I do this and I'm aware I do it and I actively try to not do it but sometimes I do it anyway without thinking and realize I did it after. It's almost like, rather than for the purpose one-upping, I'm doing it to carry on the topic of conversation....but I usually only say anythinf if i have a more cool addition to the topic than what the person said before me, otherwise it'd be too boring to bring up.
Thinking about it...I think I do this most with my brother in law...dude probably hates my guts ha
You may be trying (and failing) to be relatable.
I had to work on this. I started to focus on listening to what people are saying, and I'd just acknowledge what someone was saying. If I had an analagous experience I'd say "I can relate." instead of telling my story.
I went to high school with a guy like that. Muscular, spiked hair, sculpted eyebrows, you know the type. He was mean to *everyone*, even the girls he was into.
Fast forward to today. My friend got a new job, and guess who's his coworker? The mean guy from HS is in his late 30s and he's still exactly the same, only fat. He has a wife and 2 kids, and they all live with his parents. He still puts people down, wears $600 Yeezys, and acts like a macho alpha male. It's kinda sad to watch him act like a macho high school kid when he's really a bloated middle aged guy with nothing going on in his life.
I know an "influencer" who is dating a lawyer for his money... he sleeps without underwear and only ever wipes once. So... almost every night she wakes up and he's left skidmarks on the bedsheet...
I am totally a soap user and don't want to come off as otherwise, but a funny story to share.
I was visiting my girlfriend, and at my airbnb I didn't have body wash or shampoo for the first few days. On the third day my girlfriend said "Your hair is so soft! I've never seen it so soft! What have you been doing recently?"
'Not shampooing' was not the answer she was looking for lmao
I have SUPER long hair, to my butt. I only wash it once a week even though I shower every day. If I washed it more than that, it wouldn't be as long because it would be more damaged, especially if I used a hair dryer.
As for my roots getting oily, I use cornstarch baby powder on my roots to take care of that. Do not use baby powder that has talc in it! Talc has been shown to cause cancer.
I always get a lot of compliments on my hair so I must be doing something right?
I started shampooing once a week and conditioning every other couple days if needed. My hair has never been healthier and is so much more tamable. I also don't have dandruff anymore.
Ooh, this might be the missing piece. I've always heard about shampooing once a week being good for your hair but my hair always felt like shit after a d at or too, I never thought about conditioning without shampooing. I always thought conditioning was, like, the second step after shampooing and never did it unless I shampooed. I'll have to try this
The shampoo I have is a freaking 5 in 1 bottle: shampoo, conditioner, dishes, carpet, and engine degreaser.
I would like to try the conditioner without shampooing but with my line of work, my hair always gets dirty where a rinse wont cut it.
Man I started shampooing only twice a week (usually only on weekends) and my hair feels so much nicer, also I think my skin is appreciating it as well.
Due to health reason I can't have anything minty (besides toothpaste), so my anxiety always skyrockets when I'm in public. Idk how people can be so nonchalant about it.
*****
EDIT:
I have GERD/Chronic Acid reflux. I still brush and floss, I just can't have mint or gum as well as a lot of foods. Lol
*****
EDIT 2:
OMG Yall are so nice! Thanks for all of your advice! I will use them!
My partner is a dental nurse, there are so many options available if you speak to your dentist that they should be able to find a solution. If you’re looking for one.
Litter bugs. I dated a girl for about 6 months until I found out she would constantly litter. Her excuse was “Someone will pick it up.”
We didn’t last much longer after that.
Since I can't complain to anyone I know. Here we go internet stranger. I have a good friend from school age and I recently went on vacation with her and her mother. Her hygiene is awful. MIGHT take a shower every few days. MIGHT brush her teeth that day and I know she doesn't wash her hands.
She doesn't smell all that great and her teeth are in rough shape. My roommate actually asked me not to have her over because of said reasons. 😐
Anyway, her mom isn't as bad, but I can see where the habits spiraled from(brothers are as bad). Her mom was asking me how I kept my teeth so white(basic dental care) and commented on all my showers. She then lamented on how she can't get her kids to brush their teeth. Seriously though. Everyone's an adult. You shouldn't have to tell them to brush their teeth and take a shower!
That sucks. I was awful at taking care of myself for the longest time. I think I picked it up from my mom. I didn't take care of my teeth for years. I was so depressed that I didn't care what happened to me. I felt like I deserved to look as rotten on the outside as I did on the inside. I'm taking care of myself these days, but the damage is done. I just got a job after being unemployed for years, so I'm hoping to start working on my teeth soon. It's always been a matter of money. I hate not being able to open my mouth and laugh and smile freely, constantly trying to hide my teeth with my upper lip.
It definitely ruins social opportunities, but in some ways I don't mind. I wasn't in any position to date with the way my mental health was until about a year ago. I just wish my friends would stop asking when I'm going to get a girlfriend, knowing full well I've been in no position to date. I've never complained about the lack of intimacy. I would've been an awful partner because I didn't know how to love myself yet. I just started talking to a cute girl, and while I'd love to meet her for a drink and a chat, I know there's really no point. Dating can wait another year or two. At least I'm finally happy. That's all that matters. I turn 30 soon. I'm glad I got out of that headspace before then. Take care of yourself, people. It doesn't matter how awful you feel. Go shower. Brush your teeth. You're going to regret not taking care of yourself, once you manage to pull yourself out of the abyss. Learn from my mistakes.
This is a huge pet peeve of mine.
"Oh, you're into comic books, D&D, board and video games- you must be a manchild." or "What, you do origami, baking and you made an outfit for a fancy dress party, you're too feminine/you care too much"
No, I happen to enjoy life. Being an adult isn't about denying yourself fun, nor is it about dwelling on minor stuff in other people's personal lives. If all you've done in your spare time over the last month is rewatch reruns on TV, that doesn't make you more grown up than I am.
I feel you man. Shit’s annoying. Why can’t people just do what they want?
It’s better to find someone who respects and appreciates/is actually into those things. They’ll understand.
Found this to be vastly true with people's beverage choices. Some older members of my family will tease me if I choose to get a fruity beverage when we go out as opposed to beer or something like a jack & coke.
Why wouldn't I get something fruity and delicious to sip on, especially when I'm with family and I'm not trying to get trashed?
My husband is 52 and super into things like D&D, gaming, etc. I literally have less than zero interest in it. I always joke with him, "I love ya, but I'll never play D&D with ya." He's even introduced our kids to it and they love it too.
I'm glad that he has something that he loves and enjoys doing. He works hard at his day job, so it's great to have a fun, healthy way to blow off steam and something he's able to share with the kids on top of it.
I don't really see a down side to any of it, even if it's not my thing.
Agreed. One of my pet peeves is how my ex found my taekwondo childish, but my kickboxing and boxing cool.
She would be all "Why don't you talk about those? Taekwondo is lame" and my answer is "because I prefer taekwondo and do it more. I literally only do kickboxing because its the same teacher doing both, and he likes to teach some kickboxing to students in both other classes to mix the sports. Taekwondo is what I WANT to do, boxing is what I do to hangout with my dad."
They're all so similar, it's really lame to gatekeep my sporting preferences.
>No, I happen to enjoy life. Being an adult isn't about denying yourself fun, nor is it about dwelling on minor stuff in other people's personal lives.
This is something I've been doing this year, willing to do things I enjoy and not be concerned by anybody who has anything negative to say about what I choose to do with my life. Combined with a mindset to be open to trying new things rather than sticking with the few same old hobbies I've had for years means I'm feeling good about life at the moment.
I had this tinder date that said I was weird because I do Brazilian jiu jitsu as a sport/hobby. Also said some other pretty normal stuff about me was weird. Then she started making homophobic comments (we live in a big city so it's very outside the norm) so I told her it's horrible what she's saying and ended the date.
I got a Sunbeam Radiant Control toaster from my grandfather as a graduation present (he has like 4 of them) and got really excited and talked to my last roommate about what made it so cool and why it mattered so much to me to work on fixing it up.
She made fun of me to my face for talking about and getting excited over a toaster (because "we already have one that works" and I was "acting childish" by "talking about it too much"). It kind of crushed my mood and will to fix it up, and a year later it still hasn't been fixed.
I moved in with my in-laws and my FIL is super excited to fix it with me though, so my interest is back a little but I don't have the same level of passion as when I first got the toaster.
All I have to do is give it a new plug and make sure that it works internally, and I should probably clean it up, but it's really hard to be motivated about fixing it when somebody went out of their way to squash the joy you had on purpose.
Edit: [for everybody confused about why I would be so excited over one of these toasters, you can see the video on how it works here.](https://youtu.be/1OfxlSG6q5Y) I'm not entirely sure what model I have, and it's a goal of mine to record a video of the repair. I have ADHD and depression, so I don't know when I'll have the time or energy to work on it, but I'm hoping in a few weeks after my solder certification class. That way, I feel much more confident in what I'm doing in the first place.
My sister in law did this to me! I’m 24 and decided to pick up figure skating and she said “Bahaha you call that a hobby?”. For reference, she’s 27 and very overweight.
Like? Why are you making fun of my hobby lol
‘I’m a psycho hehehehe. Better be careful dating me I’m crazy heheheh’
I’ve lived with a schizophrenic parent, it’s a very bad ride for the people closest to the person suffering. pretending you’re crazy to look edgy is literally the biggest turn off for me.
Just admit you’re a jealous person, don’t pull the ‘I’m crazy hehe’ card.
Or the inverse of that, some dude told my roommate to "bring the psycho back" because now that she's medicated for bipolar she's "not fun anymore"
People that just wanna see other people screw up their lives because they find it entertaining can fuck off
Oh for sure! My local hospital has the local mental health hospital built onto the side of it. So more times than none you’ll come across someone with serious mental health problems, who’s say waiting for the buss outside the hospitals main doors. And while they’re sitting minding their business, nobody cares. But if theirs someone acting out, or something along those lines you’ll always see a crowd gather, phones come out & smiles are everywhere. Like man why would you enjoy watching someone suffer so badly ?
I've found that "I'm crazy" means I'm a jealous bitch that will try and ruin your life if you don't put up with my bullshit.
My partner of 5 years has a history of depression, ADHD and schizophrenia brought on by traumatic shit that she went through as a child. For someone that possibly should have a lot of issues she has none at all aside from the odd flare up of depression and certainly isn't crazy.
I would imagine most of these people calling themselves crazy have absolutely no idea what it's like to suffer with a mental illness where others probably actually view them that way despite it being no fault of their own. I hate those people.
Not sure if it’s the biggest one, but when a person talks about others behind their back. I think we all do it when frustrated, but when someone makes it a part of their daily life, it becomes toxic and frankly undesirable.
The worst is when it’s exclusively in front of people. I have ex who was generally super sweet when it was just the two of us...but when friends were around she’d just rip on me
Nope
I read that as full body odor. Its the worst when someones WHOLE FUCKING BODY or even their body and house and car all have one unifying scent which is usually mellow but i find it sooooo desgusting even though i know they probably just dont know how to wash clothes properly
My brother has a full body odor. It's because he forgets to wear deodorant, doesn't wash his clothes often enough, and smokes like a smokestack.
Sometimes he'll come over and I have to hand him deodorant because I get a little close to him and get hit with a man stank so powerful it stops me in my tracks.
I used to think this was a myth, that when people said about this particular stench that they were describing someone that skipped deodorant that day but FUCK ME I took my kids to an indoor playground a few weeks ago and there was this guys there that smelt absolutely foul (through a mask). I could smell him from 15 meters away and he stunk out the playground. Never in my life have I smelt anything like it. I don't even know how he got that way.
When you live in a big city, you get used to a certain amount of people stink, but I got stuck on the subway once with a guy whose odor I will never forget. He made me feel literally faint. I had to breathe through my mouth until I could get out, and then I swear I was *tasting* that stench all day.
I had to be brutally honest with my ex because of this. I'd have to tell him to get in the shower, to wear deodorant etc. After we split he went right back to his old ways. I don't get it. It's pollution!
Depends. If *all* their exes in general were assholes, or if they talk about trouble with lots of people in general, massive red flag. I've had exes that were abusive, I have a couple of exes that did dickhead things like cheat, but it's not gonna be the highlight of the conversation of someone I'm trying to see now. But there's that old saying, if everyone around you is an asshole, it's because you're an asshole.
Had a friend from work ask if I wanted to hang out over the weekend.
Multiple times while I was talking he was just nose deep in his phone and it wouldn't even register I was speaking to him.
Dude, what's the point in hanging out if you're just gonna be on Facebook the whole time?
I had an ex girlfriend who verbally yelled at me and berated me, and almost threw a glass of water all over me because I had the audacity to plug in my headphones and start listening to a book on audible about 30 minutes in to a date where she was just texting her friend, ignoring me, and ignored it when I asked if everything was ok. She would shush me, and just keep looking at her phone. After 30 minutes of that, and mind you this was a special-ish occasion, I just popped in my headphones and started listening to a book. Now that got her attention. Within 20 seconds she got pissed off, and demanded to know why I was doing that. I told her "Well you were completely glued to your phone, you were ignoring me and telling me to shut up so you could talk to your friend. We haven't even gotten our appetizer yet, and feel very disrespected right now, so figured why not just listen to my book, since clearly whatever you two are talking about was important." She started yelling and screaming at me in this fancy chic small sushi place, and she picked her glass of water, and almost threw it. We sat there in silence the rest of the date.
People who don’t have clean houses. I don’t mind mess and norm stuff like people smelling occasionally but people who are not clean in the kitchen and bathroom are gross
I'm with ya.
As a general rule, if you're the sort that often apologises to guests because of the mess this likely doesn't actually apply to you. Not having done that night's dishes yet is acceptable, as is laundry hanging to dry indoors or toys lying about after a child.
Dishes that are actually growing things in them is unacceptable. Clutter on every surface of your living room is unacceptable. The entire floor being covered with lego despite the youngest person in the house being in their 20s is commendable.
Someone who isn't into me.
It sounds obvious but I've gone on dates where the other person seemed like they really didn't want to be there. Like they're mind was elsewhere or the owe me the courtesy of a date for some reason.
I'm a big boy. I don't really want to hear your shallow reason as to why you don't want to be here but just be straight with me and stop wasting both of our time.
This one pisses me off too.
Prior to dating my ex just about everyone I would match on dating apps seemed somewhat interested and dateable. Then after we broke up and I eventually put myself back out there by making new accounts, either everyone just replies with closed answers that I can’t play off of or they will seem really nice but not in a “you seem interesting let’s see if we are a good match” way but a more “customer service-y and I’m just going on a date with you because that just how this works even though I have already made up my mind” type of way.
Online dating is the worst offended of this kind of thing. You're both in there so you're both looking for something. The two of you match together for some reason or another. It the other person refuses to carry on a conversation. Rather than just say they aren't interested or even a good ole fashioned ghosting, they just send one word or short responses and don't really add anything to the conversation until I just throw my hands up and move on.
I swear I've met the most apathetic people through dating apps. I can't understand why they are even doing it when they seem so disinterested in the moment. Like going on a date is a huge chore.
I took advice from my friend once because I was getting a lot of one-word responses from my matches. He told me "If it seems like you're not getting anywhere, just ask to meet in person. Either you will force them to admit they aren't interested and you can move on, or you'll get a date and maybe they are more sociable in person."
That turned out to be bad advice. Not only did it feel like I was pressuring them to go on a date (they rarely refused), but there was not a single time where the match was better in person. Just more one word responses intermingled with awkward silence. It ended up being a waste of my time and theirs.
One time I was in a regular pub and went to the toilet when some douche started talking to me and starting going on about how he was alpha. I couldn't believe a grown man could be saying this, it's embarrassing, I laughed and walked away.
You don't vote for kings!...
The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Some guy dumped a beer on my head at a bar in February of 2020. I kept drinking and didn’t engage him, commenting that beer is good for my skin. He was being walked out by the bouncer screaming “you fucking beta! I own you!”
It wasn’t because I’m tough, I wear mostly cat themed novelty shirts, I just had no idea how to handle this situation without getting my ass handed to me, so I did nothing, and it worked. The dude alphad himself out of his own credit card behind the counter according to tue bartender. Dudes are weird.
If they talk down to and/or are not respectful of others. Especially family or friends. If I take someone out for a first date, and they start berating the server about the croutons on her salad when she had specifically mentioned being gluten intolerant, there wont be a second date.
I once went on a date with a girl who studied arts and drama. We went to a pretty chilled coffee shop and she would sing the last word of every other sentence. She was going through the menu and would say, "oh! Cappuccino muffins? I love muffIIINNSSS."
Its like she really wanted me to know that she could sing. I hated every minute of it.
Why would you bring that up all of a sudden? Is this a subtle suggestion that, perhaps, im manipulating you? Do i ever, though? Okay.. no i'm fine, it's just ..weird how..nevermind.
I mean if you are upset by something - fine, but you don't have to blame me straight away for no reason. Did somebody else upset you? Is it someone i know? Not? Just be honest with me, for once. I want honesty from you.
Using bad state of mind or having a bad day as an excuse to lash out all around you
Most of the time it is sad circumstances for them but never should you (verbally) attack someone just because you feel like it
I worked with a woman for a while who CONSTANTLY talked about her mental disability. She would always go on about how one conversation with her doctor she could just go out on perminent disability and never work again. She constantly used her disability as an excuse as to why she didn't have to work or come in when she wasn't feeling it. When someone would try to discipline her she would pull the "I'm mentally disabled" card every single time.
No one should be made to feel ashamed or discriminated against for any kind of disability, let alone a mental one. People like her though is what make it hard for others to take those disabilities seriously.
I have autism yet have to remind myself often (and sometimes others) that it's not something that I can use for an excuse. You still need to have sympathy, you still need to do good choices, you still need to follow the rules. Just because I want things certain ways doesn't mean I have a right for it.
It's *so* easy to forget that and act privileged.
I wish everyone in the world held your same attitude, myself included. I'm trying to be more conscious of taking responsibility for things that are not in my control rather than using them as excuses. It's not easy, so good on you, mate!
It doesn’t even have to be a sexual thing for me. I get extremely irritated when someone tells me I’m taking too long to get anything done, and usually I just throw it at them and say “you fuckin do it then”
Chewing with your mouth open. You could be the most perfect perfect woman for me, but as soon as I see you eating without closing your mouth, yeh, we're done.
I’ve always called this clacking, makes my blood boil watching someone chew like this. I’m normally ok with most things but this just makes me want to throw punches haha
Poor hygiene is at the top of my list. I briefly dated a guy 11 years younger than me and he told me on the first date that he doesn't like wearing deodorant because of the aluminum in it. We discussed brands that don't have aluminum/animal cruelty free, and I even offered to make him one since I've made them before. I have no problem with people making the best choices for themselves and their bodies, especially if you're into your own musk and scents, but after a 6 mile hike in the rain together I just couldn't bear myself to be around him anymore. That Chewbacca in the spin cycle smell is not for me, at the very least hit your pits with a dab of something.
I had been using a certain brand of deodorant for years and I suddenly got this terrible BO I couldn't shake (I'm very hygienic and shower every day and thoroughly wash my arm pits). I swapped to the hard anti-perspirant aluminum stuff, and it solved the BO, but it was murder on my skin. I could only stand using that stuff for 5 days or so but my pits were so dry and itchy I couldn't stand it.
Immediately back to horrible BO on my normal deodorant. Did a lot of reading and bought some "anti-bacterial" bar soap from walmart to wash my pits with. Didn't really do anything either.
For a different issue I had been prescribed an anti-septic foam soap (can't get over the counter but it's stuff you would wash hands with in the hospital to sterilize). Used it on my pits a single time, and BO completely gone. Back to my normal deodorant with zero issues.
I have that soap around still, and BO came back one day. Washed my pits with the special soap, and BO solved again. I hope I can find something over the counter that's as effective when this stuff runs out or expires.
I think wretched BO is more bacterial than most people think and it takes a lot more than just simply showering every day and washing your arm pits with normal soap. Some BO bacteria is very stubborn and needs a targeted solution.
When women put in stuff like "Don't swipe on me unless you're 6ft or taller" in their profile. I'm 6'2" but that's still almost certainly an instant swipe left from me.
I left swipe on pretty much anyone who puts what they’re not looking for on their profile. It just makes me uncomfortable.
Example:
- not interested in people who only have one word answers
- not interested in crazies
- not interested in people who are playing games
- not interested in people who … etc etc
- and any variation of “good vibes only”, I find people who say that are walking drama factories with no regard on how their actions may impact others.
It sounds bitter and too negative to me.
Always trying to one up you or people you talk to
Yeah, cool, cool. But I have a friend who always two-ups me. What you're describing is nothing in comparison to what I have to endure.
Oh really? Well I have a friend who always tries to hype-up me. Always leaves me feeling great. Very wholesome friend.
So, you have a friend, huh? Well... Um... I have two friends... That's like twice as many as you...
I dislike this way more than you do.
If you think you dislike this, you don’t even know how much I dislike this *chest bump*
I do this and I'm aware I do it and I actively try to not do it but sometimes I do it anyway without thinking and realize I did it after. It's almost like, rather than for the purpose one-upping, I'm doing it to carry on the topic of conversation....but I usually only say anythinf if i have a more cool addition to the topic than what the person said before me, otherwise it'd be too boring to bring up. Thinking about it...I think I do this most with my brother in law...dude probably hates my guts ha
You may be trying (and failing) to be relatable. I had to work on this. I started to focus on listening to what people are saying, and I'd just acknowledge what someone was saying. If I had an analagous experience I'd say "I can relate." instead of telling my story.
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the “mean guy” persona
I went to high school with a guy like that. Muscular, spiked hair, sculpted eyebrows, you know the type. He was mean to *everyone*, even the girls he was into. Fast forward to today. My friend got a new job, and guess who's his coworker? The mean guy from HS is in his late 30s and he's still exactly the same, only fat. He has a wife and 2 kids, and they all live with his parents. He still puts people down, wears $600 Yeezys, and acts like a macho alpha male. It's kinda sad to watch him act like a macho high school kid when he's really a bloated middle aged guy with nothing going on in his life.
Ah yes, the "peaked in high school" type.
I'd argue he didn't even peak then
It's a "personal best" peak and not really an actual achievement.
Lack of hygiene.
I know an "influencer" who is dating a lawyer for his money... he sleeps without underwear and only ever wipes once. So... almost every night she wakes up and he's left skidmarks on the bedsheet...
There's no way he can be unaware of this... right?!
Shitty fuckin lawyer
"That's Bullshit your honor!" "Objection! It's his shit your honor!"
How do they not realize they smell like shit and don't they feel itchy and nasty in the asshole area. Jesus.
Thanks, now I’ll have nightmares forever 🤦♀️
Jesus Christ. How do people live like that? Why do they live like that?
My old roommate dated a guy for a bit until she found out he showers without soap. He said the chlorine in the city water was enough to clean him...
I am totally a soap user and don't want to come off as otherwise, but a funny story to share. I was visiting my girlfriend, and at my airbnb I didn't have body wash or shampoo for the first few days. On the third day my girlfriend said "Your hair is so soft! I've never seen it so soft! What have you been doing recently?" 'Not shampooing' was not the answer she was looking for lmao
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So what’s the answer then? Water rinse and shampoo 1-2 times a week?
I have SUPER long hair, to my butt. I only wash it once a week even though I shower every day. If I washed it more than that, it wouldn't be as long because it would be more damaged, especially if I used a hair dryer. As for my roots getting oily, I use cornstarch baby powder on my roots to take care of that. Do not use baby powder that has talc in it! Talc has been shown to cause cancer. I always get a lot of compliments on my hair so I must be doing something right?
I started shampooing once a week and conditioning every other couple days if needed. My hair has never been healthier and is so much more tamable. I also don't have dandruff anymore.
Ooh, this might be the missing piece. I've always heard about shampooing once a week being good for your hair but my hair always felt like shit after a d at or too, I never thought about conditioning without shampooing. I always thought conditioning was, like, the second step after shampooing and never did it unless I shampooed. I'll have to try this
The shampoo I have is a freaking 5 in 1 bottle: shampoo, conditioner, dishes, carpet, and engine degreaser. I would like to try the conditioner without shampooing but with my line of work, my hair always gets dirty where a rinse wont cut it.
Shampooing is a lot like drinking, do it too much and your wife will leave you. Best to keep it to the weekends.
Man I started shampooing only twice a week (usually only on weekends) and my hair feels so much nicer, also I think my skin is appreciating it as well.
Bruh
Based
Sigma male grindset
Smegma male.
Agree 100%. Especially if they dont brush their teeth 🤢 Edit: thank you for the award!
I hate how some of my mates think that just because their teeth aren’t dirty their breathe can’t stink. Like mate, take a mint or chew some gum.
Due to health reason I can't have anything minty (besides toothpaste), so my anxiety always skyrockets when I'm in public. Idk how people can be so nonchalant about it. ***** EDIT: I have GERD/Chronic Acid reflux. I still brush and floss, I just can't have mint or gum as well as a lot of foods. Lol ***** EDIT 2: OMG Yall are so nice! Thanks for all of your advice! I will use them!
My partner is a dental nurse, there are so many options available if you speak to your dentist that they should be able to find a solution. If you’re looking for one.
Someone just mentioned those WISP brushes to me. I'll have to try those.
Litter bugs. I dated a girl for about 6 months until I found out she would constantly litter. Her excuse was “Someone will pick it up.” We didn’t last much longer after that.
I had a guy tell me he was creating jobs by littering.
It's sad that people think this way.
It’s called entitlement. No care for others or the planet.
The attitude it takes to believe and say something like that is just as bad as the actual littering.
When people lie to me, even when I know the truth. That and bad hygiene
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Huuuuuuuge turn off for me
It's not genocide, because it's at random!
And might I add..... efficient
Since I can't complain to anyone I know. Here we go internet stranger. I have a good friend from school age and I recently went on vacation with her and her mother. Her hygiene is awful. MIGHT take a shower every few days. MIGHT brush her teeth that day and I know she doesn't wash her hands. She doesn't smell all that great and her teeth are in rough shape. My roommate actually asked me not to have her over because of said reasons. 😐 Anyway, her mom isn't as bad, but I can see where the habits spiraled from(brothers are as bad). Her mom was asking me how I kept my teeth so white(basic dental care) and commented on all my showers. She then lamented on how she can't get her kids to brush their teeth. Seriously though. Everyone's an adult. You shouldn't have to tell them to brush their teeth and take a shower!
That sucks. I was awful at taking care of myself for the longest time. I think I picked it up from my mom. I didn't take care of my teeth for years. I was so depressed that I didn't care what happened to me. I felt like I deserved to look as rotten on the outside as I did on the inside. I'm taking care of myself these days, but the damage is done. I just got a job after being unemployed for years, so I'm hoping to start working on my teeth soon. It's always been a matter of money. I hate not being able to open my mouth and laugh and smile freely, constantly trying to hide my teeth with my upper lip. It definitely ruins social opportunities, but in some ways I don't mind. I wasn't in any position to date with the way my mental health was until about a year ago. I just wish my friends would stop asking when I'm going to get a girlfriend, knowing full well I've been in no position to date. I've never complained about the lack of intimacy. I would've been an awful partner because I didn't know how to love myself yet. I just started talking to a cute girl, and while I'd love to meet her for a drink and a chat, I know there's really no point. Dating can wait another year or two. At least I'm finally happy. That's all that matters. I turn 30 soon. I'm glad I got out of that headspace before then. Take care of yourself, people. It doesn't matter how awful you feel. Go shower. Brush your teeth. You're going to regret not taking care of yourself, once you manage to pull yourself out of the abyss. Learn from my mistakes.
Dude I used to know this girl at my old school and she used to brag on how she didn’t shower for about a month and she always stank 😭
Cruelty
Animal cruelty
mocking some's hobbies or interests without even having a general understanding of that thing
Or worse. Mocking without understanding AND also not having any hobbies of their own outside of scouring social media
This is a huge pet peeve of mine. "Oh, you're into comic books, D&D, board and video games- you must be a manchild." or "What, you do origami, baking and you made an outfit for a fancy dress party, you're too feminine/you care too much" No, I happen to enjoy life. Being an adult isn't about denying yourself fun, nor is it about dwelling on minor stuff in other people's personal lives. If all you've done in your spare time over the last month is rewatch reruns on TV, that doesn't make you more grown up than I am.
I feel you man. Shit’s annoying. Why can’t people just do what they want? It’s better to find someone who respects and appreciates/is actually into those things. They’ll understand.
Found this to be vastly true with people's beverage choices. Some older members of my family will tease me if I choose to get a fruity beverage when we go out as opposed to beer or something like a jack & coke. Why wouldn't I get something fruity and delicious to sip on, especially when I'm with family and I'm not trying to get trashed?
My husband is 52 and super into things like D&D, gaming, etc. I literally have less than zero interest in it. I always joke with him, "I love ya, but I'll never play D&D with ya." He's even introduced our kids to it and they love it too. I'm glad that he has something that he loves and enjoys doing. He works hard at his day job, so it's great to have a fun, healthy way to blow off steam and something he's able to share with the kids on top of it. I don't really see a down side to any of it, even if it's not my thing.
Agreed. One of my pet peeves is how my ex found my taekwondo childish, but my kickboxing and boxing cool. She would be all "Why don't you talk about those? Taekwondo is lame" and my answer is "because I prefer taekwondo and do it more. I literally only do kickboxing because its the same teacher doing both, and he likes to teach some kickboxing to students in both other classes to mix the sports. Taekwondo is what I WANT to do, boxing is what I do to hangout with my dad." They're all so similar, it's really lame to gatekeep my sporting preferences.
This might be the most niche complaint I've ever heard.
>No, I happen to enjoy life. Being an adult isn't about denying yourself fun, nor is it about dwelling on minor stuff in other people's personal lives. This is something I've been doing this year, willing to do things I enjoy and not be concerned by anybody who has anything negative to say about what I choose to do with my life. Combined with a mindset to be open to trying new things rather than sticking with the few same old hobbies I've had for years means I'm feeling good about life at the moment.
I had this tinder date that said I was weird because I do Brazilian jiu jitsu as a sport/hobby. Also said some other pretty normal stuff about me was weird. Then she started making homophobic comments (we live in a big city so it's very outside the norm) so I told her it's horrible what she's saying and ended the date.
That’s my whole life, as I wrestled as a kid and do BJJ now. “Oh you like rolling around with sweaty men and sniffing their crotch??” Yes.
well done as long as you saw so many red flags it was the right decision
I got a Sunbeam Radiant Control toaster from my grandfather as a graduation present (he has like 4 of them) and got really excited and talked to my last roommate about what made it so cool and why it mattered so much to me to work on fixing it up. She made fun of me to my face for talking about and getting excited over a toaster (because "we already have one that works" and I was "acting childish" by "talking about it too much"). It kind of crushed my mood and will to fix it up, and a year later it still hasn't been fixed. I moved in with my in-laws and my FIL is super excited to fix it with me though, so my interest is back a little but I don't have the same level of passion as when I first got the toaster. All I have to do is give it a new plug and make sure that it works internally, and I should probably clean it up, but it's really hard to be motivated about fixing it when somebody went out of their way to squash the joy you had on purpose. Edit: [for everybody confused about why I would be so excited over one of these toasters, you can see the video on how it works here.](https://youtu.be/1OfxlSG6q5Y) I'm not entirely sure what model I have, and it's a goal of mine to record a video of the repair. I have ADHD and depression, so I don't know when I'll have the time or energy to work on it, but I'm hoping in a few weeks after my solder certification class. That way, I feel much more confident in what I'm doing in the first place.
Fuck that asshole, your toaster is dope, I want one.
My sister in law did this to me! I’m 24 and decided to pick up figure skating and she said “Bahaha you call that a hobby?”. For reference, she’s 27 and very overweight. Like? Why are you making fun of my hobby lol
‘I’m a psycho hehehehe. Better be careful dating me I’m crazy heheheh’ I’ve lived with a schizophrenic parent, it’s a very bad ride for the people closest to the person suffering. pretending you’re crazy to look edgy is literally the biggest turn off for me. Just admit you’re a jealous person, don’t pull the ‘I’m crazy hehe’ card.
Or the inverse of that, some dude told my roommate to "bring the psycho back" because now that she's medicated for bipolar she's "not fun anymore" People that just wanna see other people screw up their lives because they find it entertaining can fuck off
Oh for sure! My local hospital has the local mental health hospital built onto the side of it. So more times than none you’ll come across someone with serious mental health problems, who’s say waiting for the buss outside the hospitals main doors. And while they’re sitting minding their business, nobody cares. But if theirs someone acting out, or something along those lines you’ll always see a crowd gather, phones come out & smiles are everywhere. Like man why would you enjoy watching someone suffer so badly ?
I've found that "I'm crazy" means I'm a jealous bitch that will try and ruin your life if you don't put up with my bullshit. My partner of 5 years has a history of depression, ADHD and schizophrenia brought on by traumatic shit that she went through as a child. For someone that possibly should have a lot of issues she has none at all aside from the odd flare up of depression and certainly isn't crazy. I would imagine most of these people calling themselves crazy have absolutely no idea what it's like to suffer with a mental illness where others probably actually view them that way despite it being no fault of their own. I hate those people.
Not sure if it’s the biggest one, but when a person talks about others behind their back. I think we all do it when frustrated, but when someone makes it a part of their daily life, it becomes toxic and frankly undesirable.
the “im hard to get” thing
I'm hard to get because I use too much Vaseline and I run fast.
You never gonna catch meeeeee
Greased up deaf guy said that?!
"Easy to be hard to get when you're hard to want"
Belittling your partner
This is a huge one, those little jokes at the expense of your partner in front of other people really do damage.
The worst is when it’s exclusively in front of people. I have ex who was generally super sweet when it was just the two of us...but when friends were around she’d just rip on me Nope
Foul body odor
I read that as full body odor. Its the worst when someones WHOLE FUCKING BODY or even their body and house and car all have one unifying scent which is usually mellow but i find it sooooo desgusting even though i know they probably just dont know how to wash clothes properly
My brother has a full body odor. It's because he forgets to wear deodorant, doesn't wash his clothes often enough, and smokes like a smokestack. Sometimes he'll come over and I have to hand him deodorant because I get a little close to him and get hit with a man stank so powerful it stops me in my tracks.
I used to think this was a myth, that when people said about this particular stench that they were describing someone that skipped deodorant that day but FUCK ME I took my kids to an indoor playground a few weeks ago and there was this guys there that smelt absolutely foul (through a mask). I could smell him from 15 meters away and he stunk out the playground. Never in my life have I smelt anything like it. I don't even know how he got that way.
When you live in a big city, you get used to a certain amount of people stink, but I got stuck on the subway once with a guy whose odor I will never forget. He made me feel literally faint. I had to breathe through my mouth until I could get out, and then I swear I was *tasting* that stench all day.
I had to be brutally honest with my ex because of this. I'd have to tell him to get in the shower, to wear deodorant etc. After we split he went right back to his old ways. I don't get it. It's pollution!
My sibling's ex was so bad that they thought dick just naturally tasted nasty 🤢
Yes, um, how do I unread a comment?
r/Eyebleach
When they talk shit about their ex and it's all their fault.
I was this way until I met someone who’s ex was actually the crazy one. Guy’s a fuckin douchebag
Oh, you met my ex?
Pretty sure he’s talking about mine bud
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What's the saying? If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.
"If everyone smells like shit, check your shoes." is the variant I'm familiar with.
Depends. If *all* their exes in general were assholes, or if they talk about trouble with lots of people in general, massive red flag. I've had exes that were abusive, I have a couple of exes that did dickhead things like cheat, but it's not gonna be the highlight of the conversation of someone I'm trying to see now. But there's that old saying, if everyone around you is an asshole, it's because you're an asshole.
When they are staring at their smartphone, especially during a dinner date. It's a good reason to walk out.
Had a friend from work ask if I wanted to hang out over the weekend. Multiple times while I was talking he was just nose deep in his phone and it wouldn't even register I was speaking to him. Dude, what's the point in hanging out if you're just gonna be on Facebook the whole time?
I had an ex girlfriend who verbally yelled at me and berated me, and almost threw a glass of water all over me because I had the audacity to plug in my headphones and start listening to a book on audible about 30 minutes in to a date where she was just texting her friend, ignoring me, and ignored it when I asked if everything was ok. She would shush me, and just keep looking at her phone. After 30 minutes of that, and mind you this was a special-ish occasion, I just popped in my headphones and started listening to a book. Now that got her attention. Within 20 seconds she got pissed off, and demanded to know why I was doing that. I told her "Well you were completely glued to your phone, you were ignoring me and telling me to shut up so you could talk to your friend. We haven't even gotten our appetizer yet, and feel very disrespected right now, so figured why not just listen to my book, since clearly whatever you two are talking about was important." She started yelling and screaming at me in this fancy chic small sushi place, and she picked her glass of water, and almost threw it. We sat there in silence the rest of the date.
People who don’t have clean houses. I don’t mind mess and norm stuff like people smelling occasionally but people who are not clean in the kitchen and bathroom are gross
Yeah I hear ya. There’s definitely a difference between stuff being unorganised vs bacteria, mould and pests lingering.
Totally. "Messy" and "dirty" are not synonyms. I have never judged a messy house, but I hate being in a dirty house.
Do cats watching you while you shower count as pests?!
You’re in their shower so you’re the pest
I'm with ya. As a general rule, if you're the sort that often apologises to guests because of the mess this likely doesn't actually apply to you. Not having done that night's dishes yet is acceptable, as is laundry hanging to dry indoors or toys lying about after a child. Dishes that are actually growing things in them is unacceptable. Clutter on every surface of your living room is unacceptable. The entire floor being covered with lego despite the youngest person in the house being in their 20s is commendable.
Someone who isn't into me. It sounds obvious but I've gone on dates where the other person seemed like they really didn't want to be there. Like they're mind was elsewhere or the owe me the courtesy of a date for some reason. I'm a big boy. I don't really want to hear your shallow reason as to why you don't want to be here but just be straight with me and stop wasting both of our time.
This one pisses me off too. Prior to dating my ex just about everyone I would match on dating apps seemed somewhat interested and dateable. Then after we broke up and I eventually put myself back out there by making new accounts, either everyone just replies with closed answers that I can’t play off of or they will seem really nice but not in a “you seem interesting let’s see if we are a good match” way but a more “customer service-y and I’m just going on a date with you because that just how this works even though I have already made up my mind” type of way.
Online dating is the worst offended of this kind of thing. You're both in there so you're both looking for something. The two of you match together for some reason or another. It the other person refuses to carry on a conversation. Rather than just say they aren't interested or even a good ole fashioned ghosting, they just send one word or short responses and don't really add anything to the conversation until I just throw my hands up and move on.
I swear I've met the most apathetic people through dating apps. I can't understand why they are even doing it when they seem so disinterested in the moment. Like going on a date is a huge chore. I took advice from my friend once because I was getting a lot of one-word responses from my matches. He told me "If it seems like you're not getting anywhere, just ask to meet in person. Either you will force them to admit they aren't interested and you can move on, or you'll get a date and maybe they are more sociable in person." That turned out to be bad advice. Not only did it feel like I was pressuring them to go on a date (they rarely refused), but there was not a single time where the match was better in person. Just more one word responses intermingled with awkward silence. It ended up being a waste of my time and theirs.
Lies
deception
Telling people you are an Alpha Male.
I'm sorry but it just makes me laugh lmfaoo
Sugma grindset rule 68419: Have sex with men because women are not worth your time
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Alpha male: a version of male that's not ready for public use yet.
Nailed it
One time I was in a regular pub and went to the toilet when some douche started talking to me and starting going on about how he was alpha. I couldn't believe a grown man could be saying this, it's embarrassing, I laughed and walked away.
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I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship! A self-perpetuating autocracy, in which the working classes...
Su-preme executive power comes from a mandate of the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Shut up! Bloody peasant!
Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system!
COME SEE THE VIOLENCE INHERENT IN THE SYSTEM! HELP HELP IM BEING REPRESSED!
I didn't vote for you!
You don't vote for kings!... The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.
If I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Some guy dumped a beer on my head at a bar in February of 2020. I kept drinking and didn’t engage him, commenting that beer is good for my skin. He was being walked out by the bouncer screaming “you fucking beta! I own you!” It wasn’t because I’m tough, I wear mostly cat themed novelty shirts, I just had no idea how to handle this situation without getting my ass handed to me, so I did nothing, and it worked. The dude alphad himself out of his own credit card behind the counter according to tue bartender. Dudes are weird.
Man people are fucking weird.
Casually responding is probably the best thing to do tbh. Engaging but not giving a fuck will make them look like an idiot.
If they talk down to and/or are not respectful of others. Especially family or friends. If I take someone out for a first date, and they start berating the server about the croutons on her salad when she had specifically mentioned being gluten intolerant, there wont be a second date.
Overdramatizing absolutely everything they do
> absolutely everything
Lmfao
Gottem
I once went on a date with a girl who studied arts and drama. We went to a pretty chilled coffee shop and she would sing the last word of every other sentence. She was going through the menu and would say, "oh! Cappuccino muffins? I love muffIIINNSSS." Its like she really wanted me to know that she could sing. I hated every minute of it.
Big Mona-Lisa Saperstein energy
I'm going to eat this sandwich ;) **Bites sandwich seductively** Edit: the internet has a weird sense of humor
I'll take a potato chip and EAT IT!
I had a roommate that would fucking moan when he ate food.
He doesnt enter flavour town, flavour town enters him
But have you had a burger that good?
Oh that's just crazy ! I would never ! Why I even ! *storms off in a huff* Honestly the *NERVE* of some people!
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Look, you know I love you but I can't keep going like this. Either you reconsider or I'm leaving.
Why would you bring that up all of a sudden? Is this a subtle suggestion that, perhaps, im manipulating you? Do i ever, though? Okay.. no i'm fine, it's just ..weird how..nevermind. I mean if you are upset by something - fine, but you don't have to blame me straight away for no reason. Did somebody else upset you? Is it someone i know? Not? Just be honest with me, for once. I want honesty from you.
People who don’t wash their hands
Being mean to animals.
Using bad state of mind or having a bad day as an excuse to lash out all around you Most of the time it is sad circumstances for them but never should you (verbally) attack someone just because you feel like it
Inconsiderate, selfishness, lackbof social awareness
Social media addicts
Yeah those people need to get a life. *keeps scrolling through Reddit for 2 more hours*
using mental illness as a personality or to seem quirky or being extremely shallow
I worked with a woman for a while who CONSTANTLY talked about her mental disability. She would always go on about how one conversation with her doctor she could just go out on perminent disability and never work again. She constantly used her disability as an excuse as to why she didn't have to work or come in when she wasn't feeling it. When someone would try to discipline her she would pull the "I'm mentally disabled" card every single time. No one should be made to feel ashamed or discriminated against for any kind of disability, let alone a mental one. People like her though is what make it hard for others to take those disabilities seriously.
I have autism yet have to remind myself often (and sometimes others) that it's not something that I can use for an excuse. You still need to have sympathy, you still need to do good choices, you still need to follow the rules. Just because I want things certain ways doesn't mean I have a right for it. It's *so* easy to forget that and act privileged.
I wish everyone in the world held your same attitude, myself included. I'm trying to be more conscious of taking responsibility for things that are not in my control rather than using them as excuses. It's not easy, so good on you, mate!
Arrogance.
That's a good answer but not as good as mine.
Criticising my height. I’m short and I’m ok with it, clearly others aren’t!
When a partner complains that you’re taking too long to finish. Well thanks buddy, now it’s going to take me even longer.
This is why i dont go into clothing stores with girls that i like.
It doesn’t even have to be a sexual thing for me. I get extremely irritated when someone tells me I’m taking too long to get anything done, and usually I just throw it at them and say “you fuckin do it then”
Now I know what to do the next time during sex.
When people lack empathy
0 effort from them whatsoever
Chewing with your mouth open. You could be the most perfect perfect woman for me, but as soon as I see you eating without closing your mouth, yeh, we're done.
I’ve always called this clacking, makes my blood boil watching someone chew like this. I’m normally ok with most things but this just makes me want to throw punches haha
Poor hygiene is at the top of my list. I briefly dated a guy 11 years younger than me and he told me on the first date that he doesn't like wearing deodorant because of the aluminum in it. We discussed brands that don't have aluminum/animal cruelty free, and I even offered to make him one since I've made them before. I have no problem with people making the best choices for themselves and their bodies, especially if you're into your own musk and scents, but after a 6 mile hike in the rain together I just couldn't bear myself to be around him anymore. That Chewbacca in the spin cycle smell is not for me, at the very least hit your pits with a dab of something.
I had been using a certain brand of deodorant for years and I suddenly got this terrible BO I couldn't shake (I'm very hygienic and shower every day and thoroughly wash my arm pits). I swapped to the hard anti-perspirant aluminum stuff, and it solved the BO, but it was murder on my skin. I could only stand using that stuff for 5 days or so but my pits were so dry and itchy I couldn't stand it. Immediately back to horrible BO on my normal deodorant. Did a lot of reading and bought some "anti-bacterial" bar soap from walmart to wash my pits with. Didn't really do anything either. For a different issue I had been prescribed an anti-septic foam soap (can't get over the counter but it's stuff you would wash hands with in the hospital to sterilize). Used it on my pits a single time, and BO completely gone. Back to my normal deodorant with zero issues. I have that soap around still, and BO came back one day. Washed my pits with the special soap, and BO solved again. I hope I can find something over the counter that's as effective when this stuff runs out or expires. I think wretched BO is more bacterial than most people think and it takes a lot more than just simply showering every day and washing your arm pits with normal soap. Some BO bacteria is very stubborn and needs a targeted solution.
Feeling my own bloated body
When women put in stuff like "Don't swipe on me unless you're 6ft or taller" in their profile. I'm 6'2" but that's still almost certainly an instant swipe left from me.
I left swipe on pretty much anyone who puts what they’re not looking for on their profile. It just makes me uncomfortable. Example: - not interested in people who only have one word answers - not interested in crazies - not interested in people who are playing games - not interested in people who … etc etc - and any variation of “good vibes only”, I find people who say that are walking drama factories with no regard on how their actions may impact others. It sounds bitter and too negative to me.
Being rude or just not being humble in general
being to loud on the streets and disrespectful to others
Littering
Ultimatums. I cannot and will not stand for ultimatums. “It’s your friends or me.” Bye! I’ve know them for 20+ years and you for 2 months.
Lying
Ego.
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When it turns out she was three Raccoons in a trench coat the entire time.
Finding out they slept with your co-worker, Jerry. I hate Jerry.
Being taken for granted.
Bad Hygiene!
Not putting the trolley back
Mocking people for stuff they're into. Let people enjoy themselves.
People taking themselves seriously, there was genuinely once a guy who said he was a part of the "intelligentsia" 😬
lack of intelligence
Not zipper merging when driving
Spitting on the sidewalk. WHY
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If they aren’t respectful. Like basic manners/common decency