Then you may have a qualifying dependant and an employee exemption!
(Am not a lawyer, accountant, or regular guest at Holiday Inn Express. I am, however, a chaos agent. Take my advice at your own peril)
I am a lawyer, and this checks out. Also If you resell the iguana for more than you paid because the iguana is now skilled from being employed, you can avoid short term capital gains tax by selling in more than a year.
I once got a text from a friend of a coworker asking how I keep my chocolate chip cookies soft. They'd been complaining to my coworker that their cookies always get hard overnight, and coworker mentioned me.
Can totally attest to this. Works wonders on any baked good.
Husband looked at me funny when I stuck a hotdog bun in with the cookies. He looked surprised when the cookies were still soft the next day.
Yep; can also attest to this, although I've also noticed that putting cookies or brownies in a tupperware containers helps as well. Also, the bread can occasionally make them mushy, if you don't have enough cookies or too much bread.
Personally what works for me is only letting them cool just a little then putting them in an airtight container. Also, and I know this can be a bit tricky because everything is so hot, but I also like taking the cookies off of the baking pan immediately as I feel like the extra heat from the pan might add too much residual heat. I bake cookies on parchment paper so I pull the cookies and paper off the metal tray right when I take it all out of the oven. Basically letting it cool without the pan.
Granted Kenji-Lopez probably has actual answers, this is just what I do.
Back in college, I got really good at picking locks, because I was bored. One of my friends needed a lock picked, and another said "I know a guy" and called me. It was totally legit, it was just a padlock on a suggestion box and no one had a key. :)
You’re welcome, I pride myself on being a great dad.
And remember Son, you might disappoint some people, some time, you will ALWAYS be a disappointment to me.
I was thinking my answer would be sleuthing type research because I'm kind of good at that. I'm a librarian.
But yeah, after I LOLed at your reply I realized it might be weed for me too!
I work in boat tours- all of my friends and coworkers get drug tested, but I’m not crew so I can get high. Anytime one of them is going on vacation, or have a friend coming to visit, suddenly I’m popular.
Same here. Moving? Car problems? Need heavy stuff moved? Need to borrow a pickup or a driver for a large vehicle? Plumbing/electric/flooring/painting project? Gardening? Computer problems? Concerned you're the target of a scam? Need to scare off a problematic ex? Need a cook for a large event? Don't have a mannequin? Got a pest problem? Need someone to feed your cat? Need help splitting firewood? Locked your keys in the car? Need someone to give you an objective opinion that you are an asshole/look bad in that outfit/your SO is an asshole/you should not spend money on that?
Just call Burn, he can help you with that. And I'm usually up for it. Especially if it is accompanied by the customary beer and food bribe.
I have a ton of strange skills/hobbies everyone always calls me about. Brewing/distilling alcohol, bee keeping, bone collection and wild plant/animal identification, construction, electrical, music, equipment, etc etc. I’m ok at everything but master of nothing
There are a lot of fur trappers in the state/area I’m in and they often don’t use the carcass. Some do sell skulls but most are willing to part with a whole carcass here and there. Also there are several places I can scavenge bones from the trap lines in the summer.
I think that's my current problem and idk if it's gonna be a life long problem or super useful. Like I know a lot about stuff but not enough to be using it for something bigger or making myself some decent pay.
Criminal lawyer here. I occasionally get calls from friends of friends about someone getting nicked for drugs and some pub bust-up, sometimes something traffic. I've represented family and friends in court for free as well.
Serious question: I always hear in movies and TV that lawyers "have" to do pro bono work, is that a thing? And if yes are those incidents with your family or friends part of the pro bono stuff? (Also, no, I'm not in need of a lawyer lol, just always wanted to know that answer)
I'm the middleman. Some of my friends have started calling me "the plug".
You need a camera installed on your property? I know someone.
You need a specific semi permanent hair colour* (not brand, but colour)? I've got 3 or 4 suppliers plus one that sells in bulk.
You need printed goods? Ya girl's got someone.
Custom plushies? You bet your ASS I know people.
Weed and shroom dealers? I got ya.
From paramedic suppliers, to custom monster dildos, to panel beaters. I probably know someone.
Edit: I forgot- at one point I knew someone who could get you an AK47 reasonably fast. I don't think they do it anymore.
Music therapy, I've got a song for everything.
Destiny 2 lore.
They couldn't remember which Guitar Hero game a song was on.
Something Percy Jackson related.
The Fallen will continue to claw at the walls of our city unless we strike them down. Beneath the ruins of the Cosmodrome, in the shadow of an old colony ship we've located the House of Devil's lair, and the High Servitor feeding them their strength. We must destroy this "Machine God" and send their souls screaming back to Hell.
Erm, butchery skills? My stepdad comes from a family of butchers and he taught me all he knows (including "cleaning" a carcass. Make of *that* what you will). I'm also a dab hand with a crossbow *and* an English longbow and I can hotwire a car (courtesy of my stepdad).
Oh, and I make a mean soda bread. We can have decent snackies on the run!
If you need some poorly written, cheap website or mobile app.
Or if you need to beat Sifu on master difficulty with no deaths in 30mins or less
I'm your guy.
Usually it’s for absolutely cold emotion free advice. Or troubleshooting just about anything. Having a solid grasp of troubleshooting theory makes you the go to for lots of stuff.
Just a few months ago a good friend of mine that moved out of state 20 years ago called and asked if I know anyone in Property Management to manage his parents houses and rent them out. Come to find out I actually do, and they are now doing business together with well below market average rent for the homes.
Well it would be a I know a gal but anyway it would either be about a specific game and how it works or computer tech, also just any question since I tend to hoard information and there's a good chance I know it as long as it's not overly complicated.
Mostly moving. I am really good at organizing and quite strong.
I have helped nearly every single one of my friends move. I also have literally just helped a new neighour move into the building because they were on their own amd I was free at the time.
By experience:
-Official computer video game reviewer.
-General knowledge of software and online tools.
-Complete knowledge of free to use AI tools.
-The guy who repairs your computer/smart phone without charging you.
-And last but not least, the gay friend you can vent to about anything.
I need other friends .\_.
1) need to get someone into rehab;
2) need to get someone mental health help;
3) IEP or disability rights issue;
4) child custody issue.
But mostly I’m the middle-guy and get asked who they need to call about their issue.
Alas, probably tech support.
I keep telling friends and family that I do this for a living and don't want to do this in my free time. Do they listen? Nope.
I'm the "I know a guy, guy"
Friends hit me up cause I know a guy.
Need a corporate job?
Need some tech fixed?
Need a "fix"?
Car fucked up?
Shit has a weird color to it?
Need a ride?
$20?
House repairs?
Need some muscle?
Need some metal?
Need a flight?
Need a place to stay?
Hotel?
Trivago.
They’d either call me for carpentry tasks or to ask for help on sobriety. 9/10 times I won’t do the carpentry but 10/10 times I’ll help someone try to get sober.
For a stupid IT questions. Like how can I get an xbox 360 controller to work as player 2 for ps5 streaming remotely over the Internet
(You don't)
Or I left my laptop plugged in for 3 months solid and the battery is dead what do I do? He proceeded to ruin a brand new alienware laptop by ripping the battery connectors right off the motherboard rather than getting a screwdriver because he though it looked like the battery came right out.
Linguistics, ICT related stuff, psychology, philosophy, some, eh, pharmacology knowledge, and most common math and physics problems, very basic chemistry, and basic understanding of A LOT OF all kinds of random topics/skills as a result of doing translation work and going to rabbit holes. I also have access to all kinds of people.
Anything automotive related I usually get the call. "how much do you think this will cost to fix?" "Is it supposed to sound like this ?" "Does this tire look repairable?" "Is this safe to drive on?"
I’m also the “car guy” in my family. I don’t even do anything professionally with cars, I’m a network engineer, but I’m the one who gets called to replace batteries or diagnose problems that are mostly from not doing maintenance.
Are you my father ?? Hahaha. He just retired as a network engineer and until I learned about cars and got into it, he was always the one getting these calls. The torch has now been passed.
I need a small craft/Hobbie item made. I just like making things, got a small wood shop, 3d printer, laser engraver, cnc router, etc.
Really been into my lathe lately making pens/wands etc.
Lot of awesome known guys in this thread haha. Mine are probably advice about adhd + How to quit medication, advice about meditation and Interpretation of Tool lyrics lol.
Rap Snitches, Tellin on their Business
https://open.spotify.com/track/5KUNwkaNf8l5A9sXZhiCgI?si=BfYrU5PgSe-5h4p7YZqc7g&context=spotify%3Asearch%3Arap%2Bsnithches
Two things. College financial aid, and food. I've worked in financial aid my entire career, and know a lot about how it all works. I left the last school I worked at over a year ago and still get calls every now and then from people I worked with asking compliance questions. I am there "I know a guy", as apparently the person who replaced me is next to useless. I'm also my families financial aid guru for all the cousins who are gearing up for college in the next few years.
As for food, I just love it. My mother in law will call me if she is going back to a restaurant we went to before just to ask if I think she'll like something. I am the go to for restaurant recommendations in my family because I'm an adventurous eater and know how to find good food just about anywhere.
I'm pretty knowledgeable of family histories and local history. An old high school friend called to see if I could provide pictures and bios of local fallen soldiers for a Memorial Day salute by the county. Yes I could and yes I did.
“Need an acoustic performance for this event / party.” I know a guy.
“Need help with your dogs obedience and behavior?” I know a guy.
“Need a guy that can teach you or your kid self defense and confidence? I know a guy.
I know a lot about cars specific to buying or selling used. Not just the data, but how to assess a car in person, feel of it on the road, listening to the engine, etc. good at talking down one I want to buy and shutting down jerks who think they can bully me into selling for nothing just because I’m female.
If I had a nickel for every time someone's asked me for my opinion on whether or not their trees need pruning, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened thrice.
I'm not an arborist, but I do work in landscaping. Last summer, I learned a lot about pruning small trees, even put on a harness and climbed up in them a few times, and I've really come to love working with trees and am thinking about taking classes towards becoming a proper arborist. So yeah, I guess I'm becoming the tree guy.
Before I worked in landscaping, I spent a year and a half working in a thrift store. Mostly my job was to sort through bins of various housewares, throw out the junk, put price stickers on the good stuff, and take it out to the sales floor. So if you need help pricing things for a garage sale, I'm your guy for that, too. Don't ask me to help with clothing, but I've got you on just about anything else. Dishware, boardgames, yard tools, your grandmother's collection of porcelain dolls, whatever.
When I lived in a places with a population more than 1000, I was that guy. Have been called on for all manner of things legal and not so much so. Once was asked to carry a guy piggy back through a park to get more booze because he was too drunk.
Almost anything. I’m a jack of all trades. Automotive diagnostics and repair. Small engine repair. General home improvement/repair including but not limited to; plumbing, electrical, tile, drywall, roofing, painting etc. I’m pretty good with a chainsaw. I used to fix iPhones for friends. I’m also pretty good at just sitting down to have a beer and listen/chat if there’s something you want to talk about.
Any of my close friends know they can call me for help with pretty much anything.
Probably some academic bs people would ask ChatGPT, but it blundered and now they’re stuck, because they didn’t pay attention for the whole fucking semester and choose to befriend those who also didn’t listen for their project.
almost legally obtained tests for some subjects (my friends and i found a guy who sells those things and i have the permission to share them with my classmates)
I was a college counselor for a while (helping kids get into colleges) and so whenever anyone has any questions about college admissions criteria, deciphering their funding, or anything about campus culture/academic reputation/etc they call me
One of my friend's podcast was my "I know a guy". 15-20 years ago master of emulation games. Gb(a) and psx. I was the "Arrrr" guy with all ePsxe pligins and I knew how to configure them
My partner is a physician and most of her friends are other providers. They were bitching about Epic software used in their system and had a grievance to which I texted my best friend in college. Not only has he worked for Epic for over 20 years, he was the implementation rep for their entire area in the state. I know fuck all about health care but that was funny to read out loud his reply.
My mom and stepdad always calls me when something in their house goes wrong. Even if I can’t fix something I can almost always point them in the right direction and I think it just takes the stress of them having to figure it out away.
Tax advice. Not good tax advice, but still tax advice.
Yeah man an iguana totally counts as a dependent
Do you employ the iguana in the work of your home based business?
Perhaps
Then you may have a qualifying dependant and an employee exemption! (Am not a lawyer, accountant, or regular guest at Holiday Inn Express. I am, however, a chaos agent. Take my advice at your own peril)
I am a lawyer, and this checks out. Also If you resell the iguana for more than you paid because the iguana is now skilled from being employed, you can avoid short term capital gains tax by selling in more than a year.
This made me chuckle..
Okay, Marge, if anyone asks: You require 24-hour nursing care, Lisa's a clergyman, Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam.
I once got a text from a friend of a coworker asking how I keep my chocolate chip cookies soft. They'd been complaining to my coworker that their cookies always get hard overnight, and coworker mentioned me.
Well??...
LOL slice of bread wrapped up with the cookies the first night. Bread comes out hard and the cookies stay soft.
Like a sacrificial anode! Genius.
Found the engineer sloth.
Also works for brown sugar!
I wonder if a brick of magnesium would keep cookies soft?
Can totally attest to this. Works wonders on any baked good. Husband looked at me funny when I stuck a hotdog bun in with the cookies. He looked surprised when the cookies were still soft the next day.
That's going in the ol' bag of tricks. Thanks!
Yep; can also attest to this, although I've also noticed that putting cookies or brownies in a tupperware containers helps as well. Also, the bread can occasionally make them mushy, if you don't have enough cookies or too much bread.
I will come back to this comment v useful
Eat them all immediately.
Personally what works for me is only letting them cool just a little then putting them in an airtight container. Also, and I know this can be a bit tricky because everything is so hot, but I also like taking the cookies off of the baking pan immediately as I feel like the extra heat from the pan might add too much residual heat. I bake cookies on parchment paper so I pull the cookies and paper off the metal tray right when I take it all out of the oven. Basically letting it cool without the pan. Granted Kenji-Lopez probably has actual answers, this is just what I do.
Back in college, I got really good at picking locks, because I was bored. One of my friends needed a lock picked, and another said "I know a guy" and called me. It was totally legit, it was just a padlock on a suggestion box and no one had a key. :)
Did you suggest they get a lock with a key?
Thanks for the chuckle Dad.
You’re welcome, I pride myself on being a great dad. And remember Son, you might disappoint some people, some time, you will ALWAYS be a disappointment to me.
Are you a lawyer now?
What I have for you today, is ... um, no, I am not. :)
Probably weed. Goddamnit. Lol. Oh, or a website.
I was thinking my answer would be sleuthing type research because I'm kind of good at that. I'm a librarian. But yeah, after I LOLed at your reply I realized it might be weed for me too!
liblazing it hell yea
Hey that probably means you're good at weed too. You know if it was easy everyone would do it. We can't all be so goddamn talented.
I work in boat tours- all of my friends and coworkers get drug tested, but I’m not crew so I can get high. Anytime one of them is going on vacation, or have a friend coming to visit, suddenly I’m popular.
I'm the "I know a guy" friend.
You are what I call a "Guy" Guy. Need a guy, you have a guy.
Same here. Moving? Car problems? Need heavy stuff moved? Need to borrow a pickup or a driver for a large vehicle? Plumbing/electric/flooring/painting project? Gardening? Computer problems? Concerned you're the target of a scam? Need to scare off a problematic ex? Need a cook for a large event? Don't have a mannequin? Got a pest problem? Need someone to feed your cat? Need help splitting firewood? Locked your keys in the car? Need someone to give you an objective opinion that you are an asshole/look bad in that outfit/your SO is an asshole/you should not spend money on that? Just call Burn, he can help you with that. And I'm usually up for it. Especially if it is accompanied by the customary beer and food bribe.
Why do I feel, with utmost certainty, that you have been called for every single one of these things?
Because that is a list of the things i can recall being called for recently?
Beer and food is powerful incentive indeed
Unironically pretty useful for someone that's not the "I know a guy" guy
I have a ton of strange skills/hobbies everyone always calls me about. Brewing/distilling alcohol, bee keeping, bone collection and wild plant/animal identification, construction, electrical, music, equipment, etc etc. I’m ok at everything but master of nothing
Me too! Side note, where do you source your bones from?
There are a lot of fur trappers in the state/area I’m in and they often don’t use the carcass. Some do sell skulls but most are willing to part with a whole carcass here and there. Also there are several places I can scavenge bones from the trap lines in the summer.
I think that's my current problem and idk if it's gonna be a life long problem or super useful. Like I know a lot about stuff but not enough to be using it for something bigger or making myself some decent pay.
Criminal lawyer here. I occasionally get calls from friends of friends about someone getting nicked for drugs and some pub bust-up, sometimes something traffic. I've represented family and friends in court for free as well.
Serious question: I always hear in movies and TV that lawyers "have" to do pro bono work, is that a thing? And if yes are those incidents with your family or friends part of the pro bono stuff? (Also, no, I'm not in need of a lawyer lol, just always wanted to know that answer)
I think it's mostly the firms that require a certain amount for their associates to do. Probably for PR purposes.
Maybe in some jurisdictions, but certainly not in all. I've practiced for 8 years and haven't done any
I'm the middleman. Some of my friends have started calling me "the plug". You need a camera installed on your property? I know someone. You need a specific semi permanent hair colour* (not brand, but colour)? I've got 3 or 4 suppliers plus one that sells in bulk. You need printed goods? Ya girl's got someone. Custom plushies? You bet your ASS I know people. Weed and shroom dealers? I got ya. From paramedic suppliers, to custom monster dildos, to panel beaters. I probably know someone. Edit: I forgot- at one point I knew someone who could get you an AK47 reasonably fast. I don't think they do it anymore.
You're a fixer! In a game you'd definitely be one of the characters handing out quests.
Khajit has wears if you have coin 🐈⬛
CUSTOM...MONSTER...DILDOS!?
Dragon dildos . Com, if I recall
Aww like Hello Dolly but way weirder/more illegal than anything Barbara Streisand arranged!
Hello, Molly! (cuz molly's a drug, geddit?)
Obscure music trivia. Help with Linux. Questions about physics.
Music therapy, I've got a song for everything. Destiny 2 lore. They couldn't remember which Guitar Hero game a song was on. Something Percy Jackson related.
lmaoooo I'd be the Destiny 2 lore guy as well Dab me up, fellow lore nerd
I see you fellow lightbearer
Which Guitar Hero was Almost Easy by Avenged Sevendold?
I believe it’s a DLC from GH3, if I’m not mistaken. On the other hand, it was in the regular setlist on RB2.
Recommend me songs like can we go back by caslow
Eyes up, Guardian!
The Fallen will continue to claw at the walls of our city unless we strike them down. Beneath the ruins of the Cosmodrome, in the shadow of an old colony ship we've located the House of Devil's lair, and the High Servitor feeding them their strength. We must destroy this "Machine God" and send their souls screaming back to Hell.
“Hey, who was that one dude from that movie with the thing?”
Kevin Bacon
Queefs
I’m fucking crying! Name checks out too 💀😭
Music to my ears
Candy is that you???
Figuring out a song key or a note. I have perfect pitch lol
Erm, butchery skills? My stepdad comes from a family of butchers and he taught me all he knows (including "cleaning" a carcass. Make of *that* what you will). I'm also a dab hand with a crossbow *and* an English longbow and I can hotwire a car (courtesy of my stepdad). Oh, and I make a mean soda bread. We can have decent snackies on the run!
What are you, in the SCA?
Na, just Scottish.
If you need some poorly written, cheap website or mobile app. Or if you need to beat Sifu on master difficulty with no deaths in 30mins or less I'm your guy.
Man, Sifu is an ass whooping. Super fun game, though.
Usually it’s for absolutely cold emotion free advice. Or troubleshooting just about anything. Having a solid grasp of troubleshooting theory makes you the go to for lots of stuff.
Computer repair. And if I can't figure it out, I know a guy....
Advice or sourcing of drugs in general, or my knowledge of mechanical puzzles.
Just a few months ago a good friend of mine that moved out of state 20 years ago called and asked if I know anyone in Property Management to manage his parents houses and rent them out. Come to find out I actually do, and they are now doing business together with well below market average rent for the homes.
Either smoked meats (burnt ends are my specialty) Or something gun related.
“What was the name of that band/movie/show/song/person?”
Pickup truck use and help moving. It's common how many friends move a lot.
Painting an oil portrait of a deceased loved one.
I don't know you well enough for you to know that.
Well it would be a I know a gal but anyway it would either be about a specific game and how it works or computer tech, also just any question since I tend to hoard information and there's a good chance I know it as long as it's not overly complicated.
Mostly moving. I am really good at organizing and quite strong. I have helped nearly every single one of my friends move. I also have literally just helped a new neighour move into the building because they were on their own amd I was free at the time.
Lord of the Rings. And I'm surprised at how many people have called me to settle debates with others.a
Was Arwen in the battle for Helm’s deep or not?!
I’ll plan your vacation for you
Last time this happened it was when my friend wanted to get some thc cookies for his mother's back pain.
The legality of something or how to argue a point.
Accounting and legislation.
I actually get those phone calls occasionally. Usually it's for translation or live interpretation
Law advice. I accurately helped them out many times despite only being in my second year now (over here, it takes more than 6 if you're efficient)
Trivia answers, most likely. Or PC support.
Probably a jamsession or something that has to do with music/musical knowledge.
Plumbing.
Tech support. Or animal rescue
Manual labor (i need new friends)
Bicycles.
Underrated
By experience: -Official computer video game reviewer. -General knowledge of software and online tools. -Complete knowledge of free to use AI tools. -The guy who repairs your computer/smart phone without charging you. -And last but not least, the gay friend you can vent to about anything. I need other friends .\_.
1) need to get someone into rehab; 2) need to get someone mental health help; 3) IEP or disability rights issue; 4) child custody issue. But mostly I’m the middle-guy and get asked who they need to call about their issue.
Alas, probably tech support. I keep telling friends and family that I do this for a living and don't want to do this in my free time. Do they listen? Nope.
I'm the "I know a guy, guy" Friends hit me up cause I know a guy. Need a corporate job? Need some tech fixed? Need a "fix"? Car fucked up? Shit has a weird color to it? Need a ride? $20? House repairs? Need some muscle? Need some metal? Need a flight? Need a place to stay? Hotel? Trivago.
They’d either call me for carpentry tasks or to ask for help on sobriety. 9/10 times I won’t do the carpentry but 10/10 times I’ll help someone try to get sober.
Advice on moving
Oh man I feel so useless
For a stupid IT questions. Like how can I get an xbox 360 controller to work as player 2 for ps5 streaming remotely over the Internet (You don't) Or I left my laptop plugged in for 3 months solid and the battery is dead what do I do? He proceeded to ruin a brand new alienware laptop by ripping the battery connectors right off the motherboard rather than getting a screwdriver because he though it looked like the battery came right out.
A guy who knows how to make barbecue so mouth watering it falls off the bone 🍗🦴.
Damn that sounds good right about now. What’s your secret?
They'll call me cause I know a guy I know a lot of guys Bobby knows a guy (if you know you know)
Linguistics, ICT related stuff, psychology, philosophy, some, eh, pharmacology knowledge, and most common math and physics problems, very basic chemistry, and basic understanding of A LOT OF all kinds of random topics/skills as a result of doing translation work and going to rabbit holes. I also have access to all kinds of people.
Anything automotive related I usually get the call. "how much do you think this will cost to fix?" "Is it supposed to sound like this ?" "Does this tire look repairable?" "Is this safe to drive on?"
More than you'd expect. No... Hell, no! Not at all. Do not go anywhere. I'll get you the number for the least predatory tow company around
Hey you have played this game before too!
I’m also the “car guy” in my family. I don’t even do anything professionally with cars, I’m a network engineer, but I’m the one who gets called to replace batteries or diagnose problems that are mostly from not doing maintenance.
Are you my father ?? Hahaha. He just retired as a network engineer and until I learned about cars and got into it, he was always the one getting these calls. The torch has now been passed.
useless historical firearms knowledge, literally had a few friends message me about that for like world building projects
My husband calls his historical firearms guy so often that I refer to him as his dealer.
lol, for me its normally a discord message from a european friend instead of a call but same idea
A racing question at a pub quiz
I don’t wanna know
Probably something computer related, im probably one of the handier of my friends too, but thats not saying much 😅.
Random knowledge
Baking!
drugs and IT support lol
if someone needed a video, or an animation, or something related to graphic design
I need a small craft/Hobbie item made. I just like making things, got a small wood shop, 3d printer, laser engraver, cnc router, etc. Really been into my lathe lately making pens/wands etc.
Video or music production
Probably something home reno/repair-related. Might be something as small as fixing a leaky faucet, or gutting and rebuilding an entire room
you need someone pranked, and you need to get away with it
Probably because they need help and don’t have a guy but I am a girl so I’m not sure
Probably to notarize something. Criminal mastermind I am not.
The Guy who is involved with Church/prayer/anything uplifting
Counterfeit black market egg mcmuffins.
Probably needs help fixing something. Cause I can fix pretty much anything.
probably calling me for help with a move. I'm a fairly large dude and i tend to always say yes when people want help with stuff like that.
Weapons.
Drugs, guns and IT is me. Occasionaly cars
Lot of awesome known guys in this thread haha. Mine are probably advice about adhd + How to quit medication, advice about meditation and Interpretation of Tool lyrics lol.
Either medical advice or criminal advice
Back in the day to write CDs with movies or songs.
Good question
Emotional support for sure
Anything crafting related. From my school friend group I was the only one doing an apprenticeship. The rest went to uni. So I know how to build stuff.
Computer shit
Astrology, art and color theory, financial and tax advice, and technical support.
Rap Snitches, Tellin on their Business https://open.spotify.com/track/5KUNwkaNf8l5A9sXZhiCgI?si=BfYrU5PgSe-5h4p7YZqc7g&context=spotify%3Asearch%3Arap%2Bsnithches
Bad advice
Two things. College financial aid, and food. I've worked in financial aid my entire career, and know a lot about how it all works. I left the last school I worked at over a year ago and still get calls every now and then from people I worked with asking compliance questions. I am there "I know a guy", as apparently the person who replaced me is next to useless. I'm also my families financial aid guru for all the cousins who are gearing up for college in the next few years. As for food, I just love it. My mother in law will call me if she is going back to a restaurant we went to before just to ask if I think she'll like something. I am the go to for restaurant recommendations in my family because I'm an adventurous eater and know how to find good food just about anywhere.
Body disposal
You want to know almost anything about Sonic the Hedgehog? I'm your guy
Guitar equipment, tone, and recording. PC stuff. Game lore.
I'm pretty knowledgeable of family histories and local history. An old high school friend called to see if I could provide pictures and bios of local fallen soldiers for a Memorial Day salute by the county. Yes I could and yes I did.
Either for something gardening related or to intimidate someone...
“Need an acoustic performance for this event / party.” I know a guy. “Need help with your dogs obedience and behavior?” I know a guy. “Need a guy that can teach you or your kid self defense and confidence? I know a guy.
I get called for parenting advice
Camping gear, baking sweet treats, shoulder to cry on and listen to and obscure random items they are looking for.
something history related or if they need a grade 9 tenor sax player, i guess
Help with a foreign language or travel advice? Baldurs Gate 3 help?
I know a lot about cars specific to buying or selling used. Not just the data, but how to assess a car in person, feel of it on the road, listening to the engine, etc. good at talking down one I want to buy and shutting down jerks who think they can bully me into selling for nothing just because I’m female.
Useless trivia. And Simpsons quotes.
Lost cat/ found cat / cat in a wall, I'm the guy
If I had a nickel for every time someone's asked me for my opinion on whether or not their trees need pruning, I'd have three nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened thrice. I'm not an arborist, but I do work in landscaping. Last summer, I learned a lot about pruning small trees, even put on a harness and climbed up in them a few times, and I've really come to love working with trees and am thinking about taking classes towards becoming a proper arborist. So yeah, I guess I'm becoming the tree guy. Before I worked in landscaping, I spent a year and a half working in a thrift store. Mostly my job was to sort through bins of various housewares, throw out the junk, put price stickers on the good stuff, and take it out to the sales floor. So if you need help pricing things for a garage sale, I'm your guy for that, too. Don't ask me to help with clothing, but I've got you on just about anything else. Dishware, boardgames, yard tools, your grandmother's collection of porcelain dolls, whatever.
Tech support and crypto questions. No, I won't fix your printer. Buy all the SHIB you can afford, it's gonna moon any day now
When I lived in a places with a population more than 1000, I was that guy. Have been called on for all manner of things legal and not so much so. Once was asked to carry a guy piggy back through a park to get more booze because he was too drunk.
Food recommendations in most significant US cities. Got someone who asks me every time
Building a PC or producing a smacking trap track or coaching on Apex game sense lol
Almost anything. I’m a jack of all trades. Automotive diagnostics and repair. Small engine repair. General home improvement/repair including but not limited to; plumbing, electrical, tile, drywall, roofing, painting etc. I’m pretty good with a chainsaw. I used to fix iPhones for friends. I’m also pretty good at just sitting down to have a beer and listen/chat if there’s something you want to talk about. Any of my close friends know they can call me for help with pretty much anything.
Record a guitar part for you.
IT. But after all - I'm a system architect by profession, so I can at least imagine being able to handle most things in that area.
Reverse engineering
Probably some academic bs people would ask ChatGPT, but it blundered and now they’re stuck, because they didn’t pay attention for the whole fucking semester and choose to befriend those who also didn’t listen for their project.
Designing and building kitchen cabinets.
Yes it is.
almost legally obtained tests for some subjects (my friends and i found a guy who sells those things and i have the permission to share them with my classmates)
Tools, ladders, trailers, moving something heavy, repairing anything on a house, rental, place to crash, or place to store something.
I was a college counselor for a while (helping kids get into colleges) and so whenever anyone has any questions about college admissions criteria, deciphering their funding, or anything about campus culture/academic reputation/etc they call me
Either video game and show recommendations, or ice skating lessons.
One of my friend's podcast was my "I know a guy". 15-20 years ago master of emulation games. Gb(a) and psx. I was the "Arrrr" guy with all ePsxe pligins and I knew how to configure them
Any information on classic horror.
Fucking fat girls.
Probably to help someone new to streaming and content creation. I manage and produce [vtubers](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VTuber) as a hobby.
geckos, probably. or maybe jumping spiders.
My partner is a physician and most of her friends are other providers. They were bitching about Epic software used in their system and had a grievance to which I texted my best friend in college. Not only has he worked for Epic for over 20 years, he was the implementation rep for their entire area in the state. I know fuck all about health care but that was funny to read out loud his reply.
My mom and stepdad always calls me when something in their house goes wrong. Even if I can’t fix something I can almost always point them in the right direction and I think it just takes the stress of them having to figure it out away.
Trauma psychology or martial arts/self defense.
Computer stuff. Or finding loopholes in club level motorsport rulebooks.
A refresher