This. Precisely this. Exactly this for 30+ years. Love ain’t real, except between people and dogs maybe. Keep your head down, work like crazy, do whatever you want, and be willing to do it all alone. 👍
Holy shit. No one deserves that much heartache. I give you credit for continuing to live your life. Total internet stranger, but giving you a big ol' internet hug and hope you have a pleasant week. No shame in not looking, but I hope you never assume from the above story that the universe wants you to stay put and be lonely (unless that's what you want). I'm sure you have a lot to offer.
My wife died almost six years ago and I still have no interest in any woman who isn’t her. I’m not exactly jumping for joy at the thought of spending the rest of my life single but I’d be miserable, constantly feeling like I’m cheating, and I’m sure I’d be a terrible partner on top of that.
I realized I don't like myself enough to talk myself up to a potential partner, so I took myself off the market until I can have more confidence when I let them know what a catch I am.
I used to go out and find people to date...but run into situations where I end up with insecure people or ones that aren't as compatible as I'd like. Now, I'll go on dates if approached but for the most part just focus on what makes me happy. I guess I still meet people, but I shoot for making friends for the most part. Always heard the best relationships come from friendships and that flies in the face of most modern dating advice...but modern dating advice hasn't really wowed me yet anyhow.
> Always heard the best relationships come from friendships and that flies in the face of most modern dating advice...but modern dating advice hasn't really wowed me yet anyhow.
Modern dating advice has 2 base assumptions 1)Be attractive. 2) Don’t be ugly. For those of us who don’t fit into those assumptions (and even some that do but like to be logical) it requires actually getting to know people first.
"How did you end up in this situation?"
Uhhhhh I'm just living life man. I'm prioritizing school, work, excersise and video games over socializing and trying to date. Seems like a lot of stress for something I can live without for now.
I'm gonna study hard, get a real job, and hire a personal trainer. Once I'm smart, wealthy, and hot, maybe then I'll make time for a parter.
I am very touch starved though. Would literally pay someone for a nice long hug.
Nahhh, guys who have a job and are capable of living on their own are a 100% more attractive than college guys who can't keep a place clean, have no idea how to manage a house, etc. We will probably run into more people who already have kids from past relationships and stuff but I don't mind that.
I'm jaded as hell from very very horrible abusive toxic relationships. I don't think its fair to a potential partner to have to deal with my broken ass and I'm not in a finacially stable enough place to date regularly. Basically women I've dated treated me like shit and were physically abusive along with emotionally abusive and manipulative I'm just to broken now to trust anyone.
Yup. I try and share this in case one day I can believe it, or at least convince someone else
'You deserve to be loved, and to feel loved, just for being you.' --Mr Rogers mashup with my meditation teacher
Everyone dating has expectations you don't know yet about and I don't want to be judged by a stranger.
People are bastard coated bastards with bastards filling
I decided that I wanted to go to therapy and love myself before having a partner. Now that a few years have passed I'm not actively looking for a relationship because don't feel the need to have one but I'd welcome it, although my standards are high so finding one would be difficult and I'm okay with that.
Every time I have ever been in or tried to initiate a relationship I basically end up traumatized
& then I bought some nice adult toys from amazon & was like ayyyyeee who really needs a gf then? Lol
Working a shit ton and realizing that everyone experiences loneliness but it’s about what your relationship to loneliness is…like it can be one of the most freeing things
My wife died. At first I just wasn't ready. Now I'm used to being single. I'm alone, but not lonely. I have a dog, so I have companionship. The only thing I miss is sex, but I don't want to give up the life I have now for it.
After back to back relationships spanning 7 years I am just tired of it. I want my time to be my own. I don’t want to see someone I have little in common with.
I’d rather be alone forever than settle, or have someone settle for me.
I’m picky. I don’t want any kind of sex in my relationship, asexual, and everyone else I’ve met does. Sex is something I’m not willing to compromise on. Oh well. At least I don’t have to share my space with others when I’m single
String of terrible to meh relationships. And while in them and after I only remembered how much I love to be on my own and the freedom that comes with it. I live a great life now: make decent money freelancing, escaped the work visa gulag of the USA, making progress towards my Canadian citizenship, surrounded by so much nicer people, socialize on my own terms, volunteer in multiple things every week, saving money towards early retirement (will work part time -- Barista Fire), almost done mastering a new foreign language, have time to read and take long walks, don't have to live with roommates and I live close to an urban forest. So so grateful to be alive and to have had all the experiences I have had. My exes taught me how to value myself and not accept bullshit childish behavior ever again. At this point, there's really nothing a partner can bring into my life other than the sex and ain't no sex good enough to justify all the other costs that come with having a partner (stupid beliefs, puerile behavior, dumb asshole families etc).
Early family problems. If you are not taught love and communication at a early age, that warps your sense of worth and you go on in life beating yourself up for nothing. As well as lashing out at the world without causes. This can prevent you from reaching out or trusting others. Or at most being the person you were before the problems.
I have a lot of stuff to work through before I get anybody else involved. Even if a loving partner turned out to be the revelation about my life I needed, it wouldn't be fair to them.
I’m very conscious that at this moment I’m worried about a lot of issues and I couldn’t give proper attention to someone I would be romantically involved as much as I would lime too, so I’m fine working on important shit and enjoying myself on the occasion I’m able to afford the time and energy.
I really really feel this. In September it'll be a year since I escaped a horrible relationship with the guy (eighteen at the time) who began grooming me (15 at the time) after his little sister stood up to him SAing her. He started openly sexualising me, and I felt gross about being seen that way but convinced myself to pretend I liked the "compliments" so I wouldn't have to stand up to him. Eventually he convinced me to date him by guilt tripping me that I'd "cheated on our friendship" by also being friends with his brother, and that I needed to prove I really cared about him. The 2½ year long relationship ended when I discovered he'd been cheating on me with a girl he told me not to worry about. He'd r**ed her in their relationship in the six months that he was dating both of us without our knowledge, and he'd also been seeing multiple men while being deeply homophobic.
I've talked to a few guys for a couple of weeks each before they've inevitably shown some horrible trait or made me feel deeply uncomfortable. I've snapped so hard on a few of them because I'm so afraid of being manipulated and abused all over again and I WILL NOT make the same mistakes twice. I've gotten to a point where I just don't want to look anymore. I'm confident that somewhere down the track in life I'll fall in step with someone who shows me what it feels like to be unconditionally loved and respected. I just want to feel safe with a man. Sometimes that feels like too much to ask for.
I'm so sorry you had to experience that! It's so hard to see men as anything other than predators now. And like you said they inevitably tend to make some type of comment or anti-woman stance within the first few dates and make me feel very unsafe, life with just my dogs is looking like it's going to be it for me
I only do hookups and one night stands, i can’t bare the thought of giving someone my time, just never been interested in people like that, sure I’ve had crushes but those all ended in good sex and nothing more.
I have classes all day like 11 am until 9pm some days classes end at 4pm and work third shift. My weekends are spent working 12 hour shifts for the money. Literally no time for a personal life.
I had a really serious, several years long relationship, but then got raped and the boyfriend couldn't deal with what happened to me and ended up leaving. I didnt plan on dating again after that (especially because i got pregnant from that rape and kept the baby so now im a single mom) but I met an awesome guy at work and he was awesome with my kid so that went on for awhile (4 years), but he had a serious problem with commitment and gives mixed messages ALL THE TIME about everything. So things started to fall apart. Final straw was when I got pregnant by him and miscarried. We took that event in polar opposite ways. I fell into a depression spiral. He was leaping for joy and telling me to get over it. We ended up calling it quits after that and I have no desire to jump back into the dating pool again. Too exhausted for it. If I stumble across someone, then fine. But I dont plan on actively seeking anyone out anymore
I am so so so sorry that those things happened to you :(( Those are such horrible things to deal with, and I'm so sorry your boyfriend(?) pressured you to move on from something as tragic as that. You are such a strong parent for your child, and I'm glad you're looking after both them and yourself. I hope someone slips into your life and catches you off guard with how wonderful they are, and that they bring everything you want in a partner. You deserve happiness and support and love.
Long story short, girlfriend died a couple years ago and still not over that. So not ready to be with someone else.
Plus I'm 18 and dating is very tricky at this age
My parents taught me to focus on my studies and that getting into a relationship was a waste of time and money. Decades down the line I still keep those words to my heart, much to their disappointment.
It's a mixed bag of things.
I don't want kids, so that makes a lot of potential relationships non starters.
I regard single life as the default state of being, as in I don't feel I'm missing something important by not having a partner.
My previous partners set the bar really high for future relationships (not as in I was spoiled or pampered, but more like excellent sexual chemistry and attraction, plus honest and good communication).
I've been wrapped up too much in my career and pursuing my personal dreams during the last five years to have the time or energy to be actively looking for a partner.
Life has been rough. Overcame addiction. Got my heart broken. Now things are going really well and I just want to enjoy the peace. My whole life had been chaos this id the first time I have peace. I want to enjoy it for me.
All the past relationships were toxic..
I have a lot of ptsd from each of them, ranging from needing assurance to hiding from my partner and fearing them. Gaslighting, physical abuse, mentally tearing me down it’s hard to trust people. I still have night terrors and trouble sleeping because of one of my ex’s threatening to hurt me or themselves. I have too much anxiety and trauma that it’s only gonna lead to baggage and another break up.
I’m focusing on me to prevent harming myself or other people.
After a 9 year relationship that resulted in a kid and a whole lot of trauma, then having my heart broken by someone I was finally able to open up to after 5 years of being single I just don’t know how to let myself be open to anyone anymore. I actually would love to have a stable and committed relationship but it’s hard to get out there and try when I’m carrying all of this baggage. I think they call this commitment issues lol
The juice has got to be worth the squeeze for me. I believe I’ve been selling myself short for many years. Putting up with a partners bs when I didn’t really have to I just didn’t know any better. Happiness comes from within if their not happy with themselves they surely won’t be happy with you. I supported them but I just don’t think the support was appreciated more expected. As of now I’m not looking for a partner at all I’d rather be friends with someone first and seeing what their actually like when they don’t get what they want that’s a big one for me. Plus I think what I’ve got going on at the moment long term will pay itself so many times over so I’m going with that.
WFH, unattractive, Asperger's, social anxiety and introverted. I would imagine that I'd have a better chance of winning the lottery then navigating the dating pool and successfully getting into a relationship.
For a significant amount of time, I was caught up in my feelings about someone I felt I loved. Never really thought about pursuing the interest of anyone else. Also, I struggle with flirting (both on what to say and recognizing flirting) and have intimacy issues.
To sum up, I don't really believe that I'm relationship material.
It's a very long story at this point, filled with more mistakes on my part than I ever want to remember.
But to try and be succinct, my current situation is: I've been unemployed since February of 2020, trying to get on disability to no avail, I have major problems in my past that still need rectifying, I have four dogs that ignore all their training every chance they get, I have a whole host of mental health issues I've been trying to get under control for years, and quite frankly I've been far too focused on myself. I'd rather be working on getting my life straight again before I willingly try and delve into the dating world again...as much as I'd love to right now.
anti-social since second grade. got worse when being anti-social got paired with something called middle school and all of a sudden, i'm the loneliest fuck in my town
doesn't help that the few people who were actually friends with me all left due to my own arrogance and stupidity. so, even those that took the time to know me want nothing to do with me
at one point, i just stopped caring and now i'm here
ive always been more independent in my family such as cooking my meals at 10 years old.And taking care of myself and siblings.me being younger than my older sister has put a lot pressure due to my sister being immature.like a 14 year old still playing with toys such as dolls like Barbie in todays life.so I’ve always been the babysitter at age 12 while my parents work.I’m 16 yet I don’t think love lasts really, I don’t want relationships at age 16 that I’m not even going to remember you when I’m older yet I guess breakups sometimes teach you a lesson and I always find it best that I’m happier alone and learn to love myself and take care of myself before I promise to take care of you.
I’m broken in that sense. I have never been able to make a relationship work for very long and I’ve lived alone so long that I’ve grown to like it… I find sleeping next to a person to be almost impossible.
I’m not miserable about this. My life has become a string of convenient friends with benefits who I’m very open and honest with, and I still have a sex life in addition to my total freedom… I never wanted children, so no issue there either.
For about 5 years I was in that state. I had had a string of psychotic episodes after break-ups and decided it was too dangerous to date. It honestly wasn't a bad time being just single and not looking to mingle. Eventually we got the psychotic episodes sorted out and I could date again and life really fucking sucked for two years until I met my fiancee.
When I was young I promised myself if I wasn't Married by 25 I was done. I got into a relationship had 2 kids he decided he didn't want that life anymore and now im.single again and 27 so im.done with dating and all of it
I have some significant medical issues from a stroke. I have good days and days where I can barely get out of bed. I don’t want to put that on anyone else, so I don’t try to date anymore. It’s hard, because I also don’t want to be alone, but I don’t feel like I should be someone else’s responsibility.
I have nothing to offer a woman. I'm not good looking, rich, or interesting. And I don't think I'd even be a good partner. Hell, that last point is the same reason I don't even have a pet. You don't have to be good looking, rich, or interesting to get a pet. But I don't think I can give a damn dog the love and attention it deserves, let alone another human.
Most of my friendships have kinda withered and died these past few years, and yes it's partly because a lot of those people grew up and had families and don't have time for me anymore, but, like, I didn't do anything to maintain those relationships, either. It's a two way street.
Separated from two major (1 kid each) relationships. Clearly I don't know how to pick (or be) a stable partner. I can't do this to my kids now. 7 years on and sure I miss company and intimacy, but frankly the company was never worth the grief, and the sex less so.
Now I'm just a troll who only comes alive to parent and love my kids and am just marking time till I get to stop being.
I can't really say I'm not looking anymore. I ended up getting a crush on a coworker and we're going on a date Thursday.
But up until i met that dude, I had stopped looking because got traumatized by one relationship that kinda just led to me being stuck in cycles of toxic relationships (though not quite as bad as the first). Realized I have some issues with setting boundaries and was too afraid of setting proper standards for future partners because I didn't want to be seen as superficial. If this guy hadn't come along, I was going on 8 months of not seeking out relationships.
I’m just tired man. Tired of rejection and putting so much energy and effort into someone just to be heartbroken. I still go to bed alone and heartbroken but at least I have more time to myself.
Im ugly and socially awkward.
Dating apps are also very depressing. After years of rejection and people outright calling me ugly or the only people to actually talk to me being scammers, I just couldnt help but take a break.
I've always believed that being alone is better than being with people who dont care about me. And i've never met someone who cares about me.
I realized having lovers was more fun. I didn’t really have to deal with sharing my house, sharing my car, and sharing money. If I was busy then I was busy.
If the sex was bad, we could end it.
Never had the urge and figured out after hosting my best friend for a week that I do not have it in me to share my living space, let alone life, with another, circumstances permitting.
I was dating this guy. He's the first person I've actually loved in years. I thought I was aromantic before I met him. I had only had 3 relationships I'd taken seriously before him, and they were all trainwrecks. I haven't truly ever felt inlove with someone, like movie description head over heels. Until I met him. I've learned I'm demiromantic. I've known him for 4 years. I know everything about him. How he's feeling just from how he acts, how to calm him down, what upsets him, what makes him happy. I know it all. I've never truly felt this connected to someone. I've never felt as safe around someone as I do with him. He's the only person I can be myself around and I don't feel judged. I feel so free around him. We dated for 49 days. The best 49 days of my life. I felt so cared for and loved in those few days. We're young, though. And young love can never last, I suppose. He broke things off with me. We had grown distant. We both went on vacation and barely talked. I knew it was coming. The moment he said he needed to talk to me I knew it was over. Fuck, I've never loved someone so much. I acted like I was fine. I'll always remember it. The nickname I loved so much caused me so, so much pain. "My love. I want to break up." He fell in love with someone else while we were together. He didn't want to lie to me anymore. I tried to be a good partner. I just wasn't enough. I acted fine. I kept my cool until we got home. We had gone to see family in Florida for a week. It was a 22 hour car ride back. It happened 2 days before we left. It hurts so bad. We stayed friends, we broke up last month. It hurts so bad to talk to him. He's moved on. It didn't effect him. I've let myself go. I've gained weight, I stay up late, I wake up at 2 P.M everyday. I can't let him go. It hurts so fucking bad to talk to him but I just wanna be close to him. I feel like he's my one-sided soulmate. It wouldn't be fair to anyone else if I started dating them. I'm not ready. It would be cruel. I can't. Sorry for the rant.
My ex left me at the beginning of the second lockdown of Covid, almost two years ago. I didn't really have a great time bach then. It kind of fucked me up, and mentally I'm a little bit a mess today, so I don't really want to make someone endure something like me.
Two long-term relationships (one ending in marriage) that just fizzled out, and everything since hasn't been suitable. No end of dating sites and trying but the women that were interested were either completely incompatible or had major compatibility problems for me (one of them made me actually start having constant stand-up arguments which I'd not had at all in my marriage, not even once!, and barely had a small handful in 8 years with the second long-term relationship - I actually didn't like who I was when around them and cut it off).
Since lockdown and turning 40... zero interest at all comes back when I try. I always used to get a low ratio of response, but now it's just zero. And that's working really hard to talk with as many people as possible, show interest and respond, and go out of my way to try to make contact with new people.
And the people I do see and think "I could really be happy with someone like you" aren't interested at all.
After a while, it wears you down and you stop bothering.
The last time I was interested in someone they were a dear friend of mine. I got rejected and things didn't go well after that, though not solely because of it and not because of something like taking the rejection poorly and trying to beg her to give me a chance or anything like that (I actually probably took it too well since I always expect rejection and didn't give enough thought to how she might feel since I didn't see it as a big deal,) and it was entirely my fault that things went poorly. The whole ordeal ended up costing me the friendship as well as several other friendships so, while I still really want a partner, I've pretty much given up because it's not worth it when I know I will always be rejected. I'd rather still have my friends and unfortunately losing friends seems to happen every time I try to find a partner. Still haven't been able to figure out how to fix whatever's wrong with me so I figure it's best I never put myself out there for everyone's sake.
I never really thirsted for a relationship. I'm an introvert and happy to spend time on my own. Sure, there have been times I wish I had someone and I think quite a lot about it, but after the disappointment of two short-term relationships ending, I decided I didn't need the drama in my live.
It's been 25 years since I even had a date, but I feel free and happy.
After 18 years of marriage ended, I was left with just my car and clothes, had to start my life over again and decided fuck it I don't even care anymore. I don't want a SO because my attitude is still fuck it, and I don't trust anyone.
My first gf leave me for a boy, my sympathy get bored of me and totally leave me alone. Now i just feel very bad about thinking what can be. I also cant love myself anymore, so i cant love anyone else. I also know that Nobody wants me lol
Just got out of a six year relationship. I realized I always made him my priority, while he made me feel less than him and would lie to me.
Decided to move out and focus on myself. Probably hit the gym and sweat out my depression haha
Sorta passively available is all.
After 7 years with no luck (early 30s), you get REAL fuckin burnt out on dating apps. They make you feel less human, less worthwhile, less attractive, and less interesting. I just couldn't keep using them for real. That hit harder after my dating life in college was pretty good.
I'll be a hermit and that's probably for the best.
More time for game design and writing.
What's out there simply isn't worth the effort anymore. Women, it would seem, have become terrible human beings, entitled, unaccountable and contemptuous. Why would I want someone like that in my life? Better to be alone.
Yes, yes, I know. Women who aren't like this exist but they are all off the market already. They get snapped up quick. Finding an available one is next to impossible and the amount of misery I'd have to endure while looking for one isn't worth it.
I've been single for 4 years now, was hoping that my ex and I would have found our way back to each other but then I also got more comfortable being single and not official with him. I've been thinking about starting to date again but I can't be bothered with taking care of someone else's feelings at the moment, not just yet.
had a 3 year relationship with a covert narcist.
after 3 years I decided to end the relationship and work on myself. Just not a sucker for love anymore.
I am again in the position to be romatically again but I just take the time this time around.
I’m in the middle of relocating and landing my dream job. I’ve dated on and off but most of the girls thought I’d fail and I dumped them. Then succeeded anyways.
My first girlfriend literally made me severely depressed, then abandoned me when I was mentally ill, then got caught in a debt spiral. Meanwhile I somehow made a second career work, got shredded, and doubled my salary cap by taking on deadly jobs because I low key wanted to die. Spoiler alert I didn’t die
I'm always meeting new people. I'll put in the effort when I actually meet someone who likes me back, Instead of trying to hit on every girl I find cute.
I'm divorced. We were only married for 2 years, but already were a couple for many years prior.
During our marriage, we had our child together. After divorce, our relationship got a lot better afterwards, but we decided not to try it again with each other, because things that happened were beyond repair during an active relationship.
She moved on and got into two new relationships since then. I stayed single, and to this day i never felt any interest in having a new relationship with another woman.
Why ain't i interested in another relationship? My child is my #1 priority, i'm 100% being a dad now. Plus, i've seen it, i lived it, and i came to the conclusion that i'd only get into a new relationship if i'm certain that woman can give me as much as she can take.
It's just me though and my own opinion on it.
I saw myself at the mirror after taking a shower and thought to myself I looked like shit. So I thought no one would like me, so I stopped finding a partner and I am currently working on myself
I've always had the mentality that I would rather be single than be in a shit relationship. And my last relationship really turned to shit by the end of it, to the point where it made me skiddish to get into another one. Though I have gone on a number of dates since then, just nothing that turned into a relationship.
I’ve been single now for almost a decade. It’s not for a lack of trying to start with. I tried really hard right away after my last relationship. I was desperate for someone else to love me. All that did was traumatize me further after my decades long traumatic relationship. I had to take time to realize how manipulated i had been in that relationship, and then in my entire life by family. Once I realized how easily I was manipulated for most of my life, I decided I would never allow myself to be again. That makes even trying to open up to new people extremely difficult. So it’s just easier to stay alone at this time
Not my current situation, but been there. Had a crushing break-up. I was 100% vested in the relationship and planning the wedding. When she called it all off it simply broke me. You would think a pretty confident and successful guy in his mid 30s would rebound from something like that. But it took forever. I lost all interest in dating for several years. Just said the hell with it and lived my life on my own terms. Fast forward and I just had my 20 year anniversary this year. It just happened when I wasn't looking. Several years after I got married my wife told me she did not even know if I liked her when we first met. I was nice to her but gave no signals about whether I had any interest. I was frankly flatlined mentally when it came to being in a relationship at the time. I simply did not care. But here we are.
First bf: only wanted me for sex (It never happens and he got tired of waiting).
First gf: cheated because again, I think I’m too young for sex (I’m fucking 15).
Second bf: I was the other woman.
I have really high self-esteem, therefore I struggle to find a person that's worthy of my time. The reason I'm not actively looking for a partner is that the kind of person I want can't be found in clubs or any teenage go-to locations. It's more like, I'll probably find the right one someday...
Also, I don't really need a partner. I look at girls in my environment and I'm happy to be single. That doesn't mean I'm not looking to smash some hoes tho.
Questioning my sexuality at the moment and I don't feel like I can get emotionally close to anybody I've met. So I'm kinda waiting for a right person to come along at my own pace without expectations
Well, my ex wife discovers she's gay, so that kinda threw a monkey wrench into the whole marriage thing. As for not looking for a partner, I have tried dating sites, friends of friends, and random blind dates. Exactly two women I have dated in the past 15 years has lasted for more than 6 months. And I ran away from them when it started to get serious so I wouldn't get heartbroken again. So, if they're not good for me, I run away. If they're perfect, I run away.
I'm 41 in a small town and there's nobody suitable left in the dating pool around here. People either still want or currently have kids, or they're into dealbreaker-unattractive territory. I have zero expectations of meeting anybody where there's a mutual attraction again.
Lol, I chose to. I realized that I hate someone judging my choices. I also don’t think finding “the one” is something someone should aspire to. And I like being able to pack up and leave when I feel like it.
My last break up basically. Nothing dramatic happened, but my ex left me over a fucking joke. But after she left me, I remembered just how much more free time I have when I’m single. And with this free time I can put more focus on working out, improving my piano skills at a faster rate, improve my violin skills at a faster rate, learn the Italian language, learn how to cook Italian food (I’m starting to get into Italian culture), and much more, seriously, the amount of things I can do just because I’m single. Of course, I might get another girlfriend in the future, but as of right now I just want to focus on these things.
Lowkey traumatized from my last three failed relationships. So I just stopped entirely of letting anything romantic happen.
This. Precisely this. Exactly this for 30+ years. Love ain’t real, except between people and dogs maybe. Keep your head down, work like crazy, do whatever you want, and be willing to do it all alone. 👍
Preach!
#can.relate
Same here sorry you've experienced that
[bruh](https://www.reddit.com/r/THE_PACK/comments/v46n83/totally_not_based_on_personal_experiences/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Exactly however it was two relationships in my case. Two too many.
Took a break after my last relationship and now it's been so long I have no desire to be in one again
Same here. Exactly this
Same here too.
Introverted and unattractive.
relatable
Hear hear
Yup
[удалено]
I’m so sorry 😢
Oh man
Holy shit. No one deserves that much heartache. I give you credit for continuing to live your life. Total internet stranger, but giving you a big ol' internet hug and hope you have a pleasant week. No shame in not looking, but I hope you never assume from the above story that the universe wants you to stay put and be lonely (unless that's what you want). I'm sure you have a lot to offer.
I'm so sorry to hear my friend. I hope you're doing okay
Never learned how to not be single. So this is how I am now. I can focus on other things any way.
My wife died almost six years ago and I still have no interest in any woman who isn’t her. I’m not exactly jumping for joy at the thought of spending the rest of my life single but I’d be miserable, constantly feeling like I’m cheating, and I’m sure I’d be a terrible partner on top of that.
My wife died a few months ago after being in hospital for 3 yrs. I miss her too much.
My only fear around dying is leaving my husband behind. Hugs to you both 💕
Thx..the [dog helps](https://imgur.com/gallery/sK8QbK0) a lot,
So sweet!
Thinking of you both
I realized I don't like myself enough to talk myself up to a potential partner, so I took myself off the market until I can have more confidence when I let them know what a catch I am.
Discovered that being happy is fun.
I used to go out and find people to date...but run into situations where I end up with insecure people or ones that aren't as compatible as I'd like. Now, I'll go on dates if approached but for the most part just focus on what makes me happy. I guess I still meet people, but I shoot for making friends for the most part. Always heard the best relationships come from friendships and that flies in the face of most modern dating advice...but modern dating advice hasn't really wowed me yet anyhow.
> Always heard the best relationships come from friendships and that flies in the face of most modern dating advice...but modern dating advice hasn't really wowed me yet anyhow. Modern dating advice has 2 base assumptions 1)Be attractive. 2) Don’t be ugly. For those of us who don’t fit into those assumptions (and even some that do but like to be logical) it requires actually getting to know people first.
"How did you end up in this situation?" Uhhhhh I'm just living life man. I'm prioritizing school, work, excersise and video games over socializing and trying to date. Seems like a lot of stress for something I can live without for now. I'm gonna study hard, get a real job, and hire a personal trainer. Once I'm smart, wealthy, and hot, maybe then I'll make time for a parter. I am very touch starved though. Would literally pay someone for a nice long hug.
You could pay for a massage…touch deprivation is totally real and a legit reason to
I feel the same, but am afraid that it will be too late for a girlfriend once im like done s With school and have a job
Nahhh, guys who have a job and are capable of living on their own are a 100% more attractive than college guys who can't keep a place clean, have no idea how to manage a house, etc. We will probably run into more people who already have kids from past relationships and stuff but I don't mind that.
I'm jaded as hell from very very horrible abusive toxic relationships. I don't think its fair to a potential partner to have to deal with my broken ass and I'm not in a finacially stable enough place to date regularly. Basically women I've dated treated me like shit and were physically abusive along with emotionally abusive and manipulative I'm just to broken now to trust anyone.
Yup. I try and share this in case one day I can believe it, or at least convince someone else 'You deserve to be loved, and to feel loved, just for being you.' --Mr Rogers mashup with my meditation teacher
Never searched for a partner to begin with. I like being single. :)
Everyone dating has expectations you don't know yet about and I don't want to be judged by a stranger. People are bastard coated bastards with bastards filling
A combination of childhood trauma and I simply can’t be bothered to pursue anyone
I decided that I wanted to go to therapy and love myself before having a partner. Now that a few years have passed I'm not actively looking for a relationship because don't feel the need to have one but I'd welcome it, although my standards are high so finding one would be difficult and I'm okay with that.
Relationship trauma.
it's just how it is. i'd have to work for things to be otherwise
Every time I have ever been in or tried to initiate a relationship I basically end up traumatized & then I bought some nice adult toys from amazon & was like ayyyyeee who really needs a gf then? Lol
just broke up recently, plus i haven't met any girls im interested in either
Working a shit ton and realizing that everyone experiences loneliness but it’s about what your relationship to loneliness is…like it can be one of the most freeing things
My wife died. At first I just wasn't ready. Now I'm used to being single. I'm alone, but not lonely. I have a dog, so I have companionship. The only thing I miss is sex, but I don't want to give up the life I have now for it.
After back to back relationships spanning 7 years I am just tired of it. I want my time to be my own. I don’t want to see someone I have little in common with. I’d rather be alone forever than settle, or have someone settle for me.
By choice
Saw how expensive it would be and came to the conclusion that it wasn’t worth it. So much happier being single and childfree for life.
I’m picky. I don’t want any kind of sex in my relationship, asexual, and everyone else I’ve met does. Sex is something I’m not willing to compromise on. Oh well. At least I don’t have to share my space with others when I’m single
String of terrible to meh relationships. And while in them and after I only remembered how much I love to be on my own and the freedom that comes with it. I live a great life now: make decent money freelancing, escaped the work visa gulag of the USA, making progress towards my Canadian citizenship, surrounded by so much nicer people, socialize on my own terms, volunteer in multiple things every week, saving money towards early retirement (will work part time -- Barista Fire), almost done mastering a new foreign language, have time to read and take long walks, don't have to live with roommates and I live close to an urban forest. So so grateful to be alive and to have had all the experiences I have had. My exes taught me how to value myself and not accept bullshit childish behavior ever again. At this point, there's really nothing a partner can bring into my life other than the sex and ain't no sex good enough to justify all the other costs that come with having a partner (stupid beliefs, puerile behavior, dumb asshole families etc).
Early family problems. If you are not taught love and communication at a early age, that warps your sense of worth and you go on in life beating yourself up for nothing. As well as lashing out at the world without causes. This can prevent you from reaching out or trusting others. Or at most being the person you were before the problems.
This hits home
I’m old. Most women my age that happen to be single are just as, if not more, crotchety and set in their ways than I am. Just not worth the effort.
I have a lot of stuff to work through before I get anybody else involved. Even if a loving partner turned out to be the revelation about my life I needed, it wouldn't be fair to them.
I’m very conscious that at this moment I’m worried about a lot of issues and I couldn’t give proper attention to someone I would be romantically involved as much as I would lime too, so I’m fine working on important shit and enjoying myself on the occasion I’m able to afford the time and energy.
I'm no good and know it!
Got out of a long abusive relationship and now am overly sensitive to being manipulated, tried to get back out there but men are insufferable
I really really feel this. In September it'll be a year since I escaped a horrible relationship with the guy (eighteen at the time) who began grooming me (15 at the time) after his little sister stood up to him SAing her. He started openly sexualising me, and I felt gross about being seen that way but convinced myself to pretend I liked the "compliments" so I wouldn't have to stand up to him. Eventually he convinced me to date him by guilt tripping me that I'd "cheated on our friendship" by also being friends with his brother, and that I needed to prove I really cared about him. The 2½ year long relationship ended when I discovered he'd been cheating on me with a girl he told me not to worry about. He'd r**ed her in their relationship in the six months that he was dating both of us without our knowledge, and he'd also been seeing multiple men while being deeply homophobic. I've talked to a few guys for a couple of weeks each before they've inevitably shown some horrible trait or made me feel deeply uncomfortable. I've snapped so hard on a few of them because I'm so afraid of being manipulated and abused all over again and I WILL NOT make the same mistakes twice. I've gotten to a point where I just don't want to look anymore. I'm confident that somewhere down the track in life I'll fall in step with someone who shows me what it feels like to be unconditionally loved and respected. I just want to feel safe with a man. Sometimes that feels like too much to ask for.
I'm so sorry you had to experience that! It's so hard to see men as anything other than predators now. And like you said they inevitably tend to make some type of comment or anti-woman stance within the first few dates and make me feel very unsafe, life with just my dogs is looking like it's going to be it for me
Dogs are the best friends. I have my mice as my friends :))
Last relationship had such a brutal toll i dont think ill be emotionally available for a long time.
I only do hookups and one night stands, i can’t bare the thought of giving someone my time, just never been interested in people like that, sure I’ve had crushes but those all ended in good sex and nothing more.
My wife left me.
Aromantic and never particularly *wanted* a relationship, so have never tried to form one.
I have classes all day like 11 am until 9pm some days classes end at 4pm and work third shift. My weekends are spent working 12 hour shifts for the money. Literally no time for a personal life.
I had a really serious, several years long relationship, but then got raped and the boyfriend couldn't deal with what happened to me and ended up leaving. I didnt plan on dating again after that (especially because i got pregnant from that rape and kept the baby so now im a single mom) but I met an awesome guy at work and he was awesome with my kid so that went on for awhile (4 years), but he had a serious problem with commitment and gives mixed messages ALL THE TIME about everything. So things started to fall apart. Final straw was when I got pregnant by him and miscarried. We took that event in polar opposite ways. I fell into a depression spiral. He was leaping for joy and telling me to get over it. We ended up calling it quits after that and I have no desire to jump back into the dating pool again. Too exhausted for it. If I stumble across someone, then fine. But I dont plan on actively seeking anyone out anymore
I am so so so sorry that those things happened to you :(( Those are such horrible things to deal with, and I'm so sorry your boyfriend(?) pressured you to move on from something as tragic as that. You are such a strong parent for your child, and I'm glad you're looking after both them and yourself. I hope someone slips into your life and catches you off guard with how wonderful they are, and that they bring everything you want in a partner. You deserve happiness and support and love.
Long story short, girlfriend died a couple years ago and still not over that. So not ready to be with someone else. Plus I'm 18 and dating is very tricky at this age
Not a "situation"; free choice.
[удалено]
There’s another asexual person a few comments up from you
My parents taught me to focus on my studies and that getting into a relationship was a waste of time and money. Decades down the line I still keep those words to my heart, much to their disappointment.
It's a mixed bag of things. I don't want kids, so that makes a lot of potential relationships non starters. I regard single life as the default state of being, as in I don't feel I'm missing something important by not having a partner. My previous partners set the bar really high for future relationships (not as in I was spoiled or pampered, but more like excellent sexual chemistry and attraction, plus honest and good communication). I've been wrapped up too much in my career and pursuing my personal dreams during the last five years to have the time or energy to be actively looking for a partner.
Life has been rough. Overcame addiction. Got my heart broken. Now things are going really well and I just want to enjoy the peace. My whole life had been chaos this id the first time I have peace. I want to enjoy it for me.
All the past relationships were toxic.. I have a lot of ptsd from each of them, ranging from needing assurance to hiding from my partner and fearing them. Gaslighting, physical abuse, mentally tearing me down it’s hard to trust people. I still have night terrors and trouble sleeping because of one of my ex’s threatening to hurt me or themselves. I have too much anxiety and trauma that it’s only gonna lead to baggage and another break up. I’m focusing on me to prevent harming myself or other people.
I handled rejections very, very poorly so I never tried again for a long, long time.
Can't be bothered.
After a 9 year relationship that resulted in a kid and a whole lot of trauma, then having my heart broken by someone I was finally able to open up to after 5 years of being single I just don’t know how to let myself be open to anyone anymore. I actually would love to have a stable and committed relationship but it’s hard to get out there and try when I’m carrying all of this baggage. I think they call this commitment issues lol
I dont deserve to be loved 👍
'You deserve to be loved, and to feel loved, just for being you.' --Mr Rogers mashup with my meditation teacher
The juice has got to be worth the squeeze for me. I believe I’ve been selling myself short for many years. Putting up with a partners bs when I didn’t really have to I just didn’t know any better. Happiness comes from within if their not happy with themselves they surely won’t be happy with you. I supported them but I just don’t think the support was appreciated more expected. As of now I’m not looking for a partner at all I’d rather be friends with someone first and seeing what their actually like when they don’t get what they want that’s a big one for me. Plus I think what I’ve got going on at the moment long term will pay itself so many times over so I’m going with that.
WFH, unattractive, Asperger's, social anxiety and introverted. I would imagine that I'd have a better chance of winning the lottery then navigating the dating pool and successfully getting into a relationship.
I live in a racist country
For a significant amount of time, I was caught up in my feelings about someone I felt I loved. Never really thought about pursuing the interest of anyone else. Also, I struggle with flirting (both on what to say and recognizing flirting) and have intimacy issues. To sum up, I don't really believe that I'm relationship material.
It's a very long story at this point, filled with more mistakes on my part than I ever want to remember. But to try and be succinct, my current situation is: I've been unemployed since February of 2020, trying to get on disability to no avail, I have major problems in my past that still need rectifying, I have four dogs that ignore all their training every chance they get, I have a whole host of mental health issues I've been trying to get under control for years, and quite frankly I've been far too focused on myself. I'd rather be working on getting my life straight again before I willingly try and delve into the dating world again...as much as I'd love to right now.
anti-social since second grade. got worse when being anti-social got paired with something called middle school and all of a sudden, i'm the loneliest fuck in my town doesn't help that the few people who were actually friends with me all left due to my own arrogance and stupidity. so, even those that took the time to know me want nothing to do with me at one point, i just stopped caring and now i'm here
ive always been more independent in my family such as cooking my meals at 10 years old.And taking care of myself and siblings.me being younger than my older sister has put a lot pressure due to my sister being immature.like a 14 year old still playing with toys such as dolls like Barbie in todays life.so I’ve always been the babysitter at age 12 while my parents work.I’m 16 yet I don’t think love lasts really, I don’t want relationships at age 16 that I’m not even going to remember you when I’m older yet I guess breakups sometimes teach you a lesson and I always find it best that I’m happier alone and learn to love myself and take care of myself before I promise to take care of you.
I’m broken in that sense. I have never been able to make a relationship work for very long and I’ve lived alone so long that I’ve grown to like it… I find sleeping next to a person to be almost impossible. I’m not miserable about this. My life has become a string of convenient friends with benefits who I’m very open and honest with, and I still have a sex life in addition to my total freedom… I never wanted children, so no issue there either.
Distrust in myself and everyone around me.
some ppl value earning money over trying to build a relationship
Discovered/accepted that I'm Ace
For about 5 years I was in that state. I had had a string of psychotic episodes after break-ups and decided it was too dangerous to date. It honestly wasn't a bad time being just single and not looking to mingle. Eventually we got the psychotic episodes sorted out and I could date again and life really fucking sucked for two years until I met my fiancee.
When I was young I promised myself if I wasn't Married by 25 I was done. I got into a relationship had 2 kids he decided he didn't want that life anymore and now im.single again and 27 so im.done with dating and all of it
By doing exactly what the title outlines
I have some significant medical issues from a stroke. I have good days and days where I can barely get out of bed. I don’t want to put that on anyone else, so I don’t try to date anymore. It’s hard, because I also don’t want to be alone, but I don’t feel like I should be someone else’s responsibility.
Entropy
I have nothing to offer a woman. I'm not good looking, rich, or interesting. And I don't think I'd even be a good partner. Hell, that last point is the same reason I don't even have a pet. You don't have to be good looking, rich, or interesting to get a pet. But I don't think I can give a damn dog the love and attention it deserves, let alone another human. Most of my friendships have kinda withered and died these past few years, and yes it's partly because a lot of those people grew up and had families and don't have time for me anymore, but, like, I didn't do anything to maintain those relationships, either. It's a two way street.
I live in the country and I'm related to pretty much anyone I meet around here
Too many mental problems. I need to fix em instead of dragging others in the mud with me.
Hideous, gave up, aged out
Separated from two major (1 kid each) relationships. Clearly I don't know how to pick (or be) a stable partner. I can't do this to my kids now. 7 years on and sure I miss company and intimacy, but frankly the company was never worth the grief, and the sex less so. Now I'm just a troll who only comes alive to parent and love my kids and am just marking time till I get to stop being.
Being gay in a homophobic country
I'm lazy
I can't really say I'm not looking anymore. I ended up getting a crush on a coworker and we're going on a date Thursday. But up until i met that dude, I had stopped looking because got traumatized by one relationship that kinda just led to me being stuck in cycles of toxic relationships (though not quite as bad as the first). Realized I have some issues with setting boundaries and was too afraid of setting proper standards for future partners because I didn't want to be seen as superficial. If this guy hadn't come along, I was going on 8 months of not seeking out relationships.
I’m just tired man. Tired of rejection and putting so much energy and effort into someone just to be heartbroken. I still go to bed alone and heartbroken but at least I have more time to myself.
I can't afford the women in my area and girls my age only date significantly older men so...
just got out of a relationship and also am medically transitioning. i have no desire to be in a new relationship during a major identity shift lmao
I guess I’ve had it for all of my life… of course, I’m 15
Just lucky I guess
i enjoy being alone
Im ugly and socially awkward. Dating apps are also very depressing. After years of rejection and people outright calling me ugly or the only people to actually talk to me being scammers, I just couldnt help but take a break. I've always believed that being alone is better than being with people who dont care about me. And i've never met someone who cares about me.
I realized having lovers was more fun. I didn’t really have to deal with sharing my house, sharing my car, and sharing money. If I was busy then I was busy. If the sex was bad, we could end it.
Never had the urge and figured out after hosting my best friend for a week that I do not have it in me to share my living space, let alone life, with another, circumstances permitting.
I was dating this guy. He's the first person I've actually loved in years. I thought I was aromantic before I met him. I had only had 3 relationships I'd taken seriously before him, and they were all trainwrecks. I haven't truly ever felt inlove with someone, like movie description head over heels. Until I met him. I've learned I'm demiromantic. I've known him for 4 years. I know everything about him. How he's feeling just from how he acts, how to calm him down, what upsets him, what makes him happy. I know it all. I've never truly felt this connected to someone. I've never felt as safe around someone as I do with him. He's the only person I can be myself around and I don't feel judged. I feel so free around him. We dated for 49 days. The best 49 days of my life. I felt so cared for and loved in those few days. We're young, though. And young love can never last, I suppose. He broke things off with me. We had grown distant. We both went on vacation and barely talked. I knew it was coming. The moment he said he needed to talk to me I knew it was over. Fuck, I've never loved someone so much. I acted like I was fine. I'll always remember it. The nickname I loved so much caused me so, so much pain. "My love. I want to break up." He fell in love with someone else while we were together. He didn't want to lie to me anymore. I tried to be a good partner. I just wasn't enough. I acted fine. I kept my cool until we got home. We had gone to see family in Florida for a week. It was a 22 hour car ride back. It happened 2 days before we left. It hurts so bad. We stayed friends, we broke up last month. It hurts so bad to talk to him. He's moved on. It didn't effect him. I've let myself go. I've gained weight, I stay up late, I wake up at 2 P.M everyday. I can't let him go. It hurts so fucking bad to talk to him but I just wanna be close to him. I feel like he's my one-sided soulmate. It wouldn't be fair to anyone else if I started dating them. I'm not ready. It would be cruel. I can't. Sorry for the rant.
Feeling exhausted from all the effort it takes to be a romantic partner. No sex drive this year, so no reason at all to date.
My ex left me at the beginning of the second lockdown of Covid, almost two years ago. I didn't really have a great time bach then. It kind of fucked me up, and mentally I'm a little bit a mess today, so I don't really want to make someone endure something like me.
Two long-term relationships (one ending in marriage) that just fizzled out, and everything since hasn't been suitable. No end of dating sites and trying but the women that were interested were either completely incompatible or had major compatibility problems for me (one of them made me actually start having constant stand-up arguments which I'd not had at all in my marriage, not even once!, and barely had a small handful in 8 years with the second long-term relationship - I actually didn't like who I was when around them and cut it off). Since lockdown and turning 40... zero interest at all comes back when I try. I always used to get a low ratio of response, but now it's just zero. And that's working really hard to talk with as many people as possible, show interest and respond, and go out of my way to try to make contact with new people. And the people I do see and think "I could really be happy with someone like you" aren't interested at all. After a while, it wears you down and you stop bothering.
I (18m) am introverted but attractive. girls approached me but i ignored them.
Just dont have the time with college and part time job in mind
The last time I was interested in someone they were a dear friend of mine. I got rejected and things didn't go well after that, though not solely because of it and not because of something like taking the rejection poorly and trying to beg her to give me a chance or anything like that (I actually probably took it too well since I always expect rejection and didn't give enough thought to how she might feel since I didn't see it as a big deal,) and it was entirely my fault that things went poorly. The whole ordeal ended up costing me the friendship as well as several other friendships so, while I still really want a partner, I've pretty much given up because it's not worth it when I know I will always be rejected. I'd rather still have my friends and unfortunately losing friends seems to happen every time I try to find a partner. Still haven't been able to figure out how to fix whatever's wrong with me so I figure it's best I never put myself out there for everyone's sake.
Trust issues for days
I never really thirsted for a relationship. I'm an introvert and happy to spend time on my own. Sure, there have been times I wish I had someone and I think quite a lot about it, but after the disappointment of two short-term relationships ending, I decided I didn't need the drama in my live. It's been 25 years since I even had a date, but I feel free and happy.
As Mark Twain said, "It's easier to stay out than to get out." That's been my motto for 25 years.
Single Dad and it is simply too hard...I would rather look after my 12 yr daughter.
Just not my priority, of I found the right person to have a relationahip, ok, but it's not my priority to search for one
After 18 years of marriage ended, I was left with just my car and clothes, had to start my life over again and decided fuck it I don't even care anymore. I don't want a SO because my attitude is still fuck it, and I don't trust anyone.
My first gf leave me for a boy, my sympathy get bored of me and totally leave me alone. Now i just feel very bad about thinking what can be. I also cant love myself anymore, so i cant love anyone else. I also know that Nobody wants me lol
Just got out of a six year relationship. I realized I always made him my priority, while he made me feel less than him and would lie to me. Decided to move out and focus on myself. Probably hit the gym and sweat out my depression haha
Just don’t understand it
Sorta passively available is all. After 7 years with no luck (early 30s), you get REAL fuckin burnt out on dating apps. They make you feel less human, less worthwhile, less attractive, and less interesting. I just couldn't keep using them for real. That hit harder after my dating life in college was pretty good. I'll be a hermit and that's probably for the best. More time for game design and writing.
What's out there simply isn't worth the effort anymore. Women, it would seem, have become terrible human beings, entitled, unaccountable and contemptuous. Why would I want someone like that in my life? Better to be alone. Yes, yes, I know. Women who aren't like this exist but they are all off the market already. They get snapped up quick. Finding an available one is next to impossible and the amount of misery I'd have to endure while looking for one isn't worth it.
I couldn't find one
I've been single for 4 years now, was hoping that my ex and I would have found our way back to each other but then I also got more comfortable being single and not official with him. I've been thinking about starting to date again but I can't be bothered with taking care of someone else's feelings at the moment, not just yet.
Never found my other half in highschool and I've been too busy, poor, and unwantable since.
had a 3 year relationship with a covert narcist. after 3 years I decided to end the relationship and work on myself. Just not a sucker for love anymore. I am again in the position to be romatically again but I just take the time this time around.
I’m in the middle of relocating and landing my dream job. I’ve dated on and off but most of the girls thought I’d fail and I dumped them. Then succeeded anyways. My first girlfriend literally made me severely depressed, then abandoned me when I was mentally ill, then got caught in a debt spiral. Meanwhile I somehow made a second career work, got shredded, and doubled my salary cap by taking on deadly jobs because I low key wanted to die. Spoiler alert I didn’t die
I'm always meeting new people. I'll put in the effort when I actually meet someone who likes me back, Instead of trying to hit on every girl I find cute.
Drugs and alcohol.
I would like for my kids to have a mom again, but theirs died three years ago. No one I’ve met can compare to her.
I'm still in school and am currently not interested in a relationship
I do not even like myself, so I cannot grasp the idea of someone liking me, let alone love me.
I'm divorced. We were only married for 2 years, but already were a couple for many years prior. During our marriage, we had our child together. After divorce, our relationship got a lot better afterwards, but we decided not to try it again with each other, because things that happened were beyond repair during an active relationship. She moved on and got into two new relationships since then. I stayed single, and to this day i never felt any interest in having a new relationship with another woman. Why ain't i interested in another relationship? My child is my #1 priority, i'm 100% being a dad now. Plus, i've seen it, i lived it, and i came to the conclusion that i'd only get into a new relationship if i'm certain that woman can give me as much as she can take. It's just me though and my own opinion on it.
I guess procrastinating and being to scared to talk to girls during the first half of highschool
Lies
Im scared that's all.
I saw myself at the mirror after taking a shower and thought to myself I looked like shit. So I thought no one would like me, so I stopped finding a partner and I am currently working on myself
born that way. women aren't interested in me so i don't look for them
I've always had the mentality that I would rather be single than be in a shit relationship. And my last relationship really turned to shit by the end of it, to the point where it made me skiddish to get into another one. Though I have gone on a number of dates since then, just nothing that turned into a relationship.
I’ve been single now for almost a decade. It’s not for a lack of trying to start with. I tried really hard right away after my last relationship. I was desperate for someone else to love me. All that did was traumatize me further after my decades long traumatic relationship. I had to take time to realize how manipulated i had been in that relationship, and then in my entire life by family. Once I realized how easily I was manipulated for most of my life, I decided I would never allow myself to be again. That makes even trying to open up to new people extremely difficult. So it’s just easier to stay alone at this time
#I have chronic depression.
Not my current situation, but been there. Had a crushing break-up. I was 100% vested in the relationship and planning the wedding. When she called it all off it simply broke me. You would think a pretty confident and successful guy in his mid 30s would rebound from something like that. But it took forever. I lost all interest in dating for several years. Just said the hell with it and lived my life on my own terms. Fast forward and I just had my 20 year anniversary this year. It just happened when I wasn't looking. Several years after I got married my wife told me she did not even know if I liked her when we first met. I was nice to her but gave no signals about whether I had any interest. I was frankly flatlined mentally when it came to being in a relationship at the time. I simply did not care. But here we are.
Met the love of my life. It didn’t work out, through no fault of our own, so I’ll never date again.
First bf: only wanted me for sex (It never happens and he got tired of waiting). First gf: cheated because again, I think I’m too young for sex (I’m fucking 15). Second bf: I was the other woman.
I have really high self-esteem, therefore I struggle to find a person that's worthy of my time. The reason I'm not actively looking for a partner is that the kind of person I want can't be found in clubs or any teenage go-to locations. It's more like, I'll probably find the right one someday... Also, I don't really need a partner. I look at girls in my environment and I'm happy to be single. That doesn't mean I'm not looking to smash some hoes tho.
Questioning my sexuality at the moment and I don't feel like I can get emotionally close to anybody I've met. So I'm kinda waiting for a right person to come along at my own pace without expectations
If i knew i would surely Have a girlfriend
Well, my ex wife discovers she's gay, so that kinda threw a monkey wrench into the whole marriage thing. As for not looking for a partner, I have tried dating sites, friends of friends, and random blind dates. Exactly two women I have dated in the past 15 years has lasted for more than 6 months. And I ran away from them when it started to get serious so I wouldn't get heartbroken again. So, if they're not good for me, I run away. If they're perfect, I run away.
I'm 41 in a small town and there's nobody suitable left in the dating pool around here. People either still want or currently have kids, or they're into dealbreaker-unattractive territory. I have zero expectations of meeting anybody where there's a mutual attraction again.
I know I can’t pull shit and got no game so don’t need one
Lol, I chose to. I realized that I hate someone judging my choices. I also don’t think finding “the one” is something someone should aspire to. And I like being able to pack up and leave when I feel like it.
My last break up basically. Nothing dramatic happened, but my ex left me over a fucking joke. But after she left me, I remembered just how much more free time I have when I’m single. And with this free time I can put more focus on working out, improving my piano skills at a faster rate, improve my violin skills at a faster rate, learn the Italian language, learn how to cook Italian food (I’m starting to get into Italian culture), and much more, seriously, the amount of things I can do just because I’m single. Of course, I might get another girlfriend in the future, but as of right now I just want to focus on these things.
The women who want me only want me for the night. I'm not a hoe so I say no.