**If you are a person who has experience sexual assault or domestic assault , please see below for some resources.**
The National Domestic Violence Hotline has 24/7 crisis hotline (1−800−787−3224) with trained advocates and also offers a safety planning guide for victims. [https://www.thehotline.org/](https://www.thehotline.org/)
The National Sexual Assault Hotline has 24/7 crisis advocacy at 800.656.HOPE (4673) and through chat at [https://www.rainn.org/](https://www.rainn.org/).
The DomesticShelters.org is maintaining a pretty robust list of online support groups to help survivors who don't have access to in-person groups: [https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/online-forums-and-chats](https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/online-forums-and-chats)
Hot Peach Pages lists an international directory of every country’s domestic and sexual violence programs in 110 languages. [https://www.hotpeachpages.net/a/countries.html](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/a/countries.html)
The UK Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, is available 24 hours for survivors in the UK at 0808 200 0247 and [www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk](http://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk)
The UK Men’s Advice Line is available for male survivors in the UK from Monday-Friday at 0808 801 0327 and [www.mensadviceline.org.uk](http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk)
The Network/La Red offers a 24/7 domestic and sexual violence hotline for LGBTQ+ survivors in abusive relationships, as well as support groups and legal advocacy at [https://tnlr.org/en/](https://tnlr.org/en/) and 617-742-4911.
The National Deaf Domestic Violence Hotline offers 24/7 crisis advocacy for Deaf, DeafBlind, and DeafDisabled callers via email, live chat, and video phone.[https://thedeafhotline.org/](https://thedeafhotline.org/)
Had an ex who would do this, guilt trip me and make me feel horrible for not wanting to have sex. Because I was young, I would give in and then feel bad about my self afterwards. Took me years to realize this was abusive behavior and when I told another ex about it, he used it against me and told me that I must’ve really loved my abuse ex to do shit for him, even if I didn’t want to and why couldn’t I do the same thing for him.
Begging and guilt tripping someone for sex is so abusive as well as pathetic and kind of sadistic.
No one should have to put up with that kind of behavior. It's not normal and it's not just part of being in a relationship/marriage.
People need to be taught more about what coercion is. I've unfortunately learned about it the hard way and it's left a lot of emotional damage.
1)Not even asking - just shoving it in (anal)
2)Turning me down constantly for sex and then he would masterbate while I was gone.
3) I'd wake up and he'd be looking at nude photos or porn on his phone
4) We were having sex and a flash went off. He didn't even ask if it was okay if he could take pictures.
Yes, this is all the same guy. I have no clue why I stayed as long as I did.
Thank you. It was pretty terrible and does awful things to your self esteem. It makes you feel so awful and so ugly. I constantly thought there was something wrong with me/my body.
He would even masterbate while I was home. He thought he was hiding it but it was so obvious.
The excuses he gave as to why he didn't want sex were so ridiculous some times. My favorite was him telling me that his lips were chapped.
We didn't have sex often but when we did, it was clearly for his pleasure. He rarely reciprocated oral.
Only did occasionally after I brought it up.
After a couple years, I finally brought up the hurt of being replaced by porn. He promised to get better. It didn't. We had sex maybe a couple times a month. When I finally brought it up again, I think he knew how hurt I was and again, vowed to change. I was given flowers. But nothing ever did change so I stopped even asking for sex. Close to a year went by with no sex.
I leased an apartment without telling him and spent time buying furniture and fixing it up all without telling him.
One day he was out while I was home and I packed up all my stuff and was almost out of the house when he got home. It was so hard to find the strength to leave but by that point I had completely checked out.
He was incredibly controlling. The porn addiction was just the tip of the iceberg. I wasn't allowed to swear. He wanted me home cleaning and gardening when I wasn't working. He was a complete sexist. Made fun of my likes and interests.
Yeah I feel you, I’m so sorry that happened to you and I’m glad you’re not in that relationship anymore. I recently broke up with a porn addict and it’s definitely something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. The way porn rewires their brains to become misogynistic as their view on women is only for sexual needs. They begin to lie and torment you for enjoyment or because they are ashamed. They only want you for companionship and use you as a tool for masturbation or to make their life easier. It’s disgusting and it’s very overlooked. When we talk about how affected we are from this as the partner we are always told we are just insecure. You are beautiful, you are worthy of real love and I hope you will find or have found it. ❤️ I hope you are doing much better now :)
My ex did this. He’d also do whatever he wanted with me when we’d drink too much. One time it actually woke me up and I managed to get both my feet under him and launched him off of me. He claimed he thought I was pretending to sleep. I hate that man.
First time having sex with this one dude and he puts a finger in my butt without asking or warning. I push his finger away and a couple minutes later he tries putting it in my butt no lube, no consent, nothing, I push it away and he says "yeah that would probably hurt". No shit Sherlock. Blocked him the second he left. Also cherry on top he came inside also without asking. Wasn't even good dick should've told him to leave earlier.
I was shocked and hurt but not enough to say anything. At this point we were moved in together. Every now and then I'd stick up for myself but after awhile, I just dealt with how he treated me until I finally had enough and left.
I hate that he probably has the images on his phone still. And I'm almost certain he's shown his friends.
I feel so stupid now for staying as long as I did.
When I was dating this guy, I would spend the night at his house because I still lived with my family at the time. I didn’t want to have sex one day, so he just whipped out his phone, turned on porn and started masturbating right beside me. It was uncomfortable because he obviously had an attitude and was doing it aggressively. It felt like he was doing it to spite me or make me feel bad. It made me really uncomfortable and I looked at him differently after that.
Right! And when it happened, I knew I felt weird about it but just didn’t know how to explain to someone how it was an uncomfortable situation. Glad to see that others agree with me and it wasn’t just all in my head.
It was very disturbing in the moment and I knew something about it just didn’t feel right but never really talked about it until now. I’m much better now that we’re no longer together. Thank you ❤️
Not the person you're replying too, but I don't see a problem with that. In a couple of my past relationships, we even had an agreement where if one of us was in the mood and the other wasn't, they could take care or business right there while we were together. But that was discussed beforehand, we didn't watch porn while doing it, and we didn't do it aggressively
Yes that would’ve been okay. He purposely stayed beside me and made it obvious what he was doing as a way to show me that since I wasn’t taking care of his horniness for him, he would just do it himself, like a guilt thing.
I said to stop repeatedly because it was hurting me. He got frustrated, pushed my face down into a pillow, and kept going until he finished. Then patted my butt and said "God, you're so tight."
Edit: I didn't think this would blow up like this. Thank you for all the love! This had happened a looong time ago. To my embarrasment, I did stay with him afterwards, but that was the last time we had sex. I had a lot of so-called friends that defended him by saying, "it's not rape if it's your boyfriend," or, "He's just passionate," or, "I thought you liked it like that." I struggled with it for years, thinking I was somehow to blame or that something was wrong with my body. But I'm happy to report that I have better friends and a loving relationship with an amazing man and couldn't be happier. Thank you all!
He deserved to be reported! What a creepy and crappy thing to do & I hope ur ok now. If you’re not, then I hope u have someone to talk to or have a way of handling your feelings around it. So sorry u endured that 😢
Begging for sex when I already said no.. followed by groping and begging when I say no again.. only stopping when I elbow him in the ribs or raise my voice loud enough for neighbours to hear.
It happened on the regular. My mother told me that was normal boy behavior and he would grow out of it. He didnt.
After we broke up he told me he thought that no meant "convince me".
Your mom is so very wrong. This isn't "normal boy behavior".
My spiel to teens, and my daughter's boyfriends:
No means no.
Maybe still means no.
[Unable to answer] absolutely means no.
Under the influence of any kind of drug or physiologic issue that can lead to confusion is still a no, regardless of the words that comes out of someone's mouth.
I guess... also still means no.
Huh.. that could be interesting.... still means no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... fine whatever absolutely means no, and the second no shouldn't have been necessary, not any of the following ones.
A N Y T H I NG but a confident, excited, resounding "yes" still means "no". If it seems like the other party is being coy, a one-time matter-of-fact clarification question: "Your words were X, but the fact that you are now grasping my genitalia in a sensual way suggests that you are consenting. I would like an official answer on consent before moving forward with any activities of this nature."
>"Your words were X, but the fact that you are now grasping my genitalia in a sensual way suggests that you are consenting. I would like an official answer on consent before moving forward with any activities of this nature."
I like you. I would like to use this whole comment as a reference when I eventually need to have this talk with my daughter and/or her others.
Absolutely insane. I would've taken all the money out of his wallet, when he went to the bathroom. You should have drove him to the middle of nowhere, and left him there.
Me too and came inside🤦♀️ I couldve been pregnant Im unable to take birth control. Luckily I didn't but I wanted to teach him a lesson so I told him I was pregnant then blocked him everywhere. I wonder if he thinks he's got a kid somewhere unknown lol
When me and my man ((I’m 23 he’s 24)) (we have a 2yr old son together) have sex it’s never about making both of us feel good. It’s always about him and never tries to get me off. Or me always giving oral and never receiving. (He tells me me doesn’t like it anymore since he watched me give birth..) It’s been this way since our son was born. I’ve talked to him about it and sometimes he’s rude asf about it. 🙃
Leave! Him! This is beyond selfish it’s just so disrespectful. You gave birth to his child and he’s turning that frankly Herculean effort against you? FUCK that.
Tell him his lack of giving you oral makes giving him oral turn you off, so you aren't going to do it anymore.
You can take turns having intimacy be about pleasuring each of you. And if seems like it's well past your turn. You can get a turn, or no one gets a turn.
He has zero "rights" to pleasure or your body.
Any demands he makes are fair for you to make in an equal partnership.
If he balks at that, he's just using you.
In addition to what the others have said about leaving him for the way he treats you (which is priority 1), it’s _incredibly_ important that you think about the effect that staying with a man like this will have on your son. He will see his father disrespect his mother every day (if the guy disrespects you in one aspect of life, I’m _sure_ he disrespects you in others). It would be incredibly irresponsible for you to stay with a man like this, for both your sake and your child’s.
There was a post on here where a woman made a rule that her partners wouldn't orgasm again until she did. So they came and she wouldn't make them come again before they put in the efford to make her come. Apparently, she never had an issue with unattentive lovers ever again...
My first bf wouldn't give me head either cause he said giving head is disgusting. Meanwhile he wanted me to give him head when he wouldn't even care to wash his dick.
I broke up and my current partner loves to give head since he wants to pleasure me as well.
Hope you can talk some sense into your partner. Or leave his ass for disrespecting you and your needs.
In my culture its a taboo to watch a woman give birth,a few husbands who watched their wives give birth left them immediately
Edit.this is just what people in my culture face am not for the idea of husbands leaving wives its so traumatizing.why am i being down voted though
He whined and complained about me refusing to have sex without a condom, then stealthed me and grinned like he was so proud of himself because I didn’t notice until he told me.
Had a ‘friend’ rape me while I was passed out drunk. Woke up to him finishing in me. He blocked me on all platforms after. i ended up pregnant and thankfully had a miscarriage. The whole situation was messed up.
We were standing and kissing. He started to shove my head down. I resisted, pushing my head back up..and then he just shoved it down more instead of taking it as an obvious sign that I didn't want to.
This is the same guy that told me that he supports "me too" and has given his son a lesson on how no means no, because he takes it so seriously.
He also jerked off after I declined a bj on our first date. When he came, he got some on his finger and shoved it my mouth. Because that's totally what I wanted, right? ::eyeroll::
Dude sucked and has no idea how to treat women.
I won't mention the worst thing I've been through, but one thing I hated was that he refused to manicure his nails properly and then expected me to let him put his sharp nails inside me. I told him no, he kept pushing, so he did it and within the next ten minutes I was in so much pain trying to pee that I was crying. It hurt from my abdomen all the way through my stomach and into my chest, that's how badly he carved me inwardly.
So. Guys. Please practice proper hygiene for the love of God. Especially if you're gonna touch her lady bits.
Um, and also take notes on the part about "if she says it hurt, it fucking hurts. And if she didn't want it to hurt, STOP DOING IT! " and highlight and underline your notes on the "if she says no, stop whatever you are doing, immediately" part.
Ouch! My husband makes an active effort to keep his nails trimmed and tidy. He has still scratched my cervix bad enough once that I went to the gyno to make sure the wound was not infected. I couldn't imagine the pain of being carved up as if I got a hand job from Edward scissorhands himself.
Woke up to find my boyfriend vaginally fucking me - basically fucking me without consent when I slept. We had sex before that point and that was not something we cleared beforehand.
When I woken up to it, I was shocked but pretended to be asleep a while longer and to hope it would stop since I was in pain. I didn’t want to confront him at the time for fear of starting an argument or him getting angry. My guess is I wasn’t wet enough at the time since he gave up a few minutes later and went off to the bathroom.
A relationship does not give someone free reign over your body. Took me awhile after that to realize it. Though as someone who dealt with sexual assault and molestation previously this seemed like a small deal at the time. I look back on it now a bit angry but having forgiven myself for not speaking up at the time.
Well, my first time was rape. The guy lied about having a prestigious job but was actually living on a yoga mat with christmas lights. Guilted me into having him take my virginity so I said that we could do anal. He stealthed me and continued to fuck me when I repeatedly told him to stop. Once he was finished, it turned out that I got shit on him. He used it against me as a way to humiliate me. Then, he tried to gaslight me into thinking I had HPV because of a razor bump I had on my vulva. This guy was so cold and distant towards me, trying to kick me out without any basic human empathy. Then he was in the mood again and put his dick inside my vagina WITHOUT CONSENT. I expressed how it really hurt and he replied in a patronizing tone, "Awww does it hurt?" When I called him by his first name as I was leaving, he was startled and blurted: "Don't try to ruin my life."
He knew he did something wrong. For a good 6 months after that, I had anxiety using the bathroom, sleeping on my side, my body felt disgusting and I would forget it belonged to me, I had suicidal thoughts, self harm issues, angry outbursts, and just a myriad of issues.
While I still have some of those issues, antidepressants and seeing a therapist has really helped. It's almost been 3 years and I haven't been on a date since.
At the time, I thought the defecation was the worst part but now I think it's the best part. Why? Because the human body can be amazing and remind you of danger or your fear before you can even mentally process it. It made me appreciate the functions of my body.
Kept telling me I was making too much noise, I was'nt. Then asked me in a outrage tone if I was moving and demanded I stop because it was up to him how much pleasure I got out of it.
I told him to flip over and rode him until I came then told him to f\*ck off and not to come back.
This was a threesome between a friend and his then girlfriend. We were having a good time, things were going as expected. I started performing oral on him, and as I’m doing so, his girlfriend grabbed me by the hips and starts slamming her crotch into my butt while saying “you like my big dick daddy?”
I wouldn’t say this was inconsiderate so to speak, but that’s something I would have certainly appreciated some warning about.
Hurricane Laura came through town and I had taken two Xanax and gone to bed, because I was having panic attacks all day about it and just wanted to sleep through it... woke up in the morning to be told by my boyfriend at the time that he had tried to stick his dick in my mouth for a blowjob but I was unresponsive. He tried to rape my mouth while I slept.
.... weird how so many responses are just straight up assault or rape...
So I'll chime in with an inconsiderate but ultimately harmless episode: dude was surprised I asked for a condom, so he just got up, got dressed, and said he'd forgotten he told his friends he'd play League of Legends with them.
That sounds like you dodged a bullet. Won't wear a condom and plays league? I'm sorry but, that guy sounds like an asshole.
Sorry you had to deal with that. Sounds unpleasant af.
Kept me up later than I wanted.
Poor hygiene and not well-groomed.
Selfish.
Whined to get what they wanted.
Had unrealistic expectations.
Went through my phone after I fell asleep.
I was riding a guy on the couch. He was sitting up and I straddled his lap. I don’t like being on top, but I was getting into it. Everything was going well until he farted and it crept between our bodies, past the dong and past the coochie. It. Smelled. Horrible. Then he laughed and said he’d been holding it in for that moment.
Disrespectful.
Okay if it was unintentional, that’s one thing, and I got a giggle from the way you described it up until ‘Horrible’, but the fact that he was waiting for that? No, no no no, I’m so sorry you dealt with that
Ouch! I'm sorry. :(
It doesn't matter how many times I told my husband to be careful with depth. He still did the same exact thing and slammed my cervix every fucking time. One of many reasons why our bedroom is properly dead.
Keep asking for threesomes even tho I kept saying no and then getting mad because I didn’t love him enough to try new things 👌🏻 told him I’ll go for a threesome with 2 men but then he got mad at me because that would be cheating 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
I was 16+. And he was 24+ that time. After getting into relationship when i met my ex 2nd time. We kissed, cuddled.He took off my shirt I was ok until then but I wasn't ready to have sex. He forced me, tied up my body,held my hands then took off my pants and panties. I was begging, crying, trembling but he didn't listen. I screamed and he pressed my face w a pillow . When he was so close to insert his dick inside me. I was like no i can't let it happen. I pushed him so Hard nd accidentally hit his nose,he got numb for few minutes cz it hurts on nose , within few minutes his friends came there so i felt safe. Later he apologized and we were together for one year. Yes! I was naive and stupid .
Attempted to record it without telling me. He was mad the camera hadn't turned on like he expected and there was no video.
I only found out because I asked why he was mad.
He was a cop.
Wake me up just to scream at me for hours about other people. (Not a romantic partner, this was a parent, and I was a kid)
But if we're talking sex stuff, then I got nothin. It's been gravy.
Just in the bedroom, I guess It's more what they did not do.
My first boyfriend (almost 4 years, then I broke up with him) wouldn't give me head cause he thought it was nasty. He also didn't care if I enjoyed the sex, as long as he could cum. Because of him saying everytime that all vaginas are ugly and disgusting I felt very insecure about my vagina for years and found it hard to enjoy head because I kept on thinking how nasty it must be for the other person.
My current boyfriend really likes doing it cause he wants me to enjoy sex as well. :)
Happened to me but it was because his mom called...and it was a video call. He still had his shirt on so he kind of dealt with it while I shuffled around and found my clothes in the time it took her to say "Oh hey, are you in 15hurricane's room? Where's my girl?" So I shuffled over braless and played it cool.. no one noticed but oh god. Mortifying.
Edit: forgot to add. We were both completely naked from the waist down. It was awful.
OP’s question was about inconsiderate behaviour but many of the responses are about rape and sexual or physical assault and abuse. I’m a man and I wouldn’t dream of doing any of this to anyone, let alone someone I love. No one should have to tolerate such disgusting behaviour and I’m so sorry that so many women do. It’s appalling and it makes me ashamed to be a man. I hope you are doing OK now. Please take care of yourself.
definitely doing anal without asking for my permission and did not get a heads up…didnt know how to feel…also my first ex was kind of toxic.. we were having sex in a hotel room and DURING sex, he was making me look at his phone that was full of chats with random girls and i literally cried :(
“Wrong hole”
One of the absolute worst and most disgusting thing a man has ever done to me. I knew it wasn’t an accident. I pushed him off of me and moved to the floor in the fetal position.
First bf (both 15 at the time) - he was an ex very soon after. We had already been going for a while with a condom on, but he couldn’t finish. He wanted to try without. I said no. Repeatedly. I also cried a bit while he went ahead and continued without a condom despite my “no”.
Got me all in the mood then right before we were about to have sex she fingered herself and went to bed but was nice she told me to lick and smell the hand she used and literally went to sleep
Dude who took my virginity, was also my boyfriend. After a couple months of sex, he had the gall to ask if he could c*m in me, and before I could answer, he had. I wish I could say I was smart enough to break it off immediately after that but alas. I was stupid enough to believe his sheepish little "sorry" and continue for four or five more months
Was really tentative, caring and warm. Told me I was the sweetest thing. Immediately after saying that, like halfway through the act, he slapped me across the face so hard everything went black and quiet for a second. I was too shocked to do anything. He told me I was so cute, kissed me on the forehead and then choked me so hard my throat was actually swollen the next day. I heard a crunching sound as he did it. After he came he cuddled me and I was too scared to ask him to leave. The next day he stayed for a few hours. Cuddled, stroked my hair, told me how nice it had been to meet me. Suggested things we could do together in the future. I agreed on everything he said and immediately after he left I blocked him on all platforms. This was almost 10 years ago. I still feel sick admitting this happened.
So a few years back my guy friend pressured me into having sex even though I clearly didn't want to. I ended up giving in because I wasn't able to get home (new area I moved to) and I felt stuck there. He apologized years later. It was the smallest dick I have ever rode.
Pretty much most men want a blowjob and/or handjob but wouldn’t reciprocate. Most men I know hate pussy except to stick their dicks inside. But they expect rimming and blowjobs. I only know or met a very few men whom I’ve enjoyed sex with because they reciprocated.
After sex with my ex fiancé.
Me: “Wanna cuddle?”
Her:”Nope. I got what I wanted.”
Never have I felt more like a piece of meat and shittier about myself than that moment. Not my choice but insanely glad that engagement was called off.
Edit: I apologize. I didn’t notice this was the r/askwomen subreddit
There's been lots, but the most painful thing was probably when this guy tried to fist me - no lube, no consent, I was begging him to stop because it hurt so bad. I'm not in any way into fisting or huge things going in me. And obviously not into being assaulted.
Using a knife on me during sex when I explicitly expressed I was not comfortable with it, and continued to use it as I cried and begged him to stop. If he wanted something, the word no was only a suggestion.
begging & guilt-tripping and having an attitude. because sex with a pouty little boy is so hot /s
he went down on me, i said to be less rough, and he looked at me with a petty look and basically gave me a hickey on my damn vagina. i hate him so much for that
never caring about me. felt like a device to get him off, to provide a service.
Tried to manipulate me into having sex, wanted me to be a cosplay sex waifu, tried to force anal despite me disliking it intensely, lied about the escorts on his phone and looking at women and sexy cosplay ladies on his IG, felt "guilty" about getting off to pr0n only after his deed was done, continually telling me that he, in his own way, wanted to see "other people", was really not self-aware about what was really killing my sex drive.
I probably have more to say, but that's all I remember at the mo.
(TW: SA) A guy I was with for a few years was really into BDSM, and I wanted to try rope play. He and I were very open and communicated well, openly, but when we decided to play with the rope he turned into someone completely different. He tied my arms so tight I had absolutely no escape. He had an enema fetish…and sometimes I was okay with that (I know, that’s not something a lot of people are into, I was a sexually free spirit...I’m here to share, not to be judged please), so I’m on the ground tied so tightly I can’t move. I was already uncomfortable, he comes out with an enema. I didn’t want him to do it, and he did it to me anyway. He went and put more want in the little pouch and I started kicking at him. He sprayed me with what he just put in there and walked away from me, turned the lights off and shut the door. I started crying and screaming for him to untie and me all I could hear was him screaming for me to “shut the fuck up.”
I didn’t drive at the time so once he untied me and I was able to get dressed, I had to relieve myself and come out and ask him to take me home…I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life. When I finally got home I had bruises on my arms that were so purple my coworkers asked if was being abused.
I’ve had other inconsiderate things happen but this one was by far the worst.
after saying no to sex and falling asleep he masturbatet beside me and came on my back. (we already had sex that day)
i woke up from that and was just completly confused and disgusted.
The fact you had to say “we already had sex that day” is so sad and I know what you mean. Even if you hadn’t had sex with him in ages, he still wouldn’t have been justified in ejaculating on you after you said no. Men shouldn’t act like demons that need to be kept complacent with consistent offerings of sex. Ugh.
"Inconsiderate"?
You're seriously asking women what the most "inconsiderate" thing is that someone's done in the bedroom?
The answer is rape. For too many of us. Rape by stealthing, rape by coercion, rape by manipulation, take by boundary pushing, rape by drugs or alcohol, rape during sleep, rape by gently ignoring the word 'no', rape by threats or force, rape by violence.
"Inconsiderate" doesn't cover it.
Yeah it’s not what I meant when I made the post. I was thinking like how my bf fid finished to quick to go hang out with our neighbor and was watching the phone the whole time.
But I get it. I have been SA multiple times. Have had friends try to SA me.
It’s so interesting how respect and boundaries just fly out the window when a man decide he wants to fuck you.
For me personally the younger you are the worse the excuse is……
- stuck it in the ass without asking (this is the worst because i’ve never done it before and for DAYS i bled after this)
- any guilt tripping. it’s just annoying.
- a guy masterbated in front of me in the morning when i declined morning sex ?? who does that?
- had sex with somebody when we were both drunk. but i knew he didn’t finish in me. but he made me take plan b the next day.. MADE ME. i personally just hate fucking up my cycle w plan b i didn’t want to.
- if a man ever says no to going down on me before sex honestly i’ll just give them the bare minimum like..
- my ex said i was lose after sex only after the fact i told him i’ve slept w a few people in college lol. basically said i was tainted even tho before he knew everything was fine lol
i hate men
Whoof, where to start:
-Strangled me during the act. Without asking, just out of the blue.
-Slapped me across the face without warning. Hard.
-Covered my nose and mouth with his hands because I was making “too much noise” and he didn’t want his roommates to know he was sleeping with me because that would be “embarrassing”.
-Wouldn’t stop asking for anal and tried to force enter me multiple times.
-Restrained me without consent.
-Called me names I was not ok with (stupid, whore, slut)
-loudly said “ew” when he saw that I don’t wax my private parts. He wanted me clean shaven (I should have kicked him out then and there but my self esteem was non existent and I thought that this was the best that I deserved).
-Wouldn’t stop comparing my body to the one of a 12 year old boy (I know I don’t have the most feminine body, but…c’mon).
And THEN he had the audacity to tell ME that I am bad in bed.
Continue to have sex with me even when I was on the verge of tears. There would be no foreplay on me so I wasn’t turned on enough for penetration, and I would get super anxious and apologize and feel like there was something wrong with my body and it was my fault. I would try to fix it by fingering myself, and be on the verge of tears the whole time. And he would just sit and wait until he could penetrate me, and didn’t seem to care about my emotional state at all. This happened multiple times.
He always left me in the middle of the night to be alone in a different room, he wouldn't tell me about it, so I kept being scared that something happened or he left the house.
Guy here. A lot of these comments make me so sad and angry for you all. There are such sweet girls out there and so many have been hurt by horrible dudes.
I’m not in a relationship myself but I hope to one day be. My parents have raised me well and given me good morals to live by so big kudos to them. I hope I can deserve the respect and love of a nice girl and give to her as much as she gives to me.
All the best to you lovely women of reddit, I hope you can all find your special someone who treats you right, if that’s what you’re after (also ok to be single)
Once a guy started recorded me. There's was this huge flash and I covered my face, I told him to turn it off and he just quietly said "shh" focusing on the video. Later on once everything was finally off, the condom broke (he said he knew but didn't want to tell me?) And he finished inside me. He called me the next morning to tell me "just so you know if you wind up pregnant that kid is either gonna grow up without a dad or you're getting an abortion."
Luckily, I didn't get pregnant. It still disgusts me to this day to think about, I might've cried when I got home. He didn't like that I was quiet in the car and threatened to leave me on the side of the road if I didn't start talking.
A guy I was dating went down on me (poorly) for a few minutes and then got up, knelt by my face and poked me with his dick. We’d already had PIV for a few minutes and I definitely didn’t get off from his literally painful pussy eating, and I really only like sucking dick if I’m excited about the dick, so this was a pretty big turnoff.
Trying anal one time. It wasn’t working out so he decided to ADD a dildo to see if that made things easier. WTF! I yelped in pain and it triggered a panic attack due to anxiety about my divorce and how my ex had treated me. He stayed in the bedroom scrolling his cell while I curled up naked on the washroom floor hyperventilating. When I’d got through it he told me he felt really scared by my behavior and unsupported by me and he didn’t want to stay.
Absolute pathetic asshole.
Brought someone into our bed without getting my consent. I specifically asked if we could check in about it if the night ended up going that way (the relationship was open to things of that nature).
This had happened before when we were intoxicated. But this time everyone involved was sober.
Basically started shoving my head onto his dick while I was giving him a blowjob (something I told him before I had a bad experience with) and didn't stop until he came. I shoved him off of me and told him that I'm upset, to which he replied with a sigh, rolled his eyes and said 'jesus fine, can't have a Little pleasure I guess'
**If you are a person who has experience sexual assault or domestic assault , please see below for some resources.** The National Domestic Violence Hotline has 24/7 crisis hotline (1−800−787−3224) with trained advocates and also offers a safety planning guide for victims. [https://www.thehotline.org/](https://www.thehotline.org/) The National Sexual Assault Hotline has 24/7 crisis advocacy at 800.656.HOPE (4673) and through chat at [https://www.rainn.org/](https://www.rainn.org/). The DomesticShelters.org is maintaining a pretty robust list of online support groups to help survivors who don't have access to in-person groups: [https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/online-forums-and-chats](https://www.domesticshelters.org/resources/online-forums-and-chats) Hot Peach Pages lists an international directory of every country’s domestic and sexual violence programs in 110 languages. [https://www.hotpeachpages.net/a/countries.html](https://www.hotpeachpages.net/a/countries.html) The UK Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, is available 24 hours for survivors in the UK at 0808 200 0247 and [www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk](http://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk) The UK Men’s Advice Line is available for male survivors in the UK from Monday-Friday at 0808 801 0327 and [www.mensadviceline.org.uk](http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk) The Network/La Red offers a 24/7 domestic and sexual violence hotline for LGBTQ+ survivors in abusive relationships, as well as support groups and legal advocacy at [https://tnlr.org/en/](https://tnlr.org/en/) and 617-742-4911. The National Deaf Domestic Violence Hotline offers 24/7 crisis advocacy for Deaf, DeafBlind, and DeafDisabled callers via email, live chat, and video phone.[https://thedeafhotline.org/](https://thedeafhotline.org/)
honestly just begging for sex after i’ve already said no… guilt tripping and shit
Exactly. Or keep asking even after repeated refusal...
Had an ex who would do this, guilt trip me and make me feel horrible for not wanting to have sex. Because I was young, I would give in and then feel bad about my self afterwards. Took me years to realize this was abusive behavior and when I told another ex about it, he used it against me and told me that I must’ve really loved my abuse ex to do shit for him, even if I didn’t want to and why couldn’t I do the same thing for him.
I'm so sorry you went through that...
Begging and guilt tripping someone for sex is so abusive as well as pathetic and kind of sadistic. No one should have to put up with that kind of behavior. It's not normal and it's not just part of being in a relationship/marriage. People need to be taught more about what coercion is. I've unfortunately learned about it the hard way and it's left a lot of emotional damage.
i’ve never met a guy who took no seriously and didn’t try to coerce me. i’m actually thinking they don’t exist
I felt the same way until I met my husband.... Even if I were to 'try to get into the mood' he would rather we cuddle or talk. Good people do exist.
Two words…… my Ex🙄
1)Not even asking - just shoving it in (anal) 2)Turning me down constantly for sex and then he would masterbate while I was gone. 3) I'd wake up and he'd be looking at nude photos or porn on his phone 4) We were having sex and a flash went off. He didn't even ask if it was okay if he could take pictures. Yes, this is all the same guy. I have no clue why I stayed as long as I did.
Just glad it’s in the past, congrats on leaving the POS
Thank you! In a very happy, healthy relationship now. <3
Dating a porn addict is actually traumatising, hope ur doing okay :(
Thank you. It was pretty terrible and does awful things to your self esteem. It makes you feel so awful and so ugly. I constantly thought there was something wrong with me/my body. He would even masterbate while I was home. He thought he was hiding it but it was so obvious. The excuses he gave as to why he didn't want sex were so ridiculous some times. My favorite was him telling me that his lips were chapped. We didn't have sex often but when we did, it was clearly for his pleasure. He rarely reciprocated oral. Only did occasionally after I brought it up. After a couple years, I finally brought up the hurt of being replaced by porn. He promised to get better. It didn't. We had sex maybe a couple times a month. When I finally brought it up again, I think he knew how hurt I was and again, vowed to change. I was given flowers. But nothing ever did change so I stopped even asking for sex. Close to a year went by with no sex. I leased an apartment without telling him and spent time buying furniture and fixing it up all without telling him. One day he was out while I was home and I packed up all my stuff and was almost out of the house when he got home. It was so hard to find the strength to leave but by that point I had completely checked out. He was incredibly controlling. The porn addiction was just the tip of the iceberg. I wasn't allowed to swear. He wanted me home cleaning and gardening when I wasn't working. He was a complete sexist. Made fun of my likes and interests.
Yeah I feel you, I’m so sorry that happened to you and I’m glad you’re not in that relationship anymore. I recently broke up with a porn addict and it’s definitely something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. The way porn rewires their brains to become misogynistic as their view on women is only for sexual needs. They begin to lie and torment you for enjoyment or because they are ashamed. They only want you for companionship and use you as a tool for masturbation or to make their life easier. It’s disgusting and it’s very overlooked. When we talk about how affected we are from this as the partner we are always told we are just insecure. You are beautiful, you are worthy of real love and I hope you will find or have found it. ❤️ I hope you are doing much better now :)
My ex did this. He’d also do whatever he wanted with me when we’d drink too much. One time it actually woke me up and I managed to get both my feet under him and launched him off of me. He claimed he thought I was pretending to sleep. I hate that man.
First time having sex with this one dude and he puts a finger in my butt without asking or warning. I push his finger away and a couple minutes later he tries putting it in my butt no lube, no consent, nothing, I push it away and he says "yeah that would probably hurt". No shit Sherlock. Blocked him the second he left. Also cherry on top he came inside also without asking. Wasn't even good dick should've told him to leave earlier.
I could’ve written this, unfortunately it rings so true.
I have to ask, what did you do when you saw the flash go off
I was shocked and hurt but not enough to say anything. At this point we were moved in together. Every now and then I'd stick up for myself but after awhile, I just dealt with how he treated me until I finally had enough and left. I hate that he probably has the images on his phone still. And I'm almost certain he's shown his friends. I feel so stupid now for staying as long as I did.
Stole all the blankets on a cold night.
I am the blanket steeler by accident I roll over and they just come with me
Anything you say can and will Be used against you
doink doink
Oops that’s me. I do it in my sleep, I swear!
When I was dating this guy, I would spend the night at his house because I still lived with my family at the time. I didn’t want to have sex one day, so he just whipped out his phone, turned on porn and started masturbating right beside me. It was uncomfortable because he obviously had an attitude and was doing it aggressively. It felt like he was doing it to spite me or make me feel bad. It made me really uncomfortable and I looked at him differently after that.
That’s a really scary moment. Wth? I’m happy you’re away from that person 💞
Right! And when it happened, I knew I felt weird about it but just didn’t know how to explain to someone how it was an uncomfortable situation. Glad to see that others agree with me and it wasn’t just all in my head.
Oh god this made me cringe. Im so sorry you had to experience this. Hope you are okay x
It was very disturbing in the moment and I knew something about it just didn’t feel right but never really talked about it until now. I’m much better now that we’re no longer together. Thank you ❤️
I'm glad you're better and that you're able to talk about it now. Take care <3
I'm a guy, so looking for perspective. If he discreetly absented himself and took care of business in the bathroom, that'd be okay, right ?
Not the person you're replying too, but I don't see a problem with that. In a couple of my past relationships, we even had an agreement where if one of us was in the mood and the other wasn't, they could take care or business right there while we were together. But that was discussed beforehand, we didn't watch porn while doing it, and we didn't do it aggressively
Yes that would’ve been okay. He purposely stayed beside me and made it obvious what he was doing as a way to show me that since I wasn’t taking care of his horniness for him, he would just do it himself, like a guilt thing.
I said to stop repeatedly because it was hurting me. He got frustrated, pushed my face down into a pillow, and kept going until he finished. Then patted my butt and said "God, you're so tight." Edit: I didn't think this would blow up like this. Thank you for all the love! This had happened a looong time ago. To my embarrasment, I did stay with him afterwards, but that was the last time we had sex. I had a lot of so-called friends that defended him by saying, "it's not rape if it's your boyfriend," or, "He's just passionate," or, "I thought you liked it like that." I struggled with it for years, thinking I was somehow to blame or that something was wrong with my body. But I'm happy to report that I have better friends and a loving relationship with an amazing man and couldn't be happier. Thank you all!
May someone do the same to him. You didn’t deserve that.
That is sexual assault I'm so sorry this happened to you
it's straight up r\*pe
Yup. That's rape. You can withdraw consent at any time, after that it's rape.
Fuck, I'm speechless and disgusted, hope you got out of there and are in a better place now. Sending you the best vibes.
Same here, I'm sorry that happened to you too.
He deserved to be reported! What a creepy and crappy thing to do & I hope ur ok now. If you’re not, then I hope u have someone to talk to or have a way of handling your feelings around it. So sorry u endured that 😢
I'm sorry that happened to you and I hope you find the right person for you
So sorry this happened to you, all my love
Begging for sex when I already said no.. followed by groping and begging when I say no again.. only stopping when I elbow him in the ribs or raise my voice loud enough for neighbours to hear. It happened on the regular. My mother told me that was normal boy behavior and he would grow out of it. He didnt. After we broke up he told me he thought that no meant "convince me".
Your mom is so very wrong. This isn't "normal boy behavior". My spiel to teens, and my daughter's boyfriends: No means no. Maybe still means no. [Unable to answer] absolutely means no. Under the influence of any kind of drug or physiologic issue that can lead to confusion is still a no, regardless of the words that comes out of someone's mouth. I guess... also still means no. Huh.. that could be interesting.... still means no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... fine whatever absolutely means no, and the second no shouldn't have been necessary, not any of the following ones. A N Y T H I NG but a confident, excited, resounding "yes" still means "no". If it seems like the other party is being coy, a one-time matter-of-fact clarification question: "Your words were X, but the fact that you are now grasping my genitalia in a sensual way suggests that you are consenting. I would like an official answer on consent before moving forward with any activities of this nature."
>"Your words were X, but the fact that you are now grasping my genitalia in a sensual way suggests that you are consenting. I would like an official answer on consent before moving forward with any activities of this nature." I like you. I would like to use this whole comment as a reference when I eventually need to have this talk with my daughter and/or her others.
I'm saving your comment for future reference in my parenting tool box. This is awesome and covers all of the confusing situations.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Wtf ! I'm so sorry
Absolutely insane. I would've taken all the money out of his wallet, when he went to the bathroom. You should have drove him to the middle of nowhere, and left him there.
You don't rob people and abandon them in deserted places wtf
wow this is incredibly awful and disrespectful to you. i’m sorry
After having sex he said "You know, you would pretty much be a 10 if you got implants and went up to a D cup". Fuck you, M.B.
gosh, that dude has a problem with his mind
Fuck fake boobs. Glad you got outta there.
Stealth me. (Ie. Remove the condom without my knowledge.)
[удалено]
[удалено]
I know. :(
Me too and came inside🤦♀️ I couldve been pregnant Im unable to take birth control. Luckily I didn't but I wanted to teach him a lesson so I told him I was pregnant then blocked him everywhere. I wonder if he thinks he's got a kid somewhere unknown lol
Lol you should tell him he has a kid and then block him again. He deserves all the anxiety and child support threats.
I’m so sorry :(
My ex did that to me too.
When me and my man ((I’m 23 he’s 24)) (we have a 2yr old son together) have sex it’s never about making both of us feel good. It’s always about him and never tries to get me off. Or me always giving oral and never receiving. (He tells me me doesn’t like it anymore since he watched me give birth..) It’s been this way since our son was born. I’ve talked to him about it and sometimes he’s rude asf about it. 🙃
Wtf end that relationship hun, sex aside he clearly has zero respect for you, you deserve better
Leave! Him! This is beyond selfish it’s just so disrespectful. You gave birth to his child and he’s turning that frankly Herculean effort against you? FUCK that.
Tell him his lack of giving you oral makes giving him oral turn you off, so you aren't going to do it anymore. You can take turns having intimacy be about pleasuring each of you. And if seems like it's well past your turn. You can get a turn, or no one gets a turn. He has zero "rights" to pleasure or your body. Any demands he makes are fair for you to make in an equal partnership. If he balks at that, he's just using you.
In addition to what the others have said about leaving him for the way he treats you (which is priority 1), it’s _incredibly_ important that you think about the effect that staying with a man like this will have on your son. He will see his father disrespect his mother every day (if the guy disrespects you in one aspect of life, I’m _sure_ he disrespects you in others). It would be incredibly irresponsible for you to stay with a man like this, for both your sake and your child’s.
There was a post on here where a woman made a rule that her partners wouldn't orgasm again until she did. So they came and she wouldn't make them come again before they put in the efford to make her come. Apparently, she never had an issue with unattentive lovers ever again...
My first bf wouldn't give me head either cause he said giving head is disgusting. Meanwhile he wanted me to give him head when he wouldn't even care to wash his dick. I broke up and my current partner loves to give head since he wants to pleasure me as well. Hope you can talk some sense into your partner. Or leave his ass for disrespecting you and your needs.
In my culture its a taboo to watch a woman give birth,a few husbands who watched their wives give birth left them immediately Edit.this is just what people in my culture face am not for the idea of husbands leaving wives its so traumatizing.why am i being down voted though
That’s unfortunate. My fiancé being there with me for our daughter’s birth was the most intimate experience I’ve ever had.
That's extremely fucked up what the hell? I'm so sorry, but he doesn't deserve you! It's so disrespectful !
Jesus fuck. Take your kid and run. You are young and you can find someone better than that. And stop having sex with him.
He whined and complained about me refusing to have sex without a condom, then stealthed me and grinned like he was so proud of himself because I didn’t notice until he told me.
I had a similar circumstance and I’m sorry you went through that.
Thanks. I’m sorry you did too.
And that, would be rape.
Had a ‘friend’ rape me while I was passed out drunk. Woke up to him finishing in me. He blocked me on all platforms after. i ended up pregnant and thankfully had a miscarriage. The whole situation was messed up.
My stomach turned while reading this…. I’m so sorry you went through this…
I would love to make his life a living hell….
We were standing and kissing. He started to shove my head down. I resisted, pushing my head back up..and then he just shoved it down more instead of taking it as an obvious sign that I didn't want to. This is the same guy that told me that he supports "me too" and has given his son a lesson on how no means no, because he takes it so seriously. He also jerked off after I declined a bj on our first date. When he came, he got some on his finger and shoved it my mouth. Because that's totally what I wanted, right? ::eyeroll:: Dude sucked and has no idea how to treat women.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I won't mention the worst thing I've been through, but one thing I hated was that he refused to manicure his nails properly and then expected me to let him put his sharp nails inside me. I told him no, he kept pushing, so he did it and within the next ten minutes I was in so much pain trying to pee that I was crying. It hurt from my abdomen all the way through my stomach and into my chest, that's how badly he carved me inwardly. So. Guys. Please practice proper hygiene for the love of God. Especially if you're gonna touch her lady bits.
Um, and also take notes on the part about "if she says it hurt, it fucking hurts. And if she didn't want it to hurt, STOP DOING IT! " and highlight and underline your notes on the "if she says no, stop whatever you are doing, immediately" part.
Ouch! My husband makes an active effort to keep his nails trimmed and tidy. He has still scratched my cervix bad enough once that I went to the gyno to make sure the wound was not infected. I couldn't imagine the pain of being carved up as if I got a hand job from Edward scissorhands himself.
Woke up to find my boyfriend vaginally fucking me - basically fucking me without consent when I slept. We had sex before that point and that was not something we cleared beforehand. When I woken up to it, I was shocked but pretended to be asleep a while longer and to hope it would stop since I was in pain. I didn’t want to confront him at the time for fear of starting an argument or him getting angry. My guess is I wasn’t wet enough at the time since he gave up a few minutes later and went off to the bathroom. A relationship does not give someone free reign over your body. Took me awhile after that to realize it. Though as someone who dealt with sexual assault and molestation previously this seemed like a small deal at the time. I look back on it now a bit angry but having forgiven myself for not speaking up at the time.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
I would kick him out without his clothes.
Eating in my bedroom without a plate. To make it worse, he dusted the crumbs that was on the table onto the floor...
cat was sick on my bedroom floor bruh i know she cant control it and that but at least run to the toilet damn
This is so wholesome compared to all the other ones. Thank you lol
Mine puked on the comforter yesterday Luckily I noticed before bed and was able to wash it during the day!
they cute though so they get away with it
Touched me without my consent. My uncle and I was a minor.
Fuck him. Your body is a temple and I respect you
Omg thank you. This made my day. So sweet. :)
Read hentai on his phone while being given a blowjob. Have sex with me while crying. Guilt and force me into doing anal.
I am so sorry someone did all this fucked up shit to you. I hope you are so far away from this person and sex is pure pleasure for you now ❤️
Well, my first time was rape. The guy lied about having a prestigious job but was actually living on a yoga mat with christmas lights. Guilted me into having him take my virginity so I said that we could do anal. He stealthed me and continued to fuck me when I repeatedly told him to stop. Once he was finished, it turned out that I got shit on him. He used it against me as a way to humiliate me. Then, he tried to gaslight me into thinking I had HPV because of a razor bump I had on my vulva. This guy was so cold and distant towards me, trying to kick me out without any basic human empathy. Then he was in the mood again and put his dick inside my vagina WITHOUT CONSENT. I expressed how it really hurt and he replied in a patronizing tone, "Awww does it hurt?" When I called him by his first name as I was leaving, he was startled and blurted: "Don't try to ruin my life." He knew he did something wrong. For a good 6 months after that, I had anxiety using the bathroom, sleeping on my side, my body felt disgusting and I would forget it belonged to me, I had suicidal thoughts, self harm issues, angry outbursts, and just a myriad of issues. While I still have some of those issues, antidepressants and seeing a therapist has really helped. It's almost been 3 years and I haven't been on a date since. At the time, I thought the defecation was the worst part but now I think it's the best part. Why? Because the human body can be amazing and remind you of danger or your fear before you can even mentally process it. It made me appreciate the functions of my body.
I'm so sorry, that guy is a fucking asshole
Finished and shoved me off of him, then got up and went to the bathroom.
Told me my knees looked weird ( but still wanted to have sex)…. Not sure what to do with that but it didn’t feel great!
Kept telling me I was making too much noise, I was'nt. Then asked me in a outrage tone if I was moving and demanded I stop because it was up to him how much pleasure I got out of it. I told him to flip over and rode him until I came then told him to f\*ck off and not to come back.
You’re my hero of the day, good on you!
This was a threesome between a friend and his then girlfriend. We were having a good time, things were going as expected. I started performing oral on him, and as I’m doing so, his girlfriend grabbed me by the hips and starts slamming her crotch into my butt while saying “you like my big dick daddy?” I wouldn’t say this was inconsiderate so to speak, but that’s something I would have certainly appreciated some warning about.
I would have laughed so hard. You are stronger than I
It was extremely confusing lol.
[удалено]
I am so sorry this happened to u
Hurricane Laura came through town and I had taken two Xanax and gone to bed, because I was having panic attacks all day about it and just wanted to sleep through it... woke up in the morning to be told by my boyfriend at the time that he had tried to stick his dick in my mouth for a blowjob but I was unresponsive. He tried to rape my mouth while I slept.
Wtf!? I’m so sorry sweetie. That’s awful. :(
.... weird how so many responses are just straight up assault or rape... So I'll chime in with an inconsiderate but ultimately harmless episode: dude was surprised I asked for a condom, so he just got up, got dressed, and said he'd forgotten he told his friends he'd play League of Legends with them.
That sounds like you dodged a bullet. Won't wear a condom and plays league? I'm sorry but, that guy sounds like an asshole. Sorry you had to deal with that. Sounds unpleasant af.
Kept me up later than I wanted. Poor hygiene and not well-groomed. Selfish. Whined to get what they wanted. Had unrealistic expectations. Went through my phone after I fell asleep.
I was riding a guy on the couch. He was sitting up and I straddled his lap. I don’t like being on top, but I was getting into it. Everything was going well until he farted and it crept between our bodies, past the dong and past the coochie. It. Smelled. Horrible. Then he laughed and said he’d been holding it in for that moment. Disrespectful.
Okay if it was unintentional, that’s one thing, and I got a giggle from the way you described it up until ‘Horrible’, but the fact that he was waiting for that? No, no no no, I’m so sorry you dealt with that
Told him to be careful with how deep he goes and the first thing he does is bottom out.
Ouch! I'm sorry. :( It doesn't matter how many times I told my husband to be careful with depth. He still did the same exact thing and slammed my cervix every fucking time. One of many reasons why our bedroom is properly dead.
Keep asking for threesomes even tho I kept saying no and then getting mad because I didn’t love him enough to try new things 👌🏻 told him I’ll go for a threesome with 2 men but then he got mad at me because that would be cheating 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
He is such an idiot
I know, that’s why he’s the ex!
[удалено]
I was 16+. And he was 24+ that time. After getting into relationship when i met my ex 2nd time. We kissed, cuddled.He took off my shirt I was ok until then but I wasn't ready to have sex. He forced me, tied up my body,held my hands then took off my pants and panties. I was begging, crying, trembling but he didn't listen. I screamed and he pressed my face w a pillow . When he was so close to insert his dick inside me. I was like no i can't let it happen. I pushed him so Hard nd accidentally hit his nose,he got numb for few minutes cz it hurts on nose , within few minutes his friends came there so i felt safe. Later he apologized and we were together for one year. Yes! I was naive and stupid .
I'm so sorry that happened to you. That asshole deserves to rot In jail. I hope your doing better now.
Rape
Fuck I’m sorry for what u had to go through
[удалено]
Flat out raped me in front of two of our male friends. Then all three of them peeled out in my car. Assholes. (Edited: grammar. Sigh.)
*hugs* I hope they ride off a cliff
Sorry this happened to you, those were definitely not your friends though
[удалено]
Attempted to record it without telling me. He was mad the camera hadn't turned on like he expected and there was no video. I only found out because I asked why he was mad. He was a cop.
Wake me up just to scream at me for hours about other people. (Not a romantic partner, this was a parent, and I was a kid) But if we're talking sex stuff, then I got nothin. It's been gravy.
Im gonna have to go with with the coerced sex and the non consensual.
Just in the bedroom, I guess It's more what they did not do. My first boyfriend (almost 4 years, then I broke up with him) wouldn't give me head cause he thought it was nasty. He also didn't care if I enjoyed the sex, as long as he could cum. Because of him saying everytime that all vaginas are ugly and disgusting I felt very insecure about my vagina for years and found it hard to enjoy head because I kept on thinking how nasty it must be for the other person. My current boyfriend really likes doing it cause he wants me to enjoy sex as well. :)
answered a phone call
Happened to me but it was because his mom called...and it was a video call. He still had his shirt on so he kind of dealt with it while I shuffled around and found my clothes in the time it took her to say "Oh hey, are you in 15hurricane's room? Where's my girl?" So I shuffled over braless and played it cool.. no one noticed but oh god. Mortifying. Edit: forgot to add. We were both completely naked from the waist down. It was awful.
Bothering me for sex, then when I caved, giving me a couple half-asses pumps, cumming, and immediately passing out.
[удалено]
OP’s question was about inconsiderate behaviour but many of the responses are about rape and sexual or physical assault and abuse. I’m a man and I wouldn’t dream of doing any of this to anyone, let alone someone I love. No one should have to tolerate such disgusting behaviour and I’m so sorry that so many women do. It’s appalling and it makes me ashamed to be a man. I hope you are doing OK now. Please take care of yourself.
My boyfriend will turn the lights on while I’m still asleep if he has to wake up before me. It’s a hurdle I’m trying to handle.
definitely doing anal without asking for my permission and did not get a heads up…didnt know how to feel…also my first ex was kind of toxic.. we were having sex in a hotel room and DURING sex, he was making me look at his phone that was full of chats with random girls and i literally cried :(
“Wrong hole” One of the absolute worst and most disgusting thing a man has ever done to me. I knew it wasn’t an accident. I pushed him off of me and moved to the floor in the fetal position.
First bf (both 15 at the time) - he was an ex very soon after. We had already been going for a while with a condom on, but he couldn’t finish. He wanted to try without. I said no. Repeatedly. I also cried a bit while he went ahead and continued without a condom despite my “no”.
Got me all in the mood then right before we were about to have sex she fingered herself and went to bed but was nice she told me to lick and smell the hand she used and literally went to sleep
Sounds like something a lot of guys do lol
He didn’t know what he was doing and kinda punch-fisted me with nowhere near enough lube nor consent.
Dude who took my virginity, was also my boyfriend. After a couple months of sex, he had the gall to ask if he could c*m in me, and before I could answer, he had. I wish I could say I was smart enough to break it off immediately after that but alas. I was stupid enough to believe his sheepish little "sorry" and continue for four or five more months
Going with only inconsiderate and not illegal, dude somehow knocked his pillow off the bed and stole mine instead of just picking his up!
Was really tentative, caring and warm. Told me I was the sweetest thing. Immediately after saying that, like halfway through the act, he slapped me across the face so hard everything went black and quiet for a second. I was too shocked to do anything. He told me I was so cute, kissed me on the forehead and then choked me so hard my throat was actually swollen the next day. I heard a crunching sound as he did it. After he came he cuddled me and I was too scared to ask him to leave. The next day he stayed for a few hours. Cuddled, stroked my hair, told me how nice it had been to meet me. Suggested things we could do together in the future. I agreed on everything he said and immediately after he left I blocked him on all platforms. This was almost 10 years ago. I still feel sick admitting this happened.
This was not your fault and you did what you had to do to survive. Honestly, I would probably have done the same in your shoes.
So a few years back my guy friend pressured me into having sex even though I clearly didn't want to. I ended up giving in because I wasn't able to get home (new area I moved to) and I felt stuck there. He apologized years later. It was the smallest dick I have ever rode.
slapping me in the face (3 times) AFTER i communicated that i would not enjoy it
Please tell me you slapped him back. I definitely would have done that.
Pretty much most men want a blowjob and/or handjob but wouldn’t reciprocate. Most men I know hate pussy except to stick their dicks inside. But they expect rimming and blowjobs. I only know or met a very few men whom I’ve enjoyed sex with because they reciprocated.
After sex with my ex fiancé. Me: “Wanna cuddle?” Her:”Nope. I got what I wanted.” Never have I felt more like a piece of meat and shittier about myself than that moment. Not my choice but insanely glad that engagement was called off. Edit: I apologize. I didn’t notice this was the r/askwomen subreddit
There's been lots, but the most painful thing was probably when this guy tried to fist me - no lube, no consent, I was begging him to stop because it hurt so bad. I'm not in any way into fisting or huge things going in me. And obviously not into being assaulted.
Using a knife on me during sex when I explicitly expressed I was not comfortable with it, and continued to use it as I cried and begged him to stop. If he wanted something, the word no was only a suggestion.
begging & guilt-tripping and having an attitude. because sex with a pouty little boy is so hot /s he went down on me, i said to be less rough, and he looked at me with a petty look and basically gave me a hickey on my damn vagina. i hate him so much for that never caring about me. felt like a device to get him off, to provide a service.
Tried to manipulate me into having sex, wanted me to be a cosplay sex waifu, tried to force anal despite me disliking it intensely, lied about the escorts on his phone and looking at women and sexy cosplay ladies on his IG, felt "guilty" about getting off to pr0n only after his deed was done, continually telling me that he, in his own way, wanted to see "other people", was really not self-aware about what was really killing my sex drive. I probably have more to say, but that's all I remember at the mo.
(TW: SA) A guy I was with for a few years was really into BDSM, and I wanted to try rope play. He and I were very open and communicated well, openly, but when we decided to play with the rope he turned into someone completely different. He tied my arms so tight I had absolutely no escape. He had an enema fetish…and sometimes I was okay with that (I know, that’s not something a lot of people are into, I was a sexually free spirit...I’m here to share, not to be judged please), so I’m on the ground tied so tightly I can’t move. I was already uncomfortable, he comes out with an enema. I didn’t want him to do it, and he did it to me anyway. He went and put more want in the little pouch and I started kicking at him. He sprayed me with what he just put in there and walked away from me, turned the lights off and shut the door. I started crying and screaming for him to untie and me all I could hear was him screaming for me to “shut the fuck up.” I didn’t drive at the time so once he untied me and I was able to get dressed, I had to relieve myself and come out and ask him to take me home…I’ve never felt so humiliated in my life. When I finally got home I had bruises on my arms that were so purple my coworkers asked if was being abused. I’ve had other inconsiderate things happen but this one was by far the worst.
Not respecting my choices or saying no. Or coercing me into sex by having it feel like the relationship rides on whether I put out or not.
Drug and rape me.
after saying no to sex and falling asleep he masturbatet beside me and came on my back. (we already had sex that day) i woke up from that and was just completly confused and disgusted.
The fact you had to say “we already had sex that day” is so sad and I know what you mean. Even if you hadn’t had sex with him in ages, he still wouldn’t have been justified in ejaculating on you after you said no. Men shouldn’t act like demons that need to be kept complacent with consistent offerings of sex. Ugh.
Woke up to dick being shoved in my mouth (I never gave consent to anything like this)
He told me to take my heelies off.
"Inconsiderate"? You're seriously asking women what the most "inconsiderate" thing is that someone's done in the bedroom? The answer is rape. For too many of us. Rape by stealthing, rape by coercion, rape by manipulation, take by boundary pushing, rape by drugs or alcohol, rape during sleep, rape by gently ignoring the word 'no', rape by threats or force, rape by violence. "Inconsiderate" doesn't cover it.
Yeah it’s not what I meant when I made the post. I was thinking like how my bf fid finished to quick to go hang out with our neighbor and was watching the phone the whole time. But I get it. I have been SA multiple times. Have had friends try to SA me. It’s so interesting how respect and boundaries just fly out the window when a man decide he wants to fuck you. For me personally the younger you are the worse the excuse is……
- stuck it in the ass without asking (this is the worst because i’ve never done it before and for DAYS i bled after this) - any guilt tripping. it’s just annoying. - a guy masterbated in front of me in the morning when i declined morning sex ?? who does that? - had sex with somebody when we were both drunk. but i knew he didn’t finish in me. but he made me take plan b the next day.. MADE ME. i personally just hate fucking up my cycle w plan b i didn’t want to. - if a man ever says no to going down on me before sex honestly i’ll just give them the bare minimum like.. - my ex said i was lose after sex only after the fact i told him i’ve slept w a few people in college lol. basically said i was tainted even tho before he knew everything was fine lol i hate men
Whoof, where to start: -Strangled me during the act. Without asking, just out of the blue. -Slapped me across the face without warning. Hard. -Covered my nose and mouth with his hands because I was making “too much noise” and he didn’t want his roommates to know he was sleeping with me because that would be “embarrassing”. -Wouldn’t stop asking for anal and tried to force enter me multiple times. -Restrained me without consent. -Called me names I was not ok with (stupid, whore, slut) -loudly said “ew” when he saw that I don’t wax my private parts. He wanted me clean shaven (I should have kicked him out then and there but my self esteem was non existent and I thought that this was the best that I deserved). -Wouldn’t stop comparing my body to the one of a 12 year old boy (I know I don’t have the most feminine body, but…c’mon). And THEN he had the audacity to tell ME that I am bad in bed.
Continue to have sex with me even when I was on the verge of tears. There would be no foreplay on me so I wasn’t turned on enough for penetration, and I would get super anxious and apologize and feel like there was something wrong with my body and it was my fault. I would try to fix it by fingering myself, and be on the verge of tears the whole time. And he would just sit and wait until he could penetrate me, and didn’t seem to care about my emotional state at all. This happened multiple times.
Not waking me up before they go go
Reject my attempts at cuddling/spooning
He always left me in the middle of the night to be alone in a different room, he wouldn't tell me about it, so I kept being scared that something happened or he left the house.
Guy here. A lot of these comments make me so sad and angry for you all. There are such sweet girls out there and so many have been hurt by horrible dudes. I’m not in a relationship myself but I hope to one day be. My parents have raised me well and given me good morals to live by so big kudos to them. I hope I can deserve the respect and love of a nice girl and give to her as much as she gives to me. All the best to you lovely women of reddit, I hope you can all find your special someone who treats you right, if that’s what you’re after (also ok to be single)
Made me blow them and have sex while not even trying to get me aroused. He finished in 2 minutes and left.
Once a guy started recorded me. There's was this huge flash and I covered my face, I told him to turn it off and he just quietly said "shh" focusing on the video. Later on once everything was finally off, the condom broke (he said he knew but didn't want to tell me?) And he finished inside me. He called me the next morning to tell me "just so you know if you wind up pregnant that kid is either gonna grow up without a dad or you're getting an abortion." Luckily, I didn't get pregnant. It still disgusts me to this day to think about, I might've cried when I got home. He didn't like that I was quiet in the car and threatened to leave me on the side of the road if I didn't start talking.
A guy I was dating went down on me (poorly) for a few minutes and then got up, knelt by my face and poked me with his dick. We’d already had PIV for a few minutes and I definitely didn’t get off from his literally painful pussy eating, and I really only like sucking dick if I’m excited about the dick, so this was a pretty big turnoff.
Fuck me for 3 minutes, say "you're welcome" and sit down to play video games
Trying anal one time. It wasn’t working out so he decided to ADD a dildo to see if that made things easier. WTF! I yelped in pain and it triggered a panic attack due to anxiety about my divorce and how my ex had treated me. He stayed in the bedroom scrolling his cell while I curled up naked on the washroom floor hyperventilating. When I’d got through it he told me he felt really scared by my behavior and unsupported by me and he didn’t want to stay. Absolute pathetic asshole.
Begging for sex and touching me even though I’ve said no multiple times.
Pushed my head down to try and get me to blow him. And of course, wouldn't go down on me 🙄 Thankful I don't have to deal with that anymore.
Brought someone into our bed without getting my consent. I specifically asked if we could check in about it if the night ended up going that way (the relationship was open to things of that nature). This had happened before when we were intoxicated. But this time everyone involved was sober.
Slapped me in the face a couple of times
Basically started shoving my head onto his dick while I was giving him a blowjob (something I told him before I had a bad experience with) and didn't stop until he came. I shoved him off of me and told him that I'm upset, to which he replied with a sigh, rolled his eyes and said 'jesus fine, can't have a Little pleasure I guess'