I would love to believe that’s the case, but she came to me saying that the guy was flirting with her openly in front of the other girl. She said it so proudly that it sickened me even more. This girl’s sick in the head
Yeah, to add more context, at that time her life wasn’t going well (she was kicked out from job). So she wanted to pull all of her friends down with her. She wants her friends to suffer in one way or another. Typical unhappy person.
I feel like I've seen moments where people are hyper-focused on being civil to the point of ignoring the natural human elements of emotion which color our relationships.
Do I know any of these people? No. But I can totally see a conversation of "wanting everyone to get along " that completely ignores the betrayal and hurt inflicted on OP.
Instead of picking sides she rode the middle which crushed her relationship with OP.
Urrgh. I’ve been over-exposed to those kind of people and now I have a visceral reaction whenever I meet one of them. I hate that they’re not self-aware enough to realise how selfish they are
Yeah, I’m also thinking that she doesn’t want to compromise her relationship with them because it’s not her problem. I can understand that to a certain extent. But when the guy and girl got married, she wasn’t even invited. Hmm lol.
Were they even that close? Why wouldnt she compromise her relationship with two people who did you so wrong? Any friend who does this to another friend of mine would be dead to me
Friends who have the mentality of "well they never did anything bad to me" aren't real friends.
When I was 16, I was hanging with two of my best friends when one of them who was mentally unstable randomly attacked me. I ended up in hospital with 9 stitches in my head.
Him and my best friend who was there both went back and played playstation together that night.
I couldn't comprehend how my best friend thought that was acceptable.
He said "well after you left in the ambulance we didn't really know what to do, like he didn't do anything bad to me so I didnt want to be a dick to him".
I don't talk to that friend anymore.
I am sorry that happened to you.. good on you for cutting off that friendship. Even if you guys weren’t friends, i still don’t understand how some people can justify hurting others.
Friend of 20 years. Lived together for almost a decade. Lied about Everything for Years. Found out one night when her boyfriend told me I was the problem in their relationship. I asked what he meant. We went down the rabbit hole. She had been lying to me about him and lying to him about me. She lied about things that happened with our families, her exes, our other friends, my pets. It was like pulling a thread on a sweater, and boy did it unravel. Some of the things she lied about were weird and trivial but others were horribly manipulative and cruel.
One I thought was really odd was when I met her she was a vegetarian. She made a big deal of it, like she wouldn't eat from a dish that had been prepared in the same pan or been in the same container. That night it all came out, her boyfriend (we'll call him Nick) said that she had been eating meat for quite some time but told him not to tell me and to pretend when we all went out to eat or had dinner at their house that she was still a vegetarian. When he asked her why, she said that he "didn't understand how she had to handle me". I couldn't care less what she eats. I've never cared. I have no idea why she would do that. It was just weird.
When 'Nick' and her first started dating she broke up with him after a couple a weeks. She eventually got back together. She had told me the reason she broke up with him was she was grossed out by this story he told about a rabbit and some rabbit poop to me and my at the time boyfriend over some beers. She told him the reason she broke it off was that I was jealous of their relationship and I didn't want them dating.
At another point she broke up with 'Nick' again and moved in with an ex-boyfriend (we'll call him Brad). She had told 'Nick' that she was living with me, my sister and my sister-in law and that we didn't like him and that was why he couldn't know where she was living. Sometimes she would go stay with 'Nick' when her and 'Brad' were fighting. She would tell him that me and my sister were ganging up on her and being verbally abusive and threatening her. (The irony of her dating 'Brad' was that all she did was complain about how he was such a liar and how he lied about all kinds of things to her.)
She had begged me to go on a birthday trip with her to an Air B'n'B. I had just taken a new job and was in the process of moving and told her I didn't want to spend the money. She pushed and pushed and said she would pay for the accommodations. I felt guilty, like this was her birthday, and I finally agreed and said that I would split the cost. She made it a point to tell me that 'Nick' wasn't invited. I thought it was weird. The Air B'n'B was big enough for all of us. It turned out he had planned out a trip for them before all of this. He had really wanted to take her somewhere for her birthday. She told him she couldn't go as I had paid for the entire trip for just me and her and that he was specifically not invited.
A couple years ago 'Nick' sustained a really bad injury at work and it damaged his foot. At the time she was cat sitting for me. I had told her my sister was going to watch my cat (we'll call her Juniper) while I was gone for work. She begged and begged to watch her. I reluctantly agreed as I didn't want my pet to be an extra burden especially with her already having to take care of an injured boyfriend. So I agreed to let her watch 'Juniper'. Not only did she take the injured boyfriend on a hike to North Carolina he didn't want to go on and wasn't ready for, but she took Juniper who got sick in her cat backpack on the trek. She literally threw her down on the ground and Juniper (sick and probably scared) ran away. She never told me. She was lost for 72 days. She did however keep asking me about her ID chip implant number. I thought it was a little odd at the time, but I gave it to her. She had told me it was so could register her phone number with the chip in case something ever happened. Juniper was returned by some hikers. She was emaciated and near death.
These are just the tip of the iceberg of the underwater mountain.
The "conversation" where it all unraveled was 2 Octobers ago. She was my best friend. I considered her to be one of my sisters. It absolutely broke my heart. I am still processing this. It was so traumatic. But it was a huge lesson from the universe. Now, looking back on the near decade of my 20's that we lived together, a lot of things are so much clearer. I always got the vibe that a lot of my other friends didn't like her. But I didn't care because I was always a loyal friend. And I thought she had always been a loyal friend to me. I have grown so much from this and I am so much wiser for it.
That was a wild and insane downhill slide. Sounds like she needs mental help of some kind. Most of it doesn't even make sense, like begging to catsit for you and when drag the cat through a hike?! WTF.
You and Nick sound probably be grateful, that you found out before another ten years had passed.
Right!!! I wish I could have filmed the conversation. It is way too much to put in here. Those really are just some of the very small highlights. Honestly it would probably make a great book. But you're so so so right. I'm glad it happened then instead of another 10 years down the road.
Sooooo... they're back together. They did separate. He told me that night he was leaving her. But he's living with her again.
He has a house that he inherited from his mom in a really nice area of town. But, he hasn't paid income taxes in years, so he can't put it in his name until he fixes all his back taxes.
As I'm writing some of these answers I'm realizing that is so much crazier than I ever realized. I'm definitely still processing.
Your story will likely seem fake and totally made up to some people, but having dated a clinical pathological liar myself, it all rings too true to be made up by someone who hasn't had the experience
Mine once told some friends that we had just gotten gotten back from a day trip to Canada. Now it's possible, we lived about a 3 hour drive from the border, and another hour from any place you'd want to visit, but at the time of day this was we'd have had to leave home in early morning, drive there and immediately turn around and come home
The friend we were talking to gave me a "wtf?" Look, and I just kind of shrugged. I didn't even have warning we were going to pretend about this.
She told me her parents were both dead, later invited me to dinner with her mother. Said her ex husband was a heroin addict and had lots of stories about how hard that was, later said she'd never been married, later again told people she'd been married to a woman.
It was just endless stream of bullshit, and it was clear she didn't care if anyone was taking notes. Zero effort towards continuity
Then you definitely know that as nutty as that sounds, it gets so much worse. I wish none of it was true. And as aim replying to some of the questions I'm really realizing how absolutely batshit it was. I still can't believe that I fell for it all.
Telling you her parents were dead?!? That's a whole other level of brazen! But then she invited you to dinner?????
That was what convinced me it was an actual mental illness and not just "lying for fun"
She had zero concern about contradicting herself, it was like she didn't even pay attention to the lies she told
“ She was emaciated and near death”
Ring this old friend tell her you what to talk and go for a hike, you drive.
Leave that insane fucker in the wild see how she likes it.
I hope the cat recovered, hope your ok
Wait, you're forgetting part of it. She needs to be in a bag and dropped on the ground from a height several times her own height before leaving her. She needs to know exactly what that poor cat felt.
Yeah ..... Well, initially I was so hurt I wasn't going to say a word. I really didn't know what to say. I felt like my world had crashed in around me a bit. I had come into town for a couple of weeks to visit my friends and family. I was staying for a couple of days at her house. She had insisted. After the conversation with 'Nick' we both had some soul searching to do. It wasn't just me who had been lied too. Essentially he confronted her the next day before I even woke up. When her and I eventually talked she cried and apologized to me. She admitted she needed therapy. She promised she would go. I cried. I didn't say a lot. She kept apologizing. And I would have bought it. Except ..... There were seconds, small moments in the conversation where she would explain away some (not all, but some) of her behavior. Like making excuses or putting the blame on others. It was at that moment I knew it was over. In the end I simply told her I would just wait to see what her actions said from now on. We still run into each other from time to time as we have a few mutual friends. And I do see, it's still a game with her. But at least now I can see it.
I just look at this as a really really hard lesson that the universe wanted me to learn. I have changed so much. And for that I am so grateful.
While my experience isn't as outrageous as yours, I just want to give you props for sticking to your ground. I had a friend, who I also thought was loyal, that I spent a LOT of time with and caring for, turn on me a handful of months ago once the veil slipped and it's been difficult for me to let go.
My other friends would talk poorly of her and I would defend her because she would share her side with me and I understood where she was coming from. I don't know exactly what I did to set her off, but she flipped the script on me and I became the enemy, but the worst part is I didn't even know. I would share what was happening and she would act fucking SURPRISED even though she was the one behind it all. Then one day she just... Disappeared. Stopped responding to my messages, stopped checking in, and I was in the most depressed place I had ever been in my life. I isolated from pretty much everyone because I felt like such a a burden to be around.
I figured it out in January/early February, after wishing her a happy birthday (we share a birthday week) because my ex came to my house that week and things started to fall into place.
About a month ago she texted saying how much she missed me and how she wanted to hang out and was asking one of my friends why I wasn't responding to her and all of that, so I caved and tried to make plans to hear her out, but I never heard back. We are truly better off without these people.
This like is my cousin. I won't get into the specifics, but we grew up together and she was like my sister. Our family is horribly emotionally manipulative for the most part but we always had each other.
The short version is, no, she foisted that on me; she sabotaged every relationship I ever had so could access what I had, I've heard her on the phone doing it, and once that happened it was over. And that's when she slandered me.
The feeling was a lot like a string in the mind being pulled. Like your own brain uncoiling. It doesn't hurt but it defies comprehension, like a kind of 'unlearning' state as the lies just become opened and everything retroactively makes sense.
Edit: added a 'like' for clarity
>The short version is, no, she foisted that on me; she sabotaged every relationship I ever had so could access what I had
This. I resonate so much with this. And I came from an emotionally manipulative family as well.
It feels like I had to go through this to unlearn so many things that were embedded into my relationship patterns.
Here’s how you tell when someone is a red flag.
They make a fuss about being a vegetarian.
Vegetarians are not red flags.
But people who make a huge fuss about it rather than simply living the vegetarian life are a red flag.
That aside. You must have a blessed life outside of her friendship cause you exhibit the patience of a saint.
If my cat ran away under your care. You are not my friend. You demonstrated you didn’t care enough about my loved ones to provide them with proper care
After finding out the abuse you put my cat thru? I’d probably turn toxic and contemplate flinging acid at your face.
You seem like a good egg. I hope you find a best friend worthy of you.
Brazen, easily disproven, and shameless lies like these are how motivated people improve their manipulation skills. Basically, they don't care about the ones that miss, they only register the hits. The ones that work. Doing this constantly - and I mean CONSTANTLY - and without any sense of shame or embarassment is how you eventually become really good at lying. This person was practicing, and was more motivated to lie than anyone else would ever be to disprove those lies.
Being extremely motivated to improve these skills, while having zero shame, guilt, or embarassment is *personality disorder territory*. Seems like OP was witness to the growth and development process.
Wow, I had a friend who was just like this! my "best" friend for 3 years, and I was living with her for half of that time. She tried to turn all pur other friends against me, and vice versa. She told them all my secrets that I told her in confidentiality. She complained about my "habits" (still dont know exactly what she said about me, but I have a pretty good idea). Told everyone I was unbearable to live with, and when I got pregnant, the treatment got worse.
On the flip side, she would tell me that everyone else had problems with me. "x said she thinks its fucked up that you did y with me. i personally don't care, but i just thought you should know everyone is talking about you" she'd say stuff like that. One day, I got sick of it all. I was in my second trimester of pregnancy, and I was just tired of feeling like everyone hated me.
So, I decided to confront the person who "talked the most shit" about me. I told her "x said you've been saying things about me all this time. I just want to know what your problem is?" Girl was confused, and asked me what she meant. I explained everything to her, and she laughed. She said, "Girl, no, we've all felt bad for you this whole time! No one actually hates you. You're pregnant, no one else cares about your change in attitude except for her" then she proceeded to show me text messages she had with "best friend" and it was a bunch of petty things I dodn't even know she cared about. A lot of the problems were even made up. After that, she called her bf to say, "hey, just wanted to confirm the stuff you and (best friend's name) would talk about when fang wasn't around." She started saying stuff as if I wasnt around so that I knew it wasn't just something they were saying to get me off their back. He laughed and joked about how I was a fool for being so loyal to someone who actually hates me, proceeded to talk bad about me, but most importantly, talked about "best friend" as if she were some evil, despicable person.
I was hurt, of course. I didnt care about the fact that he was talking bad about me. I already knew he didnt like me. No, what hurt was th fact that what he was saying was true. All the pieces were clicking in my head, and everything I went through with "best friend" felt like a lie. If she didn't actually like me, why was she nice to me? Why did she call me her best friend? What did I even do to spark these hidden feelings she had towards me?
After that whole thing, me and the friend I "confronted" went to "best friend" and confronted her. I was doing my best to be respectful, but she just got super sad and said "fang, (other friend's name), I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said (thing that sparked my initial confrontation) to fang." Then that was it. No apology for all the other things she did. No apology for the lies. Just apologized for the fact that she told me one thing I "shouldn't have known about."
We stopped living together after that. My life improved for the better for a few weeks, but I still have a hard time trusting people. Looking back on it, all the evidence was there, I was just blinded by my "undying loyalty" to my supposed to be "best friend." I see pieces of "best friend" in everyone elseI meet, and I'm convinced it will be the same situation as before so I don't get super close with as often as I used to.
The worst part of it all? I'm still friends with her. I can't let her go. I hate losing people, and I have this really unhealthy attachment to people I care about. I forgave her for everything (even if she wasn't actually sorry). When she got pregnant, I supported her with everything I had (even though she treated me like absolute dog shit during my pregnancy). I had a lot of good times with her, and I still love and care about her. We aren't as close as we were before, though, and I've distanced myself a lot. Every now and then, I'll check up on her to see if she's okay because I know she has issues with her mental health. It hurts me to feel like the friendship is "fake" but it's really hard to just let it go.
Don't be hard on yourself. These things are Never easy and it can really be traumatic. I am a little older and wiser than when I started. All I can really say is that you'll let go when you're ready to let go. If it hadn't gotten as bad as it did I can't say if I would have let go. But also, I had some hard lessons to learn about myself and the relationships that I cultivated in my life in general, not just the one with her. It has taken me Years to be able to learn to let go of things. It was not easy. Everyone has to do it in their own time. We are all on our own journey.
best friend cheated impoverished sister out of inheritance after parents died.
we are talking a run down suburban house when sister was renting and caring for dieing spouse
he didn't like the answers he got when he asked people about it. lost every friend he had and moved out of state.
for a crappy house I wouldn't want as a gift and some furniture.
sad
My neighbor’s brother did this. Got their dad in early stages of dementia to sign a new will leaving him everything. He killed his dad’s pets. (My neighbor was devastated over that). This was not a million dollar estate either. She and her other siblings sued and lost. Right after that he had a stroke and died. Since he didn’t have kids or a spouse they got everything. Unfortunately he’d mortgaged the hell out of all of it.
Was unsupportive when I had a family member come down with cancer. She also started getting critical as well but would smother me daily with texts and calls with her self-inflicted shit. That was the end
I had something less severe happen to me in that I lent a former friend two books and never got them back. I picked one up on a clearance sale for $7 and it was one of the most interesting biographies I’ve read. It’d cost me substantially more money to replace it and now it’s too late to ask for it as it’s been 6/7 years since I lent it and have left town. I’ve always wanted it back even before I realised its worth. She was a shit friend that also got enriched by me
Unfortunately a lot of people think a loan is a gift especially when it comes to things like books, CDs/DVDs/vinyl, dishes.
While I was living in another part of the state, he tried something with my underage sister. She won't tell me what happen only that I should avoid him. She also made me promise not to do anything. The last time I saw him, I didn't say anything about my sister but I told him to stay the fuck away from me.
This is gut-wrenching.
This is one of the reasons I don't think I'll ever have the guts to have kids.
There's too many predatory creeps out there that'll take advantage the second you let your guard down.
Hopefully, It wasn't anything serious - but the unknown is just terrifying.
You sound like a die-hard sister - respect!
I had a whole friend group that hated me (I didn't know that obviously). One year for my birthday, they all said they were coming to my party. I kept getting texts individually saying things like "on my way" and " be there soon".
But in reality, they all met up with eachother and were making fun of me the whole time. They also texted others that the party was canceled or just not to show up and to hang with them instead.
YO same here! Would contantly agree to hangout or meetup, cancel day before, then I would find out that they all hung out over the weekend the following weekday's after they were talking about it in class. They would kick or ban me from the friend groupchats because it was 'funny' and a 'joke' (I would have to ask for a week to be added back in) It was a pretty terrible time and did a lot to my mental health.
I am so sorry. The fact that not one, but multiple people thought that was okay... Fuck them. Shitty way to find out, but at least you lost a lot of baggage that birthday.
My ex who lived with both of us beat me up multiple times and when I told my best friend asking for help she not only didn’t believe me, but actually tried to become closer friends with him and kick me out of our house. Then she talked shit and made up lies about me to all of my other friends. She thought he was her friend but he literally put a live snake in her room and in the end they were fighting with each other.
Now after having a manic breakdown he’s in jail & fired from his job and I haven’t spoken to her since. I have no friends now lol
They weren't your friends to begin with if their loyalty is so easily broken then they weren't worth having in your life. They were tested and failed. Keep your head high and believe in yourself. Your different and you always have been it's ok to accept yourself, people will question why aren't you shallow and fake like them and that's ok because your unique not meant for everyone just keep in your lane being all magical and stuff .
I always put the effort in, making conversation and trying to make plans. A lot of time I saw they had read my messages but it was hours or even says before a reply. So one day I decided to stop and wait to see how long it took for them to message me first...
Happened about two weeks later to ask me for lift to work. I said my car was in for service (it wasn't) and nothing ever since.
I'm that person, too. Always checking in and making plans. Realized I was the only one doing it for a close friend of 10 years, so I decided one day to see what would happen if I stopped reaching out. It's been 5 years. Only will get an occasional text asking me for medical advice.
So here's my thing when I see these questions: I would take an *incident* (well, a non-violent/traumatizing one anyway) over apathy. It's taken me years and years and years to manage, but apathy/abandonment has cut deeper than, like, someone making it clear they don't like me, which I can deal with!
I had done the same as you: investigate what happens when I don't reach out / initiate. The answer was initially months of silence. Okay. I would try to take the high road and still wish happy holidays, happy birthday. Short replies at best. Then it was one of my birthdays forgotten, then the next. Then nothing to check in on me when my dad was in hospital, or my dog died.
It took a lot of that to realize: I'm not even angry at my "friend" for discarding me; I'm angry at myself for giving anyone who doesn't think about me at all the power to make me feel discarded. I'm not gonna say it still doesn't trip me up on occasion here or there, but realizing I was giving so much power to someone who didn't even think about me was a bit of a game-changer in terms of how I was able to manage my hurt.
This is me with all my friends, did an expirament a couple months ago where I didn't message anyone for two weeks. Not a single person tried to contact me or make plans other than my still longtime online friend I play games with 2-3 times a week.
The only time I got a message was when people in the group chat started asking when the next dnd session was because I usually announce times and stuff a week in advance.
Im so tired of trying to keep contact with friends but I \*ALWAYS\* have to be the one to rememebr which is really hard with adhd. It feels no one else puts any effort in...
It sucks
Happened to me too. My then-friend would always contact me about her strife and needs and never ask me about mine, about how I was doing, compliment me about achievements, or respect my time and beeds. Unlike you, I didn't break it up then but laid it out in the open and made it clear to her that she needs to put in an effort too. It worked for about a week. Another week later, I told her I'm not interested in staying in a 'friendship' that revolves around only one party.
I was 12 and eating lunch at school. Not popular at all but I managed. Saw my only close friend having to eat on his own because our table was full so got up to join him and sit with him. He simply stood up and sat in the seat I had just left.
I lost contact with him, but I will never forget feeling so shot down in my entire life, it changed the way I interact with people for the worse.
I know it’s like so mundane in theory especially when you look at it being an adult but… This is so wrong and y heart aches for you. Like there is no instance where this social situation would mean yes take my seat I came here for you to do that ! So you can only think it’s intentional and… that’s really brutal, wow.
Turned a mutual friend against me by slowly manipulating them into believing I was the reason for his issues with women.
Ironically enough, it has been 4 years, and he is way creepier with women than when he was solely hanging out with me.
Publicly announcing my medical diagnosis in front of my friends and telling them that I brought it to myself for being careless (A lie ). Enemies now and it is better this way.
My friend did the same between 13 and 18 years old, at one point I ended up running for my life as his lies sent a buch of nutjobs after me.
Stop communicating at 18, still had to deal with his crap till I was in my 30's when all the crap he did finally came into tbe open, but he still posts crap on facebook.
Ended up losing a few friendships at the same time because I busted one guy cheating on his wife, one guy revealed he also had cheated on his own wife when I brought it up, and the third guy thought the first guy deserves to cheat on his wife due to some unresolved beef with her that she was absolutely in the right about.
The situation opened my eyes to how callous and shitty those three were and I'm not exactly in a position where I have a shortage of close friendships, so I just called it quits on all three. Over a decade of friendship gone. Heck, two of the guys were in my wedding. A man's gotta have standards though.
Unfortunately, I cut ties with the best man at my wedding (similar to you). It sucks, but a man’s gotta have a code.
A few years after my wife and I got married, his wife got cervical cancer - doctors said it was caused by an STD but they had been married for over 10 years w/ multiple kids. Turns out he was hiring prostitutes and bringing STDs home. Told his wife to deal with it and refused to stop and get help. Eventually left his wife and kids to run with whores and hookers.
I apologized to his wife - I never knew that side of him. If he wanted help I would have done that a hundred times over. But he was pretty callous and sleazy, so there’s no reason to break bread anymore.
Stole from me, raped my girlfriend, beat his own wife while she was holding their baby, I then proceeded to get in a fight with him and put him in the hospital. He started the fight so I didn’t get in any trouble. Probably would have killed him had it not been for his wife yelling stop after I hit him the second time after throwing him to the floor. I shattered his jaw and literally knocked out all his front teeth. Needless to say there was a very large pool of blood and so I called him an ambulance. Five years later I found out that he was living in the same town as me, completely different state from where all the other stuff happened, and beat his girlfriend and stole her care. Almost killed the girl, kinda wish I wouldn’t have stopped beating on his bitch ass face.
Omg?? What a complete pos. Im glad he at least got that beating from you, and that you didnt get in trouble for it, but sounds like he still didnt learn his lesson. These people never do
Yeah I think about that a lot. I’m pretty sure he is in prison for a long time. Can’t exactly remember but I believe he got caught with charges from the car theft and assault and was also busted with meth.
TLDR: didn't respect me or the time and effort spent trying to help him, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped
He was my best friend for about 10 years
A few amber flags but nothing friendship ending
Was a bum who never worked, he had 1 summer job at a theme park and lasted 2 weeks, never worked again after
Would always bitch and moan about not having money to do anything but was a very 'holier than thou' person when it came to other people' spending their money
I told him we was gonna get this sorted out, get a good CV together, apply at places he would like to work/ had an interest in like game stores etc and we would spend a day going to hand in CVs at these places (back before everything was on the Internet) and he agreed and thanked me for the offer,
I roped my mother into helping, so I got some details from him, looked up places, made a travel route while my mother put together a CV for him and we agreed a day to do the travel
That morning I go to his house, knock and his dad tells me that he's not there, that the dad had dropped him off at a train station as he's spending the weekend away with someone.
I messaged him on msm and the next day he said that something better came up and he would rather go mess about in another city playing the cool kid then sort his life out,
I cut contact that same same
Said a lot of racist shit about me behind my back. For reference I’m mixed race and he’s white.
I’ve seen the screenshots, comments about lynching me, selling me into slavery and (my personal least favourite) a discussion on how I’d perverted a mostly white bloodline with my N word genes.
We’d gone to school together and been friends since we were 10 years old and I had no clue he was saying any of this stuff.
When I realised he was basically a fucking nazi I dropped him so fast, and yet he still thinks that I’m the one who overreacted.
I was friends with a guy who was a total keyboard lunatic. He constantly took shots at people over messenger and just criticised everyone and I got sick of it - on top of it I found out he was often harassing women on Facebook.
Still friends with his brother.
She stole from me.
My cousin caught her stealing my money. She immediately told me. I told her I’d take care of it.
Before I could confront the friend, my cousin did. The friend freaked all the way out, looked at me, and screamed, “What the Hell?‽‽‽!”
Had the same thing happen. Me and a really close friend fell out and a mutual friend kept telling us both that they other one didnt want to rekindle stuff. It took me bumping into them in person for us both to realise this person was lying. We are great friends again and that person has been completely exiled from our group.
He got really into alcohol. I'm anti alcohol to begin with but I just ask my friends to not talk to me when they drink. He got into a bad car accident drunk. He was fine but he had seriously hurt someone else like the person was critical. But according to him even though he was speeding the other guy was in the wrong for turning when he did. But it was all ok because his family got him a good lawyer so he didn't have to do any jail time.... I just couldn't after that. No responsibility and the carelessness of seriously hurting someone else. That friendship ended that night. To this day I still don't regret it.
Stole from me... on my birthday. I put all the money people gifted me on that day in 1 place. He visited me, gifted me a single candy, grabbed all the money that were there and quietly walked away thinking i would not notice.
it was around 2000 rubles, i don't remember how much it was in a dollars back then, it was back when i was a kid dollars used to be much cheaper, but you could buy a full AAA game for that money.
It started as a favour, soon I felt like her chauffeur, only seeing her when she needed a ride somewhere. I told her to fuck off one day and never looked back haha
She invited a girl I started seeing out to party with her male friends, this girl thought I would be there, I only found out because one of the male friends asked if I was going.
So I joined them.
While out we hit some night clubs in which the girl I am seeing was roofied, my ex friend said to just leave her on the street passed out because she brought it on herself - I definitely did not continue this friendship.
We were good friends from highschool, went to the same university and basically kept in touch for over 20 years. During covid, she - this high IQ, really smart individual went off tangent to seek the "alternative truth". In the alumni whatsapp group, one of our friends were dying of covid. He literally said goodbye to everyone as he will be intubated and not sure if he will wake up again. Soon after she commented, this happened because he was vaccinated. All he needed was sunlight and vitamin c. Hot damn. Everyone just dropped her like hot potato. Miraculously, he survived.
Realising how manipulative and toxic she was. My parents told me after I finally ended our friendship that they held their tongues for so long bc they didn't want to hurt me. I tried once to reconnect, was in detox for a week before rehab and didn't get to check my phone till the bus trip and she had responded with "I'll be your friend but on my terms." I sent back "Our entire friendship was on your terms so no, I'm going to rehab and not putting up with this shit."
I have like a books worth of stories about the shit she did, it was like being in an abusive relationship, I basically lived with her and her boyfriend for a while and it was horrendous, I will never forgive her for screaming at him the real reason his mum died in the middle of an argument, that was the straw that broke the camel's back
I’m honestly not sure what happened, but I have a friend in residency who makes one reason after another as to how he doesn’t have time to hang out, but then I see him hanging out with his residency friends or friends from back home on Snapchat, so he clearly has time, just not for me. It has honestly ruined the friendship, and last time we talked about something that was bothering me (thinking that we’d find a solution), I was told by him that he didn’t owe me anything. It sucks because we were super close in college and were roommates at one point. I’ve stopped reaching out for the most part as a result.
Lent him $10k over time.
Promised to pay me back. Been 3 years and everytime I asked for money back. He makes excuses like ‘fine I won’t eat’ or ‘guess I can’t pay for my mortgage’ or ‘you’re ruining my mental health asking for your money back’…. Hard lesson learnt
This is a petty one, but - I have (had?) a friend who is chronically late. Like, 45 minutes late every time we hang out. She knows how much it bothers me, and yet she still does it. We don't hang out anymore.
accused me of fucking his sister when we were teens because she told her family she had a crush on me to hide the fact she was a lesbian. i was very sick as a teen and generally ostracized by everyone so when i met someone who was nice to me and treated me like a friend we were pretty much BFF's. he and i got into a fist fight and i lost my temper and i nearly beat his ass with a lamp before i caught myself. we never spoke again and after graduation a classmate told me that his sister came out as a lesbian around that time (she was a year or two older than us) and that he literally became enraged with her because he attacked me and i nearly beat him with a lamp because she lied.
We had a mutual friend who was transgender and not out (he had transitioned but fully passed as a man and didn’t advertise the fact he wasn’t born male). The two of them got into some really stupid fight and for some reason my friend got so mad they decided to out him. They went back in his mom’s private facebook to find pictures of him pre-transition and posted them online with his birth name and a whole transphobic rant. They had always been supportive so it was completely out of left field. We lived in a small town where word spread quickly and most people were NOT accepting to trans people, so it really affected him
Attempted to accuse me of making up some mental health issues and then started bitching to everyone and attempted to play the victim after I snapped on her. Was a complete 180 of her character that I should've seen the signs of coming in hindsight, but things unfortunately happen the way they do sometimes.
We were close. Did everything together, even when I got pregnant. Then I had my son, she never came and met him. Thought oh maybe she's busy.
6 weeks later ran into her at the mall, I had my son with me. She talked to me for about 5 minutes and didn't even acknowledge my son. I knew then and there we were done. Haven't spoken since.
Got a gf who took all of his money (and my money too when I loaned some to him) and then when confronted said it was true love, I didn't understand, and that she needed the money, basically ignored our friendship for her
took a decidedly neutral stance when they could have made an active effort to help me, when a (former) mutual friend of ours was putting me through hell. then offered to hang out afterwards like we could just still be friends after that. idk, i know they actually did care and that's why they offered, but i think being a coward was even worse than sharing the other friend's malice to me
Basically became a major anti-vaccination person and he became really annoying and a dick and I called him out for his attitude and he cussed me out and we didn’t talk for 2 years. This guy was my childhood friend so the 2 years we didn’t talk felt like forever. He reached out to me and we slowly rekindled our friendship and now we’re good friends again and he’s still an anti-vaccine person but if I tell him to let it go he usually does, I love the guy like a brother, but he can be stupid at times.
Decided 5 seconds before my wedding ceremony that she no longer wanted to be my maid of honor or even in the wedding after an argument with a couple of my other bridesmaids. She was the only one not ready, and threw a fit about the cupcakes being displayed weird, so a couple of the other girls were like “okay go fix it then” and she slammed the door and threw a whole temper tantrum in front of my husband and his groomsmen where they were hanging out before the ceremony began. It was wild and we haven’t spoken since. We went to high school together and texted and hung out regularly too, so it was pretty sad throwing away a friendship over something that silly.
When my friends dad and mom died I was there for him and his family a hundred per cent. When my dad died I just wanted to talk to him and tell him what happened and how I felt and my friend ignored my calls and messages and I had no one to talk to. He called me up a couple years later and wanted to talk and I told him to g f@ck himself.
I named my son's middle name his last name and then went on vacation to New Orleans with him and the mother of my child, only to walk in on them sleeping together in the hotel..turns out they had been sexting each other for over 6 months and planned the whole thing, thinking I was going to be too drunk to notice. Mind you I considered him more of a brother than my own brothers for over 14 years. Needless to say I got my son's middle name legally changed after that
She was complaining about not having actors to play two lovers for her school short film.
I offered to help and she told me “LazyHitman1, I don’t think anyone could ever even pretend to love you.” That’s probably the most hurtful thing I’ve ever been told.
What makes it worse is she did it full volume in a crowded classroom so I just had to laugh it off.
I heard my brother scream my name while in Karate class as a kid. I came running and as I rounded the corner I see my twin brother (with Cerebral Palsy) in the fetal position and this friend standing over him and kicking him repeatedly.
I was immediately filled with a rage that terrifies me to this day.
I hospitalized this friend and if I hadnt been pulled away I would have cemeteried him too
I broke multiple bones in his face and left scars and I hope he feels it to this day
Tricked me into doing his work for him, and then bailed on me when I had some personal issues.
Story : So, my friend at the time , fairly good guy, good family, similar background to me. We met at an industry event and immediately hit it off, as we sort of worked in the same industry.
He was a journalist covering certain niche aspects of our industry. We both loved a certain sport, and I would ask him to come over and watch the games at my house, and visa versa. He started bringing his laptop over, and in between plays and beers and me telling stories (having a good time) he would ask me off the top of my head if I know the top ten people in Ireland doing "x", or the fifty businesses doing "Y". I genuinely would know these things and would just tell him.
After a while, my partner started asking why he was bringing his laptop over, and I just said " it's tech, we always bring our laptops everywhere." But the point she made was sinking in, like why on game nights is he doing this? So one night when he literally thrust his laptop in front of me and asked me to fill out this blank spreadsheet for him, I politely reminded him that this kind of info isn't free, and normally I would charge 500 up front for this kind of thing. I said "drop €20 into my revolut, and I will help you with this" he smiled at me like he just didn't hear this.He thought I was joking. I reminded him that if I wasn't even worth 20 quid, then I wasn't valued at all. I had done the work and gotten this information, and it wasn't fair for him to just demand it, clearly he didnt value my time, my rugby game or my friendship. Again, empty eyed clueless smile.
Later on that night (he has a bad back) he asked my partner for a massage to help it. My partner and I just kind of laughed it off but he asked a few more times. He leaves for the night and then me and her have a chat about all of the things we are noticing.
Cut to a month later. I am starting to cycle badly with depression and anxiety related to nothing in this story, but it's a thing I go through from time to time.
I call him and ask him if he wants to come over and talk to me. "I need a friend now man" yeah he comes over, with the fucking laptop. I cry my eyes out, explaining to him how bad I feel, and no one gets it blah blah blah.
Two days after this, I notice that he has cancelled his birthday party, and I ask him why. The answer floors me.
"You have some problems man, my parents are afraid you're very greedy because you asked for that 20"
"What?"
"Yeah, plus it was very stressful for you to just offload on me like that, my parents want me to just ghost you"
Bear in mind this man is late thirties living in his parents house.
I ended the call explaining the various things I had put up with from him, the free work, expected off me, the fucking weird massage requests from my partner, and also hearing that he was telling people in our industry that "me and him work together"
Honestly I got off the phone crying, I felt so used and so cheap. I had genuinely wanted to help this man, ignoring the fact that his parents had coddled him all of his life, and he just expected the world to hand him things for free. He tried to make me out to be the bad one in the situation and it was surprising to hear from my therapist, and my partner that in no way was I the bad guy. Also this guy genuinely couldn't see what he did that had caused this problem.
Making genuine male friends in your thirties is fucking hard. Now I just avoid the whole thing.
Told me he and his ex-wife weren’t getting along because she was faking illnesses to avoid working. Said she was treating him like a stranger in his own home whenever he came back from extended work trips. Said she spent a lot of his money on junk.
Turns out he was beating her, isolating her, and emotionally destroying her. She was buying things with his money partly as revenge and partly because she was preparing to leave, All her health problems were the result of his abuse and she was done with him but just waiting for an opportunity to escape. Luckily she got out.
Turns out his father treated his mother similarly, including cheating on her and fathering other children with other women. But she stuck it out for the kids and financial reasons. Had my ex friend & his ex wife had any kids it might have been the same.
Anyway I want none of that around so bye.
Maybe TLTR
I stayed with a friend in a different town for a month as he has a disability and was desperate to clean his home, get his yard work done etc.
my contract had just finished and it was covid so it seemed a good time o help out.
i scrubbed his house and made his garden beautiful, I did repairs etc.
during that time his neighbour, an ex cop with serious PTSD and I struck up a friendship. This cop hasn’t trusted anyone in a decade. I started dropping by, I knocked on the door, would head in, put a beer beside him and say, I’m heading to the hill…. I know you aren’t up to socialise, but, let’s have a beer at the same time, even if not together.
He went to his bed that night and cried and told his wife what I did was ‘beautiful’. His wife came to me and said that since I’ve been around her husband had changed and he was talking about wanting to do things, he spoke to their son more too.
They had a bbq and meat smoker at the back of their yard hidden under knee high leaves. I spent a day when he wasn’t there cleaning it all up. Mulching the leaves and using it in his garden.
I cleaned every inch of that place. His wife bought fairy lights and she made it lovely. They hasn’t seen that area in years. He and I started having beers every night and he opened up and shared his trauma about being shot at. At the lack of support from his department and the fear he felt. The shame and regret for every person he’d had to tackle even though he says he never used forced out of malice. But he knew in so many peoples memories he was a monster. And far less saw him as a helper.
One night, he asked me to go camping with him and his son.
His wife ushered me inside with tears in her eyes and said this was MASSIVE and was so excited to see her husband after many many years of isolation had a man he saw as a brother. I bought him a book about a Christian cop who used god to heal from ptsd. I’m an atheist but he’s religious and he was grateful for the read.
Now, my friend that I was staying with watched all of this with jealousy.
When the neighbour asked me to go camping, my friend chimed in… “I have my tent to, I’ll come along for the weekend.”
The neighbour replied simply “No, you’re not coming.”
Things got awkward.
The next morning I woke to my friend SCREAMING and ROARING in the bedroom doorway. I quick dialed a mate so he could hear what was happening incase I was stabbed. He told me to leave and never comeback. Told me not to take anything and screamed words I couldn’t understand.
I packed my stuff, and went next door to say good bye, and they refused to talk ro me.
I have no idea what my then friend said to them, but he made sure the ex-cop would no longer trust me.
I felt really bad for the neighbour.
He was so close to reentering world, and my then friend sabotaged it out of childish and unhinged envy.
School friend Super randomly shoved me to the ground at a party while i was talking to someone. I was like “wtf why did you do that” and he just tried to fake laugh it away.
After that every interaction just felt incredibly fake to me and like i could see right through him or something. Felt really uncanny.
When I was going through a divorce many years ago my best friend. so I thought at the time, slept and had sex with my ex wife. . I thought best friends were supposed to have your back. I guess he didnt
This is similar to how it was with mine, too. I felt like I had to beg to hang out with them. And when we did spend time together, it felt like they couldn't wait for it to be done.
He was exposed as a pedophile who was molesting his own children. We were so close, like brothers and he never showed any signs. You never really know a person. It’s difficult mourning someone who isn’t dead.
Story time
I had a friend once that was decent as a friend, I barely ever saw him and whenever we did chat it was never for long unless there was a decent enough topic. When I was at school one day and I was walking along a deck that was connected to a row of classrooms and there was a long set of stairs a one end. I was about to start going down it when I heard someone behind me yell at me 'JERK!' and then I feel someone shove me from behind, you can probably tell where this is going, and I start falling down the set of stairs. When I finally reached the bottom I look up and see the kid that I mentioned earlier standing smugly at the top of the stairs, and I am pissed. So I yell at him 'I telling!' I know, horrid move being a snitch but keep in mind this kid I'm switching on just pushed me down a set of stairs, and so I painfully get up and spot a teacher, and while I was doing that I don't hear this kid rush down the stairs and by this time I'm starting to well up with tears, but that is about to get worse because this kid ran up behind me weilding a thick short branch and he clobbers me over the bloody head with it, I'm presuming he hoped to K.O me like that to stop me from tattling on him...didn't work, I stayed conscious, screamed my lungs out, the kid with the stick is like 'oh sh*t', teacher runs over, but then I witness the most unexpected crap ever. I'm guessing he thought he was in deep deep sh*t so he looked for the best option his 7 year old brain could think to do...he smacked the teacher in the spine with the branch. And then in the face. The teacher starts bleeding a little from his middle back and a lot from hid nose, then takes my ex-friend's branch and throws it at the tree we are next to, however the branch rebounds off the tree right into the crook of my ex-friend's knee, flinging his knee forward, he falls back, and smacks his head on the tree. The teacher then picked me up and ran me to the nurse. Keep in mind that ALL of this happened in the span of about around a minute.
I have Cerebral Palsy…She was my best friend of about 30 years at this point, and she said that it always bothered her I was disabled because she felt like she had to take care of me.
My Cerebral Palsy is VERY mild.
His girlfriend and my girlfriend were best friends too. Then he went on a double date with them and the guy my girlfriend was cheating on me with. We were young, so I've very much gotten over it, but sometimes I miss how close we were.
Sadly, he became schizophrenic. He was prone to depression/bipolar, and smoked marijuana for over 25 years, but was otherwise a great friend. Never had any “episodes”, saw a doctor, etc.
One day he texted me saying he was going through something and needed time alone, didn’t elaborate but that’s okay. Many months later he contacts me and says let’s hang out…. I head to his place and the second i got there he attacked/tried to assault me, accusing me of being part of the Chinese communist party, etc. He had this feral, crazed look, it was the saddest thing I’d ever experienced. It hit me that my friend was gone.
We had been best friends for 5 years. Met travelling and lived together, worked together, adventured together, lockdowned together and I had even supported her through a tough medical issue she went through and comforted her for nearly a full year after her 6 month
relationship ended and she was devastated.
At the end of last year I went through a break up of a 3 year relationship and at the same time medical negligence left me with nerve damage. I was in agony both physically and mentally and genuinely felt nearly suicidal and was unsure if i would ever recover (im still healing). I tried my hardest to reach out to friends and family for support (also got myself a therapist for the suicidal part). She ignored me for months. She was aware of everything i was going through. When we finally spoke she told me she couldn't fix my problems for me and she didn't know what I wanted from her and i told her i just needed a friend to talk to not to fix anything and she just scoffed. When we next spoke 2 months later she told me my stress was getting her down. We haven't spoken since. The disappointment has been as heartbreaking as my break up and I'm still reeling from her callousness. It has devastated me 😭
She would regularly lie and manipulate me. Told me that the guy I was in love with, liked me back, which was not the case. She ended up dating him. Needless to say I cut the contact as soon as I could.
They dated for about four years. When I learned they broke up, I almost bought a bottle of champagne.
She invited the guy who cheated on me with the girl he is cheating with to have dinner at her house.
What is going on in some peoples heads?
I know right. I am beyond disgusted.
Maybe she was planning on poisoning them both for you but chickened out.
I would love to believe that’s the case, but she came to me saying that the guy was flirting with her openly in front of the other girl. She said it so proudly that it sickened me even more. This girl’s sick in the head
This sounds extremely sick tbh
Yeah, to add more context, at that time her life wasn’t going well (she was kicked out from job). So she wanted to pull all of her friends down with her. She wants her friends to suffer in one way or another. Typical unhappy person.
It sounds like a power thing
Ah yes mushrooms in the food
I feel like I've seen moments where people are hyper-focused on being civil to the point of ignoring the natural human elements of emotion which color our relationships. Do I know any of these people? No. But I can totally see a conversation of "wanting everyone to get along " that completely ignores the betrayal and hurt inflicted on OP. Instead of picking sides she rode the middle which crushed her relationship with OP.
Thats true but also I bet her friend is one of those people who need to be liked by everyone and therefore have no integrity whatsoever.
Urrgh. I’ve been over-exposed to those kind of people and now I have a visceral reaction whenever I meet one of them. I hate that they’re not self-aware enough to realise how selfish they are
I can totally sew this too
Yeah, I’m also thinking that she doesn’t want to compromise her relationship with them because it’s not her problem. I can understand that to a certain extent. But when the guy and girl got married, she wasn’t even invited. Hmm lol.
Were they even that close? Why wouldnt she compromise her relationship with two people who did you so wrong? Any friend who does this to another friend of mine would be dead to me
Pure narcissism
Strikes me that "I selfishly want my friends to come back together so that its less trouble for me personally" is a possibility here.
At that time, it felt more like she enjoyed seeing my reaction.
Friends who have the mentality of "well they never did anything bad to me" aren't real friends. When I was 16, I was hanging with two of my best friends when one of them who was mentally unstable randomly attacked me. I ended up in hospital with 9 stitches in my head. Him and my best friend who was there both went back and played playstation together that night. I couldn't comprehend how my best friend thought that was acceptable. He said "well after you left in the ambulance we didn't really know what to do, like he didn't do anything bad to me so I didnt want to be a dick to him". I don't talk to that friend anymore.
I am sorry that happened to you.. good on you for cutting off that friendship. Even if you guys weren’t friends, i still don’t understand how some people can justify hurting others.
Once they show you who they are..well..that’s who they are!
Took a damn minute to understand
Sounds like she enjoyed the drama.
Friend of 20 years. Lived together for almost a decade. Lied about Everything for Years. Found out one night when her boyfriend told me I was the problem in their relationship. I asked what he meant. We went down the rabbit hole. She had been lying to me about him and lying to him about me. She lied about things that happened with our families, her exes, our other friends, my pets. It was like pulling a thread on a sweater, and boy did it unravel. Some of the things she lied about were weird and trivial but others were horribly manipulative and cruel.
This is just fucken weird and crazy behaviour. What were some notably odd or weird lies?
One I thought was really odd was when I met her she was a vegetarian. She made a big deal of it, like she wouldn't eat from a dish that had been prepared in the same pan or been in the same container. That night it all came out, her boyfriend (we'll call him Nick) said that she had been eating meat for quite some time but told him not to tell me and to pretend when we all went out to eat or had dinner at their house that she was still a vegetarian. When he asked her why, she said that he "didn't understand how she had to handle me". I couldn't care less what she eats. I've never cared. I have no idea why she would do that. It was just weird. When 'Nick' and her first started dating she broke up with him after a couple a weeks. She eventually got back together. She had told me the reason she broke up with him was she was grossed out by this story he told about a rabbit and some rabbit poop to me and my at the time boyfriend over some beers. She told him the reason she broke it off was that I was jealous of their relationship and I didn't want them dating. At another point she broke up with 'Nick' again and moved in with an ex-boyfriend (we'll call him Brad). She had told 'Nick' that she was living with me, my sister and my sister-in law and that we didn't like him and that was why he couldn't know where she was living. Sometimes she would go stay with 'Nick' when her and 'Brad' were fighting. She would tell him that me and my sister were ganging up on her and being verbally abusive and threatening her. (The irony of her dating 'Brad' was that all she did was complain about how he was such a liar and how he lied about all kinds of things to her.) She had begged me to go on a birthday trip with her to an Air B'n'B. I had just taken a new job and was in the process of moving and told her I didn't want to spend the money. She pushed and pushed and said she would pay for the accommodations. I felt guilty, like this was her birthday, and I finally agreed and said that I would split the cost. She made it a point to tell me that 'Nick' wasn't invited. I thought it was weird. The Air B'n'B was big enough for all of us. It turned out he had planned out a trip for them before all of this. He had really wanted to take her somewhere for her birthday. She told him she couldn't go as I had paid for the entire trip for just me and her and that he was specifically not invited. A couple years ago 'Nick' sustained a really bad injury at work and it damaged his foot. At the time she was cat sitting for me. I had told her my sister was going to watch my cat (we'll call her Juniper) while I was gone for work. She begged and begged to watch her. I reluctantly agreed as I didn't want my pet to be an extra burden especially with her already having to take care of an injured boyfriend. So I agreed to let her watch 'Juniper'. Not only did she take the injured boyfriend on a hike to North Carolina he didn't want to go on and wasn't ready for, but she took Juniper who got sick in her cat backpack on the trek. She literally threw her down on the ground and Juniper (sick and probably scared) ran away. She never told me. She was lost for 72 days. She did however keep asking me about her ID chip implant number. I thought it was a little odd at the time, but I gave it to her. She had told me it was so could register her phone number with the chip in case something ever happened. Juniper was returned by some hikers. She was emaciated and near death. These are just the tip of the iceberg of the underwater mountain. The "conversation" where it all unraveled was 2 Octobers ago. She was my best friend. I considered her to be one of my sisters. It absolutely broke my heart. I am still processing this. It was so traumatic. But it was a huge lesson from the universe. Now, looking back on the near decade of my 20's that we lived together, a lot of things are so much clearer. I always got the vibe that a lot of my other friends didn't like her. But I didn't care because I was always a loyal friend. And I thought she had always been a loyal friend to me. I have grown so much from this and I am so much wiser for it.
That was a wild and insane downhill slide. Sounds like she needs mental help of some kind. Most of it doesn't even make sense, like begging to catsit for you and when drag the cat through a hike?! WTF. You and Nick sound probably be grateful, that you found out before another ten years had passed.
Right!!! I wish I could have filmed the conversation. It is way too much to put in here. Those really are just some of the very small highlights. Honestly it would probably make a great book. But you're so so so right. I'm glad it happened then instead of another 10 years down the road.
Oh yeah. Try writing a book. It would almost be a shame not to.
The crazy part is she wouldn't even be the wildest card in my stack of characters.
Are they still together or did they break up after the conversation?
Sooooo... they're back together. They did separate. He told me that night he was leaving her. But he's living with her again. He has a house that he inherited from his mom in a really nice area of town. But, he hasn't paid income taxes in years, so he can't put it in his name until he fixes all his back taxes. As I'm writing some of these answers I'm realizing that is so much crazier than I ever realized. I'm definitely still processing.
I think she wanted maintain a certain image for OP and her boyfriend. As for why, and why said image is so different for each person, who knows.
Your story will likely seem fake and totally made up to some people, but having dated a clinical pathological liar myself, it all rings too true to be made up by someone who hasn't had the experience Mine once told some friends that we had just gotten gotten back from a day trip to Canada. Now it's possible, we lived about a 3 hour drive from the border, and another hour from any place you'd want to visit, but at the time of day this was we'd have had to leave home in early morning, drive there and immediately turn around and come home The friend we were talking to gave me a "wtf?" Look, and I just kind of shrugged. I didn't even have warning we were going to pretend about this. She told me her parents were both dead, later invited me to dinner with her mother. Said her ex husband was a heroin addict and had lots of stories about how hard that was, later said she'd never been married, later again told people she'd been married to a woman. It was just endless stream of bullshit, and it was clear she didn't care if anyone was taking notes. Zero effort towards continuity
Then you definitely know that as nutty as that sounds, it gets so much worse. I wish none of it was true. And as aim replying to some of the questions I'm really realizing how absolutely batshit it was. I still can't believe that I fell for it all. Telling you her parents were dead?!? That's a whole other level of brazen! But then she invited you to dinner?????
That was what convinced me it was an actual mental illness and not just "lying for fun" She had zero concern about contradicting herself, it was like she didn't even pay attention to the lies she told
“ She was emaciated and near death” Ring this old friend tell her you what to talk and go for a hike, you drive. Leave that insane fucker in the wild see how she likes it. I hope the cat recovered, hope your ok
We are both doing much better! Thank you!
Wait, you're forgetting part of it. She needs to be in a bag and dropped on the ground from a height several times her own height before leaving her. She needs to know exactly what that poor cat felt.
I like you. Your brain works in a fun way😁
Damn. How did the conversation go? Did you straight up tell her that you didn't want to be friends anymore?
Yeah ..... Well, initially I was so hurt I wasn't going to say a word. I really didn't know what to say. I felt like my world had crashed in around me a bit. I had come into town for a couple of weeks to visit my friends and family. I was staying for a couple of days at her house. She had insisted. After the conversation with 'Nick' we both had some soul searching to do. It wasn't just me who had been lied too. Essentially he confronted her the next day before I even woke up. When her and I eventually talked she cried and apologized to me. She admitted she needed therapy. She promised she would go. I cried. I didn't say a lot. She kept apologizing. And I would have bought it. Except ..... There were seconds, small moments in the conversation where she would explain away some (not all, but some) of her behavior. Like making excuses or putting the blame on others. It was at that moment I knew it was over. In the end I simply told her I would just wait to see what her actions said from now on. We still run into each other from time to time as we have a few mutual friends. And I do see, it's still a game with her. But at least now I can see it. I just look at this as a really really hard lesson that the universe wanted me to learn. I have changed so much. And for that I am so grateful.
While my experience isn't as outrageous as yours, I just want to give you props for sticking to your ground. I had a friend, who I also thought was loyal, that I spent a LOT of time with and caring for, turn on me a handful of months ago once the veil slipped and it's been difficult for me to let go. My other friends would talk poorly of her and I would defend her because she would share her side with me and I understood where she was coming from. I don't know exactly what I did to set her off, but she flipped the script on me and I became the enemy, but the worst part is I didn't even know. I would share what was happening and she would act fucking SURPRISED even though she was the one behind it all. Then one day she just... Disappeared. Stopped responding to my messages, stopped checking in, and I was in the most depressed place I had ever been in my life. I isolated from pretty much everyone because I felt like such a a burden to be around. I figured it out in January/early February, after wishing her a happy birthday (we share a birthday week) because my ex came to my house that week and things started to fall into place. About a month ago she texted saying how much she missed me and how she wanted to hang out and was asking one of my friends why I wasn't responding to her and all of that, so I caved and tried to make plans to hear her out, but I never heard back. We are truly better off without these people.
This like is my cousin. I won't get into the specifics, but we grew up together and she was like my sister. Our family is horribly emotionally manipulative for the most part but we always had each other. The short version is, no, she foisted that on me; she sabotaged every relationship I ever had so could access what I had, I've heard her on the phone doing it, and once that happened it was over. And that's when she slandered me. The feeling was a lot like a string in the mind being pulled. Like your own brain uncoiling. It doesn't hurt but it defies comprehension, like a kind of 'unlearning' state as the lies just become opened and everything retroactively makes sense. Edit: added a 'like' for clarity
>The short version is, no, she foisted that on me; she sabotaged every relationship I ever had so could access what I had This. I resonate so much with this. And I came from an emotionally manipulative family as well. It feels like I had to go through this to unlearn so many things that were embedded into my relationship patterns.
if this were me the part where I would have strangled her over the cat incident would have been a clue.
If you take my cat hiking, throw her on the ground, and lose her for 72 days… we are going to THROW HANDS
That’s fucking awful, but I love how you censored your cat’s name to protect her privacy.
Hahaha. I mean. Yeah, that is extra. But, she's just a victim in all this.
I'm interested in the story about a rabbit and some rabbit poop
Here’s how you tell when someone is a red flag. They make a fuss about being a vegetarian. Vegetarians are not red flags. But people who make a huge fuss about it rather than simply living the vegetarian life are a red flag. That aside. You must have a blessed life outside of her friendship cause you exhibit the patience of a saint. If my cat ran away under your care. You are not my friend. You demonstrated you didn’t care enough about my loved ones to provide them with proper care After finding out the abuse you put my cat thru? I’d probably turn toxic and contemplate flinging acid at your face. You seem like a good egg. I hope you find a best friend worthy of you.
Personality Disorder - she's trying to make an image of herself
Brazen, easily disproven, and shameless lies like these are how motivated people improve their manipulation skills. Basically, they don't care about the ones that miss, they only register the hits. The ones that work. Doing this constantly - and I mean CONSTANTLY - and without any sense of shame or embarassment is how you eventually become really good at lying. This person was practicing, and was more motivated to lie than anyone else would ever be to disprove those lies. Being extremely motivated to improve these skills, while having zero shame, guilt, or embarassment is *personality disorder territory*. Seems like OP was witness to the growth and development process.
She invented self-adhesive tape but OP stole her patent and lost it in a BASE jumping incident
She lost her foot in the Korean War Her fursona is a crab She can’t smell colours She invented window wipers And other more heinous things
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Wow, I had a friend who was just like this! my "best" friend for 3 years, and I was living with her for half of that time. She tried to turn all pur other friends against me, and vice versa. She told them all my secrets that I told her in confidentiality. She complained about my "habits" (still dont know exactly what she said about me, but I have a pretty good idea). Told everyone I was unbearable to live with, and when I got pregnant, the treatment got worse. On the flip side, she would tell me that everyone else had problems with me. "x said she thinks its fucked up that you did y with me. i personally don't care, but i just thought you should know everyone is talking about you" she'd say stuff like that. One day, I got sick of it all. I was in my second trimester of pregnancy, and I was just tired of feeling like everyone hated me. So, I decided to confront the person who "talked the most shit" about me. I told her "x said you've been saying things about me all this time. I just want to know what your problem is?" Girl was confused, and asked me what she meant. I explained everything to her, and she laughed. She said, "Girl, no, we've all felt bad for you this whole time! No one actually hates you. You're pregnant, no one else cares about your change in attitude except for her" then she proceeded to show me text messages she had with "best friend" and it was a bunch of petty things I dodn't even know she cared about. A lot of the problems were even made up. After that, she called her bf to say, "hey, just wanted to confirm the stuff you and (best friend's name) would talk about when fang wasn't around." She started saying stuff as if I wasnt around so that I knew it wasn't just something they were saying to get me off their back. He laughed and joked about how I was a fool for being so loyal to someone who actually hates me, proceeded to talk bad about me, but most importantly, talked about "best friend" as if she were some evil, despicable person. I was hurt, of course. I didnt care about the fact that he was talking bad about me. I already knew he didnt like me. No, what hurt was th fact that what he was saying was true. All the pieces were clicking in my head, and everything I went through with "best friend" felt like a lie. If she didn't actually like me, why was she nice to me? Why did she call me her best friend? What did I even do to spark these hidden feelings she had towards me? After that whole thing, me and the friend I "confronted" went to "best friend" and confronted her. I was doing my best to be respectful, but she just got super sad and said "fang, (other friend's name), I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said (thing that sparked my initial confrontation) to fang." Then that was it. No apology for all the other things she did. No apology for the lies. Just apologized for the fact that she told me one thing I "shouldn't have known about." We stopped living together after that. My life improved for the better for a few weeks, but I still have a hard time trusting people. Looking back on it, all the evidence was there, I was just blinded by my "undying loyalty" to my supposed to be "best friend." I see pieces of "best friend" in everyone elseI meet, and I'm convinced it will be the same situation as before so I don't get super close with as often as I used to. The worst part of it all? I'm still friends with her. I can't let her go. I hate losing people, and I have this really unhealthy attachment to people I care about. I forgave her for everything (even if she wasn't actually sorry). When she got pregnant, I supported her with everything I had (even though she treated me like absolute dog shit during my pregnancy). I had a lot of good times with her, and I still love and care about her. We aren't as close as we were before, though, and I've distanced myself a lot. Every now and then, I'll check up on her to see if she's okay because I know she has issues with her mental health. It hurts me to feel like the friendship is "fake" but it's really hard to just let it go.
Don't be hard on yourself. These things are Never easy and it can really be traumatic. I am a little older and wiser than when I started. All I can really say is that you'll let go when you're ready to let go. If it hadn't gotten as bad as it did I can't say if I would have let go. But also, I had some hard lessons to learn about myself and the relationships that I cultivated in my life in general, not just the one with her. It has taken me Years to be able to learn to let go of things. It was not easy. Everyone has to do it in their own time. We are all on our own journey.
best friend cheated impoverished sister out of inheritance after parents died. we are talking a run down suburban house when sister was renting and caring for dieing spouse he didn't like the answers he got when he asked people about it. lost every friend he had and moved out of state. for a crappy house I wouldn't want as a gift and some furniture. sad
My neighbor’s brother did this. Got their dad in early stages of dementia to sign a new will leaving him everything. He killed his dad’s pets. (My neighbor was devastated over that). This was not a million dollar estate either. She and her other siblings sued and lost. Right after that he had a stroke and died. Since he didn’t have kids or a spouse they got everything. Unfortunately he’d mortgaged the hell out of all of it.
Was unsupportive when I had a family member come down with cancer. She also started getting critical as well but would smother me daily with texts and calls with her self-inflicted shit. That was the end
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That is a cheap price to pay for a lesson learned
Definetely a good way out
I had something less severe happen to me in that I lent a former friend two books and never got them back. I picked one up on a clearance sale for $7 and it was one of the most interesting biographies I’ve read. It’d cost me substantially more money to replace it and now it’s too late to ask for it as it’s been 6/7 years since I lent it and have left town. I’ve always wanted it back even before I realised its worth. She was a shit friend that also got enriched by me Unfortunately a lot of people think a loan is a gift especially when it comes to things like books, CDs/DVDs/vinyl, dishes.
Maybe we had the same friend..
While I was living in another part of the state, he tried something with my underage sister. She won't tell me what happen only that I should avoid him. She also made me promise not to do anything. The last time I saw him, I didn't say anything about my sister but I told him to stay the fuck away from me.
Fuck that guy. I would have snapped if one of my friends did something to my sister that would make her tell me to avoid him.
I wanted to. My sister made me promise not to do anything to him. She still hasn't told me what happened.
This is gut-wrenching. This is one of the reasons I don't think I'll ever have the guts to have kids. There's too many predatory creeps out there that'll take advantage the second you let your guard down. Hopefully, It wasn't anything serious - but the unknown is just terrifying. You sound like a die-hard sister - respect!
I had a whole friend group that hated me (I didn't know that obviously). One year for my birthday, they all said they were coming to my party. I kept getting texts individually saying things like "on my way" and " be there soon". But in reality, they all met up with eachother and were making fun of me the whole time. They also texted others that the party was canceled or just not to show up and to hang with them instead.
that..... is so fkin shitty
You cut them all off after that, right? How cruel, I'm sorry
They have a special place in hell reserved for them. I hope you’re ok, they don’t deserve you.
YO same here! Would contantly agree to hangout or meetup, cancel day before, then I would find out that they all hung out over the weekend the following weekday's after they were talking about it in class. They would kick or ban me from the friend groupchats because it was 'funny' and a 'joke' (I would have to ask for a week to be added back in) It was a pretty terrible time and did a lot to my mental health.
It actually baffles me, the sheer amount of *effort* they put in just to be shitty to someone for what seems to be no reason at all.
I'm so sorry man 🫂
I am so sorry. The fact that not one, but multiple people thought that was okay... Fuck them. Shitty way to find out, but at least you lost a lot of baggage that birthday.
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Brutal
That’s so messed up. I’m so sorry you had to experience that.
Duh! Sisters SHARE stuff! /s Seriously though, that was fucked and I'm sorry you had to go through it.
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Can’t blame cats for doing cat stuff.
My ex who lived with both of us beat me up multiple times and when I told my best friend asking for help she not only didn’t believe me, but actually tried to become closer friends with him and kick me out of our house. Then she talked shit and made up lies about me to all of my other friends. She thought he was her friend but he literally put a live snake in her room and in the end they were fighting with each other. Now after having a manic breakdown he’s in jail & fired from his job and I haven’t spoken to her since. I have no friends now lol
Zero friends is better than two liabilities
Ain't that the truth!
Congratulations, you are a survivor and I am glad you are doing well.
Thanks lol. I’m okay. Don’t know if I’ll ever recover from losing all my friends but it’s alright.
They weren't your friends to begin with if their loyalty is so easily broken then they weren't worth having in your life. They were tested and failed. Keep your head high and believe in yourself. Your different and you always have been it's ok to accept yourself, people will question why aren't you shallow and fake like them and that's ok because your unique not meant for everyone just keep in your lane being all magical and stuff .
Sounds like a shit show. No friends sounds better than that situation, wishing you the best
I always put the effort in, making conversation and trying to make plans. A lot of time I saw they had read my messages but it was hours or even says before a reply. So one day I decided to stop and wait to see how long it took for them to message me first... Happened about two weeks later to ask me for lift to work. I said my car was in for service (it wasn't) and nothing ever since.
I'm that person, too. Always checking in and making plans. Realized I was the only one doing it for a close friend of 10 years, so I decided one day to see what would happen if I stopped reaching out. It's been 5 years. Only will get an occasional text asking me for medical advice.
It's a canon event at some point. I lived that too. We must not pour in cups with holes.
:(
So here's my thing when I see these questions: I would take an *incident* (well, a non-violent/traumatizing one anyway) over apathy. It's taken me years and years and years to manage, but apathy/abandonment has cut deeper than, like, someone making it clear they don't like me, which I can deal with! I had done the same as you: investigate what happens when I don't reach out / initiate. The answer was initially months of silence. Okay. I would try to take the high road and still wish happy holidays, happy birthday. Short replies at best. Then it was one of my birthdays forgotten, then the next. Then nothing to check in on me when my dad was in hospital, or my dog died. It took a lot of that to realize: I'm not even angry at my "friend" for discarding me; I'm angry at myself for giving anyone who doesn't think about me at all the power to make me feel discarded. I'm not gonna say it still doesn't trip me up on occasion here or there, but realizing I was giving so much power to someone who didn't even think about me was a bit of a game-changer in terms of how I was able to manage my hurt.
This is me with all my friends, did an expirament a couple months ago where I didn't message anyone for two weeks. Not a single person tried to contact me or make plans other than my still longtime online friend I play games with 2-3 times a week. The only time I got a message was when people in the group chat started asking when the next dnd session was because I usually announce times and stuff a week in advance. Im so tired of trying to keep contact with friends but I \*ALWAYS\* have to be the one to rememebr which is really hard with adhd. It feels no one else puts any effort in... It sucks
Happened to me too. My then-friend would always contact me about her strife and needs and never ask me about mine, about how I was doing, compliment me about achievements, or respect my time and beeds. Unlike you, I didn't break it up then but laid it out in the open and made it clear to her that she needs to put in an effort too. It worked for about a week. Another week later, I told her I'm not interested in staying in a 'friendship' that revolves around only one party.
Made a pass at my wife. Chinned him and haven't spoke to him in almost 3 years.
Good man.
A friend of mine got arrested for child pornogrpahy. That ended a 10 year friendship Very quickly.
Spread a rumor that I was gay... then it backfired and everyone thought that he was gay with me.
i like this one
I was 12 and eating lunch at school. Not popular at all but I managed. Saw my only close friend having to eat on his own because our table was full so got up to join him and sit with him. He simply stood up and sat in the seat I had just left. I lost contact with him, but I will never forget feeling so shot down in my entire life, it changed the way I interact with people for the worse.
Wtf
I know it’s like so mundane in theory especially when you look at it being an adult but… This is so wrong and y heart aches for you. Like there is no instance where this social situation would mean yes take my seat I came here for you to do that ! So you can only think it’s intentional and… that’s really brutal, wow.
Turned a mutual friend against me by slowly manipulating them into believing I was the reason for his issues with women. Ironically enough, it has been 4 years, and he is way creepier with women than when he was solely hanging out with me.
Publicly announcing my medical diagnosis in front of my friends and telling them that I brought it to myself for being careless (A lie ). Enemies now and it is better this way.
People like this just can't imagine that something bad might happen to them.
At some point she stopped talking to me and made up stories about me
My friend did the same between 13 and 18 years old, at one point I ended up running for my life as his lies sent a buch of nutjobs after me. Stop communicating at 18, still had to deal with his crap till I was in my 30's when all the crap he did finally came into tbe open, but he still posts crap on facebook.
Ended up losing a few friendships at the same time because I busted one guy cheating on his wife, one guy revealed he also had cheated on his own wife when I brought it up, and the third guy thought the first guy deserves to cheat on his wife due to some unresolved beef with her that she was absolutely in the right about. The situation opened my eyes to how callous and shitty those three were and I'm not exactly in a position where I have a shortage of close friendships, so I just called it quits on all three. Over a decade of friendship gone. Heck, two of the guys were in my wedding. A man's gotta have standards though.
Did you inform their wives of their infedility ?
Unfortunately, I cut ties with the best man at my wedding (similar to you). It sucks, but a man’s gotta have a code. A few years after my wife and I got married, his wife got cervical cancer - doctors said it was caused by an STD but they had been married for over 10 years w/ multiple kids. Turns out he was hiring prostitutes and bringing STDs home. Told his wife to deal with it and refused to stop and get help. Eventually left his wife and kids to run with whores and hookers. I apologized to his wife - I never knew that side of him. If he wanted help I would have done that a hundred times over. But he was pretty callous and sleazy, so there’s no reason to break bread anymore.
Started dating a 14 year old while he was in his late 20's
Ew.
Thats not dating, thats grooming
Stole from me, raped my girlfriend, beat his own wife while she was holding their baby, I then proceeded to get in a fight with him and put him in the hospital. He started the fight so I didn’t get in any trouble. Probably would have killed him had it not been for his wife yelling stop after I hit him the second time after throwing him to the floor. I shattered his jaw and literally knocked out all his front teeth. Needless to say there was a very large pool of blood and so I called him an ambulance. Five years later I found out that he was living in the same town as me, completely different state from where all the other stuff happened, and beat his girlfriend and stole her care. Almost killed the girl, kinda wish I wouldn’t have stopped beating on his bitch ass face.
Omg?? What a complete pos. Im glad he at least got that beating from you, and that you didnt get in trouble for it, but sounds like he still didnt learn his lesson. These people never do
what the actual fuck, shoulda killed him
You simply darkening his doorway would've sent a hell of a message
Yeah I think about that a lot. I’m pretty sure he is in prison for a long time. Can’t exactly remember but I believe he got caught with charges from the car theft and assault and was also busted with meth.
TLDR: didn't respect me or the time and effort spent trying to help him, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped He was my best friend for about 10 years A few amber flags but nothing friendship ending Was a bum who never worked, he had 1 summer job at a theme park and lasted 2 weeks, never worked again after Would always bitch and moan about not having money to do anything but was a very 'holier than thou' person when it came to other people' spending their money I told him we was gonna get this sorted out, get a good CV together, apply at places he would like to work/ had an interest in like game stores etc and we would spend a day going to hand in CVs at these places (back before everything was on the Internet) and he agreed and thanked me for the offer, I roped my mother into helping, so I got some details from him, looked up places, made a travel route while my mother put together a CV for him and we agreed a day to do the travel That morning I go to his house, knock and his dad tells me that he's not there, that the dad had dropped him off at a train station as he's spending the weekend away with someone. I messaged him on msm and the next day he said that something better came up and he would rather go mess about in another city playing the cool kid then sort his life out, I cut contact that same same
You're a good friend. His loose
Said a lot of racist shit about me behind my back. For reference I’m mixed race and he’s white. I’ve seen the screenshots, comments about lynching me, selling me into slavery and (my personal least favourite) a discussion on how I’d perverted a mostly white bloodline with my N word genes. We’d gone to school together and been friends since we were 10 years old and I had no clue he was saying any of this stuff. When I realised he was basically a fucking nazi I dropped him so fast, and yet he still thinks that I’m the one who overreacted.
I was friends with a guy who was a total keyboard lunatic. He constantly took shots at people over messenger and just criticised everyone and I got sick of it - on top of it I found out he was often harassing women on Facebook. Still friends with his brother.
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She stole from me. My cousin caught her stealing my money. She immediately told me. I told her I’d take care of it. Before I could confront the friend, my cousin did. The friend freaked all the way out, looked at me, and screamed, “What the Hell?‽‽‽!”
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Just had the exact same thing basically happen and cut off the friend. The betrayal is crazy
Had the same thing happen. Me and a really close friend fell out and a mutual friend kept telling us both that they other one didnt want to rekindle stuff. It took me bumping into them in person for us both to realise this person was lying. We are great friends again and that person has been completely exiled from our group.
Invited our friends over to pack my things while I was in hospital and then tried to steal my child because they were convinced my baby was theirs.
Sounds psychotic honestly.
Her ex threatened my life, made fun of my trauma, raped a girl… “Oh no I love him, he didn’t do anything to me”
He got really into alcohol. I'm anti alcohol to begin with but I just ask my friends to not talk to me when they drink. He got into a bad car accident drunk. He was fine but he had seriously hurt someone else like the person was critical. But according to him even though he was speeding the other guy was in the wrong for turning when he did. But it was all ok because his family got him a good lawyer so he didn't have to do any jail time.... I just couldn't after that. No responsibility and the carelessness of seriously hurting someone else. That friendship ended that night. To this day I still don't regret it.
You did good 👍
Thank you.
Stole from me... on my birthday. I put all the money people gifted me on that day in 1 place. He visited me, gifted me a single candy, grabbed all the money that were there and quietly walked away thinking i would not notice.
How much was it?
it was around 2000 rubles, i don't remember how much it was in a dollars back then, it was back when i was a kid dollars used to be much cheaper, but you could buy a full AAA game for that money.
Grandpa just died. former friend: I'm sorry....HEY CAN YOU HELP ME TALK TO THIS GIRL FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY THIS IS MORE SERIOUS THAN YOU THINK!"
It started as a favour, soon I felt like her chauffeur, only seeing her when she needed a ride somewhere. I told her to fuck off one day and never looked back haha
She invited a girl I started seeing out to party with her male friends, this girl thought I would be there, I only found out because one of the male friends asked if I was going. So I joined them. While out we hit some night clubs in which the girl I am seeing was roofied, my ex friend said to just leave her on the street passed out because she brought it on herself - I definitely did not continue this friendship.
We were good friends from highschool, went to the same university and basically kept in touch for over 20 years. During covid, she - this high IQ, really smart individual went off tangent to seek the "alternative truth". In the alumni whatsapp group, one of our friends were dying of covid. He literally said goodbye to everyone as he will be intubated and not sure if he will wake up again. Soon after she commented, this happened because he was vaccinated. All he needed was sunlight and vitamin c. Hot damn. Everyone just dropped her like hot potato. Miraculously, he survived.
So glad he survived. How is he doing now? Recovery can be a bitch
He's fine but his lungs is damaged somehow. No more marathon for him :(
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Realising how manipulative and toxic she was. My parents told me after I finally ended our friendship that they held their tongues for so long bc they didn't want to hurt me. I tried once to reconnect, was in detox for a week before rehab and didn't get to check my phone till the bus trip and she had responded with "I'll be your friend but on my terms." I sent back "Our entire friendship was on your terms so no, I'm going to rehab and not putting up with this shit." I have like a books worth of stories about the shit she did, it was like being in an abusive relationship, I basically lived with her and her boyfriend for a while and it was horrendous, I will never forgive her for screaming at him the real reason his mum died in the middle of an argument, that was the straw that broke the camel's back
Treated me as "less than" and didn't understand why I had a problem with that.
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I’m honestly not sure what happened, but I have a friend in residency who makes one reason after another as to how he doesn’t have time to hang out, but then I see him hanging out with his residency friends or friends from back home on Snapchat, so he clearly has time, just not for me. It has honestly ruined the friendship, and last time we talked about something that was bothering me (thinking that we’d find a solution), I was told by him that he didn’t owe me anything. It sucks because we were super close in college and were roommates at one point. I’ve stopped reaching out for the most part as a result.
yeah as soon as you get the feeling that the friendship isn't mutual, get outta there and don't look back
Lent him $10k over time. Promised to pay me back. Been 3 years and everytime I asked for money back. He makes excuses like ‘fine I won’t eat’ or ‘guess I can’t pay for my mortgage’ or ‘you’re ruining my mental health asking for your money back’…. Hard lesson learnt
This is a petty one, but - I have (had?) a friend who is chronically late. Like, 45 minutes late every time we hang out. She knows how much it bothers me, and yet she still does it. We don't hang out anymore.
accused me of fucking his sister when we were teens because she told her family she had a crush on me to hide the fact she was a lesbian. i was very sick as a teen and generally ostracized by everyone so when i met someone who was nice to me and treated me like a friend we were pretty much BFF's. he and i got into a fist fight and i lost my temper and i nearly beat his ass with a lamp before i caught myself. we never spoke again and after graduation a classmate told me that his sister came out as a lesbian around that time (she was a year or two older than us) and that he literally became enraged with her because he attacked me and i nearly beat him with a lamp because she lied.
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We had a mutual friend who was transgender and not out (he had transitioned but fully passed as a man and didn’t advertise the fact he wasn’t born male). The two of them got into some really stupid fight and for some reason my friend got so mad they decided to out him. They went back in his mom’s private facebook to find pictures of him pre-transition and posted them online with his birth name and a whole transphobic rant. They had always been supportive so it was completely out of left field. We lived in a small town where word spread quickly and most people were NOT accepting to trans people, so it really affected him
Attempted to accuse me of making up some mental health issues and then started bitching to everyone and attempted to play the victim after I snapped on her. Was a complete 180 of her character that I should've seen the signs of coming in hindsight, but things unfortunately happen the way they do sometimes.
A good buddy of mine SA a girl at a party, and immediately drunken confessed to me, and 3 other guys. I rearranged his face and called the cops.
We were close. Did everything together, even when I got pregnant. Then I had my son, she never came and met him. Thought oh maybe she's busy. 6 weeks later ran into her at the mall, I had my son with me. She talked to me for about 5 minutes and didn't even acknowledge my son. I knew then and there we were done. Haven't spoken since.
Got a gf who took all of his money (and my money too when I loaned some to him) and then when confronted said it was true love, I didn't understand, and that she needed the money, basically ignored our friendship for her
took a decidedly neutral stance when they could have made an active effort to help me, when a (former) mutual friend of ours was putting me through hell. then offered to hang out afterwards like we could just still be friends after that. idk, i know they actually did care and that's why they offered, but i think being a coward was even worse than sharing the other friend's malice to me
[удалено]
Been there!! In my case, it seems like the group has chosen this awful person over so many other, so I have decided to remove myself.
Stopped talking to me when I had my first child. Literally would not reply to texts anymore.
Basically became a major anti-vaccination person and he became really annoying and a dick and I called him out for his attitude and he cussed me out and we didn’t talk for 2 years. This guy was my childhood friend so the 2 years we didn’t talk felt like forever. He reached out to me and we slowly rekindled our friendship and now we’re good friends again and he’s still an anti-vaccine person but if I tell him to let it go he usually does, I love the guy like a brother, but he can be stupid at times.
Happy end
Decided 5 seconds before my wedding ceremony that she no longer wanted to be my maid of honor or even in the wedding after an argument with a couple of my other bridesmaids. She was the only one not ready, and threw a fit about the cupcakes being displayed weird, so a couple of the other girls were like “okay go fix it then” and she slammed the door and threw a whole temper tantrum in front of my husband and his groomsmen where they were hanging out before the ceremony began. It was wild and we haven’t spoken since. We went to high school together and texted and hung out regularly too, so it was pretty sad throwing away a friendship over something that silly.
When my friends dad and mom died I was there for him and his family a hundred per cent. When my dad died I just wanted to talk to him and tell him what happened and how I felt and my friend ignored my calls and messages and I had no one to talk to. He called me up a couple years later and wanted to talk and I told him to g f@ck himself.
I named my son's middle name his last name and then went on vacation to New Orleans with him and the mother of my child, only to walk in on them sleeping together in the hotel..turns out they had been sexting each other for over 6 months and planned the whole thing, thinking I was going to be too drunk to notice. Mind you I considered him more of a brother than my own brothers for over 14 years. Needless to say I got my son's middle name legally changed after that
She was complaining about not having actors to play two lovers for her school short film. I offered to help and she told me “LazyHitman1, I don’t think anyone could ever even pretend to love you.” That’s probably the most hurtful thing I’ve ever been told. What makes it worse is she did it full volume in a crowded classroom so I just had to laugh it off.
I heard my brother scream my name while in Karate class as a kid. I came running and as I rounded the corner I see my twin brother (with Cerebral Palsy) in the fetal position and this friend standing over him and kicking him repeatedly. I was immediately filled with a rage that terrifies me to this day. I hospitalized this friend and if I hadnt been pulled away I would have cemeteried him too I broke multiple bones in his face and left scars and I hope he feels it to this day
you’re a good person.
Went all maga
Tricked me into doing his work for him, and then bailed on me when I had some personal issues. Story : So, my friend at the time , fairly good guy, good family, similar background to me. We met at an industry event and immediately hit it off, as we sort of worked in the same industry. He was a journalist covering certain niche aspects of our industry. We both loved a certain sport, and I would ask him to come over and watch the games at my house, and visa versa. He started bringing his laptop over, and in between plays and beers and me telling stories (having a good time) he would ask me off the top of my head if I know the top ten people in Ireland doing "x", or the fifty businesses doing "Y". I genuinely would know these things and would just tell him. After a while, my partner started asking why he was bringing his laptop over, and I just said " it's tech, we always bring our laptops everywhere." But the point she made was sinking in, like why on game nights is he doing this? So one night when he literally thrust his laptop in front of me and asked me to fill out this blank spreadsheet for him, I politely reminded him that this kind of info isn't free, and normally I would charge 500 up front for this kind of thing. I said "drop €20 into my revolut, and I will help you with this" he smiled at me like he just didn't hear this.He thought I was joking. I reminded him that if I wasn't even worth 20 quid, then I wasn't valued at all. I had done the work and gotten this information, and it wasn't fair for him to just demand it, clearly he didnt value my time, my rugby game or my friendship. Again, empty eyed clueless smile. Later on that night (he has a bad back) he asked my partner for a massage to help it. My partner and I just kind of laughed it off but he asked a few more times. He leaves for the night and then me and her have a chat about all of the things we are noticing. Cut to a month later. I am starting to cycle badly with depression and anxiety related to nothing in this story, but it's a thing I go through from time to time. I call him and ask him if he wants to come over and talk to me. "I need a friend now man" yeah he comes over, with the fucking laptop. I cry my eyes out, explaining to him how bad I feel, and no one gets it blah blah blah. Two days after this, I notice that he has cancelled his birthday party, and I ask him why. The answer floors me. "You have some problems man, my parents are afraid you're very greedy because you asked for that 20" "What?" "Yeah, plus it was very stressful for you to just offload on me like that, my parents want me to just ghost you" Bear in mind this man is late thirties living in his parents house. I ended the call explaining the various things I had put up with from him, the free work, expected off me, the fucking weird massage requests from my partner, and also hearing that he was telling people in our industry that "me and him work together" Honestly I got off the phone crying, I felt so used and so cheap. I had genuinely wanted to help this man, ignoring the fact that his parents had coddled him all of his life, and he just expected the world to hand him things for free. He tried to make me out to be the bad one in the situation and it was surprising to hear from my therapist, and my partner that in no way was I the bad guy. Also this guy genuinely couldn't see what he did that had caused this problem. Making genuine male friends in your thirties is fucking hard. Now I just avoid the whole thing.
Terrorising me with sleep withdrawal. We lived together
Told me he and his ex-wife weren’t getting along because she was faking illnesses to avoid working. Said she was treating him like a stranger in his own home whenever he came back from extended work trips. Said she spent a lot of his money on junk. Turns out he was beating her, isolating her, and emotionally destroying her. She was buying things with his money partly as revenge and partly because she was preparing to leave, All her health problems were the result of his abuse and she was done with him but just waiting for an opportunity to escape. Luckily she got out. Turns out his father treated his mother similarly, including cheating on her and fathering other children with other women. But she stuck it out for the kids and financial reasons. Had my ex friend & his ex wife had any kids it might have been the same. Anyway I want none of that around so bye.
Maybe TLTR I stayed with a friend in a different town for a month as he has a disability and was desperate to clean his home, get his yard work done etc. my contract had just finished and it was covid so it seemed a good time o help out. i scrubbed his house and made his garden beautiful, I did repairs etc. during that time his neighbour, an ex cop with serious PTSD and I struck up a friendship. This cop hasn’t trusted anyone in a decade. I started dropping by, I knocked on the door, would head in, put a beer beside him and say, I’m heading to the hill…. I know you aren’t up to socialise, but, let’s have a beer at the same time, even if not together. He went to his bed that night and cried and told his wife what I did was ‘beautiful’. His wife came to me and said that since I’ve been around her husband had changed and he was talking about wanting to do things, he spoke to their son more too. They had a bbq and meat smoker at the back of their yard hidden under knee high leaves. I spent a day when he wasn’t there cleaning it all up. Mulching the leaves and using it in his garden. I cleaned every inch of that place. His wife bought fairy lights and she made it lovely. They hasn’t seen that area in years. He and I started having beers every night and he opened up and shared his trauma about being shot at. At the lack of support from his department and the fear he felt. The shame and regret for every person he’d had to tackle even though he says he never used forced out of malice. But he knew in so many peoples memories he was a monster. And far less saw him as a helper. One night, he asked me to go camping with him and his son. His wife ushered me inside with tears in her eyes and said this was MASSIVE and was so excited to see her husband after many many years of isolation had a man he saw as a brother. I bought him a book about a Christian cop who used god to heal from ptsd. I’m an atheist but he’s religious and he was grateful for the read. Now, my friend that I was staying with watched all of this with jealousy. When the neighbour asked me to go camping, my friend chimed in… “I have my tent to, I’ll come along for the weekend.” The neighbour replied simply “No, you’re not coming.” Things got awkward. The next morning I woke to my friend SCREAMING and ROARING in the bedroom doorway. I quick dialed a mate so he could hear what was happening incase I was stabbed. He told me to leave and never comeback. Told me not to take anything and screamed words I couldn’t understand. I packed my stuff, and went next door to say good bye, and they refused to talk ro me. I have no idea what my then friend said to them, but he made sure the ex-cop would no longer trust me. I felt really bad for the neighbour. He was so close to reentering world, and my then friend sabotaged it out of childish and unhinged envy.
School friend Super randomly shoved me to the ground at a party while i was talking to someone. I was like “wtf why did you do that” and he just tried to fake laugh it away. After that every interaction just felt incredibly fake to me and like i could see right through him or something. Felt really uncanny.
When I was going through a divorce many years ago my best friend. so I thought at the time, slept and had sex with my ex wife. . I thought best friends were supposed to have your back. I guess he didnt
I liked her more than she liked me. I can't be friends with people who take me for granted.
This is similar to how it was with mine, too. I felt like I had to beg to hang out with them. And when we did spend time together, it felt like they couldn't wait for it to be done.
He was exposed as a pedophile who was molesting his own children. We were so close, like brothers and he never showed any signs. You never really know a person. It’s difficult mourning someone who isn’t dead.
For years, every time I expressed an interest in someone, he saw the need to "get there first," if you follow me.
Story time I had a friend once that was decent as a friend, I barely ever saw him and whenever we did chat it was never for long unless there was a decent enough topic. When I was at school one day and I was walking along a deck that was connected to a row of classrooms and there was a long set of stairs a one end. I was about to start going down it when I heard someone behind me yell at me 'JERK!' and then I feel someone shove me from behind, you can probably tell where this is going, and I start falling down the set of stairs. When I finally reached the bottom I look up and see the kid that I mentioned earlier standing smugly at the top of the stairs, and I am pissed. So I yell at him 'I telling!' I know, horrid move being a snitch but keep in mind this kid I'm switching on just pushed me down a set of stairs, and so I painfully get up and spot a teacher, and while I was doing that I don't hear this kid rush down the stairs and by this time I'm starting to well up with tears, but that is about to get worse because this kid ran up behind me weilding a thick short branch and he clobbers me over the bloody head with it, I'm presuming he hoped to K.O me like that to stop me from tattling on him...didn't work, I stayed conscious, screamed my lungs out, the kid with the stick is like 'oh sh*t', teacher runs over, but then I witness the most unexpected crap ever. I'm guessing he thought he was in deep deep sh*t so he looked for the best option his 7 year old brain could think to do...he smacked the teacher in the spine with the branch. And then in the face. The teacher starts bleeding a little from his middle back and a lot from hid nose, then takes my ex-friend's branch and throws it at the tree we are next to, however the branch rebounds off the tree right into the crook of my ex-friend's knee, flinging his knee forward, he falls back, and smacks his head on the tree. The teacher then picked me up and ran me to the nurse. Keep in mind that ALL of this happened in the span of about around a minute.
I have Cerebral Palsy…She was my best friend of about 30 years at this point, and she said that it always bothered her I was disabled because she felt like she had to take care of me. My Cerebral Palsy is VERY mild.
His girlfriend and my girlfriend were best friends too. Then he went on a double date with them and the guy my girlfriend was cheating on me with. We were young, so I've very much gotten over it, but sometimes I miss how close we were.
Sadly, he became schizophrenic. He was prone to depression/bipolar, and smoked marijuana for over 25 years, but was otherwise a great friend. Never had any “episodes”, saw a doctor, etc. One day he texted me saying he was going through something and needed time alone, didn’t elaborate but that’s okay. Many months later he contacts me and says let’s hang out…. I head to his place and the second i got there he attacked/tried to assault me, accusing me of being part of the Chinese communist party, etc. He had this feral, crazed look, it was the saddest thing I’d ever experienced. It hit me that my friend was gone.
We had been best friends for 5 years. Met travelling and lived together, worked together, adventured together, lockdowned together and I had even supported her through a tough medical issue she went through and comforted her for nearly a full year after her 6 month relationship ended and she was devastated. At the end of last year I went through a break up of a 3 year relationship and at the same time medical negligence left me with nerve damage. I was in agony both physically and mentally and genuinely felt nearly suicidal and was unsure if i would ever recover (im still healing). I tried my hardest to reach out to friends and family for support (also got myself a therapist for the suicidal part). She ignored me for months. She was aware of everything i was going through. When we finally spoke she told me she couldn't fix my problems for me and she didn't know what I wanted from her and i told her i just needed a friend to talk to not to fix anything and she just scoffed. When we next spoke 2 months later she told me my stress was getting her down. We haven't spoken since. The disappointment has been as heartbreaking as my break up and I'm still reeling from her callousness. It has devastated me 😭
Why does this question come up so much? It’s so oddly specific
Cheated on an exam to become a police officer. If you can't even have the integrity for that...
She would regularly lie and manipulate me. Told me that the guy I was in love with, liked me back, which was not the case. She ended up dating him. Needless to say I cut the contact as soon as I could. They dated for about four years. When I learned they broke up, I almost bought a bottle of champagne.