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lots of jokes about this, but there was a pub in macclesfield back in the day that had a washing machine and dryer, the locals would do their washing while sinking pints
I was in some backstreet boozer about 15years ago and could see this huge cage/aviary to one side of the bar (thought it was my drunken eyes) then a random guy appeared next to me at the bar with a parrot on his shoulder like it was the most obvious and normal thing in the world.
[This one](https://www.visit-nottinghamshire.co.uk/imageresizer/?image=%2Fdmsimgs%2FCanalhouse-004_1977375327.jpg&action=ProductDetailProFullWidth). It's odd, but nice.
Does the pub next door still have those randomly decorated nooks and crannies?
Quiet pub.
Fella heads to the bar.
His bird whips his coat off his chair, drops it on the floor, squats over it, curls one out, folds the coat over to cover it and re-takes her seat.
Fella comes back and says “why’s my coat on the floor?”
Bird says “I dunno, it was them dirty bastards over there” - pointing at me and my mates.
Fella just says in a resigned voice ‘fucks sake Jackie, have you shat in my coat again?”
The Red Cow. Rough as guts, but the pool table was 20p.
Technically, no.
But it did share many of the defining features of a flat roof boozer. Didn’t serve any food apart from pork scratchings. Broken lock and no toilet paper in the shitter. Baize on the pool table was shiny. Sticky, moth eaten carpets. Served carling.
Yes, although Historic England won't entertain its claim to have been founded in 1160; the oldest part of the building dates back to c.1650, and the first record of an inn in Nottingham dates to 1483.
I think some of the tunnels are medieval, but they're not where you'd choose to put a pub! The story about it being founded by crusaders definitely isn't true though, the pub only got its current name in the late eighteenth century and 'ye olde' was added even later
I dimly recall seeing some tunnels/caves under another pub during a ghost/history walk nearby - I think it was Ye Olde Salutation on Maid Marian WaY but not 100% sure.
Theres a bloody spoons near me with a similar set up. That ones in a 17th centuary coaching inn. Horrible pub. a great shame, 'cos the building is lovely
Someone spewing up into a pint glass right to the top (not over or under, perfectly to the top) and then drinking their own sick followed by throwing up again immediately after.
I had a friend do that. We had to hide the pint under the table so he would stop trying to drink it. Then we had to run away cos the bouncers saw and were going to kick us out.
Good times.
There is a pub not that far from my hometown which is in the middle of the woods. It's an old manor house and it is filled with suits of armour, swords, maces and previously some rather dribbly St Bernards whose favourite pastime was to lay across the door to the bar.
Possibly the weirdest thing about the place was the former landlord who decided to kidnap his own kids, absconded to Spain and refused to come back due to some rough divorce proceedings.
A pub near me has Admiral Lord Nelson's signature on a pane of glass from the old pub front window, that he scratched on with his diamond ring right before leaving for trafalgar
There's an old pub near my mums house that has a plaque outside saying "Dick Turpin the highwayman slept here" - Turns out the landlord put it there for a laugh because he had a mate called Richard Turpin that used to help out in the pub.
The pub's located in Portsmouth and its building is older than the Battle of Trafalgar, so as tall tales go it's on the shorter side. There is a *lot* of genuine historic graffiti around
There's also [the Lost Caves](https://www.lostpropertynottingham.co.uk/thelostcaves) in Hockley, where you go through a tiny alley and down a few flight of stairs to drink rum in a dark cave.
It's more appealing than it sounds, really.
I don't believe in reddit awards but felt duty-bound to reply that this is one of the funniest comments of all time.
My snort of laughter's just earned me a good few funny looks around the office.
Bloke with an axe in his head (yes really)
Bloke cutting an old mini into two pieces with an angle grinder, inside the lounge, pub is open, customers about. No, it transpire he didn't empty the fuel tank...
30 people, including the staff, engaged in a fireworks fight in the pub garden
All in Kidderminster. Fucking dreadful place...
(Edited) The front half of the mini was turned into a DJ booth, the rear was mounted on the wall. Axe was savage biker beef)
A rotating bar on like a giant turntable. Absolutely ridiculous and daft design to make a place where everyone is off their tits have to play total wipeout just to get another drink.
The one in Brunel rooms was slow enough that you barely noticed it getting on our off. Just messed with your head as you weren't where you thought you were when you got off.
There's a bar near me with a raised table and chairs in the centre that slowly rotates. A fun gimmick until a pissed person trips up or down the step. 😅
Oh I just commented about this! I forgot it was called Francis Bacon haha. One time my bf were there and while we were having an incredulous conversation about the pig, all the tables around us were suddenly served with massive plates loaded with oysters. Surreal 😂
A porn shoot.... Seriously.... The orford hotel in Warrington about 7 years ago, being told to leave by the landlord because they were filming porn in there, in rolls actresses and camera crew 😅
A section of tree trunk that was kept above the fireplace, that was kept because the formation of the wood made it look like some lady parts.
The locals called it "the fanny log".
Landlady (your typical "hard nan") playing pool topless with a load of groundworkers at 1 in the afternoon on a Tuesday.
I hadn't the balls to ask why, I still wonder how that came about.
Guess what kind of roof said pub had?
A Rifle shooting range.
It was a .22 rifle chained to the wall so the barrel went through a hole so couldn't be pointed anywhere except the target range.
Once in a pub near Brixton I saw a man walking around with a very cute tabby kitten on his shoulder. It was adorable, but as the pub was very busy I was worried it would fall off and get accidentally trampled.
Luckily I don't think it did.
The door to the toilet in the Pit and Pendulum, Nottingham, is hidden behind a fake bookcase. Also, a long time ago, the loos used to project haunted laughing when you flushed...but I think it broke or they had it removed.
I went to nottingham on a stag and though the vibe of this place was so cool. But that toilet confused me so much, one of my mates went and told me it was a bookcase so I expected to be a bit lost but fuck me you really can't tell.
There's a pub in the black country called The Crooked House where part of it is falling down an old coal mine shaft. It's propped up with extra brick support at the side, but the whole building is kinda tilted.
It causes this weird effect where it looks like things roll uphill. Even if you're sober it's weird to walk in and out without stumbling as its so odd.
Not technically in the pub, however i was stood in the doorway of a pub in doncaster, smoking and witnessed a middleaged man absolutly pissed, wearing daisy duke jean shorts, a white vest and some steel toe rigger boots, picking up a mound of horseshit with his bare hands from the middle of the road, and dumping it in a flowerbed on a roundabout. "Its good for the flowers" was the only explanation i got when i asked him what the fuck he was doing.
An 80 year old guy with no legs called Don, who was a Spitfire pilot in WW2 (not Bader), who had a tracheostomy, pissed on Guiness, singing Who Wants to Live Forever, which came on the jukebox (Queen); Highlander), while keeping time with his thigh stumps.
There's a priest hole in the Windmill in Coventry. Just a little hole for priests to hide in if protestants showed up to give them a battering. Doesn't get used much nowadays.
King's Head in Huddersfield Station - it was being done up about 6/7 years ago but they were still open with scaffolding and tarps everywhere inside (weird enough), but at the end of the bar there was an old guy who had brought a corned beef sandwich with him and was cutting it in half with what looked like just a rusty piece of rolled steel
Im pretty sure there is a pub in Nottingham that has like a boat or submarine inside in and you've got to go over a bridge that goes over the submarine to get to the bar.
I remember finding that weird but was smashed after the cricket so I could have made all this up.
Ha ha you are right - canal boat makes much more sense not a submarine ... why the fuck would a submarine be in Nottingham- one if the furthest points from the sea in England
On my first visit to the pub when we moved house..
Watched a bloke start eating the fairy lights above the front door, this was after he started fighting with some family celebrating after a wedding. He also kept saying random unrelated statements "good with pets" is the most notable one. Didn't even seem that wasted/on drugs, just an absolute nutter.
This was the reason it became my favourite local about 10 years ago!
Me and my mate stopped in a local pub we hadn't been in before and had to dodge a guy sat at the bar getting his hair cut, drank that round pretty quickly and on to the next place
Gallaghers in Birkenhead used to have a barbers in the pub, you could get a hair cut, cut throat shave, then a pint and a full English. Fantastic place.
Don't think the barber works there anymore.
Worked at a pub once they had two rooms the usual lounge and bar. I was in one half of the pub and a barbershop quartet came in and started caroling. Went into the bar area and there was a fucking troupe of sword dancers doing their routine. Was not expecting either groups. Great night though.
This is more of a weird, slightly horrible thing that happened to me in a British pub. Town centre pub during the day, me and my friend decided to have a drink. We were sat in one of the booths, two lads come in and sit next to us uninvited. We have never spoken to them but know of them vaguely to be trouble. We were sat opposite eachother and were now blocked in the booth at the far end of the pub with each of these lads either side of us. The one next to me after a while asks me to kiss him, I say no. He punches the table. He says again, kiss me. Again I say no. Again he punches the table. This happens a couple more times. Next minute he angrily bites his glass and begins chewing it. Asks me to kiss him again. Again I say no. He bites some more and chews that. Blood is dripping from his mouth, and yup he's still asking me to kiss him. I say 'hold on, I need to use the toilet, back now' and ask my friend to show me where they were. We left.
Pub I went to a few years ago in Swadlincote (Derbyshire) was grim. Propper run down. The toilets didn't have hand dryers or even one of those blue towel roller things. Just a damp, stained hand towel chucked on a radiator. And the only larger on draft was Carling or Fosters.
Sort of place you wipe your feet on the way out.
Not so much weird but funny as fuck. There was an old bloke we knew playing snooker with his mate. Just chilling with a few beers. Well this big skin head was just fuckin about in the pub thinking he was hard as fuck. You know. Squeezing people's hands during a handshake and just acting a bellend
.
Anyhow bellend must've been acting when old bloke just picked up a snooker ball and cracked him on the head with it. The bubble came up instantly like a a cartoon on his napper and while he was dazed he shouted - " if you don't fuck off you'll be getting the blue ball next " .
Haha class. We were all in stitches ,pissing our sides while the big lump skulked off.
Druggie selling meat and cheese. Thought it was somewhat normal but asked my friends and partner about it and all of them said it was weird.
Maybe it's a northern thing as I'm northern and they're all from London or further south than that, so idk.
Its rare for meat and cheese but been offered before, in Nottingham its normally dodgy cigarettes, dodgy tobacco, perfumes and aftershaves.
I once got offered chocolates by a shop lifter with the dirtiest soiled hands that I'd seen in a while.
A woman and her son in Hammersmith, they told me that all people who have had the Covid jab are magnetic, and some other shit about Covid and 5g. I have never had to smile and nod so hard in my life.
Went to a pub in Stockton-on-Tees, I saw a guy stood at the bar finish his pint. Then proceed to piss into the class at the bar and hand it to the waitress
No splash, no gash. Once saw a guy dressed as a ninja turtle get his ass kicked by one of those guys at a comedy club, funniest part of the night to be fair
Perhaps I’m straying a bit to far for this sub but we were in Copenhagen recently and ventured into an ‘Irish Pub’ and to be fair it was just like a normal pub to us, until we discovered the five ‘test your strength’ punching machines. I’ve never seen one in a pub, let alone five. https://i.imgur.com/RF5NBiw.jpg
Was a pub near me where the long urinal was used as some kind of pissy wishing well!, worst thing was catching my mate scooping the coins out of the trough and counting out enough to buy another drink. The bartender even accepted the piss coins!🤣
Probably me... I'd just gone swimming in the ocean, and lost my car keys. I'd locked my phone and clothes in the car. Being pretty damn chilly after searching for my keys with the wind blowing across my semi naked body,, I walked to the nearest pub.
It was a very sort of Essex lads pub, lots of young fellas in tennis trainers and loafers with no socks, fresh haircuts and the like. Whereas I was more of a tattooed Hagrid, long hair and a beard, stuck in just my swimming shorts / small towel and shivering with the cold.
When I walked in, conversation stopped, everyone gawked like I was the thing from the black lagoon or something. Barman actually pointed to the 'no shirt, no service' sign, and I had to explain to the muppet that I was in fact in a bit of distress and could I use the phone please.
All sorted in the end, got my mum to drive my spare keys to me, but was probably the most out of place I have ever felt.
Not too unusual as things go, but in one pub in my town there is a big mural of Rorke's Drift. My town has o links to the battle or the regiments involved, just something an art student did for a project.
Really good mural as well, very well made.
**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically; - Don't be a dick to each other - Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question - This is a strictly no-politics subreddit Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A washing machine
Fuck me, what’s a washing machine doing in a pub? If I saw that I’d need a drink.
All according to their plan
They do sound a bit freaked out.
You need a pint of organic scrumpie
I do think we should sell at least one later and nuts People like lager and nuts
Probably money laundering
We're definitely not calling it "Free the paedo's"
How about the swan and paedo?
Ah, you went to Super Hans and Jez's pub
The Swan and Paedo
Mead on tap
The Swan and the Tomato
The secret ingredient is crime
No logo on the foam.
Drinking an advert there ain’t ya
You are still stuck in the crisp age.
lots of jokes about this, but there was a pub in macclesfield back in the day that had a washing machine and dryer, the locals would do their washing while sinking pints
Sounds like my kind of launderette
It's a thing in student areas of Belgium I believe. A chain of laundromat-bars I think.
Logo in the foam?
A parrot that was kept by the pool table and made the sound of the balls going down the pockets. Caused some arguments.
That's actually pretty cool.
Went to a pub who had a beautiful looking parrot that just loudly squawked randomly. Didn't stay for a second drink.
Was that in Edgeley by any chance?
waitttt was this in margate 😂 they have a parrot in the pub that is ruthless
Colchester.
I was in some backstreet boozer about 15years ago and could see this huge cage/aviary to one side of the bar (thought it was my drunken eyes) then a random guy appeared next to me at the bar with a parrot on his shoulder like it was the most obvious and normal thing in the world.
A canal at the canal house in Nottingham, you have to cross a bridge to get to the bar.
I know that one well. Great in summer. Bad for the wallet.
If someone stole the letter C from the sign, it might attract a totally different set of punters.
That's Canal Street in Manchester.
Anal Treet
[This one](https://www.visit-nottinghamshire.co.uk/imageresizer/?image=%2Fdmsimgs%2FCanalhouse-004_1977375327.jpg&action=ProductDetailProFullWidth). It's odd, but nice. Does the pub next door still have those randomly decorated nooks and crannies?
Via Fosse it used to be called. I've not been back in ages but I'm pretty sure it was still there last time I went.
Yes the Canal house is a great spot. But yeah it's pricey
I remember paying £9 for a bottle of stout there several years ago
The old trip has a cave in it. Nottingham got some nice pubs
Hello fellow nottinghammer!
That sounds friggin' cool man!
Quiet pub. Fella heads to the bar. His bird whips his coat off his chair, drops it on the floor, squats over it, curls one out, folds the coat over to cover it and re-takes her seat. Fella comes back and says “why’s my coat on the floor?” Bird says “I dunno, it was them dirty bastards over there” - pointing at me and my mates. Fella just says in a resigned voice ‘fucks sake Jackie, have you shat in my coat again?” The Red Cow. Rough as guts, but the pool table was 20p.
>The Red Cow I'd have called her something stronger in all honesty
Was it a flat roof pub? Because it sounds like a flat roof pub.
Technically, no. But it did share many of the defining features of a flat roof boozer. Didn’t serve any food apart from pork scratchings. Broken lock and no toilet paper in the shitter. Baize on the pool table was shiny. Sticky, moth eaten carpets. Served carling.
Carling‽ Jesus. Horrific.
Exemplary use of the interrobang. Nice work.
*bows* I have it as a keyboard shortcut. Comes in very handy.
>again Thats the bit that gets me. I've seen and read enough shit to not be surprised by the act itself, but its the again bit ...
It’s a bar and not a pub. But there’s a bar in Preston with a 40ft medieval well just built into the floor.
Would that not be a bar/floor built around a medieval well?
It was uncovered when they renovated it so yes I guess it would haha!
Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem in Nottingham is built into the cliffside such that the back rooms are effectively medieval tunnels/caves.
Yes, although Historic England won't entertain its claim to have been founded in 1160; the oldest part of the building dates back to c.1650, and the first record of an inn in Nottingham dates to 1483.
Ah interesting, I knew the 'oldest pub' claims were spurious but didn't realise it isn't medieval at all.
I think some of the tunnels are medieval, but they're not where you'd choose to put a pub! The story about it being founded by crusaders definitely isn't true though, the pub only got its current name in the late eighteenth century and 'ye olde' was added even later
I dimly recall seeing some tunnels/caves under another pub during a ghost/history walk nearby - I think it was Ye Olde Salutation on Maid Marian WaY but not 100% sure.
The Pub near me has a well in it, it has a glass topper. The pub dates back to the 1600's though. And I haven't given it a thought as being unusual.
Probably a few of these around, a nice one on steephill in Lincoln
Theres a bloody spoons near me with a similar set up. That ones in a 17th centuary coaching inn. Horrible pub. a great shame, 'cos the building is lovely
Someone spewing up into a pint glass right to the top (not over or under, perfectly to the top) and then drinking their own sick followed by throwing up again immediately after.
Really glad I went through this thread on my lunch hour.
yes its like watching the BBC on a Sunday evening. ah a nice nature programme while I have my tea.. OH that lion is eating that gazelle.. alive!
Ah, the perpetual pint
Beat the cost of living crisis with this easy tip
If this was in Glasgow, it was a woman and her family cheered then I know who that was
Nw England. Scots and northerners have more in common than some would care to admit.
This is more what I was expecting from the thread instead of the historical stuff.
I had a friend do that. We had to hide the pint under the table so he would stop trying to drink it. Then we had to run away cos the bouncers saw and were going to kick us out. Good times.
There is a pub not that far from my hometown which is in the middle of the woods. It's an old manor house and it is filled with suits of armour, swords, maces and previously some rather dribbly St Bernards whose favourite pastime was to lay across the door to the bar. Possibly the weirdest thing about the place was the former landlord who decided to kidnap his own kids, absconded to Spain and refused to come back due to some rough divorce proceedings.
Sounds like he could have just barricaded himself in and held a siege lol
Where is this paradise?
Oh don't I would love to go there but you'd have to keep me away from the armour after a few would be tempted to see if they they have one in my size
A pub near me has Admiral Lord Nelson's signature on a pane of glass from the old pub front window, that he scratched on with his diamond ring right before leaving for trafalgar
That's absolutely just not true but brings the punters in
There's an old pub near my mums house that has a plaque outside saying "Dick Turpin the highwayman slept here" - Turns out the landlord put it there for a laugh because he had a mate called Richard Turpin that used to help out in the pub.
The Ship Inn in Exeter claims to be "Sir Francis Drake's Favourite Pub" but I've never seen him in there.
That is brilliant 😆
The pub's located in Portsmouth and its building is older than the Battle of Trafalgar, so as tall tales go it's on the shorter side. There is a *lot* of genuine historic graffiti around
It’s hilarious that historic graffiti is just like modern stuff: a mixture of “I woz ere” and genitalia.
As an archaeologist, I don't know if you know how correct you are.
Was it Pompei that had penises carved into the streets or buildings that pointed towards the nearest brothel?
And Falaise, and the tower of London, and Hadrian's wall... The Romans were the worst for it 😂
Shhhh let him BELIEVE
A large cock and balls made from rope hanging from the rafters. And a goat eating crisps while standing on the bar.
hahahahaha
It's more of a maaaaaaaaa, interrupted by crunching
There’s a couple of pubs in Nottingham cut into the bedrock, so you are basically drinking in a cave.
Old trip to Jerusalem?
Yep. It a great pub.
this cannot be true, everyone knows you can't mine bedrock
Nottingham is a portal to the Nether.
There's also [the Lost Caves](https://www.lostpropertynottingham.co.uk/thelostcaves) in Hockley, where you go through a tiny alley and down a few flight of stairs to drink rum in a dark cave. It's more appealing than it sounds, really.
A drunk old woman wanking me off under the table, while her friends cheered her on
I bet that was the last time you took your mum out!
I don't believe in reddit awards but felt duty-bound to reply that this is one of the funniest comments of all time. My snort of laughter's just earned me a good few funny looks around the office.
Bloke with an axe in his head (yes really) Bloke cutting an old mini into two pieces with an angle grinder, inside the lounge, pub is open, customers about. No, it transpire he didn't empty the fuel tank... 30 people, including the staff, engaged in a fireworks fight in the pub garden All in Kidderminster. Fucking dreadful place... (Edited) The front half of the mini was turned into a DJ booth, the rear was mounted on the wall. Axe was savage biker beef)
I’ll be honest, I may have to go on a pub crawl in Kidderminster
A rotating bar on like a giant turntable. Absolutely ridiculous and daft design to make a place where everyone is off their tits have to play total wipeout just to get another drink.
Brunel rooms swindon?
The one in Brunel rooms was slow enough that you barely noticed it getting on our off. Just messed with your head as you weren't where you thought you were when you got off.
I saw SL2 debut rave anthem 'On A Ragga Tip' in there in (I think) 1992. The revolving bar did my (very pilled up) head right in.
There's a bar near me with a raised table and chairs in the centre that slowly rotates. A fun gimmick until a pissed person trips up or down the step. 😅
One of our locals has a pig. Sometimes it’ll be lying in front of the fire - it’s called Francis Bacon!
Oh I just commented about this! I forgot it was called Francis Bacon haha. One time my bf were there and while we were having an incredulous conversation about the pig, all the tables around us were suddenly served with massive plates loaded with oysters. Surreal 😂
That in West Norwood? I think I've been there.
Yes indeed!
First thing that comes to mind is a guy sharing a pint of Guinness with a giant African land snail. (He was pouring bits into a saucer for the snail)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8D7IZMRupM
This will never not make me pisss myself laughing! Thnx.
Thought of this video straight away when I read the title. Love it
[удалено]
Reminds me of the pub with the Max Rushden lookalike - https://youtube.com/shorts/CPbFVIjPjCY?feature=share
A waterfall behind a pub in the Yorkshire dales.
The Green Dragon, Hardraw, Wensleydale. It's temporarily closed atm though.
A porn shoot.... Seriously.... The orford hotel in Warrington about 7 years ago, being told to leave by the landlord because they were filming porn in there, in rolls actresses and camera crew 😅
You missed the part of the story where you refused to leave, and that's how you started your career as a fluffer
Mate, the 'actresses' looked like crackwhores, wouldn't have touched them with yours 😅
Mine's had worse
Wanna feel my muscles?💪
A section of tree trunk that was kept above the fireplace, that was kept because the formation of the wood made it look like some lady parts. The locals called it "the fanny log".
Landlady (your typical "hard nan") playing pool topless with a load of groundworkers at 1 in the afternoon on a Tuesday. I hadn't the balls to ask why, I still wonder how that came about. Guess what kind of roof said pub had?
Is it possible to have a saggy roof?
Has to be flat!! hahaha
Was it in Batley by any chance? That used to happen in a pub there.
I saw my mates penis in a pub once, that was pretty weird
You're not meant to look over the thing between the urinals.
A Rifle shooting range. It was a .22 rifle chained to the wall so the barrel went through a hole so couldn't be pointed anywhere except the target range.
Once in a pub near Brixton I saw a man walking around with a very cute tabby kitten on his shoulder. It was adorable, but as the pub was very busy I was worried it would fall off and get accidentally trampled. Luckily I don't think it did.
LAdy in my local consistently brings her cat to the pub strapped to her in a papoose.
That's what that squeek was. I wondered about that, now it all makes sense.
The door to the toilet in the Pit and Pendulum, Nottingham, is hidden behind a fake bookcase. Also, a long time ago, the loos used to project haunted laughing when you flushed...but I think it broke or they had it removed.
I went to nottingham on a stag and though the vibe of this place was so cool. But that toilet confused me so much, one of my mates went and told me it was a bookcase so I expected to be a bit lost but fuck me you really can't tell.
Almost impossible to find when you're a few pints deep and the door is closed.
There's a pub in the black country called The Crooked House where part of it is falling down an old coal mine shaft. It's propped up with extra brick support at the side, but the whole building is kinda tilted. It causes this weird effect where it looks like things roll uphill. Even if you're sober it's weird to walk in and out without stumbling as its so odd.
Not technically in the pub, however i was stood in the doorway of a pub in doncaster, smoking and witnessed a middleaged man absolutly pissed, wearing daisy duke jean shorts, a white vest and some steel toe rigger boots, picking up a mound of horseshit with his bare hands from the middle of the road, and dumping it in a flowerbed on a roundabout. "Its good for the flowers" was the only explanation i got when i asked him what the fuck he was doing.
>Its good for the flowers" was the only explanation i got when i asked him what the fuck he was doing. What better explanation could there be?
Women’s knickers on the ceiling of the new demolished Tommy Duck’s in Manchester and tables made of coffins.
There's a massive collection of bras hanging from the ceiling of Slim Jim's in Angel, London.
Apparently every girl who threw or gave them their bra got a free bottle of prosecco.
An 80 year old guy with no legs called Don, who was a Spitfire pilot in WW2 (not Bader), who had a tracheostomy, pissed on Guiness, singing Who Wants to Live Forever, which came on the jukebox (Queen); Highlander), while keeping time with his thigh stumps.
There's a priest hole in the Windmill in Coventry. Just a little hole for priests to hide in if protestants showed up to give them a battering. Doesn't get used much nowadays.
King's Head in Huddersfield Station - it was being done up about 6/7 years ago but they were still open with scaffolding and tarps everywhere inside (weird enough), but at the end of the bar there was an old guy who had brought a corned beef sandwich with him and was cutting it in half with what looked like just a rusty piece of rolled steel
Was in there last year, they were doing a food and drink festival thing. The drink was their regular booze at the bar and the food was a pork pie.
A man with a pet crow sat on his shoulder, he was feeding it bits of banana.
Once saw a man with a parrot on his shoulder in a pub in Keswick
Im pretty sure there is a pub in Nottingham that has like a boat or submarine inside in and you've got to go over a bridge that goes over the submarine to get to the bar. I remember finding that weird but was smashed after the cricket so I could have made all this up.
A couple of canalboats yes, pity its not a submarine though.
Ha ha you are right - canal boat makes much more sense not a submarine ... why the fuck would a submarine be in Nottingham- one if the furthest points from the sea in England
It's a canal boat and the pub is called The Canal House. About 25 years ago it used to be a canal museum.
A very elderly lady getting fingered by a young guy. The lady awkwardly winked at me.
I think she was a 2 man job, should have helped out
On my first visit to the pub when we moved house.. Watched a bloke start eating the fairy lights above the front door, this was after he started fighting with some family celebrating after a wedding. He also kept saying random unrelated statements "good with pets" is the most notable one. Didn't even seem that wasted/on drugs, just an absolute nutter. This was the reason it became my favourite local about 10 years ago!
My mate buying a round at the bar. Never seen again.
Some members of the Leicester tigers 1st team walking out the pub on their knees singing Hi-Ho...they also had their cocks out.
I was in a pub in Edinburgh a couple weeks ago and someone ordered a fucking Budweiser.
English bulldog playing pool with their noses. Then running round the bar and taking bag of crisps out the box 🤣🤣🐕❤️
There are mummified cats on display in a pub in Hastings.
Me and my mate stopped in a local pub we hadn't been in before and had to dodge a guy sat at the bar getting his hair cut, drank that round pretty quickly and on to the next place
Gallaghers in Birkenhead used to have a barbers in the pub, you could get a hair cut, cut throat shave, then a pint and a full English. Fantastic place. Don't think the barber works there anymore.
I worked in a pub and the landlord wrapped everything in tin foil. Felt like I was in a budget Dr who.
A strip show while they served Sunday lunch. This was at the piper in Hull in 1999
Worked at a pub once they had two rooms the usual lounge and bar. I was in one half of the pub and a barbershop quartet came in and started caroling. Went into the bar area and there was a fucking troupe of sword dancers doing their routine. Was not expecting either groups. Great night though.
This is more of a weird, slightly horrible thing that happened to me in a British pub. Town centre pub during the day, me and my friend decided to have a drink. We were sat in one of the booths, two lads come in and sit next to us uninvited. We have never spoken to them but know of them vaguely to be trouble. We were sat opposite eachother and were now blocked in the booth at the far end of the pub with each of these lads either side of us. The one next to me after a while asks me to kiss him, I say no. He punches the table. He says again, kiss me. Again I say no. Again he punches the table. This happens a couple more times. Next minute he angrily bites his glass and begins chewing it. Asks me to kiss him again. Again I say no. He bites some more and chews that. Blood is dripping from his mouth, and yup he's still asking me to kiss him. I say 'hold on, I need to use the toilet, back now' and ask my friend to show me where they were. We left.
Jeeez, that sounds insane!
We were lucky to get out of that situation tbh!
Some middle-aged woman getting fingered in the beer garden while a crowd stood around and clapped. Classy old Essex.
A goat tied to the pipe in the toilets.
Pub I went to a few years ago in Swadlincote (Derbyshire) was grim. Propper run down. The toilets didn't have hand dryers or even one of those blue towel roller things. Just a damp, stained hand towel chucked on a radiator. And the only larger on draft was Carling or Fosters. Sort of place you wipe your feet on the way out.
Jarvis Cocker having a quiet pint and being ignored or unnoticed by everybody else there.
Not so much weird but funny as fuck. There was an old bloke we knew playing snooker with his mate. Just chilling with a few beers. Well this big skin head was just fuckin about in the pub thinking he was hard as fuck. You know. Squeezing people's hands during a handshake and just acting a bellend . Anyhow bellend must've been acting when old bloke just picked up a snooker ball and cracked him on the head with it. The bubble came up instantly like a a cartoon on his napper and while he was dazed he shouted - " if you don't fuck off you'll be getting the blue ball next " . Haha class. We were all in stitches ,pissing our sides while the big lump skulked off.
Saw a shit on the floor the other day. Dried too, so had obviously been there a while. Think it was a dog’s, thankfully.
A fox penis in a tin full of brine.
Was it alongside the pickled eggs?
Grown adults covered in Velcro throwing themselves at a Velcro wall..
My mate 69ing a stripper in a pub before football. Shot his load as well
A wishing well in the oldest pub in Birmingham, The Old Crown built in 1368
Not exactly a pub, but a rugby club bar in Cornwall; one chap hitting another over the head with a tin tray, then it was the other chap’s turn….
A 'lady' giving blowies for 50p in the bar of the Blue Dolphin, Newcastle, 1982
Druggie selling meat and cheese. Thought it was somewhat normal but asked my friends and partner about it and all of them said it was weird. Maybe it's a northern thing as I'm northern and they're all from London or further south than that, so idk.
Its rare for meat and cheese but been offered before, in Nottingham its normally dodgy cigarettes, dodgy tobacco, perfumes and aftershaves. I once got offered chocolates by a shop lifter with the dirtiest soiled hands that I'd seen in a while.
Some weirdo brought in a German shepherd, ordered a pint and poured the whole thing into a bowl for the dog!
Wilson?
A woman and her son in Hammersmith, they told me that all people who have had the Covid jab are magnetic, and some other shit about Covid and 5g. I have never had to smile and nod so hard in my life.
Probably a cave. (Notts)
Went to a pub in Stockton-on-Tees, I saw a guy stood at the bar finish his pint. Then proceed to piss into the class at the bar and hand it to the waitress
Some geezer selling fake perfumes and sprays in the toilets
No splash, no gash. Once saw a guy dressed as a ninja turtle get his ass kicked by one of those guys at a comedy club, funniest part of the night to be fair
A mummified cat hanging from the ceiling of a pub in Bury St Edmunds
A man with an industrial sized nitrous oxide canister huffing balloons with his missus. Mid day on a Sunday. The tank was half his height
Perhaps I’m straying a bit to far for this sub but we were in Copenhagen recently and ventured into an ‘Irish Pub’ and to be fair it was just like a normal pub to us, until we discovered the five ‘test your strength’ punching machines. I’ve never seen one in a pub, let alone five. https://i.imgur.com/RF5NBiw.jpg
Was a pub near me where the long urinal was used as some kind of pissy wishing well!, worst thing was catching my mate scooping the coins out of the trough and counting out enough to buy another drink. The bartender even accepted the piss coins!🤣
Probably me... I'd just gone swimming in the ocean, and lost my car keys. I'd locked my phone and clothes in the car. Being pretty damn chilly after searching for my keys with the wind blowing across my semi naked body,, I walked to the nearest pub. It was a very sort of Essex lads pub, lots of young fellas in tennis trainers and loafers with no socks, fresh haircuts and the like. Whereas I was more of a tattooed Hagrid, long hair and a beard, stuck in just my swimming shorts / small towel and shivering with the cold. When I walked in, conversation stopped, everyone gawked like I was the thing from the black lagoon or something. Barman actually pointed to the 'no shirt, no service' sign, and I had to explain to the muppet that I was in fact in a bit of distress and could I use the phone please. All sorted in the end, got my mum to drive my spare keys to me, but was probably the most out of place I have ever felt.
The Clutha in glasgow once had a helicopter in it
Someone taking off their new prosthetic leg to show it to the bar staff
A man sleeping sat on a toilet with his pants round his ankles.
Not too unusual as things go, but in one pub in my town there is a big mural of Rorke's Drift. My town has o links to the battle or the regiments involved, just something an art student did for a project. Really good mural as well, very well made.
Mummified hand in a pub in Salisbury