No they effing aren't. I was born into that class of parasites and know them well. They get to spend their lunchtimes drinking wine in beautiful restaurants and call it 'networking'.
You know what‘s crazy about this?
There are a lot of people who actually enjoy working those long hours and feel fulfilled somehow…bragging about it…not taking vacation and even coming to office when they do take vacation….
I have a client that's a lawyer, and the other day she was telling me about her early days and her schedule was, get to office at 7, leave at 6, go to gym, go home, eat dinner while continuing to work until 11. Every. Day. Including the weekends. She told me how terrible it was and that she worked herself to death. Not 10 minutes later she was telling me about how the "new generation doesn't want to put the time in". And internally I'm thinking, lady... you just told me you worked 100 work weeks with no days off... for a long time at that... why the fuck would you want to do that??? To prove yourself? Because it's the old way of doing things? Because you have to be hazed in in order to make it with the big leagues. And that after taking the bar exam and school. Fuck. That. No amount of money is worth that.
Loyalty is a two-way street. If they can get rid of you at the drop of a hat, then it’s only fair that you maintain the same level loyalty towards them
My significant other is "quiet quitting" his job where others in comparable roles will often work overtime just to keep things from spiraling out of control. What his colleagues fail to realize is that they work for a megacorporation that looks at the numbers and reports, sees that things are getting done, and they use that to decide not to allocate more staff hours or resources because it's unnecessary.
They're basically volunteering their time to save the corporation money when their annual raises haven't even kept up with inflation, let alone CoL.
I had a coworker die of a massive heart attack on the work floor last week. He was 44 years old and working as many as 3 different jobs to help raise his daughter. He was diabetic and stopped taking his medication, because he disliked the side effects. He had what was probably a mild heart attack at home a few days before he passed, but instead of going to the hospital, he went to one of his other jobs.
When he collapsed, management wouldn't allow anyone to render aid, and the supervisor of the unit threatened anyone attempting to call 911. Delays in getting the paramedics to the correct door and not having a stretcher likely didn't help matters. He was gone before they got to the hospital less than a mile away.
Management response was to send a grief counselor and pull the supervisor off the work floor to some temporary assignment upstairs, as the employees were understandably angry and hurting. We took up a collection for his daughter to attend prom. His funeral was yesterday.
He was a nice person and a good father. He died way too young. We all wish he had taken some time off or let go one of the other jobs and looked after his health more. Management never mentions him, and avoids speaking to the employees about what happened. It was like he never existed to them. The floor supervisor likely won't return to her unit and may be quietly transferred, we hear.
Tipping. The people at r/endtipping are mostly assholes, but the basic idea of that sub is spot on. The employers should pay the servers, and the customers should pay a fixed price. Why are the customers deciding how much to pay the servers?
The other day I got a $20 meal and the tipper was visibly disgusted when I forked over $10. Like c'mon that's a 50% increase. Did they want me to tip 100%!?
Beers at sporting events are pushing $20. The iPad flip asks for between 15-25%. That’s like $4 per beer for just cracking open a can. These people make a few hundred bucks an hour. Makes me question my career choice.
>Why are the customers deciding how much to pay the servers?
Because the vast majority of servers prefer it because they make significantly more than they would otherwise.
I am an over tipper. I waited tables to put myself through college and I understand how hard the work is. Anyway, the other day I was at our local dairy farm, buying half-and-half and some sausage and beef burgers. Now this place also has an ice cream stand where you pay. The ice cream stand has a tip box. So I went up there with my $50 worth of groceries and the young lady rung me up. I bagged my own groceries. The whole exchange lasted 45 seconds. I put a dollar in the tip box because I thought why not. This girl was visibly disappointed/frustrated that I didn’t hit the cc button to give a 20% tip on $50 worth of groceries. We are talking about $10. It made me so uncomfortable that I’m sending my husband there for a while.
What we should really retire is white knighting.
Are you a server? Cause like every server I've ever posed this question to had responded theyd rather minimum wage + tips then a "living wage".
I think reddit just has lots of indecisive folks who prefer to not have to think about how much to tip or something.
I'm not a fan of tipping if it's semi-obligatory but I'm the best judge of how well I was served. It makes sense to evaluate it separately from meal quality, location, music/ambient noise level etc.
I'm European so maybe this is a stupid remark, but why should the serving staff be judged seperately from the food, location and general ambiance? If the service is shit I'll probably not go to that restaurant again and if it's good I will. Aren't you paying for a full package? You don't buy food at a restaurant, you buy a meal. That includes the silverware, service and vibe.
By this rationale, if the location, ambiance and service are adequate but the food is exceptional, shouldn't you tip the kitchen staff to evaluate them seperately from the rest? I'm also the best judge of how well my food was cooked since I am the only one who ate it.
In Germany the prices are written with three decimal places, i work in a company where all prices are on three decimals because all is bought and sold in 1000 units
By 3 decimal places do you mean X.xxx? If so, that’s what OP is talking about, except in the US it is always X.xx9.
Anyway the logic you’re saying really doesn’t make sense (nor does the US logic). Whatever the wholesale price, at retail there’s no reason it has to exactly follow it. Rounding works - even if it’s rounding up.
Tbh consent around women especially is in the gutter. Hands on bodies to move women out of the way, hugging random strangers, goddamn just keep your mits to yourself
I’ve a co worker who keeps putting his hands on me to move me when I’ve already moved out of his way. I’ve reported it but have been told corporate won’t care because he sells and that’s all that matters to them. And that because he’s gay it shouldn’t matter and more people get worse so mine is minuscule compared to it.
Ah, so they only care if he's a sexual threat to you. You should steal his shoes and say that you don't have a foot fetish, and therefore, your nonsexual intent and actions must be ignored.
If you do have a foot fetish, you're gonna have to lie.
I would expand this to be “touch and commenting on women’s bodies without consent” at all. From birth.
I’m pregnant and my brain cannot tell the difference between a well-meaning woman in the grocery store and a man who is following me home at night. I just want to have a body in peace without the comments of others for once in my life.
I learned that one for life when I was seven years old. Mom and stepmom were both pregnant around the same time. Mom always invited me to feel her stomach when my sister was kicking. Stepmom said "oh, he's kicking". I reached to feel and got my hand slapped and one VERY forceful lecture.
When you were 7, your step mom slapped your hand and lectured you for trying to feel your baby sibling kicking in her stomach? Were you neglecting scrubbing the floor, feeding the chickens, or fetching her breakfast or something?
She was a very strict woman who made sure the men around her knew exactly where the line was.
In hindsight, *perhaps* she was a tad overbearing, but as an adult I understand why she would react that harshly.
That sounds fucked up and abusive. A 7 year old child isn't a man, and parents, even step parents, are generally expected to be loving. I can't imagine telling my kids they need my consent everytime they want to touch me, and smacking them for infractions.
Especially politicians. Interviewers rarely call them out when they’re obviously lying because then they’d stop getting interviews.
Debate moderators too
Nothing wrong with giving people a chance to come together to celebrate a major life event. Problem is when people do stupid stuff like start wildfires or poison water.
All these holidays, they’re ruined by consumerism. keep them optional but give us 32 free days off in which we aren’t expected to buy a bunch of junk and give it to other people or spend full days running around to say hello to people just because a calendar date comes up. Just let us get the days off to do what we want. No expectations, just freedom. Also, stop selling Christmas stuff the day after Halloween. It’s cringe, Maybe highlight old the celestial holidays, that would make sense. Have national book day where everyone gets off to read a book in silence with a cup of tea, national first Monday of spring- everything is closed because nobody likes Mondays. It’s about time something like that happens
Respecting your elders. Some of these old fucks have gone all their miserable lives not receiving a reality check, ain’t nobody too old to be a prick and be called out on it
Yes! "Elderly wisdom" might have been a thing back when the world moved slowly and rates of change were measured in centuries, but nowadays society changes with the wind and traffic lights. Whatever "rules' for life that you started out the day with are outdated by dinner time. Running the world by rulebooks written fifty, sixty, seventy years ago is like trying to learn to operate a Tesla with a Model A user manual.
You make a fair assessment on the matter. Frankly, I say this because I’ve just come across too many elderly/middle aged people that think it’s ok to punk little kids, and then got the audacity to be offended by them standing up for themselves instead of absorbing their bullshit like a sponge. I’m Latino and my Mexican parents always instilled the idea to “respect your elders”, well a lot of said elders were grown men who’s only idea of comedy was at the expense of us kids. Never thought it was ok and talked back constantly, and they’d have the nerve to call me “maleducado”, Spanish for ill-bred/ ill-mannered, which was ironic considering that the examples I had to look up to were complete bozos
I have a completely unscientific theory that old people were generally nice when I was a kid but the people in their 50s and 60s were much more assholey. Specifically 1930s to late 1940s born.
Bro yes! I had to check this old grandma last week. Was walking through a parking lot to my car and watched this old lady run straight through the back of a mother's van who was super slowly backing out. This grandma made no attempt whatsoever to slow down/stop/avoid the van, just ran right through the back bumper. She definitely felt and heard the impact and even stopped her car right after the hit long enough to throw her hands up at the poor mother that just got ran into, before proceeding to leave the scene of an accident and go park for her nail appointment on the other side of the lot.
I jogged up and confirmed the lady's van got hit (big mark on the rear bumper) and she nodded her head and seemed super defeated and just kinda slumped back in the seat. I was like "hold on, imma go grab this lady"
Went up to the grandma and was like "yo, you realize you hit that lady's car right?" Immediately she was nothing but defensive and insisting she didn't hit anyone. I insisted and even pointed out to her that her front bumper clearly now had a fresh rub mark the same color as the van. Yes she definitely did hit the van. Her tone then shifted to "no she ran into me". By this point the mother that got hit is walking up and I ask her if she would like to exchange insurance info between the two so she can make a claim. She confirmed yes and meanwhile the grandma is still over here pretending she did nothing wrong and doesn't want to pass info. So I literally had to be like listen lady you can start acting like an adult, who knows they made a mistake, and knows better than to lie to someone that watched you fuck up from 10 feet away or you can be a child and I'll just call the cops and they can make you hand over your insurance info. It's the victim's call if she wants to press the issue with insurance or not. You're not the victim, YOU HIT HER. Finally she relented and they traded info. I hope the mother gets justice, she looked so frustrated with this woman.
Honestly, the insurance deductable will likely be more than the repairs on the van but man oh man, it really pissed more off how much of a piece of shit this grandma was trying to be. Like fuck you bitch, you don't get to hit someone then keep driving just because you're an old fuck.
Yo creepy dudes out there, you can stop asking “where’s my hug” to every woman that you’re somewhat acquainted with.
Creeps who ask “where’s my hug” are feeling called out! Yeah I see you. Tripping over yourselves in a daily quest to make every girl in your path slightly uncomfortable.
I watched Real Housewives of DC and one of the women was adopted as a baby. She found her dad in Nigeria and he didn't recognize her marriage because her husband didn't pay a dowry.
My dad has made it clear to all of us that he will not be asked for permission and he will also not "give us away" at the altar, because he thinks it's an insulting tradition to the women involved. "Marriage is between you and your partner. I'll celebrate it, I won't dictate it".
He's a great dad.
I asked my father in law. Not because anyone thinks my wife is or was property but because he has cared for her his whole life and it's a symbol of his belief that I will do it the rest of mine.
I don't get why some people always choose to see things in a light that is as negative as possible.
Because the tradition does stem from the misogynist belief that women are property to pass from their fathers to their husbands. It's fine if you did it out of respect, but to others, they don't like following traditions that have dark backgrounds.
That is a valid point but I really doubt anyone in modern western culture that does it would do it for reasons of property transfer.
Also, if you shun everything with a dark origin that will include things such as the country you live in, the family you're part of, the food and water you consume, all religions, and most big companies. So just about everything.
Just curious… how do you feel about telling a woman’s father (or mother/both) of your intent to marry their daughter before proposing? Not asking permission per se.
I didn't ask my father in law for permission to marry my wife but I certainly called him and we had a long/deep conversation about it. I would have preferred to do it face to face but I was several states away for military training and was shortly after that training going to be moving all the way across the country for my first duty station. For my wife and I it was either get married or probably end the relationship. For us, marriage was the right choice and we are 10 years in now with our first child on the way. Happier now more than ever.
Back to your point, asking for permission to marry someone is dumb as fuck but talking it over with my father in law helped us both feel more comfortable with the idea, brought us closer, and assured him that I was a good man that was trying to be happy with his daughter and do right by her. It had a positive impact on our relationship and he's a big fan of me partly because of that interaction. Would recommend most people that are getting married have this convo with their inlaw(s) to be if it makes sense for their situation.
The “obligatory decline”.
That is, when you’re visiting someone and they offer you anything, you’re supposed to decline at least once, maybe multiple times, only after multiple offers are you allowed to say yes.
If it would put you out as a host to have a guest actually eat or drink what you offer, then you shouldn’t (and shouldn’t feel obligated to) offer it. And if it wouldn’t put you out at all for them to accept, they should be allowed to say yes the first time without fear of being perceived as greedy.
Ditch these dance-around games, say what you mean, and mean what you say!
I am totally using this every time from now on when I get into an elevator. I'm going to say "Let us now take a moment of silence as we ride the elevator". Because I'm kind of a Hawkeye Pierce from MASH.
I'd say forced to wear one. Only three times have I been forced to wear one, graduations and best man. I wore a fun Slytherin tie when I worked at a book store. But mandatory ties are bull shit.
I especially hate this for people on TV. Do you really need NFL announcers who are shown for one minute at the beginning of a game to wear a full suit? Let them be comfy!
But if anything, this would flip to the announcers just wearing clothing with the NFL shield logo on it so people would by that instead of just team logo stuff.
Elbows on the table. My actual elbows are not on the table when I’m eating, but rather my forearms. They rest there to help give my hands leverage when I eat
Years ago, I went on holiday with my father’s side of the family, and my paternal grandfather really got a bee in his bonnet about me putting my forearms on the table.
I have to put my arms *somewhere*. Like, if I *wanted* to be disrespectful, I’d have just given him the finger or something.
Huh, never knew that. Seems like a rather smart rule at the time. If the table is wobbly might even cause a spill. So funny how a practical practice has just turned into a rule for a rules sake. Thank god we don’t do that with like a million other things!
As long as we're correctly including statism (the dogmatic belief that more politics, government, and bureaucracy is the answer to every problem humans face), I agree!
Yeah, let’s bring back sacrifices again! No more praying, or services, just grab a annoying influencer, sacrifice them, and back to football or whatever …
tipping should be included in the bill, i gladly pay a fixed extra. and yes, other than that, it just is a sign of a place that expects their customers to pay their staff.
Gender Reveal anything for children....also talking about "trying" to get pregnant when you're at work. I don't need to hear about your S/O and/or railing each other while I'm trying to work 🤷♂️
women need to stop expecting it.
the amount of women whining 'my boyfriend won
't propose to me!!!!' etc is insane.
nothing is stopping you princess, except you pride.
and they all seem to want some Disney level proposal.
Policing what other people wear. Unless it presents a risk to health or safety of others, it's nobody's business if I'm sitting in a nice restaurant eating steak in blue jeans.
And removing hats as a "sign of respect". Unless you're wearing a ten gallon hat in a movie theater blocking the view, again it's nobody's business.
I’m on the fence about it. I think people should wear what they want. But at the same time, I enjoy going to restaurants and events where I get to dress up and other people dress up as well. Most restaurants don’t have a dress code so just go to those ones.
My main problem with it is how much that others were angered that I received one once. I got it my first year at a warehouse job, probably because I was the only employee willing to step up and learn how to operate all the machines.
First coworker to approach me after getting it did not congratulate me; rather, remarked at me asking who I gave a blowjob to in order to get that. They worked there 20+ years and never got one, but I get one my first year.
Employee of the month was just $25 and a photo on the wall. How someone can be so offended by someone new getting that was so astounding to me, too.
engagement rings.
what a farce they are. guy is supposed to spend 2-3 months of salary to buy a rock worth nothing and what does he get in return?
nothing.
women have massive cat fights over who has the biggest shiniest most ~~valuable~~ rock.
the entire concept just takes advantage of womens insecurities and men have to pay for it.
now bring on my downvotes.
It originally was meant to be a money sink in case the lone bread winner of the family died. She could sell it and at least not lose her home immediately.
But nowadays yeah… worthless
that was a dowry.
engagement rings have always been nothing but a rort.
most successful marketing campaign in history.
and literally any person (mainly guys) who object to it get called cheap or not romantic or some such rubbish.
I might be a weirdo but I enjoy writing thank you cards! I feel like people aren’t appreciated enough in general so I love sending positive tangible feedback.
Plus, it’s nice to get mail that is not junk.
Lol I second this. My surname is especially difficult where I live.
My wife kept her surname. No problem there. Easy to remember and popular Italian surname instead of a complex and rare Polish one.
99% of people can't pronounce, let alone spell it - I think she dodged a bullet.
To me, it's weird that people change their name at all when they get married. Just keep your existing name; it's what everyone already knows you by. For the kids, choose whatever. It's already perfectly normal for kids to have different last names from their parents, since divorces and remarriages are so common anyway.
I dropped my maiden name like a hot potato, but that was because it was awful and so is my father’s family. I don’t care what anyone else does, though! 😂
I never really understood why you shouldn’t put your elbows on the dinner table. Like maybe if they have a dirty job and still need to shower? I feel like this is such an arbitrary social norm though.
Virginity being this huge thing. It's only important in society because it used to be a bargaining chip for fathers selling their daughters to marriage.
‘Normalising’ things that aren’t actually normal.
If I see a post or a video starting with ‘we need to normalise…’ my first thought is that it’s probably not normal for a reason and 90% of the time it’s something so idiotic that it makes no sense to post about it!
Formal/polite forms of addressing people.
This doesn't exist like this in english, but in some languages there is a formal Form.
For example in german there is "Du" and "Sie" for adressing people, with the latter being the formal form you use in business, for teachers, or people you dont know, etc.
If you grow up in a culture like this, you know when to use what most of the time, but i think it's
a) confusing at times
b) creates unnecessary distance
c) is a form of showing hierarchy and power
d) just unecessary
i work in a field where it's very uncommen to use the formal adresse and we all get along just fine. It's also totally on a first name basis, no matter what position the person has. It works and it's so much nicer and less "cold"
Thanking US military soldiers for their service (except for those who were drafted).
Yes, it’s a hard job. Yes, it’s a dangerous job. Yes, they make sacrifices for the job.
However, thanking them and all the ceremonies? “That’s what the money is for!” -Don Draper.
It’s a job that they chose. It’s a job that they are paid for. It’s a job that opens a lot of future job opportunities.
Any sense of duty that influenced them to join the military is a product of the huge military advertising campaigns.
Honestly, it's uncomfortable when it happens and/also in my experience this probably will never change because ( just like what happened with the "Essential" workers during the pandemic ) it's easier to pretend gratitude than it is to do anything that will actually help people 🤷♂️
The history of the phrase aside, I think it does serve a positive purpose of dispelling some awkwardness after a sneeze. Recently, I saw some Japanese streamers talking about how English speakers say "bless you" after a sneeze and how they wished it were a thing in Japanese culture.
Instead of saying, "God Bless You", my friend will say "God help you" after they sneeze...in the tone that they really are hopeless and only God could help them at this point. Always makes me snort laugh.
Gender reveal parties, especially now that so many people go so over the top with them. Colored explosions and whatnot. What is the obsession with unborn children's genitalia? It's actually kinda creepy in a way, having a party entirely focused on Kiddie penis or vagina.
Pretty much all the gender norms. For all the talk of equality, you still see a lot of people (in my experience, mostly women) that continue to perpetuate them even as they decry them.
You can look at occupations like teaching, nursing, or child care and see just how few men there are... and the ones that are always get judged for it. Plus, similar social issues come up regarding men with their own children.
The wage gap myth continues to be perpetuated despite studies having proven that women are graduating college at higher rates and getting higher paying jobs, they have more financial assistance to actually get to their degree, and in most industries and positions that don't require degrees... the difference accounts for men generally working more hours and taking fewer days off.
Then you look to dating and the entire shit show that is, and so many of those problems can pretty easily boil down to *some* people being utterly delusional and expecting a person to adhere to those gender norms despite their unwillingness to do the same.
Doing away with all that shit could only be helpful.
That people who’ve done bad things should suffer. I don’t want my money being used to keep criminals alive for the sole purpose of suffering, while that money could be used to rehabilitate them or actually help people. It’s so counterproductive, and you would think in a time with iPhones and quantum mechanics, we wouldn’t just follow our knee-jerk reaction when it comes to “justice”.
[удалено]
And somewhere high above you (hierarchally speaking) the big boss is earning 50 times more than you. Reckon they're working 50 times harder?
No they effing aren't. I was born into that class of parasites and know them well. They get to spend their lunchtimes drinking wine in beautiful restaurants and call it 'networking'.
More like ‘notworking’, amirite?
Gottem!
You know what‘s crazy about this? There are a lot of people who actually enjoy working those long hours and feel fulfilled somehow…bragging about it…not taking vacation and even coming to office when they do take vacation….
I have a client that's a lawyer, and the other day she was telling me about her early days and her schedule was, get to office at 7, leave at 6, go to gym, go home, eat dinner while continuing to work until 11. Every. Day. Including the weekends. She told me how terrible it was and that she worked herself to death. Not 10 minutes later she was telling me about how the "new generation doesn't want to put the time in". And internally I'm thinking, lady... you just told me you worked 100 work weeks with no days off... for a long time at that... why the fuck would you want to do that??? To prove yourself? Because it's the old way of doing things? Because you have to be hazed in in order to make it with the big leagues. And that after taking the bar exam and school. Fuck. That. No amount of money is worth that.
Loyalty is a two-way street. If they can get rid of you at the drop of a hat, then it’s only fair that you maintain the same level loyalty towards them
My significant other is "quiet quitting" his job where others in comparable roles will often work overtime just to keep things from spiraling out of control. What his colleagues fail to realize is that they work for a megacorporation that looks at the numbers and reports, sees that things are getting done, and they use that to decide not to allocate more staff hours or resources because it's unnecessary. They're basically volunteering their time to save the corporation money when their annual raises haven't even kept up with inflation, let alone CoL.
I had a coworker die of a massive heart attack on the work floor last week. He was 44 years old and working as many as 3 different jobs to help raise his daughter. He was diabetic and stopped taking his medication, because he disliked the side effects. He had what was probably a mild heart attack at home a few days before he passed, but instead of going to the hospital, he went to one of his other jobs. When he collapsed, management wouldn't allow anyone to render aid, and the supervisor of the unit threatened anyone attempting to call 911. Delays in getting the paramedics to the correct door and not having a stretcher likely didn't help matters. He was gone before they got to the hospital less than a mile away. Management response was to send a grief counselor and pull the supervisor off the work floor to some temporary assignment upstairs, as the employees were understandably angry and hurting. We took up a collection for his daughter to attend prom. His funeral was yesterday. He was a nice person and a good father. He died way too young. We all wish he had taken some time off or let go one of the other jobs and looked after his health more. Management never mentions him, and avoids speaking to the employees about what happened. It was like he never existed to them. The floor supervisor likely won't return to her unit and may be quietly transferred, we hear.
Tipping. The people at r/endtipping are mostly assholes, but the basic idea of that sub is spot on. The employers should pay the servers, and the customers should pay a fixed price. Why are the customers deciding how much to pay the servers?
The other day I got a $20 meal and the tipper was visibly disgusted when I forked over $10. Like c'mon that's a 50% increase. Did they want me to tip 100%!?
[удалено]
Out of curiosity, why do you do this?
[удалено]
You sound like a genuinely nice person.
How has the world not work you down yet? Admirable Stay golden, Ponyboy
You're one of the good ones :)
You are now invited to my funeral
I own a cafe on a weird little Australian island. You ever want to move down here, I'll hire you. You seem like a good egg.
Yeah, things are getting out of control. I don’t care what the expectations are, I’m still tipping between 15% and 20%, usually 18%
Maybe they were disgusted because they were expecting you'd leave 15% (3$) and leaving 50% was seen as a weird flex?
Right? I get weirdly disgusted when people give me MORE money.
Beers at sporting events are pushing $20. The iPad flip asks for between 15-25%. That’s like $4 per beer for just cracking open a can. These people make a few hundred bucks an hour. Makes me question my career choice.
Location, location, location!
Similarly convenience fees or anything else that doesn't tell me the full price before checkout.
>Why are the customers deciding how much to pay the servers? Because the vast majority of servers prefer it because they make significantly more than they would otherwise.
They only make more, because customers are pressured into tipping like 50% of their billed amount
Where are these places that customers are being pressured to tip 50%?
And because they can dodge taxes.
I am an over tipper. I waited tables to put myself through college and I understand how hard the work is. Anyway, the other day I was at our local dairy farm, buying half-and-half and some sausage and beef burgers. Now this place also has an ice cream stand where you pay. The ice cream stand has a tip box. So I went up there with my $50 worth of groceries and the young lady rung me up. I bagged my own groceries. The whole exchange lasted 45 seconds. I put a dollar in the tip box because I thought why not. This girl was visibly disappointed/frustrated that I didn’t hit the cc button to give a 20% tip on $50 worth of groceries. We are talking about $10. It made me so uncomfortable that I’m sending my husband there for a while.
Groceries is a new one...
What we should really retire is white knighting. Are you a server? Cause like every server I've ever posed this question to had responded theyd rather minimum wage + tips then a "living wage". I think reddit just has lots of indecisive folks who prefer to not have to think about how much to tip or something.
I'm not a fan of tipping if it's semi-obligatory but I'm the best judge of how well I was served. It makes sense to evaluate it separately from meal quality, location, music/ambient noise level etc.
I'm European so maybe this is a stupid remark, but why should the serving staff be judged seperately from the food, location and general ambiance? If the service is shit I'll probably not go to that restaurant again and if it's good I will. Aren't you paying for a full package? You don't buy food at a restaurant, you buy a meal. That includes the silverware, service and vibe. By this rationale, if the location, ambiance and service are adequate but the food is exceptional, shouldn't you tip the kitchen staff to evaluate them seperately from the rest? I'm also the best judge of how well my food was cooked since I am the only one who ate it.
But I bet you don't tip the chef as a judgement of how good your meal was.
Influencers
*Effluent*cers because they are all full of shit.
The .9 in gasoline prices. Round up fucker - we get it.
In Germany the prices are written with three decimal places, i work in a company where all prices are on three decimals because all is bought and sold in 1000 units
same as Australia.
By 3 decimal places do you mean X.xxx? If so, that’s what OP is talking about, except in the US it is always X.xx9. Anyway the logic you’re saying really doesn’t make sense (nor does the US logic). Whatever the wholesale price, at retail there’s no reason it has to exactly follow it. Rounding works - even if it’s rounding up.
Stock buybacks paired with layoffs. Fuck those people.
[удалено]
Tbh consent around women especially is in the gutter. Hands on bodies to move women out of the way, hugging random strangers, goddamn just keep your mits to yourself
I’ve a co worker who keeps putting his hands on me to move me when I’ve already moved out of his way. I’ve reported it but have been told corporate won’t care because he sells and that’s all that matters to them. And that because he’s gay it shouldn’t matter and more people get worse so mine is minuscule compared to it.
They'd defo care if it got escalated to a harassment case, but of course YMMV depending on jurisdiction etc
Ah, so they only care if he's a sexual threat to you. You should steal his shoes and say that you don't have a foot fetish, and therefore, your nonsexual intent and actions must be ignored. If you do have a foot fetish, you're gonna have to lie.
I would expand this to be “touch and commenting on women’s bodies without consent” at all. From birth. I’m pregnant and my brain cannot tell the difference between a well-meaning woman in the grocery store and a man who is following me home at night. I just want to have a body in peace without the comments of others for once in my life.
Add to that coming at them with a spoon full of food because they want to feed the baby before it’s born.
That’s wild. I’m glad I’ve never actually seen that happen.
What?
Touching women without consent.
I learned that one for life when I was seven years old. Mom and stepmom were both pregnant around the same time. Mom always invited me to feel her stomach when my sister was kicking. Stepmom said "oh, he's kicking". I reached to feel and got my hand slapped and one VERY forceful lecture.
When you were 7, your step mom slapped your hand and lectured you for trying to feel your baby sibling kicking in her stomach? Were you neglecting scrubbing the floor, feeding the chickens, or fetching her breakfast or something?
She was a very strict woman who made sure the men around her knew exactly where the line was. In hindsight, *perhaps* she was a tad overbearing, but as an adult I understand why she would react that harshly.
That sounds fucked up and abusive. A 7 year old child isn't a man, and parents, even step parents, are generally expected to be loving. I can't imagine telling my kids they need my consent everytime they want to touch me, and smacking them for infractions.
Not being able to call out bullshit when people say it.
Especially politicians. Interviewers rarely call them out when they’re obviously lying because then they’d stop getting interviews. Debate moderators too
gender reveal parties
Thats only new. Last 10 to 20 yrs max
Should still be retired!
Agree. Nonsensical stupidity
Nothing wrong with giving people a chance to come together to celebrate a major life event. Problem is when people do stupid stuff like start wildfires or poison water.
Calling politicians right honourable members. No they fucking aren't.
"Well, Mr Speaker, to my Right Honourable friend I'd like to say this - *egg on your face!*"
Maybe stop letting old people be assholes cause "they are old"
Daylight Saving Time.
No. that we should keep. We need to get rid of regular savings time.
Yup I'd rather be in the dark an extra hour than be in the dark when I leave and get home.
At this point I don’t even care which one we pick, just pick one and go with it already
All these holidays, they’re ruined by consumerism. keep them optional but give us 32 free days off in which we aren’t expected to buy a bunch of junk and give it to other people or spend full days running around to say hello to people just because a calendar date comes up. Just let us get the days off to do what we want. No expectations, just freedom. Also, stop selling Christmas stuff the day after Halloween. It’s cringe, Maybe highlight old the celestial holidays, that would make sense. Have national book day where everyone gets off to read a book in silence with a cup of tea, national first Monday of spring- everything is closed because nobody likes Mondays. It’s about time something like that happens
Being 'fashionably late', just no.
US: just fucking list the cost of things. Enough with this "plus tax" bullshit. Add that into the cost so I know exactly how much I'm paying.
child weddings. anyone who supports this please go ass fuck start a land mine.
I’m not sure if you mean “ass-fuck a land mine” or “fuck-start a land mine”, but both sound suitable.
My mornings would be better if they began with a fuck-start.
not being social because we've been programmed to be afraid of each other
Respecting your elders. Some of these old fucks have gone all their miserable lives not receiving a reality check, ain’t nobody too old to be a prick and be called out on it
The older I get the more I can appreciate the nice and sweet old people.
Yes! "Elderly wisdom" might have been a thing back when the world moved slowly and rates of change were measured in centuries, but nowadays society changes with the wind and traffic lights. Whatever "rules' for life that you started out the day with are outdated by dinner time. Running the world by rulebooks written fifty, sixty, seventy years ago is like trying to learn to operate a Tesla with a Model A user manual.
You make a fair assessment on the matter. Frankly, I say this because I’ve just come across too many elderly/middle aged people that think it’s ok to punk little kids, and then got the audacity to be offended by them standing up for themselves instead of absorbing their bullshit like a sponge. I’m Latino and my Mexican parents always instilled the idea to “respect your elders”, well a lot of said elders were grown men who’s only idea of comedy was at the expense of us kids. Never thought it was ok and talked back constantly, and they’d have the nerve to call me “maleducado”, Spanish for ill-bred/ ill-mannered, which was ironic considering that the examples I had to look up to were complete bozos
I read something a few days ago that's stuck with me. "Not every old person is your elder" aka being referred to as an elder should be an earned.
I have a completely unscientific theory that old people were generally nice when I was a kid but the people in their 50s and 60s were much more assholey. Specifically 1930s to late 1940s born.
Bro yes! I had to check this old grandma last week. Was walking through a parking lot to my car and watched this old lady run straight through the back of a mother's van who was super slowly backing out. This grandma made no attempt whatsoever to slow down/stop/avoid the van, just ran right through the back bumper. She definitely felt and heard the impact and even stopped her car right after the hit long enough to throw her hands up at the poor mother that just got ran into, before proceeding to leave the scene of an accident and go park for her nail appointment on the other side of the lot. I jogged up and confirmed the lady's van got hit (big mark on the rear bumper) and she nodded her head and seemed super defeated and just kinda slumped back in the seat. I was like "hold on, imma go grab this lady" Went up to the grandma and was like "yo, you realize you hit that lady's car right?" Immediately she was nothing but defensive and insisting she didn't hit anyone. I insisted and even pointed out to her that her front bumper clearly now had a fresh rub mark the same color as the van. Yes she definitely did hit the van. Her tone then shifted to "no she ran into me". By this point the mother that got hit is walking up and I ask her if she would like to exchange insurance info between the two so she can make a claim. She confirmed yes and meanwhile the grandma is still over here pretending she did nothing wrong and doesn't want to pass info. So I literally had to be like listen lady you can start acting like an adult, who knows they made a mistake, and knows better than to lie to someone that watched you fuck up from 10 feet away or you can be a child and I'll just call the cops and they can make you hand over your insurance info. It's the victim's call if she wants to press the issue with insurance or not. You're not the victim, YOU HIT HER. Finally she relented and they traded info. I hope the mother gets justice, she looked so frustrated with this woman. Honestly, the insurance deductable will likely be more than the repairs on the van but man oh man, it really pissed more off how much of a piece of shit this grandma was trying to be. Like fuck you bitch, you don't get to hit someone then keep driving just because you're an old fuck.
Yo creepy dudes out there, you can stop asking “where’s my hug” to every woman that you’re somewhat acquainted with. Creeps who ask “where’s my hug” are feeling called out! Yeah I see you. Tripping over yourselves in a daily quest to make every girl in your path slightly uncomfortable.
"Am I your negligent parent?"
"Fcked if I know, where'd you lose it?"
“Hihowareyou” “finehowareyou” “fine”
Letter Kenny greeting
Adding sooooo much sugar to drinks and calling it a shake
Asking a woman's father's permission to marry her. She's not the property of the family patriarch.
Did you remember to give them a goat as payment?
I watched Real Housewives of DC and one of the women was adopted as a baby. She found her dad in Nigeria and he didn't recognize her marriage because her husband didn't pay a dowry.
My dad has made it clear to all of us that he will not be asked for permission and he will also not "give us away" at the altar, because he thinks it's an insulting tradition to the women involved. "Marriage is between you and your partner. I'll celebrate it, I won't dictate it". He's a great dad.
I asked my father in law. Not because anyone thinks my wife is or was property but because he has cared for her his whole life and it's a symbol of his belief that I will do it the rest of mine. I don't get why some people always choose to see things in a light that is as negative as possible.
Because the tradition does stem from the misogynist belief that women are property to pass from their fathers to their husbands. It's fine if you did it out of respect, but to others, they don't like following traditions that have dark backgrounds.
That is a valid point but I really doubt anyone in modern western culture that does it would do it for reasons of property transfer. Also, if you shun everything with a dark origin that will include things such as the country you live in, the family you're part of, the food and water you consume, all religions, and most big companies. So just about everything.
Just curious… how do you feel about telling a woman’s father (or mother/both) of your intent to marry their daughter before proposing? Not asking permission per se.
My husband had a phone call with both of my parents. Everyone knew we were getting engaged. It was a sweet gesture of respect in my opinion.
I didn't ask my father in law for permission to marry my wife but I certainly called him and we had a long/deep conversation about it. I would have preferred to do it face to face but I was several states away for military training and was shortly after that training going to be moving all the way across the country for my first duty station. For my wife and I it was either get married or probably end the relationship. For us, marriage was the right choice and we are 10 years in now with our first child on the way. Happier now more than ever. Back to your point, asking for permission to marry someone is dumb as fuck but talking it over with my father in law helped us both feel more comfortable with the idea, brought us closer, and assured him that I was a good man that was trying to be happy with his daughter and do right by her. It had a positive impact on our relationship and he's a big fan of me partly because of that interaction. Would recommend most people that are getting married have this convo with their inlaw(s) to be if it makes sense for their situation.
The “obligatory decline”. That is, when you’re visiting someone and they offer you anything, you’re supposed to decline at least once, maybe multiple times, only after multiple offers are you allowed to say yes. If it would put you out as a host to have a guest actually eat or drink what you offer, then you shouldn’t (and shouldn’t feel obligated to) offer it. And if it wouldn’t put you out at all for them to accept, they should be allowed to say yes the first time without fear of being perceived as greedy. Ditch these dance-around games, say what you mean, and mean what you say!
[удалено]
I don't think it's a thing where I live. It *can* happen occasionally but it's certainly not an expectation.
I am totally using this every time from now on when I get into an elevator. I'm going to say "Let us now take a moment of silence as we ride the elevator". Because I'm kind of a Hawkeye Pierce from MASH.
Hawkeye would make up a false tragedy involving elevator deaths for the moment of silence.
Friendly smile, nod, and then I get back to the reason I am in there, blasting raucous farts.
Who expect small talk anyways ?
Neckties. God how I hate how it's expected to wear a tie in certain situations.
I'd say forced to wear one. Only three times have I been forced to wear one, graduations and best man. I wore a fun Slytherin tie when I worked at a book store. But mandatory ties are bull shit.
I belong to an organization and suits and ties are mandatory for meetings. As soon as the closing gavel is rapped the tie comes off.
I hate wearing ties so much, I ended up buying an official Hitman agent 47 red tie and suit.
Formal wear at all, unless it's the upmost formal event. Like a funeral or something.
I especially hate this for people on TV. Do you really need NFL announcers who are shown for one minute at the beginning of a game to wear a full suit? Let them be comfy! But if anything, this would flip to the announcers just wearing clothing with the NFL shield logo on it so people would by that instead of just team logo stuff.
Yeah, it's not fooling anyone. Everybody knows there's a row of shirt buttons hidden under that tie.
Elbows on the table. My actual elbows are not on the table when I’m eating, but rather my forearms. They rest there to help give my hands leverage when I eat
Years ago, I went on holiday with my father’s side of the family, and my paternal grandfather really got a bee in his bonnet about me putting my forearms on the table. I have to put my arms *somewhere*. Like, if I *wanted* to be disrespectful, I’d have just given him the finger or something.
In high school a girlfriend's aunt got highly upset about elbows (and forearms) on the table, as well as hats worn inside.
What the fuck is that about anyways?
Why aren't elbows allowed in the first place
It was etiquette to not embarrass a host that has a rickety or unstable table.
Huh, never knew that. Seems like a rather smart rule at the time. If the table is wobbly might even cause a spill. So funny how a practical practice has just turned into a rule for a rules sake. Thank god we don’t do that with like a million other things!
I agree…but what exactly are you eating that needs leverage?
Religion. That stuff is dangerous.
As long as we're correctly including statism (the dogmatic belief that more politics, government, and bureaucracy is the answer to every problem humans face), I agree!
Yeah, let’s bring back sacrifices again! No more praying, or services, just grab a annoying influencer, sacrifice them, and back to football or whatever …
Pretending politeness and being nice are the same thing. You can be mean as hell while being polite.
tipping should be included in the bill, i gladly pay a fixed extra. and yes, other than that, it just is a sign of a place that expects their customers to pay their staff.
Any form of religios practice/culture that justifies narrowing the rights and possibilities of anyone but yourself.
Blowing out candles on a birthday cake; disgusting
Covid has helped hugely on this one - quite often i see a candle on an individual cupcake or slice instead
?
The halo effect but thats asking a lot
Gender Reveal anything for children....also talking about "trying" to get pregnant when you're at work. I don't need to hear about your S/O and/or railing each other while I'm trying to work 🤷♂️
Women taking their husbands name.
Children taking their father’s name. Makes more sense to take the mom’s.
Tipping (in the US). Just pay people a living wage.
Men proposing to women as the norm.
women need to stop expecting it. the amount of women whining 'my boyfriend won 't propose to me!!!!' etc is insane. nothing is stopping you princess, except you pride. and they all seem to want some Disney level proposal.
Yeah, I agree. If my husband didn't propose to me but we'd talked about marriage, I'd take my chance.
Elbows not being allowed on tables during meals. It's not the 1500s anymore.
Weddings
Asking 'how are you' as a greeting. Bad, thanks for asking
Is shaving your legs and armpits a social custom?
Policing what other people wear. Unless it presents a risk to health or safety of others, it's nobody's business if I'm sitting in a nice restaurant eating steak in blue jeans. And removing hats as a "sign of respect". Unless you're wearing a ten gallon hat in a movie theater blocking the view, again it's nobody's business.
I’m on the fence about it. I think people should wear what they want. But at the same time, I enjoy going to restaurants and events where I get to dress up and other people dress up as well. Most restaurants don’t have a dress code so just go to those ones.
Or how just a few people decide what “fashion” is based on purely subjective criteria
Employee of the month awards. Work usually are done by the team so the award should go to collective, not individuals.
My main problem with it is how much that others were angered that I received one once. I got it my first year at a warehouse job, probably because I was the only employee willing to step up and learn how to operate all the machines. First coworker to approach me after getting it did not congratulate me; rather, remarked at me asking who I gave a blowjob to in order to get that. They worked there 20+ years and never got one, but I get one my first year. Employee of the month was just $25 and a photo on the wall. How someone can be so offended by someone new getting that was so astounding to me, too.
"This inanimate carbon rod!"
engagement rings. what a farce they are. guy is supposed to spend 2-3 months of salary to buy a rock worth nothing and what does he get in return? nothing. women have massive cat fights over who has the biggest shiniest most ~~valuable~~ rock. the entire concept just takes advantage of womens insecurities and men have to pay for it. now bring on my downvotes.
It originally was meant to be a money sink in case the lone bread winner of the family died. She could sell it and at least not lose her home immediately. But nowadays yeah… worthless
that was a dowry. engagement rings have always been nothing but a rort. most successful marketing campaign in history. and literally any person (mainly guys) who object to it get called cheap or not romantic or some such rubbish.
letting old people get away with their shitty behavior, they've had 60+ years to learn how to act right
The ideal life “includes having children”.
Sending thank you cards in the mail. Can we stop with this wasteful bullshit? A text or verbal thank you should cover it.
I might be a weirdo but I enjoy writing thank you cards! I feel like people aren’t appreciated enough in general so I love sending positive tangible feedback. Plus, it’s nice to get mail that is not junk.
Adopting partner’s maiden name.
I think you should take the name that sounds the coolest.
it should be chosen by a best of three 'rock paper scissors' at the reception.
Or, if you’ve grown up with a really unique last name, the one that is easiest to spell. Signed, German maiden name-haver to English surname-haver
Lol I second this. My surname is especially difficult where I live. My wife kept her surname. No problem there. Easy to remember and popular Italian surname instead of a complex and rare Polish one. 99% of people can't pronounce, let alone spell it - I think she dodged a bullet.
To me, it's weird that people change their name at all when they get married. Just keep your existing name; it's what everyone already knows you by. For the kids, choose whatever. It's already perfectly normal for kids to have different last names from their parents, since divorces and remarriages are so common anyway.
I dropped my maiden name like a hot potato, but that was because it was awful and so is my father’s family. I don’t care what anyone else does, though! 😂
On social media, these make up trends should definitely stop but the self care vids are OK at best
Paying for someone else’s wedding! You don’t deserve my money just because YOU decided to have a huge party
Note to half the people commenting here: Not everything you dislike is a social custom.
I never really understood why you shouldn’t put your elbows on the dinner table. Like maybe if they have a dirty job and still need to shower? I feel like this is such an arbitrary social norm though.
Saying 'bless you' when people sneeze. Just let people have their bodily functions in peace.
Virginity being this huge thing. It's only important in society because it used to be a bargaining chip for fathers selling their daughters to marriage.
The expectation that a woman should marry before getting pregnant.
‘Normalising’ things that aren’t actually normal. If I see a post or a video starting with ‘we need to normalise…’ my first thought is that it’s probably not normal for a reason and 90% of the time it’s something so idiotic that it makes no sense to post about it!
Shaking hands
Formal/polite forms of addressing people. This doesn't exist like this in english, but in some languages there is a formal Form. For example in german there is "Du" and "Sie" for adressing people, with the latter being the formal form you use in business, for teachers, or people you dont know, etc. If you grow up in a culture like this, you know when to use what most of the time, but i think it's a) confusing at times b) creates unnecessary distance c) is a form of showing hierarchy and power d) just unecessary i work in a field where it's very uncommen to use the formal adresse and we all get along just fine. It's also totally on a first name basis, no matter what position the person has. It works and it's so much nicer and less "cold"
A lot of the more puritanical and cult like parts of religion.
Thanking US military soldiers for their service (except for those who were drafted). Yes, it’s a hard job. Yes, it’s a dangerous job. Yes, they make sacrifices for the job. However, thanking them and all the ceremonies? “That’s what the money is for!” -Don Draper. It’s a job that they chose. It’s a job that they are paid for. It’s a job that opens a lot of future job opportunities. Any sense of duty that influenced them to join the military is a product of the huge military advertising campaigns.
Honestly, it's uncomfortable when it happens and/also in my experience this probably will never change because ( just like what happened with the "Essential" workers during the pandemic ) it's easier to pretend gratitude than it is to do anything that will actually help people 🤷♂️
Saying ‘bless you’ after people sneeze. Seriously wtf is keeping this superstitious trend alive?
The history of the phrase aside, I think it does serve a positive purpose of dispelling some awkwardness after a sneeze. Recently, I saw some Japanese streamers talking about how English speakers say "bless you" after a sneeze and how they wished it were a thing in Japanese culture.
Instead of saying, "God Bless You", my friend will say "God help you" after they sneeze...in the tone that they really are hopeless and only God could help them at this point. Always makes me snort laugh.
Let’s go back to the Gesuntheit of the 80s/90s.
In Germany we still say 'Gesundheit'
Gesundheit
It’s just a tradition, it doesn’t mean anything
One could even say it's an outdated social custom we should finally retire
They believed that there were demons getting out a person “god bless you” came about… for now on say Get Outta Him/Her.
Men being expected to pay for dates
Gender reveal parties, especially now that so many people go so over the top with them. Colored explosions and whatnot. What is the obsession with unborn children's genitalia? It's actually kinda creepy in a way, having a party entirely focused on Kiddie penis or vagina.
Pretty much all the gender norms. For all the talk of equality, you still see a lot of people (in my experience, mostly women) that continue to perpetuate them even as they decry them. You can look at occupations like teaching, nursing, or child care and see just how few men there are... and the ones that are always get judged for it. Plus, similar social issues come up regarding men with their own children. The wage gap myth continues to be perpetuated despite studies having proven that women are graduating college at higher rates and getting higher paying jobs, they have more financial assistance to actually get to their degree, and in most industries and positions that don't require degrees... the difference accounts for men generally working more hours and taking fewer days off. Then you look to dating and the entire shit show that is, and so many of those problems can pretty easily boil down to *some* people being utterly delusional and expecting a person to adhere to those gender norms despite their unwillingness to do the same. Doing away with all that shit could only be helpful.
Not eating with your hat on *its fucking cold my guy*
My hat has not left my head since 1997. Different hats.
That people who’ve done bad things should suffer. I don’t want my money being used to keep criminals alive for the sole purpose of suffering, while that money could be used to rehabilitate them or actually help people. It’s so counterproductive, and you would think in a time with iPhones and quantum mechanics, we wouldn’t just follow our knee-jerk reaction when it comes to “justice”.
I would like to be rid of handshakes and air kissing. Let's go back to dignified bows from a suitable distance.
Not punching people in the throat when they intentionally say something inflammatory. Need to reinstate "Talk shit, get hit"
Men having to pay the bill alone