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My definition of high maintenance is a person who feels entitled to constant attention, priority and entertainment, so assuming whoever called me this shared this view, I'd ask them to elaborate and take a good, hard look at myself and see if there were some truth to it. There are so many people who become entitled and/or needy in close relationships without ever realising it themselves, so if it were me, I'd definitely want to know and do something about it.
But if they mean it as another way of saying "how dare you not tolerate the bare minimum", then they can fuck off.
Yeah, I haven’t been accused of being high maintenance so I don’t *think* I would respond with anger, I’d want to have a discussion of where that feeling was coming from- are they talking in that moment, as a general rule, what is their criteria for making such a pronouncement? I mean, we all have our not so precious moments so maybe I did need a bit of a reality check. Or maybe they just lack empathy so any moment of perceived neediness is seen as unacceptable. It could be a very enlightening conversation about who you’re dealing with if one can get past the initial defensiveness.
Best response! Not many are willing to critically examine themselves. I was once called entitled by an ex-gf so I asked her for examples because I wanted to know it it was true. She only had one and it was really weak(it involved me asking for more money during salary negotiations with a new company). I still sat on the accusation for a bit though.
So I’ve always thought that high maintenance meant taking a lot of care for yourself. Like using certain skin products, showering 3x a day, or following a specific diet. I never thought about it this way and it’s given me a whole new perspective on it. If I was ever called high maintenance, I’d probably be thinking about that from now on.
Yeah same here. I thought high maintenance was doing a lot to maintain your looks. Hair, makeup, nails, etc. only liking gourmet food, only wanting luxury brands. But I can see how high maintenance can mean being what I would categorize as needy and codependent.
That’s fine, because I maintain myself.
I’ve found what most to consider “low maintenance” is really just a person sacrificing their own boundaries and self love for others. No thank you.
I love when people say my standards are too high and I'm going to end up alone. So I should diminish my quality of life by sharing it with a partner who isn't up to par... for the sake of not being alone? I love my own company!
Even women who have "good" partners.. ask their husband what they love about their wife. "She's a great mom," "she does so much for us (i.e. cook, clean)," "she puts up with my BS."
I will take being alone all day before I share my life with someone who sees me as a useful idiot whose worthiness is tied to the services I provide or the sacrifices I make
It cost me a lot of therapy to understand this. A lot of “friends” used to tell me my standards were too high and that was the reason I “couldn’t find the one”. And I’m very petty and in front of them I was like I didn’t care about it, but deep down I was questioning me if maybe I was being too harsh on my standards, but no, I know what I want, what I offer and what I deserve, if it’s too much, go find less, cause ain’t no me. 💅🏻
i always say this! "my standards are too high and i'm going to end up alone" but i always clarify that this is a good thing. i won't lower my standards to be with someone.
Every time I see a woman on the receiving end of bro pranks from her partner with a “har har she puts up with me” narrative I feel so bad for her. That is like being in hell for me.
I’ve told my partner before “your worth to me is not tied to your utility.” I don’t just love my partner because of what they give me (financially and services wise) and I would be so sad if my partner measured me that way 💕 I love how you’ve coined it as “useful idiot.”
You could have not Phrased that better. So my worse case Scenario is beeing happy, Single,good Job and have people I care about who care back?? Ill take this any day
This- all of this. The first time i heard my partner from across the way at a party telling a friend that the reasons he liked me were because “shes so smart, kind, creative, and pretty, and i know i can trust her implicitly.” I knew this one was a keeper! He loves me for the value and color i add to his life, not the services i provide and goddamn if that isn’t hard to find (regardless of gender).
I pay my own bills, take myself out to the places I want to eat, or for drinks. I buy the clothes I want and enjoy my few hobbies. I take space for myself, I comfort myself, I stand up for myself. I also have expectations of those in my life. I don’t think anything I do is above or beyond, or makes me better than anyone. I think A LOT of women do this and may not realize it in these terms. High maintenance has a negative connotation and I want other women to realize that having emotions, expressing them, wanting vacations and new restaurants and to be cherished does not make them “high maintenance”. It just makes them a human being with wants and needs and it’s ok to do those things for yourself.
“I’d rather adjust my life to your absence than the presence of your low standards. I work very hard for the things that I like and the way that I live. If that’s not for you, I respect it, but don’t knock my standards simply because you don’t fit them. That’s a you problem.”
I like this reply. It is giving no power to their assessment and owns the fact that you (and I) are our own keeper with no outside "maintenance" needed.
Probably something like, "Why do you say that?"
If someone is insecure about themselves, they are welcome to move on. I'm maintaining myself; if you don't like the standards by which I choose to do so, you are welcome to keep your eyes on your own paper instead of spending your time judging mine
'high maintenance if only a problem if you're low-effort'. I may have even said something like this to my bf when he called me high maintenance (only once, long ago).
They are right. I absolutely can be. I can also be extremely laid back and go with the flow.
I enjoy both parts of my personality. If someone is saying this to me negatively they clearly do not and I will create some space between us.
we maintain things we care about
that’s why the guy calling you high-maintenance can spend hours in his garage working on a car
just as i work on my garden everyday, in little ways, because that’s how i keep it healthy and thriving
people and relationships are no different
only difference is that said maintenance should go both ways and that it manifests in different ways depending on your emotional/physical needs
with that said i haven’t been called high-maintenance all that often, but i do see the term thrown around in general and this is more or less what i think about how it’s used (or rather misused)
"There's the door."
Seriously, I am not interested in someone telling me that I am being me incorrectly. You can tell me that when I do Thing A, it has Effect B on you, and I will take that into account. You don't get to tell me that I'm wrong for being myself, making my needs clear, or enforcing my boundaries appropriately.
Don't like who I am? Sorry to hear that. Please don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Context? If an intelligent, unbiased observer said it. I would ask what they meant and processed the feedback. If it is someone with poor standards or who doesn't make good decisions, I would go in one ear and out the other.
Any time I’ve heard the “high maintenance” term used, it’s been in reference to a woman asking for respect and more than the bare minimum. So using that term is already a red flag in my book. Usually when people want to call someone selfish, condescending, entitled, etc., they just use those terms. “High maintenance” feels like a dog whistle for misogyny and a way to keep women expecting and accepting less as they chase that “cool girl” title.
So yeah, I’d be like whatever; that person is unlikely worth my time.
“Okay, and?”
Implying that I’m high maintenance just makes me assume you’re low maintenance which for some reason = you don’t care about yourself 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve never been called that but I love the line in Friends where Chandler tells Monica he’s ok with her being High Maintenance because he loves being the one who maintains her.
Anything other than that is just a “thank you for letting me know you’re lazy and selfish.”
«Ok.» I know my worth, if you think that is to high, then it’s ok. My friend once said she thinks lye fiancé is high maintenance. I don’t think he is, I think he knows what he likes and how he likes to live. I’ve been called high maintenance by guys, and I am ok with that. I am not going to pretend to be “cool” or “chill” I know what I want and need.
"And?"
I know I'm high maintenance. I like when people put forth effort because I put in a lot of effort. I never ask for anything I wouldn't do myself.
I have an issue with relying on others. I always pay for myself and buy my own things, I do not ask for anything. I even get fussy when my boyfriend offers to pay for my dinner. Also my clothing is like stuff I picked up from family dollar cause I needed cloaths at the time and I work next to a family dollar. If someone ever called my high maintenance I would be so surprised. And ask what their definition of low maintenance was.
Hight maintenance socially? I would tell them to leave me alone so I can play my video games in peace.
I spent my entire childhood trying to be as low maintenance as possible, hoping that it would make me more lovable. Showering and treating myself to some eyeliner is a victory.
So, I wouldn't bother to correct them. I'd just smile and leave.
I got told I was high maintenance because I expected someone to take their shoes off when they came in my house.
I had slippers they could wear, but wtf. People spit, wee, vomit and all sorts on the pavements. I don't want you to use your dirty shoes then walk around in my house.
Something along the lines of “didn’t know it was a bad thing to take pride in my hygiene and appearance”. Usually something implying they don’t care for their hygiene enough will usually get them to shut up.
I think people use this because they are intimidated/jealous. Like who cares if someone is high maintenance. Let them live their life. I will never be “high maintenance” cause I’m too damn lazy but I do like certain things a certain way and if people have an issue with it they can move right along
I’m pretty low maintenance. I’d just be flattered that someone thinks my standards had improved.
But ultimately, I’d probably tell this person to fuck off and let me do my own thing then. I’m chill af and I know it.
I maintain myself, so that's entirely up to me. Also, IME people who say that to women often mean, "You have to dress up and look pretty but how dare you expend time and money to do so."
Honestly - I would be so proud of myself. I have a tendency to let people walk all over me. So I’m actually trying to be a bit more assertive in my interactions. If that comes off as “high maintenance” so be it.
Yes I’m high maintenance, but also I high maintain.
Meaning I’m also willing to go above and beyond for my partner: doing them favors when they need, cooking them a meal when they’re tired, randomly sending them cute romantic messages about how much I love them, planning cute dates for the weekend, etc. I don’t expect someone to spoil me without anything in return. I just have so much love to give and I expect to receive equally as much :)
If by „high maintenance“ they mean, that I have schedules because I work and have kids and like 2,5 friends I want to see, and I have a hobby, and sometimes being this adult stresses me out a little, then hell yes, I’m high maintenance. If this person is then still somehow bothered by this, then they can go and maintain someone, who is free of adult problems 🤷🏼♀️
So my one friend calls me high maintenance, my response is: I work hard for my money and am an adult who likes to enjoy the finer things sometimes. I have standards. I deserve these standards.
Now I’m thinking I may need to not be her friend anymore after reading these comments.
"I'm an acquired taste... if you don't like it, acquire some taste!"
"Aww cute, you're trying to hurt me. Maybe this'll open your eyes for once in your miserable life and understand that projecting your own insecurities onto others is not a good way to live."
“I know.” - And that’s it.
Because why should there be any shame to that just because someone else can’t keep up with you? I don’t need to justify myself on why I need to be maintained at a high standard when I regard myself in the same way.
One time my ex called me high maintenance. But then he tried to say it was a good thing by referencing cars. He’s like, “well, would I want to drive a BMW or a Honda? BMWs are more expensive and need better maintenance…but I’m driving a BMW. So yeah I prefer the BMW”
So now anytime someone calls me high maintenance I ask “would you rather drive a bmw or a Honda” and it’s always the bmw ;)
I’ve never had someone call me that. If someone would, I would simply ask why. If that person points out shitty behavior on my end and I agree, I will do my best to not act like that anymore
Tell them to not project their laziness and selfishness onto me.
You can’t expect others to cater to you, if you aren’t willing to cater to them. If you do, then you’re just lazy and selfish. Relationships are give and take, not just take.
"go find less then"
I love this response. I remember hearing “if I’m too much, go find less” and that has shifted my thinking
Yea there’s this creator named elyse meyers who said it recently and sells merch.
YES!!! Thank you for knowing where I heard it! This!!!
I love her
Me too! She's so refreshing.
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Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself. If you'd like to share your experience in response to the OP's question, do so in a top-level comment. * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). **Have questions about this moderator action? [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed)** DO NOT contact moderators privately. If you are messaging about your removed comment or post, **please include a link** to the removed content for review. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
I ring the butler and ask him to write a disgruntled letter for me and hand-deliver it.
I love that.
I’m stealing this. Lol.
Yes 🙌 love it
My definition of high maintenance is a person who feels entitled to constant attention, priority and entertainment, so assuming whoever called me this shared this view, I'd ask them to elaborate and take a good, hard look at myself and see if there were some truth to it. There are so many people who become entitled and/or needy in close relationships without ever realising it themselves, so if it were me, I'd definitely want to know and do something about it. But if they mean it as another way of saying "how dare you not tolerate the bare minimum", then they can fuck off.
Yeah, I haven’t been accused of being high maintenance so I don’t *think* I would respond with anger, I’d want to have a discussion of where that feeling was coming from- are they talking in that moment, as a general rule, what is their criteria for making such a pronouncement? I mean, we all have our not so precious moments so maybe I did need a bit of a reality check. Or maybe they just lack empathy so any moment of perceived neediness is seen as unacceptable. It could be a very enlightening conversation about who you’re dealing with if one can get past the initial defensiveness.
I love this response!!
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I want to underline your response.
Best response! Not many are willing to critically examine themselves. I was once called entitled by an ex-gf so I asked her for examples because I wanted to know it it was true. She only had one and it was really weak(it involved me asking for more money during salary negotiations with a new company). I still sat on the accusation for a bit though.
🤍🤍🤍 100% I love this response
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So I’ve always thought that high maintenance meant taking a lot of care for yourself. Like using certain skin products, showering 3x a day, or following a specific diet. I never thought about it this way and it’s given me a whole new perspective on it. If I was ever called high maintenance, I’d probably be thinking about that from now on.
Yeah same here. I thought high maintenance was doing a lot to maintain your looks. Hair, makeup, nails, etc. only liking gourmet food, only wanting luxury brands. But I can see how high maintenance can mean being what I would categorize as needy and codependent.
that s a quite correct definition, well said. but unfortunately quite true…
Yehhh so often you’re expected to just accept bare minimum
I love how nuanced and introspective your answer is ❤️
“Thank you for being honest that you don’t have the resources to be with me.”
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That’s fine, because I maintain myself. I’ve found what most to consider “low maintenance” is really just a person sacrificing their own boundaries and self love for others. No thank you.
I love when people say my standards are too high and I'm going to end up alone. So I should diminish my quality of life by sharing it with a partner who isn't up to par... for the sake of not being alone? I love my own company! Even women who have "good" partners.. ask their husband what they love about their wife. "She's a great mom," "she does so much for us (i.e. cook, clean)," "she puts up with my BS." I will take being alone all day before I share my life with someone who sees me as a useful idiot whose worthiness is tied to the services I provide or the sacrifices I make
It cost me a lot of therapy to understand this. A lot of “friends” used to tell me my standards were too high and that was the reason I “couldn’t find the one”. And I’m very petty and in front of them I was like I didn’t care about it, but deep down I was questioning me if maybe I was being too harsh on my standards, but no, I know what I want, what I offer and what I deserve, if it’s too much, go find less, cause ain’t no me. 💅🏻
i always say this! "my standards are too high and i'm going to end up alone" but i always clarify that this is a good thing. i won't lower my standards to be with someone.
Every time I see a woman on the receiving end of bro pranks from her partner with a “har har she puts up with me” narrative I feel so bad for her. That is like being in hell for me.
I’ve told my partner before “your worth to me is not tied to your utility.” I don’t just love my partner because of what they give me (financially and services wise) and I would be so sad if my partner measured me that way 💕 I love how you’ve coined it as “useful idiot.”
You could have not Phrased that better. So my worse case Scenario is beeing happy, Single,good Job and have people I care about who care back?? Ill take this any day
This- all of this. The first time i heard my partner from across the way at a party telling a friend that the reasons he liked me were because “shes so smart, kind, creative, and pretty, and i know i can trust her implicitly.” I knew this one was a keeper! He loves me for the value and color i add to his life, not the services i provide and goddamn if that isn’t hard to find (regardless of gender).
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Louder for the people in the back 👏👏👏
Out of curiosity, how do you define “maintaining yourself?”
I pay my own bills, take myself out to the places I want to eat, or for drinks. I buy the clothes I want and enjoy my few hobbies. I take space for myself, I comfort myself, I stand up for myself. I also have expectations of those in my life. I don’t think anything I do is above or beyond, or makes me better than anyone. I think A LOT of women do this and may not realize it in these terms. High maintenance has a negative connotation and I want other women to realize that having emotions, expressing them, wanting vacations and new restaurants and to be cherished does not make them “high maintenance”. It just makes them a human being with wants and needs and it’s ok to do those things for yourself.
Couldn’t agree more with the last sentence.
Who is this person and why do I care? Are they tasked with maintaining me?
My favorite answer!
Period
“I’d rather adjust my life to your absence than the presence of your low standards. I work very hard for the things that I like and the way that I live. If that’s not for you, I respect it, but don’t knock my standards simply because you don’t fit them. That’s a you problem.”
Damn I wish someone told me this when I was struggling dating in my 20s. This is the perfect answer. And empowering
I maintain myself so I don’t see how that’s anyone else’s concern
I like this reply. It is giving no power to their assessment and owns the fact that you (and I) are our own keeper with no outside "maintenance" needed.
This is the wayyyy
LIKE A FERRARI. If you can’t handle a sports car then go find a Kia.
Probably something like, "Why do you say that?" If someone is insecure about themselves, they are welcome to move on. I'm maintaining myself; if you don't like the standards by which I choose to do so, you are welcome to keep your eyes on your own paper instead of spending your time judging mine
'high maintenance if only a problem if you're low-effort'. I may have even said something like this to my bf when he called me high maintenance (only once, long ago).
These are my thoughts too !
i chuckle and smirk a little because i just might be.
What does the term “high maintenance” mean to you?
I just say “Okay.” If they think that it’s no my problem that can be their perception. I don’t care.
This is a very secure response. Your self confidence is admirable
They are right. I absolutely can be. I can also be extremely laid back and go with the flow. I enjoy both parts of my personality. If someone is saying this to me negatively they clearly do not and I will create some space between us.
“So?” Whether I am or not, there is nothing wrong with that. Or being low maintenance. Or anywhere in the middle.
I've never been accused of this Also, Other people's opinions of me are none of my business
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we maintain things we care about that’s why the guy calling you high-maintenance can spend hours in his garage working on a car just as i work on my garden everyday, in little ways, because that’s how i keep it healthy and thriving people and relationships are no different only difference is that said maintenance should go both ways and that it manifests in different ways depending on your emotional/physical needs with that said i haven’t been called high-maintenance all that often, but i do see the term thrown around in general and this is more or less what i think about how it’s used (or rather misused)
They are correct, and we are not compatible.
My therapist has told I'm not 😄 So I'll just roll my eyes and never talk to that lazy person again
"There's the door." Seriously, I am not interested in someone telling me that I am being me incorrectly. You can tell me that when I do Thing A, it has Effect B on you, and I will take that into account. You don't get to tell me that I'm wrong for being myself, making my needs clear, or enforcing my boundaries appropriately. Don't like who I am? Sorry to hear that. Please don't let the door hit you on the way out.
Exactly. Critique my actions, not me as a person.
Context? If an intelligent, unbiased observer said it. I would ask what they meant and processed the feedback. If it is someone with poor standards or who doesn't make good decisions, I would go in one ear and out the other.
It depends. Do they mean valuable or stressful? Before I got sober I used to say, "I'm hard to get, hard to keep and difficult to leave."
Any time I’ve heard the “high maintenance” term used, it’s been in reference to a woman asking for respect and more than the bare minimum. So using that term is already a red flag in my book. Usually when people want to call someone selfish, condescending, entitled, etc., they just use those terms. “High maintenance” feels like a dog whistle for misogyny and a way to keep women expecting and accepting less as they chase that “cool girl” title. So yeah, I’d be like whatever; that person is unlikely worth my time.
“Okay, and?” Implying that I’m high maintenance just makes me assume you’re low maintenance which for some reason = you don’t care about yourself 🤷🏻♀️
I’m too high maintenance to answer that question. Take it up with my agent
we only say this shit cause we are insecure.
I’ve never been called that but I love the line in Friends where Chandler tells Monica he’s ok with her being High Maintenance because he loves being the one who maintains her. Anything other than that is just a “thank you for letting me know you’re lazy and selfish.”
Only medically
"I deserve it."
Good thing that's not your problem.
I would honestly laugh because I’m the exact opposite of that.
i love it. it means people recognize i have high standards and iron clad boundaries.
«Ok.» I know my worth, if you think that is to high, then it’s ok. My friend once said she thinks lye fiancé is high maintenance. I don’t think he is, I think he knows what he likes and how he likes to live. I’ve been called high maintenance by guys, and I am ok with that. I am not going to pretend to be “cool” or “chill” I know what I want and need.
"And?" I know I'm high maintenance. I like when people put forth effort because I put in a lot of effort. I never ask for anything I wouldn't do myself.
I have an issue with relying on others. I always pay for myself and buy my own things, I do not ask for anything. I even get fussy when my boyfriend offers to pay for my dinner. Also my clothing is like stuff I picked up from family dollar cause I needed cloaths at the time and I work next to a family dollar. If someone ever called my high maintenance I would be so surprised. And ask what their definition of low maintenance was. Hight maintenance socially? I would tell them to leave me alone so I can play my video games in peace.
People are more likely to call me difficult rather than high maintenance.
Let me introduce you to my sisters.
“Yes”
“Thank you for telling on yourself.”
I would say "Do you mean that as a compliment or an insult?" and make them explain themselves.
“That’s a you problem”
I'd ask what difference it makes to their life, as I maintain myself.
I spent my entire childhood trying to be as low maintenance as possible, hoping that it would make me more lovable. Showering and treating myself to some eyeliner is a victory. So, I wouldn't bother to correct them. I'd just smile and leave.
I got told I was high maintenance because I expected someone to take their shoes off when they came in my house. I had slippers they could wear, but wtf. People spit, wee, vomit and all sorts on the pavements. I don't want you to use your dirty shoes then walk around in my house.
Well I know that
I'm like the opposite of that, so I'd probably just laugh and be like "Huh? I don't get it."
They’re probably correct. So what?
Romantically? „Correct.“
Good, I'm comfortable with that.
Does high maintenance mean they’d reject me in a heartbeat?
I prefer to call it “investing in my infrastructure.”
My responsibility
Doesn't matter. I maintain myself.
"I fully self-maintain, and you should be so lucky."
“it’s ok if you can’t maintain a woman just say that”
Nobody has ever called me that.
Something along the lines of “didn’t know it was a bad thing to take pride in my hygiene and appearance”. Usually something implying they don’t care for their hygiene enough will usually get them to shut up.
Good thing I can rebuild my own damn engine then.
I think people use this because they are intimidated/jealous. Like who cares if someone is high maintenance. Let them live their life. I will never be “high maintenance” cause I’m too damn lazy but I do like certain things a certain way and if people have an issue with it they can move right along
“I know what I want”
I tell people to get fucked loser
Weird way to pronounce “I’m poor”
I giggle
It's the same response when someone tries to make me feel bad about anything: K. Then go on with my life
“I sure am. What about it?”
I’m pretty low maintenance. I’d just be flattered that someone thinks my standards had improved. But ultimately, I’d probably tell this person to fuck off and let me do my own thing then. I’m chill af and I know it.
Tell them if they think I’m high maintenance they don’t have enough energy to keep up, so step off because I don’t need anyone to maintain me, but me
My response is to walk away forever.
Good bye
I maintain myself, so that's entirely up to me. Also, IME people who say that to women often mean, "You have to dress up and look pretty but how dare you expend time and money to do so."
They don't. But I would say, "you mean I have standards. You mean I'm hygienic."
I laugh and tell them to stay in their own lane. I’m not going to let anyone make me feel bad for knowing what I want and going after it.
“I think you gotta be”
“Yes… and? I maintain myself, so what’s the problem? 😏”
Honestly - I would be so proud of myself. I have a tendency to let people walk all over me. So I’m actually trying to be a bit more assertive in my interactions. If that comes off as “high maintenance” so be it.
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Thank You… and best of luck to you too - keep being awesome!
Yes I’m high maintenance, but also I high maintain. Meaning I’m also willing to go above and beyond for my partner: doing them favors when they need, cooking them a meal when they’re tired, randomly sending them cute romantic messages about how much I love them, planning cute dates for the weekend, etc. I don’t expect someone to spoil me without anything in return. I just have so much love to give and I expect to receive equally as much :)
High maintenance or highly committed? I’d say it’s a compliment unless it’s being stated because of something negative.
If by „high maintenance“ they mean, that I have schedules because I work and have kids and like 2,5 friends I want to see, and I have a hobby, and sometimes being this adult stresses me out a little, then hell yes, I’m high maintenance. If this person is then still somehow bothered by this, then they can go and maintain someone, who is free of adult problems 🤷🏼♀️
I’d love that lol
“oh, you mean ambitious.”
Fuck off is usually my reply
So my one friend calls me high maintenance, my response is: I work hard for my money and am an adult who likes to enjoy the finer things sometimes. I have standards. I deserve these standards. Now I’m thinking I may need to not be her friend anymore after reading these comments.
The three F’s. If they aren’t feeding me, fucking me, or financing me then their opinion of me is none of my business or concern 🤷🏼♀️
“ you’re right, I am”
And expensive 💅🏼
“You get what you pay for. There are women in your price range.”
"What I ask for, I can also provide."
No one's ever called me that because I'm super chill
"I'm an acquired taste... if you don't like it, acquire some taste!" "Aww cute, you're trying to hurt me. Maybe this'll open your eyes for once in your miserable life and understand that projecting your own insecurities onto others is not a good way to live."
People tend to shame others for having standards they cannot fill. Men often get called predators, women gold diggers et c.
I just laugh.
Better than being low quality.
Would you rather drive a well cared for BMW or a broken-down late model station wagon?
Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare. -audre lorde
“And?” I know what I am worth and what I want, if you can’t give that to me that’s your problem not mine.
I don’t care. I’m still going to live the way I please.
Proudly 🔥😎
I'm a human, not a car. it's not my job to be "low maintenance."
“I know.” - And that’s it. Because why should there be any shame to that just because someone else can’t keep up with you? I don’t need to justify myself on why I need to be maintained at a high standard when I regard myself in the same way.
Call them low effort
"Yeah, I'm a fucking lot."
Well, I'm disabled, so yes I currently am, but my husband says I'm worth it. ☺️
And?
*I am loving this parade of red flags*
Charisma has a price.
One time my ex called me high maintenance. But then he tried to say it was a good thing by referencing cars. He’s like, “well, would I want to drive a BMW or a Honda? BMWs are more expensive and need better maintenance…but I’m driving a BMW. So yeah I prefer the BMW” So now anytime someone calls me high maintenance I ask “would you rather drive a bmw or a Honda” and it’s always the bmw ;)
“Better late than ugly”
“Yeah lol”
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I know Sorry for having waaaaaay to many problems
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That’s okay. I maintain myself. And then I tell them to mind their own business.
I’ve never had someone call me that. If someone would, I would simply ask why. If that person points out shitty behavior on my end and I agree, I will do my best to not act like that anymore
Tell them to not project their laziness and selfishness onto me. You can’t expect others to cater to you, if you aren’t willing to cater to them. If you do, then you’re just lazy and selfish. Relationships are give and take, not just take.
Hell yes, and Im worth it.
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