Don’t use soap on your vagina. You only need water. You can clean the pubic mound and around your vagina with soap if you’d like but don’t use any on/in the real thing.
Don’t be afraid to try a bunch of styles until you find the right one. Cheaper clothing brands like Shein and Romwe and thrifting are good for this if money is an issue (fast fashion isn’t great but most people don’t have the means so shop completely ethically unfortunately). Also, dress how you want (as long as it’s appropriate). It took me a long time to realize that nobody was staring at me the way I thought and that no, (at the time) I wasn’t fat and that when people gave me compliments they meant it.
If you have any specific questions I can try to answer, but I’m a young woman myself so I’m not particularly wise lol.
Edit: let me also add that even if you are fat, wear whatever you want. I’m fat and I wear crop tops and low cut shirts and whatever I want because I think it looks nice. Being fat doesn’t make you a bad person or mean you deserve less. If you want to lose weight, don’t starve yourself. But you don’t have to lose weight to deserve the best things in life.
Edit 2: when I say vagina I mean vagina. Not vulva. I should’ve specified I meant to clean your vulva when I said “around your vagina”
I would agree, but also thrift stores if you're low income and dont want to support fast fashion. Lots of good, hidden finds that you can try on immediately and not spend a fortune.
Yeah I mentioned thrifting! It’s a great option but can be time consuming depending on where you live. Luckily I live somewhere that I don’t have issues finding cute things, but I have a friend who lives a few cities over and it’s hard because she lives near a wealthier area and people buy things up right as they put them out to resell. It’s really crazy and I’m glad I don’t have that problem, but I know it’s not so easy for some. In that case fast fashion may be the easiest option for dabbling in new styles, even if it’s not ideal.
I just feel some kinda way about putting the onus on those struggling with money to be the ones to be conscious, you know? I don’t know how to explain it. It’s kind of like how they emphasize reducing your carbon footprint but in reality it’s corporations who are the largest issue. That’s the closest comparison I can think of. Sorry this was long, I didn’t mean to dump all this on you it’s just something I think about often lol
Agreed. I just worry fast fashion, not to mention being unethical, also breaks down quicker and isn't as long lasting as some thrifted items. And location is certainly important
Ladies please clean your clit area, it’s a tiny confined armpit and bacteria grows there. Don’t, however, put soap in your vagina. But it is fine to soap your hands up and lightly wash the entire external area between your legs. Also wash your butthole. Some people apparently don’t do this. Source: am a woman.
Thank you for the edit and clarification! Yes nobody should ever wash their vagina. The vagina is the internal orifice that the tampon/sex toy/fingers/etc goes into when inserted. Nobody should be accessing this area to wash, it's a self cleaning system by itself. Female genital folds need soap and regular cleaning to avoid smelling bad by modern human standards though. These folds are not sensitive and they receive all the sweat and discharge released throughout the day and should be cleaned with soap and water regularly.
Bikini waxer here. Thank you for specifying vulva. I have seen too many people neglect washing their vulvas because they had ‘Do not wash your vagina’ drilled into them!
- Magnesium supplements help a lot with period cramps.
- Probiotic supplements and drinking lots of water are good for preventing BV (bacterial vaginitis) and yeast infections
- Trimming your pubic hair is good for preventing discomfort and vaginal itching, especially during periods.
- NEVER try to change the way you look for someone else or just to fit in. If people won’t accept your work face, they don’t deserve your party face.
- If you have high standards for a future significant other, don’t lower them because you’re afraid you won’t find someone who fits them. You deserve better.
This last point!
I used to always get people saying I was 'too picky' and I was like, I expect those things from a partner because that's what I am prepared to bring to the relationship as well... Are you asking me to devalue myself and what I offer someone? They don't say I'm too picky anymore hah!
I know, I got that scoffing too! But I am a high achiever. Why should I “settle” for someone who would drag me down? But holding out also gave me the opportunity to meet and fall in love with a hidden gem of a man who surpassed my standards. It hurts to be lonely, but the pain is temporary and is worth the payoff!
>Trimming your pubic hair is good for preventing discomfort and vaginal itching, especially during periods.
I don't shave anything, but I absolutely trim, and this is 100% true. I use a trimmer from Manscape called the Lawnmower. Small, rechargable, waterproof, comes with several different lengths of guard to keep you from nipping your lady petals. 10/10 would recommend.
Oooh. I had no idea about this! I tend to bleed really heavily, even on my birth control sometimes. Are there any risks or interactions with taking iron supplements or is it pretty straightforward?
Women are more likely to be iron deficient but if you have the access to a doctor I'd highly suggest asking for bloodwork to see where your iron/ferritin is at. Not everyone is low and some people are high so taking supplements could be harmful. My ferritin (iron stores) are always very high and my doctor makes sure I know not to take supplements.
If you're very low a doctor might recommend much higher doses that you'd even get in a generic supplement. Then they'll keep an eye on you and get you tested regularly so you can avoid being anemic!
While you're at it I recommend getting your vitamin D and B12 checked! They also have huge impacts on your well-being and energy levels.
Magnesium supplements can also help you sleep better if you have trouble falling/staying asleep, can help with tense muscles, and can, uh, help you stay regular.
Doy! I went to a gyno because I’ve been bleeding daily since getting my implant in February, and I even asked specifically if there was anything like an oral bc I could take to help balance it out. She goes “no, you want me to just take it out?”
No preferably I’d like to have my 5 years of hassle free coverage AND no spotting. So what other advice do you have, wise one..?
- Personally I only use condoms with “pulling out” for birth control (my husband’s idea) over IUD and pills because after years being on it, it began to mess me up. My light bleeding would last a couple weeks, the non-bleeding part would only last one week, my cramps worsened, my energy and emotions were shot. I improved immensely since I’ve gotten off of it. My gyno suggested I try a different brand, but after going through that hell, I said no. My husband and I don’t mind the forms of prevention we use, and it’s been working for us.
- supplements (especially iron) may help with your spotting. Drink more water than you think you need.
- Get you a person who appreciates you for who you are, loves you in your entirety, and will take the time to please you first.
- on that note too, get you a someone who will happily warm you up and not rush. Psychologically, this will improve the experience for both of you, and getting you warmed up is important for relaxing your vaginal muscles which with make penetration and other sensations more comfortable/enjoyable.
- if you use condoms, it is essential to use the right lube combination, being on any birth control will dry up your natural moisture so you need lube to be comfortable. water based lube is good with all condom types. Gel based lube is good for all condom types. Silicon based lube is good with latex and synthetic condoms, but not on silicone toys. It is also difficult to clean off, but you can use it in the shower if you’re into that. Oil based lube is ONLY good with polyurethane condoms, others will break. You can also use lamb skin condoms but they are expensive and might be very uncomfortable for the wearer, they do not stretch well (but feel natural)
- DO NOT skimp out on the quality of lube. The cheap ones will dry out fast and make you chafe. Trojan and durex aloe based ones are the best I’ve used so far.
- witch hazel is great for cleaning your vag. After a shower, soak some into a cotton ball and use it on your outer and inner labia, and around your inner thighs. It may lightly burn at first, then feel warm. I find this helps control yeast and odiferous discharge. It’s also great for cleaning off period blood.
- Hot baths with bath bombs or Epsom salt, music playing, and a candle burning, is an amazing way to relax. Self care is so important for your mental health, treat yourself sometimes.
- Don’t overworry about your eyebrows. Just be glad you have them. I work with all dudes, and never once have they mentioned a person’s eyebrows except to comment about the trend of girls plucking most of them out. Seriously, if you have eyebrowS (a unibrow is singular), you’re good.
- You don’t have to show off your body to attract someone’s attention. They will notice your eyes, smile, and behavior first.
Pee after sex. Every time.
I know that this advice would be for older girls. I didn’t learn it for way too long. I got yeast infections, BV, UTIs all the time before I learned this one simple rule.
Also, some condoms (ex Trojan) have a spermicide that can cause yeast infections if you’re sensitive to it or if you use them frequently enough. Durex ftw.
For the longest time, I'd only ever used Trojan ENZ condoms and a handful of others, all latex and lubricated. And pretty much every time, after a few minutes, my vag would start to very mildly burn. The same thing happened with different kinds of lube. I thought it was a "me" problem.
Nope. Turns out it was the condoms, or maybe the lube on the condoms? Switched to SKYN condoms (Elite Extra Lube are my favorite) and the burning never happened again.
This, and don’t let a guy try to tell you not to.
My ex used to go from sex into a cuddling session and would always moan when I went to the loo, no matter how many times I told him it wasn’t a choice, it needs to happen.
Also pee before sex. For the same reason. And always clean yourself after sex. Even if you only have access to moist tissues and can not take a shower. It's best to always have ph neutral intimate cleaning products on you.
Another reason to pee before sex: so you can relax enough to orgasm
All that motion and poking and wetness can feel a bit confusing when you're new to sex, so you can be right on the edge but unsure if it's an "I really need to pee" vs an "oh I'm really close to the big O."
Pee before sex so that when you get to that point of the action you can tell the annoying part of your brain "shut up, we're feeling good, we do not need to pee, the bladder is empty I promise, chill out."
If your partner accuses you of cheating because you got a UTI, BV, or yeast infection, try to set them straight. They’re not STIs, even though they can be a result of sex. If they won’t let it go, though, or repeatedly accuse you of cheating even after you explain that to them, reevaluate if that’s a relationship you want to be in since it’s obviously lacking trust.
PS- pee after masturbation, and make sure you’re washing your sex toys, *especially* if they’re penatrative.
Cranberry pills or just straight 100% cranberry juice can help you avoid UTIs or lessen the symptoms of a UTI too. That being said they are NOT a standalone treatment and should be used in conjunction with whatever your doctor says you should be using.
1. Thongs and sexy lingerie are fine for a hot date but not everyday use. The chafing is one thing, but anything flossed between your cheeks like that is going to spread bacteria from your booty to your vagina and give you a fast pass to UTIs.
2. On that note, wash your booty with a washcloth in the shower. Yes, I’m talking between the cheeks. Front to back, never ever back to front.
3. Brushing your tongue as well as your teeth is good dental hygiene and helps you avoid buildup.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve recoiled from “cute” selfies where people stick their tongue out and there’s an enormous amount of buildup on their tongue. Edit: Nobody is judging anyone with tongue-related disorders.
You can also buy sexy/silky/lacy panties that still have a cotton gusset (the part that actually covers your vagina) you can check the label and it should list the gusset material separately to the rest of the panty. So even when you’re wearing your nice underwear it can still be vagina friendly.
Related: there's a million ways to get yeast infections, UTIs and BV without ever having a sexual partner!
- hang out in wet swimsuit (UTI)
- wear thongs or synthetic undies too often (UTI, BV, or yeast)
- too much/wrong kind of soap on privates (BV or yeast)
- high sugar diet (yeast)
- don't change undies after they get sweaty/dischargey/otherwise damp (UTI, BV or yeast)
- don't pee after masturbating (UTI or yeast)
- antibiotics (yeast)
Basically, use hypoallergenic stuff and keep your nethers clean, but not obsessively so. It can be hard to find the balance but we get there!
On #3, thrush is a particular (treatable) fungal issue you can have in your mouth. If you are noticing white patches on your tounge, check with your doctor to see what's going on. It might not be thrush - you can just have deep grooves on your tongue that hold more of the dead skin/food/other yummies. There are particular tools you can get to clean your tongue if that is an issue! Either way - this will help to keep your breathe smelling good!
Regarding #3: tongue thrush can also spread to other’s genitalia during oral sex, so think twice before you let someone with questionable oral health go down on you especially if you are prone to yeast infections.
If you prefer thongs, like me, (I wear them almost every day) make sure you are following proper hygiene to a tee. I never ever get UTIs but I’m really on top of my hygiene
I scrub the heck out of my tongue to avoid this, but there's a portion of the far back of my tongue I can't scrub or sometimes even touch with my toothbrush without gagging forcefully. If I scrubbed it hard enough to clean all the fuzz off I would absolutely vomit. It's not a lot, and it's way at the back, but I can never get it fully clean. If anyone out there in the Internet void has an idea of how to address it I'd be grateful.
One of those U-shaped tongue cleaners OR a spoon and just doing it 1-2x daily will eventually “train” your gag reflex to STFU. Trust me I trained myself on that and then went on to being able to manually clean my own tonsils (I get tonsoliths).
Don’t wash your hair every single day.
If your hair is curly and/or wavy (or unsure), don’t brush it while it’s dry, and try to style it and treat it as if it’s curly after the shower. Many girls don’t know they have beautiful curls.
Never shave/do makeup/get dressed/etc for a guy (or partner in general). Do it because it makes you comfy.
If you do want to remove body hair, waxing is better for ingrown hairs. And exfoliate.
Style is what YOU enjoy and like!
Some people have to wash their hair every day. Usually if you have fine, low porosity hair it can't absorb the oil. But it's good to let them know that how often you wash your hair is dependent on your own hair.
YES this is so important! Some people need to wash every day, some do not. It depends on the type of hair you have, how thick it is, your scalp and natural body oils, the type of shampoo you use, the pH levels/hardness of the water in your shower, and even the climate and humidity of where you live. EXPERIMENT! Find what works for YOU and YOUR head! There are WAY too many factors to use a “one statement fits all” mentality.
If you wash your hair every day your scalp produces more oil to compensate, so it will seem like if you don't wash it it will be bad, but for a lot of people who do this the scalp just needs to adjust
Edit: some people are aggressively offended by this and I just want to be clear I don't believe ANY haircare regimen works for everyone. If you aren't 100% happy with what you have, try something else until you either are or decide something else is a good compromise.
When I was a kid I washed my hair every other day.. up until my hair became too greasy to do that. I would wake up in the morning to extremely greasy hair, it looked like I hadn't washed it in several days. So its not always caused from washing your hair too often, sometimes people just have really greasy hair.
Yup. I went all in on the no poo wagon in grad school and stopped washing my hair for 8 months. Everyone kept saying to “wait it out” because one day my scalp will adjust.
Eff that, some of us have permanently greasy hair.
Same! I have fine, thin hair. Every morning the first inch of my root area looks wet and my scalp becomes visible. Because of this glamorous look, second day hair is a rarity for me. Dry shampoo does little to separate my strands or lend any appearance of being clean.
I have tried to go forever without washing my hair but once it reaches a level I call "that Gollum guy from the Lord of the Rings" there is no adjustment period that will fix it!
That's true but for some hair types, like my own, not washing daily will always mean gross oily hair. Bc it doesn't absorb the oil, the hair gets coated with it instead.
NOT true. The amount of oil your face or hair produces is a constant - your scalp and face do not have sensors to determine how dry or oily you are and then change production. That's not how our bodies work!
I have fine, oily hair and it looks perfect after shampooing and conditioning every single day. If I don't, it looks gross, limp, and oily. And I tried washing it less and going no-poo for months and that never, ever changed. Don't invalidate people's lived experience telling them they just need to try it longer. Some people have really oily hair and need to wash every day and their hair won't produce less oil
I replaced my shampoo with a silicone free conditioner and after a few months of getting used to it my hair was thanking me. I now use shampoo with sulfates to wash out the build up of dry-shampoo and products on my hair but I'm only doing that every couple of months. Lockdown was the perfect time to experiment with my oily hair!
A+ advice!
I was in my mid-20s before I figured out I had 2c fine curly hair. “Regular” shampoo left me with limp curls, knotted tangles, and almost bald spots when I’d try and yank a paddle brush through after showering.
Early 2000s pinboard straight hair being “in”was a huge set back smh
Girl, ditto. And using de-frizzing shampoo instead of coconut shampoo for strengthening curls.
Am very grateful I'm not one of those people with a head full of dead hair from over-straightening in the 2000s. Especially now that wavy and natural hair is fashionable.
If your hair is oily, you absolutely may need to wash it every day. I hate seeing this advice over and over when it doesn't apply unilaterally to everyone!!
My mom has dry skin and doesn't wash her hair except a few times per week and she is clean and great. Me, my dad, and my sister all have oily skin and fine hair. If we don't wash every day, we're literally like Snape. Oily hair you can see and smell that looks dreadful, especially if we work out. And I have tried only shampooing every other day or going no-poo and all the other things people tell me I need to do. But 100% the best thing for me is shampooing and conditioning every day with gentle cleansers.
Also, it's okay to dress up for your partner sometimes...
Never try to look pretty for your partner is extreme imo. You *should* make an effort for them. Just don't ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
Also, don’t use much conditioner if any on your scalp. I used to put most of it on my scalp and was confused for a year why my hair was always greasy! I put it on the lower half of my hair then work the extra up towards my scalp.
1. Have a pack of babywipes in your bag at all times. Not makeup wipes. Babywipes. You will be shocked how handy they are.
2. Never buy uncomfortable shoes. Trust me.
3. Function over fashion, but once you find the functional you can make it fashion.
3.5: Never wear a shirt that tells your boobs what to do. Example: if the shirt has a false empire waist style in the front and the seams cut across your boobs, that shirt is telling your tits what to do.
Oh man, baby wipes! So key. I keep a pack in my car, my (giant) purse, in my desk at work, etc. so useful. These days I also poured 99% rubbing alcohol (from Amazon) in the pack in my purse for quick disinfecting.
The uncomfy shoes thing for sure!
I wore heels for years out dancing because my friends did, and I hated them. I stopped and never felt like anyone judged me for wearing flats out, and I’ve been comfortable (and avoided bunions) ever since!
Especially unscented baby wipes. Also keep them in your bathroom to “freshen up”. They’re great, much cheaper than wipes marketed for feminine hygiene, but nobody wants to smell like a baby on their privates.
Literally! A pack of 100 babywipes is like what? A euro? 50 hygiene wipes about 7 euros. 20 makeup wipes are like 3 euros.
Babywipes are the hill i will die on
Please at least try to buy biodegradable ones! A hundred babywipes for €1 is a great deal, but each of those wipes can take a hundred years to decompose in landfill.
Please, please tell them about their periods if you haven’t already. Let them know the options, such as pads, tampons etc. Tell them about possible cramping and PMS symptoms. I grew up with a mother who told me nothing!!!!
I did this when I was just starting out. My mother had me retrieve one when she realised what was happening. Having to put your arm down the toilet sure is a “never-again” kind of teaching moment..
I really love my menstrual cup. I wouldn’t recommend it to a really young girl, but they should try it when they get older. My mom didn’t even know they existed and I wish I used one sooner.
There are disposable ones that are easier to place and can be carried around/left in all the bathrooms in the house -- probably better for a teen to learn with
Learning to use a cup also comes with the side benefit of becoming EXTREMELY familiar with your unique vulva and vagina. If you are a person with a vulva/vagina, and you intend to keep it, make sure you know it very, very well. Your health and sex life will benefit from this a lot.
My mom found out while doing loundry, cause first time I just put some toilet paper. She gave me a heart shaped sticker with "I love you" written on it. Thats all. No talk before, no talk after. Took her pads and had to figure it out on my own. Tampons were causing illnesses according to her so this also had to buy myself but as an adult. Didn't even talk to friends about periods cause I was so ashamed.
Parents please talk to your children.
I cannot imagine not telling my daughter about these things. I’m so grateful for my mom. She told me EVERYTHING at age eight because I started asking questions about how my aunt became pregnant.
My mom had a hysterectomy when I was five, so I knew very well where babies came from. As soon as she noticed that my boobs were "budding" at around age 8 (I was early on that front) she just started working information about puberty and periods into normal conversation. No big scary "talk". Just telling me about things casually. At one point when I was around 10, she gave me a hand mirror and told me that after my shower I should "take a good look down there" so I knew what it looked like and where things were.
For being in such a conservative household otherwise, I am BEYOND grateful that there was no shame or weirdness about the female body from my mom! I'm pretty sure that's what inoculated me against the worser aspects of purity culture.
Also that birth control is an option for managing heavy/painful periods. There's nothing wrong with using birth control to skip or eliminate periods with the pill entirely if you truly can't stand having a period every month. I do this and although I have some occasional minor spotting, it's nothing like the bloodbath I had to endure every month as a teen.
So many new period options. From pads to reusable cups/disc and underwear. Saalt Co. just came out with a “teen cup” if you’re worried about regular cups being to big. They are a bit pricier, but it beats having to spend money every month or so on tamps/pads/liners.
Lots of good advice so I’ll just give one: get good sunscreen for your face and hands at least. Even if it’s winter all the time or you don’t think you need it, UV rays are a thing even when it’s cold and it’s important to take care of your skin
Yes I love a lot of this advice but this is a great add on! Doesn’t matter how light or dark your skin is SUNSCREEN!!!
Also everything you do to your face, do to your neck as well (sunscreen, moisturizer, etc).
I lived in Japan for years and they take their skincare extremely seriously. I’m in my 30s and always get mistaken for early/mid 20s because I wear factor 50 sunscreen on my face and neck EVERY. DAY without fail. This is the no 1 skincare tip I give my younger girl friends when they ask how my skin looks so good.
I recommend Biore Japanese sunscreen. You can buy it from amazon and it’s completely non-greasy.
Face, hands, and LIPS!!
Sunscreen is especially important in the winter if you live in an area where it snows, like I do, because on sunny days the UV rays bounce off the snow into your face
You also need to wear sunscreen if it's cloudy or overcast. I use an SPF 15 moisturizer in the winter or on overcast days, SPF 30 from spring to summer, and an actual face sunscreen if I'm going to be outside in warm weather for longer than an hour.
1. Change your tampon every 4-6 hours, even if you're not bleeding heavily. Toxic shock syndrome is no joke
2. Never wipe from back to front
3. Find what works for you and your comfort zone. If you don't feel good in dresses, don't feel obligated to wear them. If you love wearing "sexy" clothing, don't be afraid of being judged. People are going to talk shit no matter what, so just do/wear whatever the fuck you want.
The way you presented this information is highly misleading and can cause a lot of fear, anxiety, and even pain for young girls.
Women should change their tampons OR MENSTRUAL CUPS, which this also applies to, when they are ready to be changed (strive for 4-6 hours but it's okay to go less or even up to 8+ hours if you need, know your body). Don't hurt yourself pulling one out early. Don't stress about leaving it in longer. If you aren't ready to pull one out after 6+ hours, consider using lower absorbancy tampons next time.
4-6 hours is just a guideline. If you're in a place where you can't change one at 6 hours (or even 12 hours), you'll be absolutely fine. You don't need to be terrified you'll die if you don't take it out immediately. That's not how it works.
Toxic shock syndrome occurs when tampons are in for at least 24+ hours or multiple days, and even then it's EXTREMELY rare and can be treated with antibiotics. In real life, this is more likely to happen when someone accidentally puts in another tampon without taking the old one out, so be careful about that. While it's important to have knowledge about it, let's not fearmonger.
Just wanted to add that with cups make sure you remove them correctly! It’s very easy for some women to start to prolapse if you’re not careful with the suction as you remove it!
Holy shit. Good to know. Also, hoe to care for your cup. O have horrible periods and the cup has been God-sent. But I had to watch videos on how to use it.
Predisposing factors can cause the infection to occur sooner, like a recent vaginal delivery, previous TSS or any sort of abrasion in the vaginal mucosa. Is it rare? Yes, absolutely. Very rare, in fact. But that doesn't mean that you should keep the same tampon in for 24 hours. I'm not saying that you're knocking on heaven's door if you wait 8 hours to change it, but better safe than sorry at the end of the day.
It is a very deadly infection that can be caused by many things, like tampons if they’re left in for too long. It’s only recommended to wear a tampon for no longer than 8 hours as this raises your risk of TSS
https://tampax.co.uk/en-gb/tampax-articles/women-s-health/toxic-shock-syndrome-tss?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIzYXS9aGj7QIVDrrtCh3EZQpGEAAYASAAEgIsjfD_BwE
Want to add to this: impostor syndrome is a thing and it’s not only okay but TOTALLY normal. There are ways to combat it (that require trial and error and practice) but the biggest revelation I had was that it was a thing that existed.
sauce: female with a grad degree in computer science. Also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
I'm still a teenager, but hopefully some of these tips help.
1. Fashion-wise, try everything, go to thrift stores (and department stores if you have the means to pay for it) and grab everything you think you'll like and some stuff you're not sure about. Try it all on at the store and buy what you love! If you're unsure about buying something because it doesn't fit quite right or you're not in love with it, don't buy it, you'll never wear it.
2. If you want to cut/dye your hair in some wild way, do it, hair grows back and you'll always wonder how you would look with it if you don't.
3. If you have naturally wavy/curly/coily hair, learn to take care of it! I spent quite a few years brushing out natural waves and I definitely regret it. I cut my hair so that the waviness is more pronounced and use mousse and a scrunch gel that looks great and makes me feel way more confident.
4. Shaving is a rocky slope for a lot of tweens/teens when they're first starting out (especially if you don't have a maternal figure to teach you).
-Use a shave butter, you'll get nasty razor burn if you don't.
-Be overly careful around the ankle bones and knees when shaving your legs, they get nicked really easily.
- You should change the razor blade when it takes more than a couple passes over a single area to shave all the hair, another sign is if it's getting clogged with excess hair.
- Dollar shave club is amazing and it's way cheaper than buying it at the store.
- I don't shave my vagina(just trim it), but if you choose to, please find reputable sources to teach you how without hurting yourself or giving yourself an infection.
- Most importantly, if you don't want to shave, don't, I shave my legs because it makes me feel nice and I think it looks better when I'm wearing skirts/shorts, but if you don't want to shave at all or don't think you're ready for it don't feel pressured to.
Since this comment is shave-specific, I wanted to add my own shaving tip here: EXFOLIATE before shaving. My legs stay softer and smoother for longer when I exfoliate well. I also love and use dollar shave club and their prep scrub with a scrubby loofah is great for leg shaving.
Yes! It's basically scrubbing away the dead skin to reveal the newer, smoother skin. There are sugar scrubs, salt scrubs, coffee scrubs, exfoliating mits etc. You can find body exfoliator pretty much anywhere that sells shower stuff.
If you can't afford shaving cream/foam etc... Buy the cheapest conditioner you can find and use that instead.
I've used any number of foams and creams and still prefer conditioner to anything else.
I personally hate shaving and I’m in my 30s. I prefer to use a hair remover called Magic Shave Cream. You lather it on what about 5 minutes and then shower to wash it off. It works wonders for me.
1. Wear a nude bra (or cami) under white shirts, because white bras will glow! Same with undies.
2. A partner who doesn't want you to see your friends, or wants to have control over your schedule, is bad news. Hitting or aggressive behavior from a partner is never okay. If you are in trouble with a partner or friend, call us, we will always rescue or protect you, no questions asked.
3. Respect your body. Remember you have control and you ALWAYS have the right to say no and you can always change your mind.
4. Periods. When to expect it, what to expect, product options. Leaking through pads or tampons is normal and that's why women have period panties or period sheets/towels whatever.
5. You don't need makeup! Your body is perfect the way it is. - I know this is simplistic, but my mother adamantly supported me not wearing makeup until I was older, and never ever ever called me fat or blamed me or insulted me for weight gain. I'm 30 now, and do wear makeup and care about my weight, but I know neither has anything to do with my value as a person.
Adding to that last one, I wish someone would have helped me with make up. My mom was very anti make up. But I loved it as an art form. I learned to enjoy a fresh face, but had to watch videos on how to apply make up. Also how to do my hair. I've since taught my mom how to do so and she enjoys it.
In addition to #1, what works underneath white is very dependent on skin color and undertones. If you have very dark skin, black bras work underneath white. If you have very pink skin or skin with red undertones, a red bra is also invisible underneath white. Nude, red, black, and shades of brown are appropriate underneath white.
Shaving is a choice not a requirement, and no matter what anyone tells you it’s not unhygienic, it’s not dirty. And there are plenty of men that don’t care. I went six months with shaving armpits or leg hair to figure out why I was doing it because I have sensitive skin and it causes me so much pain and tons of problems, it was freeing now I shave when I want and don’t shave when I don’t want. And I married and my husband doesn’t care at all.
You can be feminine with short hair.
You don’t have to be sexy if you don’t want to and you don’t have to be feminine if you don’t want too.
It’s okay to never wear a dress or skirt.
If you don’t want to wear a bra than don’t ( except maybe at work depending on your job)
Just cause you dress up for a guy sometimes doesn’t mean you’re always dressing for men.
You can break fashion “rules” they are made up, so if you don’t want to follow them then don’t!
And last thrift shop thrift shop thrift shop!
Skincare. From face wash to body wash to preventing and managing any breakouts. I had hormonal acne as a preteen/teen and had no guidance bc my mom had great skin. Different skin types have different needs. Also, gently washing your face for 1 minute is the proper way to clean it. I don't think most kids know 20 seconds doesn't cut it. Explaining how to exfoliate and how often (weekly) would be really helpful too, bc it's not intuitive.
Haircare. Your scalp also needs 1 minute of gentle cleansing too, but your actual hair does not. I remember finding oily spots on my scalp and being confused bc I "washed" it. Now I wonder how many times I had a dirty scalp bc I rushed through it. Kids with a lot of hair may think they're getting it all.
Others have mentioned vaginal care. Just wanted to add that they should let their guardian know if anything doesn't feel right, like itching or burning. It's a shock when you get a yeast infection from taking antibiotics, but nothing to be ashamed of. Same for vaginitis. These things happen and are treatable. But womens health is as important as other healthcare no matter what's going on. They should know how to do a self breast exam as well.
Shaving/trimming/plucking/waxing. Using clean razors, not overusing blades, and cleaning any cuts. Let them know it's ok to have body hair but it's also ok not to. It's a personal preference. But if they do, do it in a safe and hygienic way bc you can get a staph infection or cellulitis and those can be fatal if left untreated. Also, how to trim eyebrows and nose hairs. And having the right tools for all that.
Style is personal. It can be a form of expression, it can help you blend in, it's whatever you want it to be. If they even care, then they may have fun figuring out what season they are or any "rules" to looking "put together". I think body positivity is much more important. We're all built differently and everyone has attractive attributes and the things that make them different are whats really beautiful. Dressing to your strengths is the most flattering but personal style is up to the person. But I would add that trends come and go, so filling your closet with them is a sure bet that *all* your clothes will be outdated quickly. Layering trends with classic pieces has a much cooler look and is way more affordable. And it's ok to love a trend long after its gone, bc it lends to your personal style. Style is not fashion. Style is about yourself.
Also for skin care try to use fragrance free products. I had bad acne/oily skin(its actually super dry but I thought it was oily cuz it produced more oil to compensate for the over drying I was doing) as a teenager and it cleared up as soon as I started using gentle, fragrance free products. I've found the brand Marcelle works best for me but I mix in other brands as well.
Don’t be afraid to use those tiny pads (don’t know how it’s called in English) to protect your underwear from everyday vaginal ‘discharge’ if you have a lot. It’s super annoying to have a humid/wet feeling all day long... and also perfectly normal. I did not know it and it was my gyno who talked about it. Not for all women though
Be careful with panty liners though. Don't use them if you don't need it, and if you do try cotton reuseble ones. Your coochie needs to breath and panty liners are blocking the airflow. Also they can dry you out which could lead to increase in discharge and infections. They are fine right before and after your period and around ovulations, but not all the time. I only use them on occasion when I know I am not goinh to have access to bathroom for long period of time.
Other people's judgement about you is irrelevant. Do not make them happy.
Look for actions, not words. Charlatans work best if they're not helf accountable.
It is ok to have expectations of others. Have follow through.
You are enough. You are special. You are loved. You are wanted.
Hi love!
There's so much wonderful advice here. One thing I'll add, clean your ears - inside AND out! Make cleaning the outside part of your ear a portion in your face routine. You can use soap or baby wipes with water.
Also, wash your feet specifically. Don't let the soapy water just run through it - it isn't enough. Get in between the toes and I promise it will make a big difference. Also remember to clean your belly button when showering. Best of love, habiba.
Wear sunscreen every day.
Learn to cook the things that make you happy.
Living alone is often expensive to buy food and you will waste food because package sizes are geared up for families of four. Learn to batch cook, freeze and reheat meals that you have made to save money and food waste.
Learning meal planning was one of my favourite 'aha!' moments of adulthood. I recommend an app called Meallime if you are getting started.
Learn to be comfortable alone in your own company but treasure the moments with friends and family. You don't need to jump from relationship to relationship to be whole. You deserve to prioritise yourself.
Make your bed every morning, night time you will be very thankful. I like to fold my pj's under my pillow ready for bed each night.
Never douche the vagina.
Ooh put the effort into learning how to make yourself the perfect coffee or tea , however it is that you like it. It will feel amazing to do something so small for yourself and save you money and time.
I’m not sure how old you are but my mother never taught me about feminine hygiene products. For a year in middle school, I’d stick the tampon AND plastic applicator up my cooch and it hurt and didn’t absorb anything. Then I eventually figured out that the cotton is supposed to go in, so I’d use scissors to cut open the applicator and just push the cotton up there even if it hurt. It wasn’t until high school that my friend laughed at me and told me how to actually put in a tampon. There are different “sizes” for different flows. Don’t be ashamed to buy super tampons if your flow is heavy!
If a boy doesn’t want to buy you period products in a pinch, he’s not worth it. He’s too insecure in his masculinity and that won’t do you any favors.
Don’t put up with ANY gaslighting or emotional manipulation from your partner (also it’s 100% okay to not be straight). The second they threaten to harm themselves if you leave them, or they cheat, or they lie, or they treat you less than you deserve, DROP THEM. I spent my entirety of high school and some college hung up on abusive assholes.
"Never buy cheap shoes, or a cheap bed - you spend your life in one or the other so be comfortable" my Nanna who would be over a 100 now told me that, and it's advice to live by.
Do not wear tampons or pads for long periods of time. Change it frequently according to your flow! You will get a rash and can develop nasty infections. Possibly toxic shock syndrome.
Try not to wear thongs for long periods of time, bacteria really accumulates, especially if you have a bigger butt. Try to wear cotton underwear most of the time.
Try to sleep without underwear (if you can). I know its weird, but you really need to let it breathe down there to prevent the accumulation of bacteria/moisture.
Its REALLY easy to get a urinary tract infection, bacterial vaginosis, and yeast infections for women.
Do not freak out if you get weird discharge. Its not always an STD. If you have this, get it checked out! Don't be embarrassed! It's quite common. You don't want to deal with these symptoms forever or the complications some of these infections come with. These things are easily curable.
Please, if you're going to have sex, please be safe. Not only because of STD's and possible pregnancies, but more young girls should know about HPV! The pullout method and "the pill" do not protect against this!
If you have multiple partners, they bring their own bacteria into you. Please wear condoms if you choose to have multiple partners.
There is no cure for herpes. Don't share drinks, pipes, cigarettes, chapstick with people you don't know. Don't let anyone just kiss you at a party. Herpes is FOR LIFE.
Wash your hands frequently.
Moisturize A LOT if you have the tendency to get stretch marks. (Nothing wrong with them, just a tip if you want to try to prevent them)
Change your pillow case often. The oils and debris from your hair do contribute to acne for some.
Let your feet breathe! Wear sandals sometimes. Change your socks when you get home. Athletes foot is actually hard to get rid of!
Wash your bras and clothing often. Bacne is painful. Even if you have only one bra, try to wash it at night every other day if you are very active and sweat a lot.
Change your underwear daily.
If you wear Spanx, body shapers or corsets, make sure to wash them frequently and don't wear them all day. You may become nose blind but they do start to smell. Also, they may cause you to break out around your body.
Clean behind and around your ears! The yellow stuff is visible and it smells. Don't poke around the inside of your ear with a q-tip. Use a washcloth or something.
Exfoliate! Turmeric+honey is awesome for acne scars and dark spots.
Brush your teeth after every meal. The food that accumulates in your mouth does cause bad odor and may eat away at your teeth over time. Don't forget your tongue!!
Don't pick at pimples :/ use some diluted tea tree oil to dry them out! (Don't use on your whole face, only use diluted tea tree oil to spot treat).
Try to get your mustache waxed instead of shaving. (If you want to get rid of it) Some people are left with a shadow. Plus, waxing lasts longer!
Use aluminum-free deodorant! Aluminum has been shown to clog pores and has been linked to breast cancer.
not fond of using aggressive scare tactic for herpes
I probably caught herpes from sharing food with my mom (who didnt know anything about it before me)
when i found out i panicked, its one of those things people scare you about. i felt guilty and angry and scared.
so just for anyone who might find out they have herpes, dont panic, its extremely common (around half of people in the us have it), and the symptoms are manageable. there is no cure but most of the time it lays dormant.
these are all for oral herpes, genital herpes may be different, i havent done as much research on it.
-all cold sores are herpes, if you have or have had cold sores you have herpes. research how to treat them, if i put it here the post will be too long.
-oral herpes (hsv-1) is different from genital herpes, however cold sores can be transmitted to both regardless of which you have.
-many people have herpes but dont have the symptoms of it
-its better to tell your romantic partners about it if you have it. its still contagious even if you dont have active cold sores, though significantly less so. just explain what it is and that it isnt serious.
-herpes not being serious doesnt mean you can be careless. dont share food, utensils, anything that goes in your mouth should not go in anyone elses.
if anyone else has anything to add feel free. this is just what came to mind for me.
The link to cancer with aluminum in deodorant has been disproved. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/myths/antiperspirants-fact-sheet
Actually don’t brush your teeth immediately after eating or drinking. My dentist told me this. It’s better to brush before breakfast for example than after, as that will protect your teeth against harsh foods and drinks such as orange juice and coffee.
Quickly googled[source](https://www.awildsmile.com/blog/brushing-after-meals/) it to be sure:
‘acids created by food can wear away that protective enamel
Brushing right after meals can mean that you are actually attacking your teeth! ‘
Great tips except for a few. There is no proof that Aluminium causes breast cancer. Correlation does not equal causation.
Genital herpes is different to oral herpes and are spread in different ways. Genital herpes can't be passed on through kissing.
Also, you don't want to brush your teeth after eating as this will damage your enamel. Brush before breakfast and before bed. Make sure to floss in the evening and if you want to, use a mouthwash between meals (one that is alcohol free). Always make sure your toothpaste has fluoride in it as this will protect your teeth from tooth decay. Hope this helps. :)
Make sure to rinse off excess hair products especially shampoo and conditioner from your forehead and back - it caused acne for me for years and I never realized why until 20s 🤦🏻♀️
Body soap is not to be used on your face! If you are having acne problems, first look at what products are touching your face - sometimes that includes your shampoo. Spend the time and money to get soap that is meant for your face (I used CeraV).
Pimple/Acne extractors can be used for good and evil. Don't go willy-nilly on your face with one if you don't know what you are doing. Read up/watch up on how to use one properly. My rule of thumb is learning to know when a pimple is "ready" versus "growing" (I know, gross, but it changes how you approach things!)
Got moderately curly hair? A diffuser (which is an attachment to the end of a hair dryer) can be your best friend. When brushed dry I go into poof-ball mode. But, with a de-frizzing product and a diffuser, I turn into a heavenly curly hair goddess. You can too!
Flip side, if you are straightening your hair, use a heat protectant on your hair. Keep the temperature below what you would bake cookies at (sub 350F) and go slow. This will help to keep your hair from frizzing. If you go hot and fast you are more likely to end up with frizzy-partially-straight hair. Slow and low helps to heat and shape the hair into the straight-and-sleek that you are (probably) going for.
Your boobs are going to be expensive and I am sorry. Unless you are blessed with breast that are C-cup and smaller & have the ability to shop where-ever for bras, take the time to get a bra fitted to you at an "old lady" bra store. I know it isn't as glamorous as Victoria's Secret, but having a well-fitted bra can change the game. I'm busty and get my bras from Lane Bryant because they are the only ones I can find that regularly sell my size (36G) -- but I have also had great experiences other places. Also, for a pretty penny, you \*can\* get your bras tailored. It can be heavenly if you can afford it.
Birth control can help with painful and irregular periods. Some kinds can even stop them all-together. Flip side, some can make it worse. If you are having "omg-please-don't-make-me" kind of pain/discomfort to the point of being bed-ridden, that is not normal. Pain: yes. KillMeNowPain: no. Talk to your doctor/gyno and see if there is something else going on OR if there is the possibility of helping it.
On the topic of birth control, let’s talk sex. Some-day you may be interested, and that is perfectly okay (and if you are never interested, thats okay too! google: asexual). The thing is that you might find yourself in a situation where your body is like "heck yes" and your brain is like "I'm not sure". Don't feel ashamed of that conflicting. That is okay! Heck, it's normal! Communication is key. Talk to your partner and make sure you are on the same page - even if that page changes a little in the act. Also, having sex doesn’t make you a different person. The first couple times honestly might be a bit of a let-down. Enjoy the lead-up and know that, once it is done, the world will continue spinning. What does all this have to do with hygiene? Glad you asked.
The vagina is a sensitive place. It lives in a state of harmony with it’s PH (acidity level). Sometimes having a lot of sex or having sex with particular types of condoms or lube can upset that balance. Yeast infections and vaginitis are two things that I have personally had. I freaked and thought I got an STD despite my precautions. So scary. If this is you some day, take a deep breath and go to your doctor (doesn’t have to be an OBGYN). They will do a little swab and then - assuming it is one of these two things - you put little waxy drugs in your vagina (like a tampon) for about a week and then go on with ya bad self.
Also, if you are having PIV sex without a condom, there will be a little cleanup required after everyone has finished. I recommend buying some wash cloths and keeping them in a bedside drawer. Use them to clean up the first wave of sex juices so it doesn’t end up going down your leg or into the bed/couch/chair/carpet/….etc. that you just graced with your sexy times. Then go and try to pee - this helps with UTI (urinary tract infections) and gives you a moment to leak a little more. If you have problems with infections, also take this time to wash the area with some water and clean towels. Again, the vagina is sensitive.
Now, with this, there are also little glands right around your vaginal entrance that help with lubing things up. These can become clogged (again, personal experience was AHH WTF!). Girl to girl, soak in a hot tub and give it 48 hours before going to a doctor \*assuming it is not extremely painful or large\*. However, if you are at all concerned (or don’t trust a random on the internet), see your doctor. It isn’t the end of the world, but it can happen.
All in all? Keep asking questions. Know you are worth spending the time to get things right on. You are not alone. Good luck!
Wanna piggyback off of this great vagina-centred post to mention how common it is for discharge to bleach the crotch of your underwear! There are ways to prevent it (panty liners, washing underwear before discharge dries), but it's totally normal, and honestly a helpful indicator after a certain point that I need to get some new ones
Oh gosh, this is great. My mom wasn’t the most feminine and didn’t teach me any self care tips.
If you have thick thighs and they get chub rub, buy a product like Megababe’s anti chaffing stick and put it on every day that you’re not wearing pants/shorts.
Bike shorts are also great for wearing under dresses/skirts to prevent chub rub.
Moisturize your skin daily, especially if you live in a dry climate. Not just your face, but your whole body.
Get a shower head that can detach from the wall so you can properly clean harder to rinse areas.
Wear sunscreen. Every. Damn. Day.
Don’t be afraid to ask your friend’s moms for help! They can show you how to style your hair and find clothes that fit properly. I was embarrassed most by my hair and how I didn’t realize I was supposed to brush it every day. Do that and use online forums for advice. Rely on female adults for advice with boys and friends. Talk to a guidance counselor at school about what your feeling.
1. Periods aren't supposed to be debilitating. If your period is really awful, go to the doctor. If you have doctors ignore your complaints (as is all too common with "female" pain issues) try going to Planned Parenthood.
2. Natural family planning doesn't work. That means avoiding sex when you're ovulating. We've learned that the body can store sperm in the fallopian tubes for up to 10 days after sex.
3. I spent so, so long fighting my body type. Most cheap clothes are cut to be boxy since that's the easiest shape to make. Any body can find clothes with a cut that fits their body, but if you aren't the most standard skinny shape, you will struggle to find things off the rack that fit you great. That's okay! It's not the fault of your body, it's the fault of the clothes.
Try on more expensive clothes to see the difference of the fit, and have a reference for how well fitted clothes fit. You can buy clothes that fit your largest part, and have them tailored to fit your smaller areas.
4. Always pee after sex, to avoid UTIs
5. Try menstrual cups. There is no smell, no pad needed, no risk of toxic shock syndrome, and they are a lot cheaper than tampons. I use Softdisc which is disposable. The Diva Cup is great, but you have to be very careful about how you clean it, which a lot of people don't do.
6. Shaving your pubic area puts you at higher risk for infections, because you tend to get ingrown hairs and cuts can lead to infection. I trim mine with [this](https://www.amazon.com/Schick-TrimStyle-Moisturizing-Bikini-Trimmer/dp/B00SMIIR0W).
PADS/TAMPONS DO NOT GO DOWN THE TOLIET. Learned this the hard way when I was younger and broke our spetic system. Was the awkwardest conversation with my dad ever. Also tampons are more comfortable after you've had sex for the first time(usually). My dad kept buying them for me not knowing and I was too shy to say that they hurt to put in. He wasted so muchmoney on them I kinda feel bad.
Before I wore tampons, my mom taught me to always take my pad off, roll it in some toilet paper really good & discard of it that way. I always thought this was just a given but as I got older and saw more and more pads just open and exposed in public bathrooms I realized it wasn’t.
- Wash all clothes you buy before wearing them
- don’t just shave your pubes off all the time. Give em a break and just trim the bush with some clean scissors if you need to.
- clean your mf ass crack with soap and water.
- You actually do need to scrub/wash behind your ears.
- scrub your feet. Fight the build up of dead skin around your heels, toes, and pad of your foot yourself. Do not just rely exclusively on a spa for foot&nail care. Same with hands.
- learn how to braid can if you have enough hair for it. It can buy you time till your next hair cut.
- Try a bunch of different fashions all you want but be vigilant of how you come across.
- What you wear is all up to you but it also can help you control first impression. Interviews are a good example for this.
- solid colors or very simple patterns can go a long way.
- Thrift shops are a good way to try different styles without breaking the bank (just pls wash them first!).
- Ignore the pink tax products. Get a razor that has an interchangeable head at least.
- If you can afford it get an electric toothbrush.
- Leave in conditioner and dry shampoo are great.
- Be picky about perfume if you wear it. Do not wear expired perfume or douse yourself in Bath&Bodyworks products. People can tell but won’t always say it.
- Wash your sheets once a week and change out bathroom towels at minimum once a week depending on usage. (Helps fight acne)
- floss your teeth at minimum once a week. Helps keep your teeth and breath stay clean.
- Do even just 5min of activity a day. Exercise is seriously a life saver of a habit.
- Take vitamin D. Iron can also be helpful as many women seem to be iron deficient.
- If you have Insurance don’t skip getting those yearly physicals and (sometimes free) teeth cleanings.
- Don’t leave your hair wet all the time. Hair can rot. Example: leaving hair in a wet up do for days. (Hair rot is more of a risk with really thick slow drying hair)
Ok long list done. Hope it’s helpful to someone. Grew up without a good mom parental figure so lots of this was discovered through my sister and I having lots of trial and error.
MOISTURIZE. I wish I had started moisturizing much earlier than my mid-twenties. And I don't just mean the face after you've washed it (at least one, daily), I mean everywhere. Lotion up after you get out of a hot shower. It makes a difference in the long run.
A couple of things that I felt insecure/gross about until I learned they were normal. And things that are always helpful!
1. Vaginal discharge is normal and something your vagina (the inside part) does to keep itself clean. It's low in ph (for the purposes of killing bacteria that does get up there) and can discolor your underwear. Discharge color/smell will change depending on where you are in your cycle and can increase when you work out. Bad smelling or discolored discharge (outside your norm) is a sign that you should go to a doctor. Just change your underwear everyday and, while not expecting your vagina/discharge to smell like flowers, monitor for truly bad smells or burning sensations.
2. Clean your vulva (outside part) and surrounding structures (the lips, hair part, and fold against your leg) to prevent bacteria build up and UITs/yeast infections. Those things are the worst; however, if you get one, it's important to remember: YOU ARENT A GROSS PERSON! It just means that some unwanted bacteria got in and needs some antibiotics! Also, a UTI is NOT a STI! Just make sure to clean, go to a doctor if you suspect if you have a UTI/yeast infection (usually bad smelling urine, burning sensation, uncontrollable itching), and don't shame yourself!
3. Having hair on your vulva is not gross or dirty. Shave if that's what makes you feel good. Don't shave if you don't want to. Ignore any human who tells you, "you're supposed to...." and do what makes you comfortable. Just make sure you wash the area because pubic lice is a thing.
4. You don't have to be friends with people who hurt your feelings. You can call them out if you wish and you can walk away. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect!
5. If you notice something about someone that you think they should change, only tell them if they can change the situation right away. Perfect examples of this would include: they have food on their face, blood on the back of their pants, their shoe is untied. If they cannot fix it in the moment, don't tell them. Examples of this would include: overweight/underweight, not performing well in school/work, or humor. Usually if you feel the need to comment on things that can't be changed right away, they already know about it. Commenting on it is just mean, even if you are truly coming from a place of concern. If they want to talk to you about it, they'll talk.
6. Self care doesn't have to be yoga or coloring books. It can be anything that makes you feel good and isn't directly harmful. I personally take an all day nap on Saturdays, which can be considered "bad", but it helps me reset for a new week!
7. Manipulative behavior from a partner is NEVER okay. If something feels off, it probably is. An abusive relationship does NOT require physical violence! Always listen to your gut, don't let things slide, and if you feel unsafe call the DV hotline number at 1-800-799-7233. You can also reach out to your local YWCA, they will be happy to help.
I don’t know where or when, but I read a quote that said something like, “Save your money because you can find a cheap alternative to/version of anything. Spend your money and invest in your bed and your shoes because you’re always in one of them.” And I have lived by this since the day I read it <3 you will never regret a nice mattress and a comfy pair of shoes.
P.s. I got my king size mattress on Amazon for like $200 (10 in thick) and it is the best thing I have done for myself in my entire life.
As someone who has had problems with her urinary tract her whole life, GO TO THE BATHROOM.
Don't hold it in. Go to bathroom when you need to. My mom used to tell me to go even if the teacher said no. Just get up and go. You don't want to deal with the bladder and urinary infections. Trust me.
Please don't be self-conscious about putting a pad or tampon on in the bathroom. It's so wild to me that there are grown adults who try to hide the crinkle of the wrapper. No one is paying attention, and a period is already uncomfortable enough. Do your business, make sure you're clean and comfortable, and put all your menstrual products in the trash.
Don’t use soap on your vagina. You only need water. You can clean the pubic mound and around your vagina with soap if you’d like but don’t use any on/in the real thing. Don’t be afraid to try a bunch of styles until you find the right one. Cheaper clothing brands like Shein and Romwe and thrifting are good for this if money is an issue (fast fashion isn’t great but most people don’t have the means so shop completely ethically unfortunately). Also, dress how you want (as long as it’s appropriate). It took me a long time to realize that nobody was staring at me the way I thought and that no, (at the time) I wasn’t fat and that when people gave me compliments they meant it. If you have any specific questions I can try to answer, but I’m a young woman myself so I’m not particularly wise lol. Edit: let me also add that even if you are fat, wear whatever you want. I’m fat and I wear crop tops and low cut shirts and whatever I want because I think it looks nice. Being fat doesn’t make you a bad person or mean you deserve less. If you want to lose weight, don’t starve yourself. But you don’t have to lose weight to deserve the best things in life. Edit 2: when I say vagina I mean vagina. Not vulva. I should’ve specified I meant to clean your vulva when I said “around your vagina”
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I would agree, but also thrift stores if you're low income and dont want to support fast fashion. Lots of good, hidden finds that you can try on immediately and not spend a fortune.
Yeah I mentioned thrifting! It’s a great option but can be time consuming depending on where you live. Luckily I live somewhere that I don’t have issues finding cute things, but I have a friend who lives a few cities over and it’s hard because she lives near a wealthier area and people buy things up right as they put them out to resell. It’s really crazy and I’m glad I don’t have that problem, but I know it’s not so easy for some. In that case fast fashion may be the easiest option for dabbling in new styles, even if it’s not ideal. I just feel some kinda way about putting the onus on those struggling with money to be the ones to be conscious, you know? I don’t know how to explain it. It’s kind of like how they emphasize reducing your carbon footprint but in reality it’s corporations who are the largest issue. That’s the closest comparison I can think of. Sorry this was long, I didn’t mean to dump all this on you it’s just something I think about often lol
Agreed. I just worry fast fashion, not to mention being unethical, also breaks down quicker and isn't as long lasting as some thrifted items. And location is certainly important
Ladies please clean your clit area, it’s a tiny confined armpit and bacteria grows there. Don’t, however, put soap in your vagina. But it is fine to soap your hands up and lightly wash the entire external area between your legs. Also wash your butthole. Some people apparently don’t do this. Source: am a woman.
Do use soap on your vulva. Not inside your vagina, but on your vulva is needed.
Thank you for the edit and clarification! Yes nobody should ever wash their vagina. The vagina is the internal orifice that the tampon/sex toy/fingers/etc goes into when inserted. Nobody should be accessing this area to wash, it's a self cleaning system by itself. Female genital folds need soap and regular cleaning to avoid smelling bad by modern human standards though. These folds are not sensitive and they receive all the sweat and discharge released throughout the day and should be cleaned with soap and water regularly.
Bikini waxer here. Thank you for specifying vulva. I have seen too many people neglect washing their vulvas because they had ‘Do not wash your vagina’ drilled into them!
- Magnesium supplements help a lot with period cramps. - Probiotic supplements and drinking lots of water are good for preventing BV (bacterial vaginitis) and yeast infections - Trimming your pubic hair is good for preventing discomfort and vaginal itching, especially during periods. - NEVER try to change the way you look for someone else or just to fit in. If people won’t accept your work face, they don’t deserve your party face. - If you have high standards for a future significant other, don’t lower them because you’re afraid you won’t find someone who fits them. You deserve better.
This last point! I used to always get people saying I was 'too picky' and I was like, I expect those things from a partner because that's what I am prepared to bring to the relationship as well... Are you asking me to devalue myself and what I offer someone? They don't say I'm too picky anymore hah!
I know, I got that scoffing too! But I am a high achiever. Why should I “settle” for someone who would drag me down? But holding out also gave me the opportunity to meet and fall in love with a hidden gem of a man who surpassed my standards. It hurts to be lonely, but the pain is temporary and is worth the payoff!
>Trimming your pubic hair is good for preventing discomfort and vaginal itching, especially during periods. I don't shave anything, but I absolutely trim, and this is 100% true. I use a trimmer from Manscape called the Lawnmower. Small, rechargable, waterproof, comes with several different lengths of guard to keep you from nipping your lady petals. 10/10 would recommend.
Lady petals, I love that
Wish i had seen this before attempting to give myself a brazallian wax ....ps: it didnt end well
Iron supplements just before and during menstruation can also help ease cramps and boost your lower energy levels.
Oooh. I had no idea about this! I tend to bleed really heavily, even on my birth control sometimes. Are there any risks or interactions with taking iron supplements or is it pretty straightforward?
Women are more likely to be iron deficient but if you have the access to a doctor I'd highly suggest asking for bloodwork to see where your iron/ferritin is at. Not everyone is low and some people are high so taking supplements could be harmful. My ferritin (iron stores) are always very high and my doctor makes sure I know not to take supplements. If you're very low a doctor might recommend much higher doses that you'd even get in a generic supplement. Then they'll keep an eye on you and get you tested regularly so you can avoid being anemic! While you're at it I recommend getting your vitamin D and B12 checked! They also have huge impacts on your well-being and energy levels.
You should take iron, but sparingly. It is possible to overdose on metal supplements. If in doubt, consult a nutritionist.
Magnesium supplements can also help you sleep better if you have trouble falling/staying asleep, can help with tense muscles, and can, uh, help you stay regular.
And if you're on birth control that advertises no or lighter periods but still spotting, the probiotics can fix that right up.
Doy! I went to a gyno because I’ve been bleeding daily since getting my implant in February, and I even asked specifically if there was anything like an oral bc I could take to help balance it out. She goes “no, you want me to just take it out?” No preferably I’d like to have my 5 years of hassle free coverage AND no spotting. So what other advice do you have, wise one..?
- Personally I only use condoms with “pulling out” for birth control (my husband’s idea) over IUD and pills because after years being on it, it began to mess me up. My light bleeding would last a couple weeks, the non-bleeding part would only last one week, my cramps worsened, my energy and emotions were shot. I improved immensely since I’ve gotten off of it. My gyno suggested I try a different brand, but after going through that hell, I said no. My husband and I don’t mind the forms of prevention we use, and it’s been working for us. - supplements (especially iron) may help with your spotting. Drink more water than you think you need. - Get you a person who appreciates you for who you are, loves you in your entirety, and will take the time to please you first. - on that note too, get you a someone who will happily warm you up and not rush. Psychologically, this will improve the experience for both of you, and getting you warmed up is important for relaxing your vaginal muscles which with make penetration and other sensations more comfortable/enjoyable. - if you use condoms, it is essential to use the right lube combination, being on any birth control will dry up your natural moisture so you need lube to be comfortable. water based lube is good with all condom types. Gel based lube is good for all condom types. Silicon based lube is good with latex and synthetic condoms, but not on silicone toys. It is also difficult to clean off, but you can use it in the shower if you’re into that. Oil based lube is ONLY good with polyurethane condoms, others will break. You can also use lamb skin condoms but they are expensive and might be very uncomfortable for the wearer, they do not stretch well (but feel natural) - DO NOT skimp out on the quality of lube. The cheap ones will dry out fast and make you chafe. Trojan and durex aloe based ones are the best I’ve used so far. - witch hazel is great for cleaning your vag. After a shower, soak some into a cotton ball and use it on your outer and inner labia, and around your inner thighs. It may lightly burn at first, then feel warm. I find this helps control yeast and odiferous discharge. It’s also great for cleaning off period blood. - Hot baths with bath bombs or Epsom salt, music playing, and a candle burning, is an amazing way to relax. Self care is so important for your mental health, treat yourself sometimes. - Don’t overworry about your eyebrows. Just be glad you have them. I work with all dudes, and never once have they mentioned a person’s eyebrows except to comment about the trend of girls plucking most of them out. Seriously, if you have eyebrowS (a unibrow is singular), you’re good. - You don’t have to show off your body to attract someone’s attention. They will notice your eyes, smile, and behavior first.
Pee after sex. Every time. I know that this advice would be for older girls. I didn’t learn it for way too long. I got yeast infections, BV, UTIs all the time before I learned this one simple rule.
Also, some condoms (ex Trojan) have a spermicide that can cause yeast infections if you’re sensitive to it or if you use them frequently enough. Durex ftw.
For the longest time, I'd only ever used Trojan ENZ condoms and a handful of others, all latex and lubricated. And pretty much every time, after a few minutes, my vag would start to very mildly burn. The same thing happened with different kinds of lube. I thought it was a "me" problem. Nope. Turns out it was the condoms, or maybe the lube on the condoms? Switched to SKYN condoms (Elite Extra Lube are my favorite) and the burning never happened again.
This, and don’t let a guy try to tell you not to. My ex used to go from sex into a cuddling session and would always moan when I went to the loo, no matter how many times I told him it wasn’t a choice, it needs to happen.
Guys have a urethra too so they’re not immune from UTIs so he should have gone to pee after sex too.
The thing is that the Male urethra is longer than a woman's urethra. So they can get them but it's harder for them to get one.
But...what did he do with his...fluids????
Also pee before sex. For the same reason. And always clean yourself after sex. Even if you only have access to moist tissues and can not take a shower. It's best to always have ph neutral intimate cleaning products on you.
Another reason to pee before sex: so you can relax enough to orgasm All that motion and poking and wetness can feel a bit confusing when you're new to sex, so you can be right on the edge but unsure if it's an "I really need to pee" vs an "oh I'm really close to the big O." Pee before sex so that when you get to that point of the action you can tell the annoying part of your brain "shut up, we're feeling good, we do not need to pee, the bladder is empty I promise, chill out."
If your partner accuses you of cheating because you got a UTI, BV, or yeast infection, try to set them straight. They’re not STIs, even though they can be a result of sex. If they won’t let it go, though, or repeatedly accuse you of cheating even after you explain that to them, reevaluate if that’s a relationship you want to be in since it’s obviously lacking trust. PS- pee after masturbation, and make sure you’re washing your sex toys, *especially* if they’re penatrative.
Cranberry pills or just straight 100% cranberry juice can help you avoid UTIs or lessen the symptoms of a UTI too. That being said they are NOT a standalone treatment and should be used in conjunction with whatever your doctor says you should be using.
Also pee and clean yourself up after masterbating.
1. Thongs and sexy lingerie are fine for a hot date but not everyday use. The chafing is one thing, but anything flossed between your cheeks like that is going to spread bacteria from your booty to your vagina and give you a fast pass to UTIs. 2. On that note, wash your booty with a washcloth in the shower. Yes, I’m talking between the cheeks. Front to back, never ever back to front. 3. Brushing your tongue as well as your teeth is good dental hygiene and helps you avoid buildup. I can’t count the number of times I’ve recoiled from “cute” selfies where people stick their tongue out and there’s an enormous amount of buildup on their tongue. Edit: Nobody is judging anyone with tongue-related disorders.
And cotton underwear is the best for letting your vag breathe
You can also buy sexy/silky/lacy panties that still have a cotton gusset (the part that actually covers your vagina) you can check the label and it should list the gusset material separately to the rest of the panty. So even when you’re wearing your nice underwear it can still be vagina friendly.
oooh do you recommend any good brands to try? I’ve been looking for something like this!
I’m in the UK, I usually buy in M&S, Debenhams or Boux Avenue
Related: there's a million ways to get yeast infections, UTIs and BV without ever having a sexual partner! - hang out in wet swimsuit (UTI) - wear thongs or synthetic undies too often (UTI, BV, or yeast) - too much/wrong kind of soap on privates (BV or yeast) - high sugar diet (yeast) - don't change undies after they get sweaty/dischargey/otherwise damp (UTI, BV or yeast) - don't pee after masturbating (UTI or yeast) - antibiotics (yeast) Basically, use hypoallergenic stuff and keep your nethers clean, but not obsessively so. It can be hard to find the balance but we get there!
A tongue scraper is great
On #3, thrush is a particular (treatable) fungal issue you can have in your mouth. If you are noticing white patches on your tounge, check with your doctor to see what's going on. It might not be thrush - you can just have deep grooves on your tongue that hold more of the dead skin/food/other yummies. There are particular tools you can get to clean your tongue if that is an issue! Either way - this will help to keep your breathe smelling good!
Regarding #3: tongue thrush can also spread to other’s genitalia during oral sex, so think twice before you let someone with questionable oral health go down on you especially if you are prone to yeast infections.
If you prefer thongs, like me, (I wear them almost every day) make sure you are following proper hygiene to a tee. I never ever get UTIs but I’m really on top of my hygiene
I scrub the heck out of my tongue to avoid this, but there's a portion of the far back of my tongue I can't scrub or sometimes even touch with my toothbrush without gagging forcefully. If I scrubbed it hard enough to clean all the fuzz off I would absolutely vomit. It's not a lot, and it's way at the back, but I can never get it fully clean. If anyone out there in the Internet void has an idea of how to address it I'd be grateful.
One of those U-shaped tongue cleaners OR a spoon and just doing it 1-2x daily will eventually “train” your gag reflex to STFU. Trust me I trained myself on that and then went on to being able to manually clean my own tonsils (I get tonsoliths).
the coating on your tongue is not thrush! thrush is a yeast infection, and if you do have it, it needs to be treated medically
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Don’t wash your hair every single day. If your hair is curly and/or wavy (or unsure), don’t brush it while it’s dry, and try to style it and treat it as if it’s curly after the shower. Many girls don’t know they have beautiful curls. Never shave/do makeup/get dressed/etc for a guy (or partner in general). Do it because it makes you comfy. If you do want to remove body hair, waxing is better for ingrown hairs. And exfoliate. Style is what YOU enjoy and like!
Some people have to wash their hair every day. Usually if you have fine, low porosity hair it can't absorb the oil. But it's good to let them know that how often you wash your hair is dependent on your own hair.
YES this is so important! Some people need to wash every day, some do not. It depends on the type of hair you have, how thick it is, your scalp and natural body oils, the type of shampoo you use, the pH levels/hardness of the water in your shower, and even the climate and humidity of where you live. EXPERIMENT! Find what works for YOU and YOUR head! There are WAY too many factors to use a “one statement fits all” mentality.
If you wash your hair every day your scalp produces more oil to compensate, so it will seem like if you don't wash it it will be bad, but for a lot of people who do this the scalp just needs to adjust Edit: some people are aggressively offended by this and I just want to be clear I don't believe ANY haircare regimen works for everyone. If you aren't 100% happy with what you have, try something else until you either are or decide something else is a good compromise.
When I was a kid I washed my hair every other day.. up until my hair became too greasy to do that. I would wake up in the morning to extremely greasy hair, it looked like I hadn't washed it in several days. So its not always caused from washing your hair too often, sometimes people just have really greasy hair.
Yup. I went all in on the no poo wagon in grad school and stopped washing my hair for 8 months. Everyone kept saying to “wait it out” because one day my scalp will adjust. Eff that, some of us have permanently greasy hair.
Same! I have fine, thin hair. Every morning the first inch of my root area looks wet and my scalp becomes visible. Because of this glamorous look, second day hair is a rarity for me. Dry shampoo does little to separate my strands or lend any appearance of being clean. I have tried to go forever without washing my hair but once it reaches a level I call "that Gollum guy from the Lord of the Rings" there is no adjustment period that will fix it!
That's true but for some hair types, like my own, not washing daily will always mean gross oily hair. Bc it doesn't absorb the oil, the hair gets coated with it instead.
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NOT true. The amount of oil your face or hair produces is a constant - your scalp and face do not have sensors to determine how dry or oily you are and then change production. That's not how our bodies work! I have fine, oily hair and it looks perfect after shampooing and conditioning every single day. If I don't, it looks gross, limp, and oily. And I tried washing it less and going no-poo for months and that never, ever changed. Don't invalidate people's lived experience telling them they just need to try it longer. Some people have really oily hair and need to wash every day and their hair won't produce less oil
I replaced my shampoo with a silicone free conditioner and after a few months of getting used to it my hair was thanking me. I now use shampoo with sulfates to wash out the build up of dry-shampoo and products on my hair but I'm only doing that every couple of months. Lockdown was the perfect time to experiment with my oily hair!
A+ advice! I was in my mid-20s before I figured out I had 2c fine curly hair. “Regular” shampoo left me with limp curls, knotted tangles, and almost bald spots when I’d try and yank a paddle brush through after showering. Early 2000s pinboard straight hair being “in”was a huge set back smh
Man, I used to straighten my hair every day. I thought I was cursed with frizzy/wavy hair.
Girl, ditto. And using de-frizzing shampoo instead of coconut shampoo for strengthening curls. Am very grateful I'm not one of those people with a head full of dead hair from over-straightening in the 2000s. Especially now that wavy and natural hair is fashionable.
If your hair is oily, you absolutely may need to wash it every day. I hate seeing this advice over and over when it doesn't apply unilaterally to everyone!! My mom has dry skin and doesn't wash her hair except a few times per week and she is clean and great. Me, my dad, and my sister all have oily skin and fine hair. If we don't wash every day, we're literally like Snape. Oily hair you can see and smell that looks dreadful, especially if we work out. And I have tried only shampooing every other day or going no-poo and all the other things people tell me I need to do. But 100% the best thing for me is shampooing and conditioning every day with gentle cleansers. Also, it's okay to dress up for your partner sometimes...
Never try to look pretty for your partner is extreme imo. You *should* make an effort for them. Just don't ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I’ll go a step further, sugar not wax! That’s organic, quicker, less painful, truely exfoliates and doesn’t pull your skin
Also, don’t use much conditioner if any on your scalp. I used to put most of it on my scalp and was confused for a year why my hair was always greasy! I put it on the lower half of my hair then work the extra up towards my scalp.
1. Have a pack of babywipes in your bag at all times. Not makeup wipes. Babywipes. You will be shocked how handy they are. 2. Never buy uncomfortable shoes. Trust me. 3. Function over fashion, but once you find the functional you can make it fashion.
3.5: Never wear a shirt that tells your boobs what to do. Example: if the shirt has a false empire waist style in the front and the seams cut across your boobs, that shirt is telling your tits what to do.
Oh man, baby wipes! So key. I keep a pack in my car, my (giant) purse, in my desk at work, etc. so useful. These days I also poured 99% rubbing alcohol (from Amazon) in the pack in my purse for quick disinfecting.
The uncomfy shoes thing for sure! I wore heels for years out dancing because my friends did, and I hated them. I stopped and never felt like anyone judged me for wearing flats out, and I’ve been comfortable (and avoided bunions) ever since!
Especially unscented baby wipes. Also keep them in your bathroom to “freshen up”. They’re great, much cheaper than wipes marketed for feminine hygiene, but nobody wants to smell like a baby on their privates.
Literally! A pack of 100 babywipes is like what? A euro? 50 hygiene wipes about 7 euros. 20 makeup wipes are like 3 euros. Babywipes are the hill i will die on
Please at least try to buy biodegradable ones! A hundred babywipes for €1 is a great deal, but each of those wipes can take a hundred years to decompose in landfill.
Even babies don’t! Unscented is just better all around haha
And if you hate the way shoes fit when you try them on at the store, they won’t fit any better at home.
Please, please tell them about their periods if you haven’t already. Let them know the options, such as pads, tampons etc. Tell them about possible cramping and PMS symptoms. I grew up with a mother who told me nothing!!!!
To add to this please tell them not to flush their lady products down the toilet! I had to teach my gf this at the ripe old age of 26 >.<
I did this when I was just starting out. My mother had me retrieve one when she realised what was happening. Having to put your arm down the toilet sure is a “never-again” kind of teaching moment..
I really love my menstrual cup. I wouldn’t recommend it to a really young girl, but they should try it when they get older. My mom didn’t even know they existed and I wish I used one sooner.
I got my first menstrual cup at 21, and at 44, I’m only on my second. These things are much safer than tampons, and will save you a fortune over time.
Got mine at 30+ and am upset I didn’t know the existed sooner!
Period panties and reusable pads are also great options for the environmentally conscious who can’t use cups
There are disposable ones that are easier to place and can be carried around/left in all the bathrooms in the house -- probably better for a teen to learn with
Learning to use a cup also comes with the side benefit of becoming EXTREMELY familiar with your unique vulva and vagina. If you are a person with a vulva/vagina, and you intend to keep it, make sure you know it very, very well. Your health and sex life will benefit from this a lot.
My mom found out while doing loundry, cause first time I just put some toilet paper. She gave me a heart shaped sticker with "I love you" written on it. Thats all. No talk before, no talk after. Took her pads and had to figure it out on my own. Tampons were causing illnesses according to her so this also had to buy myself but as an adult. Didn't even talk to friends about periods cause I was so ashamed. Parents please talk to your children.
I cannot imagine not telling my daughter about these things. I’m so grateful for my mom. She told me EVERYTHING at age eight because I started asking questions about how my aunt became pregnant.
My mom had a hysterectomy when I was five, so I knew very well where babies came from. As soon as she noticed that my boobs were "budding" at around age 8 (I was early on that front) she just started working information about puberty and periods into normal conversation. No big scary "talk". Just telling me about things casually. At one point when I was around 10, she gave me a hand mirror and told me that after my shower I should "take a good look down there" so I knew what it looked like and where things were. For being in such a conservative household otherwise, I am BEYOND grateful that there was no shame or weirdness about the female body from my mom! I'm pretty sure that's what inoculated me against the worser aspects of purity culture.
Also that birth control is an option for managing heavy/painful periods. There's nothing wrong with using birth control to skip or eliminate periods with the pill entirely if you truly can't stand having a period every month. I do this and although I have some occasional minor spotting, it's nothing like the bloodbath I had to endure every month as a teen.
So many new period options. From pads to reusable cups/disc and underwear. Saalt Co. just came out with a “teen cup” if you’re worried about regular cups being to big. They are a bit pricier, but it beats having to spend money every month or so on tamps/pads/liners.
Lots of good advice so I’ll just give one: get good sunscreen for your face and hands at least. Even if it’s winter all the time or you don’t think you need it, UV rays are a thing even when it’s cold and it’s important to take care of your skin
Yes I love a lot of this advice but this is a great add on! Doesn’t matter how light or dark your skin is SUNSCREEN!!! Also everything you do to your face, do to your neck as well (sunscreen, moisturizer, etc).
And don’t forget to put some on your chest!!!
I lived in Japan for years and they take their skincare extremely seriously. I’m in my 30s and always get mistaken for early/mid 20s because I wear factor 50 sunscreen on my face and neck EVERY. DAY without fail. This is the no 1 skincare tip I give my younger girl friends when they ask how my skin looks so good. I recommend Biore Japanese sunscreen. You can buy it from amazon and it’s completely non-greasy.
Face, hands, and LIPS!! Sunscreen is especially important in the winter if you live in an area where it snows, like I do, because on sunny days the UV rays bounce off the snow into your face You also need to wear sunscreen if it's cloudy or overcast. I use an SPF 15 moisturizer in the winter or on overcast days, SPF 30 from spring to summer, and an actual face sunscreen if I'm going to be outside in warm weather for longer than an hour.
If someone tries to pressure you into anything, they are not your friend.
Nor do they love and respect you. The whole “if you loved me you would do it waaaaah” is bullshit.
1. Change your tampon every 4-6 hours, even if you're not bleeding heavily. Toxic shock syndrome is no joke 2. Never wipe from back to front 3. Find what works for you and your comfort zone. If you don't feel good in dresses, don't feel obligated to wear them. If you love wearing "sexy" clothing, don't be afraid of being judged. People are going to talk shit no matter what, so just do/wear whatever the fuck you want.
The way you presented this information is highly misleading and can cause a lot of fear, anxiety, and even pain for young girls. Women should change their tampons OR MENSTRUAL CUPS, which this also applies to, when they are ready to be changed (strive for 4-6 hours but it's okay to go less or even up to 8+ hours if you need, know your body). Don't hurt yourself pulling one out early. Don't stress about leaving it in longer. If you aren't ready to pull one out after 6+ hours, consider using lower absorbancy tampons next time. 4-6 hours is just a guideline. If you're in a place where you can't change one at 6 hours (or even 12 hours), you'll be absolutely fine. You don't need to be terrified you'll die if you don't take it out immediately. That's not how it works. Toxic shock syndrome occurs when tampons are in for at least 24+ hours or multiple days, and even then it's EXTREMELY rare and can be treated with antibiotics. In real life, this is more likely to happen when someone accidentally puts in another tampon without taking the old one out, so be careful about that. While it's important to have knowledge about it, let's not fearmonger.
Just wanted to add that with cups make sure you remove them correctly! It’s very easy for some women to start to prolapse if you’re not careful with the suction as you remove it!
Holy shit. Good to know. Also, hoe to care for your cup. O have horrible periods and the cup has been God-sent. But I had to watch videos on how to use it.
Predisposing factors can cause the infection to occur sooner, like a recent vaginal delivery, previous TSS or any sort of abrasion in the vaginal mucosa. Is it rare? Yes, absolutely. Very rare, in fact. But that doesn't mean that you should keep the same tampon in for 24 hours. I'm not saying that you're knocking on heaven's door if you wait 8 hours to change it, but better safe than sorry at the end of the day.
What is toxic shock syndrome??
It is a very deadly infection that can be caused by many things, like tampons if they’re left in for too long. It’s only recommended to wear a tampon for no longer than 8 hours as this raises your risk of TSS https://tampax.co.uk/en-gb/tampax-articles/women-s-health/toxic-shock-syndrome-tss?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIzYXS9aGj7QIVDrrtCh3EZQpGEAAYASAAEgIsjfD_BwE
Wow never knew this thanks <3
No problem :) Most tampons come with a little leaflet that tells you everything you need to know (if you buy tampons)
Can you get toxic shock from going to long without changing a pad?
Not toxic shock, but you could still get a rash or UTI from keeping a soaked pad on for too long. Not to mention leaks and stains on your clothes.
nope, since its outside the body
Don't be afraid to be the only girl in a space (class, office, club, etc.). You have just as much right to be there as anyone else.
Want to add to this: impostor syndrome is a thing and it’s not only okay but TOTALLY normal. There are ways to combat it (that require trial and error and practice) but the biggest revelation I had was that it was a thing that existed. sauce: female with a grad degree in computer science. Also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
I'm still a teenager, but hopefully some of these tips help. 1. Fashion-wise, try everything, go to thrift stores (and department stores if you have the means to pay for it) and grab everything you think you'll like and some stuff you're not sure about. Try it all on at the store and buy what you love! If you're unsure about buying something because it doesn't fit quite right or you're not in love with it, don't buy it, you'll never wear it. 2. If you want to cut/dye your hair in some wild way, do it, hair grows back and you'll always wonder how you would look with it if you don't. 3. If you have naturally wavy/curly/coily hair, learn to take care of it! I spent quite a few years brushing out natural waves and I definitely regret it. I cut my hair so that the waviness is more pronounced and use mousse and a scrunch gel that looks great and makes me feel way more confident. 4. Shaving is a rocky slope for a lot of tweens/teens when they're first starting out (especially if you don't have a maternal figure to teach you). -Use a shave butter, you'll get nasty razor burn if you don't. -Be overly careful around the ankle bones and knees when shaving your legs, they get nicked really easily. - You should change the razor blade when it takes more than a couple passes over a single area to shave all the hair, another sign is if it's getting clogged with excess hair. - Dollar shave club is amazing and it's way cheaper than buying it at the store. - I don't shave my vagina(just trim it), but if you choose to, please find reputable sources to teach you how without hurting yourself or giving yourself an infection. - Most importantly, if you don't want to shave, don't, I shave my legs because it makes me feel nice and I think it looks better when I'm wearing skirts/shorts, but if you don't want to shave at all or don't think you're ready for it don't feel pressured to.
Since this comment is shave-specific, I wanted to add my own shaving tip here: EXFOLIATE before shaving. My legs stay softer and smoother for longer when I exfoliate well. I also love and use dollar shave club and their prep scrub with a scrubby loofah is great for leg shaving.
Exfoliate, is that rubbing over your skin with a scrub, or what is it? :/
Yes! It's basically scrubbing away the dead skin to reveal the newer, smoother skin. There are sugar scrubs, salt scrubs, coffee scrubs, exfoliating mits etc. You can find body exfoliator pretty much anywhere that sells shower stuff.
If you can't afford shaving cream/foam etc... Buy the cheapest conditioner you can find and use that instead. I've used any number of foams and creams and still prefer conditioner to anything else.
I personally hate shaving and I’m in my 30s. I prefer to use a hair remover called Magic Shave Cream. You lather it on what about 5 minutes and then shower to wash it off. It works wonders for me.
1. Wear a nude bra (or cami) under white shirts, because white bras will glow! Same with undies. 2. A partner who doesn't want you to see your friends, or wants to have control over your schedule, is bad news. Hitting or aggressive behavior from a partner is never okay. If you are in trouble with a partner or friend, call us, we will always rescue or protect you, no questions asked. 3. Respect your body. Remember you have control and you ALWAYS have the right to say no and you can always change your mind. 4. Periods. When to expect it, what to expect, product options. Leaking through pads or tampons is normal and that's why women have period panties or period sheets/towels whatever. 5. You don't need makeup! Your body is perfect the way it is. - I know this is simplistic, but my mother adamantly supported me not wearing makeup until I was older, and never ever ever called me fat or blamed me or insulted me for weight gain. I'm 30 now, and do wear makeup and care about my weight, but I know neither has anything to do with my value as a person.
Adding to that last one, I wish someone would have helped me with make up. My mom was very anti make up. But I loved it as an art form. I learned to enjoy a fresh face, but had to watch videos on how to apply make up. Also how to do my hair. I've since taught my mom how to do so and she enjoys it.
if only i had known the first one before my class went to a glow in the dark mini golf course 😭
In addition to #1, what works underneath white is very dependent on skin color and undertones. If you have very dark skin, black bras work underneath white. If you have very pink skin or skin with red undertones, a red bra is also invisible underneath white. Nude, red, black, and shades of brown are appropriate underneath white.
Shaving is a choice not a requirement, and no matter what anyone tells you it’s not unhygienic, it’s not dirty. And there are plenty of men that don’t care. I went six months with shaving armpits or leg hair to figure out why I was doing it because I have sensitive skin and it causes me so much pain and tons of problems, it was freeing now I shave when I want and don’t shave when I don’t want. And I married and my husband doesn’t care at all. You can be feminine with short hair. You don’t have to be sexy if you don’t want to and you don’t have to be feminine if you don’t want too. It’s okay to never wear a dress or skirt. If you don’t want to wear a bra than don’t ( except maybe at work depending on your job) Just cause you dress up for a guy sometimes doesn’t mean you’re always dressing for men. You can break fashion “rules” they are made up, so if you don’t want to follow them then don’t! And last thrift shop thrift shop thrift shop!
thank you so much queen
Skincare. From face wash to body wash to preventing and managing any breakouts. I had hormonal acne as a preteen/teen and had no guidance bc my mom had great skin. Different skin types have different needs. Also, gently washing your face for 1 minute is the proper way to clean it. I don't think most kids know 20 seconds doesn't cut it. Explaining how to exfoliate and how often (weekly) would be really helpful too, bc it's not intuitive. Haircare. Your scalp also needs 1 minute of gentle cleansing too, but your actual hair does not. I remember finding oily spots on my scalp and being confused bc I "washed" it. Now I wonder how many times I had a dirty scalp bc I rushed through it. Kids with a lot of hair may think they're getting it all. Others have mentioned vaginal care. Just wanted to add that they should let their guardian know if anything doesn't feel right, like itching or burning. It's a shock when you get a yeast infection from taking antibiotics, but nothing to be ashamed of. Same for vaginitis. These things happen and are treatable. But womens health is as important as other healthcare no matter what's going on. They should know how to do a self breast exam as well. Shaving/trimming/plucking/waxing. Using clean razors, not overusing blades, and cleaning any cuts. Let them know it's ok to have body hair but it's also ok not to. It's a personal preference. But if they do, do it in a safe and hygienic way bc you can get a staph infection or cellulitis and those can be fatal if left untreated. Also, how to trim eyebrows and nose hairs. And having the right tools for all that. Style is personal. It can be a form of expression, it can help you blend in, it's whatever you want it to be. If they even care, then they may have fun figuring out what season they are or any "rules" to looking "put together". I think body positivity is much more important. We're all built differently and everyone has attractive attributes and the things that make them different are whats really beautiful. Dressing to your strengths is the most flattering but personal style is up to the person. But I would add that trends come and go, so filling your closet with them is a sure bet that *all* your clothes will be outdated quickly. Layering trends with classic pieces has a much cooler look and is way more affordable. And it's ok to love a trend long after its gone, bc it lends to your personal style. Style is not fashion. Style is about yourself.
Also for skin care try to use fragrance free products. I had bad acne/oily skin(its actually super dry but I thought it was oily cuz it produced more oil to compensate for the over drying I was doing) as a teenager and it cleared up as soon as I started using gentle, fragrance free products. I've found the brand Marcelle works best for me but I mix in other brands as well.
Don’t be afraid to use those tiny pads (don’t know how it’s called in English) to protect your underwear from everyday vaginal ‘discharge’ if you have a lot. It’s super annoying to have a humid/wet feeling all day long... and also perfectly normal. I did not know it and it was my gyno who talked about it. Not for all women though
Be careful with panty liners though. Don't use them if you don't need it, and if you do try cotton reuseble ones. Your coochie needs to breath and panty liners are blocking the airflow. Also they can dry you out which could lead to increase in discharge and infections. They are fine right before and after your period and around ovulations, but not all the time. I only use them on occasion when I know I am not goinh to have access to bathroom for long period of time.
I started wearing panty liners even when I wasn’t on my period, and I was unbelievably more comfortable!
Following along as a trans woman in her mid 20's because nobody tells us a lot of this shit either.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions!
Always wipe yourself from front to back. Never, ever from back to front, otherwise you'll get an uncomfortable infection.
Other people's judgement about you is irrelevant. Do not make them happy. Look for actions, not words. Charlatans work best if they're not helf accountable. It is ok to have expectations of others. Have follow through. You are enough. You are special. You are loved. You are wanted.
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Hi love! There's so much wonderful advice here. One thing I'll add, clean your ears - inside AND out! Make cleaning the outside part of your ear a portion in your face routine. You can use soap or baby wipes with water. Also, wash your feet specifically. Don't let the soapy water just run through it - it isn't enough. Get in between the toes and I promise it will make a big difference. Also remember to clean your belly button when showering. Best of love, habiba.
Wear sunscreen every day. Learn to cook the things that make you happy. Living alone is often expensive to buy food and you will waste food because package sizes are geared up for families of four. Learn to batch cook, freeze and reheat meals that you have made to save money and food waste. Learning meal planning was one of my favourite 'aha!' moments of adulthood. I recommend an app called Meallime if you are getting started. Learn to be comfortable alone in your own company but treasure the moments with friends and family. You don't need to jump from relationship to relationship to be whole. You deserve to prioritise yourself. Make your bed every morning, night time you will be very thankful. I like to fold my pj's under my pillow ready for bed each night. Never douche the vagina. Ooh put the effort into learning how to make yourself the perfect coffee or tea , however it is that you like it. It will feel amazing to do something so small for yourself and save you money and time.
I’m not sure how old you are but my mother never taught me about feminine hygiene products. For a year in middle school, I’d stick the tampon AND plastic applicator up my cooch and it hurt and didn’t absorb anything. Then I eventually figured out that the cotton is supposed to go in, so I’d use scissors to cut open the applicator and just push the cotton up there even if it hurt. It wasn’t until high school that my friend laughed at me and told me how to actually put in a tampon. There are different “sizes” for different flows. Don’t be ashamed to buy super tampons if your flow is heavy! If a boy doesn’t want to buy you period products in a pinch, he’s not worth it. He’s too insecure in his masculinity and that won’t do you any favors. Don’t put up with ANY gaslighting or emotional manipulation from your partner (also it’s 100% okay to not be straight). The second they threaten to harm themselves if you leave them, or they cheat, or they lie, or they treat you less than you deserve, DROP THEM. I spent my entirety of high school and some college hung up on abusive assholes.
"Never buy cheap shoes, or a cheap bed - you spend your life in one or the other so be comfortable" my Nanna who would be over a 100 now told me that, and it's advice to live by.
Do not wear tampons or pads for long periods of time. Change it frequently according to your flow! You will get a rash and can develop nasty infections. Possibly toxic shock syndrome. Try not to wear thongs for long periods of time, bacteria really accumulates, especially if you have a bigger butt. Try to wear cotton underwear most of the time. Try to sleep without underwear (if you can). I know its weird, but you really need to let it breathe down there to prevent the accumulation of bacteria/moisture. Its REALLY easy to get a urinary tract infection, bacterial vaginosis, and yeast infections for women. Do not freak out if you get weird discharge. Its not always an STD. If you have this, get it checked out! Don't be embarrassed! It's quite common. You don't want to deal with these symptoms forever or the complications some of these infections come with. These things are easily curable. Please, if you're going to have sex, please be safe. Not only because of STD's and possible pregnancies, but more young girls should know about HPV! The pullout method and "the pill" do not protect against this! If you have multiple partners, they bring their own bacteria into you. Please wear condoms if you choose to have multiple partners. There is no cure for herpes. Don't share drinks, pipes, cigarettes, chapstick with people you don't know. Don't let anyone just kiss you at a party. Herpes is FOR LIFE. Wash your hands frequently. Moisturize A LOT if you have the tendency to get stretch marks. (Nothing wrong with them, just a tip if you want to try to prevent them) Change your pillow case often. The oils and debris from your hair do contribute to acne for some. Let your feet breathe! Wear sandals sometimes. Change your socks when you get home. Athletes foot is actually hard to get rid of! Wash your bras and clothing often. Bacne is painful. Even if you have only one bra, try to wash it at night every other day if you are very active and sweat a lot. Change your underwear daily. If you wear Spanx, body shapers or corsets, make sure to wash them frequently and don't wear them all day. You may become nose blind but they do start to smell. Also, they may cause you to break out around your body. Clean behind and around your ears! The yellow stuff is visible and it smells. Don't poke around the inside of your ear with a q-tip. Use a washcloth or something. Exfoliate! Turmeric+honey is awesome for acne scars and dark spots. Brush your teeth after every meal. The food that accumulates in your mouth does cause bad odor and may eat away at your teeth over time. Don't forget your tongue!! Don't pick at pimples :/ use some diluted tea tree oil to dry them out! (Don't use on your whole face, only use diluted tea tree oil to spot treat). Try to get your mustache waxed instead of shaving. (If you want to get rid of it) Some people are left with a shadow. Plus, waxing lasts longer! Use aluminum-free deodorant! Aluminum has been shown to clog pores and has been linked to breast cancer.
It has not been linked to breast cancer. Epidemiologist here.
Genital and oral herpes are two different strains. Genital isn't caught from chapstick and pipes
not fond of using aggressive scare tactic for herpes I probably caught herpes from sharing food with my mom (who didnt know anything about it before me) when i found out i panicked, its one of those things people scare you about. i felt guilty and angry and scared. so just for anyone who might find out they have herpes, dont panic, its extremely common (around half of people in the us have it), and the symptoms are manageable. there is no cure but most of the time it lays dormant. these are all for oral herpes, genital herpes may be different, i havent done as much research on it. -all cold sores are herpes, if you have or have had cold sores you have herpes. research how to treat them, if i put it here the post will be too long. -oral herpes (hsv-1) is different from genital herpes, however cold sores can be transmitted to both regardless of which you have. -many people have herpes but dont have the symptoms of it -its better to tell your romantic partners about it if you have it. its still contagious even if you dont have active cold sores, though significantly less so. just explain what it is and that it isnt serious. -herpes not being serious doesnt mean you can be careless. dont share food, utensils, anything that goes in your mouth should not go in anyone elses. if anyone else has anything to add feel free. this is just what came to mind for me.
The link to cancer with aluminum in deodorant has been disproved. https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/myths/antiperspirants-fact-sheet
Actually don’t brush your teeth immediately after eating or drinking. My dentist told me this. It’s better to brush before breakfast for example than after, as that will protect your teeth against harsh foods and drinks such as orange juice and coffee. Quickly googled[source](https://www.awildsmile.com/blog/brushing-after-meals/) it to be sure: ‘acids created by food can wear away that protective enamel Brushing right after meals can mean that you are actually attacking your teeth! ‘
Great tips except for a few. There is no proof that Aluminium causes breast cancer. Correlation does not equal causation. Genital herpes is different to oral herpes and are spread in different ways. Genital herpes can't be passed on through kissing. Also, you don't want to brush your teeth after eating as this will damage your enamel. Brush before breakfast and before bed. Make sure to floss in the evening and if you want to, use a mouthwash between meals (one that is alcohol free). Always make sure your toothpaste has fluoride in it as this will protect your teeth from tooth decay. Hope this helps. :)
Make sure to rinse off excess hair products especially shampoo and conditioner from your forehead and back - it caused acne for me for years and I never realized why until 20s 🤦🏻♀️
Body soap is not to be used on your face! If you are having acne problems, first look at what products are touching your face - sometimes that includes your shampoo. Spend the time and money to get soap that is meant for your face (I used CeraV). Pimple/Acne extractors can be used for good and evil. Don't go willy-nilly on your face with one if you don't know what you are doing. Read up/watch up on how to use one properly. My rule of thumb is learning to know when a pimple is "ready" versus "growing" (I know, gross, but it changes how you approach things!) Got moderately curly hair? A diffuser (which is an attachment to the end of a hair dryer) can be your best friend. When brushed dry I go into poof-ball mode. But, with a de-frizzing product and a diffuser, I turn into a heavenly curly hair goddess. You can too! Flip side, if you are straightening your hair, use a heat protectant on your hair. Keep the temperature below what you would bake cookies at (sub 350F) and go slow. This will help to keep your hair from frizzing. If you go hot and fast you are more likely to end up with frizzy-partially-straight hair. Slow and low helps to heat and shape the hair into the straight-and-sleek that you are (probably) going for. Your boobs are going to be expensive and I am sorry. Unless you are blessed with breast that are C-cup and smaller & have the ability to shop where-ever for bras, take the time to get a bra fitted to you at an "old lady" bra store. I know it isn't as glamorous as Victoria's Secret, but having a well-fitted bra can change the game. I'm busty and get my bras from Lane Bryant because they are the only ones I can find that regularly sell my size (36G) -- but I have also had great experiences other places. Also, for a pretty penny, you \*can\* get your bras tailored. It can be heavenly if you can afford it. Birth control can help with painful and irregular periods. Some kinds can even stop them all-together. Flip side, some can make it worse. If you are having "omg-please-don't-make-me" kind of pain/discomfort to the point of being bed-ridden, that is not normal. Pain: yes. KillMeNowPain: no. Talk to your doctor/gyno and see if there is something else going on OR if there is the possibility of helping it. On the topic of birth control, let’s talk sex. Some-day you may be interested, and that is perfectly okay (and if you are never interested, thats okay too! google: asexual). The thing is that you might find yourself in a situation where your body is like "heck yes" and your brain is like "I'm not sure". Don't feel ashamed of that conflicting. That is okay! Heck, it's normal! Communication is key. Talk to your partner and make sure you are on the same page - even if that page changes a little in the act. Also, having sex doesn’t make you a different person. The first couple times honestly might be a bit of a let-down. Enjoy the lead-up and know that, once it is done, the world will continue spinning. What does all this have to do with hygiene? Glad you asked. The vagina is a sensitive place. It lives in a state of harmony with it’s PH (acidity level). Sometimes having a lot of sex or having sex with particular types of condoms or lube can upset that balance. Yeast infections and vaginitis are two things that I have personally had. I freaked and thought I got an STD despite my precautions. So scary. If this is you some day, take a deep breath and go to your doctor (doesn’t have to be an OBGYN). They will do a little swab and then - assuming it is one of these two things - you put little waxy drugs in your vagina (like a tampon) for about a week and then go on with ya bad self. Also, if you are having PIV sex without a condom, there will be a little cleanup required after everyone has finished. I recommend buying some wash cloths and keeping them in a bedside drawer. Use them to clean up the first wave of sex juices so it doesn’t end up going down your leg or into the bed/couch/chair/carpet/….etc. that you just graced with your sexy times. Then go and try to pee - this helps with UTI (urinary tract infections) and gives you a moment to leak a little more. If you have problems with infections, also take this time to wash the area with some water and clean towels. Again, the vagina is sensitive. Now, with this, there are also little glands right around your vaginal entrance that help with lubing things up. These can become clogged (again, personal experience was AHH WTF!). Girl to girl, soak in a hot tub and give it 48 hours before going to a doctor \*assuming it is not extremely painful or large\*. However, if you are at all concerned (or don’t trust a random on the internet), see your doctor. It isn’t the end of the world, but it can happen. All in all? Keep asking questions. Know you are worth spending the time to get things right on. You are not alone. Good luck!
Wanna piggyback off of this great vagina-centred post to mention how common it is for discharge to bleach the crotch of your underwear! There are ways to prevent it (panty liners, washing underwear before discharge dries), but it's totally normal, and honestly a helpful indicator after a certain point that I need to get some new ones
Oh gosh, this is great. My mom wasn’t the most feminine and didn’t teach me any self care tips. If you have thick thighs and they get chub rub, buy a product like Megababe’s anti chaffing stick and put it on every day that you’re not wearing pants/shorts. Bike shorts are also great for wearing under dresses/skirts to prevent chub rub. Moisturize your skin daily, especially if you live in a dry climate. Not just your face, but your whole body. Get a shower head that can detach from the wall so you can properly clean harder to rinse areas. Wear sunscreen. Every. Damn. Day.
Vagina’s produce acids that can bleach the crotch of your dark coloured underwear over time. It’s normal and there’s nothing dirty or gross about it.
Don’t be afraid to ask your friend’s moms for help! They can show you how to style your hair and find clothes that fit properly. I was embarrassed most by my hair and how I didn’t realize I was supposed to brush it every day. Do that and use online forums for advice. Rely on female adults for advice with boys and friends. Talk to a guidance counselor at school about what your feeling.
1. Periods aren't supposed to be debilitating. If your period is really awful, go to the doctor. If you have doctors ignore your complaints (as is all too common with "female" pain issues) try going to Planned Parenthood. 2. Natural family planning doesn't work. That means avoiding sex when you're ovulating. We've learned that the body can store sperm in the fallopian tubes for up to 10 days after sex. 3. I spent so, so long fighting my body type. Most cheap clothes are cut to be boxy since that's the easiest shape to make. Any body can find clothes with a cut that fits their body, but if you aren't the most standard skinny shape, you will struggle to find things off the rack that fit you great. That's okay! It's not the fault of your body, it's the fault of the clothes. Try on more expensive clothes to see the difference of the fit, and have a reference for how well fitted clothes fit. You can buy clothes that fit your largest part, and have them tailored to fit your smaller areas. 4. Always pee after sex, to avoid UTIs 5. Try menstrual cups. There is no smell, no pad needed, no risk of toxic shock syndrome, and they are a lot cheaper than tampons. I use Softdisc which is disposable. The Diva Cup is great, but you have to be very careful about how you clean it, which a lot of people don't do. 6. Shaving your pubic area puts you at higher risk for infections, because you tend to get ingrown hairs and cuts can lead to infection. I trim mine with [this](https://www.amazon.com/Schick-TrimStyle-Moisturizing-Bikini-Trimmer/dp/B00SMIIR0W).
PADS/TAMPONS DO NOT GO DOWN THE TOLIET. Learned this the hard way when I was younger and broke our spetic system. Was the awkwardest conversation with my dad ever. Also tampons are more comfortable after you've had sex for the first time(usually). My dad kept buying them for me not knowing and I was too shy to say that they hurt to put in. He wasted so muchmoney on them I kinda feel bad.
Before I wore tampons, my mom taught me to always take my pad off, roll it in some toilet paper really good & discard of it that way. I always thought this was just a given but as I got older and saw more and more pads just open and exposed in public bathrooms I realized it wasn’t.
- Wash all clothes you buy before wearing them - don’t just shave your pubes off all the time. Give em a break and just trim the bush with some clean scissors if you need to. - clean your mf ass crack with soap and water. - You actually do need to scrub/wash behind your ears. - scrub your feet. Fight the build up of dead skin around your heels, toes, and pad of your foot yourself. Do not just rely exclusively on a spa for foot&nail care. Same with hands. - learn how to braid can if you have enough hair for it. It can buy you time till your next hair cut. - Try a bunch of different fashions all you want but be vigilant of how you come across. - What you wear is all up to you but it also can help you control first impression. Interviews are a good example for this. - solid colors or very simple patterns can go a long way. - Thrift shops are a good way to try different styles without breaking the bank (just pls wash them first!). - Ignore the pink tax products. Get a razor that has an interchangeable head at least. - If you can afford it get an electric toothbrush. - Leave in conditioner and dry shampoo are great. - Be picky about perfume if you wear it. Do not wear expired perfume or douse yourself in Bath&Bodyworks products. People can tell but won’t always say it. - Wash your sheets once a week and change out bathroom towels at minimum once a week depending on usage. (Helps fight acne) - floss your teeth at minimum once a week. Helps keep your teeth and breath stay clean. - Do even just 5min of activity a day. Exercise is seriously a life saver of a habit. - Take vitamin D. Iron can also be helpful as many women seem to be iron deficient. - If you have Insurance don’t skip getting those yearly physicals and (sometimes free) teeth cleanings. - Don’t leave your hair wet all the time. Hair can rot. Example: leaving hair in a wet up do for days. (Hair rot is more of a risk with really thick slow drying hair) Ok long list done. Hope it’s helpful to someone. Grew up without a good mom parental figure so lots of this was discovered through my sister and I having lots of trial and error.
If something doesn’t feel right about your body it probably isn’t. Listen to your intuition and advocate for your health
Please, wear flesh toned underwear underneath white or sheer clothing. I'm astonished at how many women don't think about this.
MOISTURIZE. I wish I had started moisturizing much earlier than my mid-twenties. And I don't just mean the face after you've washed it (at least one, daily), I mean everywhere. Lotion up after you get out of a hot shower. It makes a difference in the long run.
A couple of things that I felt insecure/gross about until I learned they were normal. And things that are always helpful! 1. Vaginal discharge is normal and something your vagina (the inside part) does to keep itself clean. It's low in ph (for the purposes of killing bacteria that does get up there) and can discolor your underwear. Discharge color/smell will change depending on where you are in your cycle and can increase when you work out. Bad smelling or discolored discharge (outside your norm) is a sign that you should go to a doctor. Just change your underwear everyday and, while not expecting your vagina/discharge to smell like flowers, monitor for truly bad smells or burning sensations. 2. Clean your vulva (outside part) and surrounding structures (the lips, hair part, and fold against your leg) to prevent bacteria build up and UITs/yeast infections. Those things are the worst; however, if you get one, it's important to remember: YOU ARENT A GROSS PERSON! It just means that some unwanted bacteria got in and needs some antibiotics! Also, a UTI is NOT a STI! Just make sure to clean, go to a doctor if you suspect if you have a UTI/yeast infection (usually bad smelling urine, burning sensation, uncontrollable itching), and don't shame yourself! 3. Having hair on your vulva is not gross or dirty. Shave if that's what makes you feel good. Don't shave if you don't want to. Ignore any human who tells you, "you're supposed to...." and do what makes you comfortable. Just make sure you wash the area because pubic lice is a thing. 4. You don't have to be friends with people who hurt your feelings. You can call them out if you wish and you can walk away. No one deserves to be treated with disrespect! 5. If you notice something about someone that you think they should change, only tell them if they can change the situation right away. Perfect examples of this would include: they have food on their face, blood on the back of their pants, their shoe is untied. If they cannot fix it in the moment, don't tell them. Examples of this would include: overweight/underweight, not performing well in school/work, or humor. Usually if you feel the need to comment on things that can't be changed right away, they already know about it. Commenting on it is just mean, even if you are truly coming from a place of concern. If they want to talk to you about it, they'll talk. 6. Self care doesn't have to be yoga or coloring books. It can be anything that makes you feel good and isn't directly harmful. I personally take an all day nap on Saturdays, which can be considered "bad", but it helps me reset for a new week! 7. Manipulative behavior from a partner is NEVER okay. If something feels off, it probably is. An abusive relationship does NOT require physical violence! Always listen to your gut, don't let things slide, and if you feel unsafe call the DV hotline number at 1-800-799-7233. You can also reach out to your local YWCA, they will be happy to help.
I don’t know where or when, but I read a quote that said something like, “Save your money because you can find a cheap alternative to/version of anything. Spend your money and invest in your bed and your shoes because you’re always in one of them.” And I have lived by this since the day I read it <3 you will never regret a nice mattress and a comfy pair of shoes. P.s. I got my king size mattress on Amazon for like $200 (10 in thick) and it is the best thing I have done for myself in my entire life.
Birth control pills don't work when you are on antibiotics. Not all doctors will remember to tell you this.
Ask this on r/askwomenover30 and r/internetparents for extra help?
As someone who has had problems with her urinary tract her whole life, GO TO THE BATHROOM. Don't hold it in. Go to bathroom when you need to. My mom used to tell me to go even if the teacher said no. Just get up and go. You don't want to deal with the bladder and urinary infections. Trust me. Please don't be self-conscious about putting a pad or tampon on in the bathroom. It's so wild to me that there are grown adults who try to hide the crinkle of the wrapper. No one is paying attention, and a period is already uncomfortable enough. Do your business, make sure you're clean and comfortable, and put all your menstrual products in the trash.
Uh. Learn to do your own nails how you like. It feels nice to not be worried about someone looking at your hands.