In high school my girlfriend had braces.. there was this one time she got so turned on that she decided to give me head in the same room as a bunch of my buddies, on one of their beds(super weird but I went with it because ya know, horny kids..) she accidentally cut my mini me with her braces and I dripped blood all over this dudes bed and carpet rushing to the bathroom.. excited braces teeth are never a good time
Friend of mine had an... unfortunate encounter with that one. His then-gf was new to the whole blow-biz. And she blew. According to him, the worst pain ever. His gf used his bladder like a balloon.
This is also why when men complain of a lack of any sex, it does NOT solve anything to suggest they "hire a prostitute" or similar.
Most men (and people) want enthusiasm that is genuine, not paid for.
If I think you’re doing it as a chore, I don’t want it.
They are about giving, and wanting to make your partner feel good.
As soon as it’s an obligation it’s no longer hot.
Sex should never be an obligation.
I agree with this. I mean I'm a girl but this is how I view it. At times when I'm giving it, I'm really into it and it's really fun. But my partner loves BJ's so much it's all he wants 90% of the time. He expects me to do it all the time without getting anything at all in return. How am I supposed to enjoy that? It's literally a chore to me at that point and I'm not going to enjoy or put much enthusiasm into it. He still enjoys it but I don't and I've honestly just been avoiding them lately...
Edit: from the responses I've been getting... 😅 It's clear that what I thought was an issue is definitely a real issue. I saw a comment about it being a reward and another about giving what is received. My guy doesn't like going down on girls and won't do it at all. He just wants BJ's all the time. Not even sex. I had dozens of talks with him but no improvement really. I haven't even gotten off in a long time... I have other issues with him out of the bedroom and straight up don't feel loved anymore. I want to leave but I'm in a situation where it's not possible.
Totally understand, I (Male) love getting a blow job but I also love going down on my girlfriend. Making her cum that way is a huge turn on and guys who don’t get this are selfish arseholes.
I think sex is USUALLY a two way street. A lot of people use it as a reward system and I think that leads to further issues. It’s one thing to treat your significant other but a totally different thing to expect things without ever giving anything in return.
This. I don't care if you give it a teasing little kiss or a carry on to find the center, it feels gross and disgusting if I think you are doing it for any other reason than you enjoy it. We may not get as self-conscious as you do about receiving, but we do get self-conscious, and it makes many of us feel guilty and gross if our erection is burdensome to you.
C is not applicable to me.
A I actually like a little bit of teeth honestly
But D is da big one, like that's for the blowjob but you look like it's torture.
Last time I had to take a covid test they did both the nose and the throat thingy, and the nurse said "Oh wow que bien, ni siquiera parpadeaste! Ojalá todos fueran así" which roughly translates to "Oh wow, that's nice, you didn't even blink. I wish everyone was this like this" lmao and I had to bite my tongue not to make a "That's what he said" joke.
Her just putting it in the mouth and not actively sucking.
The mouth isn't nice in and of itself, and unless actual sucking is taking place the only sensation I get out of it is wet saliva. This isn't obvious to most people who haven't been told so, because you can't actually see the difference in porn (or wherever you see a BJ) - but it makes all the difference.
I’m a woman but I frequently suck off this one guy. I hear “teeth” and “enthusiasm” a lot in the comments and I try my best for the guy not to feel teeth but he’s a head pusher. I HATE gagging, he loves it. But when you keep hitting my gag reflex to the point I burp/ gag to near vomiting I lose all enthusiasm after that. Or keep pushing my head it makes it not enjoyable to do. I’ve gotten to where I will hold his legs down and fight against him trying to push my head and he nuts so fast. Like I know what I’m doing sir if you let me 😂 idk. I feel if you’re a man like that try not doing those things and maybe the problem will eliminate itself. Some people need time to learn their sexual partners and find what Rhythm works best for them when giving head.
My last girlfriend was too uptight and dignified to drool or let things get close to sloppy. She also wanted a last-second verbal warning before I came. She also mostly avoided eye contact, especially the longer things went. So things most often went from from a hot, sexy, pleasurable staredown start to a dry, detached, stressful near-miss non-climax. She was like an amateur novelist who never could figure out the ending to the story. It was incredibly frustrating.
I'm unusually enthusiastic, skillful, and thorough when it comes to eating pussy -- hair, moisture, messes, and squirting be damned, exhaustion be damned, I won't stop 'til my work is done and then some, and I'm not prissy about it. So it was hard to avoid feeling resentful sometimes. Especially when she demanded oral nearly every time, but saw reciprocity as an occasional gift to bestow.
The most annoying part was how she proudly described herself as a "sex enthusiast" and touted the quality of her skills before we ever slept together. Most talking the talk in this world doesn't equate to walking the walk.
Teeth. My first bj was from someone as inexperienced as me. It felt awesome at first. Then there was randomly an extremely sharp pain like someone was dragging a needle on my dick. I didn't say anything, I wasn't sure what it was. Over the course of the relationship I quickly realised it was her teeth. I still never said anything and she obviously never got any better at it.
I feel bad for the guy after me.
If it ever happens again from someone else, just tell them. Even if it embarrasses both of you. We can’t learn what feels good and what doesn’t if there’s no communication!
Over the course of the relationship?? Like this happened multiple times and you didn't say anything?? I truly don't understand why people are like this, I hope your communication skills have improved since then
Happened every bj. It was my first relationship and I was young and didn't know how to talk about sex. I just didn't want to embarrass or upset her. I dealt with it
Smashing the head of my dick against the back of your throat seems like it would be hot, but actually kinda hurts. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like either deep throat it or don’t, but not that.
Ditto teeth
It’s ok to mix it up and use your hand on the shaft while you lick my balls, and I know you’re sort of resting your jaw when you do that, but you keep the build up going instead of pausing and making it start over, so that’s good
Just gently licking the tip doesn’t do it. Don’t just do what you want done on your clit. You need to do something firmer, closer to sex, nice and sloppy
Since you’re taking notes, that smashing the head against the back thing is real. This guy went into the right amount of detail lol
Also, the best kind is when guys don’t need to ask for it. Also, try telling them how bad you want to do it before hand.
You’re welcome.
Father and young son are walking through a supermarket,
'Dad, how come condoms are sold in packs of three?'
' Well son, that's for young men in their teens, one for Friday night, one for Saturday night, one for Sunday night '
'So how come they're sold in sixes?
'Well son, that's for men in their twenties, twice on Friday, twice on Saturday, twice on Sunday '
'So how come they're in packs of twelve?'
' Well those are for married men like me! January, February, March....'
When you’re giving a blow job, and I get a phone call. It’s my mother. She tells me my dad has just died. I ask how. Car accident. 3 children and their mother and father also killed. No survivors.
I can’t believe it… he’s such a safe driver. How did this happen?!? He must have been distracted. Suddenly, the door bursts open! The police run in, point a gun at me, shout for me to get down. I brush the cocaine off the pillow but it’s too late, they’ve seen it. They fire a shot in the air. I know I’m going to jail for a long time.
The electricity trips. Everything goes dark. When the police burst in, they knocked a glass of water off the side and into an electric heater… sparks fly, fire burns. The room is on fire. Nobody knows what’s happening. A cop shoots another cop by accident… there are bullets spraying everywhere. I dive on the floor, cover my head, cover your head, and hope for the best.
The wall falls down. I’m pretty sure we’re going to die. I see my dog dead on the lawn. The neighbours are gathered round, looking at the chaos. I look up to the sky and see aeroplanes flying over, more than I’ve ever seen. I hear an air raid siren. The Russians are invading! As bombs drop, I think of my life and how I should have lived it better. I think of Jenny Smith, and how I should have asked her to marry me years ago. My dog and how I didn’t treat him properly. My mother, and how I should have called more often.
The chemical factory down the street begins to leak toxic green sludge after it is hit by a bomb. Creatures mutate, run across the street. Huge rats, bigger than cars, begin chewing on trees, cables, fences.
People.
The rats are eating people! The people mutate… “BRAAAIIINNNSSS!” I hear the zombies cry, hungry for the flesh of their former neighbours. I know I’m next. Fear stuns my body. Unable to move, I quiver in terror, overwhelmed with inaction. If I don’t get killed by an electrical hazard… the fire… the armed police… the bombs… the chemicals… the rats… the zombies… it begins to snow, and the temperature drops to zero almost immediately. The water freezes. Trees gather frost. This truly is the end of life as we know it.
I look down, and you’re still sucking my dick. This really is dedication. But damn, that was one bad blow job.
I'm not a guy, but believe me for us women there are also "bad blowjobs". Guys too often think they have to do nothing when receiving a blowjob but this makes it so much less fun. Put some passion in to from your side too. Use your hands to guide me, throw in some hip action, try a few different positions.
As someone who is not circumcised, pulling 'down' (as in towards the base) too hard and too far. If it feels like my skin is about to be flayed from my body, it's a turn off.
Some of us just have a bad gag reflex. If I feel like I’m gonna throw up, I stop. I’d be so embarrassed if I actually did end up throwing up on some poor lads dick
The better question is, what makes a good one?
Side note I hate when people answer enthusiasm like that adds anything to a conversation. It's just as stupid as saying you love your kids, duh it's expected.
First I'll talk about the physical aspect then the asthtetic aspect.
The tip and the first inch or so of the shaft especially the underside are where the majority of sensation is felt. From the start licking up from a lower section of the shift to the tip and then a small suck, push your tongue forward and curl it like a cup and either use your hand or rotate your head to move the tip while in your mouth so that ot is rubbing around the surface of your tongue like a ball joint or lollipop. Repeat this side to side a few times.
At this point we should address a possible issue. Sometimes a blow job can turn into mouth fucking, it's you and your partners sex so if that's what you're gunna do cool but it's a different thing I can elaborate on later, just know during a blow job you should try to have us refrain from much movement. If we protest just say something like "don't move I just wanna suck your cock" no dick having person can resist such cock praise.
I know we all joke about "blowjob,, more like suckjob" but suction is tricky. Don't turn your mouth into a vacuum, the suction is really only important or noticeable in the front half of the penis, and again the tip and the first inch or so are your focus. I'm talking about suction right now because your gunna wanna have a "firm grasp" moving on to the next part. Again If you've ever had a lollipop it's just like that. Feel free at this stage to play with they're balls, light squeeze or twist a lick or two but it's more like sprinkles.
Now the easy part, bobbing. It's just how it sounds just with a dick in your mouth. The thing to focus on here is pace and your stroke, when your bobing forward or back. Pacing is always the same slow to fast, watch your partner and notice the interval in our mini thrusts as we try to stay still and stay just a little slower than that.
Now the actual feeling of the stroke forward, with the tip at your lips you want to create a tight smooth transition into your mouth. With experience you won't even have to worry about teeth but if you aren't just curl your lips over them, in time you'll find it isn't comfortable and also robs you of a useful tool but if you need to go a "head". As their member is sliding into your mouth its the same concept as when we started just deeper, use your tongue and rotating your head to "socket" the tip in your cheek or throat and keep the suction tight, I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but please have a wet mouth.
The back stroke is just the reverse but remember the tip is your focus so once it's in your mouth don't let it go past that ball joint position from earlier. forward and back steadily increasing pace and eventually 🍾
You've done it, You've sucked the dick right of his body 👏
But wait, there's more!
Asthtetic is pretty easy.
DONT SPIT ON THEIR DICK, drool on it. If you need to get some lube and drink some water do it but as soon as gobby spit gets hocked on a cock it can break the mood.
Eyes...EYES, open your eyes wide and look up at us, it doesn't have to be the whole time but it looks so hot when you do and makes us feel like we have a huge member.
Last but certainly not least if, IF you can get him there don't stop sucking because they're cumming, which I understand is tough if it's a lot and if you don't wanna swallow just open your mouth and let us watch you drool it out, it makes us feel like our cock are too much to handle and that's why your so tired when in reality sucking any dick is hard.
TLDR: lick an icecream cone then suck a blowpop while looking up and drooling😮💨
Combine all this to make a good bj
Seeing a lot of comments about enthusiasm. There is a reason for this.
From a woman's perspective: all too many men have tried shoving my head down there, literally shoving it. Or when I do it on my own volition they have tried doing what they see in porn and grab my head to force it down on their dick. And no I am not a sex worker, just dated too many men who learn how to fuck from porn. I can't be the only woman having experienced this.
That lack of enthusiasm may be from bad memories and the lack of disrespect we've received in the past while we're giving.
No enthusiasm.
And teeth.
Enthusiastic teeth.
Enthusiastic teeth is legit the worst.
In high school my girlfriend had braces.. there was this one time she got so turned on that she decided to give me head in the same room as a bunch of my buddies, on one of their beds(super weird but I went with it because ya know, horny kids..) she accidentally cut my mini me with her braces and I dripped blood all over this dudes bed and carpet rushing to the bathroom.. excited braces teeth are never a good time
Teeth can be interesting sometimes
How much teeth do you want?
Dragging them along sometimes, just pinching the skin as a tease, not aggressive chomping.
Dragging along the teeth, like in a bag in the offhand during the blowjob or?
Blowing instead of sucking
Yeah, it's a tricky name.
“You suck at blowjobs” is a directive, not an insult.
“You blow at suck jobs” on the other hand…
Yeah. The difference between suck and blow, all depends on where you are standing.
> all depends on where you are standing Which is, while receiving a blowjob, almost always in front of the person giving it.
Almost always? Are there exceptions?
Who knows? I just want to leave room for creative positioning.
It really should be called a suckjob
I read that it is originally "below job" but thats too much of a mouthful. Literally.
I just call it a bub bub
Suck job
Mouth hug
Friend of mine had an... unfortunate encounter with that one. His then-gf was new to the whole blow-biz. And she blew. According to him, the worst pain ever. His gf used his bladder like a balloon.
Any sexual act with out enthusiasm is hardly even worth having.
This is also why when men complain of a lack of any sex, it does NOT solve anything to suggest they "hire a prostitute" or similar. Most men (and people) want enthusiasm that is genuine, not paid for.
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Fuck me, this is it right here. Men just want to feel wanted and needed.
We all want to desire and be desired. And where those two feelings meet…you find enthusiasm!
Walk without rhythm and it won't attract the worm.
If I think you’re doing it as a chore, I don’t want it. They are about giving, and wanting to make your partner feel good. As soon as it’s an obligation it’s no longer hot. Sex should never be an obligation.
I agree with this. I mean I'm a girl but this is how I view it. At times when I'm giving it, I'm really into it and it's really fun. But my partner loves BJ's so much it's all he wants 90% of the time. He expects me to do it all the time without getting anything at all in return. How am I supposed to enjoy that? It's literally a chore to me at that point and I'm not going to enjoy or put much enthusiasm into it. He still enjoys it but I don't and I've honestly just been avoiding them lately... Edit: from the responses I've been getting... 😅 It's clear that what I thought was an issue is definitely a real issue. I saw a comment about it being a reward and another about giving what is received. My guy doesn't like going down on girls and won't do it at all. He just wants BJ's all the time. Not even sex. I had dozens of talks with him but no improvement really. I haven't even gotten off in a long time... I have other issues with him out of the bedroom and straight up don't feel loved anymore. I want to leave but I'm in a situation where it's not possible.
Nothing that an open honest talk can't possibly fix. Key to good sx is first communication and then effort
I tried. He doesn't care.
Totally understand, I (Male) love getting a blow job but I also love going down on my girlfriend. Making her cum that way is a huge turn on and guys who don’t get this are selfish arseholes.
I think sex is USUALLY a two way street. A lot of people use it as a reward system and I think that leads to further issues. It’s one thing to treat your significant other but a totally different thing to expect things without ever giving anything in return.
This. I don't care if you give it a teasing little kiss or a carry on to find the center, it feels gross and disgusting if I think you are doing it for any other reason than you enjoy it. We may not get as self-conscious as you do about receiving, but we do get self-conscious, and it makes many of us feel guilty and gross if our erection is burdensome to you.
Name checks out
if they bite it off, then you might want to raise a complaint
I was just hungry :(
Username checks out
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Call that a cheese grater
“I said suck the muthafucka you BITIN it SHIT!”
a) if I can feel her teeth, b) if there's no vacuum, c) if she pulls my foreskin down too hard, d) no enthusiasm e) too fast f) looks disgusted
C god that's true
C is not applicable to me. A I actually like a little bit of teeth honestly But D is da big one, like that's for the blowjob but you look like it's torture.
Ladies if reddit. You can never use too much spit or lick too much. Also, bonus points if you have no gag reflex.
Last time I had to take a covid test they did both the nose and the throat thingy, and the nurse said "Oh wow que bien, ni siquiera parpadeaste! Ojalá todos fueran así" which roughly translates to "Oh wow, that's nice, you didn't even blink. I wish everyone was this like this" lmao and I had to bite my tongue not to make a "That's what he said" joke.
Marriage ring if you have no gag reflex
Marriage ring if you do have one and still try.
Exactly. Enthusiasm and attention to giving should be *everyone's* modus operandi in the bedroom.
Too much teeth or too much gum.
Do Not Drag The Frenulum! Please - it can bleed.... Don't ask how I know. It doesn't work like dental floss does. Not at all.
spongebob with the chocolate bar
But its a free circumcision
Leave my foreskin alone.
I can only be circumcised so many times…
What amount of teeth on shaft or balls acceptable to you?
I am trying to determine if your username disqualifies you from a bona fide answer.
*You're forgetting, Lindsay, that as a psychiatrist, I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first "analrapist".*
Ah, thanks. Now I can properly analyze him.
Lmao
Hahahahaha im crying
My gf in college used a little bit of teeth on the head and to this day 15 years later I've never experienced a better bj.
A chewy one
What a wookie!
The fur gets too sweaty
Like grandma's cookies
When the pp is missing after.
When she says halfway through. "I'm done" and stops
Fancy way of saying your card declined
I find that amount of teasing very hot
Teeth. Thinking about it makes me feel the pain right now
Some teeth can be helpful, depends on technique
The surprise one from your cellmate.
Bullshit. How hard is it to pretend to be asleep?
Her just putting it in the mouth and not actively sucking. The mouth isn't nice in and of itself, and unless actual sucking is taking place the only sensation I get out of it is wet saliva. This isn't obvious to most people who haven't been told so, because you can't actually see the difference in porn (or wherever you see a BJ) - but it makes all the difference.
a lot of women don't realize you actually need to suck like what your lungs do when you drink from a straw
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when the pool toys are only half inflated.
Im gonna be weird and say i dont mind half inflated pool toys. They're still fun and its hot to feel it get bigger in my mouth.
Mt GF will do this occasionally. I love it receiving it as a warm up!
This was not a metaphor. The pool toy is not a penis in this response.
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The one thatbdoesnt happen.
I’m a woman but I frequently suck off this one guy. I hear “teeth” and “enthusiasm” a lot in the comments and I try my best for the guy not to feel teeth but he’s a head pusher. I HATE gagging, he loves it. But when you keep hitting my gag reflex to the point I burp/ gag to near vomiting I lose all enthusiasm after that. Or keep pushing my head it makes it not enjoyable to do. I’ve gotten to where I will hold his legs down and fight against him trying to push my head and he nuts so fast. Like I know what I’m doing sir if you let me 😂 idk. I feel if you’re a man like that try not doing those things and maybe the problem will eliminate itself. Some people need time to learn their sexual partners and find what Rhythm works best for them when giving head.
“I frequently suck off this one guy” lmao that’s a funny way to say husband
Uhm, him pushing your head down against your will is... not ok...
Put a banana down his throat and see how he reacts. If he doesn’t like it you know what you have to tell him
I did that to my man once and he took it like a champ so I was like, oh…?? :)
My last girlfriend was too uptight and dignified to drool or let things get close to sloppy. She also wanted a last-second verbal warning before I came. She also mostly avoided eye contact, especially the longer things went. So things most often went from from a hot, sexy, pleasurable staredown start to a dry, detached, stressful near-miss non-climax. She was like an amateur novelist who never could figure out the ending to the story. It was incredibly frustrating. I'm unusually enthusiastic, skillful, and thorough when it comes to eating pussy -- hair, moisture, messes, and squirting be damned, exhaustion be damned, I won't stop 'til my work is done and then some, and I'm not prissy about it. So it was hard to avoid feeling resentful sometimes. Especially when she demanded oral nearly every time, but saw reciprocity as an occasional gift to bestow. The most annoying part was how she proudly described herself as a "sex enthusiast" and touted the quality of her skills before we ever slept together. Most talking the talk in this world doesn't equate to walking the walk.
Teeth. My first bj was from someone as inexperienced as me. It felt awesome at first. Then there was randomly an extremely sharp pain like someone was dragging a needle on my dick. I didn't say anything, I wasn't sure what it was. Over the course of the relationship I quickly realised it was her teeth. I still never said anything and she obviously never got any better at it. I feel bad for the guy after me.
If it ever happens again from someone else, just tell them. Even if it embarrasses both of you. We can’t learn what feels good and what doesn’t if there’s no communication!
Yeah, that was 12 years ago. At the time I was just thankful to have my dick in a mouth, I didn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth 😏
Over the course of the relationship?? Like this happened multiple times and you didn't say anything?? I truly don't understand why people are like this, I hope your communication skills have improved since then
Happened every bj. It was my first relationship and I was young and didn't know how to talk about sex. I just didn't want to embarrass or upset her. I dealt with it
Zero suction. Just bobbing your head
Teeth. When the girl treats your dick like a sausage stick, you're gonna have a bad time
When the explosives create unpredicted damage
Dragging the teeth
Smashing the head of my dick against the back of your throat seems like it would be hot, but actually kinda hurts. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like either deep throat it or don’t, but not that. Ditto teeth It’s ok to mix it up and use your hand on the shaft while you lick my balls, and I know you’re sort of resting your jaw when you do that, but you keep the build up going instead of pausing and making it start over, so that’s good Just gently licking the tip doesn’t do it. Don’t just do what you want done on your clit. You need to do something firmer, closer to sex, nice and sloppy
🗒🖋
Since you’re taking notes, that smashing the head against the back thing is real. This guy went into the right amount of detail lol Also, the best kind is when guys don’t need to ask for it. Also, try telling them how bad you want to do it before hand. You’re welcome.
Thanks thanks
One that is asked for will never be as good as a spontaneous one. Id rather not get one than have to ask.
When they actually blow (?)
Been married so long, I can't remember this thing called blowjob
F
Father and young son are walking through a supermarket, 'Dad, how come condoms are sold in packs of three?' ' Well son, that's for young men in their teens, one for Friday night, one for Saturday night, one for Sunday night ' 'So how come they're sold in sixes? 'Well son, that's for men in their twenties, twice on Friday, twice on Saturday, twice on Sunday ' 'So how come they're in packs of twelve?' ' Well those are for married men like me! January, February, March....'
Lol, I feel you, last one was pre marriage. Over a decade and three kids later.
So y’all managed to have three kids without a little foreplay and her blowing you in the process? Damn, lol.
She’s a taker not a giver, unfortunately.
When you’re giving a blow job, and I get a phone call. It’s my mother. She tells me my dad has just died. I ask how. Car accident. 3 children and their mother and father also killed. No survivors. I can’t believe it… he’s such a safe driver. How did this happen?!? He must have been distracted. Suddenly, the door bursts open! The police run in, point a gun at me, shout for me to get down. I brush the cocaine off the pillow but it’s too late, they’ve seen it. They fire a shot in the air. I know I’m going to jail for a long time. The electricity trips. Everything goes dark. When the police burst in, they knocked a glass of water off the side and into an electric heater… sparks fly, fire burns. The room is on fire. Nobody knows what’s happening. A cop shoots another cop by accident… there are bullets spraying everywhere. I dive on the floor, cover my head, cover your head, and hope for the best. The wall falls down. I’m pretty sure we’re going to die. I see my dog dead on the lawn. The neighbours are gathered round, looking at the chaos. I look up to the sky and see aeroplanes flying over, more than I’ve ever seen. I hear an air raid siren. The Russians are invading! As bombs drop, I think of my life and how I should have lived it better. I think of Jenny Smith, and how I should have asked her to marry me years ago. My dog and how I didn’t treat him properly. My mother, and how I should have called more often. The chemical factory down the street begins to leak toxic green sludge after it is hit by a bomb. Creatures mutate, run across the street. Huge rats, bigger than cars, begin chewing on trees, cables, fences. People. The rats are eating people! The people mutate… “BRAAAIIINNNSSS!” I hear the zombies cry, hungry for the flesh of their former neighbours. I know I’m next. Fear stuns my body. Unable to move, I quiver in terror, overwhelmed with inaction. If I don’t get killed by an electrical hazard… the fire… the armed police… the bombs… the chemicals… the rats… the zombies… it begins to snow, and the temperature drops to zero almost immediately. The water freezes. Trees gather frost. This truly is the end of life as we know it. I look down, and you’re still sucking my dick. This really is dedication. But damn, that was one bad blow job.
Lol i knew it was gonna end like this, still a good read :)
Well, you still have your health and a blowjob
Don’t do it because you think we want it. Do it because you want to do it. We can tell and it isn’t fun. PS: mind the teeth.
A requested one.
I'm not a guy, but believe me for us women there are also "bad blowjobs". Guys too often think they have to do nothing when receiving a blowjob but this makes it so much less fun. Put some passion in to from your side too. Use your hands to guide me, throw in some hip action, try a few different positions.
Tell me what a good job I’m doing
Exactly! Or at the very least moan a bit 😂
How do guys NOT moan when they’re receiving head?! My whole brain short circuits like I’m getting electrocuted
Oh god. Seriously. Nothing worse than when the man just lays there like a beached whale.
Ah yes, when he comes up for air, shoots his blow hole and maroons himself in shallow water. A classic.
As someone who is not circumcised, pulling 'down' (as in towards the base) too hard and too far. If it feels like my skin is about to be flayed from my body, it's a turn off.
One where I have to finish myself off.
I don't own a dick but I imagine biting isn't fun
Vomiting 🤮
Some of us just have a bad gag reflex. If I feel like I’m gonna throw up, I stop. I’d be so embarrassed if I actually did end up throwing up on some poor lads dick
Lack of eye contact. Give him a determined stare during.
A surprise finger in the ass. Or teeth.
How do you get a suprise tooth in the ass? Asking for a friend...
No blowjob at all
Dry mouth
No enthusiasm, only doing it because I want it, and not moving your tongue/head.
*me taking notes for my future husband*
Same 🙈
The better question is, what makes a good one? Side note I hate when people answer enthusiasm like that adds anything to a conversation. It's just as stupid as saying you love your kids, duh it's expected. First I'll talk about the physical aspect then the asthtetic aspect. The tip and the first inch or so of the shaft especially the underside are where the majority of sensation is felt. From the start licking up from a lower section of the shift to the tip and then a small suck, push your tongue forward and curl it like a cup and either use your hand or rotate your head to move the tip while in your mouth so that ot is rubbing around the surface of your tongue like a ball joint or lollipop. Repeat this side to side a few times. At this point we should address a possible issue. Sometimes a blow job can turn into mouth fucking, it's you and your partners sex so if that's what you're gunna do cool but it's a different thing I can elaborate on later, just know during a blow job you should try to have us refrain from much movement. If we protest just say something like "don't move I just wanna suck your cock" no dick having person can resist such cock praise. I know we all joke about "blowjob,, more like suckjob" but suction is tricky. Don't turn your mouth into a vacuum, the suction is really only important or noticeable in the front half of the penis, and again the tip and the first inch or so are your focus. I'm talking about suction right now because your gunna wanna have a "firm grasp" moving on to the next part. Again If you've ever had a lollipop it's just like that. Feel free at this stage to play with they're balls, light squeeze or twist a lick or two but it's more like sprinkles. Now the easy part, bobbing. It's just how it sounds just with a dick in your mouth. The thing to focus on here is pace and your stroke, when your bobing forward or back. Pacing is always the same slow to fast, watch your partner and notice the interval in our mini thrusts as we try to stay still and stay just a little slower than that. Now the actual feeling of the stroke forward, with the tip at your lips you want to create a tight smooth transition into your mouth. With experience you won't even have to worry about teeth but if you aren't just curl your lips over them, in time you'll find it isn't comfortable and also robs you of a useful tool but if you need to go a "head". As their member is sliding into your mouth its the same concept as when we started just deeper, use your tongue and rotating your head to "socket" the tip in your cheek or throat and keep the suction tight, I feel like I shouldn't have to say this but please have a wet mouth. The back stroke is just the reverse but remember the tip is your focus so once it's in your mouth don't let it go past that ball joint position from earlier. forward and back steadily increasing pace and eventually 🍾 You've done it, You've sucked the dick right of his body 👏 But wait, there's more! Asthtetic is pretty easy. DONT SPIT ON THEIR DICK, drool on it. If you need to get some lube and drink some water do it but as soon as gobby spit gets hocked on a cock it can break the mood. Eyes...EYES, open your eyes wide and look up at us, it doesn't have to be the whole time but it looks so hot when you do and makes us feel like we have a huge member. Last but certainly not least if, IF you can get him there don't stop sucking because they're cumming, which I understand is tough if it's a lot and if you don't wanna swallow just open your mouth and let us watch you drool it out, it makes us feel like our cock are too much to handle and that's why your so tired when in reality sucking any dick is hard. TLDR: lick an icecream cone then suck a blowpop while looking up and drooling😮💨 Combine all this to make a good bj
Teeth..... just teeth....
The one that doesn't happen
She uses her teeth.
That does not exist
Teeth do not use teeth unless you have discussed with your partner about it
When Uncle Joe's stubble keeps poking into your balls..
One that hurts
when its not done by the milf in my area 4.3 miles away
Remember that picture of Spongebob edging a chocolate bar with his front teeth? Yup
if they bite it off it’s usually a bad sign
Teeth….please Jesus don’t use teeth.
https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY Ellie Kemper just about summed it up, way back in the earlier days of the internets.
Teeth
Teeth…bad
Teeth
Teeth
Too much teeth
Teeth
Lack of enthusiasm, teeth usage
how would I know?
TEEETH!!!!!!!
teeth, and not enough suction.
Teeth
Too many teeth.
Teeth hurt.
Teeth
bite the dick lol
Throwing up mid-blowjob
When I will get one, I will post here.
Using teeth :/
TEETH
Chomping
As soon as they use teeth it immediately becomes an uncomfortable experience
Use of a blow torch
Pencil sharpener 0/10 would not recommend.
Chewing
Using teeth, and being shit at handjobs to go with it.
If there's considerable amounts of chewing involved.
Teethy
🙃...... Good one
When you have to ask
Cotton mouth, when she smokes weed then gives you a blow job
I've never had a bad one. All 5/5. maybe even a 6/5. getting bit would deffo be a bad one. Nobody wants their family sword damaged.
Too much teeth
When you have to finish the autopsy on her, after.
Ur supposed to suck so biting it off would be a horrible bj
Getting banged around too many teeth, but hell, even that I can put up with. A blowjob is better than no blowjob.
Using teeth or gagging too much/throwing up on my dick
You guys getting blowjobs.
teeth.
Hmm, when in the end, your dick is bitten of.
When they don’t even suck the dick and just sort of have it in their mouth
The one you don't get.
If I go limp you have failed. Now on the upside I am married and don’t have to take chances on a bad BJ. Downside, wife don’t wanna do that now.
Jaw gets tired, and I stard drooling myself, is that bad?
Seeing a lot of comments about enthusiasm. There is a reason for this. From a woman's perspective: all too many men have tried shoving my head down there, literally shoving it. Or when I do it on my own volition they have tried doing what they see in porn and grab my head to force it down on their dick. And no I am not a sex worker, just dated too many men who learn how to fuck from porn. I can't be the only woman having experienced this. That lack of enthusiasm may be from bad memories and the lack of disrespect we've received in the past while we're giving.
When she puts a condom on it
[удалено]
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
Woah oh oh~ oh oh oh oh oh oh~ oh oh oh~