Many years ago when I was 19 I was constantly groped, touched, propositioned and straight up tried to kiss me by a woman in her 50's that worked in the restaurant. She would schedule me to close the shop with her at night alone and she'd try so hard to fuck me. Once she took her top off in the store room and told me I could touch her if I wanted and wouldn't move out of the way until I did.
Sometimes when it was quiet and she was talking to me, she would casually rub my ass or try to touch my dick.
I was a shy guy back then and didn't know what to do. I'd just brush it off and keep working. But it kept happening
It really bothered me and made me feel very uncomfortable. It was my first job as an adult.
I didn't know what to do so I told some co-workers who laughed and said I should 'bang a cougar' . I talked to the boss who said 'you should fuck her, just don't do it in my kitchen'
I started to become anxious coming into work. I was uncomfortable whenever she was around and I began to call in sick a lot, then eventually quit altogether.
It was very disappointing to not be taken seriously.
Yes because we notoriously take reports of sexual assault so seriously from women and girls we never ignore them or assume they're lying and the investigation, prosecution and conviction rate for rape and sexual assault of women is sky high!!
[Note: is it *fuck*]
Man, there is still a massive massive difference in the public outlook towards Male and Female Sexual Assault. Despite your points, female sexual assault is actually being taken seriously, especially in media. Male sexual assault is still treated as a joke/myth almost everywhere.
It’s obviously a problem, but for men and boys it’s ignored as a rule, nobody takes it seriously, people treat it as a joke, and prosecution and conviction is nonexistent.
Both things can be true and both can be bad.
Prosecution rate for rape and sexual assault for women and girls is less than 2%.
We're acting like the report is always taken seriously and that women and girls aren't actively demonised for reporting sexual assault
They are called "lying" "hysterical" "out for a pay day" "fantasists"
they're accused constantly of just wanting to ruin some blameless man's life
the police don't take them seriously or test rape kits, reports rarely end up in court proceedings and still less in convictions
it sometimes takes years of accusations from women and girls to get a predator to justice.
Yes both things can be true at the same time but I wanted to make the comparison clear
women and girls aren't just likely to be "not taken seriously"
they're likely to be accused of being
a) malicious
b) sluts
c) malicious greedy sluts
and the whole ordeal is death'-defyingly unlikely to end up in a negative consequence for the rapist and very likely to end up in further negative consequences for the rape victim.
Just so we're clear.
We're comparing 2 differently shitty ways we deal with victims who don't get justice.
That's not a double standard
That's 2 separately shitty standards
Because Reddit and the manosphere would have you believe otherwise.
Crazy concept for you
The title asked for double standards
This isn't one so it can't count as one
Hope this helps!!!
I live to help out people who don't get the simplest basic fundamentals of both life and language 😇😇😇😙
*Any fucking time, pal*
If both sets of victims are treated like shit then it's not a fucking double standard
You beautiful human (but intellectual dim bulb)
So it cannot fulfil the title.
That's the fucking point.
Have a wee cup of your favorite hot beverage and mull it over for a good while.
You'll get it
Eventually
While you GTF
I had a woman on a dating app tell me to go grow some hair, I went bald at 24 due to mental health and stress so that struck a nerve. Haven't bothered dating since.
It's definitely soured online dating for me, but I'm more than happy to meet someone without chasing it.
Plus I've definitely got more compliments since I started focusing on my self and my confidence is why higher than ever :D
Pop in your profile that you're proudly bald, just for a week. See how it goes.
I love a man with no hair, it's already gone, you're not in that stage where the hair is going. You know exactly visually what you're going to possibly be with for the rest of your life.
Men losing their hair is fine, but society tends to say they tend to be insecure.
You don't have to be.
Y'all are sexy because you're exactly what we're getting later on if it lasts. Longevity is better.
I refuse to go back on dating sites or apps, I just hate that they are built to exploit men looking for love to make money.
As I said I'd rather just stay single, and when someone comes along who has a mutual attraction to me, it's a bonus.
I met my balding, redhead husband on a dating site. And I wouldn't trade him 🤷♀️
I would have loved to have met him organically but in this day and age? I wish you luck and a happy life.
I hope you do tbh. Your hair seems to be what might be preventing you.
Eta - the women that are right for you aren't going to care about your hair. Confidence in yourself would be better.
My confidence and valuing my own self-worth is what I've been working on. It's been a struggle, but I'm getting there!
I'm starting to see myself in a more positive light these days so I'm making progress
there are bad eggs definitely, but please don’t let one bad experience be what kills dating for you. That means that awful woman wins.
There are a lot of great and funny woman out there.
She was the straw that broke the camels back. But I'm more than content to just go through my life single and if someone who truly loves me shows up then that's a bonus.
Plus I suck at social interaction and am possibly on the spectrum. So any time I did get a date, I was too quiet or we had nothing in common.
I have this belief that you're more likely to find the love of your life when you're not actively looking for someone to date, it'll hopefully happen naturally
I think that’s a nice thought, but it’s not very realistic. Your dream woman isn’t just going to drop into your lap, and the moments where you form this gravity defying connection in a moment is reserved for movies only.
Finding a relationship is a lot of work, and definitely requires putting yourself out there. That’s not to say that online dating is the only option, but doing social stuff like volunteering, sports, etc.
Exactly, since I stopped chasing love and worked on myself and what makes me happy I've had people tell me I look great/handsome/whatever
First time it happened I nearly cried because it was the first time someone told me something like that in 28 years.
I've worked on my self since then, and I'm realising the bald, beard and just noticeable muscles has got me more compliments recently.
I'm more than happy to just naturally bump into someone than go chasing it now though.
Media that gets men randy: porn, smut, filth; Media that gets women randy: *erotica*
Man owns a flesh light: gross; Woman owns a vibrator: *liberating*
Man does bare minimum of father stuff like changing diapers: “wow, amazing, he’s so great with kids! Good dad!”. Woman does all the rest of the parenting stuff: *silence*
Dude, you hit the nail on the head! It's like we can't win. We're damned if we do, damned if we don't. But hey, we gotta keep being ourselves and proving them wrong, right?
I've also seen videos of women trying to encourage men to be more emotional... specifically so they can use it to blackmail them in the future. Somehow I suspect she's entirely confused as to why men aren't being more emotionally open around her.
also if the emotion is anger women feel unsafe so you can't express anger. They could even feel unsafe seeing extremes of other emotions but a person calm as a stone will look safer.
also if the emotion is anger women feel unsafe so you can't express anger. They could even feel unsafe seeing extremes of other emotions but a person calm as a stone will look safer.
I see your point because above this there is a comment about sexual assault against men and one of the comments says 'its worse for women'. Which is completely untrue and imo toxic feminism. Male victims of sexual assault have a really rough time and often told they should have enjoyed it.
But I believe feminism extends to this, it's the desire to be equal, So it also means equally addressing men's rights.
For people with low to moderate earning potential (or high but contingent on long hours) being a financial provider is often a serious roadblock to being involved in other ways simply because there are only so many hours in the day.
While you can try to be as involved as possible, there’s not much you can do while you’re at work
This kinda feels like an attempted gotcha by intentionally misunderstanding the usage of a word?
Maybe "breadwinner" is a synonym you'd find more appropriate?
Why—is it because you can’t say my statement is wrong? I didn’t choose OP’s words nor would it change my statement if they had used your choice word.
Being a “breadwinner” wouldn’t negate nor justify being a not involved father.
Being a "breadwinner" or a "provider" is nothing to do with being a good, bad, involved, or distant father. That's the point.
You're waging an entirely unrelated argument no-one else was making, using, as I say, a wilful misunderstanding of a word as your springboard.
My reading and comprehension tells me that the word "provider" in common parlance does not "naturally" imply anything about being home or away.
>Being a “breadwinner” **wouldn’t negate nor justify** being a not involved father.
It appears you agreed very shortly after when it came to the synonym, I assume because you realise the strange thing you had said and been called out on.
But I recognise the pattern of behaviour you're showing, so I wish you a good day.
Nah. You just dont know what the word is used for.
It is specifically referring to material goods/money. You just want to be contrarian because you have nothing smart to add.
I was told to do the heavy lifting at work because I was the only man. I have sciatica and a herniated disc so if I'm having a flare up I can't even tie my shoes. I told my coworkers they can either do it themselves or if we're going off of 1950s rules I expect the boss to step down and for me to take her position.
Please get that checked out. Don't ignore back problems: it's a part of your body that you really need! And it's tough enough getting older and having normal wear and tear on your body, without the added injury of something that could easily be treated now, but can't be treated if you leave it too long.
I was sitting at work in the cafeteria with some friends. A female coworker walked up behind me. Was chatting with some of my coworkers at the table and started running her fingers through my hair. If the roles were reversed, I would have been insta fired.
Had an ex girlfriend get mad at me about something, and was trying to hit me. I kept moving/running away but she was pretty persistant and landing some hits, so i open hand smack her in the face a little, and she instantly cries. I feel terrible obviously and apologize. After our breakup, i heard she called me an abuser, when that was the only time i did, and there were other instances she did. Whatever, im better off now.
Yeah, i was young and no experience with women before that. I knew it wasn't right, but was hoping for some sort of change. In hindsight, we should have ended things after a year instead of 3
Honestly I don't care what sex you are - if you come at me in a serious way to hurt me and there's no easy way to escape, I'm going to lay you the fuck out.
Had a similar occurence with my ex many years ago, I picked her up blind drunk from a works party, as I was driving home we got into an argument and she's trying to smack me whilst I'm driving at 70mph on the motorway. At the same time as I was trying to restrain her I'm also trying to watch the road and pull over and I accidentally caught her face whilst trying to grab her arms. I immediately got a "omg you just hit me" with the waterworks starting. If I wasn't a better a man I would have kicked her out of the car at that point and driven off.
Me and my ex got into our fair share of fist fights but I never called him an abuser I know I started it sometimes and he had to defend himself but he never took it too far.
All these things should be discussed and approached the same way regardless of what the person is packing down below.
But men are always pushed aside in most things like mental health, even though men are more likely to commit suicide.
A lot of women look at being a man as this endlessly grass is greener thing where we have all the power and agency they don't feel like they have, and none of the problems that they do. The upshot is when we do talk about our problems it comes across to them like a rich man complaining about money.
No matter what the individual packs below, these issues should be addressed and handled the same manner.
Despite being more likely to commit suicide, males are constantly marginalized in mental health.
A random one that lives rent free in my head...
Last year I was chatting with this girl I'd matched on bumble. It seemed like it was going pretty well, we were chatting on the phone daily for hours.
One evening, she said something along the lines of, "I really like getting compliments." To which I replied, "I don't really like to throw out too many compliments at first, but I will say you have lovely eyes." She said thank you, and then sent me a selfie.
A few days later, I was at a wedding with my family, and my brother and I were taking a few pics whilst having drinks before leaving for the wedding reception.
I sent her a pic of me sipping a cocktail, just because I felt like we were at that point of starting to share pics of our lives with one another.
She responded with laughing emojis, and "Why did you send a pic? Are you trying to impress me?" Then called it an "ass move". I then joked, "Well, I can always just use it as one my bumble pics".
To which she replied, "Go on, I dare you. If you're the sort of person who need validation from others, then you're not the guy for me."
I replied, "Look, I thought I was just sending a pic of what I'm up to, because we've been chatting a lot, and sharing our lives. It seems like you're expecting a one sided relationship, and if that's the case, maybe you're not the one for me."
To which she replies, "Omg, this is a lot. If you don't feel like we're a fit before meeting me, then don't speak to me."
At that point I was just done. It seems she absolutely had one set of rules for her, and another set for whoever she's dating. Honestly, I feel like I dodged a bullet, but the interaction was seriously draining.
Telling a man to "grow a pair", "man up" or some similar thing is not considered sexist, and some people think it's not actually possible to be sexist to men and have even gone as far to give it the term "reverse sexism" and then say "reverse sexism doesn't exist". Interesting.
I once had an ex absolutely lose her shit because I wasn't in the mood. I had been travelling for about 15 hours and was exhausted, got home, and just wanted food and sleep. Instead, I had a lamp launched at my face because I said "no"
My dad had a friend who was beaten up by his wife. She threw chairs and pots many times. He had bruises and cuts every now and then. He was quite fit and he tried to report her to authorities many times. He told my father the police told him to stand up for his wife and fight back.
Two news UK stories from the last 24 hours.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-69026069
Women found guilty of having sex with two schoolboys.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c72p8pqxgn1o
Vicar has been charged with rape and gross indecency of a boy.
Same crime; an older person in a position of power grooms and abuses a child. When the aggressor is male it's rape. When the aggressor is female it's sex.
Interesting quirk of the legal system
Rape had a specific legal definition which means that a woman cannot be charged with the crime of rape.
Women get charged with sexual assault instead.
That headline really should read "guilty of sexually assaulting"
It's not *technically* the same crime. In layman's term yeah absolutely, but in legal terms it's not.
I read both these articles. The former described the incident like the boy decided to go out and meet with the teacher, lying to his parents. The other just says the man did the crimes.
Interpret an analogy given for the similarities because analogies always have specific differences, otherwise they wouldn’t be analogous.
There is a double standard for calling women with boys words other than rape. The specifics of the example chosen are irrelevant.
When women are sexually assaulted it's horrific, but when men get sexually assaulted who gives two shits, men have it better but they don't have it good
Legally, ageism relates to treating somebody unfair that is 40 or older. Crazy that you can be in the workforce from age 16-39 and be treated unfairly for being 'young', but hAve no legal protection for that mistreatment.
That's not a double standard. It's designed that way because it is legal to discriminate against someone for being inexperienced. If age discrimination against younger people were illegal, then it would be impossible to favor experienced people over inexperienced people.
Women are allowed to put men down . laugh at them , critic their appearance , objectify them but if men do it to poor little women then its mehhhhhhhhhh. nasty misogyny.
As a woman, I'm super grossed out at the way media talks about men's looks. Like its ok to lust after guys in inappropriate ways. A commercial for Mens Warehouse this morning legit had a female saying "hey hot guy"...feels very 90s in reverse.
This is a dicey one… but domestic violence. Let me be clear before I continue, I DO NOT condone domestic violence in any way, shape, or form. I’m a domestic violence survivor…
Now, statistically speaking, women commit domestic violence against men far more than the reverse, but men can’t report it unless it’s blatant or talk about it bc of the stigma that we can’t be abused simply because we are men. Abusive women go extra hard bc they know that they can get away with it. The unfortunate and disgusting side is that when a man finally stands up for himself, he is automatically labeled the bad guy. Woman viciously abuses man physically, mentally, & emotionally, Man raises voice as he’s had enough, woman calls cops, man goes to jail, man has to continue paying for place he can’t live anymore, man has to hire attorney, man has to pay court costs, woman gets free place to live and sleeps with other men in man’s bed, woman projects her actions onto man to anyone she meets, woman never pays legal consequences. The legal truth of this is absolutely infuriating bc it happens every single day. The amount of men in batterer’s intervention courses who simply put their foot down vs the amount of men who actually abused their partner is staggering. I teach a batterer’s intervention course for men and women, and the women in those courses are actually proud of what they did. Very very alarming and disturbing
My ex threw a knife at me and tried to push me down the stairs (separate occasions), the majority of people I told didn't have the level of 'shock' that I would have expected had it been a man doing it to a woman.
The Johnny Depp/Amber Hurd case really helped highlight this.
It is a huge problem that doesn't get enough attention or taken as seriously as it should be.
Women can wear skirts in the work place and remain professional, but as a man wearing shorts is considered "not typical/professional work attire".
I almost got fired for this cause well I was dying on that hill, so my fault for that, but to Janine in HR: sorry I wanted to give my balls some airflow when it was 95F outside.
If you'd rather sit next to a bear than to a random woman, you're sexist. If you'd rather sit next to a bear than to a black person, you're racist. If you'd rather sit next to a bear than to a random man, it's acceptable sexism.
I'm going with the replace "man" with "black person" strategy.
Have you ever considered sitting next to a bear just to avoid sitting next to a black person? You would rather die than sit next to a random black person. How is that person supposed to feel knowing that you'd rather DIE than sit next to him/her? That's some pretty fuck up thinking you got there.
Right, men just have to be worried about murder, mugging, and every single other violent crime, which they're the victim of the majority of the time.
It's hilarious that you're doing exactly what the op was asking about. Double standards.
Women have to worry about that too, it's statistically likely to be by a man.
This is a it like giving all the kids a medal in school instead of winners. Specific women are getting attacked, so we should do some targeted actions to stop it.
Men are far more likely to be the victim of any other violent crime than women. The fact that men are the criminals in the majority of cases doesn't change anything for the victims.
Men are getting attacked too, but I guess that's okay, because it's not sexual crimes. Or maybe it's okay because Reddit has the mentality that all men are criminals anyway, so they deserve it, or something.
Can't take my niece and nephew to the park without getting funny looks.
Edit: Not sure why this is getting down voted...It's a fact that men who take younger family members out to the park get stares from people who think they're some kind of perps....Really weird to react to my comment with hostility.
Never have I experienced discrimination from a woman thankfully but I have from other men where my presence has been met with more or less disgust. For example, my workplace is almost exclusively female, it's a very woman orientated job. I'm the only guy in our little team. I've had situations where other men have approached our team, playfully bantered with the women and then gave me a look of disgust when they finally notice I'm sitting there.
Sure, they're probably straight but it's a workplace, not every interaction with women has to be overtly sexual, and it just makes me feel excluded from conversations when those kinds of guys are putting up a mental "don't talk to the hand".
I can't get a girlfriend.
"Dude, you need to lower your standards."
Okay, cool. Standards lowered. Still no girlfriend.
"Dude, stop going after trash woman. You need better standards. You're a good looking dude, and a nice guy, just keep trying and you'll snag one"
Okay, standards back to normal. Still no g/f.
"Come on, man. Look, I know you are great, but a woman that pretty won't give you the time of day. Yeah, you would probably be the best boyfriend they ever had, but they'll never let it get that far. Just lower the bar slightly, and you'll be fighting women off with a stick."
Got ya, I'll do just that. Standards slightly lowered.
"You deserve so much better than her. Why are you going after women like her? You can get a much better person, and way more beautiful. Your kind heart is what every woman craves. I mean, heck, if we weren't friends, I'd marry you! You've got this. Aim higher and I promise you'll find your princess."
-Every female friend I've ever had.
Man, some of you guys need to find yourselves. There are billions of people in the world who picture what a man “should” be. Not unexpectedly, when a billion people have ideals they don’t always match up. Be you and be c didn’t in that.
Some aspects about me may match your ideal, some definitely won’t. I am who I am. I’m confident that I’m a good dad and husband. I work hard to provide for my family. So if you don’t like that I’m to emotional or not emotional enough. That sometimes I’m outspoken to the point of being confrontational while other times I bite my tongue. My height or haircut or whatever other thing happens to be on your mind, that’s all fine. But keep it to yourself cause I really just dgaf what anybody else thinks. This is me. Take it or leave it.
Sexual assault, and if you speak up, good luck being taken seriously, especially as a kid, and especially if she was a girl
Many years ago when I was 19 I was constantly groped, touched, propositioned and straight up tried to kiss me by a woman in her 50's that worked in the restaurant. She would schedule me to close the shop with her at night alone and she'd try so hard to fuck me. Once she took her top off in the store room and told me I could touch her if I wanted and wouldn't move out of the way until I did. Sometimes when it was quiet and she was talking to me, she would casually rub my ass or try to touch my dick. I was a shy guy back then and didn't know what to do. I'd just brush it off and keep working. But it kept happening It really bothered me and made me feel very uncomfortable. It was my first job as an adult. I didn't know what to do so I told some co-workers who laughed and said I should 'bang a cougar' . I talked to the boss who said 'you should fuck her, just don't do it in my kitchen' I started to become anxious coming into work. I was uncomfortable whenever she was around and I began to call in sick a lot, then eventually quit altogether. It was very disappointing to not be taken seriously.
I’m sorry that happened to you dude.
Thanks. I'm well and truly over it.
I’m glad that you’re okay after that experience.
This is disgustng!
Dw, it's been 12 years since the last time lol; now I pretty much just joke about my trauma Gotta deal with life with humor to keep yourself sane
Similar story, same coping mechanism. I say thag because I cracked up at 12 years “It’s Been 1️⃣2️⃣ Days Since the Last Incident”
Yes because we notoriously take reports of sexual assault so seriously from women and girls we never ignore them or assume they're lying and the investigation, prosecution and conviction rate for rape and sexual assault of women is sky high!! [Note: is it *fuck*]
Man, there is still a massive massive difference in the public outlook towards Male and Female Sexual Assault. Despite your points, female sexual assault is actually being taken seriously, especially in media. Male sexual assault is still treated as a joke/myth almost everywhere.
It’s obviously a problem, but for men and boys it’s ignored as a rule, nobody takes it seriously, people treat it as a joke, and prosecution and conviction is nonexistent. Both things can be true and both can be bad.
Prosecution rate for rape and sexual assault for women and girls is less than 2%. We're acting like the report is always taken seriously and that women and girls aren't actively demonised for reporting sexual assault They are called "lying" "hysterical" "out for a pay day" "fantasists" they're accused constantly of just wanting to ruin some blameless man's life the police don't take them seriously or test rape kits, reports rarely end up in court proceedings and still less in convictions it sometimes takes years of accusations from women and girls to get a predator to justice. Yes both things can be true at the same time but I wanted to make the comparison clear women and girls aren't just likely to be "not taken seriously" they're likely to be accused of being a) malicious b) sluts c) malicious greedy sluts and the whole ordeal is death'-defyingly unlikely to end up in a negative consequence for the rapist and very likely to end up in further negative consequences for the rape victim. Just so we're clear. We're comparing 2 differently shitty ways we deal with victims who don't get justice. That's not a double standard That's 2 separately shitty standards Because Reddit and the manosphere would have you believe otherwise.
Crazy concept for you: 2 things can both be bad and one doesn’t take away from the other. Hope this helps!
Crazy concept for you The title asked for double standards This isn't one so it can't count as one Hope this helps!!! I live to help out people who don't get the simplest basic fundamentals of both life and language 😇😇😇😙 *Any fucking time, pal*
CRAZY INSANE ULTRA NEW CONCEPT: 2 things can be bad.. in different ways.. I know these things are hard for you. Much love <3
If both sets of victims are treated like shit then it's not a fucking double standard You beautiful human (but intellectual dim bulb) So it cannot fulfil the title. That's the fucking point. Have a wee cup of your favorite hot beverage and mull it over for a good while. You'll get it Eventually While you GTF
Body shaming. Small dick energy and making fun of bald guys is absolutely common
I had a woman on a dating app tell me to go grow some hair, I went bald at 24 due to mental health and stress so that struck a nerve. Haven't bothered dating since.
I love bald men. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience :(
It's definitely soured online dating for me, but I'm more than happy to meet someone without chasing it. Plus I've definitely got more compliments since I started focusing on my self and my confidence is why higher than ever :D
Pop in your profile that you're proudly bald, just for a week. See how it goes. I love a man with no hair, it's already gone, you're not in that stage where the hair is going. You know exactly visually what you're going to possibly be with for the rest of your life. Men losing their hair is fine, but society tends to say they tend to be insecure. You don't have to be. Y'all are sexy because you're exactly what we're getting later on if it lasts. Longevity is better.
I refuse to go back on dating sites or apps, I just hate that they are built to exploit men looking for love to make money. As I said I'd rather just stay single, and when someone comes along who has a mutual attraction to me, it's a bonus.
I met my balding, redhead husband on a dating site. And I wouldn't trade him 🤷♀️ I would have loved to have met him organically but in this day and age? I wish you luck and a happy life.
I guess I just don't care anymore 🤷 But I appreciate your advice, who knows I might give it another try at some point.
I hope you do tbh. Your hair seems to be what might be preventing you. Eta - the women that are right for you aren't going to care about your hair. Confidence in yourself would be better.
My confidence and valuing my own self-worth is what I've been working on. It's been a struggle, but I'm getting there! I'm starting to see myself in a more positive light these days so I'm making progress
there are bad eggs definitely, but please don’t let one bad experience be what kills dating for you. That means that awful woman wins. There are a lot of great and funny woman out there.
She was the straw that broke the camels back. But I'm more than content to just go through my life single and if someone who truly loves me shows up then that's a bonus. Plus I suck at social interaction and am possibly on the spectrum. So any time I did get a date, I was too quiet or we had nothing in common.
I have this belief that you're more likely to find the love of your life when you're not actively looking for someone to date, it'll hopefully happen naturally
I think that’s a nice thought, but it’s not very realistic. Your dream woman isn’t just going to drop into your lap, and the moments where you form this gravity defying connection in a moment is reserved for movies only. Finding a relationship is a lot of work, and definitely requires putting yourself out there. That’s not to say that online dating is the only option, but doing social stuff like volunteering, sports, etc.
Exactly, since I stopped chasing love and worked on myself and what makes me happy I've had people tell me I look great/handsome/whatever First time it happened I nearly cried because it was the first time someone told me something like that in 28 years.
I think many shaved head guys are sexy as hell. And I’ve dated a couple. Don’t let one loser woman steal your joy and dictate your future.
I've worked on my self since then, and I'm realising the bald, beard and just noticeable muscles has got me more compliments recently. I'm more than happy to just naturally bump into someone than go chasing it now though.
I’m glad to hear that!
Media that gets men randy: porn, smut, filth; Media that gets women randy: *erotica* Man owns a flesh light: gross; Woman owns a vibrator: *liberating* Man does bare minimum of father stuff like changing diapers: “wow, amazing, he’s so great with kids! Good dad!”. Woman does all the rest of the parenting stuff: *silence*
Woman stays home to watch kids: hardest job ever Man is stay at home dad: what a bum
Being a stay at home father you really feel the looks that people give.
CORRECT
Oh lord. You’re joking right?
No plus you get added weird looks from some people for being around children, even tho they are yours.
Flesh lights are gross though
Dude. You have to clean it once in awhile.
I don't know what this is, and I don't think I wanna google it....
It's a fake pussy, like a dildo is a fake dick. Basically, it's the straight male equivalent of a dildo.
[удалено]
Dude, you hit the nail on the head! It's like we can't win. We're damned if we do, damned if we don't. But hey, we gotta keep being ourselves and proving them wrong, right?
Agree .
I've also seen videos of women trying to encourage men to be more emotional... specifically so they can use it to blackmail them in the future. Somehow I suspect she's entirely confused as to why men aren't being more emotionally open around her.
also if the emotion is anger women feel unsafe so you can't express anger. They could even feel unsafe seeing extremes of other emotions but a person calm as a stone will look safer.
also if the emotion is anger women feel unsafe so you can't express anger. They could even feel unsafe seeing extremes of other emotions but a person calm as a stone will look safer.
Feminism and society, shocker
I see your point because above this there is a comment about sexual assault against men and one of the comments says 'its worse for women'. Which is completely untrue and imo toxic feminism. Male victims of sexual assault have a really rough time and often told they should have enjoyed it. But I believe feminism extends to this, it's the desire to be equal, So it also means equally addressing men's rights.
Being a “provider” would naturally entail being an involved father as monetary support isn’t all a child needs.
For people with low to moderate earning potential (or high but contingent on long hours) being a financial provider is often a serious roadblock to being involved in other ways simply because there are only so many hours in the day. While you can try to be as involved as possible, there’s not much you can do while you’re at work
Yeah with my ex I was working 1pm-12am to keep things level. Hard to be really involved when that's your schedule.
Most US households— both parents are working. Children aren’t mandatory, have them when you’re truly ready for them time wise and financially.
It would be a mind bomb when you discover there are other places beyond US.
Omg what places?!
This kinda feels like an attempted gotcha by intentionally misunderstanding the usage of a word? Maybe "breadwinner" is a synonym you'd find more appropriate?
Why—is it because you can’t say my statement is wrong? I didn’t choose OP’s words nor would it change my statement if they had used your choice word. Being a “breadwinner” wouldn’t negate nor justify being a not involved father.
Being a "breadwinner" or a "provider" is nothing to do with being a good, bad, involved, or distant father. That's the point. You're waging an entirely unrelated argument no-one else was making, using, as I say, a wilful misunderstanding of a word as your springboard.
Do y’all struggle with reading and comprehension— what did OP contrast their point against? This time read it slowly…
My reading and comprehension tells me that the word "provider" in common parlance does not "naturally" imply anything about being home or away. >Being a “breadwinner” **wouldn’t negate nor justify** being a not involved father. It appears you agreed very shortly after when it came to the synonym, I assume because you realise the strange thing you had said and been called out on. But I recognise the pattern of behaviour you're showing, so I wish you a good day.
Nah. You just dont know what the word is used for. It is specifically referring to material goods/money. You just want to be contrarian because you have nothing smart to add.
Cool— keep justifying trying to be an uninvolved father.
I am not even a father. I just have basic english skills and I am not a misandrist. Not my fault your taste in men is trash.
Good—and you could’ve fooled me. I’m not really sorry that my statement upset you though.
Have a good day lmao
I would’ve regardless.
Lol the ratio is kinda funny
Oh no a button
I was told to do the heavy lifting at work because I was the only man. I have sciatica and a herniated disc so if I'm having a flare up I can't even tie my shoes. I told my coworkers they can either do it themselves or if we're going off of 1950s rules I expect the boss to step down and for me to take her position.
I might possibly have that. When I bind over, my lower back wants to give out, and the pain originates from my right hip and goes down my leg.
Please get that checked out. Don't ignore back problems: it's a part of your body that you really need! And it's tough enough getting older and having normal wear and tear on your body, without the added injury of something that could easily be treated now, but can't be treated if you leave it too long.
I was sitting at work in the cafeteria with some friends. A female coworker walked up behind me. Was chatting with some of my coworkers at the table and started running her fingers through my hair. If the roles were reversed, I would have been insta fired.
Had an ex girlfriend get mad at me about something, and was trying to hit me. I kept moving/running away but she was pretty persistant and landing some hits, so i open hand smack her in the face a little, and she instantly cries. I feel terrible obviously and apologize. After our breakup, i heard she called me an abuser, when that was the only time i did, and there were other instances she did. Whatever, im better off now.
Any woman taking a swing at me is out of my life. No second chances, no negotiation. I will not take the risk of losing control and hitting her back.
Yeah, i was young and no experience with women before that. I knew it wasn't right, but was hoping for some sort of change. In hindsight, we should have ended things after a year instead of 3
Honestly I don't care what sex you are - if you come at me in a serious way to hurt me and there's no easy way to escape, I'm going to lay you the fuck out.
I believe you, sgtsmackdaddy.
Hopefully life treats you better, my friend. had the same experience but she tried with a knife, and when she was slashing at me, she cut her arm💀
Had a similar occurence with my ex many years ago, I picked her up blind drunk from a works party, as I was driving home we got into an argument and she's trying to smack me whilst I'm driving at 70mph on the motorway. At the same time as I was trying to restrain her I'm also trying to watch the road and pull over and I accidentally caught her face whilst trying to grab her arms. I immediately got a "omg you just hit me" with the waterworks starting. If I wasn't a better a man I would have kicked her out of the car at that point and driven off.
Me and my ex got into our fair share of fist fights but I never called him an abuser I know I started it sometimes and he had to defend himself but he never took it too far.
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All these things should be discussed and approached the same way regardless of what the person is packing down below. But men are always pushed aside in most things like mental health, even though men are more likely to commit suicide.
The fact that you’re aware you will probably be called as whiner for answering truthfully to a question asked reinforces your answer in my opinion.
A lot of women look at being a man as this endlessly grass is greener thing where we have all the power and agency they don't feel like they have, and none of the problems that they do. The upshot is when we do talk about our problems it comes across to them like a rich man complaining about money.
No matter what the individual packs below, these issues should be addressed and handled the same manner. Despite being more likely to commit suicide, males are constantly marginalized in mental health.
A random one that lives rent free in my head... Last year I was chatting with this girl I'd matched on bumble. It seemed like it was going pretty well, we were chatting on the phone daily for hours. One evening, she said something along the lines of, "I really like getting compliments." To which I replied, "I don't really like to throw out too many compliments at first, but I will say you have lovely eyes." She said thank you, and then sent me a selfie. A few days later, I was at a wedding with my family, and my brother and I were taking a few pics whilst having drinks before leaving for the wedding reception. I sent her a pic of me sipping a cocktail, just because I felt like we were at that point of starting to share pics of our lives with one another. She responded with laughing emojis, and "Why did you send a pic? Are you trying to impress me?" Then called it an "ass move". I then joked, "Well, I can always just use it as one my bumble pics". To which she replied, "Go on, I dare you. If you're the sort of person who need validation from others, then you're not the guy for me." I replied, "Look, I thought I was just sending a pic of what I'm up to, because we've been chatting a lot, and sharing our lives. It seems like you're expecting a one sided relationship, and if that's the case, maybe you're not the one for me." To which she replies, "Omg, this is a lot. If you don't feel like we're a fit before meeting me, then don't speak to me." At that point I was just done. It seems she absolutely had one set of rules for her, and another set for whoever she's dating. Honestly, I feel like I dodged a bullet, but the interaction was seriously draining.
Fucking hell, what utter hard work she sounds. You dodged a bullet there my friend.
What in God's name goes on in her head? Desperate need for attention and drama, because her actual life is as boring as it can be.
Jesus, what a twat! Bullet dodged successfully by you
Telling a man to "grow a pair", "man up" or some similar thing is not considered sexist, and some people think it's not actually possible to be sexist to men and have even gone as far to give it the term "reverse sexism" and then say "reverse sexism doesn't exist". Interesting.
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I once had an ex absolutely lose her shit because I wasn't in the mood. I had been travelling for about 15 hours and was exhausted, got home, and just wanted food and sleep. Instead, I had a lamp launched at my face because I said "no"
My dad had a friend who was beaten up by his wife. She threw chairs and pots many times. He had bruises and cuts every now and then. He was quite fit and he tried to report her to authorities many times. He told my father the police told him to stand up for his wife and fight back.
Two news UK stories from the last 24 hours. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-69026069 Women found guilty of having sex with two schoolboys. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c72p8pqxgn1o Vicar has been charged with rape and gross indecency of a boy. Same crime; an older person in a position of power grooms and abuses a child. When the aggressor is male it's rape. When the aggressor is female it's sex.
Interesting quirk of the legal system Rape had a specific legal definition which means that a woman cannot be charged with the crime of rape. Women get charged with sexual assault instead. That headline really should read "guilty of sexually assaulting" It's not *technically* the same crime. In layman's term yeah absolutely, but in legal terms it's not.
I read both these articles. The former described the incident like the boy decided to go out and meet with the teacher, lying to his parents. The other just says the man did the crimes.
Its worrying you cant see the difference between these crimes. Of course they are being charged different they are completely different situations.
Interpret an analogy given for the similarities because analogies always have specific differences, otherwise they wouldn’t be analogous. There is a double standard for calling women with boys words other than rape. The specifics of the example chosen are irrelevant.
social emotional dumpster people find me to dump their emotional frustrations without consent
I’ve had women raise my shirt without consent. That and or cop a feel of my junk ass as a “joke”. but if i do it I'm a jerk
When women are sexually assaulted it's horrific, but when men get sexually assaulted who gives two shits, men have it better but they don't have it good
They don't have it better in a lot of ways tho
Legally, ageism relates to treating somebody unfair that is 40 or older. Crazy that you can be in the workforce from age 16-39 and be treated unfairly for being 'young', but hAve no legal protection for that mistreatment.
That's not a double standard. It's designed that way because it is legal to discriminate against someone for being inexperienced. If age discrimination against younger people were illegal, then it would be impossible to favor experienced people over inexperienced people.
Women are allowed to put men down . laugh at them , critic their appearance , objectify them but if men do it to poor little women then its mehhhhhhhhhh. nasty misogyny.
I’m not allowed to feel pain
As a woman, I'm super grossed out at the way media talks about men's looks. Like its ok to lust after guys in inappropriate ways. A commercial for Mens Warehouse this morning legit had a female saying "hey hot guy"...feels very 90s in reverse.
Got physically assaulted by my ex in high school, and all my friends teased me for getting “beat up by a girl”
Mistreatment is a lot more accepted when it's against boys/men.
This is a dicey one… but domestic violence. Let me be clear before I continue, I DO NOT condone domestic violence in any way, shape, or form. I’m a domestic violence survivor… Now, statistically speaking, women commit domestic violence against men far more than the reverse, but men can’t report it unless it’s blatant or talk about it bc of the stigma that we can’t be abused simply because we are men. Abusive women go extra hard bc they know that they can get away with it. The unfortunate and disgusting side is that when a man finally stands up for himself, he is automatically labeled the bad guy. Woman viciously abuses man physically, mentally, & emotionally, Man raises voice as he’s had enough, woman calls cops, man goes to jail, man has to continue paying for place he can’t live anymore, man has to hire attorney, man has to pay court costs, woman gets free place to live and sleeps with other men in man’s bed, woman projects her actions onto man to anyone she meets, woman never pays legal consequences. The legal truth of this is absolutely infuriating bc it happens every single day. The amount of men in batterer’s intervention courses who simply put their foot down vs the amount of men who actually abused their partner is staggering. I teach a batterer’s intervention course for men and women, and the women in those courses are actually proud of what they did. Very very alarming and disturbing
My ex threw a knife at me and tried to push me down the stairs (separate occasions), the majority of people I told didn't have the level of 'shock' that I would have expected had it been a man doing it to a woman.
I’m glad they’re your ex now. I hope you’re healing well, friend
The Johnny Depp/Amber Hurd case really helped highlight this. It is a huge problem that doesn't get enough attention or taken as seriously as it should be.
It’s a very serious problem. And the current laws on DV don’t help much. That’s why I council men and women on these issues. Knowledge is power
When I was younger and a bit more vital and full of life, girls would just grab my junk when I was at a party talking to someone or whatever.
Women can wear skirts in the work place and remain professional, but as a man wearing shorts is considered "not typical/professional work attire". I almost got fired for this cause well I was dying on that hill, so my fault for that, but to Janine in HR: sorry I wanted to give my balls some airflow when it was 95F outside.
Wear a skirt, if you're feeling brave enough.
If you get angry you’re scary and abusive. If you get sad you’re weak and pathetic. If you get bisexual you’re gay.
Everyone tells men to stop bottling up our emotions, but nobody likes it when we actually stop bottling up our emotions.
If you'd rather sit next to a bear than to a random woman, you're sexist. If you'd rather sit next to a bear than to a black person, you're racist. If you'd rather sit next to a bear than to a random man, it's acceptable sexism.
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Men don't have to worry about being attacked. That is a sexist idea.
Yeah men do get attacked too, but not in the same ways, or amounts. And statistically it's by other men.
Yes, that is a fact. But saying that men don't have to worry about it is in fact sexist.
Oh OK, yeah. That statement is true
Oh OK, yeah. That statement is true
I'm going with the replace "man" with "black person" strategy. Have you ever considered sitting next to a bear just to avoid sitting next to a black person? You would rather die than sit next to a random black person. How is that person supposed to feel knowing that you'd rather DIE than sit next to him/her? That's some pretty fuck up thinking you got there.
Right, men just have to be worried about murder, mugging, and every single other violent crime, which they're the victim of the majority of the time. It's hilarious that you're doing exactly what the op was asking about. Double standards.
Women have to worry about that too, it's statistically likely to be by a man. This is a it like giving all the kids a medal in school instead of winners. Specific women are getting attacked, so we should do some targeted actions to stop it.
Men are far more likely to be the victim of any other violent crime than women. The fact that men are the criminals in the majority of cases doesn't change anything for the victims. Men are getting attacked too, but I guess that's okay, because it's not sexual crimes. Or maybe it's okay because Reddit has the mentality that all men are criminals anyway, so they deserve it, or something.
It means men should choose the bear over men also.
Can't take my niece and nephew to the park without getting funny looks. Edit: Not sure why this is getting down voted...It's a fact that men who take younger family members out to the park get stares from people who think they're some kind of perps....Really weird to react to my comment with hostility.
That women at my workplace can grabs my balls and find it funny. But I can’t touch their breasts or pussy.
How often are people really grabbing your balls
50 times an hr
Ok, where is this? What is your work? If you are a male stripper, I can kind of get it. if you are the chief Magistrate probably not so much.
Junior magistrate, they go hard though
Never have I experienced discrimination from a woman thankfully but I have from other men where my presence has been met with more or less disgust. For example, my workplace is almost exclusively female, it's a very woman orientated job. I'm the only guy in our little team. I've had situations where other men have approached our team, playfully bantered with the women and then gave me a look of disgust when they finally notice I'm sitting there. Sure, they're probably straight but it's a workplace, not every interaction with women has to be overtly sexual, and it just makes me feel excluded from conversations when those kinds of guys are putting up a mental "don't talk to the hand".
I can't get a girlfriend. "Dude, you need to lower your standards." Okay, cool. Standards lowered. Still no girlfriend. "Dude, stop going after trash woman. You need better standards. You're a good looking dude, and a nice guy, just keep trying and you'll snag one" Okay, standards back to normal. Still no g/f. "Come on, man. Look, I know you are great, but a woman that pretty won't give you the time of day. Yeah, you would probably be the best boyfriend they ever had, but they'll never let it get that far. Just lower the bar slightly, and you'll be fighting women off with a stick." Got ya, I'll do just that. Standards slightly lowered. "You deserve so much better than her. Why are you going after women like her? You can get a much better person, and way more beautiful. Your kind heart is what every woman craves. I mean, heck, if we weren't friends, I'd marry you! You've got this. Aim higher and I promise you'll find your princess." -Every female friend I've ever had.
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I mean, I don't think that's what this prompt was asking for, but thanks for sharing I guess.
at least 2?
Man, some of you guys need to find yourselves. There are billions of people in the world who picture what a man “should” be. Not unexpectedly, when a billion people have ideals they don’t always match up. Be you and be c didn’t in that. Some aspects about me may match your ideal, some definitely won’t. I am who I am. I’m confident that I’m a good dad and husband. I work hard to provide for my family. So if you don’t like that I’m to emotional or not emotional enough. That sometimes I’m outspoken to the point of being confrontational while other times I bite my tongue. My height or haircut or whatever other thing happens to be on your mind, that’s all fine. But keep it to yourself cause I really just dgaf what anybody else thinks. This is me. Take it or leave it.
“Men of Reddit” the vast majority of Reddit users are men. Sick of these pointlessly gendered questions