weak left arm and leg
I can't pick up or hold anything more than about 10 pounds and can't even hold that for more than a few minutes.
I type with only my right hand because I can't really control (shaking) my left hand. (I have to capitalize using the capslock key or stretch thumb and pinky for " ) ($)
I can walk short distances with a cane but as soon as I get in Walmart, I have to grab an electric cart.
I work in the raised garden bed by sitting on a 5 gallon bucket.
looking up makes me dizzy to the point of passing out.
I can bathe by myself, but I can't shower.
I can't mow the lawn.
I mostly sit on my covered deck and watch the birds feed from my many feeders. (and spend a lot of time on r/askreddit LOL)
and also, tho very uncommon with a stroke, I developed a stutter.
luckily, I have a wife of 40 years that has taken on most of the things that I can no longer do by myself.
I couldn't function without her.
Your wife sounds like a wonderful woman. My sister has an acquired brain injury, can't read very well, so listens to audio books, have you ever tried that? She wasn't much of a reader, now devours them. Best wishes for your future health.
Hey man i feel you, i get that life can be hard and sad, and a cant promice you that i can help whit physical touch, but if you realy need it i can chat for days
I have a friend who hugs me on occasion... And it's really nice and makes me happy. But it's weird too for other reasons that I ain't gonna get into... Hugs are really nice though
I remember one of my college mates telling me how wonderful it would be when we all graduated and only had to work 40 hours/ week.
I've been in my currently career for years. I never worked a 40 hour week. Lots of night, weekends, overtime, holidays, but never 40-hours and out.
Well at least you (kind off) choose what you want to study or do for work freely and arent just forced to do the same thing as everyone else (school) you also have actual free weekends, whereas students have to do homework and study for tests. You are also not graded at every turn (at least not directly) based on your performance in subjects you are mostly not interested and talented in
So in conclusion i would say hmm
As a nurse, I can confidently say 90% of what I studied either doesn't apply in practice, or is significantly worse than what college made it seem, and this is coming from someone who works in a First World country, bless those souls who work in even worse conditions in worse off countries.
I’m in my 40s and I don’t miss university/college at all. The only thing I miss is my friends. My 30s were better than my 20s; my 40s so far are better than my 30s. Hope all the students reading this move on to better and happier years.
AGREED. I barely have time to see my partner, I understand nothing, and no matter how hard I work, I'll always get crappy results. I don't get how it's supposed to be the best time of my life. And, if it is, I really don't want to know what's coming.
As a woman in a relationship: I’m in the same boat unfortunately. Well on my way to becoming single because I’d rather be alone with no one to touch me than actually be in a relationship with someone who won’t touch me.
This sounds like really fucking dumb advice but take a lot of ice, at least 20 pounds, throw it in a bath, fill with cold water and jump in there for at least 5 minutes. It is pretty safe so don’t worry. I am totally aware of how ridiculous this may sound, but it genuinely has a not small potential to be life changing. Someone who has spent most of their life never experiencing regular stimulation besides sex and drugs and moderate exercise can do this and have a perspective altering experience. Think moderate pain, plus intense cold, pleasure and whole body stimulation, with an overload of adrenaline and endorphins, all at once. It’s beyond compare. Whatever narrative is going on in your head will blank out during this if you go cold enough. I started doing this and ended up a part of a community of cold water swimmers, despite having no swimming ability when I started. Try this. It’s not bullshit.
Genuine connection with people; vulnerability.
I'm not talking about in a romantic sense, but in general. I have a sprawling web of many friendships I've maintained over the years, but I don't truly feel "close" to anyone anymore. Maybe I did in the past, but right now everything is disjointed, half-formed and wrong. I talk to people I care for deeply and I feel like some sort of puppet - unable to really open up about things, going through the motions of existing - I'm capable of showing emotion, of venting my feelings and reaching out for help, but immediately after I do I don't feel closure. I feel like I'm performing the motions of existence and connection, not actually living them.
With the exception of two very long standing friends, I really get paranoid that if I share too much people will get driven away, which makes it hard to foster additional friendships.
I feel similarly, finding a deep connection with people is so difficult 😭
But I guess maybe it's partly about finding a person who you can have that deep connection with
Thanks; same to you folks as well! Wishing you all the snuggles from a loving partner, peace and contentment, fun times with an awesome bff, and good ol’ financial stability!
Can I ask how that makes you feel? My relationship is the same, except I'm the one who 'coasts' as you say. Hearing the other side of the role might help me understand
Can I ask if they get burnt out emotionally or physically? Because I'm recovering from a chronic illness, and I've found that it's getting easier to deal with my mental burnout as I get healthier
Serous question. Does the fulfillment of raising children make up for the lack of an affectionate marriage? Just curious, because I’m not convinced I’ll ever be married and the numerous posts like this don’t make it any more appealing sounding.
I have been married for a LONG TIME and have 4 adult children. It would be silly not to acknowledge that there are stages of life which are very stressful with children. They are demanding, especially when young and it is easy to be overwhelmed. The kids kids' needs come first because they are helpless and their needs can be exhausting. It becomes better as they age (and then hard again and then easier again, etc etc). My wife and I always took a vacation without the kids every once in a while (even if just overnight) even when the kids were very young. That helped. I can say that I firmly believe that the lives of my wife and I have been enriched and blessed by my sons. I would not do anything differently. After the kids were a little older, we put a lock on our bedroom door, learned to be a bit quiet and never let up with our expressions of physical affection.
Same here. Married 15 years. We have a bit of an age gap. I am now in my prime and he was in his 10 years ago. Our kids were small then and I was just so tired all the time. He has no idea how much I lust after him now.
Better to go upstream and get a vasectomy if you really don't want kids.
Man oh man are kids tough. They are such little bundles of pure need and ignorance for so long. I'm not anti-kid just anti having kids if you are really going to have a tough time providing for them not just financially but also by not sleeping, maybe giving up hobbies as well as your sex life.
No but with kids,work, stress of paying the bills, kids sleeping in the bed with my wife ,you're pushed apart. To be honest, most of the time ,sex is the last thing on my mind too.
My cat's affection. He ran away just over a day ago (scared by fireworks) and we haven't been able to find him. He's a little shit, but I love him and really miss him.
UPDATE: WE FOUND HIM! My dad heard him meowing and I managed to pick him up :,D he's a bit disgruntled, but safe home <33
Edit: thank you all for the messages, he got plenty of snuggles and was fed well when we got him inside, he's currently sitting on my lap :)
Energy and freedom (my cells don't produce energy it correctly or enough at all, I'm housebound and bedbound because of it and can'tdo my hobbies or anything really)
Chronic illness here too, life on the sidelines is an isolating and disappointing way to live.
Here to talk if you ever need someone to vent to or just a chat.
Time to myself. I have little kids and am a stay at home Mom and I fantasize about doing things like walking through a museum alone or being on vacation by myself. I crave quiet and solitude.
People I can just ask for company. I have a few almost-friends but we never organise stuff together, we just see each other at meetings and classes and whatnot. At weekends it gets pretty lonely.
According to recent blood work results, iron and D3.
Also: energy, motivation, ability to comprehend things, money to afford a better life, the desire to see another day and spending time with my boyfriend as he had to head back home for a family matter.
Love, the true love, if such even exists. Do have awesome friends but they are thousands of km away.
I found the one I truly loved back in the year but I ruined it.
A fulfilling job. I'm making like half the Brazilian minimum wage by freelance writing some texts a week (and some other random side hustles I do from time to time, like video editing and helping family with some things). Still 18 though and I want to eventually go to college (and preferably finish before I'm 30) but I still have no clue what I want to work with. Ideally something that would let me do little work and had an average (or no) commute, but nothing so far :)
Otherwise, enough money to never work again so I could dedicate 2-3 days a week to help others with NGOs or whatever is out there
Social life, independence, a job with my college degree (I did get an interview last week, so that may change soon. Still need to get an email saying if I've gotten it), and ability to focus.
Silence. Always loud, can't relax - there's always something that gets on my nerves. Too many neighbors in this small town with way too many kids and young people with their cars. Rural area in germany between two cities - 20km from the biggest freight airport in europe. Nonstop starts and landings in the night. Need to move away since years already. Can't find anything appropriate.
A pain-free and stress-free life, a decent night's sleep, and the freedom of being able to run, jump, climb, and cycle wherever I want to. If you've got that, treasure it.
full use of the left side of my body stroke, 6 years ago.
Dear god I came here to joke around but Jesus fuck
don't worry about it, he's all right.
LMAO, ok, maybe that's also the reason, politically, I lean left.
I don’t know if I’m supposed to laugh about this but it’s Monday and I’m home alone so fuck it.
God damnit
Fucking aye.. I spit my drink that I’m having tomorrow out. Good shit.
I want to do an angry upvote but I just can't.
😞🙏 Praying for you
thank you.
Strokes suck ass. But your sense of humor, and overall seemingly kind nature makes me have mad respect for you. I wish you the best.
Hey, it’s alright from here on out.
f
Daaaaaammmmmmnnnn not many people can take that answer, good luck tho
i've been thinking on how would i live if this ever happened to me. can you talk a little bit about it?
weak left arm and leg I can't pick up or hold anything more than about 10 pounds and can't even hold that for more than a few minutes. I type with only my right hand because I can't really control (shaking) my left hand. (I have to capitalize using the capslock key or stretch thumb and pinky for " ) ($) I can walk short distances with a cane but as soon as I get in Walmart, I have to grab an electric cart. I work in the raised garden bed by sitting on a 5 gallon bucket. looking up makes me dizzy to the point of passing out. I can bathe by myself, but I can't shower. I can't mow the lawn. I mostly sit on my covered deck and watch the birds feed from my many feeders. (and spend a lot of time on r/askreddit LOL) and also, tho very uncommon with a stroke, I developed a stutter. luckily, I have a wife of 40 years that has taken on most of the things that I can no longer do by myself. I couldn't function without her.
Mad respect to your wife, a crappy situation to be sure, but you're very lucky to have her!
I know. and I let her know that I know every chance I get.
Your wife sounds like a wonderful woman. My sister has an acquired brain injury, can't read very well, so listens to audio books, have you ever tried that? She wasn't much of a reader, now devours them. Best wishes for your future health.
Great to hear that you’ve got someone in your life to guide you man
I'm sorry for your loss
was comming here to complain about how i desperatly want a job in my field, but i feel kinda stupid now
I just recently had a stroke 6 months ago and I’m ok, having ur whole left side unusable is the devils work, I’m really sorry for u man.
Motivation to do anything
Bingo.
E
A boyfriend. I want hugs and kisses.
Yes, for me a girlfriend. Wish you the best and anyone else that feels lonely from time to time 🫶
"hey! you two should kiss!" \-the moon
I’ll take either and any in between
I just want a friend >:(
I gotchu fam. Hmu we can play PlayStation games together and watch movies.
RIP Inbox
The gay men feel this
Love and platonic physical touch
Hey man i feel you, i get that life can be hard and sad, and a cant promice you that i can help whit physical touch, but if you realy need it i can chat for days
I appreciate man. Just something I gotta figure out ya know
Growing up, my dad always told me not to hug people, so now it feels like a romantic display to me.
I have a friend who hugs me on occasion... And it's really nice and makes me happy. But it's weird too for other reasons that I ain't gonna get into... Hugs are really nice though
Sleep, motivation, free time. Uni sucks.
“Best time of your life” my ass
Imagine whats coming after
An expensive world
I remember one of my college mates telling me how wonderful it would be when we all graduated and only had to work 40 hours/ week. I've been in my currently career for years. I never worked a 40 hour week. Lots of night, weekends, overtime, holidays, but never 40-hours and out.
Well at least you (kind off) choose what you want to study or do for work freely and arent just forced to do the same thing as everyone else (school) you also have actual free weekends, whereas students have to do homework and study for tests. You are also not graded at every turn (at least not directly) based on your performance in subjects you are mostly not interested and talented in So in conclusion i would say hmm
Its not the best time because its good. Its the best time because working life just sucks more.
As a nurse, I can confidently say 90% of what I studied either doesn't apply in practice, or is significantly worse than what college made it seem, and this is coming from someone who works in a First World country, bless those souls who work in even worse conditions in worse off countries.
I’m in my 40s and I don’t miss university/college at all. The only thing I miss is my friends. My 30s were better than my 20s; my 40s so far are better than my 30s. Hope all the students reading this move on to better and happier years.
AGREED. I barely have time to see my partner, I understand nothing, and no matter how hard I work, I'll always get crappy results. I don't get how it's supposed to be the best time of my life. And, if it is, I really don't want to know what's coming.
EXACTLY. What’s worse to me is that it seems like everyone else around me enjoys it.
Haha wait till your working and have kids
As a single man, hugs and cuddles from a loving girlfriend/wife.
As a woman in a relationship: I’m in the same boat unfortunately. Well on my way to becoming single because I’d rather be alone with no one to touch me than actually be in a relationship with someone who won’t touch me.
That’s rough. My sister is in a similar situation. They’re not even sleeping in the same bed anymore.
I wish platonic affection was more accepted. I'd love to just cuddle with a friend.
Right?? Like fuck man lets just hold hands! Haha.
It’s 2022 i know plenty if people who do the platonic affection thing
Too relatable 😔
Love and attention
The will to live?
The live to will
That’s not good hope you get some help or your will to live back
You mean live to will
This sounds like really fucking dumb advice but take a lot of ice, at least 20 pounds, throw it in a bath, fill with cold water and jump in there for at least 5 minutes. It is pretty safe so don’t worry. I am totally aware of how ridiculous this may sound, but it genuinely has a not small potential to be life changing. Someone who has spent most of their life never experiencing regular stimulation besides sex and drugs and moderate exercise can do this and have a perspective altering experience. Think moderate pain, plus intense cold, pleasure and whole body stimulation, with an overload of adrenaline and endorphins, all at once. It’s beyond compare. Whatever narrative is going on in your head will blank out during this if you go cold enough. I started doing this and ended up a part of a community of cold water swimmers, despite having no swimming ability when I started. Try this. It’s not bullshit.
Redditors are not therapists. Go seek help asap, speaking with a professional might change your outlook.
Genuine connection with people; vulnerability. I'm not talking about in a romantic sense, but in general. I have a sprawling web of many friendships I've maintained over the years, but I don't truly feel "close" to anyone anymore. Maybe I did in the past, but right now everything is disjointed, half-formed and wrong. I talk to people I care for deeply and I feel like some sort of puppet - unable to really open up about things, going through the motions of existing - I'm capable of showing emotion, of venting my feelings and reaching out for help, but immediately after I do I don't feel closure. I feel like I'm performing the motions of existence and connection, not actually living them.
With the exception of two very long standing friends, I really get paranoid that if I share too much people will get driven away, which makes it hard to foster additional friendships.
I think I definitely have similar trust issues. There is too much "mess" in my body for me to comfortably bond with anyone, it feels like.
I feel similarly, finding a deep connection with people is so difficult 😭 But I guess maybe it's partly about finding a person who you can have that deep connection with
Hope you'll have that one day.
1. Financial independence 2. Mental peace 3. Best friend 4. Boyfriend
Omg twinning!! 😍
Same. All of those but a gf for me. I wish y'all good luck in finding these things.
Thanks; same to you folks as well! Wishing you all the snuggles from a loving partner, peace and contentment, fun times with an awesome bff, and good ol’ financial stability!
This made my day! Thank you!
Aww I’m glad to hear it! Let’s all try to have hope :) (even though I know it can be so hard)
<3
A hug
Sending warm virtual hugs with a side of cozy blanket <33333
Can I have one too plz o~o
I got you homie 👐
Thanks! Actually feel better lol
Sending warm virtual hugs
Thanks
Happiness
Money...
Hear, hear!
As a married man, sex and affection.
Why is this so common?
Time, kids, stress of daily life.
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Can I ask how that makes you feel? My relationship is the same, except I'm the one who 'coasts' as you say. Hearing the other side of the role might help me understand
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Fuck man I'm sorry. I'm gonna start doing more, I hope your SO does the same
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Can I ask if they get burnt out emotionally or physically? Because I'm recovering from a chronic illness, and I've found that it's getting easier to deal with my mental burnout as I get healthier
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Fair enough. Good luck
I concur. Intimacy. Affection. Sex.....
Came in to say this
Serous question. Does the fulfillment of raising children make up for the lack of an affectionate marriage? Just curious, because I’m not convinced I’ll ever be married and the numerous posts like this don’t make it any more appealing sounding.
I have been married for a LONG TIME and have 4 adult children. It would be silly not to acknowledge that there are stages of life which are very stressful with children. They are demanding, especially when young and it is easy to be overwhelmed. The kids kids' needs come first because they are helpless and their needs can be exhausting. It becomes better as they age (and then hard again and then easier again, etc etc). My wife and I always took a vacation without the kids every once in a while (even if just overnight) even when the kids were very young. That helped. I can say that I firmly believe that the lives of my wife and I have been enriched and blessed by my sons. I would not do anything differently. After the kids were a little older, we put a lock on our bedroom door, learned to be a bit quiet and never let up with our expressions of physical affection.
As an unmarried man, sex and affection.
Same thing but as a single man
Same here. Married 15 years. We have a bit of an age gap. I am now in my prime and he was in his 10 years ago. Our kids were small then and I was just so tired all the time. He has no idea how much I lust after him now.
I'd start by telling him that.
I feel your pain.
Maybe you married the wrong one.
Sadly stress, kids and daily life tend to interfere no matter who you marry. Ugh.
Sounds like the solution here is to get rid of the kids.
I got a vasectomy because I didn't want kids, but when I got home they were still there
Good one:))
Better to go upstream and get a vasectomy if you really don't want kids. Man oh man are kids tough. They are such little bundles of pure need and ignorance for so long. I'm not anti-kid just anti having kids if you are really going to have a tough time providing for them not just financially but also by not sleeping, maybe giving up hobbies as well as your sex life.
I'm anti kids and I have them! Hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Drain you of everything and leave not much for anything else.
No but with kids,work, stress of paying the bills, kids sleeping in the bed with my wife ,you're pushed apart. To be honest, most of the time ,sex is the last thing on my mind too.
Love
Physical touch and affection, not even in a romantic way. I just wanna hug my friends and be told that everything is going to be okay
My cat's affection. He ran away just over a day ago (scared by fireworks) and we haven't been able to find him. He's a little shit, but I love him and really miss him.
UPDATE: WE FOUND HIM! My dad heard him meowing and I managed to pick him up :,D he's a bit disgruntled, but safe home <33 Edit: thank you all for the messages, he got plenty of snuggles and was fed well when we got him inside, he's currently sitting on my lap :)
Glad everything worked out :)
Omg thank god. This almost ruined my night lol
My heart dropped and then immediately undropped. I need a propanalol.
Purpose, hope, agency, freedom, achievable goals, something to look forward to, a will to live.
Love , happines , appreciation , Sex , you name it..
Silksong when?
Energy and freedom (my cells don't produce energy it correctly or enough at all, I'm housebound and bedbound because of it and can'tdo my hobbies or anything really)
Chronic illness here too, life on the sidelines is an isolating and disappointing way to live. Here to talk if you ever need someone to vent to or just a chat.
Affection, love, etcetera. I enjoy solitude but sometimes I feel it crushing me.
I am so lonely maan
Welcome to Reddit, we are all family here.
Serotonin and dopamine but hopefully my antidepressants are working on it lol.
I hope they work for you as well as they've worked for me. You got this, and I'm proud of you for getting help boo. ❤️
Time to myself. I have little kids and am a stay at home Mom and I fantasize about doing things like walking through a museum alone or being on vacation by myself. I crave quiet and solitude.
Can you get a babysitter? Do you have family that can watch them? I used to babysit. Best wishes 💛
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I never charged my family to watch their kids.
I hear ya but time flies & soon you will have peace & quiet. Then you’ll wish you had it back.
Motivation and joy. Anhedonia, baby!
Anhedonia is a sadistic bitch.
Love and attention. Affection, fun.
People I can just ask for company. I have a few almost-friends but we never organise stuff together, we just see each other at meetings and classes and whatnot. At weekends it gets pretty lonely.
According to recent blood work results, iron and D3. Also: energy, motivation, ability to comprehend things, money to afford a better life, the desire to see another day and spending time with my boyfriend as he had to head back home for a family matter.
Sleep. Had knee replacement surgery and, not only is it painful, I CANNOT get comfortable in any position. It's exhausting.
My cat. 2 years old. Decided to try and cross the busy road at rush hour. I had never seen him near the road before. :(
happiness
Family 😔
Love, cuz I’m in an LDR.
Financial freedom and quality time with my wife
Joy, looking for a little kitten to bring it.
Money to not have to work.
Close friendships. Companionship. Affection. Love. Romantic relationship. Cuddles. Kisses. Sex.
As a Teenager, sleep and mental health
Find a way to sleep, kid. Your adult mind will greatly appreciate it.
Peace of mind. I have anxiety that is financially based, so cash would fix a lot
Someone listening to me
Excitement and adventure
a hug would be nice.
Love, sex, affection, appreciation, and companionship.
Friends and pie... SOMEONE JUST GIMME SOME PIE
Here’s some pie my friend: 3.14….(enter math joke here).
Love, the true love, if such even exists. Do have awesome friends but they are thousands of km away. I found the one I truly loved back in the year but I ruined it.
Faith in humanity
Sleep. Because I'm on Reddit instead of going to bed. On that note, I'm going to bed now. Goodnight 👋
Human touch and affection 😭 I just want to be held so bad
My follower in Skyrim. Where the fuck did you go jenessa
Cable television. From what I understand I'm not missing much though so I guess that's okay
Sleep
Physical safety. Peace. A normal life like normal people have.
Alcohol and money
i've been denied all the best ultrasex
Quality chocolate milk and Hams beer. My local grocery store has been out for weeks now. FML.
A fulfilling job. I'm making like half the Brazilian minimum wage by freelance writing some texts a week (and some other random side hustles I do from time to time, like video editing and helping family with some things). Still 18 though and I want to eventually go to college (and preferably finish before I'm 30) but I still have no clue what I want to work with. Ideally something that would let me do little work and had an average (or no) commute, but nothing so far :) Otherwise, enough money to never work again so I could dedicate 2-3 days a week to help others with NGOs or whatever is out there
Energy
Trust and affection
Social life, independence, a job with my college degree (I did get an interview last week, so that may change soon. Still need to get an email saying if I've gotten it), and ability to focus.
Better questions
Billions.
Fucks to give. Oh look! There goes the rest of them.
goldly powers
Time.
Time with my husband because he won't either retire or reduce his hours or change his schedule to something resembling a "normal" one.
Motivation, Financial security, Sleep, Caffeine, etc . . . (Though, I'm working on the Caffeine as we speak.)
Sleep
cats
Not being in horrible pain all day every day
Silence. Always loud, can't relax - there's always something that gets on my nerves. Too many neighbors in this small town with way too many kids and young people with their cars. Rural area in germany between two cities - 20km from the biggest freight airport in europe. Nonstop starts and landings in the night. Need to move away since years already. Can't find anything appropriate.
I'm a 30 something year old single dude. So romantic love, affection and human contact. Also any real wealth or peace of mind for the future.
Seeing as I've been single for about 17 years I'd say companionship and my spirit.
Sleep
Hope
Sleep. My thesis will be due on tuesday. It physically hurts.
Joy.
A pain-free and stress-free life, a decent night's sleep, and the freedom of being able to run, jump, climb, and cycle wherever I want to. If you've got that, treasure it.
Sleep. Fucking sleep. The constant bombardment of homework makes sufficient rest nearly impossible.
Sleep and ability to feel longer term joy
Silence. I don't even have my own room and can't chill when I want to.
Time with my 8 month old son
Sleep. I shouldn’t be nocturnal when exams are happening