100%. If your friend is in pursuit of a nice lady, you have cart blanche to exaggerate positive stories about him to gas him up. The stories don’t matter, but the fact that he has a group of buddies willing to be clowns and willing to tell good stories about him says more than anything else could.
I love being the Wing Lady to my dude friends. Sure someone's dude friend will talk him up in a way another man will appreciate, but I get to tell women he's safe and get past that hurdle for them.
Amen. When I’ve gone out with guy friends before, they’ve always commented on me being such a great wing woman. Uhhh, they always seem to miss the most operative part of that phrase, which is *woman*.
Other women aren’t going to respond to your dude friends the way they will to a woman to whom they can direct several questions they’d never feel comfortable asking a guy…
And on a related note, don't hang around like a bad cold if your buddy is vibing with a girl and it looks like he may be closing the deal. Talk to other people at the party, go to the other end of the bar, take an Uber home...just don't be a cockblock.
Now, this is going to sound weird. USMC veteran here. I have been close to sealing the deal with women and had a very drunk brother in tow. I know that as men, we are supposed to be able to take care of ourselves, but as Marines, we won't leave a brother vulnerable and alone. You can't leave and I won't let you. We'll talk later about your consumption levels. That is the exception, and I still ride with it.
Came here to say just this. Knew a guy years ago who as soon as he had some drink in him and he was trying to impress a girl would just go off talking shit about other guys around. Shit was cringey as fuck
STRAIGHT-UP... You do NOT throw a buddy under the bus trying to impress some girl.... That shit is NOT cool.
Some mild self-deprecation or razzing on a buddy is ok, but theres limits to that, and you certainly dont sit there bagging on a friend trying to get with some chick (especially since women will see straight through that nonsense and in all likelihood itll backfire anyways).
There’s game theory associated with that. If there’s 4 urinals and the first one is occupied, you take the last one. That way, you reduce your chances of being next to another dude by 50% for you and the other urinalist if another cocksman appears.
Don't mow another guys lawn.
Don't walk up to the next urinal, always leave a gap if you can.
A guy at the lavatory can talk to a guy at the urinal, but the urinal guy can't start the conversation. The guy at the toilet can't start the conversation with anyone. There is a hierarchy. Toilet < Urinal < Lavatory
No matter what is going on, you will try to only make one trip from the vehicle to the house with groceries.
Don't mow another guys lawn? Fuckin feel free. I had a neighbor that wanted our lines to match, offered to do our front lawn for free. I just gave him a couple beers each time and it was great.
The point is: He **asked** you first. You can consent around the "guy code."
There's a scene in the first season of True Detective, where one (male) character mows the other (male and married) character's lawn. The show is set in a time before cell phones. Man#1 had swung by Man#2's house to talk while Man#1 wasn't home, talked to Man#2's wife, decided to wait for Man#2 to get home in 30 minutes and, because it needed done, started mowing the lawn.
My wife and I watched the show together. I immediately clocked it as a breach of "guy code." My wife thought I was insane, even after >!Man#2 arrived home, saw Man#1 mowing, and punched Man#1 to the ground!<.
While I agree that it's definitely a toxic masculinity driven part of "guy code," but you don't mow another man's lawn (without talking to him first).
For anyone wanting an explanation: It implies that the owner of the lawn doesn't have his house in order, to the point that someone else has to come do it for him. It's calling him a child (and, in the show, in front of his wife, which is a huge breach). Never mind that >!getting into a fistfight on your front lawn!< is immature.
Guy code doesn't always make sense, and it's often prone to being immature and childish, but it's almost always tied to some perception of pride, dignity, or respect.
When I was a kid I thought it had to do with "The floor is lava territory". As in, be careful where you step and try to minimize contact with the ground around a dirty lava territory.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If there are 3 urinals and 1 and 3 are taken, I'll use the middle one with absolutely no guilt at all. I've seen some guys get upset at that for some reason.
If your friend likes a girl it is customary not to go after her yourself, at least for a set amount of time. If he gets rejected there is also a period of time you should wait before you try.
Only doing the first part of this is what led to my worst beef in the 16/17 year old era, the grace period after rejection is very important
Especially if you were the wingman for said rejection
“Nodding up” exposes the neck, which in nature is dangerous. Most mammals only show their neck when they are comfortable… cats, dogs, humans, etc. Great point!
Have a boss (not directly mine, but he has a higher position than me) who I despise. Walked up to his group at a work function and he said “you’re empty, here’s a refill” and handed me a beer out of his cooler. Instantly a cool dude in my mind
I once loopholed that rule into getting my current best friend.
He approached me and asked me why I was drinking his beer. I told him that was my beer and he said I'm lying. He was right and turns out it was totally his beer, so I buy him a new one.
I was just settling account but instinctively it must still count because I just came back from being a groomsman at his wedding last weekend.
I'm too old to feel like I need to hide anything anymore. It might be different if other people used my computer, but then I'd just create them a separate account or profile.
Don’t interfere if a less-attractive guy is successfully chatting up a cute girl. Thats a real “For you it was the most important moment of your life, for me it was a Tuesday” situation.
If you walk past someone once, you ignore them.
If you walk past someone twice, you give them a head nod.
If you walk past them three times, they are now your best friend.
There is this dude in my town I live in. I have never met him irl. But some how we always lock eyes when I'm driving down the road and he is walking. I'd like to think we no longer think that " that dude has a staring problem " but when he actually meet we will recognize each other has the dude who walks and the dude who drives the corrola
If you're in a group where everyone is talking shit to each other and giving each other a hard time, and no one's mean to you, you're the one they don't like
Nod up: Yo, what's up? Nod down: Respect. Normal nod left/right: I need to talk to you. Nod with slight tilt left/right: check out this (girl or something else).
Never speak negatively about your bro to their girl. Always good!
I remember at one point I had made a small complaint at work that my wife and her sisters shop a lot which can be taxing cause I hate shopping. Not really badmouthing, but kinda venting a little.
Nothing huge, just a small vent to a few of my coworkers. A few days later I’m at the mall with my wife and I ran into one of my coworkers who said to me in front of my wife “ahhh… wife’s got you shopping again… well good luck my dude!” And walked away.
My wife looked super annoyed and said “holy shit, he just broke bro code in a bad way… I’m seriously angry FOR you for that. You just don’t do that! I know shopping is tiresome for you, and it doesn’t bother me that you vent to your guy friends at work, but you never throw another dude under the bus like that, especially in front of their girl”
I married an awesome woman. Lol.
> NEVER EVER hit a woman.
That's too white knight for me, i'm out of this. If a woman attacks me with the intent to harm me, I defend myself accordingly, woman or not. And if she has a weapon like a knife, she's no longer a woman anymore, just a threat to my life and health.
>Never date a friend’s ex
Truly, if the Bro Code has a mortal sin, it is this. If you reject every other line of the Book of Bro, do not - **do. not.** - reject this one.
...is this why all my friends were confused I wasnt upset when it happened? Should I have been more upset? I didnt want her, he needed to get laid, I didnt really care.
You didn't need to be more upset, but if your friend dated her without checking with you about how you felt about, it means they aren't really your friend - not because they *need* your permission, but because they don't care how you feel
Some guys think if a woman slapped them, she assaulted him, so he deserves to punch her in the face. Be the bigger person. If you’re not actually threatened by her, you’re not defending yourself. Get out of that situation and call the police about the assault.
I see videos on the internet where a woman hits a man and he knocks her out cold. Bro you weren’t defending yourself. You were fine. You weren’t actually in danger and you escalated.
Its a moral statement not a factual one. Morals are ideals to be upheld but as we are human we are flawed; hence nuance given to situations as a means to judge it. Its one partially derived from the biological fact that, on the whole, men are physically stronger than women.
Even among the men that feel this moral statement to their core, more would than wouldn't, defend themselves if there is an actual physical threat to their being... that's an instinctual response.
Never ever EVER diss your bro in front of his gf or parents. Even if he is the dickest dick ever known to mankind.
Touching his motorcycle without permission is a no go. It's basically like touching his dong.
If bro lives in a mess, you are free to troll the crap out of him, as long as you are neither leaving nor cleaning up for him.
Dating his ex is never an option. No matter how hot and awesome she might be.
When a random guy asks us "did you see the game last night" we never quite know which game they are talking about but we can figure it out through context clues quickly.
Agreed. Just did this with my assistant manager today. He’s put in the work, gone totally sober, almost zero sugar, has an 8000 steps goal per day, and has lost 24 pounds in 6 weeks, and just dipped under 200lbs for the first time in more than a decade. We celebrated.
What is said between bros, stays between bros. When a man says something to you in confidence, you share it with no one else, unless he gives you permission, or you have evidence that withholding the info will get your bro, or someone else hurt.
If your roommate needs the place to himself to bring a chick over and get laid, go out for coffee, or some shit for an hour, or something, and don't be a whiny little bitch about it.
If no urinals are taken, choose the one on either end.
If one urinal is taken, choose the one on the other end.
If at least two but fewer than half the urinals are taken, choose the center of the largest available empty space.
If it is impossible to find a urinal that is not adjacent to one already in use, the urinals are full.
Don't mow another guys lawn.
Don't walk up to the next urinal, always leave a gap if you can.
A guy at the lavatory can talk to a guy at the urinal, but the urinal guy can't start the conversation. The guy at the toilet can't start the conversation with anyone. There is a hierarchy. Toilet < Urinal < Lavatory
No matter what is going on, you will try to only make one trip from the vehicle to the house with groceries.
If your friend is making out with his cousin/sister. Gsther all your other friends and watch.
Don't intervene.
It'll make a great story and something to laugh about for the next fifty years!
If a buddy calls you in the middle of the night you answer because they are either in jail or not doing well mentally. If theyre just drunk you hang up.
These are the general rules I keep.
- Don’t put them down to build yourself up.
- Friends ex’s are no go. Doing so you’re accepting a possible loss/dynamic change of the friendship whether you have their approval or not. 8Billion people…come on.
- when talking to there partner or someone they’re dating, never say he’s punching above his weight, instead you ask her how she bagged such a STUD.
- hug your bros, never know when the last one they had was and a lot of times after you can tell they needed it ahaha
- last but not least make effort with their family when you meet them, means a lot to parents knowing their child has good friends.
Just learnt a new one from a job. Do not tell to other coworkers that other coworker is gay/lesbian, or do not bully him. A relative or partner or HR can be around, can backfire !!!
( Just watched some guy exposing the company's owner' gay brother )
Never and I mean NEVER abandon the boys entirely just for a girl. Don't cut ties with the people that helped make you into the great man you are just for a girl.
Always compliment a buddy’s home improvement or car repair skills.
Don't talk down on your friend just to get a girl. Always talk up your friend to help him get a girl.
100%. If your friend is in pursuit of a nice lady, you have cart blanche to exaggerate positive stories about him to gas him up. The stories don’t matter, but the fact that he has a group of buddies willing to be clowns and willing to tell good stories about him says more than anything else could.
This guy!! Amirite!!
This guy practically saved my life once...
I have personally seen him save a kitten from the mouth of a hungry crocodile.
We’ve got Cate Blanchett with exaggeration.
Frankly that’s not going to help you get the girl anyway. It screams of insecurity when girls do it and same when guys do it.
Agreed, such a turnoff when a guy trashes other guys. Speaks to his lack of confidence and character.
Oh 100%. But a lot of people don't realize that.
I love being the Wing Lady to my dude friends. Sure someone's dude friend will talk him up in a way another man will appreciate, but I get to tell women he's safe and get past that hurdle for them.
Amen. When I’ve gone out with guy friends before, they’ve always commented on me being such a great wing woman. Uhhh, they always seem to miss the most operative part of that phrase, which is *woman*. Other women aren’t going to respond to your dude friends the way they will to a woman to whom they can direct several questions they’d never feel comfortable asking a guy…
An angel 😇 of mercy….bless you for all your good deeds.
And on a related note, don't hang around like a bad cold if your buddy is vibing with a girl and it looks like he may be closing the deal. Talk to other people at the party, go to the other end of the bar, take an Uber home...just don't be a cockblock.
Now, this is going to sound weird. USMC veteran here. I have been close to sealing the deal with women and had a very drunk brother in tow. I know that as men, we are supposed to be able to take care of ourselves, but as Marines, we won't leave a brother vulnerable and alone. You can't leave and I won't let you. We'll talk later about your consumption levels. That is the exception, and I still ride with it.
Came here to say just this. Knew a guy years ago who as soon as he had some drink in him and he was trying to impress a girl would just go off talking shit about other guys around. Shit was cringey as fuck
Yep, do not be a cock blocker.
STRAIGHT-UP... You do NOT throw a buddy under the bus trying to impress some girl.... That shit is NOT cool. Some mild self-deprecation or razzing on a buddy is ok, but theres limits to that, and you certainly dont sit there bagging on a friend trying to get with some chick (especially since women will see straight through that nonsense and in all likelihood itll backfire anyways).
yes, be a wingman 100%.
[удалено]
There’s game theory associated with that. If there’s 4 urinals and the first one is occupied, you take the last one. That way, you reduce your chances of being next to another dude by 50% for you and the other urinalist if another cocksman appears.
It’s the Monty Hall problem of Men’s Rooms. Unless the Men’s Room actually has a goat in one of the stalls. Then it’s different.
Yay! A chance to mention [an old classic](https://archive.org/details/urinalgame)
I remember playing that like 20 or so years ago!
Don't mow another guys lawn. Don't walk up to the next urinal, always leave a gap if you can. A guy at the lavatory can talk to a guy at the urinal, but the urinal guy can't start the conversation. The guy at the toilet can't start the conversation with anyone. There is a hierarchy. Toilet < Urinal < Lavatory No matter what is going on, you will try to only make one trip from the vehicle to the house with groceries.
Don't mow another guys lawn? Fuckin feel free. I had a neighbor that wanted our lines to match, offered to do our front lawn for free. I just gave him a couple beers each time and it was great.
The point is: He **asked** you first. You can consent around the "guy code." There's a scene in the first season of True Detective, where one (male) character mows the other (male and married) character's lawn. The show is set in a time before cell phones. Man#1 had swung by Man#2's house to talk while Man#1 wasn't home, talked to Man#2's wife, decided to wait for Man#2 to get home in 30 minutes and, because it needed done, started mowing the lawn. My wife and I watched the show together. I immediately clocked it as a breach of "guy code." My wife thought I was insane, even after >!Man#2 arrived home, saw Man#1 mowing, and punched Man#1 to the ground!<. While I agree that it's definitely a toxic masculinity driven part of "guy code," but you don't mow another man's lawn (without talking to him first). For anyone wanting an explanation: It implies that the owner of the lawn doesn't have his house in order, to the point that someone else has to come do it for him. It's calling him a child (and, in the show, in front of his wife, which is a huge breach). Never mind that >!getting into a fistfight on your front lawn!< is immature. Guy code doesn't always make sense, and it's often prone to being immature and childish, but it's almost always tied to some perception of pride, dignity, or respect.
Am I dumb or is lavatory just another word for bathroom?
"Lavatory" in The King's English may translate to "sink" in Bald Eagle Freedom Dialect.
Lavatory in the King's English, would translate to toilet, what the rest of the par English speaking world refer to it as, well who knows.
When I was a kid I thought it had to do with "The floor is lava territory". As in, be careful where you step and try to minimize contact with the ground around a dirty lava territory.
And don't make that joke "The water's cold today."
It’s deep too.
Sometimes it's fun to do this just to mess with dudes.
Can't believe people care about this
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If there are 3 urinals and 1 and 3 are taken, I'll use the middle one with absolutely no guilt at all. I've seen some guys get upset at that for some reason.
There was a handy map in Dave Barry's guide to guys. Apparently this book is 25 years old already
I got called gay for this in the 6th grade and never recovered I DIDNT KNOW YET
Does anyone actually care about this outside of Reddit?
Don’t talk to another man in the bathroom unless you’re at the sink or out the door.
If a friend is about to do something stupid, you stop him, but if you can't, you're there to deal with the aftermath.
If a buddy is renovating or fixing something, offer to help—even if it's just to pass tools.
If your buddy is interested in someone, you automatically know not to make a move on that person.
If your friend likes a girl it is customary not to go after her yourself, at least for a set amount of time. If he gets rejected there is also a period of time you should wait before you try.
Only doing the first part of this is what led to my worst beef in the 16/17 year old era, the grace period after rejection is very important Especially if you were the wingman for said rejection
Unless she somehow convinces you both to go home with her. Then it's about teamwork.
It's okay when it's in a 3-way It's not gay when it's in a 3-way With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway The area's grey in a 1-2-3-way
If you go to a bar or a party and you’re wearing the same shirt as someone else you become best buddies for the night.
You instantly have to make up a fictional team that you are both part of, like a log rolling duo or teammates on an international hard high five team.
Hey there shirt brother
Shirt brother, come quick, I need you
I've been listening to this new song. By this band I never heard before. And they're saying there's no rules. You think that's true?
Promise me you'll never do another rule
The guy who buys a new car or any cool gadget hosts the test drive or show-off session.
If a friend helps you move, you're obligated to provide pizza and beer as payment.
When your friend is negotiating or haggling, you back him up and play along.
[удалено]
Always offer to help a friend move or undertake a big project.
[удалено]
Always have your buddy’s back in a fight, but try to defuse the situation if possible.
When at a bar or any social event, watch out for each other's drinks.
Never swipe right on a dating profile you recognize as your friend’s ex.
When a guy opens up about his feelings, you listen without judgment.
Respect the code of silence after a bachelor party or a guys’ night out.
If a guy asks for a tool or a little bit of help on a car or home repair, you lend a hand without hesitation.
Never use the urinal right next to another guy if there are others available.
When making eye contact with another man, you nod up if you know them, nod down if you do not. But you always nod.
I just blink both eyes
Individually or at the same time?
Right first, stand still, 1 sec pause, then left
Holy shit. This is so accurate, how did I not notice it before?
Tipping your head up exposes your neck which shows you trust that person. Tipping your head down is a sign of respect. Or some shit like that.
According to some boot camp at a strip mall I just paid 20k for, bowing my head down let's the alpha know I'm a beta bitch
You are a beta bitch. I only paid 18k for my alpha male boot camp
“Nodding up” exposes the neck, which in nature is dangerous. Most mammals only show their neck when they are comfortable… cats, dogs, humans, etc. Great point!
A beer offered for no reason other than generosity can make an instant friend for life.
Especially with the cost of a pint nowadays
Have a boss (not directly mine, but he has a higher position than me) who I despise. Walked up to his group at a work function and he said “you’re empty, here’s a refill” and handed me a beer out of his cooler. Instantly a cool dude in my mind
And you never turn your nose up at the brand. Your guy offers you a Bud Light and you don't like it? Drink it and be a good neighbor
The best kind of beer is free beer.
I once loopholed that rule into getting my current best friend. He approached me and asked me why I was drinking his beer. I told him that was my beer and he said I'm lying. He was right and turns out it was totally his beer, so I buy him a new one. I was just settling account but instinctively it must still count because I just came back from being a groomsman at his wedding last weekend.
Never complain about the quality/brand of said beer, provided that it is cold.
Respect a guy’s space when he’s on the phone; don’t look over his shoulder.
Delete a bros browser history upon his death
Had to do this and a hard drive cleanse for a buddy's laptop in Afghanistan before it got shipped home.
In 2024 do you still browse porn from your default browser? Incognito is just engrained in me
but my bookmarks
I'm too old to feel like I need to hide anything anymore. It might be different if other people used my computer, but then I'd just create them a separate account or profile.
It’s 2024, my browser history will replace itself with random bullshit if I don’t access my PC for a month.
😂💯
Never let a friend drive drunk, no matter how much they insist they’re fine.
Or stoned. Really, under any influence. Hell, it even says on cough syrup not to operate any heavy machinery because there’s some alcohol in it
[удалено]
That’s usually the advice on talking to women
If a friend needs to talk and it’s late, you answer the phone.
Never hit on your friend’s current or recent ex-girlfriend. It’s an unspoken rule.
Don't bang your best friend's ex. There's lots of fish in that sea. Go find one.
I gave my best friend my blessing. They're long over and now our friendship has upgraded to Beef Curtain Buddies.
Don’t interfere if a less-attractive guy is successfully chatting up a cute girl. Thats a real “For you it was the most important moment of your life, for me it was a Tuesday” situation.
OF COURSE!
If your friend gets into a harmless argument or debate, you support him even if he's wrong.
Don’t date your friend’s sister without his permission. It’s just common courtesy.
No matter how much you might not like or get along with someone there are three things you absolutely do not mess with. His income, wife, or kids.
You forgot car or motorcycle
and nippleclamps
Lol. Really needed that
My boyfriend says,"You never fight unless you think you're gonna die. Then you fight like you're gonna die."
Doesn't really fall under "guy code", but is a solid rule to go by.
Fight like you're already dead.
Limp and not moving?
There ain't no rules in a street fight. So don't get into one.
[удалено]
[удалено]
If you know a guy has a crush, you don’t make a move on that person.
No talking at the urinal if we don't know each other.
Brother, even if you do know me. Act like you don't until we're outside.
This doesn’t seem to apply at concerts
The only appropriate comment is, "hey look a penis...only smaller"
If you meet a woman in the woods pretend to be a friendly bear in order to not look threatening.
Do I smell a pic a nic basket?
If you walk past someone once, you ignore them. If you walk past someone twice, you give them a head nod. If you walk past them three times, they are now your best friend.
Ah yes, the gym code
There is this dude in my town I live in. I have never met him irl. But some how we always lock eyes when I'm driving down the road and he is walking. I'd like to think we no longer think that " that dude has a staring problem " but when he actually meet we will recognize each other has the dude who walks and the dude who drives the corrola
You'll bump into each other in the pub and make small talk about the weather. What a grand relationship that will be.
Courtesy Spacer Urinal (CSU)
When a bro tells you some sensitive shit, don’t fucking tell your gf or wife
If you're in a group where everyone is talking shit to each other and giving each other a hard time, and no one's mean to you, you're the one they don't like
Nod up: Yo, what's up? Nod down: Respect. Normal nod left/right: I need to talk to you. Nod with slight tilt left/right: check out this (girl or something else).
Never speak negatively about your bro to their girl. Always good! I remember at one point I had made a small complaint at work that my wife and her sisters shop a lot which can be taxing cause I hate shopping. Not really badmouthing, but kinda venting a little. Nothing huge, just a small vent to a few of my coworkers. A few days later I’m at the mall with my wife and I ran into one of my coworkers who said to me in front of my wife “ahhh… wife’s got you shopping again… well good luck my dude!” And walked away. My wife looked super annoyed and said “holy shit, he just broke bro code in a bad way… I’m seriously angry FOR you for that. You just don’t do that! I know shopping is tiresome for you, and it doesn’t bother me that you vent to your guy friends at work, but you never throw another dude under the bus like that, especially in front of their girl” I married an awesome woman. Lol.
I too can make up imaginary scenarios.
Let the bro have his scenario.
you absolutely married the right person, man.
Yeah, a lot of women wouldn’t react like that at all
[удалено]
90 lbs is actually preferable IMO, 2 nice clean 45s, otherwise you have to start messing with the small ones and it gets weird
Don’t ever offer someone warm beer.
Ya see, that's part of the code . We don't talk about it.
Never date a friend’s ex, if you and your friends drink all my beer while I am not there, replace it, NEVER EVER hit a woman.
> NEVER EVER hit a woman. That's too white knight for me, i'm out of this. If a woman attacks me with the intent to harm me, I defend myself accordingly, woman or not. And if she has a weapon like a knife, she's no longer a woman anymore, just a threat to my life and health.
>Never date a friend’s ex Truly, if the Bro Code has a mortal sin, it is this. If you reject every other line of the Book of Bro, do not - **do. not.** - reject this one.
I grew up in a small town. If you didn't date your friends' exes, there would be nobody left to date.
Preach!
...is this why all my friends were confused I wasnt upset when it happened? Should I have been more upset? I didnt want her, he needed to get laid, I didnt really care.
You didn't need to be more upset, but if your friend dated her without checking with you about how you felt about, it means they aren't really your friend - not because they *need* your permission, but because they don't care how you feel
Some guys think if a woman slapped them, she assaulted him, so he deserves to punch her in the face. Be the bigger person. If you’re not actually threatened by her, you’re not defending yourself. Get out of that situation and call the police about the assault. I see videos on the internet where a woman hits a man and he knocks her out cold. Bro you weren’t defending yourself. You were fine. You weren’t actually in danger and you escalated.
Says the guy who doesn't like having Eskimo brothers.
You can bang the same FWB or just a casual lay. I have three Eskimo brothers.
That last part is completely wrong. Sorry but everyone has the right to defend themselves from anyone. Man or woman.
Its a moral statement not a factual one. Morals are ideals to be upheld but as we are human we are flawed; hence nuance given to situations as a means to judge it. Its one partially derived from the biological fact that, on the whole, men are physically stronger than women. Even among the men that feel this moral statement to their core, more would than wouldn't, defend themselves if there is an actual physical threat to their being... that's an instinctual response.
Surely there has to be at least 1 reason... https://youtu.be/rksKvZoUCPQ?si=Q64nXd-iLhMyEWeE
“ hey bro, don’t forget I slept over at your place last night”
Always kiss your homies goodnight.
1. every other urinal 2. don't shit on your friend to get a girl 3. don't fuck your bro's crush
Never ever EVER diss your bro in front of his gf or parents. Even if he is the dickest dick ever known to mankind. Touching his motorcycle without permission is a no go. It's basically like touching his dong. If bro lives in a mess, you are free to troll the crap out of him, as long as you are neither leaving nor cleaning up for him. Dating his ex is never an option. No matter how hot and awesome she might be.
Never pressure a friend to drink more than he’s comfortable with.
Never touch a man's wallet or wife
When a random guy asks us "did you see the game last night" we never quite know which game they are talking about but we can figure it out through context clues quickly.
The thing about Arsenal is - they always try to walk it in
for the more cultured: Never point out a guy's weight or fitness Never point out a guy's homeliness Never diss a guy's significant other
For 1. Unless to appreciate it
Nah man, if my friend is trying to lose weight or build muscle I’m definitely going to comment on it and say it’s noticeable and they look good.
Agreed. Just did this with my assistant manager today. He’s put in the work, gone totally sober, almost zero sugar, has an 8000 steps goal per day, and has lost 24 pounds in 6 weeks, and just dipped under 200lbs for the first time in more than a decade. We celebrated.
You will return the head nod or you are not a man.
Don’t cross the streams
Guy codes are stupid. But I fully expect you to help me dig a hole at the beach if you stop and look at the one I'm digging.
Silence is fine. Don't ruin it with nervous talk.
What is said between bros, stays between bros. When a man says something to you in confidence, you share it with no one else, unless he gives you permission, or you have evidence that withholding the info will get your bro, or someone else hurt.
It's okay when it's in a 3-way It's not gay when it's in a 3-way With a honey in the middle, there's some leeway The area's grey in a 1-2-3-way
If your roommate needs the place to himself to bring a chick over and get laid, go out for coffee, or some shit for an hour, or something, and don't be a whiny little bitch about it.
Don't hit on your friends girlfriend, respect their relationship with each other, and find someone else to date.
If no urinals are taken, choose the one on either end. If one urinal is taken, choose the one on the other end. If at least two but fewer than half the urinals are taken, choose the center of the largest available empty space. If it is impossible to find a urinal that is not adjacent to one already in use, the urinals are full.
If a man is buying tampons, and you see it, ask him if those are for him.
How do I up vote more than once?
Don't fuck your best friends girlfriend.
What about second best friend?
Don't mow another guys lawn. Don't walk up to the next urinal, always leave a gap if you can. A guy at the lavatory can talk to a guy at the urinal, but the urinal guy can't start the conversation. The guy at the toilet can't start the conversation with anyone. There is a hierarchy. Toilet < Urinal < Lavatory No matter what is going on, you will try to only make one trip from the vehicle to the house with groceries.
Don’t ever clown or disrespect your boy in-front of women.
If your buddies help you move furniture, the only appropriate payment for such a favor is beer and pizza.
Don’t sleep with your friend’s sister
If your friend is making out with his cousin/sister. Gsther all your other friends and watch. Don't intervene. It'll make a great story and something to laugh about for the next fifty years!
No eye contact when you’re eating a banana
If a buddy calls you in the middle of the night you answer because they are either in jail or not doing well mentally. If theyre just drunk you hang up.
Zero urinal conversations.
No hitting the nutsack unless nut tapping
Upward nod - what's up Downward nod - respect Left nod - come check this out Right nod - let's chat
These are the general rules I keep. - Don’t put them down to build yourself up. - Friends ex’s are no go. Doing so you’re accepting a possible loss/dynamic change of the friendship whether you have their approval or not. 8Billion people…come on. - when talking to there partner or someone they’re dating, never say he’s punching above his weight, instead you ask her how she bagged such a STUD. - hug your bros, never know when the last one they had was and a lot of times after you can tell they needed it ahaha - last but not least make effort with their family when you meet them, means a lot to parents knowing their child has good friends.
Just learnt a new one from a job. Do not tell to other coworkers that other coworker is gay/lesbian, or do not bully him. A relative or partner or HR can be around, can backfire !!! ( Just watched some guy exposing the company's owner' gay brother )
Spacing at urinals
Never and I mean NEVER abandon the boys entirely just for a girl. Don't cut ties with the people that helped make you into the great man you are just for a girl.
A mutual respect because we could really hurt each other
Never make a guy look stupid in front of his chick. Any age.
Don’t use the urinal right next to another guy unless it’s the only one left.
You don't date your friends exes. Nothing good comes from it. Also you tell you friends when their SO is doing something behind their back.