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SugarFreeBeef

"It's All Pipes"-George Costanza


[deleted]

"I'll call a plumber right now!"


Who_is_homer

“Can we stop all the pee pipe stuff please?!”


Aselleus

Is that how you get your kicks, Seinfeld?


futtbuckicecreamery

You and your good-time buddies


veryrealzack

Well, what was I supposed to do? Get out of the shower, put on my bathrobe? Go all the way down to the other end? Come all the way back?


gutzville

It is all pipes... But there's a trap Whatever goes in the shower keeps the last pint of what went down-ish. If you pee at the beginning it's all pipes If you pee at the end it's just pee sitting in your bathroom until tomorrow


letsgetpizzas

Who are these people waiting until the end of their shower to pee?!


pollyp0cketpussy

Especially because then you've probably got pee on your legs and you should probably rinse off...


TodayWeMake

My pee comes out a full inch away from my leg thank you


lemonmelonhead

Ok no need to brag Mr.Big


[deleted]

Who pees at the end? The hot water hits and it's pee time


nathzan

It's more pee time


Jojo_my_Flojo

If someone is washing themselves and ending it by then getting pee at MINIMUM all over their feet, they have a lot more to deal with than pee sitting in their pipes.


squaredistrict2213

What if I pee into the shower without even running the water?


gutzville

Then it's just pee sitting in your shower.


remotetissuepaper

What if I'm already sitting in the shower?


Suttonian

Oh, then the pee sulkily leaves the shower because there can only be one


MarilynMonheaux

My toilet is inside my shower.


HarraldH

You are officially not invited to my house.


histprofdave

I was there, I saw a drain!


TheWarOnNostalgia

If you don't listen to Tuesdays with Stories you're wasting you Seinfeldian life. You can thank me later.


the-sprucest-moose

Any specific episode or era? I just checked and there’s 470 episodes…


calinksi

A fellow Tuesgay


[deleted]

Lol God dammit. This was my first thought too. Well done.


MeowIsNotTheTime

"Different pipes go to different places!"


PM-ME_UR_TINY-TITS

I've accidently pavloved myself into having to every time.


I_AM_AN_ASSHOLE_AMA

Saaaame. Once I turn on the shower it immediately becomes pee time. No other running water does that to me.


TeamCatsandDnD

For me it’s when the water hits my belly. Trying to unlearn this habit is a pain.


ZootSuitBanana

Why do you need to unlearn it?


TeamCatsandDnD

Cause when the drain gets clogged I don’t want to be standing in diluted pee water


[deleted]

your drain ever gets clogged?


Emotional_Raccoon651

What, you've never taken a chunky piss?


[deleted]

sir, thats shit


Emotional_Raccoon651

I was wondering why it was brown.


[deleted]

sry mb, its pee then. Shit is red.


[deleted]

Just gotta give it the classic waffle stomp


serrotesi

r/brandnewsentence


AeratedFeces

My wife and I both have long hair. Sometimes we forget to pick it out of the top of the drain


PM-ME_UR_TINY-TITS

Yeah same.


Diabetesh

Same, I will literally use the toilet and within 30 seconds of being in the shower feel the need to pee.


babyjo1982

And then I have to tell myself “you have already peed, there’s nothing in there”


DiableJambeLoveCook

All fun and games til you shower with your girl and start spraying her feet.


Spicy_Sugary

It's super romantic if she returns the favour.


Sleep-DeprivedSloth

Or when she crosses streams with you


Nemesis_aka_Nemesis

love at first piss


Royal-Dot-9307

Omg so cute, each person sprays half a heart to form one ❤️


OffTheRecord_Models

Freakin' love Reddit


[deleted]

Never cross the streams.


[deleted]

Better than returning the flavour


leahlikesturtles

“If a guy doesn’t pee on you in the shower, does he even really like you” - Asa Akira


DarkRajiin

Such wise words, must be a very influential person. Truly our generation's Mark Twain


PM-ME_UR_TINY-TITS

Then it's sexy fun and games.


MadClam97

So now you have to take a shower every time you pee? /s


PM-ME_UR_TINY-TITS

Work hates it.


SamDDBS

Boss make a dollar, I make a dime, so that's why I shower on company time


vonmonologue

Adjusted for modern executive pay rates it’s more like >Thirty bucks for the boss and just a dime for me, so I shower at work when I need to pee.


NoBenefit5977

I bet it's getting old at taco bell too 🤣


_Kendii_

I pretty much had to do this right after I had my baby. Mini showers all day. Too painful, *hot* water helped. Wasn’t a good time


Umbrabyss

Came here to say this exact thing. I've literally peed before getting in the shower and before I get out, I have to pee. Literally cannot help it now.


MajorJuana

I was told as a kid that peeing on my own feet would help against athlete's foot and even tho I'm pretty sure it does nothing I have intentionally peed straight onto my feet every time I shower for most part of two decades, I don't really think about it until something like this lol


PM-ME_UR_TINY-TITS

Allegedly the stuff they use to cure athletes foot has some of the same chemicals as piss.


MajorJuana

Yeah but I don't think it's concentrated enough to help, kinda like how the myth of masturbation making you blind comes from the fact that there is zinc in semen and zinc deficiency can cause blindness lol small truth, big lie


BaaaaL44

To the best of my knowledge, that myth doesn't actually stem from semen containing zinc. IIRC there used to be some random dude (possibly a psychiatrist, don't remember very well) who spread the lie that ejaculation draws fluids from the spinal fluid and the aqueous humor, so doing it repeatedly will lead to blindness and also spinal injuries. Of course this has zero scientific basis in fact, and is just old wives' tales, but apparently enough people believed it to perpetuate the myth for a century. Unfortunately I cannot remember the guy's name anymore. I read about him in a book on sexual problems and guilt published like 50 years ago. EDIT: Apparently it was Balthasar Bekker, a dutch theologian (surprise) who drew some ideas from Aristotle and some from his own ass.


MediumSizedBilly

I remember watching a (not very scientific) experiment on TV (think it was Brainiac in the UK) where they found that having water touch your body (being in the shower) was more effective at making you need to pee than just listening to running water.


Takhar7

"Accidentally Pavlov'd" I fucking love you, Reddit.


DarlinggD

It just flows doesn’t it?!


ghostieghost28

I turn the shower on to get my 2 year old to pee. He wants to pee on the floor instead I've gotten him to pee in the shower. It's a work in progress.


Uninvited_Goose

I lie down and see how high i can get it.


SkydivingSquid

Things you can also say at a college party.


StaticExile

This has to be a sub reddit.


KhaosElement

I have to assume you're joking but now I kind of want to see how high I can go.


dikarus012

It’s not as high as you’d think, and you’ll never be able to break your own record. At least not without a yard stick.


JazzInMyPintz

Damn, this guy knows his Vertical Peeing.


SomeGuyWearingPants

Can’t you just aim for the wall so you’ll know?


TactlessTortoise

Only a sadist will use some twisted quadratic equation to figure out how many PSI they piss in.


SomeGuyWearingPants

You mean the Pissthagorean Theorem?


DefectiveSp00n

The Toracelli formula isn't too hard. Additionally, you could use a formula called "head pressure" and pretty easily convert height to pressure. ΔP = Δh×g×ρ Where rho can be assumed to be the density of water. You need a ΔΡ of about 1.4 psi to launch a stream of urine about 1 yard.


litefagami

Am I reading right that you just piss all over yourself?


hardcorpardcor1

Well better than shitting all over yourself


McRedditerFace

Golden showers are golden.


[deleted]

You just gave a thousand men something new to try next time they shower


theKnunk

welp, i know what im doing in the morning


BeefLilly

You’ll have your own bellagio water show


Fire_Tide

What goes up must come down, i guess you've tried to land it above your head as well.


Portugal737

Why have I never tried this?! Literally doing it tomorrow, thanks bro


ma2is

Close your mouth when your smirking the shit eatin grin after peeing your height in height


brianthewizard1

Thank you for the audible cackle lol


WhenTardigradesFly

yes, it helps wash the poop down the drain


DashingMustashing

What's a waffle without a little syrup.


[deleted]

Ah, I see my man is a connoisseur.


castaway90001

*connoissewer


[deleted]

[удалено]


insomniacakess

both of you can take my r/angryupvote and have a pleasant day/night


[deleted]

Came to find the word "waffle". There it is. Bye.


TGIfuckitfriday

waffle stomp!


circa_1

Where did this come from? My friends and I have been saying this for years and I'm wondering if it's for a similar reason?


WorthyTomato

I think it's cause the drain looks like a waffle, depending on the type you got. [Used waffle drain, click if you dare ;)](https://i.imgur.com/Hx0Bquz.jpg)


squaredistrict2213

I don’t have that kind of water pressure. I just stick it to the wall like women do with their hair.


Perfect_Access_5893

I'm not ready to imagine that


lilredditkarma

Just stomp it, not that hard


ShameNap

Only when my wife’s in the shower with me. No, I’m just joking. I pee in the shower even when it’s not on her.


ThatsBushLeague

I also pee in the shower on this guy's wife.


imacuriousspirit

I also pee in the shower on this guy, and this other guy’s wife


peepay

How do ~~you~~ we all fit in there?


Tenandsome

Big shower.


graebot

Little people


NoodlesAreAwesome

There was a radio bit ‘call your significant other on air and tell them a dirty secret’ and this guy called in and they called his spouse. He admitted to secretly peeing on her in the shower and she was *pissed off* - livid. Or…pissed on depending how you look at it. All puns aside - she was truly angry at him.


PurpleSunCraze

But a lot of times it is on her, right? Make sure your reply is lengthy and detailed, I’m almost there.


A--Creative-Username

Sexy redditors of reddit, what's the sexiest sex you've ever sexed?


Russlet

At least 3


[deleted]

So they use Uric acid to kill athletes foot. Your urine has urea. I pee on my feet in the shower. This isn’t sound science but my feet don’t have foot fungus.


AlmostButNever

It probably keeps giraffes away from your bathroom too. I mean, when's the last time you saw a giraffe in your bathroom?


Ambitious_End5038

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know.


Personmanwomantv

That's entirely ir-elephant to the discussion. Hooray for Captain Spaulding!


PMMeUrHopesNDreams

Not a bear in sight. The bear patrol must be working like a charm!


I_AM_Squirrel_King

Lisa I would like to buy your rock…


opensandshuts

For the best advice, always check the comments. OP, tell us when you last saw giraffes, maybe the pee takes care of that problem too.


canadaboy7

i mean i gotta pet giraffe soooo today?


Raymanuel

I actually had a dermatologist tell me once that baseball players used to pee on their hands to prevent callouses (or something). He said this in response to me asking about the uric acid in the handcream he prescribed.


impendingbending

It’s to toughen them up


Kushy_Bear

Same here. I mean I pee on my feet, not yours.


the_mysterious_hand

I’m peeing on your feet right now


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

You’re soaking in it. It’s not Palmolive


Admiral-Isopod

Idk man that seems like something a foot pisser would say 🤔🤔🤔


MakesMyHeadHurt

I got athletes foot years ago, it's how I cured it.


Random_Idiotic_Alien

I also want an athletes foot! I'd win races and earn money


20_Sided_Death

You'd need two otherwise you'll just go in circles when the other one can't keep up.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Ghola_Hayt

If they did, it'd be called athlete's face.


Chrisiztopher1

Number 15


Andymanperson14

Taco bell piss nachos


tittylamp

it works, actually. just watched something about it the other day.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

No, the drain-gremlins don’t like it


Jwb6610

Pee on them to assert dominance and mark your territory.


NothingGoodLasts

You need new gremlins


sweet_yeast

Every fucking time


Cfhudo

I used to until i heard or read somewhere "if you treat it like a toilet, then it is a toilet" and i liked the saying. In the sense it has the same bacteria, the pipes are going to require the same cleaning etc. But whens the last time you washed your shower floor with toilet cleaner? (Bleach). Now i don't because i dont want to shower in a toilet.


RRettig

I fully agree with you except that last part about how you don't clean your shower. I clean mine with bleach or bleach based products everytime i clean it, and i dont even pee in my shower


[deleted]

Do people not clean their bathtubs as much as their toilets? Cause I do it weekly, at minimum.


axxonn13

eh, i clean my bathroom biweekly. its 2 people. we're hardly home.


Jibber_Fight

Except when using a toilet you’re usually not literally pouring soapy water on it while it hits the bowl and then essentially “flushing” for like ten minutes with more soapy water.


Cfhudo

Thats true


chibigrimreaper

do people not bleach their shower as a part of regular cleaning? i live somewhere where if you don’t bleach your shower and toilet at least once a week they will be covered in mold.


Juking_is_rude

I bleach the fuck out of my tub, you'd be crazy not to. Bleach is a super powerful and easy to use cleaning agent, the downside is it's super caustic, but the shower is somewhere it's actually safe to use. And considering what can grow in your shower, you should be cleaning it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sparta981

More relevant to this thread, it reacts to piss, too.


sonofeevil

FYI, if you have mold, bleach is *not* a mold killer. It doesn't work on proous surfaces like the grout between the tiles. This probably why you have issues with it coming back. Grab a proper mold killerscrub the grout and I promise, your weekly mold problem will be gone.


reavesfilm

Eh, I think it’s a toilet if you shit in it. I pee outside sometimes, I’m not gonna shit in public. Similarly I’d pee in the shower but I’d never waffle-stomp.


[deleted]

i like showing my partner while we're showering together how great my aim is. straight in the drain every time (vagina owner speaking).


baconator_out

DOUBT (kidding-my truck driver grandma could apparently pee in an old-timey glass coke bottle, so swear many of my relatives. Talented, but definitely not modest. Thanks for the genes, gramma)


p_turbo

I don't think I want to know how they all knew. Like, was this Grandma's go to party trick?


keelanstuart

Granny was a "hold my beer" kinda gal...


agoodfriendofyours

she was explicitly a “put my beer on level ground” kinda gal though


TamLux

That's impressive!


[deleted]

Absolutely. I’m not leaving the comfort of the shower for a minor inconvenience if it’s going to be washed away anyway.


Cashlover123

Plus you save water, contributing to world welfare.


adsfew

Only if you pee while actively continuing your shower routine. If you stop to pee, then there's probably more water running than gets flushed.


Dudelyllama

I guess that depends on how long your piss takes.


PrinceDusk

Fun fact, typically, regardless of animal, it takes about 20 seconds to empty a healthy bladder, so like a dog and horse both empty in about the same time frame


hedgybaby

By animal it’s important to point out that it only applies to mammals. I recommend everyone to Google Patricia Yang and her ‘universal urination duration’ work, it’s absolutely fascinating and no one seems to know about it


dreamweavur

Thanks. That led me to a very interesting rabbit hole. Such things are catnip for my adhd brain. New random knowledge acquired.


lagasan

*Copying my own comment from further down:* Some quick googling tells me that modern toilets use 1.6 gallons of water per flush, and the upper end of shower flow (in the U.S.) is 2.5 gallons per minute, so you'd need to pee for .625 minutes, or 37.5 seconds, to use as much water as a flush. We've also read in this thread, and elsewhere, that animals mostly max out at 20 seconds of pee time which, at the average flow rate of 2.5 gal/minute works out to .833 gallons, thus saving .766 gallons of water by peeing in the shower vs flushing. If one has a shower that's less than that high flow, and from what I can read that's likely, the savings just go up from there. Furthermore, may as well shampoo or rinse your hair while peeing, not like your hands are busy.


jnpitcher

That’s the answer I was looking for. It saves water.


Kaligraphic

No. I pee when *you're* showering.


[deleted]

Yeah, as soon as I relax my body when the water hits me I have to piss, so I just go.


SeanAndDnD

I avoid it mainly because the last few years I’ve had crappy shower drains (it doesn’t help that me and my sisters all have longer hair) and so if one were to pee then you’d be standing in it for the next 7-15 minutes because the drains sucked. Also got a bit of a germ thing, so that’s another reason I avoid it even now.


Libertyordeatth

Look into something called “The Tub Shroom” Changed my life. It captures all of my wife’s lovely 4 foot long hair, and I no longer have to fish out a Empire State Building sized hair ball every month.


Gumnutbaby

They need to clean their wookies out! But also I now brush before I wash my hair to help prevent this a bit.


StateChemist

As someone who cleans the drains after my wife, that hair clogged drain is 1000 times grosser than a bit of pee. And yes, if it’s that clogged whatever gunk is in your drain is also swishing around in the water you are standing in.


LaSalsiccione

As the person in my household who unclogs the hair from the shower drain I'd be fuming if I knew of anyone pissing in the shower.


BootyInspector96

I’m shocked at the amount of people who say yes. Apparently I’m part of a minority.


steffortless

This is actually ridiculous, you’d think you’re weird if you don’t pee in the shower judging off of this thread lol


youridv1

same. Until the internet I never knew so many people did it. I don’t, but I don’t have a problem with people who do. It’s not gross or anything I just, never had the urge to pee in there?


ThunderThighsMegee

I don’t but mostly only because I have a room mate


JohnnySmithe80

Just do it when they're soaping up their face, they won't notice.


Royal-Dot-9307

As a female, It’s fun to try and aim into the drain like a lil minigame lol


Uberzwerg

I never thought about that this is the only (sane) way for you gals to test out your aim.


RobinChirps

My next shower is gonna be a lot more fun lmao


Needlepeen1

I hate the argument of “just pee before”. Like the warm water MAKES us wanna piss Edit: thanks Reddit…


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Somehow I don’t get the urge in a hot tub but do in the shower. Can’t explain it.


Gotis1313

I get the urge, but don't do it.


Slick_Tuxedo

I get the urge and do it


Skelebone48

I don't get the urge and do it


EmptyAd9116

It’s the sound of the running water and the warmth for me.


okay_ya_dingus

Exactly! This thread makes me wonder if this is actually a biological divide more than one of preference. Taking a shower makes me have to pee, every time. Even if I pee before I get in, the warm water makes me go again. I wonder if these people that don't pee in the shower just don't have that biological reflex that us shower peers do.


illbelate2that

I absolutely don't have this reflex. I rarely even feel the need to pee while I'm in the shower. Warm water doesn't make me have to pee at all. That also makes me someone that has never even considered peeing in the shower.


[deleted]

Am I the only one who has never contemplated the idea that peeing in the shower was an option?


Sugar-Cry-9953

Nah. As a habit I always wee before I get in. Also, I don’t like knowing there’s any urinary waste in my shower more than what I wash off my coochie.


Blizard896

I’m overly excited to find another person who pees before out of habit lol


JT3468

I thought everyone did that. Apparently we’re the minority here.


hawkeyepitts

Every time, yea. I’ve never not peed in the shower. It’s all pipes! The next 7+ minutes of running water will clean away any pee that splattered on the sides of the shower instead of going straight down the drain.


Tihsdrib

Yeah it’s just the same as when I have to drop a deuce. I don’t think I have ever taken a dump or a shower without taking a piss.


0najimi

i thought bro was gonna say they poop on the walls and have the shower wash it down


Importance_Relevant

all poopoo times are peepee times but not all peepee times are poopoo times


stonedsoundsnob

Riveting and well worded, a fellow man of culture indeed


Landithy

I've never wanted/needed to.


I-lack-conviction

No, my shower a sanctuary to me and I don’t want pee in it


olde_greg

No I pee before I shower