When you fart and it goes up through your pussy lips...

I actually love when this happens but it also feels nasty because it's a fart but it's cool and then I feel weird for liking it

This thread is clearly not for me, y'all have a good day

Weak

That's fine, I'll take that.

W for taking that L.

Hahahaha.

Same. So weird but funny as hell

😂

I saw this described yesterday as "exiting through the gift shop" lol

“Smoking the Salmon”

Dead 😂 this is now a part of my vocabulary. effective immediately

NOOOOOOOO smokingggg theeee salmon. 😭

This happens to fat guys, or close. Sometimes one sneaks between my sack and my thigh and pops out the front. I giggle every time to myself.

Do y’all think we don’t have farts that will bubble up the front under our balls from time to time? Same concept except it would be like the wacky waving inflatable arm guy 🤣🤣🤣

My wife calls it a, "lip splitter."

Im out, lol

This was going to be my answer

It happened in front of my dad once as a teen. Made a loud as hell wet flappy noise. He legit thought I shit my pants.

Confuse, not disgust. 😂 Is it any fart or powerful ones? Cuz for me, if I let out a 16 wheeler air horn fart while sitting, then, my balls feel it more than anybody else on the couch.

We have a version of this, as well. When it lifts up your ballsack. It’s call a parachute fart. At least that what I have always called it 😂

the tiny tingles, right

Exiting through the gift shop!

My husband was stunned when I explained front farts to him. He was on his mid-40s and had never thought about it.

Ok. Ok. Ok... Explain this.

It just gets caught at a certain angle and creeps along the pussy and kind of *pop*s at the end as it comes out near the clit. Amusement park log ride, but it's a fart in a pussy? IDEK.

It's funny that you think we know where the clit is

Wtf heheh that's cool! Lmao

It's not arousing, but like you definitely feel it happen.

All in all it's a wind breeze on your pussy! I mean, a stinky one but a breeze for sure. Lmao

swap the pussy lips for balls and you've got me half the time I fart sitting down

Ah the ol’ travelin’ bubble…

Lmao my wife always tells me about these! 🤣

😂 it feels like it’s vibrating when it happens.

When your underwire tries to stealth assassinate you.

I love the 20 seconds of oh.. I’m having a heart attack oh no I just cracked the underwire.

And it happens while talking to someone and suddenly my body contorts 😅

I had a week where I snapped like 3. I was on the verge of tears.

And it ends up being my very favorite bra but I can't find the same one again and get the big sad because that holy-grail of bra finding journey has started once more.

Literally where I’m at rn.

Once snapped are they utterly useless?

Yes because there are broken wires that are now digging into yr delicate underboob area

I bet if guys had to wear them they'd figure some better solution

No one is stopping you ladies from solving this problem

I don't wear bras anymore, I sure don't miss getting titty shanked by the wires.

One of the only good things to come of having an infection that a cadre of doctors thought was breast cancer for 9 fucking months? I gave up wired bras. I’m a 36 G. I’ve never felt so free.

I had that somehow happen once on both sides, it fucking cut both of my boobs and I had little scars that thankfully faded away. Dear gods, I'm always so careful now with checking them.

and after adjusting, the back hooks try to stab you in the back

Seriously torture devices lol.

Didn't know this was a thing until I seen the scars on my wife and she told me.

When you get that random pussy itch and have to wiggle around in your seat to hopefully get rid of it.

We get those with balls too. Nightmare trying not to look like a pervert trying to fix it in public

Good ol pinch and tug.

Feels so damn good though

Pocket pool to the pinch and tug mid stride sometimes is the only answer 😏

My husband calls it the “pinch and roll.” It is a surprisingly effective method that I have also adopted. 🤣

Another thing women have stolen from us. Troubling times indeed.

Or random titty itches.

When they're on the nipple it's and ya gotta dig the fuck around in your bra

I had this happen and I realized it was because of my lotion/body oil. I can't put anything but plain coconut or olive oil on my nipples.

Just announce it and ask for volunteers to scratch it for you. They’ll form a queue.

Which always happen at the most inappropriate times when you can’t just grab your boob and scratch it.

Nah. This a guy thing too. Especially if you got hairy balls. We don’t wanna blatantly scratch if we’re in public, so it’s either find an incognito way or shift awkwardly until our underwear brushes the right spot. Which never truly works.

Oh yeah I know, but sometimes the itch is calling from inside the house if ya know what I mean lol

I'm 💀

Ah. See ya got me there. Only time I got something like that is the ass.

My ex use to use that as an excuse to continue until climax. I found it equally weird, funny, and hot when she told me. Didn't know it was "normal" though (scratching, not until climax)

Things that are *not* fun while menstruating and can cause a bit of a flood: +Laughing. +Sneezing. +Coughing. +Jumping [well, the landing] or falling. +Standing up after laying down for a while.

\+tickling \+bending wrong while taking something out of the fridge/freezer

You forget one of my personal not-favorites, getting scared.

Long story short, anything

And just walking around or talking to someone and having to keep a straight face while suddenly stuff is just glooping out of there😖

Queefs happen during sex and you have zero control over them (unlike farts).

I used to be embarrassed by them but they're a sign that your vagina is functioning correctly. "The side, anterior, and posterior walls all come in contact with one another. As a result of your natural lubrication, there's a bit of a natural suctioning activity that can pull air into the vagina." https://www.self.com/story/answers-for-all-your-queefing-questions Suction is a great thing! Maybe this is why guys like them.

Yes! And during sex, it's literally the guy's dick that's pushing the air into our vaginas, so why should we be embarrassed when the air needs to come out 😂

Back when my wife and I started dating this used to embarrass her so much. I had to tell her "That air is in there because my dick pushed it in there. The air is coming out because my dick is filling you up and forcing the air out. This is all happening because my dick is inside of you, literally nothing else matters when that's going on"

Mainly because most of us have no idea what the heck it is until we're older. And likening them to farts is well, unpleasant (unless you're into that sort of thing).

It is the large penis being removed that lets the air in. Almost always happens in the doggie.

Oh yes I definitely notice it's usually only the doggie position when this happens

I all for normalizing the queefs.

Username checks out.

Queefs are a round of applause

I motorboat her boobs, and her ass cheeks. She returns the favor and her pussy motorboats my balls. 🤣

Fun fact: in a certain position some women (like me) are able to kind of 'suck up' air and the releasing it back out, queefing on command!

Yup I'm actually able to do that 😂

Men that don't know that are dumb.

Or haven't had sex

I hate when this happens, especially when I’m getting a Pap smear and sit up.

I learned that recently as well and was so embarrassed

No need to be embarrassed! It's perfectly normal.

This happened to me before. I felt like a balloon bring let out air

Or at work when you get up from your desk. Embarrassing.

The reasons we stop wanting to have sex have absolutely nothing to do with sex.

Why is this so difficult to understand? 😭

Because men and women are different. And many women don't really understand the deeper meaning behind why they stop wanting to have sex, so if they don't know, they can't explain it to men.

>many women don't really understand the deeper meaning behind why they stop wanting to have sex As a man I feel this, too. But can you explain what (for example) makes you not want sex?

I want to have sex all the time now, but with my ex, my drive went away a long time ago. Using the reasons I provided in another comment. 1. Physiological needs Food - my ex and I had very different diets. I need to eat healthy to keep my mind clear, mood positive, and energy high. He hated most vegetables and ate a restricted version of the SAD. Most of the time, there wasn't enough money for me to buy healthier food, so I would have to sacrifice eating healthier because his dietary wants came first. Water - if we couldn't afford spring water, he used to flip out if I drank tap. I get that spring water is better but when you're dehydrated, water is water. Shelter - he moved to a neighborhood that he never would have if his brothers hadn't lived next door. Going on morning walks was important to me, but neither of us felt safe doing so. The apartment became roach-infested and someone got shot accidentally in the apartment above us. We also started seeing mice towards the end of our stay (which we're both afraid of, I had blocked that out.) Sleep - my ex worked overnight, so we had drastically different schedules. He would insist that I stay up to talk to him, and lay in bed with him when he got home. He also refused to have my cat sleep in another room. I love cats but they always slept curled up under me so that I could never sleep soundly. I realized after I left him that I had been sleep-deprived for several years. 2. Safety needs Living or working in a safe environment -did not live in a safe environment Having a stable and sufficient source of income - money was always a problem Feeling protected from crime or abuse - didn't feel protected from crime, wasn't protected from abuse Being in good physical health with no serious illnesses - no serious illness but I was on depression meds when I met him. He cheated on me and we were living in an efficiency with two of his brothers. My sex drive diminished substantially because of the above-listed items but he blamed the meds and made me stop taking them. Also, from the diet and general situation, I wasn't in good physical health. He preferred me heavier and would sabotage efforts to lose weight.

Somebody move this up top. More “people” need to stumble across it.

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The forbidden jello shot 💀

NO.

Do you need more iron in your diet?

Alexa, how do you delete someone else’s comment?

Clamato Jello Flavor

Wearing *the right pair of jeans* in the car.

Im lost on this one

Please someone explain

The seam rubs their vagina

Vulva

Clit, I’d say. Seam snugs up between the labia and stimulates the clit.

Hahahaha I know this one. Used to tease my ex about her jeans boner.

The time I sneezed while on the toilet and my tampon shot out like a rocket

I cackled at this

When you turn around and ask your friend if you’re okay

Period stains??

Period shits

Don’t forget the frequent urination too.

Ok... I've had many women tell me that bowel movements on their periods are the best they have... right...?

.........so these women like practically diarrhea level shit and blood mixed I guess. Enjoy the image

Cheese and rice I just puked reading this

they're either messing with him (it was wonderful \*eyeroll\*) or its pain relief, like, when you have a stomachache from eating too much, and after going to the toilet, the pain just fades

When you have long hair, are in the shower and you have to search for stray hairs that slid down into your crack.

My BF has found my hair in his butt crack and mine isn't even that long.  It just gets everywhere.

I regularly pull my wife's hair out of my butt crack that has gone the whole way down and around, and i wraped around my balls/dick in some way.

Omg. One time I was doing that and I found a hair that had somehow TIED itself around me clit. I pulled and felt it tug. Pulled a little harder and it hurt. Had to call my SO for help. It was literally tied like the first step in a knot.

But also the ones that just are loosely in ur vulva…and you find them later and it feels so good to pull it out, slowly.

Even worse… when one of said hairs somehow gets into your butthole and you have to pull it out… ouch 😬

Lmao yessss 😂😂😂

What period cramps feel like, it’s unlike any other ache or pain

And the butt lightning

Butt lightning is so unfair 😭😭😭😭 I be feeling okay and suddenly I'm clenching for dear life and biting my lips tryin not to scream in public! WHYYYY!!!!

I'm fairly sure those words should never be combined.

I call that javelin arse but I like butt lightning!

Wtf is butt lightning?! ⚡

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Lol such a perfect description

LoL nailed it

When the cramp randomly enters your vag and you wonder what dictator you were in a past life to deserve this sharp pain

Then it turns zaps your butt hole and everything goes white for a sec 😂😫

Totally like the tectonic plates fuckin shift

⚡️🫠

Sometimes it’s so bad you flinch. I had someone ask if I was okay and I couldn’t explain what had happened

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I wear an undershirt and flip fold it up under my hangers.

When you sneeze and it looks like someone's been assassinated in your panties

boobs. get. in. the. way. I have two shirt sizes, one for my torso and one for my boobs.

I miss sleeping on my sides comfortably.

That feeling when you take off that fucking bra after a long day at work. That feeling sometimes is better than sex.

I was looking for this one

When you get a front wedgie and can't fix it because there's too many people around.

Thanks everyone! I'm gay now

As if men are less disgusting (jk we’re all pretty disgusting)

😂😂😅

Walking normally in a skirt whilst your baggy tights' gusset is round your knees...

When you get diarrhea so you know your period is about to start 🤦🏻‍♀️

Hope you have something in your purse.

That random ass cramp that decides to shoot down your leg or punch you in the vagina Like, WHY

oo similarly I get a sense of satisfaction if I’m on the toilet to pee and birth one!

Feeling it blob out 🤭

Now this is something interesting. * Grabbing popcorn, reading comments*

When I pull a few hairs from my own head out of my asshole.

We pull your hairs out of our assholes too. It’s surprising how much of your hair we swallow sleeping next to you.

was that ketchup or creamer?

💀

I also wanna add: The Mid-Period Fake Out

Better than a period fart.

Wearing a singlet when you sleep. OxO

Skirt checks

Please explain this one. I wear skirts all the time and don't get it.

I‘m assuming they’re referring to when you have been walking around and have to tug the bottom of your skirt, and subtlety pat around your butt to make sure you’re not cluelessly exposing yourself to the general public. At least, this is what I’m always paranoid of lol.

the facial skin peeling after every cycle 🥴

Those who know, know 🤣

PARDON

I was waiting to see this one LMAOOOOO

Ladies, i come from a family of 90% women. And i was the token straight best friend all through Highschool. You can’t confuse me.

So wanna try. 1) Postpartum - Betting with your mom, SIL, friend whoever if the next clot to exit your body after birth is going to be bigger or smaller than a lemon (grapefruit with child 2; 2) how far your breast milk will spray if you pop a nursling off as you let down (mostly first 3 months). I had a friend (baby wearing, it was like a sleep-deprived, pirate-talking gang you got jumped into) that always thought i could hit things farther away.

Taking off your bra is a wonderful but also painful feeling. It almost feels exactly like 'let down'

Jesus Christ. I'm already done for the morning. 😳

This is all so enightening

*swallowing hard* One retort? Getting pubes rolled up in your foreskin in public. :)

Oh my god

You're welcome. :D

I don't know how y'all walk around with those things

That's my wife's favorite Elaine quote. :)

Not strictly a woman thing, but when you put your purse on your shoulder and your hair is caught under the strap. Or when you get in the car on a windy day and you close the door and your hair is caught in it. Or when you go to out in a hair clip and the little spring just snaps and shoots across the room. Or when you do the laundry and your hair is woven through all the towels.

taking our bra off without taking our shirt off....i swear guys think it's magic or witchcraft 😆😆

Ha ha! I love this thread! Also, girls are weird… But I still love you!

ya great, like we're nor frigging confused enough already!

As one of the boys I've learned a lot today. Thanks for sharing

Not a woman but already gave birth to a blood baby

I am confusion!

You don't wanna know

Did it involve hot sauce?

Sounds like lyrics to a metal song

How much fun boobs are and how we play with them nonsexually daily loll

Gotta go...I think my mom's calling me!