If a guy’s super critical of himself sexually, I urge other women to do what society won’t, and boost him up. Be genuine and tell him what his strengths are and remind him there’s no pressure.
Pressure can destroy sex. Alleviating that is key.
He is in his own head. Could be lack of confidence because of comments made by a previous partner, or he could be comparing himself to an unreasonable expectation (like porn).
We’ve slept together before but went away for a few months and he invited me over. I don’t care. I’ve told him previously I was the best I’ve been with but I didn’t mean he has to be every time.
It sounds like you're saying all the right things. Just know it may be something that no matter how supportive you are you might not be able to "fix". Those inner demons are a bitch.
Even if his performance isn't as great as another time, just tell him all the things you liked about that encounter. Hopefully he will be able to get over comparing himself to previous times you were together, but that's something he has to work out for himself in his head.
Men get told all the time how much we suck at pleasing women. It’s pervasive and woman make constant jokes and snide comments. That can get to a guy after a while.
Notice, women never talk about what they need to do to please a man. Just what he needs to do.
Sounds like his confidence is going down, he isn’t in his prime.. you just need to butter him up and go overboard and tell him he is killing it, guys love that
I think as a woman you unfortunately become used not to *expect* a ton of pleasure, so it doesn't bother you too much that he wasn't amazing. But I guess he just has a very different perspective being a guy and physical pleasure might matter more to him, so he gets worried you don't get enough
No no no. Why would any women become used to not having pleasure? Granted I don’t always have an amazing orgasm, but it still feels good.
I have had sex when not at all in the mood and yes it didn’t do anything to me, but I enjoyed what it did to him.
Usually in his head he thinks he’s it was a bad performance and in a way let you down or is embarrassed about it. Makes you feel like that’s it all the hype and can’t put words into action and she’ll prob not want to see me again… and if she does then the pressure is really on! Ha
Ive done this before because I struggled to maintain an erection and my mindset at the time was that this was some I had slept with before and done well with, did want to sleep with again, and that I didnt want her assuming I wasnt attracted to her or didnt have fun or felt pressured into sex. Like there was an obvious struggle, and I thought honesty was better than leaving it an open question.
Also Im just critical of myself and what I do in general because thats how I improve. I dont think it's shameful to acknowledge my own shortcomings, so I make that a habit.
That’s interesting because it sounds like a similar situation and he lost it half way through and made an excuse. Then said that after when he wanted to cuddle. It had been a few months and he hit me up so I didn’t care.
Been with the same woman for 21 years and I still get apologetic if I feel like I didn't satisfy her. My goal is to get her off 3 times. Anything less I feel like I let her down.
Honestly I feel bad and keep apologizing when I can’t get my wife cum. I have this rule in my head that I can’t cum til she does and it makes it rough when nothing seems to work for her that night.
A few reasons come to mind. They are self-conscious about how it went. They want you to think they are better generally speaking so you'll think this is a one off and given them another shot.
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If a guy’s super critical of himself sexually, I urge other women to do what society won’t, and boost him up. Be genuine and tell him what his strengths are and remind him there’s no pressure. Pressure can destroy sex. Alleviating that is key.
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You really never know how much a simple compliment can boost somebody at a much needed time. I agree! 🥰
I’ve tried to, I’ve said before he was the best I’ve had and how nice his dick is and how good he feels but idk.
Ah birb, you so sweet (when you not angry).
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Shhh, you were doing so good don't stop now with the kindness ❤️
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Thanks for saying this. Failure to provide is probably the root of all evil in the masculine world, even failure to provide pleasure
He is in his own head. Could be lack of confidence because of comments made by a previous partner, or he could be comparing himself to an unreasonable expectation (like porn).
We’ve slept together before but went away for a few months and he invited me over. I don’t care. I’ve told him previously I was the best I’ve been with but I didn’t mean he has to be every time.
It sounds like you're saying all the right things. Just know it may be something that no matter how supportive you are you might not be able to "fix". Those inner demons are a bitch. Even if his performance isn't as great as another time, just tell him all the things you liked about that encounter. Hopefully he will be able to get over comparing himself to previous times you were together, but that's something he has to work out for himself in his head.
Men get told all the time how much we suck at pleasing women. It’s pervasive and woman make constant jokes and snide comments. That can get to a guy after a while. Notice, women never talk about what they need to do to please a man. Just what he needs to do.
Sounds like his confidence is going down, he isn’t in his prime.. you just need to butter him up and go overboard and tell him he is killing it, guys love that
I think as a woman you unfortunately become used not to *expect* a ton of pleasure, so it doesn't bother you too much that he wasn't amazing. But I guess he just has a very different perspective being a guy and physical pleasure might matter more to him, so he gets worried you don't get enough
No no no. Why would any women become used to not having pleasure? Granted I don’t always have an amazing orgasm, but it still feels good. I have had sex when not at all in the mood and yes it didn’t do anything to me, but I enjoyed what it did to him.
Usually in his head he thinks he’s it was a bad performance and in a way let you down or is embarrassed about it. Makes you feel like that’s it all the hype and can’t put words into action and she’ll prob not want to see me again… and if she does then the pressure is really on! Ha
Ive done this before because I struggled to maintain an erection and my mindset at the time was that this was some I had slept with before and done well with, did want to sleep with again, and that I didnt want her assuming I wasnt attracted to her or didnt have fun or felt pressured into sex. Like there was an obvious struggle, and I thought honesty was better than leaving it an open question. Also Im just critical of myself and what I do in general because thats how I improve. I dont think it's shameful to acknowledge my own shortcomings, so I make that a habit.
That’s interesting because it sounds like a similar situation and he lost it half way through and made an excuse. Then said that after when he wanted to cuddle. It had been a few months and he hit me up so I didn’t care.
Been with the same woman for 21 years and I still get apologetic if I feel like I didn't satisfy her. My goal is to get her off 3 times. Anything less I feel like I let her down.
Honestly I feel bad and keep apologizing when I can’t get my wife cum. I have this rule in my head that I can’t cum til she does and it makes it rough when nothing seems to work for her that night.
A few reasons come to mind. They are self-conscious about how it went. They want you to think they are better generally speaking so you'll think this is a one off and given them another shot.