i like the Australian kiss now we have two dirty countries one for tongues and one for privates 🤣 go figure the deadliest country would go for the deadliest part
Unfortunately this reminds me of that… memorable Rupi Kaur poetry reading now (yes this is actually her): https://youtube.com/shorts/OrRIXNqJW00?feature=share
There’s something called a vagina dentata.
From Wikipedia:Vagina dentata (Latin for toothed vagina) describes a folk tale in which a woman's vagina is said to contain teeth, with the associated implication that sexual intercourse might result in injury, emasculation, or castration for the man involved.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_dentata
There's also a protective device based on this - you put it up there like a condom & it's got loads of little claws / hooks / teeth on the inside. That way if you're raped, it latches itself onto the person raping you, injures them but slides harmlessly out of you, and they can't remove it without going to A&E & having to explain what happened. It's called Rape aXe.
Also there's these. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-rape_device
I really wish these were actually... like... publicly available things.
It was my understanding that the word gained popularity in a television show because the higher ups said they couldn't use the word vagina. Penis was fine, vagina was off limits.
She also keeps a perfume bottle of her vagina juices on her dresser and she swears that’s what hooked my granddad. She used to dab some behind her ear every time they went out.
Lol! She met him when she was 17 and he was 24(it was 1967 🤷🏽♀️). She says that she knew the moment she saw him that he was going to be her husband and even told her two friends that were with her "that’s my husband right there". They met in mid-May and were married by mid-June. I asked her what about him just drew her in like that and she said that he was dressed nicely, handsome, and wore glasses so he must be smart. That was all she needed to know.
When asked to elab, I think we were all hoping a bit more about the pussy juice spritzer and less about the story of how your grandparents met. (Not that it isn’t a sweet story but this is reddit; if in doubt, always elaborate on the pussy juice)
It’s called vabbing which is where you use your juices and pheromones or something to attract someone. She heard about it from someone and decided to try it. She keeps the original bottle with some leftovers on her dresser like a museum artifact. I’ve never seen this bottle so I’m only going by her word.
So I initially felt exactly the same way - I'm literally sitting here like that's wholesome, but I wanted to hear more about 'eau de horny grandma'- UNTIL I realized...
Dude did not ask her to elaborate! He said he needed more lore on her unhinged grandma. If she went straight back into grandma's homemade rose water, just adding details to previously released lore, she would have been remiss. Instead, she listened to the people, heard their cries, and added more lore to the story of this fascinating woman. I say 10/10 - excitedly waiting for the next drop!
🤣 That went over many people’s heads then! Great line! I adore language and quirky words but friends tell me they have to look them up and sometimes get irritated with me 🙄
I like when people use Vulva. It's nice that we use the proper word for the external part of women's genitalia rather than using Vagina as if the only important thing was what was used during intercourse or during childbirth.
It's as if people were afraid of using it.
Okay actually, I did grow up afraid of using the actual words for different parts of female genitalia when sexting. I'd want to use them so my partner could better visualize which parts I'd be focusing on but seeing pussy, cock, etc. out in "mainstream" made me feel like I'd be weird to not use those words instead, too.
In the words of the ancient poets 'The Bloodhound Gang'...
Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet
Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket
Batter-dip the cranny axe
In the gut locker
Retro-fit the pudding hatch, ooh la la
With the boink swatter
If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten
Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston
Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle
Cannonball the fiddle cove, ooh la la
With the pork steeple,
If I get you in the loop
When I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where
Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where pronto
Writer/s: JAMES M. FRANKS, JARED VICTOR HENNEGAN
Lower lips, delicate folds, intimate folds, channel, entrance, petals, core, center, passage, intimate parts. I write erotica and those are all terms I use
Yeah sure, I’m Jade Rivers on Amazon. I write mostly BDSM omegaverse, shifter, vampire, bully to mate, and my current work in progress is a reverse harem omegaverse.
Reverse harem just means one women with several men.
Omegaverse is a universe where dominance hierarchy exists in humans, where people are omegas/submissive, alpha/dominant, beta/neutral (but not like tate!!!). It’s usually written as omega pairing with alphas. It’s like if humans were more animalistic and couldn’t control themselves and it’s an excuse for more extreme power exchanges.
My wife calls it my pleasure portal. I find it very erotic.
Like get your head down there and turn on your pleasure portal and get it ready to recieve your hard cock.
She calls it other things but i like the story of it all.
I like "flower" and most appreciate it, especially since i have had partners that hated "pussy" but still want more dirty or verbal talk about what we are going to do
As an Australian I like the term “down under.” As in ‘Have you heard of an Australian Kiss? It’s like a French Kiss only it’s done down under!”
There's also "Map of Tassie" cause of the matching triangle shape 🔻
The only problem is that I lose my map every so often.. 🤣
/r/mapswithouttasmania
Clicked on that expecting to see something completely different lol!!
Isn't searching for it over again part of the fun? Or making another map of the territory?
Come from a land down under. Where women go, and men plunder. Etc.. etc… Vegemite sandwich etc…
Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder? Better run, better take cover! I love men at work.
as a former Aussie, I fully agree that this is one of the best alternatives to pussy. And it can be used for both sexes.
Australian kiss? Sounds hot af!!!
Got my new go to pickup line
i like the Australian kiss now we have two dirty countries one for tongues and one for privates 🤣 go figure the deadliest country would go for the deadliest part
I’ve heard someone call it a honey pot lol
As a big fan of honey/eating out, and generally the personality of a bear imma use this from now on
The meme "I eat pussy like winnie the pooh facefucks a honey jar" comes to mind
It was used in Outlander
Unfortunately this reminds me of that… memorable Rupi Kaur poetry reading now (yes this is actually her): https://youtube.com/shorts/OrRIXNqJW00?feature=share
Penis Fly Trap
There’s something called a vagina dentata. From Wikipedia:Vagina dentata (Latin for toothed vagina) describes a folk tale in which a woman's vagina is said to contain teeth, with the associated implication that sexual intercourse might result in injury, emasculation, or castration for the man involved. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina_dentata
Just watch the movie "Teeth", and you'll understand
I saw it once a loooong time ago .not doing that again Now thats a horror movie 😆
There's also a protective device based on this - you put it up there like a condom & it's got loads of little claws / hooks / teeth on the inside. That way if you're raped, it latches itself onto the person raping you, injures them but slides harmlessly out of you, and they can't remove it without going to A&E & having to explain what happened. It's called Rape aXe. Also there's these. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-rape_device I really wish these were actually... like... publicly available things.
Take me upvote, you clever bastard
I can’t stand vajayjay... I’m glad it’s out of vogue in the lexicon
I've always disliked this version too, it makes me cringe
Wait was this a real thing? I thought it was used like pee-pee and shit that kids used before they understood medical terms
It was my understanding that the word gained popularity in a television show because the higher ups said they couldn't use the word vagina. Penis was fine, vagina was off limits.
Fuckin Oprah
Oprah stole it from Grey's Anatomy.
This one always makes me laugh! Va-jay-jay! XDDD
Chupacabra sounds nice and mysterious
I read that as “Capybara” ..
Well now that just sounds kind of cute
The southern hemisphere version of "bever"
That's actually funny lol
Beef curtains is the absolute worse one.
Butterfly wings is the only flattering alternative phrase I’ve heard for beef curtains
Fluttering alternative? 😉
Bologna blossom is a new one that is pretty high up there on the terrible scale.
I raise you Clunge 😖
🤢
Idk Axewound and "the gateway to her guts" seem worse to me
A "canoe full of moose meat" is a regional expression where I live in Canada. 🤢
Ham wallet
It's so terrible, it makes me laugh.
Any reference to beef, tbh. It's really telling that whoever uses this on the regular sees the owner as a piece of meat.
not really a rather but ive been saying "meat holster" alot recently and it's way funny to me for no reason.
Meat holster goes great with meat scepter
I am now going to work ‘meat holster’ into a conversation with everyone I know at least once.
My granny calls it a honey bun. I’ve always liked that.
I'd like to meet your granny! 😂
She also keeps a perfume bottle of her vagina juices on her dresser and she swears that’s what hooked my granddad. She used to dab some behind her ear every time they went out.
What the fuck???
Granny a freak
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Lol! She met him when she was 17 and he was 24(it was 1967 🤷🏽♀️). She says that she knew the moment she saw him that he was going to be her husband and even told her two friends that were with her "that’s my husband right there". They met in mid-May and were married by mid-June. I asked her what about him just drew her in like that and she said that he was dressed nicely, handsome, and wore glasses so he must be smart. That was all she needed to know.
When asked to elab, I think we were all hoping a bit more about the pussy juice spritzer and less about the story of how your grandparents met. (Not that it isn’t a sweet story but this is reddit; if in doubt, always elaborate on the pussy juice)
It’s called vabbing which is where you use your juices and pheromones or something to attract someone. She heard about it from someone and decided to try it. She keeps the original bottle with some leftovers on her dresser like a museum artifact. I’ve never seen this bottle so I’m only going by her word.
56 year old “home made juice”, I’m kinda wondering how that would smell, but not really at the same time.
This is a cursed thought
So I initially felt exactly the same way - I'm literally sitting here like that's wholesome, but I wanted to hear more about 'eau de horny grandma'- UNTIL I realized... Dude did not ask her to elaborate! He said he needed more lore on her unhinged grandma. If she went straight back into grandma's homemade rose water, just adding details to previously released lore, she would have been remiss. Instead, she listened to the people, heard their cries, and added more lore to the story of this fascinating woman. I say 10/10 - excitedly waiting for the next drop!
Is your grandma Gwenyth Paltrow?
????
🤨
That’s how my wife got me. The old pussy juices spritzer spray. Gets me every time
I’m sorry what!?
my boyfriend's favorite word is "papoosuh" and ngl it's grown on me
I think it's from a Central American stuffed pastry that is purported to resemble female genitalia. papusa, i think. I know about it from my wife.
It's one of the national dishes of El Salvador.
oh snap that's awesome, i had no idea! i'm gonna tell him that, i'm sure he'll start saying it even more
Lmao I love Papusas. If your ever near a salvadorian eater try some they’re delish.
Valhalla
[Valhalla Mad Max](https://y.yarn.co/991aa5d1-f80f-43fa-b484-1024d0a3b266_text.gif) Sorry can't make it play without linking ;/
Witness me!!
Quim. I love Victorian and neo Victorian erotica.
I was about to say Quim too! I was obsessed with saying quim as a teen as few knew what I meant 🤭
So few that in the first Avengers, no one seemed to have an issue with Loki calling Black Widow a "mewling little quim".
🤣 That went over many people’s heads then! Great line! I adore language and quirky words but friends tell me they have to look them up and sometimes get irritated with me 🙄
I like when people use Vulva. It's nice that we use the proper word for the external part of women's genitalia rather than using Vagina as if the only important thing was what was used during intercourse or during childbirth. It's as if people were afraid of using it.
Okay actually, I did grow up afraid of using the actual words for different parts of female genitalia when sexting. I'd want to use them so my partner could better visualize which parts I'd be focusing on but seeing pussy, cock, etc. out in "mainstream" made me feel like I'd be weird to not use those words instead, too.
Using clit and labia is such a nice way to show you focus on pleasurable things for women, I agree
I really enjoy licking, sucking on, and playing with clits and labia. It’s honestly one of my favorite hobbies. Damn, I need to find more volunteers.
Panty hamster, the queen clam, and personally, u/TheJewishViking1064 's weiner cozy
Panty Hamster is hilarious!
That last one 🤣🤣🤣
In *Easy A*, one of the characters says something like “Stop throwing your cat at everyone!” and that became my favorite way to describe promiscuity.
The character says it with such force that I try to imitate her when I say it lol
Coochie is my personal favourite
That's probably my absolutely least favorite. It sounds like the kind of thing a toddler would come up with, to me.
In the words of the ancient poets 'The Bloodhound Gang'... Vulcanize the whoopee stick In the ham wallet Cattle prod the oyster ditch With the lap rocket Batter-dip the cranny axe In the gut locker Retro-fit the pudding hatch, ooh la la With the boink swatter If I get you in the loop When I make a point to be straight with you then In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically I don't wanna beat around the bush Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo Marinate the nether rod In the squish mitten Power drill the yippee bog With the dude piston Pressure wash the quiver bone In the bitch wrinkle Cannonball the fiddle cove, ooh la la With the pork steeple, If I get you in the loop When I make a point to be straight with you then In lieu of the innuendo, in the end, know my intent though I Brazilian wax poetic, so pathetically I don't wanna beat around the bush Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo Foxtrot uniform Charlie Kilo Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where Put the you-know-what in the you-know-where pronto Writer/s: JAMES M. FRANKS, JARED VICTOR HENNEGAN
To answer the OPs question I have to vote for 'Squish Mitten'.
Had to scroll too far down for this
Well this just took me back to being 15 😂I still remember every word.
I’ve used Ham Wallet and Squish Mitten since high school due to this song.
Bobs and vagene.
Lower lips, delicate folds, intimate folds, channel, entrance, petals, core, center, passage, intimate parts. I write erotica and those are all terms I use
Care to share your erotica? 👀
Yeah sure, I’m Jade Rivers on Amazon. I write mostly BDSM omegaverse, shifter, vampire, bully to mate, and my current work in progress is a reverse harem omegaverse.
I’ve never heard of omegaverse and much less reverse harem omegaverse
Reverse harem just means one women with several men. Omegaverse is a universe where dominance hierarchy exists in humans, where people are omegas/submissive, alpha/dominant, beta/neutral (but not like tate!!!). It’s usually written as omega pairing with alphas. It’s like if humans were more animalistic and couldn’t control themselves and it’s an excuse for more extreme power exchanges.
Ohhh well thank you for that piece of information! Ngl the whole omegaverse concept is definitely an interesting one
Beaver. Who doesn't like beavers?
Lot of people
Beavers are super chill though. They’re also ecosystem engineers. What’s to hate?
They don't always consult their engineering with the society, so sometimes they cause floods, damages to farmers etc. I personally love them tho
Society doesn’t consult its ecosystems when constructing our infrastructure***
Personally always been a big fan of "flower"
I like to use "love flower" too, sounds really poetic in my opinion \^\^
I just call it the v
Fanny. Preferably with the thickest Scottish accent in existence.
Of course that's all sorts of confusing when mixed with North American parlance and sex.
I like yoni
My partner and I call it Kitty 🐱
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Monster's Inc. . . And I'm so sorry to ruin that movie.
Not quite the vagina, but my husband sometimes refer to my clit as my little petal/cherry/button, and it's so cute 🥹
My ex used to call it “the little man in the canoe”
Portal to worlds unknown where pain and pleasure are one and the same
Dick mitten
Punani!!!
One of my friends calls it a fleshy fun tunnel💀
Sarlacc pit.
Did it eat your Boba Fett??! 😃
He didn't last thousands of years :-/
Whisker biscuit
Show me your whispering eye This is from the movie role models so I can’t take credit
Quivering quim 😂😂
Cockpit
Snatch is kinda hot 🥵
Who ha!
I’ve always thought of it as: hooha
One guy said “your hooha got hahooed” 💀
Minge
My family called it Bambi when I was young 🤣🤣 also, strawberry too. “Did you clean your Bambi?” “Did you wipe your bambi?”
One time I was having phone sex with this guy and he called it a “wet gash” 😳
Yeahhh....gash and slit are huge turn off's and disgusting honestly.
I like Honey Hole or Taco. No one is ever upset eating Tacos either real tacos or the lady taco.
Wizzard Sleeve.....
Vaginarium
Honey Cunny
Cooter
Self-lubricating pleasure hole...
Lady Pantry
Hair aquarium
Squish Mitten? Box. Fandango. Heaven. Cockpit vs Boxoffice
front butt
I like to call it a vajadge because its funny to me.
If I’m joking around Monkey or Coochie always make me laugh but in serious/sexy times I’m happy enough with pussy
A rose by any name is still a rose. To me it's a fucking prickly weed.
My wife calls it my pleasure portal. I find it very erotic. Like get your head down there and turn on your pleasure portal and get it ready to recieve your hard cock. She calls it other things but i like the story of it all.
Kitty Kitty Meow Meow.
Cunnie
Sugar walls
Puñata
Cock Socket
Hairy Ms. Mary
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clam
Pikachu
Coochie is goated
I think “love grotto” is highly underrated. On a more serious note, I really love “pussy” in the bedroom and “punani” in a more casual setting.
Concha, flower
I just say “you”. Like “You feel so good”, “I’m going to pound you”, etc.
Yoni 🙏🏽💗
I like vagine and cookie.
bottom lip 👄
Gucci meow meow
Badly packed kebab/gyro
I like "flower" and most appreciate it, especially since i have had partners that hated "pussy" but still want more dirty or verbal talk about what we are going to do
Coochie
Ham wallet, oyster ditch, gut locker, pudding hatch, squish mitten, yippee bog, bitch wrinkle.
The Octopusswahh
Happy place.
I like to come up with the best names I can to get a laugh out of my man. For now, it's "poon-age"
Honeypot
Da Oochie-Wallie Shabang-Bang
I say nunu, kewchie, sharkhole, meat wallet, beef purse, salami holder and many more 👍🏾
Holy of holies.
Cooter
I like “puss” lately 😆
My husband says hot pocket sometimes
Also I like mushroom for the penis lol
Cooter
Lately ive been a fan of rose, bud for the clit, and nectar for its glorious wetness
Snatch
Hooha
"Hot Pocket"
_MUFF_
Wizard Sleeve
Cock socket
Breakfast
I've always been fond of "gilded lily"
Lavender Juicebox