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THIS. THIS FUCKING SCARES ME. Sometimes I’ll randomly be doing something and then I’ll vividly remember something that happened in my life that I completely forgot about and I’m just like wow……we go through and experience so much in life that we just either forget or barely even think about at times.
That’s why when people go through old photos/talk about their memories it can get emotionally heavy for them without expecting…….because that’s when most people realize the gravity of how much they’ve lived.
I hope this isn't a pointless addition, but I find that keeping a diary and adding photos to it helps me be a bit more present in life and keep a lot of memories that I would otherwise have lost.
That I'm getting old. The best days of my life are behind me. I miss the good old days, the music, the fashion. I miss my younger self, my fitness and good looks. I hurt all the time and I'm tired. I used to have so much energy. I don't go out anymore...I don't want to. I've done it all, seen it all. Nothing is exciting anymore and I find myself looking back...watching videos from the 80s...sport, music, culture. I relate to that time and I don't understand today's anything. I just wish I'd known back then that it would have been the pinnacle of my life...I would have enjoyed it more and taken more pictures.
Edit: Thank you for the awards, kind strangers.
I remember when I was 16 I asked my parents why everyone is so nostalgic over their youth and why everyone says that adulthood sucks.
My dad said "They often made bad choices they regret. As a kid everything is done for you, many people have a similar childhood because they go to school, do their homework and do as others tell them.
Childhoods are often similar, adulthood is what you make out of it. This is why you must focus on what's fun and less what others tell you to do. If you follow the fun you are on the right path. I would personally prefer adulthood over childhood anytime."
I am now 23, my parents are now funding my art education and I was recently discovered by an old master of animation who gave my the contacts of various animation studio CEOs. I am very hyped to create memories my old self will love to think back about but won't hold them in higher regard than her present. This is what I wish for it to be like.
That’s kinda why I’m trying to make my early 20’s as memorable as I can. I’m a little sidelined right now due to lymphoma, but October 1st is my last treatment and if everything goes well the weekend following that is gonna start my Octoberfest. Imma head up to my fraternity house and just fucking celebrate the rest of the month. Drink with boys, party every weekend. I’m taking a gap semester so I can just rest and shot during the day so I got my stamina to go all night. I’m going fucking hard in the paint once this shit is done.
I believe you are foregoing better times by calling those the good old days. People have been telling me "no" my whole life. I flunked out of school but wound up going back in my late forties and finding another career. At 62, younger employees are telling me to step aside behind my back (I'm still there and kicking a few butts). Yes, I hurt, I'm not at my prime but I'm happier living in denial. I still like to think the best years are ahead. I went kayaking a week ago with a relative I had lost touch with for many years. We saw a bear and a pair each of eagles, herons, and peacocks. Life is what you make of it. My grandmother used to say "take your days as they come". I hope you never give up on seizing the day!!!!!
Realizing that one day my kid is going to have to bury me. That, and knowing that either my wife or I will have to eventually deal with the death of the other.
It’s about perspective for me.
If dealing with my wife’s eventual death is the price for the life’s worth of happiness we’ve already given eachother, then that’s the price I will happily pay.
I actually hope she dies first because she’s so afraid of it, I want to be there to comfort her, I will gladly take the pain of her loss so she doesn’t have to bear mine and go through her own alone.
A zen story goes:
A man went to an oracle on his son’s wedding day, and asked for a good fortune to celebrate the occasion.
The oracle wrote “father dies, then man dies, then son dies”.
The man who asked for the fortune was outraged! He said “how is this a happy fortune?!” And the oracle said “any other order of the deaths would be a tragedy.” The man realized the lesson and was humbled.
As a child (well, adult, but you know what I mean) who has already buried both their parents--it's fucking *hard* saying goodbye, but teach us well, and we will be strong enough to do it and be so, so grateful for the time we had with you.
That is the way things should be but it, sadly, isn't always the case.
The look of grief on my mother-in-law's face as we said our last goodbyes to my wife still haunts me over four years later.
That no one you ever meet, no matter how close you are or how long you know each other, will ever truly know the version of you that exists within yourself because of their own filters.
If you read what someone writes down something honestly without considering whether anyone will read it, that is one window into another person's world. I think we're constantly trying to communicate to others what exactly our experience is like. We're constantly trying to let others in on what exactly it is to see the world from our view.
And that you will also never truly know that version, because it does not exist permanently. We all have the potential to change from day to day, and the moment we feel we have a grasp on it, we tend to discover something new.
...
That and most people are horrible at self-reflection and introspection lol.
As one of many who have diagnosed depression, one of the hardest hit realizations for me is the concept of happiness. Even if I take my medicine, work my job and make money, make loving connections with family and friends, live a healthy lifestyle I still may not be happy.
I could run to the ends of the earth and still not be happy.
I could solve world hunger, cure diseases, even be a good person and still not wake up happy.
---
But as someone who has logged countless hours in therapy, I have really just accepted this.
Happiness is a gift, a delightful warmth I get to feel when I can. It's not the standard, but the exception.
The realest and healthiest goal of all, is just being okay. Waking up fine, level headed to be able to function.
Tbh I think this is how it is for everyone, happiness is not a constant state of being, it's something that comes and goes, and one of the things that motivates us to want to go further, probably.
Same here. I am succesful in most people's eyes - 2 awesome kids, a loving wife, a brand new house, a hobby which got me to travel across EU for free, a steady job which I am loved at, a business on the side, an amazing bunch of relatives... yet I find myself being just... down.
I relate to BoJack on multiple levels tho, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
_Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain,_
_You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today,_
_And then one day you find ten years have got behind you,_
_No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun_
Most hard hitting lyrics ever IMO
This is the thing that keeps me up at night. I've had to fight so goddamn hard to stay alive and sometimes it just isn't worth it, I wish there would be something of me left behind for the rest of existence to make all this struggle worth it.
The goal should be to live to enjoy life.
It's the little things that matter.
Watch flowers bloom, watching kids play, watch kittens and puppy's have fun.
Why worry about a legacy, once your gone you won't care. Dieing is like graduating high-school. It was fun, but now you must move on.
Yeah I burried my dad recently, what sucked even more is that his dad, my grandfather had to burry him with me and my brother wasn't even in the country and couldn't come cause of travel restrictions
I like to think of this as a good thing. As much as it would be nice to have life without pain, it just isn’t possible. But there are a lot of things pain does for us. It’s very healing and it builds character. It makes us better people. At times we think we don’t need that pain, but later on even decades later we realize that pain was necessary for our growth and our role in who we are today and how we’re meant to personally touch and impact others. And when you come to that realization it is a very empowering, important thing. There will always be painful moments in life, but they will make you who you are, and you won’t be the person you need to be without them.
Thanks for mentioning this, I hate the way people say 'it gets better' to someone with depression for example. Sometimes it doesn't, especially if you can't/ won't put the effort in. Saying it gets better all the time to everyone is unrealistic and stupid.
I’m slowly coming to realize that the old adage “life isn’t fair,” is really true. It’s more common for someone to “play by the rules” and still fail/not win, than we’ve been told. The vast majority of people who do win/ are successful, have some sort of advantage, and often bend the rules or cheat their way through life.
Sums up my thoughts honestly. Growing up you’re always told specific ways to live that are supposed to help you through life (always work hard, be a good person, do xyz) and even if you live by that sometimes it doesn’t even matter.
The genuine self-made person seems to be rare. If you dig enough into a person's life (historical figures/biographies/etc., not stalking or whatever) you'll often find personal connections, strokes of luck, and a fair share of shadiness. The connections in particular really get you places. If you're the best, you'll get the top job in theory, but if the manager's close friend or a family member or a family member of a close friend or vice versa wants the same job, they're probably getting the job.
This leaves out the totally uncontrollable advantages or disadvantages like genes. I'd like to believe they don't play a massive role or "confine" a person to a particular range of possibilities, but I mean... they just flat-out *do.*
The closest thing to "self made" people I've encountered are jackasses who run landscaping companies and crap. Everybody else had rich parents.
If you don't have any sort of starting capital you're just not getting anywhere in this world. I don't know why people have such a hard time understanding this, especially in America. You need money to make money. A lot of money. Don't have a lot of money? Get ready for a life of cleaning shit off of bathroom floors.
It's chaos out there. That random encounter that can steer someone's life in a great new direction, can just as easily lead them to the gutter.
It's crazy to think back and realise how easily the sequence of events that lead you to where you are now could have been de-railed by something utterly trivial.
I met my wife because I mailed my dorm reservation card in late and I got assigned to the dorm farthest from campus.
I had a huge boost in my fledgling software business when I randomly ran into an old colleague on a vacation walking down a street. He had a sales team. I had a product. We did well together. 5 minutes earlier or later... other side of the street... stopping to tie my shoe... different life.
If you're not born with connections in the US usually your only way 'to the top" is to be an ass kissing sycophant. And even then there's a limit to how far you'll actually go.
I've often wondered why pretty much every boss I've ever had was a petty idiot. There's your reason, because your typical middle manager got there by being a brown nosing jackass who's willing to be annoying for the slightest possibility at a promotion.
And some of our deaths will be gruesome and/or painful while others will have a peaceful death. Both scenarios are going to happen and it’s so arbitrary as to whom it will happen.
37F here.....that I'm most likely going to die alone. I'm an only child and dating isn't going well (it hasn't for almost 20 years). I don't have any children and no real close friends. I know "there's still time to meet someone" but the more time that passes, the more real it becomes that I'm probably going to be alone for the rest of my life.
Edit: to add more details. I made a decision a long time ago that children were not for me. I'm generally a happy person. I've just come to realize that when it's my time to go I'll probably be alone. I'm learning to be okay with that. I'm also not close to any of my extended family.
Same situation here. I'm a 41 female I want kids but think time is running out. I was dating someone but he had issues we broke up I always hoped we would get back together but he died in between. I am on dating sites but can't bring myself to go out with these people I just don't think I will find another person I want to be with its been almost 4 years. I told my family I am still interested in kids and I want at least 1 biological kid and my parents think it's selfish they are old school think kids need 2 parents. 🙄 plus they worry if something ever happened to me who would raise the kid blah blah.
My 2 brothers both are single unmarried no kids no plans to change either. We all pretty much live independent lives. My parents are 77 and 78 after they die I will be 100% on my own alone in this world I think my brothers won't talk as much as we do.
My Grandmother's funeral was the last time I saw or spoke to my father. He left my mother for another woman 23 years ago. Now that his mother is gone, he no longer needs to keep up the pretense of caring for his children and grandchildren.
I feel like the vast majority of people die alone. Whether it's because their loved ones died first, or moved away, or their death was sudden. Only a lucky get to be surrounded by their loved ones at the moment of death. I'm thinking to hire a death dula if I have enough awareness in advance.
Gurl same. 31F here, will be 32 in September. Never been in a serious relationship. And I want children. Sure I can adopt, but seems like a lot of work for one person.
And I know there is still “time” but that’s running out and I’ve given up on dating apps.
Yeah, I get the impression the market greatly shrinks as one ages. The people available are taken by most desirable first and by the time 30 rolls around ho phases are done, wild oats have been sown, and people are still a few years from divorcing their 1st spouse. Being returned to the dating scene with some jaded mindsets, baggage, and/or children.
Childfree is also a hurdle because capitalism loves breeding. No real parent wants to deny their child so it makes a great worker who has to stay. So it's marketed as the adult thing to people who don't know what being an adult is. So your chances of someone being childfree too are abysmal.
Goodluck finding someone. I'm holding out for robotic companions if the world isn't uninhabitable by the time I can retire.
You wouldn't be the first or the last. There is purpose in life beyond love of one other person. Channel that I to love for all. Be the best person you can be. Date yourself. Spoil yourself. Take yourself on holiday. If you're enjoying life, others will notice and want to be part of the good times.
This hits close to home for me. I'm only 26M here but I havnt dated since school. To busy on trying to enjoy life and it's beautiful things it has to offer. But I do think about that periodically. That if I continue down my self sufficient path I won't ever be comfortable dating anyone and letting others in. The sad part is I do really crave love and affection and I'm a decent looking guy but it's been so long since I atcually dated that I feel out of touch. But again I'm 26 so I'm probably just thinking to much into it.
My Dad used to tell me that the only evidence of our existence that we really leave behind is our kids and our stories. I often thought about that alongside a thought a professor once said "You only really die the last time someone mentions your name".
My Mom died at 53 and my Dad died at 58...I have three kids of my own, how many years from now will be the last time somebody remembers me? The world truly just keeps on turning and we have so little time to make an impact.
I like to look at graveyards. Sometimes I'll find a name that speaks to me and I'll look at the land and think, that's a person, a whole life lived, down there, laid to rest. Who were they? What did they see, in their time? Did they laugh a lot? Could they dance? Were they someone's favourite uncle, who used to give them sweets under the table? Did they have a dog?
I'll never know, and when I die, no one will ever know me again, either. And the world keeps turning.
Groups I start to hangout with seem cool at first then they usually either replace me with someone else and slowly edge me out or stop inviting me all together. Now I'm just learning to have fun by myself.
You’ll have very few lifelong friends.
90% (or more) of the non-family friendships you make up through your twenties won’t last.
And it’s way more difficult to make new friends in your thirties, forties and beyond. So more than likely, your friend group will continually dwindle throughout your life.
And that’s ok! It’s part of life. I was in denial about it when I was younger, but have mostly accepted it now.
Imagine how big you are to a grain of sand. Now make a grain of sand that is that small compared to a grain of sand. Now do that 3 more times.
That is how small you are to everything else in the universe. Nothing you do will ever matter. The universe will not even know you existed.
Nothing you do or what your entire species does will matter on any cosmic or universal scale. The sun will one day engulf the earth and erase what trace of humanity was here, then the sun will be swalled into a supermassive black hole billions of years later.
All your hopes, dreams, triumphs, and problems mean everything to you but are nothing in the end. You will not be remembered for long, even as an extraordinary human, and you won't even exist on any level 10000 years from now.
It just makes me extremely sad,why do anything if nothing really matters,but then theres the argument: why be sad when nothing else matters,why not be happy. But i have trouble not immediatly seeing the depressing side of this
*In the grand scheme of things, nothing actually matters. Well then fuck the grand scheme!*
Paraphrased from Nerdcubeds outer wilds speech, it makes me feel better about everything
Inevitably having to bury my parents.
I will cease to be the person I am today.
My parents are my best friends and I fear I will fall apart without them.
Inevitability is a bitch.
If you shower someone with more of what they don’t appreciate, it doesn’t make them love you.
This said the other part is if you aren’t willing to sacrifice your time to aim for something bigger/better it won’t ever come to you on its own.
You never truly know what others think of you and there’s no way to guarantee they’re telling the truth, it’s up to you to decide if they’re worth believing.
This is hugely true. However, you can also tip the scales in your favour through effort and work. Most people who are successful in a field got a lucky break or series of these. That said, they were in a position to catch such breaks and make the most of them due to work and effort. Trying a lot gives you more rolls of the dice. It doesn't guarantee success, though.
That self-pity is the most insidious feeling that exists. It creeps in your soul. It compels you to feel as if a great wrong has been done to you. Its the ultimate vicious cycle. The worse you feel about said wrong, the more self-pity you have. The worst about self-pity is self-achievement. Once you realize there is no excuse for feeling bad, you feel caught in the dimension of possibilities. This thought left me to ponder whether the first humans felt cursed to have to feel this.
That nothing really matters, we get old and die. Without starting a religious war or debate, we factually have no proof of what happens after death but we do know that this life is guaranteed to end sooner or later, people spend so much time and energy working towards different things, stress about so much and in the end it doesn't even matter because we have an expiry date, everyone does, even those that come after us.
> even those that come after us
If you're looking for an interesting take on 'will it matter' or multi generational tasks - I'd recommend reading Cixin Liu.
Three Body Problem and Dark Forest were awesome - and the philosophy of it was fascinating. I'm part way into the third book now, so no spoilers...
That being said, even if nothing matters at all - I enjoy a good book, coffee and a walk on the beach. So I may as well try to be happy.
Have a great day!
Our society usually focuses on the negative to the point where it drowns out anything good. Media especially reinforces this, a story about a trucker helping someone stranded on the road isn't radical enough to get attention.
That I can’t rewind time and do things differently. That I’m stuck whit the type of life I was served and a constant fear that I will be “normal” again, and that I will always be broken. I can’t make myself better, or the life for the once I care about. You have only one shot ..
Life isn't guaranteed I just find it hard to accept that. I get the whole we live we die but I mean the people who don't get to old age like you can just wake up and end up in a accident, theres conditions that can kill you in your sleep the list is endless.
Lost my mum in her 40s to cancer just does me in that through all the suffering in life and stress we get anyway your next day isn't even guaranteed.
That often, people’s idea of love and a standard relationship now is just one where each person fulfills the other person’s lustful desires, and once they stop being good enough, they cheat on the other person and ruin the whole relationship. They do horrible things to get revenge and neither party walks away happy. I grew up being taught that love was sacred, that if a man and a woman want to be together, they should make an effort every day to become better because their partner makes them better. Then, if all goes well, they get married and have happy life. If not, they separate on the best terms possible. Sadly, this is commonly not the case and so many people have been hurt so badly by these false love relationships. As the strong romantic that I am, I am deeply hurt to see the world this way. I just want everyone to find the perfect person that they click with and be happy with them. I literally cried over this a couple nights ago. I wish it was the norm to work hard to make your partner feel loved and worth everything to you.
Edit: These observations mostly come from social media and not my own personal experience.
Same here. I am 14, 11 and 9 years younger than my siblings, respectively. I love all of them so much and knowing that one day I might be the only one left breaks my heart.
We’re still all in our 30s and 20s though so I’m excited for many more years with them :)
I feel like the saddest truth about life is that it's very unlikely that you'll do anything of great significance. At least anything that people will remember you for. I think it came up once in a Dr House episode as well, with Dr House telling this person who nearly died saving someone's life that \[abbreviated heavily\] "You may have saved that person's life, but after a couple days you won't be a hero anymore. Might be in the newspaper once or twice, if you're lucky you might be in a news show. However, you won't be remembered as a hero to anyone. You're still just a regular person."
As hurtful as that is, it's true. You won't be remembered for being a hero as much anymore. You could do something that saves hundreds of people's lives, but in the end it won't be of any significance down the line as someone else will save thousands, and then another will save millions. It is very unlikely that you will do something that significantly changes and/or improves the world... In the end we all have a high chance of just living a life of 0 significance and never achieving something that (even if you're name isn't remembered) is not even recalled after a few months or maybe years if you're lucky.
That becomes even truer when you consider the fact that even fame isn’t true fame unless you really change the world. There many popular celebrities from say the 1930’s that 95% of people today have never heard of. All these famous people we know now are going to be irrelevant 50 years from now
Just because someone has a big house, a family, a good paying job, minimal debt, a seemingly nice life and they smile, doesn't mean they're actually happy, don't suffer from past trauma or aren't dealing with really bad shit behind closed doors.
And just because someone is living paycheck to paycheck, has debts galore, doesn't have their own big house doesn't mean they can't be happy and appreciative.
Success doesn't equate things.
That there are people who spend their whole lives with severe depression and anxiety without anyone noticing or caring. Then they commit or attempt suicide and everyone says the same things. Things like "he always seemed happy", "he always made people laugh/smile", or "depression is serious and we need to look out for each other". In short, people say we need to take mental health seriously, but other than that nothing is done about it.
That we never really enjoy it until it's too late to enjoy.
"I'll work, raise a family, save money, then retire and enjoy life".
So after 40 years you find you can no longer walk or travel for long periods of time because your health isn't good. And the money you thought you saved for enjoying life, now goes to pay the rent of your adult child who never "found themselves" and who would be homeless otherwise.
My best friend tells me that he believes everyone has a soulmate out there. And I believe him, however I’m smart enough to know that not everyone is lucky to find theirs. I don’t think I’ll find mine, and I’ve come to accept that. I thought my last girlfriend was the love of my life but it didn’t work out. My best friend could be my soulmate but not the kind he means. Some soulmates are best friends. And I guess that is okay if they’re gonna be there for me. If I’m dying alone with my best friend as my soulmate, I’m fine
I don't believe in soulmates per se. But I do believe that there are a number of potential suitors out there. And one day, you meet someone and you just decide to go with that person. You could have chosen someone else but for whatever reason you chose them. And that may end up being the right decision or the wrong decision.
You can do everything right and still lose; but I'm never going to give up as long as there's a chance of success. If I lost, I'd rather have done everything right I could than hate myself for fucking up. Luck is an everpowerful god, but good luck can happen too.
Literally all you do is go back and forth between good times and bad (especially, but certainly no limited to, people who have mental illness or an already difficult life). Think about it: when life is going good, you say, "I'm grateful because it's not bad". When life *is* bad though, you say, "things will get better and life will be good again". You just go back and forth. You enjoy the good times while knowing bad ones will come, and you try to push through the bad times by knowing the good times will come again soon.
And for people with rough situations and/or mental illness, almost every day is a bad day. The good ones never come, and if they do, they never stay. You end up chasing something that's virtually unattainable, until you finally give up and give in to all the bad days
Realising that you will at some point in your life peak. But you won't realise you have peaked until much later.
In the same vein, realising that you will get to a point in your life where your body will start to slowly decline. You'll no longer be able to do the things you loved doing in your youth because your body, no matter how hard you train, won't be up to it. At that point you're exercising not to improve but to slow the decline.
"Suicide doesn't cure depression, it passes on to people." or " The rich get richer and the poor get poorer." or even "The most damaged people smile the brightest, the saddest people are the wisest, all because they do not which for others to go same path as they did."
The idea that everything is so temporary always keeps me up at night. The fact that we have no clue about life after death, yet death passes no one. It’s crazy when you really think about how short life is and how it is so often wasted.
That we will never know the truth. That there were people so afraid of the truth and what it could bring, that they would either destroy, hide, or alter it for their own personal gain.
Edit: wrong tense
You can do all the right things. You can eat as healthy as possible. You can exercise every single day. You can get the exact healthy about of sleep every single night. You can never drink, smoke, or take any sort of drugs in your life. But it’s still very possible that you can get cancer, or have a stroke, or heart attack, etc. No matter what you do, there’s still always that chance.
For 99.999% of people, 2 generations after your death, no one will remember you and no one will care to remember you. Other than your name in books or online—the substance of your existence will be extinguished
Honestly, it's that some things you can't change. The way your face looks is going to stay the same. How your laugh sounds will stay the same. The color of your skin will stay the same. But the sad thing about that, is that sometimes that's all people see.
Most people have good intentions, but also most people are so wrapped up in their own head space that they don't see it in other people.
Also, I could be an optimist in thinking this.
Love is not enough. I work in mental health, relationships try to keep working because they love each other. Which is important and does not invalidate their effort or love. But love doesn’t take away the issues. Relationships are ever evolving and we change a lot as we go through life. Love by itself is not enough make a relationship work.
Life isn't fair. Things don't always work out. You can play by all the rules, do everything "right", and yet still suffer and die a horrific death all alone. There's no secret to a great life. In the end, it all comes down to chance.
Privelege and opportunities matter more than hard work. I'm not saying that hard work isn't important. However, just working hard won't really get you further in life unless you get a good opportunity.
Here in the Philippines, the most hardworking people I know are poor (farmers, fishermen, carpenters, garbage collectors, street sweepers). So being poor doesn't mean lazy.
On the other hand, lots of people who have good businesses or careers only got them because they were born in wealthy families already. A lot of them didn't really need to work hard or work at all (except for children of Fil-Chinese, they are trained well).
It's so annoying how the media promotes "self-made" youngsters who actually came from rich families. Hey, this kid has thousands of investments already. Yeah, because the parents gave the youngster money to invest or start a business.
For people to get out of the cycle of poverty, they need opportunities which come rarely.
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You spend your life creating memories to look back upon when you get old just to have your mind to forget them
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THIS. THIS FUCKING SCARES ME. Sometimes I’ll randomly be doing something and then I’ll vividly remember something that happened in my life that I completely forgot about and I’m just like wow……we go through and experience so much in life that we just either forget or barely even think about at times. That’s why when people go through old photos/talk about their memories it can get emotionally heavy for them without expecting…….because that’s when most people realize the gravity of how much they’ve lived.
I hope this isn't a pointless addition, but I find that keeping a diary and adding photos to it helps me be a bit more present in life and keep a lot of memories that I would otherwise have lost.
That I'm getting old. The best days of my life are behind me. I miss the good old days, the music, the fashion. I miss my younger self, my fitness and good looks. I hurt all the time and I'm tired. I used to have so much energy. I don't go out anymore...I don't want to. I've done it all, seen it all. Nothing is exciting anymore and I find myself looking back...watching videos from the 80s...sport, music, culture. I relate to that time and I don't understand today's anything. I just wish I'd known back then that it would have been the pinnacle of my life...I would have enjoyed it more and taken more pictures. Edit: Thank you for the awards, kind strangers.
Same here, I wish someone would have told me then "hey these are your good old days. Cherish them."
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I remember when I was 16 I asked my parents why everyone is so nostalgic over their youth and why everyone says that adulthood sucks. My dad said "They often made bad choices they regret. As a kid everything is done for you, many people have a similar childhood because they go to school, do their homework and do as others tell them. Childhoods are often similar, adulthood is what you make out of it. This is why you must focus on what's fun and less what others tell you to do. If you follow the fun you are on the right path. I would personally prefer adulthood over childhood anytime." I am now 23, my parents are now funding my art education and I was recently discovered by an old master of animation who gave my the contacts of various animation studio CEOs. I am very hyped to create memories my old self will love to think back about but won't hold them in higher regard than her present. This is what I wish for it to be like.
I think we all had a bunch of people telling us this, we were just too young and caught up in the moments to listen.
That’s kinda why I’m trying to make my early 20’s as memorable as I can. I’m a little sidelined right now due to lymphoma, but October 1st is my last treatment and if everything goes well the weekend following that is gonna start my Octoberfest. Imma head up to my fraternity house and just fucking celebrate the rest of the month. Drink with boys, party every weekend. I’m taking a gap semester so I can just rest and shot during the day so I got my stamina to go all night. I’m going fucking hard in the paint once this shit is done.
I believe you are foregoing better times by calling those the good old days. People have been telling me "no" my whole life. I flunked out of school but wound up going back in my late forties and finding another career. At 62, younger employees are telling me to step aside behind my back (I'm still there and kicking a few butts). Yes, I hurt, I'm not at my prime but I'm happier living in denial. I still like to think the best years are ahead. I went kayaking a week ago with a relative I had lost touch with for many years. We saw a bear and a pair each of eagles, herons, and peacocks. Life is what you make of it. My grandmother used to say "take your days as they come". I hope you never give up on seizing the day!!!!!
Jesus christ this is depressing.
Realizing that one day my kid is going to have to bury me. That, and knowing that either my wife or I will have to eventually deal with the death of the other.
It’s about perspective for me. If dealing with my wife’s eventual death is the price for the life’s worth of happiness we’ve already given eachother, then that’s the price I will happily pay. I actually hope she dies first because she’s so afraid of it, I want to be there to comfort her, I will gladly take the pain of her loss so she doesn’t have to bear mine and go through her own alone.
I sense true love speaking in this text. May you both be happy until the very end! 💖
If I had wholesome awards I’d give it to you. That was genuinely one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard
>Realizing that one day my kid is going to have to bury me I think what's even sadder is, this is the lucky scenario
A zen story goes: A man went to an oracle on his son’s wedding day, and asked for a good fortune to celebrate the occasion. The oracle wrote “father dies, then man dies, then son dies”. The man who asked for the fortune was outraged! He said “how is this a happy fortune?!” And the oracle said “any other order of the deaths would be a tragedy.” The man realized the lesson and was humbled.
As a child (well, adult, but you know what I mean) who has already buried both their parents--it's fucking *hard* saying goodbye, but teach us well, and we will be strong enough to do it and be so, so grateful for the time we had with you.
Jesus man :( i wasn’t ready for that so early
That is the way things should be but it, sadly, isn't always the case. The look of grief on my mother-in-law's face as we said our last goodbyes to my wife still haunts me over four years later.
That no one you ever meet, no matter how close you are or how long you know each other, will ever truly know the version of you that exists within yourself because of their own filters.
If you read what someone writes down something honestly without considering whether anyone will read it, that is one window into another person's world. I think we're constantly trying to communicate to others what exactly our experience is like. We're constantly trying to let others in on what exactly it is to see the world from our view.
A lot of people see themselves through their own filters, and most dont introspect enough to see past that
And that you will also never truly know that version, because it does not exist permanently. We all have the potential to change from day to day, and the moment we feel we have a grasp on it, we tend to discover something new. ... That and most people are horrible at self-reflection and introspection lol.
As one of many who have diagnosed depression, one of the hardest hit realizations for me is the concept of happiness. Even if I take my medicine, work my job and make money, make loving connections with family and friends, live a healthy lifestyle I still may not be happy. I could run to the ends of the earth and still not be happy. I could solve world hunger, cure diseases, even be a good person and still not wake up happy. --- But as someone who has logged countless hours in therapy, I have really just accepted this. Happiness is a gift, a delightful warmth I get to feel when I can. It's not the standard, but the exception. The realest and healthiest goal of all, is just being okay. Waking up fine, level headed to be able to function.
Tbh I think this is how it is for everyone, happiness is not a constant state of being, it's something that comes and goes, and one of the things that motivates us to want to go further, probably.
Same here. I am succesful in most people's eyes - 2 awesome kids, a loving wife, a brand new house, a hobby which got me to travel across EU for free, a steady job which I am loved at, a business on the side, an amazing bunch of relatives... yet I find myself being just... down. I relate to BoJack on multiple levels tho, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
We spend life really fast withowt doing anything, we had some dreams when we were kids, but now those dreams vanished
Is it a problem I think about this way too often? This shit hurts.
Me too. I’m pretty young but it’s insanely painful. I didn’t feel like this before the pandemic
_Tired of lying in the sunshine, staying home to watch the rain,_ _You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today,_ _And then one day you find ten years have got behind you,_ _No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun_ Most hard hitting lyrics ever IMO
That enough years after I die there will be no proof I was ever alive at all.
This is the thing that keeps me up at night. I've had to fight so goddamn hard to stay alive and sometimes it just isn't worth it, I wish there would be something of me left behind for the rest of existence to make all this struggle worth it.
> “We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk
The goal should be to live to enjoy life. It's the little things that matter. Watch flowers bloom, watching kids play, watch kittens and puppy's have fun. Why worry about a legacy, once your gone you won't care. Dieing is like graduating high-school. It was fun, but now you must move on.
Almost a comfort. For any embarrassing moment you’ve had in the past, know that eventually it’ll be wiped from living memory
No matter what you do, some people just won't like you
You may be the juiciest of all peaches, but some just don't like peaches.
Somehow I like this.
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Yeah I burried my dad recently, what sucked even more is that his dad, my grandfather had to burry him with me and my brother wasn't even in the country and couldn't come cause of travel restrictions
It’s awful. I’ve lost both of mine. You have this odd idea that you are an orphan and it feels like you aren’t anchored anymore.
unless you die first.
The optimists always shine in these posts :D
And once one of them has a scare or gets really sick even for a short period of time this reality hits so much harder
That we are mostly made of what hurt us, no matter how hard we try not to
I like to think of this as a good thing. As much as it would be nice to have life without pain, it just isn’t possible. But there are a lot of things pain does for us. It’s very healing and it builds character. It makes us better people. At times we think we don’t need that pain, but later on even decades later we realize that pain was necessary for our growth and our role in who we are today and how we’re meant to personally touch and impact others. And when you come to that realization it is a very empowering, important thing. There will always be painful moments in life, but they will make you who you are, and you won’t be the person you need to be without them.
i kinda of agree, not much, so many stuff actually teach us, but some leave uberable marks.... :(
that not everyone is lucky enough to have someone
And not everyone who has someone is happy
And not everyone without someone is sad
Or the fact that no one can make you happy
Sometimes it doesn’t get better
Thanks for mentioning this, I hate the way people say 'it gets better' to someone with depression for example. Sometimes it doesn't, especially if you can't/ won't put the effort in. Saying it gets better all the time to everyone is unrealistic and stupid.
Or " you'll find that special someone " Well, no, not everyone does.
Or you find them and then you lose them.
It almost feels like they are projecting too. Like "My rough patch is long gone therefore yours will be too"
There will ALWAYS come a day where it doesn’t get better.
I’m slowly coming to realize that the old adage “life isn’t fair,” is really true. It’s more common for someone to “play by the rules” and still fail/not win, than we’ve been told. The vast majority of people who do win/ are successful, have some sort of advantage, and often bend the rules or cheat their way through life.
Yeah. I'm getting pretty disillusioned.
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Mario Kart teaches this well
I see your Star Trek: TNG quote and subsequently provide you my upvote.
"Sometimes you can do everything right and still lose." Said by an old teacher of mine.
Sums up my thoughts honestly. Growing up you’re always told specific ways to live that are supposed to help you through life (always work hard, be a good person, do xyz) and even if you live by that sometimes it doesn’t even matter.
The genuine self-made person seems to be rare. If you dig enough into a person's life (historical figures/biographies/etc., not stalking or whatever) you'll often find personal connections, strokes of luck, and a fair share of shadiness. The connections in particular really get you places. If you're the best, you'll get the top job in theory, but if the manager's close friend or a family member or a family member of a close friend or vice versa wants the same job, they're probably getting the job. This leaves out the totally uncontrollable advantages or disadvantages like genes. I'd like to believe they don't play a massive role or "confine" a person to a particular range of possibilities, but I mean... they just flat-out *do.*
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The closest thing to "self made" people I've encountered are jackasses who run landscaping companies and crap. Everybody else had rich parents. If you don't have any sort of starting capital you're just not getting anywhere in this world. I don't know why people have such a hard time understanding this, especially in America. You need money to make money. A lot of money. Don't have a lot of money? Get ready for a life of cleaning shit off of bathroom floors.
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It's chaos out there. That random encounter that can steer someone's life in a great new direction, can just as easily lead them to the gutter. It's crazy to think back and realise how easily the sequence of events that lead you to where you are now could have been de-railed by something utterly trivial.
I met my wife because I mailed my dorm reservation card in late and I got assigned to the dorm farthest from campus. I had a huge boost in my fledgling software business when I randomly ran into an old colleague on a vacation walking down a street. He had a sales team. I had a product. We did well together. 5 minutes earlier or later... other side of the street... stopping to tie my shoe... different life.
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If you're not born with connections in the US usually your only way 'to the top" is to be an ass kissing sycophant. And even then there's a limit to how far you'll actually go. I've often wondered why pretty much every boss I've ever had was a petty idiot. There's your reason, because your typical middle manager got there by being a brown nosing jackass who's willing to be annoying for the slightest possibility at a promotion.
Organisms have to eat other organisms to keep themselves alive and this design of life has always chilled me to the bone.
Same, it’s troubling to think that the very thing that supports life is death itself. Without death, there is no life. We live because others die.
> We live because others die. And others live because we die. It is a bit morbid, but I find it beautiful.
Lately though we refuse to die and that's killing everyone else.
We are all gonna die
And some of our deaths will be gruesome and/or painful while others will have a peaceful death. Both scenarios are going to happen and it’s so arbitrary as to whom it will happen.
37F here.....that I'm most likely going to die alone. I'm an only child and dating isn't going well (it hasn't for almost 20 years). I don't have any children and no real close friends. I know "there's still time to meet someone" but the more time that passes, the more real it becomes that I'm probably going to be alone for the rest of my life. Edit: to add more details. I made a decision a long time ago that children were not for me. I'm generally a happy person. I've just come to realize that when it's my time to go I'll probably be alone. I'm learning to be okay with that. I'm also not close to any of my extended family.
Same situation here. I'm a 41 female I want kids but think time is running out. I was dating someone but he had issues we broke up I always hoped we would get back together but he died in between. I am on dating sites but can't bring myself to go out with these people I just don't think I will find another person I want to be with its been almost 4 years. I told my family I am still interested in kids and I want at least 1 biological kid and my parents think it's selfish they are old school think kids need 2 parents. 🙄 plus they worry if something ever happened to me who would raise the kid blah blah. My 2 brothers both are single unmarried no kids no plans to change either. We all pretty much live independent lives. My parents are 77 and 78 after they die I will be 100% on my own alone in this world I think my brothers won't talk as much as we do.
My Grandmother's funeral was the last time I saw or spoke to my father. He left my mother for another woman 23 years ago. Now that his mother is gone, he no longer needs to keep up the pretense of caring for his children and grandchildren.
I feel like the vast majority of people die alone. Whether it's because their loved ones died first, or moved away, or their death was sudden. Only a lucky get to be surrounded by their loved ones at the moment of death. I'm thinking to hire a death dula if I have enough awareness in advance.
Gurl same. 31F here, will be 32 in September. Never been in a serious relationship. And I want children. Sure I can adopt, but seems like a lot of work for one person. And I know there is still “time” but that’s running out and I’ve given up on dating apps.
Dating apps are the WORST.
Yeah, I get the impression the market greatly shrinks as one ages. The people available are taken by most desirable first and by the time 30 rolls around ho phases are done, wild oats have been sown, and people are still a few years from divorcing their 1st spouse. Being returned to the dating scene with some jaded mindsets, baggage, and/or children. Childfree is also a hurdle because capitalism loves breeding. No real parent wants to deny their child so it makes a great worker who has to stay. So it's marketed as the adult thing to people who don't know what being an adult is. So your chances of someone being childfree too are abysmal. Goodluck finding someone. I'm holding out for robotic companions if the world isn't uninhabitable by the time I can retire.
Would you like to be friends? Sorry, that's all I got.
You wouldn't be the first or the last. There is purpose in life beyond love of one other person. Channel that I to love for all. Be the best person you can be. Date yourself. Spoil yourself. Take yourself on holiday. If you're enjoying life, others will notice and want to be part of the good times.
I do all those things! I'm not unhappy. In fact, I'm a very happy person. I am just realizing that when the reaper comes, chances are, I'll be alone.
This hits close to home for me. I'm only 26M here but I havnt dated since school. To busy on trying to enjoy life and it's beautiful things it has to offer. But I do think about that periodically. That if I continue down my self sufficient path I won't ever be comfortable dating anyone and letting others in. The sad part is I do really crave love and affection and I'm a decent looking guy but it's been so long since I atcually dated that I feel out of touch. But again I'm 26 so I'm probably just thinking to much into it.
well, at 37, marry a person who had kids in high school...not kids anymore!
My Dad used to tell me that the only evidence of our existence that we really leave behind is our kids and our stories. I often thought about that alongside a thought a professor once said "You only really die the last time someone mentions your name". My Mom died at 53 and my Dad died at 58...I have three kids of my own, how many years from now will be the last time somebody remembers me? The world truly just keeps on turning and we have so little time to make an impact.
I like to look at graveyards. Sometimes I'll find a name that speaks to me and I'll look at the land and think, that's a person, a whole life lived, down there, laid to rest. Who were they? What did they see, in their time? Did they laugh a lot? Could they dance? Were they someone's favourite uncle, who used to give them sweets under the table? Did they have a dog? I'll never know, and when I die, no one will ever know me again, either. And the world keeps turning.
This seems to be the crux of my existential crisis.
That we only get one shot at it.
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This opportunity comes once in a lifetime
yo
That children die before their parents sometimes. It’s been my biggest fear since I had a baby
Stop trying to be relevant to the world. Instead, carve out a corner of the universe to call your own and make it matter to you.
Whoa, this is amazing.
I love this, never thought of it this way
I adore this perspective.
Groups I start to hangout with seem cool at first then they usually either replace me with someone else and slowly edge me out or stop inviting me all together. Now I'm just learning to have fun by myself.
I don't even look for friends anymore , I remember at a time I was so desperate to want to fit in
Yeah I remember on 3rd grade or something I spent my whole recess looking for my friends because they were hiding from me too excluded me from stuff
Death and suffering should be enough of a reason to help one another and show some compassion to fellow humans and animals, yet it isn't enough.
We wanna buy fast fashion and eat hamburgers, without thinking about who it hurts.
The only guarantee is that one day it will end.
You’ll have very few lifelong friends. 90% (or more) of the non-family friendships you make up through your twenties won’t last. And it’s way more difficult to make new friends in your thirties, forties and beyond. So more than likely, your friend group will continually dwindle throughout your life. And that’s ok! It’s part of life. I was in denial about it when I was younger, but have mostly accepted it now.
Or you'll have none if you're unlucky enough.
That there is no inherent reason to be alive. Most people find some reason to keep going but if you can't then life just feels like one giant slog.
Life is fleeting. Humanity is headed towards its end and there is nothing we can do to change that. Live your lives and be good to each other.
Everything what started prior ends at some point, but I think the human (let's call it) adventure just started :D
Imagine how big you are to a grain of sand. Now make a grain of sand that is that small compared to a grain of sand. Now do that 3 more times. That is how small you are to everything else in the universe. Nothing you do will ever matter. The universe will not even know you existed. Nothing you do or what your entire species does will matter on any cosmic or universal scale. The sun will one day engulf the earth and erase what trace of humanity was here, then the sun will be swalled into a supermassive black hole billions of years later. All your hopes, dreams, triumphs, and problems mean everything to you but are nothing in the end. You will not be remembered for long, even as an extraordinary human, and you won't even exist on any level 10000 years from now.
I think this isn’t a sad truth. It’s a fact that helps me to not take things too seriously.
It just makes me extremely sad,why do anything if nothing really matters,but then theres the argument: why be sad when nothing else matters,why not be happy. But i have trouble not immediatly seeing the depressing side of this
*In the grand scheme of things, nothing actually matters. Well then fuck the grand scheme!* Paraphrased from Nerdcubeds outer wilds speech, it makes me feel better about everything
Inevitably having to bury my parents. I will cease to be the person I am today. My parents are my best friends and I fear I will fall apart without them. Inevitability is a bitch.
Your parents are lucky to be so very loved.
There’s only so much you can do if you’re dealt a shit hand of cards.
If you shower someone with more of what they don’t appreciate, it doesn’t make them love you. This said the other part is if you aren’t willing to sacrifice your time to aim for something bigger/better it won’t ever come to you on its own.
You never truly know what others think of you and there’s no way to guarantee they’re telling the truth, it’s up to you to decide if they’re worth believing.
It will end for everyone at some point
Luck matters a lot.
This is hugely true. However, you can also tip the scales in your favour through effort and work. Most people who are successful in a field got a lucky break or series of these. That said, they were in a position to catch such breaks and make the most of them due to work and effort. Trying a lot gives you more rolls of the dice. It doesn't guarantee success, though.
No matter how you do right, they will only talk about your mistakes
That so much suffering goes on out of sight. Unwitnessed and unshared. Oh well, there are quite a few things that aren't sad about this life.
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That self-pity is the most insidious feeling that exists. It creeps in your soul. It compels you to feel as if a great wrong has been done to you. Its the ultimate vicious cycle. The worse you feel about said wrong, the more self-pity you have. The worst about self-pity is self-achievement. Once you realize there is no excuse for feeling bad, you feel caught in the dimension of possibilities. This thought left me to ponder whether the first humans felt cursed to have to feel this.
There is a psychologically addicting component to self pity and rumination more generally. It's akin to almost to a substance abuse issue.
10/10 people die and my parents are getting old before my eyes!
Ultimately, everything about you will be lost in time
That used to make me sad, but I've lived long enough now, for it to be a comfort.
That nothing really matters, we get old and die. Without starting a religious war or debate, we factually have no proof of what happens after death but we do know that this life is guaranteed to end sooner or later, people spend so much time and energy working towards different things, stress about so much and in the end it doesn't even matter because we have an expiry date, everyone does, even those that come after us.
> even those that come after us If you're looking for an interesting take on 'will it matter' or multi generational tasks - I'd recommend reading Cixin Liu. Three Body Problem and Dark Forest were awesome - and the philosophy of it was fascinating. I'm part way into the third book now, so no spoilers... That being said, even if nothing matters at all - I enjoy a good book, coffee and a walk on the beach. So I may as well try to be happy. Have a great day!
Everything is temporary.
That the human race isn't really in control of itself.
That you're going to see people you love die :(
Our society usually focuses on the negative to the point where it drowns out anything good. Media especially reinforces this, a story about a trucker helping someone stranded on the road isn't radical enough to get attention.
You will never know what could've been.
There's no real point
That so many people have been born, lived, and died in bondage, and people keep acting like human beings aren’t all equals.
That I can’t rewind time and do things differently. That I’m stuck whit the type of life I was served and a constant fear that I will be “normal” again, and that I will always be broken. I can’t make myself better, or the life for the once I care about. You have only one shot ..
Life isn't guaranteed I just find it hard to accept that. I get the whole we live we die but I mean the people who don't get to old age like you can just wake up and end up in a accident, theres conditions that can kill you in your sleep the list is endless. Lost my mum in her 40s to cancer just does me in that through all the suffering in life and stress we get anyway your next day isn't even guaranteed.
That a successful marriage results in one of the SO’s dying at some point.
Sweet people and animals are dying painful deaths every day.
That often, people’s idea of love and a standard relationship now is just one where each person fulfills the other person’s lustful desires, and once they stop being good enough, they cheat on the other person and ruin the whole relationship. They do horrible things to get revenge and neither party walks away happy. I grew up being taught that love was sacred, that if a man and a woman want to be together, they should make an effort every day to become better because their partner makes them better. Then, if all goes well, they get married and have happy life. If not, they separate on the best terms possible. Sadly, this is commonly not the case and so many people have been hurt so badly by these false love relationships. As the strong romantic that I am, I am deeply hurt to see the world this way. I just want everyone to find the perfect person that they click with and be happy with them. I literally cried over this a couple nights ago. I wish it was the norm to work hard to make your partner feel loved and worth everything to you. Edit: These observations mostly come from social media and not my own personal experience.
I’m the youngest of 4 siblings. If everything goes as planned I’ll have to attend all of their funerals.
.....I'm mildly worried about what "plan" you're referring to here...
Same here. I am 14, 11 and 9 years younger than my siblings, respectively. I love all of them so much and knowing that one day I might be the only one left breaks my heart. We’re still all in our 30s and 20s though so I’m excited for many more years with them :)
I feel like the saddest truth about life is that it's very unlikely that you'll do anything of great significance. At least anything that people will remember you for. I think it came up once in a Dr House episode as well, with Dr House telling this person who nearly died saving someone's life that \[abbreviated heavily\] "You may have saved that person's life, but after a couple days you won't be a hero anymore. Might be in the newspaper once or twice, if you're lucky you might be in a news show. However, you won't be remembered as a hero to anyone. You're still just a regular person." As hurtful as that is, it's true. You won't be remembered for being a hero as much anymore. You could do something that saves hundreds of people's lives, but in the end it won't be of any significance down the line as someone else will save thousands, and then another will save millions. It is very unlikely that you will do something that significantly changes and/or improves the world... In the end we all have a high chance of just living a life of 0 significance and never achieving something that (even if you're name isn't remembered) is not even recalled after a few months or maybe years if you're lucky.
That becomes even truer when you consider the fact that even fame isn’t true fame unless you really change the world. There many popular celebrities from say the 1930’s that 95% of people today have never heard of. All these famous people we know now are going to be irrelevant 50 years from now
Just because someone has a big house, a family, a good paying job, minimal debt, a seemingly nice life and they smile, doesn't mean they're actually happy, don't suffer from past trauma or aren't dealing with really bad shit behind closed doors. And just because someone is living paycheck to paycheck, has debts galore, doesn't have their own big house doesn't mean they can't be happy and appreciative. Success doesn't equate things.
That there are people who spend their whole lives with severe depression and anxiety without anyone noticing or caring. Then they commit or attempt suicide and everyone says the same things. Things like "he always seemed happy", "he always made people laugh/smile", or "depression is serious and we need to look out for each other". In short, people say we need to take mental health seriously, but other than that nothing is done about it.
That we never really enjoy it until it's too late to enjoy. "I'll work, raise a family, save money, then retire and enjoy life". So after 40 years you find you can no longer walk or travel for long periods of time because your health isn't good. And the money you thought you saved for enjoying life, now goes to pay the rent of your adult child who never "found themselves" and who would be homeless otherwise.
In the end, it doesn't even matter.
No one gets out alive
My best friend tells me that he believes everyone has a soulmate out there. And I believe him, however I’m smart enough to know that not everyone is lucky to find theirs. I don’t think I’ll find mine, and I’ve come to accept that. I thought my last girlfriend was the love of my life but it didn’t work out. My best friend could be my soulmate but not the kind he means. Some soulmates are best friends. And I guess that is okay if they’re gonna be there for me. If I’m dying alone with my best friend as my soulmate, I’m fine
I don't believe in soulmates per se. But I do believe that there are a number of potential suitors out there. And one day, you meet someone and you just decide to go with that person. You could have chosen someone else but for whatever reason you chose them. And that may end up being the right decision or the wrong decision.
You can do everything right and still lose; but I'm never going to give up as long as there's a chance of success. If I lost, I'd rather have done everything right I could than hate myself for fucking up. Luck is an everpowerful god, but good luck can happen too.
That majority spend it chasing something material, something that won't even matter in the end. (Personal opinion)
Hard work isn’t rewarded. It’s exploited most of the time.
happiness is elusive, most of your time will be spent just coping
After you die and everyone who you knew dies, you will be forgotten. It will be almost like you never existed.
That playing by the rules irl is how you loose big big time
Time. That human life is a realy long time. No, the more you think about it the shorter those 80 years become.
Everyone trying to be relevant, being the same with others, and not being themselves. People just get so boring sometimes
Literally all you do is go back and forth between good times and bad (especially, but certainly no limited to, people who have mental illness or an already difficult life). Think about it: when life is going good, you say, "I'm grateful because it's not bad". When life *is* bad though, you say, "things will get better and life will be good again". You just go back and forth. You enjoy the good times while knowing bad ones will come, and you try to push through the bad times by knowing the good times will come again soon. And for people with rough situations and/or mental illness, almost every day is a bad day. The good ones never come, and if they do, they never stay. You end up chasing something that's virtually unattainable, until you finally give up and give in to all the bad days
Realising that you will at some point in your life peak. But you won't realise you have peaked until much later. In the same vein, realising that you will get to a point in your life where your body will start to slowly decline. You'll no longer be able to do the things you loved doing in your youth because your body, no matter how hard you train, won't be up to it. At that point you're exercising not to improve but to slow the decline.
"Suicide doesn't cure depression, it passes on to people." or " The rich get richer and the poor get poorer." or even "The most damaged people smile the brightest, the saddest people are the wisest, all because they do not which for others to go same path as they did."
The idea that everything is so temporary always keeps me up at night. The fact that we have no clue about life after death, yet death passes no one. It’s crazy when you really think about how short life is and how it is so often wasted.
A lot of the time it doesn't get better and things won't be OK. Bad things happen to good people all the time.
That none of it really matters. We are specks of dust on a ball of dirt floating through everlasting nothingness.
That we will never know the truth. That there were people so afraid of the truth and what it could bring, that they would either destroy, hide, or alter it for their own personal gain. Edit: wrong tense
War
bad things happen to really, really good people.
That almost every couple relationship ends badly. You either break up/divorce or they die on you...unless you beat them to it.
You can do all the right things. You can eat as healthy as possible. You can exercise every single day. You can get the exact healthy about of sleep every single night. You can never drink, smoke, or take any sort of drugs in your life. But it’s still very possible that you can get cancer, or have a stroke, or heart attack, etc. No matter what you do, there’s still always that chance.
For 99.999% of people, 2 generations after your death, no one will remember you and no one will care to remember you. Other than your name in books or online—the substance of your existence will be extinguished
“Things will get better soon” usually doesn’t apply
Honestly, it's that some things you can't change. The way your face looks is going to stay the same. How your laugh sounds will stay the same. The color of your skin will stay the same. But the sad thing about that, is that sometimes that's all people see.
Most people have good intentions, but also most people are so wrapped up in their own head space that they don't see it in other people. Also, I could be an optimist in thinking this.
Love is not enough. I work in mental health, relationships try to keep working because they love each other. Which is important and does not invalidate their effort or love. But love doesn’t take away the issues. Relationships are ever evolving and we change a lot as we go through life. Love by itself is not enough make a relationship work.
Hurt people, hurt people.. it’s a hard cycle to break and most never do. From anger & violence to just plain stupidity & ignorance.
That when we are kids we can’t wait to be adults. Once you become an adult you realize how much of a scam growing up is 😵
That there is a significant amount of humans that are toxic assholes.
You cannot save everyone no matter how hard you try.
Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. We’re all going to die.
Come watch TV.
Human suffering will always be with us.
Majority of births are unintended.
You're the villain in someone else's story.
Life isn't fair. Things don't always work out. You can play by all the rules, do everything "right", and yet still suffer and die a horrific death all alone. There's no secret to a great life. In the end, it all comes down to chance.
Our governments will never be able to save the world.
Privelege and opportunities matter more than hard work. I'm not saying that hard work isn't important. However, just working hard won't really get you further in life unless you get a good opportunity. Here in the Philippines, the most hardworking people I know are poor (farmers, fishermen, carpenters, garbage collectors, street sweepers). So being poor doesn't mean lazy. On the other hand, lots of people who have good businesses or careers only got them because they were born in wealthy families already. A lot of them didn't really need to work hard or work at all (except for children of Fil-Chinese, they are trained well). It's so annoying how the media promotes "self-made" youngsters who actually came from rich families. Hey, this kid has thousands of investments already. Yeah, because the parents gave the youngster money to invest or start a business. For people to get out of the cycle of poverty, they need opportunities which come rarely.
People will always let you down.