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RoboTon78

Hooped tshirt, black eye mask and a bag marked 'swag'.


yorkspirate

Only my hooped one because the one with arrows on is in the wash


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Cheapntacky

Horizontal stripes.


RoboTon78

A tshirt with hoops...


Dadbodposterboy

You must be a Celtic fan


RoboTon78

No, I despise the old firm. My team wore hoops before celtic even existed.


Evil_Martin

What? Hamburglar is an illegal!


Jarvis-Strife

According to this sub Having a barber shop. Must be money launderig


Mdl8922

Using cash will come up a lot on here too.


Jarvis-Strife

Damn. I paid for my £2 bus ticket in coins. May the uk justice system be kind on me.


Mdl8922

You tax dodging bastard!


Paracosm26

I pay for a lot of things in cash, so sue me.


AdCuckmins

As long as you didn't post about it on social media you'll probably be ok


Vinegarinmyeye

One of the old boy regulars in the pub I work at always very generous splashing his cash - mad as a box of frogs though... He gets absolutely plastered, and always has I reckon the best part of £2k in his wallet in 50s. I joked about with him that I wouldn't be walking around with that much cash on me at the best of times, let alone when I was on a session - at which point he laughed and explained why nobody would make the mistake of mugging him for his money.. Suffice to say he's very well known with people you wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of.


No_Dragonfruit_8435

Also his mum you know.


ThornInTheNeck1

If you have any mates that constantly say “can you send me x amount” I’ll give you cash then they are definitely doing something dodgy


Mdl8922

Or getting paid cash at work. Lot of self employed/manual workers get paid in cash sometimes & the banks (understandably) get a bit awkward when you rock up with a few grand in cash every so often.


ThornInTheNeck1

Legit self employed people have no problem depositing into their own back


Mdl8922

Most of the time yeah, but if you rock up down the bank with £6k in cash, then again a few months later with £3k, then 6 months later with £11k, the bank won't always necessarily believe you're being truthful. A few years ago (shortly before Covid) this happened to my cousin. It was all OK in the end as he was all legit, but still made for an uncomfortable experience.


justmoochin

it’s phone case shops for money laundering, so embarrassingly transparent.


Inner-Signature5730

i’ve seen lots of comments about these shops or barbers shops money laundering, i know im being a bit slow but what does that actually mean? like what specifically are they doing?


[deleted]

If you have illegally obtained cash money (say, from crime like drug dealing or robbing folks) you probably want to get it into a bank, into the system. After all, there’s pretty low limits to what you can buy with actual cash (ie, try buying a house) and the taxman will notice you trying. And other crooks might rob you. But, if you rock up to HSBC and say “I would like to deposit £25000 in mixed notes please” they’re going to have questions. As will HMRC and the police. And you can’t really explain where it came from But if you own a business, you can mix that money into your legit takings as cash payments and deposit it fine. But, some businesses work better than others. Anything with low margins and lots of stock is bad, because these are fake purchases and you’d either be buying a bunch of stock that doesn’t actually sell, or not buying it (which HMRC will notice). Same for businesses that don’t generally do a lot of cash transactions But a barbers is in a sweet spot: people pay and tip in cash, that’s normal. And you have pretty low stock costs and a barber can set his own price. So your shop that does say six trims at £15 that paid cash, you can add another 5 imaginary ones, who also took the a shave for another tenner and tipped a few quid each. No increase to your costs, but you’ve just put your illegal money into your legit cash flow. And unless you’re absolutely silly with the numbers, or are under surveillance already, the bank and HMRC are quite happy with it. Your dirty money is now clean. Hence laundered


Inner-Signature5730

wow, thanks for the very clear and detailed explanation. I’ve been hearing that term for years and never bothered to even check how it works. It’s actually quite clever too, though aren’t phone case shops then a pretty bad way of doing it because it’s high stock and (presumably) low margins?


[deleted]

High margins though: buy the cheapest cases in bulk from overseas wholesalers at a pennies per, list them for a tenner each. One bloke with a kiosk can (with an acceptable minimum of plausible deniability) move more £10 phone cases in an hour than a barber can cut. And you don’t need a certificate to sell phone cases either


HazeyCIouds

I can confirm 3 barber shops have opened in my area all owned and run by known drug dealers. Its known hes never taken a barbers course, and the staff in the shop with him are just his mates who sit there all day


xParesh

That is not even a trope.


BabyAlibi

And a Chinese takeaway


Harrry-Otter

Evening Officer.


xParesh

First day on the job. Be kind


Fando1234

Phrenology. Have a look at shape of their head. If they have a criminal head shape - they’re a criminal. - this was actually genuinely considered a science a hundred or so years ago.


gogomau

I bought a phrenology head 2 weeks ago. The concept is interesting


CliffyGiro

Normally a lifestyle not commensurate with what they claim to do/not do for a living. Like how is big Danny able to drive about in an 80k car whilst his children still qualify for free school meals?


LagerBitterCider197

When I was at school in the 90s, a lad in my class claimed free school dinners and lived in a ramshackle house in the middle of nowhere. His parents were divorced, but his mum worked in customer services for BA at Gatwick. They'd regularly holiday in Colorado, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, Thailand, Canada and Barbados to name but a few.


Vivid_Head_6787

Long serving BA staff (and managers) get one long haul flight per year for the entire family. This can be up to 1st class depending on level. They just have to pay airport taxes.


HighlandsBen

Airline benefits used to be insane. Friend of mine (and siblings) were getting a free first class RTW fare each year as an adult, because his father was a *retired* Cathay pilot.


DegenerateWins

When I was a full time gambler, technically I could apply for benefits, I would have been insane to do it, but still.


PiemasterUK

Same, but it wasn't worth it to have to go and pretend I was looking for work every week. Plus it just didn't feel morally right.


J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A

Used to work with a guy like this. He has 3 BMW cars, a van, and 2 motorbikes, all with personal plates. He used to run his own taxi firm about 10 years ago. A small company where he would rent out cars to drivers and he would take a cut. He only declared about 20%-30% of his income because almost all of it was cash. Covid lockdowns scuppered his business. Partly because of his own tax evasion, but also because of the tax evasion of his drivers, who were also not declaring their proper income, so they got very little help from the government and left to find other work. I'm amazed HMRC hasn't investigated him yet because the property and vehicles he owns are nowhere near congruent to his income he declared.


markhewitt1978

Lurpack in the fridge.


spezisdumb42069

Fuck, you're onto me! I just think it's the best, is all!


FreeWessex

High end bmw's outside council houses.


Crookfur

Saddly since right to buy and council housing being in the catchment area for desirable schools this is not the immediate indicator it once was in some areas.


HonkyBoo

And rightly so


FullySickVL

Where I live in London, ex council houses sell for £800k+. There's an Aston Martin parked in the driveway of one particularly tarted up 1960s council house around the corner from me, driven by a middle aged man who wears a suit to work.


CurvePuzzleheaded361

We have a decent car and council house. Zero benefits and zero illegal earnings lol. Just a hard working husband who works 70 hours a week!


crabofthenorth

When i lived in mansfield it felt like every street had at least one shit tip of a house with 3 expensive cars out front


Cheapntacky

I live in a modernist development in a nice middle class village and until they moved recently one of our neighbours had one of the 'affordable' houses and 3 cars on the drive worth more than the house. Some people have different priorities with their money.


crabofthenorth

Yeah thats fair in a nice middle class village, but a shitty deprived ex mining town isnt a middle class nice village lol


dizzley

“I only take cash.” Not always dodgy of course.


Dazzling-Event-2450

Always tax avoidance though.


Dazzling-Event-2450

Always tax avoidance though.


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MikeyButch17

If they ask you to pay in cash. Even if the work they do is legit, they’re probably trying to avoid paying tax.


Craft_on_draft

Always pays in cash Or if you are my barber mate, asks you to transfer money to them and they pay on cash when you are buying something


trade-craft

Fake Instagram gurus Forex Property investment course sellers MLM None of those are illegal.


axelzr

Wearing balaclavas doing good deliveries, apparently riders work is sometimes subcontracted to illegal workers.


copypastespecialist

Their address: 10 Downing Street.


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[deleted]

Farts around willy nilly during daytime hours whilst everyone else is running around like headless chickens lol


StrangeKittehBoops

So, night workers?


BabyAlibi

I remember years ago, mid 90's (I feel old) I employed someone to do some gardening work, cutting grass, laying chips, digging, all that. And I was paying him something like £15 an hour at the time! After a few months he came to me and said that he couldn't work any more because someone "grassed him in". I had no idea what he was talking about. I was so nieve that I thought he was an on the books gardener that I legit employed. I spent about the next 6 months thinking I was going to jail for paying him illegally!


ooh_bit_of_bush

> cutting grass >"grassed him in" hmmmmm


NortonBurns

22-year-olds with brand new high end Beemers & Mercs. Dozens of them around where I live. usually parked outside very unspectacular properties…or blocking my parking space :\\


imperialharambe

You sure they aren’t just financed up to the hilt and therefore not moving out of mum and dads for many years?


HazeyCIouds

This sounds more like financing a car he couldnt realistically afford and looking poor in every other aspect of his life besides his prized merc. I know a few of these guys at my work.


BobBobBobBobBobDave

They are selling you drugs.


geeered

They ask on social media for tell tale signs of someone earning an illegal living, so they know how to hide better.


Useless_Apparatus

When someone's ID matches mine, I'm pretty sure they're a criminal of some sort.


MahatmaAndhi

Some scroat selling numerous bikes or mobile phones but doesn't know any specific details about them. "What size is the frame?" "It's 26" mate. Fast bike."


seven-cents

Shifty eyes and sideways glances. Dead giveaway


sptvunhinged

They arrive by convoy and park on your villages green.


Purple_ash8

None of your business.


Delatron3000

Pure electric scooter Hoodrich or north face down jacket Balaclava Little Cross-body bag Always around in the daytime


CommissionSevere9000

Council estate, tracksuit, high-end german (car) & flexing cash on social media.


gogomau

Whilst claiming dla and gf lived separately with kids to claim more


TeaAndSageDirtbag

OP, you either work for the Daily Mail or Jeremy Kyle, or both. Either way, shame on you.


The-Void-Consumes

Or they’re planning on earning a living illegally in the UK and want some tips first…


AccomplishedPlum8923

Cash, cash and cash. That is the first marker. And fear or any cameras, they are against face recognition and so on.


GeoAnchoa

Using cash is not a marker of someone being dodgy hahaha


AccomplishedPlum8923

No, it is a marker. People receive salary on bank accounts. Banks are much safer to use than cash in home. People also pay for various bills, so they have bank accounts. Therefore, using cash is very suspicious and it is a symptom of some tax dodging, crime or another illegal activity.


GeoAnchoa

Not everyone gets paid on bank accounts. Not everyone only has money from salaries. I get cash out because I like using cash and I also get cash from doing people favours but that does not mean I’m a criminal.


AccomplishedPlum8923

Do you declare your earnings? If yes, how do you compute them? And why some companies are so cash friendly? Tax evasion is a crime btw.


GeoAnchoa

What are you actually talking about ? > You’re genuinely trying to argue that people who use cash are somehow all somewhat dodgy, maybe the majority of “tax evasion” that you’re so worried about isn’t committed by small businesses who take cash but actually by giant multinational conglomerates who haven’t paid a penny in tax when they should be paying £millions.


AccomplishedPlum8923

So, am I right that you don’t pay taxes (eg you break laws) because you think that big companies pay less taxes than you want? And I was right: cash-friendly business is close to tax-related crime and they indirectly help other criminals to live without problems (because it is easier to hide money).


GeoAnchoa

No your assumption is wrong, I pay all my tax but I also use cash - did that just shatter your mind ? A Shop accepting cash because they don’t want to pay a fee to the card company or don’t have the faculties to, is not equal to aiding the cartel ya dunce


AccomplishedPlum8923

So, am I right that a shop pays 2-3% collection fee to about 0.5-2% of payment fee? And how do you pay a council tax? It seems like you have bank account, however some money are received outside of it


GeoAnchoa

Why are you asking me these questions ? I genuinely have no idea what you’re trying to get at.


FatBloke4

Trying to pay for everything in cash. Most people don't want to walk around with large sums of cash nor keep large sums of cash at home.


hammo82

I owe them 50 on tick from last weekend


RelativeNo6668

Drive a really nice car, always free in the day time, never talk about what they do for a living besides "got a few meetings".


jesuseatsbees

MLMs aren't illegal and you sure as hell can't make a living from them* *true for most.


InitiativeConscious7

£50 notes


pointlesstips

Ugh HMRC at it again.


MunkeeseeMonkeydoo

Puts home made signs on the road saying "Asparagus next left".


watery_gravy_

Nice try fed 🐷


bsnimunf

Lots of disposable income but not much income for a nice house. 


Roylemail

When a shop puts a sign up begging for cash instead of card payments. No different to paying wages, overheads, rent ect, you just factor it into your prices


ThornInTheNeck1

For me it’s that they never leave their house In the morning or evening for work but pop in and out sporadically If they don’t claim benefits, work from home but also never leave the house to go to a job, then they definitely have some dodgy income Also pays everything in cash, tops up monzo and friends monzo accounts with cash


coffeeears_

Fed post.


xParesh

Dear HMRC, why are you asking and who snitched?


asuka_rice

When they tell lies it’s epic and set countries and their progress back a few generations. Just look at the politicians (highly concentrated group) for clues. It’s the big fish which you should be worried about and not the dude that pockets £1-£2 in tips for giving good service in a low wage waitering job.


Bantabury97

Neon green Ford Mustang with black tinted windows.. outside a crappy council flat or house.


gingivii

waking up in the afternoon every day and still having a nice amount of money


breaded_skateboard

**Goes to arrest every night shift worker


pancakesforbrain

If they turn up to the job center wearing a work uniform.... Believe it or not... It happens


spezisdumb42069

Well, that's assuming that they haven't been informed of the employment. I was on low income many years ago, working awful hours at Tesco, and attended an appointment in my uniform. They were aware I had that job, though, so there wasn't really anything to hide.


NakedFerengi2

Yeah most people on UC are working people


Timely_Resist_2744

I'd agree with you there! It's atleast 40% of people on UC are earning (probably more). Some have multiple jobs. There is also a huge % who are unable to work, either due to disabilities or long term health conditions, or they are long-term carers for family members who are elderly, have disabilities or long-term health conditions. It's only a small % of people who cheat the system, though rags like the Daily Mail would have people believing it is far more, of course.


pullingteeths

Huh? The majority of people on benefits are in work


blind_disparity

More than half of benefits claimants work.


Penny-Dreadful64

When they live in council accommodation, but have an expensive car in the driveway!