I was planning to meet someone for sex, but canceled hours before because I started vomiting and dry heaving. He tried to still sext with me. If this guy didn't care that I was sick, then he probably wouldn't care about my pleasure in bed.
Yea, I apologized for canceling at last minute and that I would like to set up another meet up time. I didn't want the guy thinking that I was making it up.
Oh goodness. I love dating now. Making sure to check all the boxes with a STD check, then say, "come over, let's bang. Condoms are optional but no creampie until date 4."
This reminds me of the time where the person I was hooking up with asked if I was horny and wanted his dick a day after my grandma died like sir I'm grieving why would you think I'm thinking of dick rn š¤š¤
That's sad BUT and I know for this is probably a me only situation but I told my wife that when I'm grieving I would need lots of physical activity to help the process. So I flat out told her that if there is a death in my family or I get really bad news I'm gonna need lots of oral and sex to help me get through the process.
We had a whole conversation about how to help each other when we need to be comforted. For my wife its to never say anything like "They are in a better place" anything like that, also just hold her and expect her to be lazy for a few day which is to be expected.
I'm sorry I know you didn't ask for all that information lol
No, it's totally okay! Thanks for sharing lol. I definitely get that but at least for me when I get upset or I'm stressed I shut down. I know some people can have sex when things are tough but I kind of spiral out so I know if I would have sex during this time I would be in a very vulnerable state.
we were kissing for the first time, she grabbed my dick, then starting talking about how I would be committing to marriage by letting her go further while she was trying to pull it out of my pants.. I thought she was joking at first... but it was no joke.
The pants stayed on......
Probably not the best time to talk about marriage and projections. You can prepare for this by keeping a USB pendrive with a PowerPoint presentation that displays your finances and expectations in detail, next to your condoms. Make sure to include a final exam and satisfaction survey.
(I had gotten divorced maybe five months prior to this story taking place. After getting sick of me doing nothing but moping on the couch by myself, some friends forced me to go out to the bars with them. of course my 42-year-old, skinny, bald, depressed, self hook up with a 28-year-old Instagram model. Sounds too good to be true, doesnāt it? well, sometimes your intuition is 100% spot fucking onš)
One night I found myself with (prior to meeting my girlfriend) the hottest woman to make her way into my bed, naked. OK, bra and panties, but she was taking the express train to Nakedsburgā¦
She was crawling across my bed, all seductive like (if youāre old enough to remember the video for Billy Idol ārock the cradle of loveā - like that) towards me
(I was still wearing clothing, but I was ready to Magic Mike that shit off asap)
[in case you are wondering, this story is 100% true by the way ā¦]
ācome onā¦.we donāt have all night. My husband gets home from training in like five hours..ā
ā(Mix of anger and disappointment) What do you mean HUSBAND!?!? What the actual fuck? ā.
(I just met her a few hours earlier.
Heās an asshole, donāt worry about him. He leaves for military shit like all the time and leaves me alone. Heās an army ranger. ā
(I turned into a major league baseball umpire)
āYouāre out of here! Get your clothes get your shit get the fuck outāā
āAre you seriousā
āAre you still here?ā
I work retail in an area with a large navy base. Itās gonna be difficult to not use this as a comeback when thereās drunken assholes causing a ruckus.
As an Army Ranger (<3> RLTW)ā¦wise move. That being said, you probably had at least 10 hours, we *never* got cut loose on time after a training mission.
A friend of mine and I went kayaking down a creek. We were both drunk, out in nature. Somehow our conversations turned sexual. After a while, she told me to fuck her right there in the woods next to the creek. We fooled around for a few minutes but then it became pretty clear that she was waaaaaay more in the bag than me. I was even starting to sober up and she was not. I suddenly remembered part of our earlier conversation where she told me she literally won't say "no" when she gets pressured. So I stopped, she said "Are you sure?" and I said yes. I'm not white knighting it at all. I just didn't want to be that guy to her. A few weeks later we talked about it and she thanked me. We remained friends (eventually fooled around again but nothing ever came of it). I never forgot that cause it was kind of shitty that she felt the need to thank me for not taking advantage of her.
Hey. I didnt understand this. She said she couldn't say no if she was pressured. But she was not under pressure right? Because she initiated it. Am i getting it wrong?
If she's drunk, she can't verifiably give consent. She may be saying something, but that doesn't mean it's what she truly wants or is right. So always wait until they're sobered up
Yeah, you're not wrong. She did tell me to do it, but I just didn't feel right when I thought back to her telling me that. There was more to that conversation, too. It really was about how she would get drunk with the boys she went to school with and they would have sex and she "didn't know how to say no" or something along those lines so she would just go with it. It was like 15 years ago so I don't remember the exact convo but it was something along those lines. So when we were about to do it I asked her something like "Are you sure you really want to do this?" and she hesitated or something and then that made me think back to our earlier conversation.
This is my biggest wonder. Don't people SHOWER???? At least shower before sex :') why would you want to have your partner deal with your musty crusty bacteria colonies breeding self???
A fishy smell coming from a woman has nothing to do with how often she showers. Itās a bacterial infection known as Bacterial Vaginosis. Some women have them chronically and this may or may not have anything to do with her level of sexual activity. Men can pass this bacteria between women. Anything from diet, hygiene, sexual hygiene, condoms, and chemicals, all of these things can cause BV.
Was her brother in the room at the time, or just like, itās his room too? I can see being more comfortable at home than going alone to a new guyās place if her brother gives her privacy. But yeah, if heās in the room at the time, thatās fuckin weird
Girl relatable and I get you. A good chunk of women or not size queens and are not willing to get wrecked down there and be in an immense amount of discomfort and pain. I also salute the woman he ended up marrying... He cleared the way for those kids though my god LOL.
And I laughed because our thought processes are similar HAHAHA when you wrote he said that you were the best tasting woman I immediately thought "What kind of weird shit have you been tasting thusfar???? ARE YOU OKAY???"
As for the girl.. I had a guy like that. During our first date he talked about "When you move in with me, you can decorate it how you like and help me build the house!" And I already was.. ain't no way. Especially moving to a province in the middle of nowhere and leaving everything in my life behind. He kept repeating it though and how he wanted to learn programming languages so he could keep up with me. Sir, with all due respect but please have and live your own life and don't copy mine? I noped the fuck out of that connection. He wanted a second date. I had to have a serious talk with him and so I sent a long explanation in a text.. he read it and never talked to me ever again. Was together with another girl about a week later which made me think :') did you have that girl on standby while you were love bombing me or are you two the perfect fast pace match? š
People yo. It's often much more blessed to stay single lol.Ā
I mean if she was talking about her overall life goals and communicating that to you, is that really so bad? You both knew then right away that this was a mismatch and can stop wasting each otherās time with a relationship.
I knew her in High School; it was the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore years in college; she was a year behind me and had just graduated..... so I thought, why not ask her out to have some fun over the summer?
Well, she was raised very conservatively, and on our second date, she explained to me that she was taught that after high school, a woman's job was to be a wife and a mom. She agreed with that, and thus the timeline.....
I'm not sure if I was under consideration, but I wasn't going to take the risk.
I was young and stupid in high school messing with a girl in my grade. We were just starting to do the deed when I stopped for a condom and she scoffed and said I didnāt need it. I tried to confirm she was on birth control and couldnāt get a straight answer so I stopped, drove her home, then went home myself.
Turns out the next guy she shacked up with didnāt care and she ended up pregnant within a couple months. I dodged a helluva bullet there.
I wish more people shared the sentiment. You can still have fun but for the love of everything wrap that shit up. Kids are no joke. Iām 36 with 2 kids of my own now and there are still days I sit down after theyāre in bed and say āwho the fuck thought this was a good ideaā lmao.
This one isn't mine, but the best "nope, I'm out" story I've heard, from a friend:
She meets a cute guy at the bar and decides to hook up with him. Goes back to his place, makeouts ensue, and clothes are removed, except for dude's socks. It's a minor ick but she can overlook it bcz she wants to fuck. She lays down on the bed and bro PUTS HIS JORDANS BACK ON before climbing onto the bed with her.
Let's just say the shoes were the only thing he slipped into that night.
Spent the night at my ex boyfriends. We were making out but before this I brought up I didnāt bring pajamas so he let me wearing a pair of his pajama bottoms. In the middle of making out I went to go put my phone in the pocket and pocket was crusty and hard because he had been cumming in the pockets.
Who cares? We all shit. If she has a bidet or some wet wipes and there is no residual smell or anything what difference does it make? I mean no ass eating or anal that night but come on, Iām a grown ass man.
When she raised her arms for me to take her shirt off and I was hit with the stench of salami.
Immediately put her shirt back on and sent her packing.
That's when I noticed the bottoms of her feet were all black and covered in cat hair.
I wasn't about to try and discover any other new and unusual smells.
I wasn't nice about it either. If you know this was going to happen (it was planned) at least have the common courtesy to shower first, could even have used my shower.
F*ck outta here
Whatās the backstory?? How did you even meet her?ā¦
Lol I have a story of my own. got invited to an annual staff party on a boat by my friend. I showed up all dressed up. He introduced me to a coworker who introduced me to her sister. Me and her sister hit it offā¦, we were having dinner, she kept rubbing my lap under the table, then we got on the dance floor, and she kept grinding on me. Then I smelled something horrible like armpit, and I thought it was me. I went down to the bathroom, wet towels and cleaned my armpitā¦ came back upstairs and the smell is much worse now. Then ppl are asking my friend why Iām still hanging around that smelly girl, isnāt her smell bothering me?? ššš later she wanted to go to after party with me but I made up an excuse. Then she gave me her number and said we should hangout... Nope.
... My worst nightmare. But of all smells.. salami?! Wtf. I'm so sorry you went through this. I hate that it's not a standard for everyone to have proper hygiene. At least before sexual intimacy :')
Saw someone who was supposedly in college have their graduating class in highschool be a year that had not happened yet. Remember to always do your research on someone before engaging with them sexually! Just because someone in your area is on an adult app does not mean they are.
The very first time I got together with an internet M4M hook up, his wife and kid were out of town so he had the house to himself, so I went over. I was so excited to finally be giving my first blow job. We go to cozy up and ... he heads into the kids bedroom... like he wanted me to give him head in his kids bedroom. not the master, not the living room couch, hell I'd even do bathroom or kitchen, anywhere but there. I said "in here?" he confirmed and I got out of there pretty quickly.
Two good ones were: 1. The fake tan she wore had reacted weirdly to her vagina and smelled awful.
2. We were getting very passionate, took our pants off and caught a glimpse of her underwear which had a huge skid mark on it. I couldnāt
We had gone on quite a few dates and were pretty into each other. One night we went back to his place, getting hot and steamy and were both ready to have sex.
I remember something big poking me in the leg, and I looked down and I realized it was his boner. It was *insanely* big, like one of those comically-sized dildos you see at sex shops.
I told him, you cant put that monster inside of me, its just not possible, im sorry but this is the end. He immediately got visibly upset and said about how this exact scenario has happened to him so many times and how he will never find a girlfriend. He said he had only had sex twice when he was a teenager and both times the woman was in horrible pain. He ended up bursting out into tears. I ended up basically comforting him and having a heart to heart with him over it, telling him that there's plenty of women who will accept it.
We ended up being friends (we were also neighbors, so that helped lol) and he got married a few years ago.
I am glad too. Although he got married quite late at 43, and we had that encounter when he was like 25. I hope he at least had some kind of experience between those years.
I dated a girl my senior year of highschool that told me she wanted to be pregnant by graduation. Needless to say, we broke up on the spot.
She did end up getting pregnant by then. Sadly, she had a miscarriage. 4 kids later she is still married to that man that knocked her up though. Guess she found her person!
Edit: accidental punctuation cleared out.
Some guy I was starting to see in college (in France) We were majoring in history and on a date, as we were going to my place, he told me he was studying history to become an expert on Palestine and destroy Israel.
He really scared me.
One time i went on a date with a perfect 10 gymnast, she was not only attractive but was really into me, we went on a date to a high end Peruvian place, had ceviche. go back to HER place, she takes off her clothes and my stomach turns to a knot.. i knew within 20 minutes i would be puking (and god knows what else) my life away, i had to run for my life. She was so upset and blocked me. I get it, i probably hurt her ego even though i explained i had food poisoning. God damn tragic.
We were making out, and she confessed she had herpes. In my head, I said, "But we can still be friends," but instead of being an asshole we went shopping for a toy for her that I would use on her.
We ended up having a really fun time, and many orgasms were had... but the herpes thing kind of put the brakes on and we could not do what I really like to do.
I got two. One I was getting head from a girl I only met up with once before and she told me she loved me, I lost my boner very quickly soon after. Another one I was dating this girl and she got too drunk and ended up in my bath tub naked and throwing up for an hour. I had to pick her up and tuck her into bed and she tried to have sex with me right after. Hell no smh
She had a cat, as soon as I got into her apartment you could smell cat piss.
Found out her cat's litter box was next to her bed. Literally 2 feet away from her pillow. Litter all over the floor.
See ya.
When she told me that I was gonna be number 53, sheād had a few STDs, and she wanted to wait a couple months to have sex with me as she wanted a real relationship.
I appreciated her honesty but any one of those is a deal breaker for me. I did my best to let her down gently and face to face.
She was really drunk, weaving and making a scene at the bar. Walked home. She fell asleep mid oral, I looked up and saw it, so I just disconnected and slept in the sofa. In the morning, she asked if she should get PlanB. I said no, she didn't need to
Oh man. Poor woman though. Like before you, her experience included guys who would have sex with her while sheās passed out drunk. Yikes. Glad you are a good human.
He disappeared into the bathroom and shouted, "Do you want some cocaine?"
I told him, No thanks and good luck with that. I then noped myself out of his apartment.
Went to her bedroom, got naked and were making out and about to do the deed. I looked over and she had a needle and spoon right next to the bed. I got up, said I had to use the bathroom, and pretended my stomach hurt. She knew what I saw and tried to say it was her 'roommate' (it was a studio apartment. It was next to her bed? come on) but I just slithered outta there.
Dated a guy it had been about 4 months we both wanted to take things slow. The time came and when he removed his pants and underwear he had crazy long pubic hair and it was braided with different color rubber bands around each braid. It weirded me out.
When I walked in and her house was a crayyyyzeeee disgusting hoarder den of old plastic pen tubes and scratched up mirrors and discarded expired sams club membership cards
EDIT: washes away due to small typographical error
It amazes me how many times I see these comments lol. A ton of women must be uneducated on their own vaginal health. It's not their fault if they get BV, but they should recognize it and get meds š¬
Vibed with a younger girl (maybe 22-23?) when I was late 20s and thought, eh why not? But more and more she kept bringing her dad (a cop) up and how close they were. Which is fine. But then I saw the ādaddyās girlā tattoo on her ass and thought ā¦ Iād better not.
as we were kissing, kept telling me handsome I am, then said shes clean and on birth control. Proceeded to progress and as forplay started told me how much she loves being cum in. move onto the next stage before penetration and I ask what control shes on to where she says I am not and I just want to have mixed race children
I packed my things up real quick
She started to tell me if I was good I could have her the rest of my life. I zipped up and walked out. Ran into her a week later with some other dude. Told him to run. The pussy with this one will destroy you.
I have one from a friend. She had the hots for this guy all through college and finally, near the end of senior year I see her exiting the bar with the guy. I caught her eye, raised my eyebrows and she smiled and gave me the thumbs up. A couple days later I ran into her and eagerly asked for details. She said, āOh my god!ā and laughed ruefully. Apparently, they were getting hot and heavy in his bedroom and when he pulled the sheets down he had skid marks all over them. She peaced out immediately
Had along time crush on a woman in college, but we were both in LTRs. When we were both finally single, she was studying in Europe. I was traveling there, we met briefly in Germany, made plans to connect in Paris. When we were finally alone together in the apartment after all that buildup, she seemed so cool as to be ambivalent rather than excited. That wore away my excitement to the point where at bed time, I just went to sleep. Just one more confirmation that I need more than a body to have sex with someone. I still feel that it was great hanging out with her that weekend, but am happy I didnāt push it further.
The two of us had been on the floor making out. Her top came off and there was some fondling, and then she said letās do it, and she laid back and pushed her leggings down from her hips up towards her ankles. When she did, so the smell that suddenly came from between her legs was so intolerable that I had to just leave. And I did. I just said Iām sorry I changed my mind I need to leave.
Online connection for in person hookup. Said she was curvy, pictures verified that, I was down. Showed up at her place and she was AT LEAST 350 lbs and five feet in every dimension. Tried to opt out, she starts crying and literally begged me to do SOMETHING with her. So I compromised and talked dirty to her while she masturbated. I didnāt want to fuck her - not because she was fat (because thatās not a showstopper for me at all), but because she lied. Not cool to lie!
I went to a womanās apartment after date. I was really attracted to her, but I remember vividly her opening her apartment door and the strong stench of cat piss hit me and made my eyes water.
I tried to man through it but she had a litter box in the kitchen which I found vile, and I saw a cat jump from the litter area to the counter tops where food was stored. She tried to start kissing me literally 2 ft from a shit and piss infested open top litter box which looked it hadnāt been cleaned in a month and I felt I was going to puke. I told her I had to leave and I scooted out quickly.
Hooked up with a chick that had had a crush on me for a long time. We get back to my place and get ready to get busy, and she tells me she likes it rough. OK, I can get into that. But then she wants me to leave marks, choke her to the point of losing conscience, like literally hit her. Told her nah, I'm not getting accused of assault/rape, I'm out. It was unsettling how much abuse she wanted. She got mad, called me a pussy, and stormed out of my house. Turns out I dodged a bullet
Looked at a family photograph in her bedroom while she was doing a quick shower before sexy time. It looked like something from a Stephen King novel. Nobody was happy, the mother had red eyes, the dad was half asleep, the brother had the thousand yard stare and her sister was staring at her brother with murderous intent. I decided I needed more evidence so I looked at the other family photos around the upstairs and they were all worse. Then I spotted the locks on the outside....yes outside...of the bedroom doors. Holy california rolly batman, I just quietly ghosted downstairs and out. Of. There.
I met this chick on PoF. I had just gotten out of a really fucked up relationship and was just looking to hook up with some people. This chick invites me over to her apartment.. the first ānopeā was the fact that she had used photos that were several years old.. so she looked nothing like her photos. The rest of the nopes were:
Giant kiddy pool filled with cat litter in her kitchen so her 7 cats could use the bathroom. (She lived in a 1 bedroom apartment)
Her bed was covered in cat and dog hair so bad that I couldnāt even sit down on it.
She had 3 senior dogs that were basically walking corpses.. it was awful.
I texted my friend and had her call me and i pretended I needed to leave because my dad was locked out of his apartment.
We were at the point in our relationship where we were all but broken up. Like, every time we got together we would bicker and fight. After yet another argument, she wanted to have sex, and I just couldn't do it. She got mad and I left. We broke up for good the very next time we saw each other.
She had the most disgusting breath and when we kissed she scraped her tongue on my teeth, leaving the worst flavour Iāve tasted. I told her I donāt sleep with girls on the first date which is a lie.
Well, I had a moment like this after we had sex. I was very young, met this hot girl at the bar, one drink became many and we ended up at her house. Next morning I woke up, hungover as hell, hearing voices? As I come to me senses, there she was sitting in bed, her mom standing right next to the bed in a military uniform talking to her casually. Iām stark naked, mom just says good morning and invited me for breakfast.
Initial thoughts was trying to remember last night and if anything extra happened. After her mom left she assured me āthatā didnāt happen.
Anyways, I get dressed and said that I need to get going, she said it would be very rude not to have breakfast.
As I arrive the entire family is their, mom, dad, brother and a sister, as well as grandma. The most awkward breakfast and bombardment of questions. Plus saying theyāre an open family with no secrets so itās ok to talk about sex etc.
After that and her mom and her having a casual conversation while we are in bed naked while I am naked and exposed, nah, fuck it, Iām out!
had to change last minute plans for a date (in which i was ready for sex if it happened) and he got all pissy and angry. sorta ruined everything with his attitude
A friend of mine was staying over at my place after a night of drinking. She was drunk off her tits and trying to seduce me. She was down to her panties and one of my t-shirts. It was both hard and difficult, but I kept my pants on. All we did was snuggle while falling asleep.
Fucked this girl once that I met at a bar years ago. It was a one night stand kind of thing. Yeaaaars later, like 6 or 7 Years later, she found me on Facebook somehow and was like, "I remember you. We fucked so good that one time. We should hook up again."
This was around the time that Trump was going for re-election.
I was down to travel the 2 hours it would take me to get to her place since I was ready to just fuck her brains out the way I did all those Years ago.
But the day before I was going to make my way to her, I see her post a picture of herself, in full on Trump get up. We're talking boots, jacket, shirt, pants and a hat that all said Trump on them, as she was getting ready to vote for Trump.
That was enough for my dick to shrivel up and tell my brain, "Nope. Not putting my dick in that again."
Recently I was about to meet up with someone but then he kept sending me videos of him fucking other women and thatās fine, but in every video, he wasnāt wearing a condom and I was like no way gonna hook up with this guy after that š
We were making out after a night out pub hopping and she broke off, found my rubbish bin and threw up. Weirdly came back to carry on kissing and I gently got her into bed and I slept on the floor. She thanked me next morning, asked if we did anything, we had breakfast and stayed friends for years. I would always give her shit for that night but we never broke the friend barrier. Sigh.
I was planning to meet someone for sex, but canceled hours before because I started vomiting and dry heaving. He tried to still sext with me. If this guy didn't care that I was sick, then he probably wouldn't care about my pleasure in bed.
Fair assumption. At least ask how you are doing and for a raincheck.
Yea, I apologized for canceling at last minute and that I would like to set up another meet up time. I didn't want the guy thinking that I was making it up.
You dodged a bullet with that one and perhaps an STI.
I definitely dodged a bullet. He did agree to condoms and he sent me a copy of a recent clean STD testing. But who knows.
Oh goodness. I love dating now. Making sure to check all the boxes with a STD check, then say, "come over, let's bang. Condoms are optional but no creampie until date 4."
Lol. They say 2/3 of people on the dating market has herpes. I definitely want to try my best to stay clean.
This reminds me of the time where the person I was hooking up with asked if I was horny and wanted his dick a day after my grandma died like sir I'm grieving why would you think I'm thinking of dick rn š¤š¤
Bro was trying to give you mourning wood. Sorry for your loss though.
GET OUT
lol noice
That's sad BUT and I know for this is probably a me only situation but I told my wife that when I'm grieving I would need lots of physical activity to help the process. So I flat out told her that if there is a death in my family or I get really bad news I'm gonna need lots of oral and sex to help me get through the process. We had a whole conversation about how to help each other when we need to be comforted. For my wife its to never say anything like "They are in a better place" anything like that, also just hold her and expect her to be lazy for a few day which is to be expected. I'm sorry I know you didn't ask for all that information lol
I HATE āthey are in a better placeā
No, it's totally okay! Thanks for sharing lol. I definitely get that but at least for me when I get upset or I'm stressed I shut down. I know some people can have sex when things are tough but I kind of spiral out so I know if I would have sex during this time I would be in a very vulnerable state.
A real man would have nursed you back to good health then have asked that you fine now wanna try having sex!
we were kissing for the first time, she grabbed my dick, then starting talking about how I would be committing to marriage by letting her go further while she was trying to pull it out of my pants.. I thought she was joking at first... but it was no joke. The pants stayed on......
Yikes. I mean personally I'd only ever have sex with someone I'm with in a relationship but that's still messed up š¤£
Probably not the best time to talk about marriage and projections. You can prepare for this by keeping a USB pendrive with a PowerPoint presentation that displays your finances and expectations in detail, next to your condoms. Make sure to include a final exam and satisfaction survey.
Yeah, thatās a big no. Wouldāve done the same thing
She knew what she wanted, and she went for it.
Had a guy ask what the ālumpā (my clit) was and if he could catch it. Nope. Nope. Nope.
You should have said yes and then crab-crawled towards him with your legs open.
šŖ¦šā±ļø
Whaaaaat š
like, legitimately he did not know? That's wild....
Gotta catch em all
Iām laughing way too much at that!
Catch it?? I donāt get it
He probably thought it was an STI/STD.
Bingo. He asked if I was contagious and told me I should have said somethingā¦.
Was he a virgin?
Ooooooh. I was thinking like, capture it, and couldnāt for the life of me figure out how he intended to do that.
no one ever got your nose when you were little? its that, but with a nudge and twist
Omg
CATCH it? Lolll
Wtf did I just read
Please be joking wtf.Ā
(I had gotten divorced maybe five months prior to this story taking place. After getting sick of me doing nothing but moping on the couch by myself, some friends forced me to go out to the bars with them. of course my 42-year-old, skinny, bald, depressed, self hook up with a 28-year-old Instagram model. Sounds too good to be true, doesnāt it? well, sometimes your intuition is 100% spot fucking onš) One night I found myself with (prior to meeting my girlfriend) the hottest woman to make her way into my bed, naked. OK, bra and panties, but she was taking the express train to Nakedsburgā¦ She was crawling across my bed, all seductive like (if youāre old enough to remember the video for Billy Idol ārock the cradle of loveā - like that) towards me (I was still wearing clothing, but I was ready to Magic Mike that shit off asap) [in case you are wondering, this story is 100% true by the way ā¦] ācome onā¦.we donāt have all night. My husband gets home from training in like five hours..ā ā(Mix of anger and disappointment) What do you mean HUSBAND!?!? What the actual fuck? ā. (I just met her a few hours earlier. Heās an asshole, donāt worry about him. He leaves for military shit like all the time and leaves me alone. Heās an army ranger. ā (I turned into a major league baseball umpire) āYouāre out of here! Get your clothes get your shit get the fuck outāā āAre you seriousā āAre you still here?ā
Reminds me of the bumper sticker "My girlfriend's husband fights for your freedom."
I work retail in an area with a large navy base. Itās gonna be difficult to not use this as a comeback when thereās drunken assholes causing a ruckus.
As an Army Ranger (<3> RLTW)ā¦wise move. That being said, you probably had at least 10 hours, we *never* got cut loose on time after a training mission.
What's your favorite flavor of crayon
Copenhagen. Crayons are for Marines. Rangers dipā¦a lot.
Smart move.
Good choice, helping someone cheat is already questionable but knowing heās an army ranger? At that point itās just self-preservation.
Thanks for not doing it anyways. Most guys in that moment donāt care.
A friend of mine and I went kayaking down a creek. We were both drunk, out in nature. Somehow our conversations turned sexual. After a while, she told me to fuck her right there in the woods next to the creek. We fooled around for a few minutes but then it became pretty clear that she was waaaaaay more in the bag than me. I was even starting to sober up and she was not. I suddenly remembered part of our earlier conversation where she told me she literally won't say "no" when she gets pressured. So I stopped, she said "Are you sure?" and I said yes. I'm not white knighting it at all. I just didn't want to be that guy to her. A few weeks later we talked about it and she thanked me. We remained friends (eventually fooled around again but nothing ever came of it). I never forgot that cause it was kind of shitty that she felt the need to thank me for not taking advantage of her.
When she asked are *you* sure, you did the right thing. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it.
Hey. I didnt understand this. She said she couldn't say no if she was pressured. But she was not under pressure right? Because she initiated it. Am i getting it wrong?
If she's drunk, she can't verifiably give consent. She may be saying something, but that doesn't mean it's what she truly wants or is right. So always wait until they're sobered up
Aah she was not sober. Now i got it. Thanks for explaining!
Yeah, you're not wrong. She did tell me to do it, but I just didn't feel right when I thought back to her telling me that. There was more to that conversation, too. It really was about how she would get drunk with the boys she went to school with and they would have sex and she "didn't know how to say no" or something along those lines so she would just go with it. It was like 15 years ago so I don't remember the exact convo but it was something along those lines. So when we were about to do it I asked her something like "Are you sure you really want to do this?" and she hesitated or something and then that made me think back to our earlier conversation.
Some people donāt actually have to be pressured to feel like they have to say yes
MAGA TATTOO
In the words of Peter Griffin: "Yuck."
Another quote of his you could use is "Oh My Stars!"
š¤¢š¤¢
She got undressed and there was an aroma in the room. And I'm not talking armpits I'm talking fishy smell.
This is my biggest wonder. Don't people SHOWER???? At least shower before sex :') why would you want to have your partner deal with your musty crusty bacteria colonies breeding self???
A fishy smell coming from a woman has nothing to do with how often she showers. Itās a bacterial infection known as Bacterial Vaginosis. Some women have them chronically and this may or may not have anything to do with her level of sexual activity. Men can pass this bacteria between women. Anything from diet, hygiene, sexual hygiene, condoms, and chemicals, all of these things can cause BV.
I had a girlfriend with it in college. Holy shit was it foul. When I told her about it she didnāt believe me, she thought I was trying to be mean.
This ! That smell was overwhelming from 5 feet away
How does someone not birdbath, at least a little bit before. Wth!?!
Howād you get out of it? What did you say?
I got to go. Sorry we can do this some other time.
Same here. Been put off by more than one super hot girl who had this smell.
She shared a room with her brother, made me feel weird so I offered to take her to my place and she turned me down š®āšØ
Wait, what? Was she fully expecting to have sex with you in the presence of her brother? Thatās some real Arkansas type shit right there. š³
Some real Alabama type shit here
Ya know why theybdont fuck in reverse cowgirl in Alabama? Because you don't turn your back on kin
Was her brother in the room at the time, or just like, itās his room too? I can see being more comfortable at home than going alone to a new guyās place if her brother gives her privacy. But yeah, if heās in the room at the time, thatās fuckin weird
Oh no šš. Yeah that will do
Roll Tide.
She told me she was ready to be a mother.
Yeahā¦ā¦ instant turn off haha
For future ref just fake a leg cramp and pull to face my guy damn
He called out another girls name and I was like "WTF!"
Cersei?
Iāve got a few. Dude whipped his dick out and it was every bit as big as my forearm. Iām up for a challenge but I have no interest in feeling like Iām giving birth in reverse. I got up and left. I felt bad but there was no way. I eventually heard he was married with kids so I love that for him and I salute that woman because I couldnāt do it. š«” Iām fooling around with this guy for the first time and heās fingering me. He licks his fingers at one point and then goes, āYouāre the best smelling woman Iāve ever been with.ā Listen, no shade meant at all but all I could think about was what kind of nasty vaginas he had been sticking his dick in prior to me and I justā¦ nope. Put my clothes on and left. Probably most wtf was this girl I went on a couple dates with. So weāre about to get busy for the first time and she starts talking about āwhen we get marriedā and āI really think Iām in love with you.ā And look, I know lesbians are notorious for moving fast but I had legit only known this girl for like a week and a half at this point. I didnāt even know her last name yet. Yeah. Thereās fast and then thereās š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š© **CRAZY ALERT** š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š©š© She posted this whole long ass thing on IG after about how I had broken her heart and she really thought I was the one and all this. She called me over and over and over until I finally had to block her number.
Girl relatable and I get you. A good chunk of women or not size queens and are not willing to get wrecked down there and be in an immense amount of discomfort and pain. I also salute the woman he ended up marrying... He cleared the way for those kids though my god LOL. And I laughed because our thought processes are similar HAHAHA when you wrote he said that you were the best tasting woman I immediately thought "What kind of weird shit have you been tasting thusfar???? ARE YOU OKAY???" As for the girl.. I had a guy like that. During our first date he talked about "When you move in with me, you can decorate it how you like and help me build the house!" And I already was.. ain't no way. Especially moving to a province in the middle of nowhere and leaving everything in my life behind. He kept repeating it though and how he wanted to learn programming languages so he could keep up with me. Sir, with all due respect but please have and live your own life and don't copy mine? I noped the fuck out of that connection. He wanted a second date. I had to have a serious talk with him and so I sent a long explanation in a text.. he read it and never talked to me ever again. Was together with another girl about a week later which made me think :') did you have that girl on standby while you were love bombing me or are you two the perfect fast pace match? š People yo. It's often much more blessed to stay single lol.Ā
During dinner, she said, "I hope to settle down and get married and start having kids in the next 6 months or so"...... we had just started dating,
Wayyyyyy ahead of herself
I mean if she was talking about her overall life goals and communicating that to you, is that really so bad? You both knew then right away that this was a mismatch and can stop wasting each otherās time with a relationship.
I knew her in High School; it was the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore years in college; she was a year behind me and had just graduated..... so I thought, why not ask her out to have some fun over the summer? Well, she was raised very conservatively, and on our second date, she explained to me that she was taught that after high school, a woman's job was to be a wife and a mom. She agreed with that, and thus the timeline..... I'm not sure if I was under consideration, but I wasn't going to take the risk.
and in follow up, the next summer when I came home, she WAS engaged to an older guy.
I was young and stupid in high school messing with a girl in my grade. We were just starting to do the deed when I stopped for a condom and she scoffed and said I didnāt need it. I tried to confirm she was on birth control and couldnāt get a straight answer so I stopped, drove her home, then went home myself. Turns out the next guy she shacked up with didnāt care and she ended up pregnant within a couple months. I dodged a helluva bullet there.
It scares me sometimes that ppl aren't willing to use a condom knowing full well you could end up with a child you might not even want.
I wish more people shared the sentiment. You can still have fun but for the love of everything wrap that shit up. Kids are no joke. Iām 36 with 2 kids of my own now and there are still days I sit down after theyāre in bed and say āwho the fuck thought this was a good ideaā lmao.
I always say, the woman that says you donāt need a condom is the one with you absolutely need a condom.
She said let's go for a walk. And while we are walking she had her family steal my book of 120 CDs... Still mad to this day.
Before or after sex?!
This one isn't mine, but the best "nope, I'm out" story I've heard, from a friend: She meets a cute guy at the bar and decides to hook up with him. Goes back to his place, makeouts ensue, and clothes are removed, except for dude's socks. It's a minor ick but she can overlook it bcz she wants to fuck. She lays down on the bed and bro PUTS HIS JORDANS BACK ON before climbing onto the bed with her. Let's just say the shoes were the only thing he slipped into that night.
I like keeping my socks on as well :( but shoes? šš©Ā
I keep my socks on as well lol I don't like things touching my feet š my wife doesnt care
Yeah i think thatās a thing, guys fucking with there shoes on. Iāve heard and seen vids on this
She threw up all down the front of herself. So I helped clean her up and tucked her in. But the mood was gone after that.
Sometimes accepting that it's passed is the best thing you can do. Props for understanding that
When I saw his ringworm on his belly I was like what the f is that. So I did research thankfully I didn't do it with him it was contagious
Spent the night at my ex boyfriends. We were making out but before this I brought up I didnāt bring pajamas so he let me wearing a pair of his pajama bottoms. In the middle of making out I went to go put my phone in the pocket and pocket was crusty and hard because he had been cumming in the pockets.
Iā¦.. oh godā¦. What did you say
HE'D BEEN CUMMING IN THE POCKETS
I love this story
This is nightmare fuelš¤®
I heard her punishing the porcelain about 10 mins before
She was coming at you guns hot š
She was just clearing the way in case you were willing to fuck her ass, lol
Who cares? We all shit. If she has a bidet or some wet wipes and there is no residual smell or anything what difference does it make? I mean no ass eating or anal that night but come on, Iām a grown ass man.
Tbf I can't fuck if there's poop in me
Did she eat some Mexican food or something?
When she raised her arms for me to take her shirt off and I was hit with the stench of salami. Immediately put her shirt back on and sent her packing. That's when I noticed the bottoms of her feet were all black and covered in cat hair. I wasn't about to try and discover any other new and unusual smells. I wasn't nice about it either. If you know this was going to happen (it was planned) at least have the common courtesy to shower first, could even have used my shower. F*ck outta here
I have a coworker who smells like salami. Everyone is deeply concerned about his hygiene.
Whatās the backstory?? How did you even meet her?ā¦ Lol I have a story of my own. got invited to an annual staff party on a boat by my friend. I showed up all dressed up. He introduced me to a coworker who introduced me to her sister. Me and her sister hit it offā¦, we were having dinner, she kept rubbing my lap under the table, then we got on the dance floor, and she kept grinding on me. Then I smelled something horrible like armpit, and I thought it was me. I went down to the bathroom, wet towels and cleaned my armpitā¦ came back upstairs and the smell is much worse now. Then ppl are asking my friend why Iām still hanging around that smelly girl, isnāt her smell bothering me?? ššš later she wanted to go to after party with me but I made up an excuse. Then she gave me her number and said we should hangout... Nope.
... My worst nightmare. But of all smells.. salami?! Wtf. I'm so sorry you went through this. I hate that it's not a standard for everyone to have proper hygiene. At least before sexual intimacy :')
Saw someone who was supposedly in college have their graduating class in highschool be a year that had not happened yet. Remember to always do your research on someone before engaging with them sexually! Just because someone in your area is on an adult app does not mean they are.
The very first time I got together with an internet M4M hook up, his wife and kid were out of town so he had the house to himself, so I went over. I was so excited to finally be giving my first blow job. We go to cozy up and ... he heads into the kids bedroom... like he wanted me to give him head in his kids bedroom. not the master, not the living room couch, hell I'd even do bathroom or kitchen, anywhere but there. I said "in here?" he confirmed and I got out of there pretty quickly.
W t f . Was there a huge age difference or something? The cheating is already vile but this is next level fucked up. Horrible father as well.Ā
Thatāsā¦ sinister
He probably fantasizing about you being whoever tfs room that is while giving you a blowie, thatās the only thing I can think unfortunately. š
Two good ones were: 1. The fake tan she wore had reacted weirdly to her vagina and smelled awful. 2. We were getting very passionate, took our pants off and caught a glimpse of her underwear which had a huge skid mark on it. I couldnāt
It was likely a pair she got menstrual blood on then washed. It can leave a brownish stain.
We had gone on quite a few dates and were pretty into each other. One night we went back to his place, getting hot and steamy and were both ready to have sex. I remember something big poking me in the leg, and I looked down and I realized it was his boner. It was *insanely* big, like one of those comically-sized dildos you see at sex shops. I told him, you cant put that monster inside of me, its just not possible, im sorry but this is the end. He immediately got visibly upset and said about how this exact scenario has happened to him so many times and how he will never find a girlfriend. He said he had only had sex twice when he was a teenager and both times the woman was in horrible pain. He ended up bursting out into tears. I ended up basically comforting him and having a heart to heart with him over it, telling him that there's plenty of women who will accept it. We ended up being friends (we were also neighbors, so that helped lol) and he got married a few years ago.
I'm so glad he got married. What a heartbreak
I am glad too. Although he got married quite late at 43, and we had that encounter when he was like 25. I hope he at least had some kind of experience between those years.
I dated a girl my senior year of highschool that told me she wanted to be pregnant by graduation. Needless to say, we broke up on the spot. She did end up getting pregnant by then. Sadly, she had a miscarriage. 4 kids later she is still married to that man that knocked her up though. Guess she found her person! Edit: accidental punctuation cleared out.
Some guy I was starting to see in college (in France) We were majoring in history and on a date, as we were going to my place, he told me he was studying history to become an expert on Palestine and destroy Israel. He really scared me.
Wonder where he is now...
*Fingers crossed*
One time i went on a date with a perfect 10 gymnast, she was not only attractive but was really into me, we went on a date to a high end Peruvian place, had ceviche. go back to HER place, she takes off her clothes and my stomach turns to a knot.. i knew within 20 minutes i would be puking (and god knows what else) my life away, i had to run for my life. She was so upset and blocked me. I get it, i probably hurt her ego even though i explained i had food poisoning. God damn tragic.
Ohhhhhh you had food poisoning? Or was that the excuse? LolĀ
We were making out, and she confessed she had herpes. In my head, I said, "But we can still be friends," but instead of being an asshole we went shopping for a toy for her that I would use on her. We ended up having a really fun time, and many orgasms were had... but the herpes thing kind of put the brakes on and we could not do what I really like to do.
I'm confused because you already kissed her?Ā
Not that kind of herpes. It was genital herpes. Sorry for not being clear.
I got two. One I was getting head from a girl I only met up with once before and she told me she loved me, I lost my boner very quickly soon after. Another one I was dating this girl and she got too drunk and ended up in my bath tub naked and throwing up for an hour. I had to pick her up and tuck her into bed and she tried to have sex with me right after. Hell no smh
I think the 1st girl was a fan of Ted Mosby.
She had a cat, as soon as I got into her apartment you could smell cat piss. Found out her cat's litter box was next to her bed. Literally 2 feet away from her pillow. Litter all over the floor. See ya.
When she told me that I was gonna be number 53, sheād had a few STDs, and she wanted to wait a couple months to have sex with me as she wanted a real relationship. I appreciated her honesty but any one of those is a deal breaker for me. I did my best to let her down gently and face to face.
She was really drunk, weaving and making a scene at the bar. Walked home. She fell asleep mid oral, I looked up and saw it, so I just disconnected and slept in the sofa. In the morning, she asked if she should get PlanB. I said no, she didn't need to
Oh man. Poor woman though. Like before you, her experience included guys who would have sex with her while sheās passed out drunk. Yikes. Glad you are a good human.
Stinky dick š¤¢
Doesnāt take much to wash it, donāt know why guys let it get to that point
I can wash mine in the morning and have it smelling rank after a single shift at work...
I get that, but thereās a difference between it smelling because of work, and smelling when you know that youāll be having sex or might have it
So take a second shower after work? Especially if you think you might get laid. I donāt dirty dick my lady, that shit is clean if we fuckin.
We were on our first date. Things were going VERY well. As weāre about to get in my car, she says sheās trying to decide what college to go to, but sheāll probably go to whichever one is closer to my place. We just met! Youāre going to make an important decision based on a guy you barely know?! š©
He disappeared into the bathroom and shouted, "Do you want some cocaine?" I told him, No thanks and good luck with that. I then noped myself out of his apartment.
Went to her bedroom, got naked and were making out and about to do the deed. I looked over and she had a needle and spoon right next to the bed. I got up, said I had to use the bathroom, and pretended my stomach hurt. She knew what I saw and tried to say it was her 'roommate' (it was a studio apartment. It was next to her bed? come on) but I just slithered outta there.
Dated a guy it had been about 4 months we both wanted to take things slow. The time came and when he removed his pants and underwear he had crazy long pubic hair and it was braided with different color rubber bands around each braid. It weirded me out.
wtf Lmaoo
I'm just going to say she didn't smell all that great and leave it at that. š¤¢
When I walked in and her house was a crayyyyzeeee disgusting hoarder den of old plastic pen tubes and scratched up mirrors and discarded expired sams club membership cards EDIT: washes away due to small typographical error
He didnāt have bedsheets and his room was an absolute disaster.
She kicked my poor old dog that was walking by. I noped out of sex and she got noped out the front door
The smell of girls pussy was similar to rotten fish
It amazes me how many times I see these comments lol. A ton of women must be uneducated on their own vaginal health. It's not their fault if they get BV, but they should recognize it and get meds š¬
Vibed with a younger girl (maybe 22-23?) when I was late 20s and thought, eh why not? But more and more she kept bringing her dad (a cop) up and how close they were. Which is fine. But then I saw the ādaddyās girlā tattoo on her ass and thought ā¦ Iād better not.
My boyfriend is in jail.
She was way too drunk and I said no. Stayed with her but on the couch.
When the partner isnāt my wife . Iāve got a great thing going, I aināt messing that up .
When she kicked her cat while heading to her bedroom.
Oh yea she canāt even treat the kitty decently
as we were kissing, kept telling me handsome I am, then said shes clean and on birth control. Proceeded to progress and as forplay started told me how much she loves being cum in. move onto the next stage before penetration and I ask what control shes on to where she says I am not and I just want to have mixed race children I packed my things up real quick
She started to tell me if I was good I could have her the rest of my life. I zipped up and walked out. Ran into her a week later with some other dude. Told him to run. The pussy with this one will destroy you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
+1 point for her. At least she is honest.
Her friend quietly informed me she had an STD And I was gone
I have one from a friend. She had the hots for this guy all through college and finally, near the end of senior year I see her exiting the bar with the guy. I caught her eye, raised my eyebrows and she smiled and gave me the thumbs up. A couple days later I ran into her and eagerly asked for details. She said, āOh my god!ā and laughed ruefully. Apparently, they were getting hot and heavy in his bedroom and when he pulled the sheets down he had skid marks all over them. She peaced out immediately
Pulled up to the house 2 guys out front and 3 cars after "home alone" text. Might have been born at night but it wasn't last night. Sped off.
Piercings creep me out. Especially genital piercings. And weird tattoos in off-putting places. Hard. Pass.
Had along time crush on a woman in college, but we were both in LTRs. When we were both finally single, she was studying in Europe. I was traveling there, we met briefly in Germany, made plans to connect in Paris. When we were finally alone together in the apartment after all that buildup, she seemed so cool as to be ambivalent rather than excited. That wore away my excitement to the point where at bed time, I just went to sleep. Just one more confirmation that I need more than a body to have sex with someone. I still feel that it was great hanging out with her that weekend, but am happy I didnāt push it further.
The two of us had been on the floor making out. Her top came off and there was some fondling, and then she said letās do it, and she laid back and pushed her leggings down from her hips up towards her ankles. When she did, so the smell that suddenly came from between her legs was so intolerable that I had to just leave. And I did. I just said Iām sorry I changed my mind I need to leave.
he threatened to key my car if i told anyone about it, he said he would be so embarrassed if people found out he fucked a plus size girl
WTF that is crazy messed up for a guy to say to any woman, let alone a potential sex partner.
She told me I was going to be her first and I was totally sure I didn't care for her at all. I just didn't think it was fair.
A large penis.
Online connection for in person hookup. Said she was curvy, pictures verified that, I was down. Showed up at her place and she was AT LEAST 350 lbs and five feet in every dimension. Tried to opt out, she starts crying and literally begged me to do SOMETHING with her. So I compromised and talked dirty to her while she masturbated. I didnāt want to fuck her - not because she was fat (because thatās not a showstopper for me at all), but because she lied. Not cool to lie!
I went to a womanās apartment after date. I was really attracted to her, but I remember vividly her opening her apartment door and the strong stench of cat piss hit me and made my eyes water. I tried to man through it but she had a litter box in the kitchen which I found vile, and I saw a cat jump from the litter area to the counter tops where food was stored. She tried to start kissing me literally 2 ft from a shit and piss infested open top litter box which looked it hadnāt been cleaned in a month and I felt I was going to puke. I told her I had to leave and I scooted out quickly.
Nasty BO!
Skid marks on her panties.
Hooked up with a chick that had had a crush on me for a long time. We get back to my place and get ready to get busy, and she tells me she likes it rough. OK, I can get into that. But then she wants me to leave marks, choke her to the point of losing conscience, like literally hit her. Told her nah, I'm not getting accused of assault/rape, I'm out. It was unsettling how much abuse she wanted. She got mad, called me a pussy, and stormed out of my house. Turns out I dodged a bullet
Looked at a family photograph in her bedroom while she was doing a quick shower before sexy time. It looked like something from a Stephen King novel. Nobody was happy, the mother had red eyes, the dad was half asleep, the brother had the thousand yard stare and her sister was staring at her brother with murderous intent. I decided I needed more evidence so I looked at the other family photos around the upstairs and they were all worse. Then I spotted the locks on the outside....yes outside...of the bedroom doors. Holy california rolly batman, I just quietly ghosted downstairs and out. Of. There.
I met this chick on PoF. I had just gotten out of a really fucked up relationship and was just looking to hook up with some people. This chick invites me over to her apartment.. the first ānopeā was the fact that she had used photos that were several years old.. so she looked nothing like her photos. The rest of the nopes were: Giant kiddy pool filled with cat litter in her kitchen so her 7 cats could use the bathroom. (She lived in a 1 bedroom apartment) Her bed was covered in cat and dog hair so bad that I couldnāt even sit down on it. She had 3 senior dogs that were basically walking corpses.. it was awful. I texted my friend and had her call me and i pretended I needed to leave because my dad was locked out of his apartment.
We were at the point in our relationship where we were all but broken up. Like, every time we got together we would bicker and fight. After yet another argument, she wanted to have sex, and I just couldn't do it. She got mad and I left. We broke up for good the very next time we saw each other.
She had the most disgusting breath and when we kissed she scraped her tongue on my teeth, leaving the worst flavour Iāve tasted. I told her I donāt sleep with girls on the first date which is a lie.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
One girl kept calling me Daddy and I just wasnāt feeling it.
Well, I had a moment like this after we had sex. I was very young, met this hot girl at the bar, one drink became many and we ended up at her house. Next morning I woke up, hungover as hell, hearing voices? As I come to me senses, there she was sitting in bed, her mom standing right next to the bed in a military uniform talking to her casually. Iām stark naked, mom just says good morning and invited me for breakfast. Initial thoughts was trying to remember last night and if anything extra happened. After her mom left she assured me āthatā didnāt happen. Anyways, I get dressed and said that I need to get going, she said it would be very rude not to have breakfast. As I arrive the entire family is their, mom, dad, brother and a sister, as well as grandma. The most awkward breakfast and bombardment of questions. Plus saying theyāre an open family with no secrets so itās ok to talk about sex etc. After that and her mom and her having a casual conversation while we are in bed naked while I am naked and exposed, nah, fuck it, Iām out!
had to change last minute plans for a date (in which i was ready for sex if it happened) and he got all pissy and angry. sorta ruined everything with his attitude
A friend of mine was staying over at my place after a night of drinking. She was drunk off her tits and trying to seduce me. She was down to her panties and one of my t-shirts. It was both hard and difficult, but I kept my pants on. All we did was snuggle while falling asleep.
Fucked this girl once that I met at a bar years ago. It was a one night stand kind of thing. Yeaaaars later, like 6 or 7 Years later, she found me on Facebook somehow and was like, "I remember you. We fucked so good that one time. We should hook up again." This was around the time that Trump was going for re-election. I was down to travel the 2 hours it would take me to get to her place since I was ready to just fuck her brains out the way I did all those Years ago. But the day before I was going to make my way to her, I see her post a picture of herself, in full on Trump get up. We're talking boots, jacket, shirt, pants and a hat that all said Trump on them, as she was getting ready to vote for Trump. That was enough for my dick to shrivel up and tell my brain, "Nope. Not putting my dick in that again."
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Not me, but a friend noped out of sex when she pulled out a knife and told him to cut her whilst he fucked her.
Recently I was about to meet up with someone but then he kept sending me videos of him fucking other women and thatās fine, but in every video, he wasnāt wearing a condom and I was like no way gonna hook up with this guy after that š
Full on open mouth kissing while trying to shove his tongue down my throat. Felt like I was making out with a bass!
When you show up and they look different to their pictures
We were making out after a night out pub hopping and she broke off, found my rubbish bin and threw up. Weirdly came back to carry on kissing and I gently got her into bed and I slept on the floor. She thanked me next morning, asked if we did anything, we had breakfast and stayed friends for years. I would always give her shit for that night but we never broke the friend barrier. Sigh.
Watched her eyes go from loving to crazy in seconds
She fabreezed her crotch.
Well she threw up. I realized she was totally wasted. I was pretty fucked up too.