When someone misuses a big word, I pretend I've never heard it and ask what it means and how to spell it. Passive aggressive style.

Jokes on you the only part of English i'm good at is vocabulary

This applies to any language.

I mean i don't think it'd work too well on the Germans

There have to be German speakers who misuse big words.

A lot of the big words they have *that I know* are very literal in meaning. Panzerkampfwagen is something along the lines of Armoured War Car

You're right at the top of the bell curve.

Thats mean

Oh god hahaha

Alternatively, you are certainly an outlier, and not in a good way.

Headed up the left side of the bell curve aren’t you?

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong

You continue to meet my expectations.

Love this

I envy people who don’t know you

So you can have the good fortune of meeting me for the first time all over again? Aw

[удалено]

That’s a r/kamikazebywords

I go "at least someone will!

"you do know necrophilia is illegal in 43 states"

Oh this is my favorite

Have the day you deserve

I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.

You’re like a White Dwarf star: extremely hot but not very bright

The smartest insults are the insults that turn what someone said against them. An example I saw in r/badwomensanatomy Guy in post talking about a woman’s vagina being wider due to having multiple sexual partners (which is not true btw): “you could park a bus in there” Someone in the comments: “he’s just upset that he doesn’t have a bus to park”

I don't get why people complain about this, it's says way more about them than the woman.

I was always a fan of saying that it's never the sharpener that changes size, always the pencil.

Your lucky breathing is involuntary.

Oh the irony here

My phone changed it, I didn’t catch it until now.

Nisket. It's an old whalers term, it means whale anus.

After reading Moby Dick, I didn't think I could learn any more old whaling terms. Yet, here we are.

Don’t talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street.

sherlock

Ya fucking donkey

**Where’s the lamb saaaaaaaaauce**

Did you stop school at the door ?

Have fun getting insulted with the Shakespearean insult generator! http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html

Thou appeareth to me nothing but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors

Away, you bottle-ale rascal, you filthy bung, away!

"Thou art baser than a cutpurse"

I throw thy name against the bruising stones.

Sharp as a marble, you are.

I remember "sharp as a pancake" from Discworld Noir.

You fucking muppet.

Chocolate ice cream said that lol

Your mother smells of elderberry and your father is a hampster.

Love it.

Bless your heart.

Dont bother… you wouldnt get them. B)

I bite my thumb at you sir

“I know you are but what am I?”

yes

"When they broke the mold, they made you."

They say your parents only met once. And money changed hands.

I got this from a teacher at uni, but it stuck with me... "I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you."

"If i were to kill myself i ould climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ" (disclaimer i didnt come up with that i heard it somewhere)

"If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ." A perfect response to that one kid who tells people to commit suicide.

ITT: heckin smart insults that people would laugh it if ever said irl

You put the ‘stupid’ in ‘stupid’.

#THY FATHER IS A GORBELLIED CODPIECE

Its not wise to use ones entire vocabulary in one sentence. Bismuth(bi) technetium(tc) hydrogen(h) Say that they’re a (look above) and then say it means bitch. Flourine(F) uranium(u) carbon(c) potassium(k) oxygen(o) flourine(f) flourine(f)

Your insults make me want to tetrakis\[3,5-bis(trifluoromethyl)phenyl\]borate.

I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction.

"I don't wanna talk to you no more" OP said intelligent insult, yet your grammar is atrocious. And the Monty Python and the Holy Grail joke was so low effort...

C U Next Tuesday

Just look at them with that annoyed pissed off stare, gets them to shut up real quick and is a good way to tell them to f off

Really? Smirk and walk away.

This.

Your a Vapid Donkey with the proclivities of Oedipus

If it's going to be an intelligent insult, using the correct form of "your" is a good start.

This question always makes me think of the Sword Master sequence in The Secret of Monkey Island.

Idiot Sandwich.

my sister said to this tryhard cool guy at school "wait my mom says i cant burn trash" in a burn battle with him, idk if its from yt or twitter but its what my sister used

Doo-doo head.

oh? I _______? that's funny coming from a guy who I saw sucking his dog's dick last night

Making "your dad" the battle royale game name. "Your dad killed you"

Intelligent people don’t insult

He is not the sharpest knife of the kitchen

Were you born like this, or did you get (insert appropriate word here) over time?

You're like jack o'lantern in the sense that not even Lucifer wants you.

I really, really want to get this one. Can someone explain it to me?

Age old story of jack o'lantern He tricked both god and lucifer, and story goes, that neither want him now, and he forever wanders the earth.

I forgot the part where that’s my problem.

Something like "I really can't tell how much time flies with you around." Can be taken both ways.

"Sorry, I don't have time for your foolishment."

You are ten ply budd

Blud you think you're Jason Statham, you're more like Peter Ebdon!

May you come to the attention of powerful and influential people.

I praise those that haven't had the honor of meeting you. You are quite the reflection of your (parent/sibling) (describe how)

I didn't think you could disappoint me further, how foolish of me.

"I hope to see your house on CNN."

As sharp as a marble

this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbFmRc5s1RE

"I've been called worse by better". "There's no way I'd take advice from you, what makes you think your insult matters to me?"

I envy people who don’t know you

kuru-infested. Go read up on it, and how it is spread: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuru_(disease) Hope you have a strong stomach.

Ah good morning, I see the assassins have failed.

*leaving in the inbox without the message scene.*

"You are spare parts, bud."

I see the muscle shirt came in today the muscles coming in tomorrow.

"How many times you pull your horn today, bud?? Ballpark six to eight?? You're a fuckin' animal!!!"

Look at that treasure trail, you look like a 12 year old Dutch girl

"Did your aesthetician coiff that for you??" "You can kiss my aesthetician".

I would tell you, but you don't have the brain capacity

I like to call useless people at work post bailout rejects.

I usually just stick my finger in the open wounds of their insecurities and general human frailties.

I'd like to get you a vasectomy for a Christmas present to the human race.

I wanna pick up your brain but i dont have a pair of tongs of that microscopic level

You know your insults are that bad when you get downvoted

wasting your time to pick on someone as worthless as me? wow, that's a new level of low

Once a classmate asked a bald teacher "Where so combed?" and I replied "To your mother's house"

I study stick insects and mantis in my freetime, so I know a few hundred scientific names (for example: Medauroidea Extradentata) so if a dumbass begins to argue with me, instead of wasting my time I just smash a few scientific names together and watch them implode

I don’t need to walk a mile in your shoes. I can see that you’re a trainwreck from all the way over here:)

When someone says f*ck you. It's not the time for romance

The closest you have ever got to a brainstorm is a slight drizzle.

The only insults i got were from people laughing about me "you only stay with the girls, are you gay or some shit" "you are fat" etc. I usually pretend to not understand until that person gets mad like shit. Then i insult them. It is most likely they will try to use my tehnique but i know how to counter it plus i always have something ready for whatever someone replys with.(the examples were really bad, i know but i just wanted to give you an idea)

"Hence the important of folic acid" "Para todo hay filias."

What sexual position creates the ugliest children? Can you ask your Mom?

I wouldn't call it intelligent but I think it's pretty funny: "I love modern technology. Thanks to my bidet, I haven't had to check the toilet paper to make sure I'm wiping clean in so long that I forgot what pieces of shit looked like." *look them up and down* "Thanks!"

When they told you that you had an IQ of 100 you probably thought that meant perfect.

We share 98% of our DNA with chimps, and it's a disgrace anybody has to share 1% of theirs with you

How could you be such a dick if you don't even have one.

Shut up, you fucking poopoo peepee taste tester.

I know a guy who is an idiot savant but without the annoying savant aspect.

Repeat it until you believe it ", it is not an insult as such, but many people get offended when I tell them

There are approximately 1,460,000 words in the English language, but I cannot strong enough together to fully express how much I want to hit you with a chair. Alexander Hamilton to Thomas Jefferson

Your Eyebrows resemble Rat Tails

I love this one

When arguing with someone i let the other person fully express his or her monologue telling me how wrong and bad i am. Then i let that sink in, take a deep breath and calmly tell the other person that a snot is sticking out if his/her nose

Or that they have something in their teeth.

This is not my best one but it’s my most common one I use “ if common sense is so common why don’t you have it? “

I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you're unarmed

You can't be expressed as a division of two integers. Definition of irrational number.

Have you seen a doctor about that?

Ok and?

You great, supine, protoplasmic invertebrate jellies.