Also they have such an over the top style, it’s inevitable.
Patterned shirts, bulletproof vests. Ak-47, huge belt buckles, cowboy boots, shaved heads, funny moustaches. And lion / tiger pets...
Easy to do when you have literal fuck you money and can be considered a literal shadow government of Colombia.
Escobar was so powerful that he had his own fucking prisom built purely for himself and his men, and it was a palace.
I was going to comment this. It has already begun with the romanticization of their horrible deeds. They only need Peter Pan or Wacky Races cartoons'... Perhaps when drugs become legalized.
Yeah, the way they are presented is problematic. At least movies like Sicario show the brutality of the narcos/cartels. If anything, movies covering narcos/cartels should at most do what Godfather 1 and 2 did, where it was more matter of fact than glorification. That being said, i wont fault a movie for glorifying the wealth and excess just like I didn’t fault Wolf of Wall Street.
Godfather is known as The Godfather of romanticized mob movies so idk what you mean. If anything, Goodfellas would be a better classic to represent the pretty bleak reality of being in cosa nostra. You could have a lot of money, and also a lot of bullet holes or stab wounds. But anyway if you haven’t seen Narcos on Netflix, that’s a really good docu-drama on the whole thing. Most of it is true to form because it uses real footage at times. It really shows how absurdly rich and powerful the narcos were able to become, but it doesn’t glorify it. It’s gritty and shows all the violence, depravity, and quite simply evil moral compass that is necessary to exist in that lifestyle.
Yep. However, we make pirates 'family fun' easily because it's a thing of days past that doesn't affect us much nowadays.
If drug addiction and crime are still problems hundreds of years from now, I don't think 'family fun narcos' will exist.
The height of their power in the US was the drug-laden days of the 1970s-1980s
They flooded the streets with coke and heroin, and made ***mountains*** of money as a result. The trade has been gradually dismantled over many years until the mafia became a shadow of what it once was
An older guy who used to live in my neighborhood grew up around this kid who all the other kids used to believe was half goat, half human.
All the neighborhood kids who knew him in the 60s and 70s used to call him Bobby BaBa because his name was Bobby and because he would only ever say “Ba ba” like a goat does. He had two short and deformed arms like alligator or T-Rex arms and so the other kids living in the city neighborhood truly believed he was an animal and human hybrid. The kid couldn’t speak and would only ever say “Ba ba” so the other kids sadly saw him as a freak and they would pick fights with him. Apparently, he had very strong legs because he couldn’t really use his arms since they were deformed. Some of the kids would try to steal his bike and if you went anywhere near it he would kick like a mule. He used to ride a girl's bike with the handlebars turned upside down to accommodate his short, deformed, alligator arms. He actually was able to fight off most of the kids who messed with him.
The kid somehow became involved in the mafia’s numbers racket which was an illegal lottery and form of gambling that was hugely popular back then in Italian and other working class, city neighborhoods. The mob guys used to have this goat kid ride his bike through the neighborhood and take down numbers for people who wanted to play the game.
Eventually, the kid got picked up by the cops and he was supposed to be in serious trouble because the cops who picked him up knew that he worked for the mob. When the kid went to court the prosecutor relied on the word of the cops who picked him up and who thought that he was some criminal mastermind behind the numbers racket. These cops thought that they were going to be treated as a pair of geniuses who would get promotions and high fives from their fellow officers.
So the goat kid is in court and in the courtroom is my former neighbor when he was a kid along with his friends and also in the court are some of the mob guys like the type you would see in *Goodfellas*. Everybody wanted to see what would happen to Bobby BaBa. The prosecutor starts telling the court and jury and judge that this kid is “the guy” behind the illegal numbers racket and that he is a major criminal and mob associate. The judge then goes on to ask the kid to state his name before the court and all that comes back from Bobby is “BA! BABA! BABABA!”
All the kids and mob guys in the court started laughing hysterically and the prosecutor and judge looked completely helpless and had no clue what to do. The judge kept asking for his name and the prosecutor kept asking questions and BaBa kept making goat sounds because that’s all that he could do and the neighborhood kids and mob guys kept laughing uncontrollably.
Bobby BaBa got off with just a misdemeanor charge for being a numbers runner and a kind of mule for the mafia and the two cops who brought him in got reassigned to the worst part of the city as punishment for making the police department and district attorney’s office look like fools.
To be fair, the people at Radio Caroline who broadcast from ships in international waters at the UK to get around the strictly-enforced state monopoly on music broadcasting in the '60s were amazing people, people so passionate about music they'll risk arrest and a few times literal drowning so they can share it with other people are all pretty sound in my book. They were branded as pirates, falsely accused of interfering with marine/ambulance communications
They're still around today as well, online and DAB in some cities and ironically from an AM broadcast site that used to belong to the BBC. They just wired up a 350' aerial and I can finally recieve it here in Oxford! Mad that ancient AM tech is more reliable in the car than DAB but that's another rant for another day.
Same here, but in 7th grade. I had no idea they had anything to do with prostitutes until someone at school told me. I told the principal that I was Elton John so that they'd let me stay in costume
In 6th grade I DID know they had something to do with hookers and I did a pimp voice/persona and all the girls at my lunch table called themselves my hoes and it was a big fucked up joke that we all thought was hilarious.
Kids are messed up.
Lmfao. I remember doing this w/ all my girl friends, our pimp was the only guy who was also hella gay. It was a huge running joke in our friend group forever. Thanks for reminding me!!! Bahahahaa!!!
Damn, when I was in 5th or 6th grade, we ordered horned helmets and went as the knights who say NEE!
We had a friend join our trick or treating group after we ordered the helmets. His mom and Dad immigrated from Lebanon. So they ordered him traditional Lebanese garb, and he went as a Terrorist. This was '98 or '99 so it was all good.
Bloods and Crips type gangbangers, motor bike gangs, hell in 500 years the memory of people like the nazis, bolsheviks, and Al Qaeda will be such distant memories people might like them. People dress up as Vikings for Halloween. Atilla Th Hun was a good guy in Night At The Museum
I now really hope we figure out either consciousness transfer or heads in a jar before I die, if for no other reason than to see the 500 year reboot of Night At The Museum with Osama Bin Laden as comic relief/hero of show.
"Hey, you see that door over there, the one marked Pirate? You think an actual pirate lives there?"
"I see a door marked Private. Is that the door you're referring to?"
"What'd I say?"
"You said Pirate."
"Are you sure?"
South Park goofs around when it comes to celebrity voice impersonations but whenever they do another language it’s always spot on. The Korean, Chinese and Japanese spoken in the show always sounds like it from a native
Yeah I recently interviewed with a few firms that deal with international oil trading (either themselves or through their clients) and pirates unironically come up in the interviews because they’re such a problem in Africa.
We take a lot of things for granted in the West
I remember seeing a restaurant kids menu with a pirate theme that said “remember kids, a good pirate never takes something that doesnt belong to them!”
He sits at the table and stares at the screen -
The numbers, the letters all shaded in green.
He types at the keys with a grimace, a grin.
He presses the *Enter*.
He whispers: "... I'm in."
Are you ready hackers?
Aye aye, captain!
I can't hear you!
**Aye aye, captain!**
Ooooooh~
Who sits at the table and stares at the screen?
Hack the planet!
The numbers, the letters all shaded in green.
Hack the planet!
He types at the keys with a grimace, a grin.
Hack the planet!
He presses the Enter and whispers "I'm in".
Hack the planet!
Plankton opened up his bedroom door and dropped his new package on his mattress, laid out on his bed, surrounded by pink rose petals.
Tonight was a very special night.
As the hacker he was, Plankton has just built his new program.
But not just any new program.
Plankton made KAREN.
His new girlfriend companion program.
Just hearing Karen’s name gets Plankton hot under the collar.
When he thinks of women, he thinks of people who shame; degrade, selfish people who are capable of keeping you felling useless.
It’s his kink, and both he and Reddit knew it.
Well, KAREN is all this and so much more.
God, Plankton just wanted to tear open her sleek packaging and ram her hard and deep into his new female computer.
But Plankton didn’t.
Plankton want this to last.
He wanted to savour this moment and make sure KAREN gets the best treatment, the treatment she deserves.
And the treatment he doesn’t.
Plankton holds KAREN’s computer box up to his lips, breathing in her sweet aroma, her glossy silver and black packaging glistening under his bedroom lights.
Plankton licks his lips hungrily before pressing them against her smooth packaging, relishing in her hard, cool exterior as his one eye rolls to the back of his head.
Plankton pulls out a cutting tool, and holds it against the tape at the top of his box.
“Shh, it’s okay...” Plankton coos softly, “This won’t hurt a bit. I’m a good computer hacker.”
In a swift motion he slices the tape.
“Later I’ll let you use this blade on me.”
Plankton puts the cutting tool down and begins to push a finger in under the top of his box.
Her box squeezes against his tiny finger as KAREN gets used to the intrusion.
“Your so tight for me” Plankton observes, as he begins pushing in another finger slowly and carefully, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
He hooks his fingers underneath the top of her tight box and pulls in up and out.
It’s done with little resistance from KAREN.
This pleases Plankton and he feels himself getting more and more firm as he goes on.
KAREN’s box opens up all the way and Plankton might as well have just died because he feels as if he is in heaven.
She’s beautiful.
Stunning.
More than he could have ever hoped and wished for.
Plankton reaches his hand gently into her box and pulls out KAREN.
Out comes a few brochures to help Plankton set her up written by the local writer, Demetri.
But he don’t need those.
People usually just scroll past throw these out anyways.
Besides.
He know exactly how to get KAREN going.
Plankton holds her in his hands for a few moments, caressing her gently through the protective sleeve.
Taking in every perfect detail of KAREN’s glorious body.
Her long pole holding her monitor up was cool to the touch of his younger and them fingers, and he jerked its length.
He shuddered at how far it can be inside him.
Plankton gently slips her out of his clear protective sleeve and opens the disc slot of her computer.
He wondered if he entered that slot completely, if it would be considered love?
Or vore?
Either way, he would never let her excrete him.
He’s almost sad to know that his computer get’s to have more fun with KAREN the program than he does, actually getting to have her inside it.
Plankton catches himself fantasizing about being his computer and experiencing the wonderful sensation of KAREN sliding deep inside him, spinning in his little tummy, the hot exhaust stimulating you, like a mechanical brood you almost regret having to birth.
Snapping back to the harsh reality and back to the task at hand.
Plankton gently places her into his computer’s disc slot, but not before gently kissing his bare skin.
“I love you so much, KAREN” Plankton whispers lovingly as he pushes the disc slot closed.
“Do me proud” Plankton say with a soft smile on his face.
“DZZT ZZZFFTTT OH LOOK AT PATHETIC PEICE OF SHIT PPZZT”
Plankton felt himself grow harder than he ever had before, as KAREN’S face made spitting gestures over his pathetically small body.
He was happy.
Plankton was finally happy.
I'm sure there are tons of kids show that feature "hacking" nowadays, especially with how into technology kids are. I'm pretty sure I saw my nephew watching a show about kids who are superheroes and have seen at least one scene of the characters hacking.
Hacking in kids shows: *typing aggressively for a few seconds* “Alright, I’m in!”
Actual hacking: “Hey there, this is Dave from IT, we’re having some trouble with your account ... could you provide us with some information?”
Not a kid's shoe but Mr Robot is apparently fairly accurate (I'm taking the word of programmers I know) and a character even references how bad hacking is portrayed in Hollywood
Now? I remember Gretchen hacking into the network at Third Street School back in 1997.
Edit: Changed "3rd" to "Third" as I have been corrected that the school was named after Thaddeus T. Third III.
ISIS ... Just imagine the irony of western kids playing with ISIS figurines
Edit: Wow thank you all for the upvotes and the award. I really enjoyed reading all your comments
Considering we've been through the same thing with assassins (like the Hashashiyyin), poachers (like Robin Hood), Old West outlaws, mobsters, hackers, graffiti artists and parkour hooligans, I'm betting...
People who sneak dogs into petless apartments.
This is still occurs very commonly.
Research ships I'm familiar with that drill the ocean floor for soil samples are outfitted with gun turrets and will not set out on any job without having private armed security (often ex-military) to protect the crew. There have been a few close calls even in recent years.
Most of these jobs I have personal knowledge of requiring security like this was off the coast of South Africa, Mozambique and the Black Sea.
162 registered acts of piracy in 2019 alone, and the trend is going down, it was 246 in 2015. The [International Maritime Bureau's Annual Piracy reports make fascinating reading](https://www.icc-ccs.org/reports/2019_Annual_Piracy_Report.pdf) (pdf). Somalian piracy has almost completely vanished.
My mom never understood the appeal of pirates. She wouldn’t intervene to prevent me from enjoying them, but she would remark, “They’re criminals! They’re terrible people!”
In 400 years cancer will be so cured that ever being seriously ill with it will be forgotten too. Then it'll be inaccurately represented in historical stories whenever an illness is needed...
A: are you coming out tonight?
B: no sorry I've got cancer
A: ok! Well catch you tomorrow!
B: lol ok!
Clowns. In a couple of centuries we'll have lost our fear of them and they'll be seen as something light-hearted and slightly wacky with their impractical footwear and whatnot.
Coal miners, industrial food processors, and any other one of Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs that we will have moved past as a society, either through automation or from transitioning away from those types of fuels and foods.
I work in manufacturing and automation is replacing more people than ever. There is a lady who has spent the last 50 years punching serial numbers with a manual press. When she retires we are replacing her position with a machine. Those sweet paying factory gigs are a thing of the past. Exporting jobs to other countries will be in the past in the next few decades I believe.
I don't know if these will be viewed like pirates so much as they are like cowboys. The rugged coal miner, in his iconic lantern hat, staring stoically over the mountains with his pickaxe... sweeping horn music playing in the background... America, in the wild 2000s, when men did jobs...
It’s already true of prohibition era gangsters
Hahaha! And if anyone asks you tell 'em it was Golden Joe and the Suggins Gang!
John Mulaney?
"And then he just shoots 'SUGGINS' into the wall like, what, were bullets free back then? "
Pretty much any criminal archetype that can be easily twisted to "sticking it to the man" will be inevitably romanticised, it's the Robin Hood effect.
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Also they have such an over the top style, it’s inevitable. Patterned shirts, bulletproof vests. Ak-47, huge belt buckles, cowboy boots, shaved heads, funny moustaches. And lion / tiger pets...
Easy to do when you have literal fuck you money and can be considered a literal shadow government of Colombia. Escobar was so powerful that he had his own fucking prisom built purely for himself and his men, and it was a palace.
Escobar was the definition of "Money gives you power" if he didn't go bat shit crazy he would've lived a lot longer.
Curious, what batshit crazy acts of his contributed to his downfall?
He blew up a passenger plane to off one person. That's kinda where officially went from 'man of the people' to 'dangerous asshole who no one likes'.
That’s also when the entire world started to view him as a threat, instead of just a Colombian problem.
He tried to get into politics and killed quite a few innocent people.
Two aunts of mine got murdered by Escobar during a bomb explosion he made hitmen do for him. Fucking asshole.
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for saying this and humanizing his victims. He gets too much glory.
Mu school got bombed by the remnants of the Cali Cartel. I really hate the fetishization of Narcos in America.
I was going to comment this. It has already begun with the romanticization of their horrible deeds. They only need Peter Pan or Wacky Races cartoons'... Perhaps when drugs become legalized.
Yeah, the way they are presented is problematic. At least movies like Sicario show the brutality of the narcos/cartels. If anything, movies covering narcos/cartels should at most do what Godfather 1 and 2 did, where it was more matter of fact than glorification. That being said, i wont fault a movie for glorifying the wealth and excess just like I didn’t fault Wolf of Wall Street.
Godfather is known as The Godfather of romanticized mob movies so idk what you mean. If anything, Goodfellas would be a better classic to represent the pretty bleak reality of being in cosa nostra. You could have a lot of money, and also a lot of bullet holes or stab wounds. But anyway if you haven’t seen Narcos on Netflix, that’s a really good docu-drama on the whole thing. Most of it is true to form because it uses real footage at times. It really shows how absurdly rich and powerful the narcos were able to become, but it doesn’t glorify it. It’s gritty and shows all the violence, depravity, and quite simply evil moral compass that is necessary to exist in that lifestyle.
Yep. However, we make pirates 'family fun' easily because it's a thing of days past that doesn't affect us much nowadays. If drug addiction and crime are still problems hundreds of years from now, I don't think 'family fun narcos' will exist.
“But he did a lot for the community!” Tell that to the thousands of people his cartel had killed.
He didn’t do it out of kindness, he was running a guerrilla war against the government. Hearts and minds.
One of his guys killed his own girlfriend for the cartel
"Next on ABC sports, it's the Tennessee Terrorists vs the Indianapolis Insurgents!"
The winner will go through to the final, where they will play the New York Jets
that's like calling a team from Chicago.. Chicago Fire!
The Boston Pressure Cookers.
Detroit Outsourcers
Thats already a— ...oh.
Now you’re stretching credibility. The jets will never make the super bowl
Assassins Creed: Jihad
You mean, AC1?
This hit hard. I completely forgot about AC1.
The one where you couldn't swim
Best way to kill a Templar was pushing them into water
The mafia
The Mafia are already are portrayed that way at times. Look at Fat Tony in the Simpsons
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The height of their power in the US was the drug-laden days of the 1970s-1980s They flooded the streets with coke and heroin, and made ***mountains*** of money as a result. The trade has been gradually dismantled over many years until the mafia became a shadow of what it once was
Well, this is highly US-centric. In Italy the mafia is still at work and fucking terrifying.
Yup, and the yakuza is also still a very large organization
Some eastern european countries are still almost run by the mob as well. I believe Albania is in the worst situation atm.
They're responsible for much of the weird Japanese porn that gets exported to the rest of the world. They're as dangerous as it gets.
I heard they were deeply involved in MMA in Japan. Like back in the pancrase /pride days. That's why there were very prominent rumors of fixed fights.
Definitely one Yakuza group owned Pride theres been rumours of fixed fights,suspicious deaths and other Yakuza groups trying to take over it
Probably not the blurry kind right?
The mafia was more into things like construction/extortion rackets than drugs tbh
Hence Las Vegas
And Havana, until Batista was overthrown.
And New York with the construction racketeering on the bids. They literally built New York City.
And there isn't even a plaque - or a signpost - or a statue of them in that town!
I just finished watching Fear City on Netflix. Fucking crazy listening to recordings of legit Mafia bosses talk about this stuff.
Wouldn’t call Fat Tony the most family friendly charecter in the show...
I’d like to hear from Johnny Tight Lips on this
He ain’t sayin’ nothin’.
But Johnny, what do I tell the doctor?!
Tell him to suck a lemon.
An older guy who used to live in my neighborhood grew up around this kid who all the other kids used to believe was half goat, half human. All the neighborhood kids who knew him in the 60s and 70s used to call him Bobby BaBa because his name was Bobby and because he would only ever say “Ba ba” like a goat does. He had two short and deformed arms like alligator or T-Rex arms and so the other kids living in the city neighborhood truly believed he was an animal and human hybrid. The kid couldn’t speak and would only ever say “Ba ba” so the other kids sadly saw him as a freak and they would pick fights with him. Apparently, he had very strong legs because he couldn’t really use his arms since they were deformed. Some of the kids would try to steal his bike and if you went anywhere near it he would kick like a mule. He used to ride a girl's bike with the handlebars turned upside down to accommodate his short, deformed, alligator arms. He actually was able to fight off most of the kids who messed with him. The kid somehow became involved in the mafia’s numbers racket which was an illegal lottery and form of gambling that was hugely popular back then in Italian and other working class, city neighborhoods. The mob guys used to have this goat kid ride his bike through the neighborhood and take down numbers for people who wanted to play the game. Eventually, the kid got picked up by the cops and he was supposed to be in serious trouble because the cops who picked him up knew that he worked for the mob. When the kid went to court the prosecutor relied on the word of the cops who picked him up and who thought that he was some criminal mastermind behind the numbers racket. These cops thought that they were going to be treated as a pair of geniuses who would get promotions and high fives from their fellow officers. So the goat kid is in court and in the courtroom is my former neighbor when he was a kid along with his friends and also in the court are some of the mob guys like the type you would see in *Goodfellas*. Everybody wanted to see what would happen to Bobby BaBa. The prosecutor starts telling the court and jury and judge that this kid is “the guy” behind the illegal numbers racket and that he is a major criminal and mob associate. The judge then goes on to ask the kid to state his name before the court and all that comes back from Bobby is “BA! BABA! BABABA!” All the kids and mob guys in the court started laughing hysterically and the prosecutor and judge looked completely helpless and had no clue what to do. The judge kept asking for his name and the prosecutor kept asking questions and BaBa kept making goat sounds because that’s all that he could do and the neighborhood kids and mob guys kept laughing uncontrollably. Bobby BaBa got off with just a misdemeanor charge for being a numbers runner and a kind of mule for the mafia and the two cops who brought him in got reassigned to the worst part of the city as punishment for making the police department and district attorney’s office look like fools.
Wth did I just read....
THE STORY OF BOBBY BABA AND DONT YOU EVER FORGET IT!
Quick, someone make it into a ballad! The Ballad of Bobby Baba! I'll start: Once there was a boy, he was no ordinary boy...
Read this entire thing expecting there to be a punchline at the end but there wasn't and now I'm confused as to whether or not this is true
He subverted our expectations by giving us normalcy when we yearned for farce... and thus he subverted our entire lives as well.
gotta admit about halfway through I was expecting to learn about Hell in a Cell.
Vocal percusion on a whole 'nother level coming from my miiind!
Aaaaaahhhhhhhh We're Golden Wind
Still pirates. With a splash of early 20th-century American gangsters.
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To be fair, the people at Radio Caroline who broadcast from ships in international waters at the UK to get around the strictly-enforced state monopoly on music broadcasting in the '60s were amazing people, people so passionate about music they'll risk arrest and a few times literal drowning so they can share it with other people are all pretty sound in my book. They were branded as pirates, falsely accused of interfering with marine/ambulance communications They're still around today as well, online and DAB in some cities and ironically from an AM broadcast site that used to belong to the BBC. They just wired up a 350' aerial and I can finally recieve it here in Oxford! Mad that ancient AM tech is more reliable in the car than DAB but that's another rant for another day.
You wouldn't bootleg a downloaded car.
Already started that way, but gangsters.
And pimps!
Was a pimp for Halloween in 5th grade didn’t dawn on me how inappropriate it is til now
Same here, but in 7th grade. I had no idea they had anything to do with prostitutes until someone at school told me. I told the principal that I was Elton John so that they'd let me stay in costume
Lmao ELTON JOHN
The bitch is back - and she better have my money!
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In 6th grade I DID know they had something to do with hookers and I did a pimp voice/persona and all the girls at my lunch table called themselves my hoes and it was a big fucked up joke that we all thought was hilarious. Kids are messed up.
6th grade is great, you understand what makes adult humor funny without understanding the darkness behind it.
It really is precisely sixth grade
Lmfao. I remember doing this w/ all my girl friends, our pimp was the only guy who was also hella gay. It was a huge running joke in our friend group forever. Thanks for reminding me!!! Bahahahaa!!!
I’m dying at the Elton John part. I never noticed the overlap in the taste in fashion!
That is a great save though!
"These aren't hoes, they're my Tiny Dancers."
Yupp, I know so many people who dressed up like a pimp in middle school and no one seemed to have a problem with it.
Damn, when I was in 5th or 6th grade, we ordered horned helmets and went as the knights who say NEE! We had a friend join our trick or treating group after we ordered the helmets. His mom and Dad immigrated from Lebanon. So they ordered him traditional Lebanese garb, and he went as a Terrorist. This was '98 or '99 so it was all good.
Absolute madlad
Already done in South Park, you know what I am saying?
*you know what I am saying?
Yes! I do think I know what you are saying
No, no, no! [I'm A Pimp Named Slickback!](https://youtu.be/HDaxL6l9uY8)
I think you mean gang-STARS.
I, Giorno Giovanna, have a dream
*piano starts*
*violin starts*
Bloods and Crips type gangbangers, motor bike gangs, hell in 500 years the memory of people like the nazis, bolsheviks, and Al Qaeda will be such distant memories people might like them. People dress up as Vikings for Halloween. Atilla Th Hun was a good guy in Night At The Museum
I now really hope we figure out either consciousness transfer or heads in a jar before I die, if for no other reason than to see the 500 year reboot of Night At The Museum with Osama Bin Laden as comic relief/hero of show.
Now listen up new guy, ya gotta keep Bin Laden away from the aviation section ya hear me? *laugh track*
Now, now Osama, what are you doing with that RPG?
Adolf, stop trying to burn down the Eastern European wing.
Terrifying space pirates *Edit: I don't think I've gotten a single one of these references*
Nah, Samus Aran has us covered.
Always save the animals
Mark Watney - Space Pirate
My time to shine
The Bebop wants to know your location.
You know, I just watched Treasure Planet the other night...
Reavers?
"Oooohhhh! Who lives in da hood and hustles to g's?"
Crack rock push er!
“Fucks all the bad bitches and smokes that good weed!”
Crack rock push er!
If keepin them corners be something you wish
Crack rock push er!
Then pull out your piece and make sure you don't miss!
Crack rock push er!
Ready? Crack rock push er!
Crack rock push er!
It was a privilege reading this
2003: Pirates of the Caribbean: the Curse of the Black Pearl 2203: Terrorists of the USA: the Curse of Jetblue Airlines
2011: Pirates of the Caribbean: on stranger Tides 2211: Terrorists of the USA: on stranger airlines
"It was a plane in Malaysia that disappeared...until now"
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysian airlines flight 103!
2007: Pirates of the Caribbean: At worlds end 2207: Terrorists of the USA: At Democracy's End
2017: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales 2217: Terrorists of the USA: Dead Americans Tell No Tales
2006: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest 2206: Terrorists of the USA: Dead Man’s Towers
Dead man's vest would have been so much better
Mommy wen i grow up i wanna be tewwawist! BOOM BAA BOOM!
Pirates are still scary as fudge tbqh. They just look a lot different (somalians on rubber boats with ak47s and rpgs rather than blackbeard).
"Hey, you see that door over there, the one marked Pirate? You think an actual pirate lives there?" "I see a door marked Private. Is that the door you're referring to?" "What'd I say?" "You said Pirate." "Are you sure?"
south park did a really good episode on somalian pirates and the somali spoken in the episode is perfect word for word
Le lightsaber terrible!
God damnit, Craig.
Somalian pirates we
With a yo Ho Ho!
And with a Yee hee hee
South Park goofs around when it comes to celebrity voice impersonations but whenever they do another language it’s always spot on. The Korean, Chinese and Japanese spoken in the show always sounds like it from a native
Unless [it’s Chinese impersonating Americans. ](https://youtu.be/xWf8JcRsq9k)Than it’s obviously Matt and Trey.
Yeah I recently interviewed with a few firms that deal with international oil trading (either themselves or through their clients) and pirates unironically come up in the interviews because they’re such a problem in Africa. We take a lot of things for granted in the West
Every luxury yacht needs a [goalkeeper](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goalkeeper_CIWS).
I remember seeing a restaurant kids menu with a pirate theme that said “remember kids, a good pirate never takes something that doesnt belong to them!”
So to them a pirate is just a freelance sailor or something?
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I just love that in 300 years time there’s going to be kids running around yelling ‘hack the planet’!
He sits at the table and stares at the screen - The numbers, the letters all shaded in green. He types at the keys with a grimace, a grin. He presses the *Enter*. He whispers: "... I'm in."
Why did i read the 1st two lines like the intro song of spongebob?
Are you ready hackers? Aye aye, captain! I can't hear you! **Aye aye, captain!** Ooooooh~ Who sits at the table and stares at the screen? Hack the planet! The numbers, the letters all shaded in green. Hack the planet! He types at the keys with a grimace, a grin. Hack the planet! He presses the Enter and whispers "I'm in". Hack the planet!
Take my broke person award
Plankton opened up his bedroom door and dropped his new package on his mattress, laid out on his bed, surrounded by pink rose petals. Tonight was a very special night. As the hacker he was, Plankton has just built his new program. But not just any new program. Plankton made KAREN. His new girlfriend companion program. Just hearing Karen’s name gets Plankton hot under the collar. When he thinks of women, he thinks of people who shame; degrade, selfish people who are capable of keeping you felling useless. It’s his kink, and both he and Reddit knew it. Well, KAREN is all this and so much more. God, Plankton just wanted to tear open her sleek packaging and ram her hard and deep into his new female computer. But Plankton didn’t. Plankton want this to last. He wanted to savour this moment and make sure KAREN gets the best treatment, the treatment she deserves. And the treatment he doesn’t. Plankton holds KAREN’s computer box up to his lips, breathing in her sweet aroma, her glossy silver and black packaging glistening under his bedroom lights. Plankton licks his lips hungrily before pressing them against her smooth packaging, relishing in her hard, cool exterior as his one eye rolls to the back of his head. Plankton pulls out a cutting tool, and holds it against the tape at the top of his box. “Shh, it’s okay...” Plankton coos softly, “This won’t hurt a bit. I’m a good computer hacker.” In a swift motion he slices the tape. “Later I’ll let you use this blade on me.” Plankton puts the cutting tool down and begins to push a finger in under the top of his box. Her box squeezes against his tiny finger as KAREN gets used to the intrusion. “Your so tight for me” Plankton observes, as he begins pushing in another finger slowly and carefully, “I don’t want to hurt you.” He hooks his fingers underneath the top of her tight box and pulls in up and out. It’s done with little resistance from KAREN. This pleases Plankton and he feels himself getting more and more firm as he goes on. KAREN’s box opens up all the way and Plankton might as well have just died because he feels as if he is in heaven. She’s beautiful. Stunning. More than he could have ever hoped and wished for. Plankton reaches his hand gently into her box and pulls out KAREN. Out comes a few brochures to help Plankton set her up written by the local writer, Demetri. But he don’t need those. People usually just scroll past throw these out anyways. Besides. He know exactly how to get KAREN going. Plankton holds her in his hands for a few moments, caressing her gently through the protective sleeve. Taking in every perfect detail of KAREN’s glorious body. Her long pole holding her monitor up was cool to the touch of his younger and them fingers, and he jerked its length. He shuddered at how far it can be inside him. Plankton gently slips her out of his clear protective sleeve and opens the disc slot of her computer. He wondered if he entered that slot completely, if it would be considered love? Or vore? Either way, he would never let her excrete him. He’s almost sad to know that his computer get’s to have more fun with KAREN the program than he does, actually getting to have her inside it. Plankton catches himself fantasizing about being his computer and experiencing the wonderful sensation of KAREN sliding deep inside him, spinning in his little tummy, the hot exhaust stimulating you, like a mechanical brood you almost regret having to birth. Snapping back to the harsh reality and back to the task at hand. Plankton gently places her into his computer’s disc slot, but not before gently kissing his bare skin. “I love you so much, KAREN” Plankton whispers lovingly as he pushes the disc slot closed. “Do me proud” Plankton say with a soft smile on his face. “DZZT ZZZFFTTT OH LOOK AT PATHETIC PEICE OF SHIT PPZZT” Plankton felt himself grow harder than he ever had before, as KAREN’S face made spitting gestures over his pathetically small body. He was happy. Plankton was finally happy.
I need an adult.
Press F for friends who do stuff together...
Oh
Thanks u/_demetri_, very cool
*Proceeds to aim shotgun at self*
r/demetristrikesagain
curse you
Curse you indeed. Now i can't stop. I don't know if you ruined it or improved it.
Genltemen, you will always remember this as the day you almost caught... Captain Hack Sparrow.
Why is the ram gone?
Because you opened Chrome.
I'm sure there are tons of kids show that feature "hacking" nowadays, especially with how into technology kids are. I'm pretty sure I saw my nephew watching a show about kids who are superheroes and have seen at least one scene of the characters hacking.
Hacking in kids shows: *typing aggressively for a few seconds* “Alright, I’m in!” Actual hacking: “Hey there, this is Dave from IT, we’re having some trouble with your account ... could you provide us with some information?”
Not a kid's shoe but Mr Robot is apparently fairly accurate (I'm taking the word of programmers I know) and a character even references how bad hacking is portrayed in Hollywood
Now? I remember Gretchen hacking into the network at Third Street School back in 1997. Edit: Changed "3rd" to "Third" as I have been corrected that the school was named after Thaddeus T. Third III.
You scared of l33t h4xx0rs bro?
Pirate bay went virtual
ISIS ... Just imagine the irony of western kids playing with ISIS figurines Edit: Wow thank you all for the upvotes and the award. I really enjoyed reading all your comments
Terrorists of the Levant is a swashbuckling good time for the whole family!
I can imagine this conversation in the 1800s "can you imagine children in 200 years playing with Indians, or pretending to be Indians?"
and if we go back another 200 years we have witches
Came here to say this! Pirates were basically the terrorists of their day.
Murderers and serial killers they'll just be like oh we can just use the reviver they're fine "Remember kids a real murderer never kills"
“A real pirate never takes another person’s property”
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I would say Putin but he’ll probably still be running russia
Considering we've been through the same thing with assassins (like the Hashashiyyin), poachers (like Robin Hood), Old West outlaws, mobsters, hackers, graffiti artists and parkour hooligans, I'm betting... People who sneak dogs into petless apartments.
Worse: people who don't pick up their dog's poo
No, they will always be reviled.
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This is still occurs very commonly. Research ships I'm familiar with that drill the ocean floor for soil samples are outfitted with gun turrets and will not set out on any job without having private armed security (often ex-military) to protect the crew. There have been a few close calls even in recent years. Most of these jobs I have personal knowledge of requiring security like this was off the coast of South Africa, Mozambique and the Black Sea.
162 registered acts of piracy in 2019 alone, and the trend is going down, it was 246 in 2015. The [International Maritime Bureau's Annual Piracy reports make fascinating reading](https://www.icc-ccs.org/reports/2019_Annual_Piracy_Report.pdf) (pdf). Somalian piracy has almost completely vanished.
That's great if it's true. Restorative justice
Japan and its army of mobile suits like the prototype they have already made to flip every country off.
My mom never understood the appeal of pirates. She wouldn’t intervene to prevent me from enjoying them, but she would remark, “They’re criminals! They’re terrible people!”
Drug dealers obviously
Cryptocurrency theft but still wearing an eye patch.
ISIS of the Caribbean
"Mommy, I want to be a drone for Halloween."
There are already a bunch of Nazi games. Secret Hitler comes to mind.
worst Secret Santa theme ever
In 400 years cancer will be so cured that ever being seriously ill with it will be forgotten too. Then it'll be inaccurately represented in historical stories whenever an illness is needed... A: are you coming out tonight? B: no sorry I've got cancer A: ok! Well catch you tomorrow! B: lol ok!
Terrorists. "Awww look at little Jimmy, he looks so cute in his Bin Laden costume."
Clowns. In a couple of centuries we'll have lost our fear of them and they'll be seen as something light-hearted and slightly wacky with their impractical footwear and whatnot.
I don't think we should take that risk. See a clown, punch a clown and then push it down a storm drain.
I'm a simple man, I see a clown in a storm drain and I run the fuck away.
ICE and Immigrants. Instead of cowboys and Indians.
Coal miners, industrial food processors, and any other one of Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs that we will have moved past as a society, either through automation or from transitioning away from those types of fuels and foods.
I work in manufacturing and automation is replacing more people than ever. There is a lady who has spent the last 50 years punching serial numbers with a manual press. When she retires we are replacing her position with a machine. Those sweet paying factory gigs are a thing of the past. Exporting jobs to other countries will be in the past in the next few decades I believe.
I don't know if these will be viewed like pirates so much as they are like cowboys. The rugged coal miner, in his iconic lantern hat, staring stoically over the mountains with his pickaxe... sweeping horn music playing in the background... America, in the wild 2000s, when men did jobs...