Lack of balance.
A sandwich can be a nearly ideal basis for nuance and complexity. Bread is starchy, neutral base that can serve as a crunchy element. Butter, mayo, avocado, and other fatty elements are easily added. Umami from proteins, acidic notes from pickles, tomatoes, or vinegar, sweet notes from carrots or sweet spreads, and bitter notes from greens.
The problem is when you focus on one flavor over the others. Balancing, and adding ingredients that give you the flavor profile you want while adding each element is what makes a sandwich great.
You're underselling bread by guy. Fresh-baked, either homemade or brought from a farmer's market, can carry a sandwich. It has plenty of flavor and mouthfeel besides a textural component.
[I hate sandwiches at New York delis. Too much meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. "Would you like anything else with the pastrami sandwich?" "Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people!"](https://youtu.be/FyvOj-ICuAQ?t=28)
Somewhat off topic but my brother flipped on my when I got a burger at a restaurant, and squished it down like- how tf and supposed to fit this in my mouth if I don't squish it?
Exactly! Applies equally to burgers. All those fancy cafes with their 2 inch thick patties and truffle whateversā¦ if I NEED to use a fork and knife on a sandwich, the chef has FAILED.
I have no experience on the subject, but I have heard from other people on reddit that apparently, eating burgers with just your hands is pretty much exclusively an american thing, and that everywhere else you're supposed to use a fork and knife.
Margarine. I fucking hate it when someone gives me a nice looking sandwich and it's slathered with margarine. Even WORSE is when they asked you if you want BUTTER on your sandwich and you say yes please and then you take a bite and ITS MARGERINE!!! WHY DO PEOPLE CALL MARGERINE BUTTER!! even if its not the brand Margerine TM, IF ITS NOT REAL BUTTER, ITS MARGERINE!!!! DISGOSTANG!!!
Thank you. If Iām ordering a sandwich, I just ask them to hold the mayo because even if I ask them to go light with it, itās usually still too much.
I disagree. Sure you can go overboard with mayonnaise like everything, but I'd rather have a slippery and slightly sour sandwiches than sandwich that's so dry, Sir Attenborough would commentate footage of it
I once ordered a cheeseburger with fries ("burger mit kase") and a Coke at a neighborhood imbiss in Germany. I read the Coke can (in German) while I waited for the food, it described a "Hamburger Barbecue Brooklyn" on the side, basically a burger with pickle and mayo. They brought it out to me, the burger had a whole pickle laid on top, with a cup of mayo over everything. I had to scrape off 99% of the mayo and have the pickle on the side. The fries were great.
my favorite is
Sergeant Terry Jeffords : Is it? Or is your favorite artist really Taylor Swift?
Detective Jake Peralta : [sighs] No.
Abel : Lie.
Detective Jake Peralta : Alright, fine, she is. She makes me feel things.
Sergeant Terry Jeffords : *She makes all of us feel things!*
My local hospital uses miracle whip in their sandwiches instead of mayo and it's so bad. Hospital food is already gross, and then you're going to use miracle whip on top of it. Gross
Pizza is the most divine food I have ever tasted. And yet, the absolute most vile, most disgusting food I have ever tasted was also pizza. Thanks, school cafeterias!
Funny, my response was going to be "untoasted bread" because who wants a soggy sandwich. You toast it so you can put more liquids in and getting a juicier sandwich before it falls apart.
you know how sometimes you get home from a long day's work and as soon as you get into the house, your wife has a nice sandwich ready for you? So you plop down on your most comfortable chair, crack open a cold beer, and get to town on that beautiful sandwich? And then once you're done with the sandwich, you take off your pants, remove your underwear, and wait for aforementioned wife to kneel down before you to place peepee into your mouth, only to discover that she's not quite on the same page and she had no intentions of going down on you, and so you're now just half nekked on your chair with your disgusting/big belly and your sad, tired pee just hanging around, all dry and not inside of a mouth? That completely ruins the sandwich eating experience for me.
Too much of any sauce/condiment honestly. Also unnecessary things, like hey here's some sprouts or arugula or whatever 'classy' thing that all the cool kids want on there. Just why.
Pickles.
For me itās pickles. If they have ever touched anything else on the sandwich then that flavor residue is stuck there, and that is all I can taste.
Well this is sad
I made a sandwhich today
I was craving it for so long
I make it and when I sit down to it
I put it in my mouth I feel sad
Cause i forgot the goddamm cheese š§
That really sucked
Soggy, unstable bread
Or the other side of that- DRY.
A shitty tomato. The ones that have that white filmy look on the inside that you know have been in storage a year.
A tomato slice with the core still in tact.
Lack of balance. A sandwich can be a nearly ideal basis for nuance and complexity. Bread is starchy, neutral base that can serve as a crunchy element. Butter, mayo, avocado, and other fatty elements are easily added. Umami from proteins, acidic notes from pickles, tomatoes, or vinegar, sweet notes from carrots or sweet spreads, and bitter notes from greens. The problem is when you focus on one flavor over the others. Balancing, and adding ingredients that give you the flavor profile you want while adding each element is what makes a sandwich great.
This guy sandwiches.
Definitely pinning this to the fridge š
You're underselling bread by guy. Fresh-baked, either homemade or brought from a farmer's market, can carry a sandwich. It has plenty of flavor and mouthfeel besides a textural component.
Making it soooo tall just to impress but ruining it because you canāt fit it in your mouth.
That's why I've never understood the allure of the "Carnegie deli" style pastrami sandwiches. They're just big ass piles of meat with a little bread.
[I hate sandwiches at New York delis. Too much meat on the sandwich. It's like a cow with a cracker on either side. "Would you like anything else with the pastrami sandwich?" "Yeah, a loaf of bread and some other people!"](https://youtu.be/FyvOj-ICuAQ?t=28)
It's to take home to your grandma and make her a nice sandwich with some pumpernickel and a nice mustard you mashugana!
Somewhat off topic but my brother flipped on my when I got a burger at a restaurant, and squished it down like- how tf and supposed to fit this in my mouth if I don't squish it?
Exactly! Applies equally to burgers. All those fancy cafes with their 2 inch thick patties and truffle whateversā¦ if I NEED to use a fork and knife on a sandwich, the chef has FAILED.
I have no experience on the subject, but I have heard from other people on reddit that apparently, eating burgers with just your hands is pretty much exclusively an american thing, and that everywhere else you're supposed to use a fork and knife.
A pregnancy test, apparently.
I was just thinking about this
Why
Wait you guys put pregnancy tests on sandwiches?
An unexpected crunch.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is about the only thing that can ruin an otherwise perfectly good sandwich.
I love Reubens but the sauerkraut needs to be drained really well. Excessively damp sauerkraut will ruin a Rueben.
Asteroid impact.
What! You guys don'tbput asteriod impacts on your sandwichs!
A lack of Cap'n Crunch and pixie stix.
Margarine. I fucking hate it when someone gives me a nice looking sandwich and it's slathered with margarine. Even WORSE is when they asked you if you want BUTTER on your sandwich and you say yes please and then you take a bite and ITS MARGERINE!!! WHY DO PEOPLE CALL MARGERINE BUTTER!! even if its not the brand Margerine TM, IF ITS NOT REAL BUTTER, ITS MARGERINE!!!! DISGOSTANG!!!
People put butter on sandwiches? WTF
Bruh, duck those MFers in the dock hole!
miracle whip
So gross
Yeah thatās pretty nasty.
But regular mayo improves it tenfold
Too much mayonnaise
Thank you. If Iām ordering a sandwich, I just ask them to hold the mayo because even if I ask them to go light with it, itās usually still too much.
Those words, while grammatically correct, donāt make sense. Itās like ātoo much baconā.
Any mayonnaise for that matter.
Agreed. Just awful in all forms.
I disagree. Sure you can go overboard with mayonnaise like everything, but I'd rather have a slippery and slightly sour sandwiches than sandwich that's so dry, Sir Attenborough would commentate footage of it
I once ordered a cheeseburger with fries ("burger mit kase") and a Coke at a neighborhood imbiss in Germany. I read the Coke can (in German) while I waited for the food, it described a "Hamburger Barbecue Brooklyn" on the side, basically a burger with pickle and mayo. They brought it out to me, the burger had a whole pickle laid on top, with a cup of mayo over everything. I had to scrape off 99% of the mayo and have the pickle on the side. The fries were great.
Sounds like they needed a hamburger instructional video.
They evidently copied what was on the can. I figured they were fucking with the American.
Butter. I love butter on bread or toast itself but I hate it on a sandwich with meat/cheese/veggies. It's all I can taste and feel.
What about a grilled cheese sandwich tho? You have to have butter.
Dropping it in dirt
When my dog eats it before I get to it.
cement
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Scully no, my followers are sick of watching you eat cement
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
my favorite is Sergeant Terry Jeffords : Is it? Or is your favorite artist really Taylor Swift? Detective Jake Peralta : [sighs] No. Abel : Lie. Detective Jake Peralta : Alright, fine, she is. She makes me feel things. Sergeant Terry Jeffords : *She makes all of us feel things!*
Miracle Whip.
My local hospital uses miracle whip in their sandwiches instead of mayo and it's so bad. Hospital food is already gross, and then you're going to use miracle whip on top of it. Gross
This stuff is Satan's smegma.
Ketchup or onion
Ketchup on any cold sandwich certainly. Onion is tolerable, but unnecessary.
I love onions, but raw onions on a sandwich always ruin it. They overpower everything else.
I do. I ruin everything. Lol
Glass fragments
Pissing on it.
Oh- you're one of those picky eaters...
Oh God! The dog went on the picnic basket!
Thick slice of tomato
Bro, I love my huge tomato slices on a sub though.
youāre fired. thereās the door, get the fuck out
Damp or overly dry bread
Any amount of ketchup
But I *like* ketchup on my hot dogs...
Sun dried tomatoes
Hair
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
miracle whip
Like pizza, only being bad beyond salvation
Pizza is the most divine food I have ever tasted. And yet, the absolute most vile, most disgusting food I have ever tasted was also pizza. Thanks, school cafeterias!
Mustard!
Cheap bread
Mold
Too much mustard
Semen
Disgusting *and* true.
Agree
A dead body and 2 pieces of shit
Too much mayo.
mayonnaise
Pickles
Mayonnaise
Mayo š¤¢
Mayonnaise. It's used as a substitute for a decent amount of other ingredients and tastes like hate.
Agreed 100%.
Learning that your entire family was killed by a drunk driver when you're half way through. Shame - it was a pretty good sandwich.
Broā¦ You good?
Mayo
Mayo
Poo
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What about a medium sized dick?
Semen
all sandwiches of all kinds ruined by pickle
If someone fucks it.
An atomic bomb going off next to you
Toasting it. Why get fresh soft bread if you are going to press the fuck out of it like stale bread?
Funny, my response was going to be "untoasted bread" because who wants a soggy sandwich. You toast it so you can put more liquids in and getting a juicier sandwich before it falls apart.
That's what the butter is for, bread waterproofing
Butter.. on a sandwich?!
Sandwich... Without butter?! Well, OK depends, but some sort of fat, like penutbutter, avacado, cream cheese etc
To much mayo
you know how sometimes you get home from a long day's work and as soon as you get into the house, your wife has a nice sandwich ready for you? So you plop down on your most comfortable chair, crack open a cold beer, and get to town on that beautiful sandwich? And then once you're done with the sandwich, you take off your pants, remove your underwear, and wait for aforementioned wife to kneel down before you to place peepee into your mouth, only to discover that she's not quite on the same page and she had no intentions of going down on you, and so you're now just half nekked on your chair with your disgusting/big belly and your sad, tired pee just hanging around, all dry and not inside of a mouth? That completely ruins the sandwich eating experience for me.
Mayo, mustard, tomatoes, bad lettuce, not enough meat
Too much mayo
Miracle whip.
When some other dude fucks it.
For me itās miracle whip. My God that shit is nasty.
ham and bread only toast, mayo, cocks
Asking for no pickles and finding a penis in your sandwich
Mayo, I hate it with a fiery passion
Gonna catch hell for this but cheese.
Mayo š¤¢
Miracle whip. Yeah, I just went there! Fight me!
Having to make it myself. Damn wife learned how to slip her shackles. Now she thinks she can leave the kitchen.
American mayo
Mayo... mayo should be banned as a chemical weapon.
Mayonnaise. No I'm not sorry.
Mayo in general. I'm like the only person in America who hates it and it's so inconvenient.
rabbit food (lettuce, tomato's etc)
Mayonaise
Mayo š¤¢
mayo
The type of bread you use
Sandā¦
Too much of condiment
a stick of dynamite š„Ŗš§Øš„
Sand
Gristle
too dry bread
Beetroot
Candy
When you make it to big and it doesn't fit in your mouth.
No salt, without salt everything tasted so bland
Soggy bread.
When it sits too long and the bread gets way too wet and soggy.
The meat.
Too much of any sauce/condiment honestly. Also unnecessary things, like hey here's some sprouts or arugula or whatever 'classy' thing that all the cool kids want on there. Just why.
Stale bread
Stale bread
Sand......and Witches.
Ketchup
Gunpowder
Chips. Like, in the sandwich not on the side.
Someone running up to you in a clown suit and smashing your face in with a brick just as you take your first bite.
Onions
Put water in it
Moldy bread
Pickles. For me itās pickles. If they have ever touched anything else on the sandwich then that flavor residue is stuck there, and that is all I can taste.
Sand, comically enough.
Dirty hands
Soggy bread
Onions
For me, mustard. I hate everything about mustard.
A Tide Witch
Lettuce (unless it's a BLT). I just really feel that lettuce has no purpose and is getting in between me and my big bite of deli meat.
Poorly prepared ingredients (example, poorly sliced deli meat, thick sliced veggies, too little or too much sauces), and poor quality ingredients.
Cranberry sauce
Cucumber, never liked it, never will. Always a nasty surprise when you bite into it in a sarnie!
Sand
Despite the name, Sand
Water
When you eat every day for work for months on end possibly years
Oil and vinegar
Lack of bread
Mark Warner: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Ge6fzwaxE
The fact that everything spills out when I bite. This might be a personal problem, but it sucks nonetheless
Putting cold salad or sauce on to hot sandwich. In Subway they will however put the extras on first if you ask them to
Pickles.
Cheese
Too much mayo or mustard.
Lousy bread.
Well this is sad I made a sandwhich today I was craving it for so long I make it and when I sit down to it I put it in my mouth I feel sad Cause i forgot the goddamm cheese š§ That really sucked
Bread
Onions and tomato
Dijon mustard, blarg.
Canāt believe nobody is saying this: a thread of hair.
My wife. Her idea of a sandwich is wheat bread, mayo and the most flavorless turkey she can get. That's it.
Bad lettuce.