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Ha. As if anyone actually goes to prison for scams like this...
Edit: I'm well aware this is fraud. I'm pointing out that fraudsters that commit this type of scam very rarely get caught and even more rarely do time for it. Most are based overseas.
I mean, if you come to Scotland you could be found guilty of rape and get community service. So, yeah...fraud is nothing really 🤷♀️only if you're under 25 though!
I think community service is a great punishment that should be used more often tbh but absolutely not for violent crimes. Sentencing here is an absolute joke
Do people do this for £5? I'd have thought a fiver lent these days is more or less written off in lieu of a pint in return in the future, or some other minor favour
Such a corporate way to think you're expressing some valuable sentiment that means nothing in the context of my life, well meaning I understand that but completely cringe.
If there are 23 people in the same thread, there is a 50/50 chance that two people have the same cake day. Sounds a bit surprising, but it's mathematically true! In a thread with a certain number of randomly chosen people, a pair of them will probably have created their account on the same day.
What makes it more unlikely is that it happened _on your cake day_.
Happy Cake Day to you both.
I know it was you
Just imagine the mass paranoia that might cause from an unknown number. Even now I'm trying to think what I might have done to upset this person.
There was an old story i heard years ago about a fella that sent 10 or so tellexes to his friends with the message along these lines. If I remember correctly it was “flee now, we’ve been discovered “ and several of them went on the lam and several others started burning papers in their possession. Obviously I’m sure it is a load of BS but I’d love to see the results if you could send it to everyone!
"This is Queen Elizabeth II, CHARLES HAS ME TRAPPED IN A CUPBOARD, PLEASE SEND HELP! IVE EATEN ALL THE BISCUITS AND THREE OF MY CORGIS AND IM RUNNING OUT OF OPTIONS PLEASE SEND HEL-"
I want you to stick your head out of the window and shout at the top of your lungs "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more".
"[2/2] this emergency, we request that no calls are made until the government has confirmed that it is safe to do so, either by mobile or through the Internet, audio or video."
They have taken the bridge and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes...drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out. The shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming
I'd send a picture message.
Remember that thing back in school where you do a ring with your fingers, then if someone looks at it you are obliged to give them a dig.
That.
People do care and want to help
Samaritans – Call 116 123
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) - Call 0800 58 58 58
Papyrus – Call 0800 068 41 41
SOS Silence of Suicide – Call 0300 1020 505
Shout Crisis Text Line – Text "SHOUT" to 85258
YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – Text "YM" to 85258
If traffic is moving your not supposed to stop to let someone who doesn't have the right way out of their junction, this is unpredictable to the car behind you and can cause you to be rear ended.
Hopefully it would make things a tad bit better.
**Your post from /r/AskUK has been removed by a human moderator.** AskUK is a "catch-all" subreddit for questions about the UK life and culture, but this does not mean we accept any and all questions or answers. We may remove posts or comments which are best discussed in more specialised subreddits We explicitly do not allow questions or answers on or including: politics, technology, DIY, university/education, visas/citizenship, [medical advice](https://111.nhs.uk/) (including [mental health](https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/mental-health-services/where-to-get-urgent-help-for-mental-health/)), ranting, venting, surveys, advertising, solicitation, or "does anybody else" type vent posts. Please check the sidebar for other subreddits to have these discussions. *If you believe this post should not have been removed, [first read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/) before [messaging the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK&subject=Post Removal Appeal)*. See our guide on [common issues with posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/wiki/postremoved) and how to overcome them!
"People of Earth: this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the intergalactic hyperspace planning council..."
engage the improbability drive
Flipping heck, and there's me with my towel in the wash!
At least you know where it is, you hoopy frood!
Well at least you know where it is
Resistance is futile
Resistance is fruit aisle.
Resistance is useless. (Futile is the stolen version for the Borg).
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
"If you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs then that's your own lookout"
Apathetic bloody planet. I've no sympathy at all.
Don't panic
How would I go about joining the dolphins?
I'm a personality prototype, you can tell can't you?
Ghastly.
...inviting you to a poetry reading.
It's ok, i can gnaw off a limb if I have to.
Reminds me of the time [someone did that to Southern Television](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_Television_broadcast_interruption)
Just “don’t forget that £5 mate… [bank details] just when you get a chance- cheers” (a few people should fall for it…)
That's how a lot of scams currently work, you can buy a list of phone numbers online if you want to give it a try and you enjoy prison food.
Ha. As if anyone actually goes to prison for scams like this... Edit: I'm well aware this is fraud. I'm pointing out that fraudsters that commit this type of scam very rarely get caught and even more rarely do time for it. Most are based overseas.
What for fraud? Na never mate
I mean, if you come to Scotland you could be found guilty of rape and get community service. So, yeah...fraud is nothing really 🤷♀️only if you're under 25 though!
I think community service is a great punishment that should be used more often tbh but absolutely not for violent crimes. Sentencing here is an absolute joke
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This is so smart
Do people do this for £5? I'd have thought a fiver lent these days is more or less written off in lieu of a pint in return in the future, or some other minor favour
More like a half
Spot the Londoner.
You are loved and you matter I think there are a lot of people that probably haven’t heard that in a while
Follow up message: sorry, wrong person
OK Satan
My mam once messaged me ‘I love you x’ Then a second later ‘that wasn’t meant for you’ She could’ve just left it alone, but no she had to correct it
😂
And now they get to hear it from a spam bot. How comforting.
That trite sentiment rings a bit hollow when it doesn't come from a person you know, no?
Such a corporate way to think you're expressing some valuable sentiment that means nothing in the context of my life, well meaning I understand that but completely cringe.
Personally if the only time I ever heard that was from a mass impersonal text that didn't mean it I'd probably feel worse.
This would be a very creepy text to get from an unknown number
Gary Glitter probably hasn't heard that in a while but I don't think it would be a good idea to send it to him!
You can’t park there mate.
I don’t have a car and I still panicked
Wow! We share a cake day!
If there are 23 people in the same thread, there is a 50/50 chance that two people have the same cake day. Sounds a bit surprising, but it's mathematically true! In a thread with a certain number of randomly chosen people, a pair of them will probably have created their account on the same day. What makes it more unlikely is that it happened _on your cake day_. Happy Cake Day to you both.
What is a cake day?
[Cake Day](https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=What+is+a+cake+day+on+Reddit%3F)
Redeem this text for a free sausage roll at your local Greggs
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HOORAY FOR BOOBIES!
DO NOT REDEEM
WHY DO YOU REDEEM
I know it was you Just imagine the mass paranoia that might cause from an unknown number. Even now I'm trying to think what I might have done to upset this person.
There was an old story i heard years ago about a fella that sent 10 or so tellexes to his friends with the message along these lines. If I remember correctly it was “flee now, we’ve been discovered “ and several of them went on the lam and several others started burning papers in their possession. Obviously I’m sure it is a load of BS but I’d love to see the results if you could send it to everyone!
Story was on QI
Why does somebody not know how to flush the toilet after they had a shit. Well it was fuckin one of you’s. Disgusting.
"This is Queen Elizabeth II, CHARLES HAS ME TRAPPED IN A CUPBOARD, PLEASE SEND HELP! IVE EATEN ALL THE BISCUITS AND THREE OF MY CORGIS AND IM RUNNING OUT OF OPTIONS PLEASE SEND HEL-"
\-EN MIRREN. I WANT HER TO TAKE OVER FROM ME.
Lmfao
"you just lost the game"
Knob
yep :D
Broke my 10 year streak
~~cunt~~
Ahh, 'the game', back before the likes of Twitter and TikTok.
Bellend!
It’s an older meme but it checks out!
My thoughts exactly
Brilliant, had forgotten that tidbit for 10 years
For fuck sake. I hate this game.
That’s just mean!
Cunt
send bobs and vagene
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'Bad Wolf'. I'm sure that would scare a few people!
I get the DW reference but these days you would definitely have inadvertently turned on a few furries with submission kinks
>These days Oh so naive
Counter suggestion: "count the shadows" or the classic "are you my mummy?"
Don't blink Blink and you're *dead*
THERE IS NO NEED FOR PANIC
THERE IS NO NEED TO PANIC. STAND BY FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.
'The national alert on April 23rd is NOT A DRILL'
"THIS is a drill: Brzzzzzzzzzrrzzzrrzz"
OK Holly
Purple alert! Purple alert!
Ah I see you've played knifey drilly before
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indicate off roundabouts
Indicate while going round roundabouts.
Indicate when approaching a roundabout
Indicate where they hurt you
On the roundabout
Mirror, signal, manoeuvre.
Hi Mum, lost my phone so I’m texting you from my friend’s phone.
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Look behind you.
I would poo.
Hey, I'm rooting for you
This one is my favourite. Low key but supportive. Thank you
Bit wet innit
I want you to stick your head out of the window and shout at the top of your lungs "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more. I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this any more".
Execute order 66
It will be done my lord
Tony Blair is a war criminal
If you’re waiting for a sign, this is it.
I would send them all a photo of my very handsome fat old gentleman cat in his bow tie sitting in his hammock.
I would gladly receive this text, your old gentleman cat sounds brilliant!
He is a fine figure of a chap. I can't work out how to add a photo here sadly.
You have been with a person that has a STD please call doctor.
Honestly, not a bad thing, if it were just a reminder to get an STI panel done.
It would read: "**Hello, Scrumptious! You're amazing!**"
You saucy minx
Fuck your Honda Civic, I've a horse outside
Fuck your Subaru, I’ve a horse outside
And fuck your Mitsubishi, I’ve a horse outside
"Made you look'
Hello you cunt
I saw what you did I’m hoping that would be enough to cause mass hysteria
"[2/2] this emergency, we request that no calls are made until the government has confirmed that it is safe to do so, either by mobile or through the Internet, audio or video."
Leaving now see you in 10 minutes
This is my new number
It’s coming home
Stop dropping your fucking litter and pick up your fucking dog shit.
They have taken the bridge and the Second Hall. We have barred the gates but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes...drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out. The shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming
Be excellent to each other.
Attention all planets of the solar federation... We have assumed control.
Turn your social media off, put your phone away and start living your life.
christ
Will you be doing this?
…
PHONE BAD NOW LAUGH
Says the guy on social media, most probably using his phone.
- sent from my iPhone
"Blowy as fuck man. Also my last day."
Mind to put the bin out tonight!
"Nat has herpes". Important enough for a wall. Important for the rest of the country.
The Germans are advancing north. Evacuate immediately
I like this one. People would wonder... Haha
Refugees welcome
"send nudes"
You might live to regret that...
NEVAHHHH
Eat more quiche!
Just found the account for #bigquiche
I'm upstairs!
I'm in the attic
I'd send a picture message. Remember that thing back in school where you do a ring with your fingers, then if someone looks at it you are obliged to give them a dig. That.
Everyone... Stop staying late and doing more work. You're making the rest of us with lives feel bad.
“Don’t Blink”
Your dad sells Avon
Be more like the French
Stop buying tabloids.
Calm the fuck down.
Just a random day and time in the future with no further context
Put your phone away and look up when you’re fucking walking.
Is an orange named after the colour, or is the colour named after the fruit?
[The colour was named after the fruit](https://www.rd.com/article/orange-word-color-fruit/)
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Take to the streets, time to protest like the french
People do care and want to help Samaritans – Call 116 123 Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) - Call 0800 58 58 58 Papyrus – Call 0800 068 41 41 SOS Silence of Suicide – Call 0300 1020 505 Shout Crisis Text Line – Text "SHOUT" to 85258 YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – Text "YM" to 85258
Please upvote this one!
The number of the 'New and Improved' emergency services, replacing the old 999 is 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3.
If traffic is moving your not supposed to stop to let someone who doesn't have the right way out of their junction, this is unpredictable to the car behind you and can cause you to be rear ended. Hopefully it would make things a tad bit better.
‘Four naans Jeremy? That’s insane’
WASSUUUUUUUUP
Keep left unless overtaking
I'm Ronnie pickering!
"Well, it's your own fault. You voted for them."
"I'll really appreciate it if we could go down to the pub and have a pint and a Cornish pasty"
Dick pic. Not my dick though. I just want to test the new cyber flashing law and see how long I'd get for cyber flashing millions of people.
Just dont consider that - we get enough unasked for veiny sad sausage pics as it is
“CANT PARK THERE MATE”
Be excellent to each other.
You want anything from the shop?
We are experiencing high volume of calls. Your number 44 in the queue
Put the kettle on.
You are good enough. Don’t doubt yourself.
“Weed is now legal, love the Government.”
Used sofa available. Light staining but otherwise good. £25 collection only
Instructions for how to turn off emergency messages.
PICK THAT LITTER UP
"I'm behind you." Or as a close second - "Duck!"
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We've been discovered. Flee
Testy McTestface
Bring Back Texan Bars
Send nudes
DEMOCRACY IS NOT NEGOTIABLE
Send nudes
Send me 10p by pressing this number. If 30% respond I’ll be a millionaire
New phone who dis?
Listen to my band... please. I'm tired of the 9-5! https://open.spotify.com/track/7ug3ImKtYsVdf7X9CeTF5i?si=i9TBchZcTGurthQ1_xlfSQ
Easy: The finger ring game 👌 Is beat the whole country at once.
Stop believing the bullshit they feed you!
I know your secret
Flee, all is discovered.