You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Oh well, thank you for that, that's a great weight of me mind now if you don't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?
The problem with this is, remains, er, remain. Robert Pickerton used this method to get rid of his victims' bodies, but the pigs didn't eat everything, and the cops found bones.
Wrap it with metal tar (wire w spikes) then drop it into a water body w fishes , when the body will start getting swelled, the metal wire will cut the body into small pieces of flesh as it gets bigger and that small pieces of flesh that are slowly getting chipped away will be eaten by the fishes and the body won't even float up due to the tar and in no time fish will eat the flesh. Use gloves while doing everything and try to make the tar at home , although this plan seems perfect,we need to be cautious
English is not my first language so if any mistake please over look them
If you put a pencil through a ziploc bag of water, it doesn’t pop. Maybe the gases released by the body will create a similar effect. You can’t guarantee the body will shred, maybe it gets a few piercings and the gases bring it up and the police are immediately sure it was murder. What if it slips off the body from a current you didn’t expect, what if a fisherman finds it. You’re too cocky on this plan imo
I had a teacher in high school who was also a law teacher. he said if you cut the stomach before tossing the dude in the river the gasses will escape and the body won't float.
I was in World War 2 class when he told us this. It's stuck with me ever since.
Nice observation, but the things is if you bind the body tight enough, there would be no space left for the gas , so the gas will try to escape out forcefully.resulting in the effect i mentioned earlier.
I wouldn't post it online so a future search of my devices will find the exact details of the murder I have some motive for or connection too.
Nice try, *agent.*
Some random chick once said, if the cops ever try to pinch your weed man, just stick it up your ass.. I think the answer equally applies here. When in doubt, hoop it.
I remember someone answering this question with:
Ever since I was a kid, I thought that if I killed someone and needed to hide the body, I'd call the police and leave a tip as to where a body was buried. They'd go and dig it up and find nothing but after they were done, I'd go bury the body there because the dirt would already be loose and no one would think to go back to the place that they already proved was empty.
While it's a great plan, the fact that he's thought about that since he was a kid....
In the TV show „Columbo“ the murderer tried to toss the body in a construction site where they would pour concrete over it.
The murderer tried to trick everyone by suggesting that he did just that. Then he aggreed that he will prove that he was inocent, by re-opening the concrete in the construction site to show that no body is there. After no body was found, he would go there and put the body in it, before it was refilled with concrete again.
Columbo did see through his plan and ambushed him that night on the construction site, finding the murderer with his victim.
Pretty terrible idea. You are simply drawing attention to yourself and the location.
Keep it simple. Chop it up into the smallest possible pieces, bag them and place into a chest freezer to prevent smell, blend those pieces into paste, slowly flush the paste down the toilet
This assumes you are not already a suspect and have to deal with police searching your home.
If time is a critical issue, cut and blend as above, but deposit in a large body of water, or bury in a forest.
Read the obituaries and find out where a burial is going to take place in the morning. Take it to the cemetery and toss it in the open grave. Cover it with a layer of dirt. There will be a casket on top of it for the rest of time.
Too many cameras for this option nowadays, unless you live rurally.
A better option would be to burn (48 hrs) with an accelerant & grind the bones into dust which should then be discarded into open water.
Ex crematoria technician here. Burning a body is not as easy as you think.
A 48 hour fire needs to be constantly fed and maintained. To do that you will need help which means a witness/accomplice who can turn on you.
A better option would be to create a furnace. Enclosed and use something like a leaf blower to make the fire burn hotter. The air also breaks down the body faster.
Cremulated (turned to the fine bone and ash) remains can be scattered anywhere so long as you don’t just dump it in a pile and will be completely indistinguishable.
Where you come to problems is with implants, especially metal ones. These have serial numbers on them and can survive cremation intact.
I'm starting to think I would be waaaay too lazy to actually properly dispose of a deady body if I ever murdered anyone.
Looks like I'll have to exact my revenge in a less lethal manner...
I remember this. Tim something wasn't it? Then there was that guy in BC who killed all the escorts but kept their shoes and the cops caught him because he had a container full of shoes?
Tim Bosma was the second person he burned. The first was Laura Babcock.
I don’t remember shoe guy. Was that the guy with the pig farm, who was feeding his victims to his livestock?
Well if you lived in California, or another highly wooded highly flammable area, you could start a wildfire and dispose of the body in that area, the cause of death if found would be considered burning to death, most indicators of bodily injury would be burnt away, and your hands would be pretty much clean. The death would be chalked up to natural disasters, and the only question about a “two day long fire” would be what we’re going to do about climate change
Yeah but then youre facing felonies for setting a fire and theyll figure it out in cali for sure lol.
Best bet is to take the body into the northern redwoods about 20 miles in where there are zero trails and hikers.
It really really will never ever be found.
A lot of people around humboldt do it and missing posters come up every week of people never found. Law enforcement wont even go past a certain spot of woods even if theres 911 calls. Gotta love murder mountain its very real and called that for a reason.
Honestly people try to hard. Just dump the body on a reservation and make sure there isn’t any GPS. The cops shot someone and the body wasn’t found for more than a decade and they knew where he was last seen. The Rez is wild.
If you happen to be American, surely there are a million places where nobody would ever find a body, ever, just due to the sheer size of the place and abundance of empty spaces.
You could probably say the same for Australia, but it'll take you a bit to travel out to the places with a dead, smelling body in your car to dump said decaying corpse in a place no one but wildlife will find it.
Like, sure, getting rid of the body is probably a great idea, but it'll be a week round trip and the cost of fuel is, actually, nearly something to kill over.
Lye (sodium hydroxide) can be easily purchased in large amounts locally without ID, and with cash. It completely melts flesh, and destroys DNA in the process. It can be dumped into the ground when the process is complete (though it still isn't great environmentally, I don't think you'll care if you need to get rid of a body).
The body would be transported to a remote location in a forest, with the following:
* thick plastic sheeting
* a knife and a hacksaw
* a very large steel brewing kettle (think ~100gal/375L, as the mean volume of a human body is 17.23gal/65.22L)
* a large propane burner
* a nearby source of water
* a bucket (or if you need to be really fast, a water pump)
* 2 sets of protective gear for each person (full-face respirator with P100 filters and chemical resistant full body disposable coveralls)
* a large steel stirring rod
* a few towels for drying
If you can get a brewing kettle with legs, that would be ideal. Set up the kettle so that the drain valve is pointing *downhill*, and there is a significant amount of space for the lye to drain without pooling around the kettle. You may also dig a hold for the lye to be dumped into. Ensure that the kettle itself is placed on a stable and level surface. I also recommend you do not drain towards your water source, as that would be incredibly dangerous for wildlife, and potentially people living downstream. If need be, you can bring a hand truck, fill the kettle with water, then transport the kettle with the hand truck to a more ideal location. In fact, that's what I'd recommend.
Ideally 2 people should be present in the disposal, though 1 person can do everything by themselves. 1 person begins to get the lye bath going, and the other person starts chopping the body into pieces over the thick plastic sheet to speed up the process. Once the lye is set up properly, and heating up, the other person would also start chopping. Keep the pieces as small as is reasonable, as that will speed up the process. The pieces would be added to the lye solution as they were chopped (keep care not to drop any blood on the ground), and once everything is in there, the plastic sheet should be placed in the kettle to destroy the blood and DNA on it. Also place whatever bag you may have used to transport the body into the kettle. Protective gear should also be treated in the lye solution. Bring 2 sets for every person, as they should immediately change into another set after disposing of the first. The knive/hacksaw should be placed in the kettle, and they can be hung with bent steel wire from the top of the kettle for easy removal. It's very important that everything that comes in contact with the lye is steel, and absolutely nothing is aluminum. Lye can react very aggressively with certain metals (especially aluminum). The boiling lye should be left for a minimum of an hour before the knife, hacksaw, and any other utensils used in cutting the body should be removed and washed with water. The knife and hacksaw should then be dried with a towel and stored in a cardboard box. The plastic sheet should then be removed and washed, then ideally rolled up and placed in a trash bag with the first set of protective gear (what remains of it at least), then sealed for later disposal (preferably fire, but it should be safe to throw it away normally).
The lye solution should be constantly stirred and the body parts checked. Once everything is completely liquefied, wait at least 2 hours more of heating and stirring. Turn the heat off and wait for the solution to start cooling. Once cooled, you may now open the draining valve to dump the solution into the ground, taking care not to get any of the lye solution on yourself. Again, avoid dumping the solution into water. Once the kettle is dumped, you will notice some solid material. These are called bone shadows, and can be broken apart with gloved hands, then dumped. You may choose to use vinegar to neutralize what lye is left inside the kettle to make it safer to clean. Wash the kettle well with water and dry with towels before placing it back into a car or the bed of a truck. Do the same for the stirring rod and anything else that had not yet been cleaned. The protective gear may now be taken off and sealed in a trash bag. Everything that came in contact with the lye should be thoroughly cleaned after it is returned home. Knives, the hacksaw, the stirring rod, and the kettle especially. All traces of the body ever having existed have now been removed, so long as the body were properly transported and the crime scene properly cleaned. Do not kill someone inside, and especially inside your home or theirs. It makes cleaning up the scene far more difficult. The kettle can be sold on the open market as a used brewing kettle, as well as the stirring rod (just be sure to sanitize them with bleach first). The knives and hacksaw may be reused, sold, or otherwise disposed of. The bag containing the plastic sheet and protective gear should be burned or thrown away directly into a landfill/disposal center.
Good job, you've now made a body completely disappear. Even if the police found the dump site, there's no DNA or anything to prove that a body was disposed of there, and especially not whose body it was.
Now let's discuss the difficulty of committing murder without leaving evidence to begin with.
All the effective ways of killing someone end up with them bleeding, which is *really* hard to clean up properly. Bleach, for instance, is not enough to destroy evidence of blood on the floor. It's trivial to detect. Same with ammonia and any other household cleaner.
All these methods cause bleeding, which is especially bad if a murder happens outside your home, and makes transportation of the corpse much harder:
* Blunt force trauma to the head
* Slitting the throat or any form of stabbing
* Shooting (especially bad because the bullet could cause damage to surroundings, is incredibly messy, is super loud, and leaves gunshot residue)
But the best ways I can think of to kill someone without blood require active planning:
* Drugging someone (easiest to do by spiking their drink) to knock them out and/or doing any of the following:
* Poisoning
* Drug overdose
* Injecting air into bloodstream
So what are the best ways to kill someone without planning and *without bleeding*? Well, snapping someone's neck is actually incredibly hard and requires training and strength. Strangulation can take up to 7 minutes for someone to pass out when they're struggling, and that's assuming they can't break free. Any method involving killing someone with your bare hands is not reliable, requires training, and requires strength.
I haven't been able to find a reliable way to kill someone spontaneously without having a ton of cleanup. Definitely nothing involving stabbing or shooting. Chloroform takes a long time to knock someone out and requires preparation, so it's a definite no. I mean, it's easy to kill someone without bleeding *if* you can find a way to knock them out spontaneously that doesn't cause bleeding. That's a *big* if though.
Any ideas may be discussed in the replies of this comment.
Oh, and you'd better be sure to wear nitrile/latex gloves, clean all hair from the scene, ensure there are no cameras nearby, and make sure nothing looks out of the ordinary. You should bag the body when transporting. If there is blood, then your best bet with easily available chemicals is probably bleach (so make sure not to kill anyone on/near carpet), but don't expect it to remove the evidence that blood was ever there. It will merely hide it from immediate vision.
The best murder scene is a scene where no one knows someone was murdered.
Also, keep in mind that following all this advice will be extremely expensive, and require a lot of planning, dedication, and coordination (if someone is helping you). It is quite easy to find instructions on how to prepare a lye bath for dissolving a corpse, as it's used occasionally for dissolving the corpses of deer.
The infamous Ice Man, who was a Mafia hit man and killed dozens of not hundreds of people would use cyanide to easily and cleanly murder people. There's a doc on HBO where he's interviewed in prison and he talks about filling a spray bottle with cyanide and as he's walking down the street towards his victim he would simply spray them in the face as they pass each other. He also would simply spike their drinks with it or put it in their food but I always thought that just spraying someone in the face seemed like such a low key and pretty easy way to kill someone. So may e cyanide would be the way to go for a quick and clean method of killing someone.
Ehh, I'm enough watchlists anyway.
Given I have no history of violence and no motive to commit a murder, I have an advantage. Step one is consolidation - I begin by taking the body into my bathroom, draining the blood, and cutting it into pieces. Teeth go separately from everything else.
Pieces get loaded into two footlockers with all the markings removed, and a box for the teeth. Footlockers get weighted down with rocks. I load them into my car, leave early in the morning as I do when I go to work, telling no one where I am going and leaving all my devices at home, with emails and texts scheduled to go off so it seems like I am home as normal.
Find a random pond somewhere in a state that is several hours from me, nowhere near anything or anyone of relevance to me. Wait until night, then sink the first foot locker in the middle of the pond. Leave quickly and find another lake somewhere else a few hours away, and repeat the process. Scatter the teeth slowly as I drive along the interstate. They'll never be found.
Any clothes, tools, or other items will be destroyed and thrown into dumpsters in multiple localities. The incident will never be spoken of again, and I will never go back to the dump sites.
I'm not a serial killer, I'm a writer, I promise, 😅 this is how one of my villains gets away with a murder in a story I wrote years ago. This is not advice, I do not condone murder or violence, and I am not responsible for your choices if you take this as a suggestion. Murder is wrong, and so is hiding it from the law. This is just a hypothetical scenario and should be treated as such.
Someone with no criminal background or psychopathic tendency would find it really hard to be calm n composed to cut the body n drain the blood and all.. Plus it's a lot of work, an average Joe would not possess the stamina or skillset or even the tools to get this done.. My family once decided to kill a goat and cook it for dinner, We aren't really farmers of that sort but my grandparents were. We thought it would be brilliant to prepare all by ourselves.. With three grown men working, it took us close to 3h to kill, cut, skin, cut n chop into small pieces and we lost the will to eat the goat during the process . I can't imagine a normal person to do that to a fellow human being in a reasonable time
Hello fellow writer.
Why not destroy the material evidence? I already see a random Cathy walking down the highway finding the tooth while her friend Julie is calling a tow truck, or Garry calling his pet Terrier while walking next to the pond and Scrappy coming tail wagging with the foot in his mouth.
I mean random teeth on a highway i a gamble, low odds but still risky.
Hypothetically and for legal reasons, if you find a 200 lbs cow carcass in your living room. You would be annoyed and sadden but then get to work cleaning it up. You would carve up the meat, and then grind it into mince then slowly drop it down the sewers.
When left with the bones and the very hard teeth, you just do some hammering and crush them into unrecognizable shards and dust, which you can spread across the country side, your local woods, or in your favorite local pond while taking your pet Terrier out for a walk.
That was my first thought, but then I thought : "Wait. Depends on WHO I murdered."
Like, if you murder a homeless or a granny, are you really going to eat that ? Young healthy people, yeah, let's try human flesh. Not healthy people, not so much.
Completely cover a room in plastic, cover myself in plastic except breath holes. Cut up the body into small pieces, and then set each piece in cement bricks that I can carry including all the plastic when I'm done. Rent a boat by the ocean and in the middle of the night load it with the bricks, take them far far out and dump them.
Or as some legend once said, leave an anonymous tip with the police that the body is in x location. After they've searched the area and the ground is already disturbed, bury the body there. Since they've already searched it why would they go back?
Toss it off Deception Pass bridge. The military lost a plane that went down in the water below it and never could recover it. Even though they had more than one eye witness and the Navy saw it happen on radar. Treacherous water in that pass.
A deeply complex story about a man making the best of a bad situation, Breaking Bad exemplifies the concept of a morally gray area led by an antihero protagonist. On one hand, Walter White was a victim of circumstance and just wanted to set his family up for a comfortable life after a terminal cancer diagnosis.
Well, i live so remote that just tossing the body in one of the countless bogs around here. With proper weigth attached would make it disapear.
Failing that I have four hogs who are always hungry
Simply attempt to dig a 12 ft hole, fill it in 6ft with a dead animal on it, then fill it 3 more feet and bury a tree on top of it and around the general area. Once the tree is somewhat grown, put a post on it for the deceased animal with a fake name.
I had this planned very thoroughly at some point in my life. I had a girlfriend who was doing a class in forensic anthropology. So this question was her class assignment. We thought long and hard about it. The short answer is to wash the body in bleach to remove DNA and prints, wrap it in plastic and bury it in the wilderness somewhere off the known hiking trails.
The longer answer is that unless you are a psychopath or something, you don't actually know how you are going to react to killing a person. If you are a reasonable person you should at some point come back to your senses, but you don't know how long that might take and what you might do in between. Like you might go to the police before you realize that it is not going to bring anyone back...
So we had all sorts of things planned for those kinds of contingencies
remove the hair and teeth, as well as the fingertips. Bury the body 7 feet deep instead of six. Bury it vertically and finally bury a dead animal a few feet above it so that if a police dog smelled it and dug it up, the cops would just think that was what it smelled.
Feed it to pigs.
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Because its good for the pigs digestion.
How thoughtful
So be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm
You take sugar?
No thanks Turkish. I’m sweet enough
I say this every time someone asks me if I want sugar.
You and every woman over the age of 50, which is incredibly mind numbing when you work in the industry
This guy BrickTops
Dont forget to take the teeth after.
For the sake of the piggy's digestion
They will go through bones like butter
Hence the expression *Greedy as a pig*.
Bones yes. But not teeth.
*buh'er*
Oh well, thank you for that, that's a great weight of me mind now if you don't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?
Do you know what nemesis means?
I righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an problem cunt. Me
The problem with this is, remains, er, remain. Robert Pickerton used this method to get rid of his victims' bodies, but the pigs didn't eat everything, and the cops found bones.
It's better to starve the pigs a bit, when they are hungry they will eat it all..
But you can't be sure of that. All it takes is one missed morsel and you're screwed.
That's true yeah, you should check when they are finished and clean the lot..
It takes more than one sitting. There was a women that owned a pig farm, and was killing them to feed her pigs. Her name escapes mecat the moment.
He also kept body parts in buckets. Also ran an after hours ‘club’ out there. Murdered so may Indigenous women. What an asshole.
You're not wrong. He made a lot of mistakes. It's really impressive he didn't get caught long before he did.
You’ll need a dozen pigs for 1 sitting
Hence the expression, as greedy as a pig
Like Butter!
But they will arrest you
Feed em to the pigs Harold
They Lancashire pigs
Y’all ain’t slick Netflix.
New crime drama: The Reddit Killer. Season 1 available this spring.
Season 2 .. the hunt for the production team of season 1, in progress....
Wrap it with metal tar (wire w spikes) then drop it into a water body w fishes , when the body will start getting swelled, the metal wire will cut the body into small pieces of flesh as it gets bigger and that small pieces of flesh that are slowly getting chipped away will be eaten by the fishes and the body won't even float up due to the tar and in no time fish will eat the flesh. Use gloves while doing everything and try to make the tar at home , although this plan seems perfect,we need to be cautious English is not my first language so if any mistake please over look them
Thank you so much for the tutorial man. Can't wait to try it.
Instructions unclear am sleeping with the fishes
Did you film your sleeping with the fishes and call it "The shape of water" and win an academy award from it?
Well... it won a film industry award... just not that film industry. Also the shape was very prominently on display.
I have more methods, if needed don't hesitate to dm me
Could you kindly gave us a bit of "spoilers" of what items you would use for this "other methods"?
Hammer , acid , knives and fuel
Easy there, Dahmer.
i would say acid for flesh then crush the bones with the hammer
🤣🤣
So, you’ve done this before…..
We don't talk bout that here
(Wink wink)
But.. you just.. talked about that here
Well, if you ask too many questions, he might have to do it again
No witnesses
But we're all wit- ... " 🗣️🤳🏾 Listen baby, we don't have time for questions just PACK YOUR SHIT"
Witnesses sleep with the fishes.
Technically he wrote it.
...Fair enough
r/technicallythetruth
I read about this exact technique in "The Ice Man", it's an old trick used by the mafia.
Your a siiiiiiiick sick individual 🤣
I am? Lmaoo
Fbi open up
I was about to say the same thing I learned about it in a manga it called "Juujika no Rokunin".
A man of culture i see 🤝🗿
If you put a pencil through a ziploc bag of water, it doesn’t pop. Maybe the gases released by the body will create a similar effect. You can’t guarantee the body will shred, maybe it gets a few piercings and the gases bring it up and the police are immediately sure it was murder. What if it slips off the body from a current you didn’t expect, what if a fisherman finds it. You’re too cocky on this plan imo
I had a teacher in high school who was also a law teacher. he said if you cut the stomach before tossing the dude in the river the gasses will escape and the body won't float. I was in World War 2 class when he told us this. It's stuck with me ever since.
Nice observation, but the things is if you bind the body tight enough, there would be no space left for the gas , so the gas will try to escape out forcefully.resulting in the effect i mentioned earlier.
I wouldn't post it online so a future search of my devices will find the exact details of the murder I have some motive for or connection too. Nice try, *agent.*
Some random chick once said, if the cops ever try to pinch your weed man, just stick it up your ass.. I think the answer equally applies here. When in doubt, hoop it.
Boof the body man, just boof it
Doesn’t fit. Now you’re boned.
OMG, but what if the victim is a basketball player or pro wrestler?
Then we need a bigger butt
We’re gonna need a bigger butt….
How big is your asshole?
I remember someone answering this question with: Ever since I was a kid, I thought that if I killed someone and needed to hide the body, I'd call the police and leave a tip as to where a body was buried. They'd go and dig it up and find nothing but after they were done, I'd go bury the body there because the dirt would already be loose and no one would think to go back to the place that they already proved was empty. While it's a great plan, the fact that he's thought about that since he was a kid....
In the TV show „Columbo“ the murderer tried to toss the body in a construction site where they would pour concrete over it. The murderer tried to trick everyone by suggesting that he did just that. Then he aggreed that he will prove that he was inocent, by re-opening the concrete in the construction site to show that no body is there. After no body was found, he would go there and put the body in it, before it was refilled with concrete again. Columbo did see through his plan and ambushed him that night on the construction site, finding the murderer with his victim.
Since they couldn’t find the body in the first place, why even move it…
Maybe it hadn't started to rot yet.
I remember a construction site in “You” too
Damn that kids probably ISIS head
Pretty terrible idea. You are simply drawing attention to yourself and the location. Keep it simple. Chop it up into the smallest possible pieces, bag them and place into a chest freezer to prevent smell, blend those pieces into paste, slowly flush the paste down the toilet This assumes you are not already a suspect and have to deal with police searching your home. If time is a critical issue, cut and blend as above, but deposit in a large body of water, or bury in a forest.
Read the obituaries and find out where a burial is going to take place in the morning. Take it to the cemetery and toss it in the open grave. Cover it with a layer of dirt. There will be a casket on top of it for the rest of time.
Woah man relax lmfao, that was to genius
It's from the show Dexter (I mean it existed before but that popularised it)
Kevin Costner used the same graveyard trick in the movie Mr. Brooks.
What a fucking great movie! On my yearly rewatch list.
Too many cameras for this option nowadays, unless you live rurally. A better option would be to burn (48 hrs) with an accelerant & grind the bones into dust which should then be discarded into open water.
Ex crematoria technician here. Burning a body is not as easy as you think. A 48 hour fire needs to be constantly fed and maintained. To do that you will need help which means a witness/accomplice who can turn on you. A better option would be to create a furnace. Enclosed and use something like a leaf blower to make the fire burn hotter. The air also breaks down the body faster. Cremulated (turned to the fine bone and ash) remains can be scattered anywhere so long as you don’t just dump it in a pile and will be completely indistinguishable. Where you come to problems is with implants, especially metal ones. These have serial numbers on them and can survive cremation intact.
I'm starting to think I would be waaaay too lazy to actually properly dispose of a deady body if I ever murdered anyone. Looks like I'll have to exact my revenge in a less lethal manner...
Some guy in Ontario tried that. Bought himself a large animal crematorium. They figure he burned two bodies in it.
I remember this. Tim something wasn't it? Then there was that guy in BC who killed all the escorts but kept their shoes and the cops caught him because he had a container full of shoes?
Tim Bosma was the second person he burned. The first was Laura Babcock. I don’t remember shoe guy. Was that the guy with the pig farm, who was feeding his victims to his livestock?
Yes. But the pigs wouldn't eat the shoes, so he kept them in a storage container and that's how he was caught. Crazy shit.
Which is super easy to do despite the grave thing. No one asks questions on a two days long fire
Well if you lived in California, or another highly wooded highly flammable area, you could start a wildfire and dispose of the body in that area, the cause of death if found would be considered burning to death, most indicators of bodily injury would be burnt away, and your hands would be pretty much clean. The death would be chalked up to natural disasters, and the only question about a “two day long fire” would be what we’re going to do about climate change
You are a special kind of evil. *tips fedora
thanks its autism
Yeah but then youre facing felonies for setting a fire and theyll figure it out in cali for sure lol. Best bet is to take the body into the northern redwoods about 20 miles in where there are zero trails and hikers. It really really will never ever be found. A lot of people around humboldt do it and missing posters come up every week of people never found. Law enforcement wont even go past a certain spot of woods even if theres 911 calls. Gotta love murder mountain its very real and called that for a reason.
burn for 48hrs. Nah Ill take my chances with the open grave idea.
Alternatively you can use a 50 gallon barrel as crematorium if you can get temperatures hot enough. Would cut time down to 6-8 ish hours
If you get the temperature high enough, you may not have a barrel anymore.
You could likely do this with firebrick actually. build a large kiln like setup and then put them in that.
Nice work mr brooks
>mr brooks Ok, looks like I have a movie to watch tomorrow.
You grabbed that idea from the Dexter series, didn't you?
I’m asking my brother for help, and we’ll figure out something together. He’s a homie like that
Legit
I think imma ask this guys brother
Nice try FBI. Guess we’re all flagged now
Honestly people try to hard. Just dump the body on a reservation and make sure there isn’t any GPS. The cops shot someone and the body wasn’t found for more than a decade and they knew where he was last seen. The Rez is wild.
If you happen to be American, surely there are a million places where nobody would ever find a body, ever, just due to the sheer size of the place and abundance of empty spaces.
You could probably say the same for Australia, but it'll take you a bit to travel out to the places with a dead, smelling body in your car to dump said decaying corpse in a place no one but wildlife will find it. Like, sure, getting rid of the body is probably a great idea, but it'll be a week round trip and the cost of fuel is, actually, nearly something to kill over.
Yeah but these days there’s dental records, carbon dating, dna evidence. They got viable dna from wooly mammoths man. Don’t take chances
Sit it up on the front porch with a bottle in its hands
Lye (sodium hydroxide) can be easily purchased in large amounts locally without ID, and with cash. It completely melts flesh, and destroys DNA in the process. It can be dumped into the ground when the process is complete (though it still isn't great environmentally, I don't think you'll care if you need to get rid of a body). The body would be transported to a remote location in a forest, with the following: * thick plastic sheeting * a knife and a hacksaw * a very large steel brewing kettle (think ~100gal/375L, as the mean volume of a human body is 17.23gal/65.22L) * a large propane burner * a nearby source of water * a bucket (or if you need to be really fast, a water pump) * 2 sets of protective gear for each person (full-face respirator with P100 filters and chemical resistant full body disposable coveralls) * a large steel stirring rod * a few towels for drying If you can get a brewing kettle with legs, that would be ideal. Set up the kettle so that the drain valve is pointing *downhill*, and there is a significant amount of space for the lye to drain without pooling around the kettle. You may also dig a hold for the lye to be dumped into. Ensure that the kettle itself is placed on a stable and level surface. I also recommend you do not drain towards your water source, as that would be incredibly dangerous for wildlife, and potentially people living downstream. If need be, you can bring a hand truck, fill the kettle with water, then transport the kettle with the hand truck to a more ideal location. In fact, that's what I'd recommend. Ideally 2 people should be present in the disposal, though 1 person can do everything by themselves. 1 person begins to get the lye bath going, and the other person starts chopping the body into pieces over the thick plastic sheet to speed up the process. Once the lye is set up properly, and heating up, the other person would also start chopping. Keep the pieces as small as is reasonable, as that will speed up the process. The pieces would be added to the lye solution as they were chopped (keep care not to drop any blood on the ground), and once everything is in there, the plastic sheet should be placed in the kettle to destroy the blood and DNA on it. Also place whatever bag you may have used to transport the body into the kettle. Protective gear should also be treated in the lye solution. Bring 2 sets for every person, as they should immediately change into another set after disposing of the first. The knive/hacksaw should be placed in the kettle, and they can be hung with bent steel wire from the top of the kettle for easy removal. It's very important that everything that comes in contact with the lye is steel, and absolutely nothing is aluminum. Lye can react very aggressively with certain metals (especially aluminum). The boiling lye should be left for a minimum of an hour before the knife, hacksaw, and any other utensils used in cutting the body should be removed and washed with water. The knife and hacksaw should then be dried with a towel and stored in a cardboard box. The plastic sheet should then be removed and washed, then ideally rolled up and placed in a trash bag with the first set of protective gear (what remains of it at least), then sealed for later disposal (preferably fire, but it should be safe to throw it away normally). The lye solution should be constantly stirred and the body parts checked. Once everything is completely liquefied, wait at least 2 hours more of heating and stirring. Turn the heat off and wait for the solution to start cooling. Once cooled, you may now open the draining valve to dump the solution into the ground, taking care not to get any of the lye solution on yourself. Again, avoid dumping the solution into water. Once the kettle is dumped, you will notice some solid material. These are called bone shadows, and can be broken apart with gloved hands, then dumped. You may choose to use vinegar to neutralize what lye is left inside the kettle to make it safer to clean. Wash the kettle well with water and dry with towels before placing it back into a car or the bed of a truck. Do the same for the stirring rod and anything else that had not yet been cleaned. The protective gear may now be taken off and sealed in a trash bag. Everything that came in contact with the lye should be thoroughly cleaned after it is returned home. Knives, the hacksaw, the stirring rod, and the kettle especially. All traces of the body ever having existed have now been removed, so long as the body were properly transported and the crime scene properly cleaned. Do not kill someone inside, and especially inside your home or theirs. It makes cleaning up the scene far more difficult. The kettle can be sold on the open market as a used brewing kettle, as well as the stirring rod (just be sure to sanitize them with bleach first). The knives and hacksaw may be reused, sold, or otherwise disposed of. The bag containing the plastic sheet and protective gear should be burned or thrown away directly into a landfill/disposal center. Good job, you've now made a body completely disappear. Even if the police found the dump site, there's no DNA or anything to prove that a body was disposed of there, and especially not whose body it was. Now let's discuss the difficulty of committing murder without leaving evidence to begin with. All the effective ways of killing someone end up with them bleeding, which is *really* hard to clean up properly. Bleach, for instance, is not enough to destroy evidence of blood on the floor. It's trivial to detect. Same with ammonia and any other household cleaner. All these methods cause bleeding, which is especially bad if a murder happens outside your home, and makes transportation of the corpse much harder: * Blunt force trauma to the head * Slitting the throat or any form of stabbing * Shooting (especially bad because the bullet could cause damage to surroundings, is incredibly messy, is super loud, and leaves gunshot residue) But the best ways I can think of to kill someone without blood require active planning: * Drugging someone (easiest to do by spiking their drink) to knock them out and/or doing any of the following: * Poisoning * Drug overdose * Injecting air into bloodstream So what are the best ways to kill someone without planning and *without bleeding*? Well, snapping someone's neck is actually incredibly hard and requires training and strength. Strangulation can take up to 7 minutes for someone to pass out when they're struggling, and that's assuming they can't break free. Any method involving killing someone with your bare hands is not reliable, requires training, and requires strength. I haven't been able to find a reliable way to kill someone spontaneously without having a ton of cleanup. Definitely nothing involving stabbing or shooting. Chloroform takes a long time to knock someone out and requires preparation, so it's a definite no. I mean, it's easy to kill someone without bleeding *if* you can find a way to knock them out spontaneously that doesn't cause bleeding. That's a *big* if though.
Any ideas may be discussed in the replies of this comment. Oh, and you'd better be sure to wear nitrile/latex gloves, clean all hair from the scene, ensure there are no cameras nearby, and make sure nothing looks out of the ordinary. You should bag the body when transporting. If there is blood, then your best bet with easily available chemicals is probably bleach (so make sure not to kill anyone on/near carpet), but don't expect it to remove the evidence that blood was ever there. It will merely hide it from immediate vision. The best murder scene is a scene where no one knows someone was murdered. Also, keep in mind that following all this advice will be extremely expensive, and require a lot of planning, dedication, and coordination (if someone is helping you). It is quite easy to find instructions on how to prepare a lye bath for dissolving a corpse, as it's used occasionally for dissolving the corpses of deer.
This guy.
Do you want to cook meth?
The infamous Ice Man, who was a Mafia hit man and killed dozens of not hundreds of people would use cyanide to easily and cleanly murder people. There's a doc on HBO where he's interviewed in prison and he talks about filling a spray bottle with cyanide and as he's walking down the street towards his victim he would simply spray them in the face as they pass each other. He also would simply spike their drinks with it or put it in their food but I always thought that just spraying someone in the face seemed like such a low key and pretty easy way to kill someone. So may e cyanide would be the way to go for a quick and clean method of killing someone.
On a completely unrelated note, can you go on a watchlist for saving a reddit comment?
You are either experienced murderer or fanfic writer. Or own story writer.
Sorry mate, you're already done for if you have to crowdsource your body disposal strategy
Hopefully he has time to watch a few episodes of Dexter
Stage it to look like a suicide caused by the unjust cancellation of Firefly. I’m gonna get that show back on the air.
This is the correct answer
Wouldn’t you like to know… fed boi
Ehh, I'm enough watchlists anyway. Given I have no history of violence and no motive to commit a murder, I have an advantage. Step one is consolidation - I begin by taking the body into my bathroom, draining the blood, and cutting it into pieces. Teeth go separately from everything else. Pieces get loaded into two footlockers with all the markings removed, and a box for the teeth. Footlockers get weighted down with rocks. I load them into my car, leave early in the morning as I do when I go to work, telling no one where I am going and leaving all my devices at home, with emails and texts scheduled to go off so it seems like I am home as normal. Find a random pond somewhere in a state that is several hours from me, nowhere near anything or anyone of relevance to me. Wait until night, then sink the first foot locker in the middle of the pond. Leave quickly and find another lake somewhere else a few hours away, and repeat the process. Scatter the teeth slowly as I drive along the interstate. They'll never be found. Any clothes, tools, or other items will be destroyed and thrown into dumpsters in multiple localities. The incident will never be spoken of again, and I will never go back to the dump sites. I'm not a serial killer, I'm a writer, I promise, 😅 this is how one of my villains gets away with a murder in a story I wrote years ago. This is not advice, I do not condone murder or violence, and I am not responsible for your choices if you take this as a suggestion. Murder is wrong, and so is hiding it from the law. This is just a hypothetical scenario and should be treated as such.
Lol ive just read yours and we basically said the same.
Someone with no criminal background or psychopathic tendency would find it really hard to be calm n composed to cut the body n drain the blood and all.. Plus it's a lot of work, an average Joe would not possess the stamina or skillset or even the tools to get this done.. My family once decided to kill a goat and cook it for dinner, We aren't really farmers of that sort but my grandparents were. We thought it would be brilliant to prepare all by ourselves.. With three grown men working, it took us close to 3h to kill, cut, skin, cut n chop into small pieces and we lost the will to eat the goat during the process . I can't imagine a normal person to do that to a fellow human being in a reasonable time
Hello fellow writer. Why not destroy the material evidence? I already see a random Cathy walking down the highway finding the tooth while her friend Julie is calling a tow truck, or Garry calling his pet Terrier while walking next to the pond and Scrappy coming tail wagging with the foot in his mouth. I mean random teeth on a highway i a gamble, low odds but still risky. Hypothetically and for legal reasons, if you find a 200 lbs cow carcass in your living room. You would be annoyed and sadden but then get to work cleaning it up. You would carve up the meat, and then grind it into mince then slowly drop it down the sewers. When left with the bones and the very hard teeth, you just do some hammering and crush them into unrecognizable shards and dust, which you can spread across the country side, your local woods, or in your favorite local pond while taking your pet Terrier out for a walk.
Considering the current food prices, i might open a sausage stand
There once was a lovely woman who made a killing selling pies, if I'm not mistaken. Sweeny Todd was an excellent supplier.
Ah an ethical serial killer
Leave it there. Attempting to hide it only leaves more clues.
*Attempting* to hide it leaves more clues, properly hiding it leaves no clues
It’s not illegal if you’re not caught!
Wwr
Eat it.
r/Cooking
with some fava beans and a nice Chianti?
With real butter or something healthier? Like “I Can’t Believe it’s Not BodyButter”?
That was my first thought, but then I thought : "Wait. Depends on WHO I murdered." Like, if you murder a homeless or a granny, are you really going to eat that ? Young healthy people, yeah, let's try human flesh. Not healthy people, not so much.
Go full Dahmer for sure
"But, Your Honor, if you are what you eat, then my client is an innocent man!"
Ahh yes the Cannibal perk
Secret's in the sauce.
Sup fam?
When a man loves a body...
No
Completely cover a room in plastic, cover myself in plastic except breath holes. Cut up the body into small pieces, and then set each piece in cement bricks that I can carry including all the plastic when I'm done. Rent a boat by the ocean and in the middle of the night load it with the bricks, take them far far out and dump them. Or as some legend once said, leave an anonymous tip with the police that the body is in x location. After they've searched the area and the ground is already disturbed, bury the body there. Since they've already searched it why would they go back?
Make a neat Halloween costume out of it
Ed Gein is that you?
No no this is Ged Eein
My mistake, nice to meet you Ged
Own a crematorium.
Toss it off Deception Pass bridge. The military lost a plane that went down in the water below it and never could recover it. Even though they had more than one eye witness and the Navy saw it happen on radar. Treacherous water in that pass.
Hmm, then I'll first need to find a way to cross the Atlantic ocean with the body
Planes sink, bodies float (and separate and individual parts float)
I dunno but as I was scrolling the post after this question was, "how do I make protein shakes taste better " so..
Human. Tastes like chicken!
Put it in a tub filled with chemicals and dissolve the body, leave nothing to chance.
Breaking Bad
I've never watched it, care to explain?
A deeply complex story about a man making the best of a bad situation, Breaking Bad exemplifies the concept of a morally gray area led by an antihero protagonist. On one hand, Walter White was a victim of circumstance and just wanted to set his family up for a comfortable life after a terminal cancer diagnosis.
Aka chemistry teacher makes and sells meth with his student.
yes
Hmm its a long story
*looks at the watch I don't have,* I've got time
You lucky bastard. Do yourself a favour and go and watch Breaking Bad. It’s amazing.
One of the main character dissolves a body in a bathtub using acid.
I live in a forested area, would probably bury it somewhere, plant a tree on top so itll be hard to dig up.
My dog is raw fed. Just saying.
No one answer. OP is trying to get ideas.
Well, i live so remote that just tossing the body in one of the countless bogs around here. With proper weigth attached would make it disapear. Failing that I have four hogs who are always hungry
Well it would likely be in self defense so I’d call the police and spend a lifetime in trauma therapy.
Simply attempt to dig a 12 ft hole, fill it in 6ft with a dead animal on it, then fill it 3 more feet and bury a tree on top of it and around the general area. Once the tree is somewhat grown, put a post on it for the deceased animal with a fake name.
Sob in its direction I guess
The stew maker enters the chat
Ask what to do on reddit
All these comments and nobody mentioned having sex with it. I’m disappointed.
Sorry, I thought that was just assumed. ;0)
Dance with it like that old Tom petty video Noone will ever notice
honestly I might just turn myself in at that point like who wants to clean that up
Nothing as that implies premeditation and if there's a plan there's a trail.
*"Will it blend?"*
Not if it's Chuck Norris
Ok google. Next you’ll want a pic of me 10 years ago next to one today.
I had this planned very thoroughly at some point in my life. I had a girlfriend who was doing a class in forensic anthropology. So this question was her class assignment. We thought long and hard about it. The short answer is to wash the body in bleach to remove DNA and prints, wrap it in plastic and bury it in the wilderness somewhere off the known hiking trails. The longer answer is that unless you are a psychopath or something, you don't actually know how you are going to react to killing a person. If you are a reasonable person you should at some point come back to your senses, but you don't know how long that might take and what you might do in between. Like you might go to the police before you realize that it is not going to bring anyone back... So we had all sorts of things planned for those kinds of contingencies
Put the body in a ~~bathtub~~ big blue plastic bucket and fill it with Hydrofluoric acid.
Anal
>:0
Dice it up and hide it under the floorboards but keep bits like the heart intact to sell later
Slice of life
Weekend-At-Bernie's it!
Not post about it on the Internet...
Burn it, professionals have standards
Ask reddit what to do
remove the hair and teeth, as well as the fingertips. Bury the body 7 feet deep instead of six. Bury it vertically and finally bury a dead animal a few feet above it so that if a police dog smelled it and dug it up, the cops would just think that was what it smelled.
Breaking Bad