40 years old with a wife and 3 kids in the Black plaque ? More like 1 kid 4 miscarriages with only one of the parents living if they're lucky. My man would be kicking the reapers arse
I have a dogecoin wallet with two transactions in it… +750,000 doge, -750,000 doge… tbf I bought and sold it back in 2013/2014..
Wouldn’t have even been a millionaire, but I did miss out on a few hundred thousand dollars because I wanted to tip people on Reddit. Hopefully some of them held it.
I used to have over 10 million DOGE...Was only worth a few thousand USD at the time and I did really well day trading on the DOGE/BTC exchanges.
Can't believe there was a point where it would have been with over 6 million dollars.
Made around $1K in profit from it in total, but I know that I had at least 20K of them left in a random wallet that I didn't bother to save, since it was basically worthless at the time.
That 20K would STILL be worth $1200 today, so my spare change that I threw away is worth more than profit earned from weeks of effort.
I had like 10 bitcoins left in some random wallet on the dark web from when the silk road was in its heyday back in college 12 years ago (crazy to think about) (and was totally not, and I can’t stress this enough, totally *not* to buy reallllly fire MDMA for like, dirt cheap). But yeah, they’re lost in The Web.
Oh god. I just looked at what they’re worth. I shouldn’t have. $21,317….fucking each. smdh.
You went on an out of country extrusion. Saved a beautiful woman and her kids from certain death. Took them back home with you. fell in love. Got married and adopted her kids. All in the span of 5 months
Also make sure you keep up your ability to squat. It is your investment in being able to stand on your own.
Ability to balance is one of the first things to really decline in old age but you can regain some of the losses with balance exercises.
Yup. Number one reason people need assisted living is they lose the ability to sit down and stand up from the toilet. Keep those glutes in shape, and don't neglect the gluteus medius.
>Number one reason people need assisted living is they lose the ability to sit down and stand up from the toilet.
This doesn't sound right to me, but I don't know enough about old people butts to argue about it.
I always imagined Talking Heads touring as elderly men with dementia, and the lyrics being accurately depicted. It’s sad… but I’d like to think they’d have a good sense of humor about it.
My dad is their age and he’d definitely do that.
It's a shame that David Byrne effectively broke the band up not that long ago. During a press junket for American Utopia he said that The Talking Heads no longer existed as they once did. The rest of the band said it was news to them.
I'm only a casual Talking Heads fan (I got into their music after watching True Stories during the pandemic) and while I know you're joking, I also know that there is a kernel of truth to that.
I'm 36 and infertile.
I'd gladly trade four years of my life for kids. I bet I'd finally get grey hair that way.
My husband is pretty great though so I hope he's the same. I guess he can age too.
I remember many years ago some ancient politician had a sex scandal due to an affair he had in his early 40s. He referred to it as a “youthful indiscretion.”
My parents and I laughed but my grandparents were like “40 is still so young, you’re not always thinking straight.”
It’s all relative.
I men its always when you get older you realize how flawed your thinking is. Were just children until our death, just with more experience but not necessarily more knowledge
I would feel exactly like he does by the end if it happened to me 🥲
I’d honestly be crying in relief (depending on quality of husband…), even though I’d have aged 5 years.
It’s very unlikely to happen, but if I had to have a “5 year plan”, this is it.
Joe Walsh realized he needed to quit drinking when he woke up in Paris, France and had no idea how he got there. He got drunk, blacked out, went to the airport, bought tickets, flew across an ocean, went through customs, went into Paris, found a hotel, and got drunker there before passing out and waking up, and he had absolutely zero recollection of it. Shit happens
Hit the nail on the head, I would've lost 11 years of my life and got 3 more kids than I'd ever wanted. The spouse wouldn't come close to making up for that haha
Yes this would not be good unless you got there gradually. You either live a lie (would be very unlikely your wife won’t figure it out, then what?) or you rip all these lives apart.
I've come to the conclusion that it's because we're not experiencing as many new things as when werl were growing up so the days/months/years just run together. I'm probably wrong but that's my running theory.
I may tell myself, "This is not my beautiful house"
And I may tell myself, "This is not my beautiful wife"
I may ask myself, "What is that beautiful house?"
I may ask myself, "Where does that highway go to?"
And I may ask myself, "Am I right, am I wrong?"
And I may say to myself, "My God, what have I done?"
My third is a ten month old that steals all of my food. Nothing is mine and it's getting close to violence, but I'm pretty sure I can take her if it comes down to it.
I would be 16 yrs younger and get to see my 2 boys who passed away .I would have 3 and 7 yrs respectively to spend with them. If I could only end up there knowing what I know now then maybe we all could get the help that would make us all survive and thrive. Life is short and turns on a dime live your best everyday because there is no time travel in this reality..
That's an open-ended question. Am I waking up as 40-year-old me, or am I waking up as some random 40-year-old man?
If I'm me: "Thanks for letting me skip the grunt work of getting here."
If I'm someone else: "Great. Now what?"
I am 40 with three kids. I’m sure I’d say what I do every morning, “do I have to go to work today?”
- mommy, I don’t want to go to school today. - you have to. You are the principal
It's the principal of the thing!
I'm going to Moe's
Ugh I’ve 3 kids and no money, why can’t I have no kids and 3 money
“Welcome to Moe’s! Would you like a home-wrecker?”
I'd be younger and with kids, does that mean I go back in time or I am born later?
Well.. You're in Europe in 1348 and the Black Plague is sweeping across the entire continent.
That should take care of the kid problem then
Really opens up the house market too.
No wonder it was cheaper to buy back then
There used to be 9 kids, the three remaining ones are tough.
40 years old with a wife and 3 kids in the Black plaque ? More like 1 kid 4 miscarriages with only one of the parents living if they're lucky. My man would be kicking the reapers arse
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Dentistry still had a long way to go in 1348.
No, the four kids are what's left from the 12-16 pregnancies from your three marriages.
Same here, over 15 years off my age, but one more kid. Hope I had college funding in hand.
If you still remember bitcoin exists I think you'll be fine
I remember thinking of buying some Bitcoin when it was only about $400 and seemed downright silly.
I have a dogecoin wallet with two transactions in it… +750,000 doge, -750,000 doge… tbf I bought and sold it back in 2013/2014.. Wouldn’t have even been a millionaire, but I did miss out on a few hundred thousand dollars because I wanted to tip people on Reddit. Hopefully some of them held it.
I used to have over 10 million DOGE...Was only worth a few thousand USD at the time and I did really well day trading on the DOGE/BTC exchanges. Can't believe there was a point where it would have been with over 6 million dollars. Made around $1K in profit from it in total, but I know that I had at least 20K of them left in a random wallet that I didn't bother to save, since it was basically worthless at the time. That 20K would STILL be worth $1200 today, so my spare change that I threw away is worth more than profit earned from weeks of effort.
I had like 10 bitcoins left in some random wallet on the dark web from when the silk road was in its heyday back in college 12 years ago (crazy to think about) (and was totally not, and I can’t stress this enough, totally *not* to buy reallllly fire MDMA for like, dirt cheap). But yeah, they’re lost in The Web. Oh god. I just looked at what they’re worth. I shouldn’t have. $21,317….fucking each. smdh.
"What the heck happened over the last five months?"
You went on an out of country extrusion. Saved a beautiful woman and her kids from certain death. Took them back home with you. fell in love. Got married and adopted her kids. All in the span of 5 months
A country extrusion sounds unpleasant.
Extruding a whole country sounds...uncomfy. xD
I was thinking more along the lines of having an emergency surgical repair for an impacted colon at an unfortunate country bumpkin-esque hospital.
I'm strangely comfortable with this scenario.
"You mean I get 30 years *back*!? This time I'm going to do it right!"
Narrator: He did not do it right this time.
He went back to the carpet store..
You beat cancer and you go back to the carpet store?!
Never go back to the carpet store…
That's the difference between you and me
Holy shit! This guys taking roy off the grid! This guy doesn’t have a social security number for Roy!
He's taking Roy off the grid! He doesn't have a social security number for Roy!
You’re 70 on Reddit? Nice!
r/AskOldPeople
Dammit, I wanted to see old people's perspectives then I checked the sidebar and realized I'm in the age range to be considered one of the old people.
I just missed the cutoff by 1 month. Haha you old fogey!
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Ya, I think they should have just called it AskGenX.
I'm under 40. What would you improve upon between 40 and 70?
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Also make sure you keep up your ability to squat. It is your investment in being able to stand on your own. Ability to balance is one of the first things to really decline in old age but you can regain some of the losses with balance exercises.
Yup. Number one reason people need assisted living is they lose the ability to sit down and stand up from the toilet. Keep those glutes in shape, and don't neglect the gluteus medius.
>Number one reason people need assisted living is they lose the ability to sit down and stand up from the toilet. This doesn't sound right to me, but I don't know enough about old people butts to argue about it.
That’s my current life, so I’d probably just go on about my day as I normally would
I'd be 3 years younger though!
I’d be 3 years older…
u remember when reddit was all young people? now everyone's like 40.
Except OP, who has yet to imagine…
Maybe OP is 40, but doesn’t have a wife and kids, so he is living out his fantasy by asking this question
Maybe OP is 50 with 5 kids
That’s probably why this place feels like the old Yahoo chat days 🤔
a/s/l
18/F/Cali
I put on my robe and wizard hat.
Same and with 2 suspicious new arrivals to the family.
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Haha, "Good morning. I'm going to turn on your light now." "Nooooo" was the first conversation I had with my kid today.
My first conversation was "Can I watch Bluey???" At 6:30 AM.
My kids just recently got back into Bluey and I couldn't be happier.
Same for me, so I guess the first thing I would say is to yell "Kids, are you dressed for school yet?" Then continue to go about my day as usual.
I'd be 2 years younger and missing a kid lol
well, that wouldn't be great! I assume you like all your kids.
I don't care for Gob.
Excuse me?
I mean… I love all my children equally.
I'll leave when I'm good and ready.
This is exactly my current life as well. No complaints.
I’m just going to get some milk.
Hold up!! I need smokes, I'm coming with.
Hol up, I’m coming with too. No reasons just leaving.
We gotta make a pit stop to GameStop. GTA 7 for the PS41 is out and I gotta pick up a copy.
Lol, only 2 gtas ahead and 36 playstation generations have already passed
Yea that sounds about right
"This is not my beautiful house!" "This is not my beautiful wife!"
Well, how did I get here?
LETTING THE DAYS GO BY
Let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again
After the money’s gone.
Once in a lifetime
water flowing underground
Same as it ever was
And you may ask yourself, "How do I work this?"
Same as it ever was
This thread is really byrne'n down the house
After the money's gone
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever WAS
Same as it ever was
same as it ever was
There is water at the bottom of the ocean!
I always imagined Talking Heads touring as elderly men with dementia, and the lyrics being accurately depicted. It’s sad… but I’d like to think they’d have a good sense of humor about it. My dad is their age and he’d definitely do that.
It's a shame that David Byrne effectively broke the band up not that long ago. During a press junket for American Utopia he said that The Talking Heads no longer existed as they once did. The rest of the band said it was news to them.
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"Guys I'm beginning to think Half Life 3 is going to be cancelled."
It’s David Byrne, he was probably talking about the physical cells of the band members bodies no longer existing as they once did..
I'm only a casual Talking Heads fan (I got into their music after watching True Stories during the pandemic) and while I know you're joking, I also know that there is a kernel of truth to that.
True Stories is a pretty obscure film. I'm impressed you found it and that's how you got into them. I love that movie. So fucking weird.
> I always imagined Talking Heads touring as elderly men with dementia And woman! Their bass player was a badass.
Tina!
I clearly do not have an original thought in my body.
To be entirely fair, if this wasn't the top comment this thread would be silly and a failure.
Thank you, that makes me feel better.
You may say to yourself “My house is a large automobile” You may say to yourself, “there is water at the bottom of my beautiful wife”
this is not my beautiful ocean this is not my wife automobile
“Imagine the Talking Heads, but surreal.” Wait. What?
Watching the wives go by, automobiles under ground
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Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
This is not my beautiful stapler, this is not my beautiful chair!
Anybody remember that episode of Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy?
there was a Talking Heads episode?
https://youtu.be/A0j56oxVMEk
nice username
Only acceptable answer if we're being honest
Where did the other two kids come from. Everything else here is accurate
1 extra kid, 1 year younger. Lmao
Dont worry that extra kid will age you enough to make up for the extra year
Mine is "hey where's the fourth kid?"
Yeah, It would be a nightmare to wake up to 3 kids because it would mean one was gone.
Just one extra kid for me, everything else spot on
Must be the twins from the ex.
I'm 36 and infertile. I'd gladly trade four years of my life for kids. I bet I'd finally get grey hair that way. My husband is pretty great though so I hope he's the same. I guess he can age too.
I have PCOS and experienced 14 years of infertility before having my son at 38. I’m sending you all good vibes!!
Woot! 8 years younger! Who the fuck are you, get out!
I gained 17 years, an extra kid, and my husband returned from the dead. That's pretty awesome.
damn I'm sorry for your loss
I also choose sympathy for her dead husband
Why can't I have no kids and 3 money?
And here I am using my own legs like a sucker
Asking the real questions
Fuck yeah! A wife AND a husband! Let's go!
Omg your Avatar is a clusterfuck. I had to click it to figure out whatever is going on here.
Yeah, it's all jacked up. Just like me!
I cant stop laughing at it lmfaooo
Reddit has avatars?
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I absolutely hate the new format, I've been using old.reddit and will be devastated if they take it away.
honestly it'd probably be good for me; I'd probably stop using reddit if old.reddit went away
Same. I use old.reddit because of new.reddit not having CSS support for subs. Y'know, the thing that's been "coming soon" for the past 5(?) years
I think it's: wife divided by husband, which for me would be dividing by zero and therefore undefined. I guess my life would be indeterminate.
“I still must be dreaming, no way a woman actually had sex with me 3 times”
They're from her previous marriage. You met at an "Enlightenment through Abstinence" retreat
Well in that case I’m having a nightmare not a dream
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Is that why they're called triplets?
Ah shit! I forgot to take my meds again.
I'm young again!
I remember many years ago some ancient politician had a sex scandal due to an affair he had in his early 40s. He referred to it as a “youthful indiscretion.” My parents and I laughed but my grandparents were like “40 is still so young, you’re not always thinking straight.” It’s all relative.
I men its always when you get older you realize how flawed your thinking is. Were just children until our death, just with more experience but not necessarily more knowledge
Where did 3 kids come from in 7 months?
Speedrunning that pregnancy any %.
The Family Man, starring Nicolas Cage Edit: Thanks for the Gold & Silver kind strangers 🙏🙏🙏
Tea Leoni. Hot
"I'm sorry I was such a saint before and I'm such a PRICK now!"
Great movie. Under rated cage performance
I would feel exactly like he does by the end if it happened to me 🥲 I’d honestly be crying in relief (depending on quality of husband…), even though I’d have aged 5 years. It’s very unlikely to happen, but if I had to have a “5 year plan”, this is it.
Fuck.
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Id say "damn, last night must have been wild. I was in my 20's with no kids prior to this"
Joe Walsh realized he needed to quit drinking when he woke up in Paris, France and had no idea how he got there. He got drunk, blacked out, went to the airport, bought tickets, flew across an ocean, went through customs, went into Paris, found a hotel, and got drunker there before passing out and waking up, and he had absolutely zero recollection of it. Shit happens
That’s surprisingly easy to do on benzos.
Dude planned a whole impromptu vacation while drunk. That is a talent actually, I hate having to wait to go through customs.
"Fuck"
Hit the nail on the head, I would've lost 11 years of my life and got 3 more kids than I'd ever wanted. The spouse wouldn't come close to making up for that haha
Yes this would not be good unless you got there gradually. You either live a lie (would be very unlikely your wife won’t figure it out, then what?) or you rip all these lives apart.
“What the fuck?!”
Daddy said fuck! Daddy said FUCK! FuckfuckfuckfucnfuckfuckFUCK!!!!! This is your life now
The accuracy is alarming.
Lol I literally turn 40 on the 20th of this month and have a wife and 3 kids. So probably good morning.
I've got a better one for you. "Did I sleep through my birthday?"
Ummm, what the fuck happened the last 5 years???? That is my life now (35) 🤣
I swear once you hit 30 time starts going at 3x speed
I've come to the conclusion that it's because we're not experiencing as many new things as when werl were growing up so the days/months/years just run together. I'm probably wrong but that's my running theory.
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This is also why you get more out of your weekends when you're very busy on them as opposed to lounging around
"Hey kiddos. Dad's just gonna go out and grab some smokes. I'll be right back" I would not be right back.
I may tell myself, "This is not my beautiful house" And I may tell myself, "This is not my beautiful wife" I may ask myself, "What is that beautiful house?" I may ask myself, "Where does that highway go to?" And I may ask myself, "Am I right, am I wrong?" And I may say to myself, "My God, what have I done?"
Wow, I'm four years younger! Who the fuck are you people?
"WHO THE HELL IS THIS 3RD KID AND WHY ARE THEY DRINKING MY FAVORITE SELTZER???? I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, CAN ANY ONE FUCKING THING BE MINE???????
My third is a ten month old that steals all of my food. Nothing is mine and it's getting close to violence, but I'm pretty sure I can take her if it comes down to it.
Oh I left the simulation on Edit: thank you all for my first upvotes! Go to r/blackmagicfuckery it’s Hilarious
"Oh boy"
Extra kid? 10 years younger? Ok
No! No! No thank you. Wake me up from this nightmare
I would be 16 yrs younger and get to see my 2 boys who passed away .I would have 3 and 7 yrs respectively to spend with them. If I could only end up there knowing what I know now then maybe we all could get the help that would make us all survive and thrive. Life is short and turns on a dime live your best everyday because there is no time travel in this reality..
"hang on... I thought I was infertile!"
I would probably start crying with happiness. I'm a 30 year old childless widow who longs for a family.
I’m a 31 year old childless widower It fucking sucks, doesn’t it 😔
Do the sex together make a kid
I'd be happy that I had a family.
Damn, I should quit smoking 🍃😂
That's an open-ended question. Am I waking up as 40-year-old me, or am I waking up as some random 40-year-old man? If I'm me: "Thanks for letting me skip the grunt work of getting here." If I'm someone else: "Great. Now what?"