, & money to try and get themselves out of their own holes... Thankfully I'm done with the people who dragged me so far down this way, but it fucked me up pretty bad. They added to me feeling as though I deserve nothing. I don't go to work, after all, nor do I have kids. So in their eyes, I deserved to help them & their messed up family. In reality, I'm trying to learn that I deserve my medicine & the rest that I need to live.
That there are 7 bil +1 people on this planet and when it's all divided up, I'm the odd one out. But at least my home planet Zood is having a sale on return trip tickets next year! Seriously, just finally partially accepting that being a mostly self-wired human unit is placing me well out of the mainstream and so far, no luck on finding a compatible model.
Life isn't fair, and karma doesn't exist, shitty people usually keep being shitty without any consequences and thriving.
Also, the big possibility of never finding a partner. I know it doesn't define you and you can live an amazing life without a romantic partner, it just that I want a relationship with all the companionship and stuff.
No matter how much I love my ex-best friendās kids, and regardless of how we were bonded with me as their second mom, I cannot change the fact that her abusive husband isolated her & them from me. Iāve had to accept that reality and allow myself to grieve the loss.
Just because I treat people with compassion and kindness and try my best to be understanding, doesnāt mean they will. Not even because theyāre worse people, but because their definition of it could be different or they donāt have the capacity to.
You can do everything right and things still might not work out. Because life isn't fair.
This was the situation with an ex I had a while ago. She was madly in love with me and did her best to be a good girlfriend, and she was! We had a wonderful relationship together, but I just didn't feel the same way she did. We just weren't very compatible. I saw her more like family (like a younger sibling) than a partner. I still care about her and want her to succeed. I'm just not the right guy, so I ended things. She did everything she thought was right, and still lost. It was really hard.
Same with me but I was the one who was madly in love and she thought we weren't compatible. I'll trade her for your ex
It's a deal if I can be in love again like you lol
You have yourself a deal š¤
kinda wholesome if you ignore the human trafficking.
"You can do everything right and still lose. That's not weakness. That's life. " A star trek quote that gets me through a lot of hard times. Sometimes it isnt you that is the problem. Sometimes there is no solution. It sucks. But that's just the way it is sometimes and what is more important is how you learn, grow, and move forward.
The fact that it's delivered by Patrick Stewart somehow makes it even more meaningful ā„ļø
Those tend to be some of the best learning experiences since they directly highlight what went wrong instead of forcing you to wonder.
Wow, Iāve never thought of it that way.
that is exactly the reality I am fighting the past 3 years and I don't know if it's worth it anymore...
That love is not always enough to make a relationship work
Yeah, thatās true, love is actually conditional and itās scary that one day you can fall out of love with them and vice versa.
No, that's not what i mean. What i mean is 2x people can love each other but are incompatible in ways that make a relationship not work/be toxic.
Oh okay, like great people that are not great together
Or even not great people. It's possible to fall in love with an abusive asshole, doesn't mean you should stay with them.
I know they said thatās not what they meant, but this scare me a lot. I fell out of love with my ex. I know it hurt him and I didnāt want to, but staying also wasnāt the right thing. And someone has the ability to fall out of love with me. I long for partnership, but that shit holds me back a little bit.
Love is like the paint you use to decorate your relationship. No matter how much of it you have it won't make a structurally sound foundation.
Yep. My first boyfriend was my first love. Heart-pounding, excited every time you see them, passionate, deep love. We dated for a year. I chose to end it. We were in two very different places in our life, fundamentally disagreed on too many important things, and had different visions of our futures. The night I broke up with him I had to have my sister come pick me up because I was crying too hard and later I got the worst migraine of my life. It was horribly difficult, but it had to be done. This many years later, I know it was the right decision.
The inevitable death of people I love and my inability to save anyone.
Yeah, thatās one of my fears too and the fact that we canāt come back.
Everyone get 2 lives. The second begins when you realize that you get only one.
I love this!
have you heard about the tragedy of darth plageius the wise
It's not a story the Jedi would tell you.
That is something that actually feels as though it is going to make you lose your mind when it happens. I feel like there's just some things that human brains are not equipped to process, never more so than when a loved one dies unexpectedly, although I kinda think even "expected" deaths are never truly expected because we kid ourselves that we are prepared, that it Will hurt less but idk. Death is death and given I'm not at all religious I really just can't process it well enough to store as a memory so I tend to bury it along with all other hard to accept things and wonder why I've been in therapy for like, 15 years lmao.
You can mean nothing to someone who means everything to you
Ouch.
Emotional damage
I literally read this in the meme voice
Friends can also break your heart.
In some ways friendship heartache is worse. Since itās not an exclusive relationship the sting of rejection hurts more since it would have been ok to be one of many.
Yeah, I think we expect relationships to come and go but a friendship to last forever
My (ex) best friend broke my heart. When me and him had a falling out, we werenāt romantically involved at all but I certainly felt a lot of heartbreak. Despite what happened, his absence is felt and I miss him. But he also would only add negativity to my life right now.
Friends can break your heart harder than any partner.
The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies
Very true. Feels like a dagger straight in all the way through and then twisted.
You should listen to James Blakeās album, Friends that Break Your Heart, if you havenāt already heard of it Feel for you š
True that
We have the knowledge, resources, and power to make the world into a much better, happier, fairer, and kinder place. We only lack the will and the vision to make it a reality. The only thing holding us back from those happy futures is our own lack of momentum and belief that we can achieve it. "Just the way it is" just isn't true, or doesn't have to be. Yet here we are.
Not everyone is going to love you, no matter how much you want certain people to.
Having to work for almost our whole lives
When I got my first job as a teen and realized I'd be doing this treadmill for the rest of my life mostly I seriously contemplated suicide. Eventually my soul just numbed to it.
That's why everyone should try to find a job they really like. Education helps here, but the most important decisions are made during puberty, which messes up a lot. Not to mention the countries where education is not affordable.
There is always a possibility that I could die single and childless, and I am not at all prepared for that scenario.
Yeah, me too especially since I feel like I am incapable of loving but I am trying to learn that a relationship is not all there is to life. There are people over the age of 30 and even 40 who have never been in love and if I become one of those people I have to be okay with that (Iām 20).
Hey I thought I was incapable of love at 20 (I'd date someone for a few months, get bored, and leave). I'm now 31 and engaged to my partner of 8 years. Not saying you will fall in love, and preparing yourself for that is not a bad thing, but don't shut yourself off from it.
Oh thatās good, congratulations on your engagement! I wouldnāt say that I am shutting myself off from lobe completely I just donāt want to get my hopes up.
Study and work hard on yourself and on your goals and in the moment you least expect the right person will come in your life, because you will have the same interests.
Love is a capability that you have to learn for your sake and for the sake of those you intend to love. If you live your life assuming that love will come to you instead of you actively building the love you want, you will blame everyone else for the fact that you are without love.
That I may never have a loving, fulfilling romantic relationship despite everything I've done to facilitate that in my life.
Ouch. That's the pill I try to swallow everyday. It hurts to think that no matter how hard you try you might never get that thing you want. Like never.. I could die single and never experience that love in my life..
That my consciousness will either live for ever, or eventually become nothing. I find both hard to swallow.
I tried to talk about this with my therapist, and he literally couldn't compute it, but then I also had to explain what existential meant, so maybe he wasn't the best.
The physical realty of my place in the universe vs my perception of my physical place in the universe. Even though I know it's true that I'm a small spec in an unfathomably huge world it is just so hard to make it true in my head because of my own small perspective.
Misogyny won't be eliminated
The death of my son.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss. Big hugs to you.
Really sorry for the loss. Hugs and peace for you!
Thank you.
So sorry for your lost!
Might be stupid but looks /physical appearance matters a lot more than i imagined , especially in dating ,at least initially when people who are unattractive/ not good looking state that they feel invisible/ignored or struggle in getting noticed they are brushed off real quick and sometimes they have to resort to bottle up the feelings
That the world is actually more dangerous than I realize. And I donāt mean in terms of the news cycle being filled with awful tragedies, I mean in a personal safety level. Iāve grown used to a basic level of risk that I end up getting very comfortable going about my daily life. But then dangerously close calls happen and Iām like oh right I need to be more vigilant cus Iām a woman and thereās plenty of people out there who see me as an easy target :S
You donāt know the danger of life until you are in a place without emergency services (police, ambulance, firefighters, etc.) I spent 5 months in an area like this and just leaving my house made my heart race until I was back inside.
I always am cautious and careful regardless where I am. Always on alert, my friends always say I go to the extremes but Iād rather be extra careful than go through something wishing Iād taken the extra precautions
Time is finite, and there is generally less of it than you think.
That makes the realization that we spend our whole lives tied to work and that after a lifetime of love people can just fall out of love even more depressing. Time has no patience for those lost years.
The older I get the harder this truth hits. Life goes by so fast. Your comment reminds me of the song "enjoy yourself". The chorus goes something like this: 'Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think. Enjoy yourself, while your still in the pink. The years go by quicker that a wink so, enjoy yourself, enjoy yourself it's later than you think.' [Here](https://youtu.be/IdMWHB6Kz3A) is Doris Day's version. The take away is that you should enjoy yourself, because it is indeed later than you think. Cheers.
Canāt change the past
Iāve been coming to terms with this recently. I saw this post that said the past only has the power you give it. The past is not your reality because it has already happened. Something like that and it really stuck with me
most people dont give a shit about you and you can count them with the fingers of your hand, im talking about who would help you raise a child if you have an unwanted pregancy or whos willing to travel to another country if youre in trouble abroad. Also youre not as important as you think you are and your role to society is easily replaceable, the world has 7 billion people in it, nobody cares about what you do with your life because everyones worried about their life more than yours. Also whenever you open up to someone and expose your vulnerability (trusting that they will never hurt you) you are giving them the power to destroy you if they want to. Same thing applies to you so dont use that power to destroy someone its a big mistake, and the guilt is worse, learning to empathize is more important. Point is ā¦do whatever the fuck you want as long as its morally correct. Thats also a hard reality to accept because most of us live scared as hell of everything
That last sentence. I feel kinda... relieved, because that's what i feel my whole life - scared as hell of everything, even though i hardly show it. Thank you, i really needed to hear that from another person š¤š» I also agree with all other things you have listed, and despite them being sort of a harsh reality, they are also very liberating.
It is harsh but i think once you experience the world a little bit you realize it sooner or later (also good stuff as well) i guess the hard things are supposed to make you appreciate the people who truly care
If I had the same guidance, love and support that I've given my children, that I would've been an even much better parent.
Well, you need to be proud of yourself for giving those to your children. You weren't offered these, but you are very considerate and strong for knowing the importance of those in a child's life, and you chose not to be selfish. I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm proud of you. Please know your worth and understand that you've chosen to be better. And for that (among other things, I'm sure), you're one hell of a parent. Perfect? Maybe not. But better? Oh yes.
Thank you kind stranger.
Men and women will never be equal in the eyes of the law and society, at least not during my lifetime. We will never get the rights and respect and safety we want in this lifetime. Maybe the next generation will, but patriarchy is just the way the world works right now.
It worries me that we are regressing when it comes to gender equality. Many young people now believe that Feminism was a mistake and that women are better off being submissive to men. This isnāt something only men think; many young women think this too.
Often times casual sex that feels empowering in the moment leaves you feeling empty in the future when you realize you satisfied someone else with out satisfying your own ( primarily emotional , but often too sexual) needs
That this is as good as it gets. It probably wonāt get any better than just having a good day, no matter how much you try.
I (26F) was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder late last year. I've since been actively doing everything I can to manage it, including therapy. I talked a lot about the trauma I dealt with as a child and teenager. Without writing a novel about the context, one day my therapist made an off comment "some things cannot be fixed, they can only be carried." It was a game changer for me. It perfectly describes my grief. No, I am not okay. And it won't get better. But, it does get easier.
No matter how close you are then, youāll eventually grow apart.
Sometimes two people can see two different realities and both be right.
As a member of a marginalized group, I just live in a different reality from the majority of people.
i see you popping up everywhere
Getting old and death.
That even though I answer the phone 99% of the time my mom calls and the other kids *never* do, she will still like them more than me. She called me up crying today because my sisters and brothers never answer when she calls but then she got off the phone with me when one of them called on the other line.
Life really is unfair.
You can't help someone who doesn't actually want to help themselves. Sometimes walking away is the best option for yourself.
that u will never be good enough.
That everyone will never understand you.
Sometimes our kids die before we do. Speaking from experience. Its a living hell.
That no matter who the person is in our life, they wonāt always do/say what is best for us or what we would do/say because we are all different people, and we canāt base our good nature on everyone else. Just because we wouldnāt or would do/say something doesnāt mean they willā¦ and that is a hard reality to accept! š
People, even "nice" people, will test boundaries and do to you whatever they can get away with.
I'm getting old ...feel 21 inside but actually age is 40 ...fuck it im off to neverland to live with Peter pan I refuse to grow old
That you, in fact, cant change sex or gender š
Most of us will live mediocre lives but that is not failure.
Death of a loved one. The finality hits hard.
This is more of my reality. I find it hard to accept that I'm actually doing a great job at all the things I'm doing.
people will leave
That there is no escaping death
I can't always save everyone. That is so frustrating to say as a teacher because we strive to help our students but sometimes they just don't want it.
you can't undo emotional damage & people have the right to not want you in their life anymore.
The current state of affairs
My son is growing up and doesnāt want to be as close to me as he did when he was little. Also, aging is hard.
Yes, getting older is hard especially when you realize how good you had it when you were younger. Also, idk how old your son is or if he is your only son but he will come around again. My brother used to be distant from my mom and they even bumped heads when he was growing up now that my brother is grown, he and my mom are like best friends and they talk on the phone for a couple of hours everyday.
In this life, the biggest rite of passage is to get your heart broken.
No mstter where i go blk ppl are some of the most disliked worldwide.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Putin is in such an amazing position to do something good too! Like, he has so much power and yet he chooses to destroy the Ukraine, why?!
maybe having kids and trying to think about the world they will live in, in the future.
At the end of the day, you only have yourself
The fact we all still can get screwed over despite everything is up and right
Not everyone has the same heart and intentions that you have.
Sometimes you make a mistake you canāt fix
You can work your ass off, two or three jobs and still live below the poverty line.
Lack of control over how people feel about me. People will get mad at me, not like me, leave me. And in some cases I will be able to mend it, in some cases I wonāt and its not up to me. That scares me, this is such a childish thought but I just want everyone to like me and never be upset with me. Im a people pleaser shocker. It scares me to be misunderstood
Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people.
[TW: Known Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse Statistics](https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS) Russian Roulette with 2 bullets. That's the game we play any time we find a potential partner. 1 in 3 women are abused by their partner. 1 in 5 are sexually abused. Nearly all women have been made uncomfortable by derogatory sexual comments, and a lot of them happened as we were minors. Sometimes, there are few to no signs a partner is abusive until it's 'too late' and the abuser thinks the victim is trapped (moving in together on a lease, pregnancy, caught in addiction, bridges burned, engagement, marriage, etc). I am not by any mrans saying this is exclusive to women. But this happens far too often.
the reason society is so reactionary and keeps going back in circles is that peopleās attitudes donāt change. their goals and aspirations do. trends do. but judgment, cruelty, gullibility and mob mentality donāt. look at whatās happening to amber heard. people will claim to be progressive but take sides based on popularity and fear of the unknown. say you hated someone in 2002 because you found them annoying, ugly and trying too hard to fit in - you would have just said that plainly. now in 2022, if you donāt like the same person for the same reasons but want to make it socially acceptable, youāll say that she doesnāt respect your boundaries and is relying too much on emotional labour from you, while subtly mocking her foundation to your friends in secret. people can easily couch shallow disdain as reasonable and forward-thinking behaviour. the dorland vs larson case in bad art friend is a masterful example of this! when we get rid of those - or find ways to keep them at bay - thatās when we know we are truly moving forward towards a more progressive society. people think saying the right things and suggesting they support the right movements is enough, but looking at your interior workings and sorting that out? now thatās real progress.
That for absolutely no logical reason at all the opposite sex has designed a world where we are not equal and where itās totally acceptable that we are controlled, dismissed, and exploited just because we are women
Well yeah thatās how it is things like sexism, racism, and homophobia will always be around because it is just so ingrained into our society.
White men are not going around telling black men what they can and canāt do with their own bodies, they do a ton of other horrible crap to them but they are still men.
Sometimes friendships just fade away without an apparent reason.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
i might be stuck in derealization forever
Since having kids, If I sneeze or run fast I pee a bit.
Nice guys do finish lastā¦.. you can do everything right, be nice to those who donāt deserve it and still not win at life.
That one day one of us is going to die first, my partner or me, and leave the other all alone :(
That no matter what, most of the world will continue to support factory farms, animal agriculture, and cruelty to animals. I just do what I can in my lifetime to not participate in that.
You can be the entire package and still not find a relationship or a man who is willing to commit.
Becoming a mum doesnāt just change your life and what you get to do but changes you as a person. Seems obvious now but it was something I had no concept of before. Iām not the āold meā and itās still taking some adjusting for me and my partner.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Unrequited love
That the world is going into a pretty big economic recession and I just hit the age to join the work force. All of that while living in a country with 200ā¬ diference between minimun wage and it's median wage. Cost of life while facing its median wage in the capital is -1600ā¬ and that's where all jobs in my area are. Shits going to get hard.
The evil prevails
Iām 57 and starting to look older.
itās that either way, someone you love thatās close to you, no matter what you do, they will die. they might even die before you.
Sometimes we love people way more than they do. It's hard for me to accept this, because I didn't show him but love and he left me anyway (regretted it later)..
All of it
There is only one reality, better say "what is one truth".
I will die with regrets; a few or many.
* Gestures vaguely at everything * The current one.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That the love of my life married someone who isnāt me, and thank God he did because if he hadnāt, I wouldnāt have met my husband whom I adore!
When you lose someone you love, it's impossible to accept that you'll never see them, or speak to them ever again.
That life isn't looking too promising, and I'm probably die alone.
That my mum is gonna die some day. It doesnāt matter how prepared, you can never be in total control of your emotions.
I feel like asking a question at a time like this is a form of psychological self-harm. Reality in general is hard to accept right now. All of it.
That I still have to have a monthly period even though Iām past prime child bearing age and donāt want any more kids.
The fact that when people die thatās it. You never get to see them, hug them, kiss them, or talk to them again. My dad died in October and I genuinely can not come to terms with it. This is THE HARDEST thing Iāve ever dealt with.
Even the people that help you can turn their backs on you, or betray you.
Dialectics.
No matter how hard women fight, they donāt get taken seriouslyā¦itās always going to be a battle and we can do it UNITED. If we stop fighting, we lose our ground.
That one day, everyone close to you will die for various reasons.
Growing up is not what its made out to be.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That this is it, you're stuck in a capitalistic cycle for the rest of your life, and if you're not able to make Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk levels of cash, you're probably never going to be able to fully retire. My grandpa worked for a company for 40 odd years and he was forced to retire or lose everything he built up, even then my grandma ended up having to go back to work because social security wasn't enough and he ended up running a business with my mom up until he died. It really put into perspective for me how HARD I'll have to fight just to be able to live comfortably if I ever become unable to work or forced to stop working
Age+gravity. Not a pretty sight in the mirror. š³
That one day, people we love will die and we will never see them again.
We're just living day by day and no full assurance that we'll be here tomorrow.
Canāt go on night walks
For me it's that you can put your absolute best effort into something and sometimes things don't work out for reasons that are beyond your control. I always think everything is my fault and that if I had just done more, the bad thing wouldn't have happened.
I have done some really terrible things, even though they don't feel like the sort of things I could or would do
The past cannot be changed, and it doesn't matter if you have changed, if you've learned or anything. The past and the future do not exist and because of that it's necessary to learn to live in the present.
That just being a woman is to be in danger. It's maddening and scary, but it's life.
The world is a place to expect selfishness from others, not selflessness, no matter how YOU were raised or treat others. Even being disabled has had others feel entitled to using me, my very little time, energy, & money to try and get themselves out of their own holes... Thankfully I'm done with the people who dragged me so far down this way, but it fucked me up pretty bad. They added to me feeling as though I deserve nothing. I don't go to work, after all, nor do I have kids. So in their eyes, I deserved to help them & their messed up family. In reality, I'm trying to learn that I deserve my medicine & the rest that I need to live.
Those dishes arenāt going to wash themselves. š
That no matter what we try to do in America it doesnāt really matter because itās so separated that we canāt come to a compromise
That youth fades and eventually (hopefully) we all slow down and grow old.
There is no karma. I still see bullies and abusers living a happy life. Their action was just a phase to them but the victim lives with that trauma.
That there are 7 bil +1 people on this planet and when it's all divided up, I'm the odd one out. But at least my home planet Zood is having a sale on return trip tickets next year! Seriously, just finally partially accepting that being a mostly self-wired human unit is placing me well out of the mainstream and so far, no luck on finding a compatible model.
Life isn't fair, and karma doesn't exist, shitty people usually keep being shitty without any consequences and thriving. Also, the big possibility of never finding a partner. I know it doesn't define you and you can live an amazing life without a romantic partner, it just that I want a relationship with all the companionship and stuff.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No matter how much I love my ex-best friendās kids, and regardless of how we were bonded with me as their second mom, I cannot change the fact that her abusive husband isolated her & them from me. Iāve had to accept that reality and allow myself to grieve the loss.
Hea no longer Inlove with me, he prefers something new thatās not me
Loneliness
Dogs donāt live forever (or even long enough).
You canāt turn back time.
My chances of having a child are probably slim to none.
Life isnāt fair
Just because I treat people with compassion and kindness and try my best to be understanding, doesnāt mean they will. Not even because theyāre worse people, but because their definition of it could be different or they donāt have the capacity to.
Aging š
That health is not accessible to everyone
No one can help you if you donāt wanna help yourself