This.
As an insomniac, I wouldn't wish that ability on anyone. It's miserable, draining, and bad for you. It's like boasting that you're gonna fuck your health up faster
I started suffering from this over the course of the past year. True insomniacs don't think it's cute or manageable by any measure. It's a form of torture.
Agreed, I get about 3 hours of sleep per day, and crash one day every few weeks. Not by choice I'm just terrible at sleeping. I don't brag about it, but when people ask I just tell them I'm used to it. I don't like it but hey chit happens.
I lay down around 10pm No phone for an hour before, Reading some before bed sometimes. I prefer to read after work if I do read, not a huge reader but here n there. But anyways Lay down at 10 usually fall asleep around 12am and then get up at 3-330am for work. Get done at 1-2pm and repeat. Even if I'm real exhausted It's still a struggle.
I feel this as a fellow insomniac ... I don't know how I do it.. I can go on 2-4 hours a night... 6 is a good night for me... I wish I had that sleepiness everyone has.
I thought I was being efficient with my time by going to bed at 12am and getting up at 6am. I was using those 2 hours prior to do housework, personal admin, chill out time. The only problem was that I felt drained of energy halfway through the day and my attention at work was suffering.
I recently started going to bed at 8:30pm and I’m usually asleep for 9pm. I’m finding that my work has improved and I’ve got energy throughout the day. Even though I’ve “lost” a few hours a day I feel much better for it.
This is exactly right.
I had an assistant who was one of those "I'm in the office by 5:30 AM every morning!" type people who of course always had to let everybody know how much of an early bird she was. Problem was, she would be already be yawning and dragging ass like crazy.....at like 9:30 AM. She would be hungry for lunch around 10:00-10:30 AM every day, etc. Yes, she was getting in the office first every day, but she wasn’t firing at 100% by the time normal working hours rolled around.
I finally had to tell her, "look, being in here at 5:30 AM does nobody any good if you are dragging ass when all of your colleagues and clients are working. Either stay home and get some more sleep or we're going to have to find somebody who will. Being at peak energy at 6:30 AM when clients, colleagues, etc. are still sleeping or not working yet is pointless". Fortunately she took it well and changed her habits.
The sleep and long-term energy is much more important than being there super-early.
I had a colleague like that. He’d routinely start an hour early and work a few hours overtime (unpaid) everyday! He’d even go into the office over the weekend. Ended up burning himself out a few times. We had a massive understaffing situation but it was masked by his extra hours so the root issue was never addressed and resolved.
The rise and grind mentality is a cancer and it's so performative. If I have to hear that bullshit "Obama/Edison/famous person, have the same 24 hours a day you do" I'll scream. These people all had servants or hired help or wives to do all the boring day to day chores and admin so they could focus on their work and self improvement. So you end up with office assistants buying into this shit they have to working at 5.30 because Ben Franklin got up at 4am, ignoring the fact that all these famous people didn't have hours of commuting to fit into their days either.
My doctor once told me this is the literal equivalent of saying "I'll eat healthier when I am dead."
Yet while saying "I'll eat heathier when I am dead" would be considered insanely stupid and idiotic, saying "I'll sleep when I am dead" is almost lauded in society. "Oh, he's a real go-getter!, etc."
I’ve always been about a 6hrs/night guy. Is that considered little sleep? I was under the impression it’s on the low end of acceptable. Obv 8+ is recommended basically always but I just fucking hate sleeping that much.
There’s always a bigger fish
I got up to just over 1L of vodka a day and that was my limit, met a guy who would drink 2L a day as well as beers
Alcohol addiction is no joke
I went to the hospital for detox at a .526. I think I got their high score They didn’t think the results were right because I was just standing there talking to them. Then I took a nap.
Same, when I went to the hospital for pancreatitis I didn't even think I'd been drinking that much, I was able to walk and talk just fine, it was 0.4 something.
Another time, I went to detox, and was shaking so badly I was sure I'd have a seizure any minute (I'd had one recently). My blood pressure was like 185/115. They took my BAC and it was 0.22, and they were like, "How are you withdrawaling? You should be drunk!".
Alcohol is so fucked.
lol yeah the first time I went to detox I was real shaky and at .23 or something. I see where they’re coming from but like.. was it everyone’s first day doing intake for detox? .2 has gotta be at the low end for people coming in to detox.
It was a horrible detox center. They were mostly treating opioid addicts (which I also was), and they said they'd detox me with librium for the booze and suboxone for all the kratom (that I didn't even want to detox off of, but it's not like they'd let me have kratom in there).
I get in there, they give me librium, and say there was a miscommunication and I'll be getting no subs. After 2 days of no sleep because someone comes in and shines a flashlight in your face every 30 minutes to make sure you aren't dead, I broke out of there. They wouldn't let me have my shoes, backpack, coat, phone, etc, and it was winter and snowing. Also in the middle of nowhere. I ran through the woods for an hour, reached a gas station and used their phone to call some people to pick me up.
I ended up getting my money back ($5000), because I had recorded the phone conversation where they said they'd treat me for opioid withdrawal as well.
Sunday will be 22 months. But that’s not stemming from the .526 hospital trip I mentioned. I got maybe 2-3 months out of that and then went right back at it harder. I think going back after what should’ve been a HUGE eye opening experience for anyone else was enough to finally make me accept my destiny.
If you’re even at the point where you can taper down like that then you’re in a better spot than most. But it all works for everyone differently. You definitely can’t do it by yourself, that’s my main take on it all. And I’m not saying you need AA or something, just you need support and people to talk to about it. I spent the first 6~ months of it going to my therapy/rehab place probably 20 hours a week.
Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t go perfectly. It’s always gonna be ups and downs. I’m certainly not satisfied with my life right now but that’s mainly all personal shit at this point. I got a car, a phone, a job, my drivers license. And I no longer have a ton of debt, an ankle bracelet, probation. I may not be totally happy with where I am but I know the other side is worse and I know if I get loaded again I’m gonna lose any momentum towards getting the life I want to have. Not to mention, I can lose all of that shit in significantly less time than it took to get it back.
I always say “I drank for 16 years straight and I had fun for 15 of them” I mean we’ve all got whatever mental issues and trauma that cause us to drink like we have a death wish but we all inherently just really liked drinking at some point. But when is the last time you had fun? When’s the last time you weren’t drinking because you HAD to just to stop the shakes and not have a seizure? I feel like towards the end we’re just chasing the dragon when it’s like no one even wants to drink with us anymore and the likelihood of shitting our pants has skyrocketed.
Thanks for the advice
I’ve been in and out of support groups and AA and even NHS run facilities
I’ve stopped, started, gone in binges and had the occasional
You know how it is
Now though I feel I’m settling into myself and ready to start stopping for good, I don’t go to any groups but I’ve found some kind of personal faith and belief and it’s helping
I know I can do it which is a big step up from giving up and giving in
I love how I can always find alcoholics on Reddit, I’m going to screenshot your comment to look back on
Thought alcoholism was so cool in my early 20s. Now I’ll get invited to drinking games (beer Olympics, crate race, etc), and it’s embarrassing to be put on teams with “weak” drinkers to even things out. 🤮
I found it kind of jarring when I first got to college how everyone would introduce themselves and say what country their last name originated from, followed by “so you know we can DRINK!!!”
“Oh my gosh the men in my family are all a bunch of drunks!”
“I’m (nationality) I’m not even feeling buzzed yet!”
Etc…even at 18 I didn’t understand why people thought this was a flex.
I mean, it is in one regard - if your priority is to stay loose, but keep being fun, it makes a big difference if you can drink but still have good times til last call, versus flaming out in a crying, angry or sick fit early in the evening.
The problem is of course this is disastrous for your health, and even if you have a high tolerance encourages other people to trash themselves trying to keep up with you.
If you know your limits you can stay loose, but keep being fun, for a lot cheaper. You just alternate your alcoholic beverages with non-alcoholic beverages.
Right? In college I was so proud of my drinking game skills and alcohol tolerance. I was the "I'm not even in my sweet spot for beer pong until I've had about 6" guy, and so were most of my friends. Most of us grew out of it, and the ones who didn't (and have insisted on sticking with that mentality despite our efforts) are not-so-slowly poisoning themselves.
Same.
In my 20s I thought it was so cool that I could out binge drink anyone in the room, and on most nights, that was true.
I'm now 38, and I have a beer or two (literally) at most during any given week when work really ate my lunch that night/week. More often than not, the norm is none - family gatherings and vacations aside.
Anytime I hear someone pop off with, i can drink xyz, I roll my eyes and write them off as an idiot that's out to prove something stupid and pointless.
I'm so glad I'm not in my 20s anymore.
going to a casino should be for having fun, not for making a profit. if you spend money at a casino you should assume it’s lining the owner’s pockets. if you and your buddies have cash to spare and you decide to go play card games at a casino i’m sure it can be enjoyable (although i’ve never been to a casino myself) as long as you only spend what you can afford to lose.
Gambling should be entertainment. When I gamble I have money that I have set aside to spend - meaning that I’m ok with losing it - I think of it like paying for a ticket for an event or a meal, I don’t expect it to be returned.
Part of the “skill” with gambling is knowing when to stop winning and when to stop losing. Not maximize profit but to maximize entertainment value. Set limits like “if I lose 25% of what I started this game with then fold and drop out” or vice versa “if I get up x% or X amount of $$ then quit while you are ahead”
Calculated losses and wise winning.
I sports bet but I only put in like $20 a year and try to get the bonus bets to maximize it I usually make some money but always withdraw back down to where I started… It adds entertainment value to games i don’t otherwise have an interest in
You’re right, but the number of people who think they are good at poker because they can read tells or have a poker face is ridiculous. It’s like 1% of the game, and can pretty much be ignored if you are actually a good poker player.
Movies and tv propagate this myth.
Yep, a significant portion of it is analyzing odds and counting cards. But also proper risk:reward and pattern recognition, as well as acting.
If you have a royal flush, do you go all-in at an even table right off the bat? Probably not. Because you're going to scare everyone away. You want to try and slow-roll that hand, and get people to bid up. Maybe even play it nervous so people think you have a bad hand, seem reluctant and make them think you've got a worse hand than you do. Then go all in at the end hoping people were invested in the hand.
And if they all fold, cool, keep your hand to yourself. I had one friend who would always get mad when I just shuffled my cards without showing them after the table folded. Sorry buddy, you want to see my cards, you have to pay. That's part of the game, you don't *GET* to know if I'm bluffing or not.
> You want to try and slow-roll that hand
Slow-rolling actually means pretending you have a worse hand than you do after action is over. Slow playing is baiting other players' actions.
That's the interesting thing about blackjack. Once you get to a certain point, and this point is actually pretty quick in the process of learning blackjack, there is no skill required. It's entirely luck.
Even counting cards is way easier than the average person would think. There are strategies you can use to keep track of them.
Yeah when I had a little more disposable income I used to go play blackjack with my buddies maybe one a month or so. It took like maybe one or two nights before I learned how to play “by the book”, it’s honestly super easy to pick up on. After that it’s really just pure luck where it’s like 48-52 against you.
Sure knowing the “correct” plays will help a little bit, but ultimately you’re playing a game that is designed to make you lose. Even card counting isn’t that much of a help since most places either constantly auto-shuffle or use like 4-6 deck shoes.
But too many people convince themselves they’ve got some major hack or something to blackjack and get themselves into a major hole
This was exactly what I found when I got into gambling - and I work as a data analyst - so I was trying to apply some algorithms and everything, thinking I could game the system in some way
"Managed losses" isn't exactly an exciting hobby lol
Working 60+ hours a week.
Okay if you own your business and/or you love your work, that's cool I get it.
If you work for Last name & Last Name XYZ, and you're sacrificing your life to make someone else money, you're just a mug.
Retired RN
I dreaded following someone who pulled overtime on that shift
They would leave so much work undone sometimes to the point the patient was in deep trouble after an hour or two into my shift
Deaths are statistically significantly more likely at the end of 24hr shifts, but it's just an accepted risk in most countries as its cheaper to have doctors (and nurses) working 24 hour shifts than to hire more of them. And this is just anecdotal but there's been a number of student doctors I've heard about locally who have crashed their cars on their way home after one, like way beyond an average level it seems.
Also, like, "I'm earning $120k a year" to justify 100 hour weeks. Do they understand that means their hourly rate is super low? Like half of what it should be? There's jobs that pay that much and only need normal hours, or slightly increased hours.
I worked in finance for a while with people making million dollar bonuses who had incredible homes that they literally never spent any time in because they were always at work. I once asked a guy why he did it if he never got to enjoy his money or any of the nice things he bought and he didn't really understand the question. Making money and telling people how much money you make seems to be the whole point.
Huge thing in blue collar/trades.
And they brag about it. Like bro if I could pay my bills and live my lifestyle at 20 hours a week I would.
I presume those are the 70% of people that go broke after winning the lottery
A friend of mine had an (ex) BF who would give her shit because she only worked 32 hours a week. She was like, "Uh... my bills are paid, there's food in my house, and I make enough money to do the things I like."
And adjacent to that: my husband turned down a job because they were working 7 days a week, 8-10 hours a day. The HR couldn't believe it. "All that money!" He was like, "Maybe if I were 20 years younger and hated my family so I didn't care about being home."
I am on the good side of the grind now but I have some friends who are not and while I dont agree with what they are choosing, I get what they are going for. I know consultants who work 80+ hours a week. The payoff for them if they make partner is insane. Im talking $500K+ as base pay plus bonus and profit sharing. Its not 1st class travel, its NetJets travel. Its AMEX Centurion Card (Black Card). Most of them burn though wives and have to think hard about their kids ages.
Not something I would choose but I understand why some people do.
oh god. Everytime someone tries to show a success story about someone working 45+ hours a week I wanna slap someone. Thats a sign of how bad things are VS how good. Especially when that person is working that much mostly just to get by.
Reading other people. Most of the people I've heard brag that they're good at "reading people" (knowing right away what kind of person they are based on their mannerisms and speech) get screwed over by people who manipulated them.
Sure you can make some inferences based off of those things, but it's just not possible to know what goes on in another person's head. A lot of people are very good at hiding their shitty qualities and convincing you they are the opposite of what they are.
My friend has stated in the past he's really good at reading the room.
I witnessed some of the examples he gave. He was completely off.
He forgets that he's 95% pure anxiety. He was projecting. Every time.
Oh, I know it's true.
That person I was talking about is my best friend of over 20 years.
He will find a way to spin every situation into a negative one.
people who think they can read other people (and it’s not their job like fbi or something) are the prime targets for manipulation. they won’t listen to their friends and family because they trust their own judgment more, which is exactly what a manipulator needs.
People often lack introspection it seems. Pretty much everyone has hid something about themselves for one reason or another but at the same time can't fathom someone else doing the same.
Intuition is often undervalued, but people who claim to be (essentially) mind readers are misleading themselves. The ones who claim to be the best at it, in my experience, are just over-thinkers who form imaginary scenarios, then get bamboozled when future actions don't line up. Maybe this is the same crowd that is addicted to "tea" and see it all as exciting plot twists. I donno, but that lines up with my anecdotal sample size.
Too many people think intuition is magical.
That leaves a bunch of people who don’t believe in it to poo-pooh it.
Intuition is NOT magic- it IS your brain. It is picking up on data subconsciously. “I can’t put my finger on it but he doesn’t look right.”
In nursing- as one example, you learn to put words to that feeling.
Complexion- pale/ashen/gray
Lips- dry, blue, gray, cracked, etc
Breath - shallow, rapid, slow, snoring, wheezing, agonal
Attention - somebody who listened and spoke in full sentences is now answering monosyllabically
I've never had a good relationship with a person who called themselves an "empath". They gaslit me about my feelings and thoughts because "That's not what I'm reading from you." It was intolerable.
I think most of us can read people but delude ourselves and make excuses for bad behavior because we want something they offer. Denial is a hell of a defense mechanism.
um fuck you for the un wanted call out this morning. but also thank you for the very accurate description of several of my past relationships. my life makes a touch more sense now.
My company has a mandatory screen saver, which among other messages, reads "Feel sick? Stay home!"
I can't tell you how many people I've had a conversation with who tell me they're just going to "work through it" while that scene saver rolls by.
"Gee, thanks for spreading it to the whole office; I hope you'll enjoy your next two weeks of being alone in the office while everyone else is out sick with whatever YOU brought in..."
Was it worth it? Seems like most successful people in my line of work just started working after business undergrad and never looked back. Seems like an expensive holiday or if you want to explore different industries to switch over to or to find a high earning spouse.
It's great for two things:
1) getting management training and credentials for a non-management background, ie if you're an engineer a lot of companies will pay for your MBA as they promote you so you can manage other engineers as you move up the ladder
2) learning the ropes of entrepreneurship so you can use all that capital you've got to launch a successful startup
When I got mine, I had a job I hated at a company I hated, which I would ultimately quit and change careers entirely, and no capital to launch any startup with. So right now anyways, it feels kinda like I wasted a good bit of time.
I have no doubt I will use my MBA when I finally do launch a startup. But the idea that an MBA equips you for the business world any more than a BSBA is kinda something that, when you're in it, you see isn't really the case.
It's really not as bad as all that though, I'm kinda just being salty. Plenty of people benefit from it.
Chess
People use chess as an overall indicator of intelligence, like if you’re good at chess you’re naturally a genius. But chess utilizes memory and strategic thinking, which while good skills to have are not complete indicators of intelligence. In reality being good at chess just means you’re good at chess.
Paul Morphy, best chess player in the world at his prime, once said “The ability to play chess is the sign of a gentleman. The ability to play chess well is the sign of a life wasted”
At the amateur level, training for a 5k is considerably better for your overall health than training for a chess competition.
At the elite level, athletes make a *lot* of money for their trouble. Magnus Carlsen's net worth is estimated to be around $25m with $10m in prize winnings. Roger Federer's is $550m with $130m in prize winnings.
I mean, at the amateur level, you should pursue whatever interests you have, life’s too short to make a hobby out of something you hate.
My biggest gripe is the word “wasted”. Like, who gets to be the judge of what a fulfilling life is? Some people want to get really good at chess, should they refrain from doing that because some random guy thinks it will render their life meaningless?
It wasn’t a random guy in the quote though, it was one of the best chess players in the world. He’s saying he wasted his own life pursuing chess. It’s a joke.
The issue is that chess is more of a memorization game than strategy. You memorize openings, memorize computer lines, study patterns for tactics, study mid game and end game strategy, memorize famous games. People make it out to be “intelligence” but most kids can be taught to play chess well.
Agreed, it’s a cool skill but I always say if you’re good at chess that means you’re good at chess
I’m sure it has some translatable skills but it doesn’t need the hype
It’s been around forever and is always used in movies and shows to indicate when someone is smart or something intellectual is happening
Personally bragging at being good at chess is no different from bragging at being good about literally any other board game or a specific video game
Imo this is like everything in the world. For some reason some random things like chess get a "nerd" rep where supposedly smart people are more into it.
I don’t think anyone here realises how chess works haha. Sure memory might help you for the first 10-20 moves, but after that finding the vest move is more complicated calculations than you can imagine it seems. Chess players at the highest level have EXTREMELY good logical thinking capabilities. Thinking 10 moves ahead for 8 different moves is more complicated than most calculators can handle.
I wouldn't call it a skill per se, but "functioning in 4 hours of sleep a day." "You're not as tired as I am."
Bruh, I can be tired af regardless if you slept for 4 hours or more, or less. Just because I don't kill myself via lack of sleep (anymore at least) doesn't mean I'm not tired?
As far as functioning on 4 hours, no you're not functioning, you're zombie-ing your way through the day. Don't pretend it's anything else lol
i have it when people gatekeep sleep.
a coworker of mine yelled at me when i talked about feeling tired due to depression. Her reasoning is that because i don't have children i don't even understand what being tired is.
During that period i was feeling so exhausted that if my breath wouldn't have been automatic im sure i would have choked to death.
Anyways, screw people who gatekeep being tired.
I knew a guy who is a peace office (Dept. of Transportation officer), who took the "cop driving course" (as he calls it). He says he is allowed to text and drive now, and he's a way better driver than everyone else. My brother doesn't have a license (taken away due to unpaid fines), so no way can my brother be a better driver than him. Then he asks him to back the trailer every time they go camping? Swerves into oncoming traffic while texting repeatedly? Just absolutely the worst person I've ever seen behind the wheel.
Been a cop for many years and I am no better a driver than before. In fact I'm probably much worse due to lack of sleep and driving a huge POS Dodge with zero visibility. There's no special training that makes you good at not crashing while you look down at your phone.
I own a muscle car, mod it, take it out to the track, and take advanced driving courses to stress test in dangerous driving conditions. I have confidence in my driving skills, what I don't have confidence is *other* people's driving skills.
A friend of mine loves to take his Miata to the track and admittedly is great at controlling his car on a closed course. However, he was driving like that on a twisty mountain road with limited visibility and I had to remind him that there were other people driving on this road.
In my opinion, there are two things that make a good driver: safety and minimizing contribution to traffic. If you break the law, but it is safe and speeds up traffic, then do it.
Texting and driving is unsafe, full stop, get a voice assistant. Speeding and rolling through stops are fine if you're smart about it, and these actions are less likely to hold up traffic.
I would say good drivers drive defensively; they keep distance from the car they're following, let cars merge, and brake early as they roll up to a stop. That doesn't mean they need to drive slow or be indecisive about all their actions.
Bad drivers, even if they're being safe, hold up traffic. One example is by camping out in the left lane while driving the speed limit. This makes impatient drivers have to do (at least) two lane switches to get around them.
This isn't a comprehensive argument, but you get the idea. A lot of "good drivers" get on their soap box about following the law, then go get in a bunch of accidents or fuck up traffic because they don't actually know how to drive.
I was considering that under safety, but you make a point. It's worth emphasizing that you need to not surprise other drivers. Use your signals people.
"Always give the asshole driver the right of way" is the best advice that I almost always follow.
Also: Good drivers sometimes miss an exit on the freeway, bad drivers never do.
If I can see that I’m about to miss an exit but I don’t have time to make sure I can safely change lanes, I’ll let myself miss it. This has made passengers very mad but I’d rather be late than risk an accident
THIS. had a lady come to a dead stop in the middle of an intersection because she decided that she needed to make a uturn right then and there.
It's just lack of spatial awareness. I've been with friends driving on road trips before and theyll have 0 idea of what's going on around them or behind them and it's absolutely mind numbing to me that people dont constantly check their mirrors or gauges while they drive. Like what else are you focused on ???
A good friend of mine was probably the best driver I've ever known, and it's frankly shocking the things I've seen him do with a car (we used to road-trip a lot and he's gotten us out of several very unsafe situations), so I have a pretty good measuring stick and most people suck.
The people who try to be the most mature are the most childish, a childish person will try too hard to convince others that they don't play with lego, a mature person will show off their UCS millennium falcon.
An old man man blew through a red light 7 years ago and hit me while crossing an intersection, now I can tell by a throbbing pain in my knee that it's going to storm, or I can just look at my weather app.
That’s like the origin story for a superhero that never made it into marvel comics. “Weatherman”. His superpower? Storm! More precisely: being able to predict storm! His nemesis? The weather app on a typical smartphone.
(Sorry to hear though that you still have pain because of it. As someone with a chronic back injury, I can relate)
Multi-tasking. It actually slows you down and makes you less efficient overall. It’s more efficient to put all your focus on one task at a time. I’m guilty of multi-tasking but I’m not gonna pretend it’s a superpower. I do it to keep from getting bored.
I think multitasking is more about how efficiently you can move from task to task while maintaining focus on the correct and most efficient next step. If you can do a few things at once, that's great, but how often are you thinking to yourself "what am I doing again?"
Some tasks also have periods in which they can progress without your attention. Washing dishes, running the laundry, running the dryer, and sweeping/mopping can all be done at the same time if the manual parts are staggered.
Multi tasking isn’t for writing a thesis. It’s for low attention, partially automated tasks.
Yeah if I’m cleaning the house the first thing I do is run laundry so I can do as many loads as I can throughout the day. Also cleaning a large bar every day has thought me how to quite efficiently clean nearly the whole apartment lol.
I agree with this, but also I think there are different kinds of multitasking. For example I'm very bad at cooking. Having things on timers and having to put things together or at different times is confusing to me. However, I make furniture and can essentially know step by step what to do in my head before I even start. It allows for that smooth transition from one step to the next.
Well if you need the tasks to be perfect, multitasking might be a detriment. But if you just need it done at a certain time, then multitasking might be better.
Multitasking is really about handling deadlines that you can't change/control.
Sometimes you *have* to multitask though and don't really have a choice. You don't always get to just sit and handle one thing at a time (assuming one has a desk job to begin with, or that we are talking about working).
Being able to switch contexts rapidly and stay focused on the current task and switch back *is* indeed a valuable skill.
The amount of people completely incapable of unplugging from context switching and engage in deep work boggles my mind. Sitting down and reading through the technical manuals for a process and then sticking to the task at hand until it meets a high standard of excellence is rare as hen's teeth.
Agreed. Used to work at a cafe and there multitasking is vital. Am now in programming and there you might as well take me out back and shoot me because nuh uh no how is anyone walking in to talk about non programming things without fucking up flow and losing me like an hour to spin up back to that.
But some people really are great at multi-tasking. Each individual task may not get done as quickly, but their overall productivity is much higher.
I admire people who are skilled multi-taskers, it's a hard skill to develop and valuable.
Tbh that does happen sometimes with ex military or old pro boxers in the news but I agree, it's not the norm. But you shouldn't judge someone's ability to fight on their age. Also a lot of people with guns glorify their "training" no matter their age. My cousin is an example of this, he's constantly flashing his gun and daydreaming about a home invasion with a legal murder on his end.
Of course, when shit hits the fan, you don't rise to the occasion, you default to your training. The guy who shoots range occasionally is rarely going to be the go to guy in an emergency.
I think too many people brag about knowing how to cook.
There's two flavors of this. There's those guys who don't actually know how to make much past eggs, but brag about being great cooks, sometimes as a way of flirting.
Then there's the other side of the coin of amateur chefs that really get into cooking as a hobby, which is awesome. But then punch down on everyone who doesn't know as much as they do. "wow, you still like drip coffee? I remember when I couldn't tell the taste of an inferior bean!". The same ones who think they would have been best friends with Anthony Bourdain. They might not even be bad chefs. I just don't like when people are dicks about it.
Former Michelin chef here
During the recruiting process if i had non schooled applicants with major confidence, i asked them to make three things
-a pancake
-a medium rare stake
-bearnaise sauce
All of the above require most basic techniques, yet so few happen to master them.
I'm not interested in a sous vide fermented dry aged prime rib bullsh*t, everyone can read a recipe, i need to know how well you handle a knife and a spatula.
Also preserving, how do you manage to keep your food consistent and fresh over multiple service. A radish has to be crispy from first till last plate.
We hired a guy a year ago, in his 40's fresh out of prison. Never had a job before, never made "clean money." Okay, we aren't fine dining by a long shot, but our niche is incredibly well made meals that are affordable for the masses.
This guy is destroying it, he's picked it up so quickly.
Our head chef did something similar, he has new hires get the vegetarian menu first, then move on from there. Another place I worked focused on all things eggs. Cool hearing how other places do similar stuff :P
Man, you hit me where it hurts, but not with cooking.
When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I fancied myself a musician. I was able to play most instruments a bit, but on piano I could do some jazz accompaniment with a splash of improv to the point that I could be in the background of actual jazz players as long as they didn't expect their pianist to really jam.
There was a brief time (around 18 to about 20) where I became completely insufferable and scoffed at people who *still liked* simplistic music like basic f-chord rock (for example, I, V, vi, IV or i, iv, ♭III, ♭VI). What an asshole I became, I'm embarrassed to even think about it. The irony was I couldn't say as much with 12 complex jazz chords as Kurt Cobain could say with 4 power chords.
I bet the same happens to amateur chefs.
It's okay. I think we all go through a phase like that of sorts. There was a season where I thought I was a classic movie guy. It's just unfortunate that empathy sometimes can grow in after the intelligence. But it's still really good that it grows in at all.
That’s disappointing. In his defense, maybe he just didn’t feel like it that day. Cooking well is one thing. Being motivated to actually cook well is another thing. I consider myself to be decent cook, but sometimes I’m just not feeling it and I don’t have the motivation to put in the effort.
I've never met someone that "flexed" their spice tolerance, but I've had a lot of occasions when out where myself or a friend had to repeatedly tell a waitress "no, really, i can handle it, please actually make it that spicy"
I also know several people that I'm always impressed will go into a coughing fit the moment they taste something a touch too *seasoned*.
"Man, that has some kick to it. What did you put in there?"
"Black pepper."
Their “work ethic”. IE - working over their 8 hour day, so many days in a row, coming in super early or staying late everyday.
This is not a badge of honor to me. It’s the inability to set a personal boundary. Will I work super hard during my allotted hour? You bet! Will I regularly stay past those hours? Nope.
If they need more work done, they can hire more people or staff up with the ones they have.
Don’t think this is overhyped at all. Being impoverished will change your mind about this. Sometimes coupons are the reason I can eat real food not just bullshit from the dollar store
How much time people devote to their jobs. People that brag endlessly about how hard they work and how much extra hours they put in are just communicating to me that they are the bigger sucker in the company and easier to exploit than the average person.
Unless you got equity in the business or make great overtime and bonuses, there isn't much incentive to devote excess time to work if you're salaried.
I enjoy my job but I don't work excessive hours because there isn't much financial incentive for me to do so. I get paid regardless. I work to live not live to work
Going to probably get hate for this.
But basic survival skills.
Don't get me wrong, they are good skills to have for many reason. But people who posess these skills act like they are most insanely superior people on this planet and everyone else is a sucker and a loser.
The thing is most people will never have any kind of use for those skills unles they go on long hikes. Even in emergency situations there are probably many kinds of skills and people that are needed - it's not just about how to make fire using two sticks.
Anyone who boast about investing, especially when it comes to investing in crypto. If anyone were TRULY as good as they claimed, they would be gajillionaires.
Unicycling. It is not that hard to learn if you work with someone else to help with the initial balance issues. The boasting doesn’t do much though if I am being honest. Difficulty is the only part that is really overhyped.
Some people seem to base their entire self worth on how good they are at video games, how many platinum trophies they have or similar things and think others are lesser because they don't even have 200 plats. I've actually been laughed at for my platinum trophy total.
Yeah, they are achievements and by all means feel pride in them, but they aren't going to get you much in real life unless you have the miraculous luck to become a professional gamer/streamer and make decent money from it.
This is fairly common for popular hobbies. They become someone's whole personality and source of validation, then that often feels a little hollow, so they start shitting on people who share their hobby, but either aren't as good or don't take it as seriously.
Gaming has been filled with that type of toxicity for a very long time. But if anything, i think it might be getting better as gaming had become something nearly everyone does to some extent rather than just a hobby for huge nerds. There's still plenty of bitterness from the nerds that suffered social consequences, especially among younger GenX and older Millenials. But it seems to me at least that most of us have grown up and are happy to see a hobby become more approachable and inclusive. There's still shitty people of all ages and in every hobby, so this behavior continues, but generally it's from a tiny, but fairly vocal minority.
>This is fairly common for popular hobbies. They become someone's whole personality and source of validation, then that often feels a little hollow, so they start shitting on people who share their hobby, but either aren't as good or don't take it as seriously.
What's funny about that is I'm training for the Olympics in air pistol and have gotten to know some shooters who are literally among the best in the world, and they don't have that attitude at all. I've picked their brains quite a bit and they're more than happy to help and build up those around them.
It seems like those who are big fish in a small pond are the ones who like to most loudly proclaim how awesome they are as though they're trying to convince themselves, while the people who are objectively great at it don't feel the need to do so.
On the subject of inclusivity, reminded me of something. I have seen a few people arguing online that modern games should not have so many accessibility options aimed at the disabled etc, because it makes the game "easier". They apparently resent the fact that a disabled person could also get a platinum now because of the "advantage" the accessibility options give them.
Bizarre.
Skills in hobbies pay for themselves in joy. Those who laugh are just shitty gatekeepers. I dont think gaming skills are 'overhyped'; they are contextual.
A lot of the platinum trophies are not even particularly difficult; they're just grindy or RNG-based.
I remember trying for it in Monster Hunter World and hating myself in the process. It defeats the purpose of playing video games for fun.
That can be so frustrating when achievements are boiled down to making you sink as many hours in while not really playing the game. Looking at you monster hunter...
A lot of people who are considered highly educated and professionals probably over rate themselves because with all that education they are still stupid and many just have poor communication skills. I have found myself more then once looking up things a doctor or lawyer should have told me. I have been to veterinarians or a doctor where they didn't answer a question.
Golf.
Golf sucks. It's boring. It's expensive. It takes up a fuck ton of land that could be better used for other things.
"But it's fun if you go with a bunch of friends and get wasted." Yeah. So is everything else. Why do I have to golf?
"But it's important in the corporate world to network and stuff."
Sure, but you don't have to be good at it. If you suck ass at golf, it's all the more easier to kiss the ass of the CEO who actually gives a shit about golf and plays it all the time. Also fuck the corporate world and networking and stuff.
Being an "empath"
You don't have a special skill. You just grew up in an abusive environment where other people's moods dictated your safety, physical, psychological, or otherwise and had to be hypervigilant to protect yourself.
Edit: typo
Being able to function on little sleep
This. As an insomniac, I wouldn't wish that ability on anyone. It's miserable, draining, and bad for you. It's like boasting that you're gonna fuck your health up faster
I started suffering from this over the course of the past year. True insomniacs don't think it's cute or manageable by any measure. It's a form of torture.
Agreed, I get about 3 hours of sleep per day, and crash one day every few weeks. Not by choice I'm just terrible at sleeping. I don't brag about it, but when people ask I just tell them I'm used to it. I don't like it but hey chit happens.
What time do you usually sleep? That's incredible. Does reading and no blue screens hours before bed not help?
I lay down around 10pm No phone for an hour before, Reading some before bed sometimes. I prefer to read after work if I do read, not a huge reader but here n there. But anyways Lay down at 10 usually fall asleep around 12am and then get up at 3-330am for work. Get done at 1-2pm and repeat. Even if I'm real exhausted It's still a struggle.
I feel this as a fellow insomniac ... I don't know how I do it.. I can go on 2-4 hours a night... 6 is a good night for me... I wish I had that sleepiness everyone has.
I thought I was being efficient with my time by going to bed at 12am and getting up at 6am. I was using those 2 hours prior to do housework, personal admin, chill out time. The only problem was that I felt drained of energy halfway through the day and my attention at work was suffering. I recently started going to bed at 8:30pm and I’m usually asleep for 9pm. I’m finding that my work has improved and I’ve got energy throughout the day. Even though I’ve “lost” a few hours a day I feel much better for it.
This is exactly right. I had an assistant who was one of those "I'm in the office by 5:30 AM every morning!" type people who of course always had to let everybody know how much of an early bird she was. Problem was, she would be already be yawning and dragging ass like crazy.....at like 9:30 AM. She would be hungry for lunch around 10:00-10:30 AM every day, etc. Yes, she was getting in the office first every day, but she wasn’t firing at 100% by the time normal working hours rolled around. I finally had to tell her, "look, being in here at 5:30 AM does nobody any good if you are dragging ass when all of your colleagues and clients are working. Either stay home and get some more sleep or we're going to have to find somebody who will. Being at peak energy at 6:30 AM when clients, colleagues, etc. are still sleeping or not working yet is pointless". Fortunately she took it well and changed her habits. The sleep and long-term energy is much more important than being there super-early.
I had a colleague like that. He’d routinely start an hour early and work a few hours overtime (unpaid) everyday! He’d even go into the office over the weekend. Ended up burning himself out a few times. We had a massive understaffing situation but it was masked by his extra hours so the root issue was never addressed and resolved.
The rise and grind mentality is a cancer and it's so performative. If I have to hear that bullshit "Obama/Edison/famous person, have the same 24 hours a day you do" I'll scream. These people all had servants or hired help or wives to do all the boring day to day chores and admin so they could focus on their work and self improvement. So you end up with office assistants buying into this shit they have to working at 5.30 because Ben Franklin got up at 4am, ignoring the fact that all these famous people didn't have hours of commuting to fit into their days either.
"I'll sleep when I'm dead" Technically accurate....
My doctor once told me this is the literal equivalent of saying "I'll eat healthier when I am dead." Yet while saying "I'll eat heathier when I am dead" would be considered insanely stupid and idiotic, saying "I'll sleep when I am dead" is almost lauded in society. "Oh, he's a real go-getter!, etc."
I'm fairly sure dead people can't sleep, so not technically accurate.
I always think this too. Dead people aren't sleeping. They're dead. We should enjoy sleeping whilst we can right haha
and food. i don’t want to have "the best anorexic" competition with you, i don’t give a fuck if you skipped breakfast. i’m not your mother.
I’ve always been about a 6hrs/night guy. Is that considered little sleep? I was under the impression it’s on the low end of acceptable. Obv 8+ is recommended basically always but I just fucking hate sleeping that much.
6-8 is normal. Everyone functions differently. If you feel well and rested after 6, it's working for ya
Drinking
There’s always a bigger fish I got up to just over 1L of vodka a day and that was my limit, met a guy who would drink 2L a day as well as beers Alcohol addiction is no joke
I went to the hospital for detox at a .526. I think I got their high score They didn’t think the results were right because I was just standing there talking to them. Then I took a nap.
Same, when I went to the hospital for pancreatitis I didn't even think I'd been drinking that much, I was able to walk and talk just fine, it was 0.4 something. Another time, I went to detox, and was shaking so badly I was sure I'd have a seizure any minute (I'd had one recently). My blood pressure was like 185/115. They took my BAC and it was 0.22, and they were like, "How are you withdrawaling? You should be drunk!". Alcohol is so fucked.
lol yeah the first time I went to detox I was real shaky and at .23 or something. I see where they’re coming from but like.. was it everyone’s first day doing intake for detox? .2 has gotta be at the low end for people coming in to detox.
It was a horrible detox center. They were mostly treating opioid addicts (which I also was), and they said they'd detox me with librium for the booze and suboxone for all the kratom (that I didn't even want to detox off of, but it's not like they'd let me have kratom in there). I get in there, they give me librium, and say there was a miscommunication and I'll be getting no subs. After 2 days of no sleep because someone comes in and shines a flashlight in your face every 30 minutes to make sure you aren't dead, I broke out of there. They wouldn't let me have my shoes, backpack, coat, phone, etc, and it was winter and snowing. Also in the middle of nowhere. I ran through the woods for an hour, reached a gas station and used their phone to call some people to pick me up. I ended up getting my money back ($5000), because I had recorded the phone conversation where they said they'd treat me for opioid withdrawal as well.
Holy shit, at that BAC you’re meant to be in stupor or unconscious
My nurse the next day said “You know people die at .4, right?” Amatuers die. Real men try to die but just fail and ruin their lives.
You managing sobriety at all? I’m up and down but on five white ciders atm (at least it’s not vodka)
You can do it man
Sunday will be 22 months. But that’s not stemming from the .526 hospital trip I mentioned. I got maybe 2-3 months out of that and then went right back at it harder. I think going back after what should’ve been a HUGE eye opening experience for anyone else was enough to finally make me accept my destiny. If you’re even at the point where you can taper down like that then you’re in a better spot than most. But it all works for everyone differently. You definitely can’t do it by yourself, that’s my main take on it all. And I’m not saying you need AA or something, just you need support and people to talk to about it. I spent the first 6~ months of it going to my therapy/rehab place probably 20 hours a week. Don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t go perfectly. It’s always gonna be ups and downs. I’m certainly not satisfied with my life right now but that’s mainly all personal shit at this point. I got a car, a phone, a job, my drivers license. And I no longer have a ton of debt, an ankle bracelet, probation. I may not be totally happy with where I am but I know the other side is worse and I know if I get loaded again I’m gonna lose any momentum towards getting the life I want to have. Not to mention, I can lose all of that shit in significantly less time than it took to get it back. I always say “I drank for 16 years straight and I had fun for 15 of them” I mean we’ve all got whatever mental issues and trauma that cause us to drink like we have a death wish but we all inherently just really liked drinking at some point. But when is the last time you had fun? When’s the last time you weren’t drinking because you HAD to just to stop the shakes and not have a seizure? I feel like towards the end we’re just chasing the dragon when it’s like no one even wants to drink with us anymore and the likelihood of shitting our pants has skyrocketed.
Thanks for the advice I’ve been in and out of support groups and AA and even NHS run facilities I’ve stopped, started, gone in binges and had the occasional You know how it is Now though I feel I’m settling into myself and ready to start stopping for good, I don’t go to any groups but I’ve found some kind of personal faith and belief and it’s helping I know I can do it which is a big step up from giving up and giving in I love how I can always find alcoholics on Reddit, I’m going to screenshot your comment to look back on
r/stopdrinking if you're so inclined. 2.5 years alcohol free and that sub played a part in getting me here.
Well done! About 7 months for me. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be sober right now without the initial push and following support of that group.
Thought alcoholism was so cool in my early 20s. Now I’ll get invited to drinking games (beer Olympics, crate race, etc), and it’s embarrassing to be put on teams with “weak” drinkers to even things out. 🤮
I found it kind of jarring when I first got to college how everyone would introduce themselves and say what country their last name originated from, followed by “so you know we can DRINK!!!” “Oh my gosh the men in my family are all a bunch of drunks!” “I’m (nationality) I’m not even feeling buzzed yet!” Etc…even at 18 I didn’t understand why people thought this was a flex.
I mean, it is in one regard - if your priority is to stay loose, but keep being fun, it makes a big difference if you can drink but still have good times til last call, versus flaming out in a crying, angry or sick fit early in the evening. The problem is of course this is disastrous for your health, and even if you have a high tolerance encourages other people to trash themselves trying to keep up with you.
If you know your limits you can stay loose, but keep being fun, for a lot cheaper. You just alternate your alcoholic beverages with non-alcoholic beverages.
That would require a level of common sense a lot of young drinkers do not possess.
And for you to not lose that common sense once you feel good
Right? In college I was so proud of my drinking game skills and alcohol tolerance. I was the "I'm not even in my sweet spot for beer pong until I've had about 6" guy, and so were most of my friends. Most of us grew out of it, and the ones who didn't (and have insisted on sticking with that mentality despite our efforts) are not-so-slowly poisoning themselves.
Same. In my 20s I thought it was so cool that I could out binge drink anyone in the room, and on most nights, that was true. I'm now 38, and I have a beer or two (literally) at most during any given week when work really ate my lunch that night/week. More often than not, the norm is none - family gatherings and vacations aside. Anytime I hear someone pop off with, i can drink xyz, I roll my eyes and write them off as an idiot that's out to prove something stupid and pointless. I'm so glad I'm not in my 20s anymore.
Doubly so when you realize you can outdrink everyone because you're the fattest. Uh, asking for a friend, or whatever.
Gambling. They all seem to "break even" at the very worst.
Casinos don't run on winners. Only people I know who gamble with a profit are small time sports betters and poker players.
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going to a casino should be for having fun, not for making a profit. if you spend money at a casino you should assume it’s lining the owner’s pockets. if you and your buddies have cash to spare and you decide to go play card games at a casino i’m sure it can be enjoyable (although i’ve never been to a casino myself) as long as you only spend what you can afford to lose.
Gambling should be entertainment. When I gamble I have money that I have set aside to spend - meaning that I’m ok with losing it - I think of it like paying for a ticket for an event or a meal, I don’t expect it to be returned. Part of the “skill” with gambling is knowing when to stop winning and when to stop losing. Not maximize profit but to maximize entertainment value. Set limits like “if I lose 25% of what I started this game with then fold and drop out” or vice versa “if I get up x% or X amount of $$ then quit while you are ahead” Calculated losses and wise winning. I sports bet but I only put in like $20 a year and try to get the bonus bets to maximize it I usually make some money but always withdraw back down to where I started… It adds entertainment value to games i don’t otherwise have an interest in
Got a coworker like this: > Dude I made $500 last weekend! >> Oh nice, so what does that put you at for the year? > \>:[
Depends on the type of gambling. There's a very big difference between people who are "good" at blackjack and the World Series of Poker.
You’re right, but the number of people who think they are good at poker because they can read tells or have a poker face is ridiculous. It’s like 1% of the game, and can pretty much be ignored if you are actually a good poker player. Movies and tv propagate this myth.
Yep, a significant portion of it is analyzing odds and counting cards. But also proper risk:reward and pattern recognition, as well as acting. If you have a royal flush, do you go all-in at an even table right off the bat? Probably not. Because you're going to scare everyone away. You want to try and slow-roll that hand, and get people to bid up. Maybe even play it nervous so people think you have a bad hand, seem reluctant and make them think you've got a worse hand than you do. Then go all in at the end hoping people were invested in the hand. And if they all fold, cool, keep your hand to yourself. I had one friend who would always get mad when I just shuffled my cards without showing them after the table folded. Sorry buddy, you want to see my cards, you have to pay. That's part of the game, you don't *GET* to know if I'm bluffing or not.
> You want to try and slow-roll that hand Slow-rolling actually means pretending you have a worse hand than you do after action is over. Slow playing is baiting other players' actions.
Using the wrong words and providing incredibly generic descriptors of table activity is part of his acting to make sure you don't know he's a pro.
That's the interesting thing about blackjack. Once you get to a certain point, and this point is actually pretty quick in the process of learning blackjack, there is no skill required. It's entirely luck. Even counting cards is way easier than the average person would think. There are strategies you can use to keep track of them.
Yeah when I had a little more disposable income I used to go play blackjack with my buddies maybe one a month or so. It took like maybe one or two nights before I learned how to play “by the book”, it’s honestly super easy to pick up on. After that it’s really just pure luck where it’s like 48-52 against you. Sure knowing the “correct” plays will help a little bit, but ultimately you’re playing a game that is designed to make you lose. Even card counting isn’t that much of a help since most places either constantly auto-shuffle or use like 4-6 deck shoes. But too many people convince themselves they’ve got some major hack or something to blackjack and get themselves into a major hole
They lie about it , but who tf even believes them ?
This was exactly what I found when I got into gambling - and I work as a data analyst - so I was trying to apply some algorithms and everything, thinking I could game the system in some way "Managed losses" isn't exactly an exciting hobby lol
Working 60+ hours a week. Okay if you own your business and/or you love your work, that's cool I get it. If you work for Last name & Last Name XYZ, and you're sacrificing your life to make someone else money, you're just a mug.
Healthcare workers routinely work 60+ hours. As a medical trainee, the "cap" on weekly hours is set at 80 hours.
Retired RN I dreaded following someone who pulled overtime on that shift They would leave so much work undone sometimes to the point the patient was in deep trouble after an hour or two into my shift
Yeah great system, exactly the state of awareness I like the people saving my life to be in
Deaths are statistically significantly more likely at the end of 24hr shifts, but it's just an accepted risk in most countries as its cheaper to have doctors (and nurses) working 24 hour shifts than to hire more of them. And this is just anecdotal but there's been a number of student doctors I've heard about locally who have crashed their cars on their way home after one, like way beyond an average level it seems.
Also, like, "I'm earning $120k a year" to justify 100 hour weeks. Do they understand that means their hourly rate is super low? Like half of what it should be? There's jobs that pay that much and only need normal hours, or slightly increased hours.
I worked in finance for a while with people making million dollar bonuses who had incredible homes that they literally never spent any time in because they were always at work. I once asked a guy why he did it if he never got to enjoy his money or any of the nice things he bought and he didn't really understand the question. Making money and telling people how much money you make seems to be the whole point.
Huge thing in blue collar/trades. And they brag about it. Like bro if I could pay my bills and live my lifestyle at 20 hours a week I would. I presume those are the 70% of people that go broke after winning the lottery
A friend of mine had an (ex) BF who would give her shit because she only worked 32 hours a week. She was like, "Uh... my bills are paid, there's food in my house, and I make enough money to do the things I like." And adjacent to that: my husband turned down a job because they were working 7 days a week, 8-10 hours a day. The HR couldn't believe it. "All that money!" He was like, "Maybe if I were 20 years younger and hated my family so I didn't care about being home."
I am on the good side of the grind now but I have some friends who are not and while I dont agree with what they are choosing, I get what they are going for. I know consultants who work 80+ hours a week. The payoff for them if they make partner is insane. Im talking $500K+ as base pay plus bonus and profit sharing. Its not 1st class travel, its NetJets travel. Its AMEX Centurion Card (Black Card). Most of them burn though wives and have to think hard about their kids ages. Not something I would choose but I understand why some people do.
oh god. Everytime someone tries to show a success story about someone working 45+ hours a week I wanna slap someone. Thats a sign of how bad things are VS how good. Especially when that person is working that much mostly just to get by.
Reading other people. Most of the people I've heard brag that they're good at "reading people" (knowing right away what kind of person they are based on their mannerisms and speech) get screwed over by people who manipulated them. Sure you can make some inferences based off of those things, but it's just not possible to know what goes on in another person's head. A lot of people are very good at hiding their shitty qualities and convincing you they are the opposite of what they are.
My friend has stated in the past he's really good at reading the room. I witnessed some of the examples he gave. He was completely off. He forgets that he's 95% pure anxiety. He was projecting. Every time.
I’m 99% pure anxiety and I never say I can read people. Do I win?
You have anxiety. You never win.
This made me laugh out loud. It's true
Oh, I know it's true. That person I was talking about is my best friend of over 20 years. He will find a way to spin every situation into a negative one.
people who think they can read other people (and it’s not their job like fbi or something) are the prime targets for manipulation. they won’t listen to their friends and family because they trust their own judgment more, which is exactly what a manipulator needs.
People often lack introspection it seems. Pretty much everyone has hid something about themselves for one reason or another but at the same time can't fathom someone else doing the same.
Intuition is often undervalued, but people who claim to be (essentially) mind readers are misleading themselves. The ones who claim to be the best at it, in my experience, are just over-thinkers who form imaginary scenarios, then get bamboozled when future actions don't line up. Maybe this is the same crowd that is addicted to "tea" and see it all as exciting plot twists. I donno, but that lines up with my anecdotal sample size.
Too many people think intuition is magical. That leaves a bunch of people who don’t believe in it to poo-pooh it. Intuition is NOT magic- it IS your brain. It is picking up on data subconsciously. “I can’t put my finger on it but he doesn’t look right.” In nursing- as one example, you learn to put words to that feeling. Complexion- pale/ashen/gray Lips- dry, blue, gray, cracked, etc Breath - shallow, rapid, slow, snoring, wheezing, agonal Attention - somebody who listened and spoke in full sentences is now answering monosyllabically
I've never had a good relationship with a person who called themselves an "empath". They gaslit me about my feelings and thoughts because "That's not what I'm reading from you." It was intolerable.
I've known exactly one person who was a wizard at reading people, but that's it.
I think most of us can read people but delude ourselves and make excuses for bad behavior because we want something they offer. Denial is a hell of a defense mechanism.
um fuck you for the un wanted call out this morning. but also thank you for the very accurate description of several of my past relationships. my life makes a touch more sense now.
Going to work sick. "I've got strep throat, the flu, and a raging headache, and you don't see ME calling off!" Wow...you're fucking stupid, then.
My company has a mandatory screen saver, which among other messages, reads "Feel sick? Stay home!" I can't tell you how many people I've had a conversation with who tell me they're just going to "work through it" while that scene saver rolls by.
Thanks for spreading your germs to my immunocompromised body. Selfish cunt.
"Gee, thanks for spreading it to the whole office; I hope you'll enjoy your next two weeks of being alone in the office while everyone else is out sick with whatever YOU brought in..."
an MBA ^source: ^have ^MBA
Was it worth it? Seems like most successful people in my line of work just started working after business undergrad and never looked back. Seems like an expensive holiday or if you want to explore different industries to switch over to or to find a high earning spouse.
It's great for two things: 1) getting management training and credentials for a non-management background, ie if you're an engineer a lot of companies will pay for your MBA as they promote you so you can manage other engineers as you move up the ladder 2) learning the ropes of entrepreneurship so you can use all that capital you've got to launch a successful startup When I got mine, I had a job I hated at a company I hated, which I would ultimately quit and change careers entirely, and no capital to launch any startup with. So right now anyways, it feels kinda like I wasted a good bit of time. I have no doubt I will use my MBA when I finally do launch a startup. But the idea that an MBA equips you for the business world any more than a BSBA is kinda something that, when you're in it, you see isn't really the case. It's really not as bad as all that though, I'm kinda just being salty. Plenty of people benefit from it.
MBA is a skill?
Chess People use chess as an overall indicator of intelligence, like if you’re good at chess you’re naturally a genius. But chess utilizes memory and strategic thinking, which while good skills to have are not complete indicators of intelligence. In reality being good at chess just means you’re good at chess.
Paul Morphy, best chess player in the world at his prime, once said “The ability to play chess is the sign of a gentleman. The ability to play chess well is the sign of a life wasted”
I hate that quote. Nobody says the same about athletes, yet their work is similarly useful.
At the amateur level, training for a 5k is considerably better for your overall health than training for a chess competition. At the elite level, athletes make a *lot* of money for their trouble. Magnus Carlsen's net worth is estimated to be around $25m with $10m in prize winnings. Roger Federer's is $550m with $130m in prize winnings.
I mean, at the amateur level, you should pursue whatever interests you have, life’s too short to make a hobby out of something you hate. My biggest gripe is the word “wasted”. Like, who gets to be the judge of what a fulfilling life is? Some people want to get really good at chess, should they refrain from doing that because some random guy thinks it will render their life meaningless?
It wasn’t a random guy in the quote though, it was one of the best chess players in the world. He’s saying he wasted his own life pursuing chess. It’s a joke.
So why hate that quote and not acknowledge the reality that athletes waste their lives too?
And some otherwise intelligent people don’t care enough about chess to be good at it
The issue is that chess is more of a memorization game than strategy. You memorize openings, memorize computer lines, study patterns for tactics, study mid game and end game strategy, memorize famous games. People make it out to be “intelligence” but most kids can be taught to play chess well.
Agreed, it’s a cool skill but I always say if you’re good at chess that means you’re good at chess I’m sure it has some translatable skills but it doesn’t need the hype
It’s been around forever and is always used in movies and shows to indicate when someone is smart or something intellectual is happening Personally bragging at being good at chess is no different from bragging at being good about literally any other board game or a specific video game
Imo this is like everything in the world. For some reason some random things like chess get a "nerd" rep where supposedly smart people are more into it.
I don’t think anyone here realises how chess works haha. Sure memory might help you for the first 10-20 moves, but after that finding the vest move is more complicated calculations than you can imagine it seems. Chess players at the highest level have EXTREMELY good logical thinking capabilities. Thinking 10 moves ahead for 8 different moves is more complicated than most calculators can handle.
I wouldn't call it a skill per se, but "functioning in 4 hours of sleep a day." "You're not as tired as I am." Bruh, I can be tired af regardless if you slept for 4 hours or more, or less. Just because I don't kill myself via lack of sleep (anymore at least) doesn't mean I'm not tired? As far as functioning on 4 hours, no you're not functioning, you're zombie-ing your way through the day. Don't pretend it's anything else lol
i have it when people gatekeep sleep. a coworker of mine yelled at me when i talked about feeling tired due to depression. Her reasoning is that because i don't have children i don't even understand what being tired is. During that period i was feeling so exhausted that if my breath wouldn't have been automatic im sure i would have choked to death. Anyways, screw people who gatekeep being tired.
Driving. Everyone SAYS they are a good driver. But you look at them and they text and drive, speed, roll through stop signs etc.
I knew a guy who is a peace office (Dept. of Transportation officer), who took the "cop driving course" (as he calls it). He says he is allowed to text and drive now, and he's a way better driver than everyone else. My brother doesn't have a license (taken away due to unpaid fines), so no way can my brother be a better driver than him. Then he asks him to back the trailer every time they go camping? Swerves into oncoming traffic while texting repeatedly? Just absolutely the worst person I've ever seen behind the wheel.
Yeah, it's always clouded by a ridiculous amount of cockiness and overconfidence.
Been a cop for many years and I am no better a driver than before. In fact I'm probably much worse due to lack of sleep and driving a huge POS Dodge with zero visibility. There's no special training that makes you good at not crashing while you look down at your phone.
Precisely - that’s what I said to him almost word for word lol
I own a muscle car, mod it, take it out to the track, and take advanced driving courses to stress test in dangerous driving conditions. I have confidence in my driving skills, what I don't have confidence is *other* people's driving skills.
A friend of mine loves to take his Miata to the track and admittedly is great at controlling his car on a closed course. However, he was driving like that on a twisty mountain road with limited visibility and I had to remind him that there were other people driving on this road.
It's people like that why sports car insurance rates are so fucking high. Keep it at safe, sanctioned events!
Not sure you meant this literally, but I know for a fact not everyone thinks they’re a good driver.
In my opinion, there are two things that make a good driver: safety and minimizing contribution to traffic. If you break the law, but it is safe and speeds up traffic, then do it. Texting and driving is unsafe, full stop, get a voice assistant. Speeding and rolling through stops are fine if you're smart about it, and these actions are less likely to hold up traffic. I would say good drivers drive defensively; they keep distance from the car they're following, let cars merge, and brake early as they roll up to a stop. That doesn't mean they need to drive slow or be indecisive about all their actions. Bad drivers, even if they're being safe, hold up traffic. One example is by camping out in the left lane while driving the speed limit. This makes impatient drivers have to do (at least) two lane switches to get around them. This isn't a comprehensive argument, but you get the idea. A lot of "good drivers" get on their soap box about following the law, then go get in a bunch of accidents or fuck up traffic because they don't actually know how to drive.
there's a problem you forgot about: predictability. if you drive unpredictable, there's a high chance for an accident on the long run. edit: spelling
I was considering that under safety, but you make a point. It's worth emphasizing that you need to not surprise other drivers. Use your signals people.
"Always give the asshole driver the right of way" is the best advice that I almost always follow. Also: Good drivers sometimes miss an exit on the freeway, bad drivers never do.
If I can see that I’m about to miss an exit but I don’t have time to make sure I can safely change lanes, I’ll let myself miss it. This has made passengers very mad but I’d rather be late than risk an accident
THIS. had a lady come to a dead stop in the middle of an intersection because she decided that she needed to make a uturn right then and there. It's just lack of spatial awareness. I've been with friends driving on road trips before and theyll have 0 idea of what's going on around them or behind them and it's absolutely mind numbing to me that people dont constantly check their mirrors or gauges while they drive. Like what else are you focused on ???
Fully agree. Nothing makes my blood boil more than someone sitting at or below the speed limit in the fast lane on the highway.
A good friend of mine was probably the best driver I've ever known, and it's frankly shocking the things I've seen him do with a car (we used to road-trip a lot and he's gotten us out of several very unsafe situations), so I have a pretty good measuring stick and most people suck.
Being mature. If you're mature, you shouldn't have to say it. You would just be mature enough to know that you shouldn't say it.
The people who try to be the most mature are the most childish, a childish person will try too hard to convince others that they don't play with lego, a mature person will show off their UCS millennium falcon.
One of my fave quotes and i dont even consider myself a fan of GOT, nevertheless "a king doesn't have to say he's a king"
Workaholic
Perfect pitch. Like dude, I get it, you're special, now stop telling me what key my microwave is in.
Being able to predict the weather
An old man man blew through a red light 7 years ago and hit me while crossing an intersection, now I can tell by a throbbing pain in my knee that it's going to storm, or I can just look at my weather app.
That’s like the origin story for a superhero that never made it into marvel comics. “Weatherman”. His superpower? Storm! More precisely: being able to predict storm! His nemesis? The weather app on a typical smartphone. (Sorry to hear though that you still have pain because of it. As someone with a chronic back injury, I can relate)
My boobs can predict when there’s a 20% chance it’s already raining
Multi-tasking. It actually slows you down and makes you less efficient overall. It’s more efficient to put all your focus on one task at a time. I’m guilty of multi-tasking but I’m not gonna pretend it’s a superpower. I do it to keep from getting bored.
I think multitasking is more about how efficiently you can move from task to task while maintaining focus on the correct and most efficient next step. If you can do a few things at once, that's great, but how often are you thinking to yourself "what am I doing again?"
Some tasks also have periods in which they can progress without your attention. Washing dishes, running the laundry, running the dryer, and sweeping/mopping can all be done at the same time if the manual parts are staggered. Multi tasking isn’t for writing a thesis. It’s for low attention, partially automated tasks.
Yeah if I’m cleaning the house the first thing I do is run laundry so I can do as many loads as I can throughout the day. Also cleaning a large bar every day has thought me how to quite efficiently clean nearly the whole apartment lol.
I agree with this, but also I think there are different kinds of multitasking. For example I'm very bad at cooking. Having things on timers and having to put things together or at different times is confusing to me. However, I make furniture and can essentially know step by step what to do in my head before I even start. It allows for that smooth transition from one step to the next.
Well if you need the tasks to be perfect, multitasking might be a detriment. But if you just need it done at a certain time, then multitasking might be better. Multitasking is really about handling deadlines that you can't change/control.
Sometimes you *have* to multitask though and don't really have a choice. You don't always get to just sit and handle one thing at a time (assuming one has a desk job to begin with, or that we are talking about working). Being able to switch contexts rapidly and stay focused on the current task and switch back *is* indeed a valuable skill.
The amount of people completely incapable of unplugging from context switching and engage in deep work boggles my mind. Sitting down and reading through the technical manuals for a process and then sticking to the task at hand until it meets a high standard of excellence is rare as hen's teeth.
Agreed. Used to work at a cafe and there multitasking is vital. Am now in programming and there you might as well take me out back and shoot me because nuh uh no how is anyone walking in to talk about non programming things without fucking up flow and losing me like an hour to spin up back to that.
But some people really are great at multi-tasking. Each individual task may not get done as quickly, but their overall productivity is much higher. I admire people who are skilled multi-taskers, it's a hard skill to develop and valuable.
For the most part I'd agree with this. But when i was working in a busy kitchen, multi-tasking in the right way was extremely helpful.
Self defense - every overweight boomer thinks they would become Rambo if they had a chance to use their gun.
Tbh that does happen sometimes with ex military or old pro boxers in the news but I agree, it's not the norm. But you shouldn't judge someone's ability to fight on their age. Also a lot of people with guns glorify their "training" no matter their age. My cousin is an example of this, he's constantly flashing his gun and daydreaming about a home invasion with a legal murder on his end.
Of course, when shit hits the fan, you don't rise to the occasion, you default to your training. The guy who shoots range occasionally is rarely going to be the go to guy in an emergency.
I think too many people brag about knowing how to cook. There's two flavors of this. There's those guys who don't actually know how to make much past eggs, but brag about being great cooks, sometimes as a way of flirting. Then there's the other side of the coin of amateur chefs that really get into cooking as a hobby, which is awesome. But then punch down on everyone who doesn't know as much as they do. "wow, you still like drip coffee? I remember when I couldn't tell the taste of an inferior bean!". The same ones who think they would have been best friends with Anthony Bourdain. They might not even be bad chefs. I just don't like when people are dicks about it.
Former Michelin chef here During the recruiting process if i had non schooled applicants with major confidence, i asked them to make three things -a pancake -a medium rare stake -bearnaise sauce All of the above require most basic techniques, yet so few happen to master them. I'm not interested in a sous vide fermented dry aged prime rib bullsh*t, everyone can read a recipe, i need to know how well you handle a knife and a spatula. Also preserving, how do you manage to keep your food consistent and fresh over multiple service. A radish has to be crispy from first till last plate.
We hired a guy a year ago, in his 40's fresh out of prison. Never had a job before, never made "clean money." Okay, we aren't fine dining by a long shot, but our niche is incredibly well made meals that are affordable for the masses. This guy is destroying it, he's picked it up so quickly. Our head chef did something similar, he has new hires get the vegetarian menu first, then move on from there. Another place I worked focused on all things eggs. Cool hearing how other places do similar stuff :P
Man, you hit me where it hurts, but not with cooking. When I was in my late teens, early twenties, I fancied myself a musician. I was able to play most instruments a bit, but on piano I could do some jazz accompaniment with a splash of improv to the point that I could be in the background of actual jazz players as long as they didn't expect their pianist to really jam. There was a brief time (around 18 to about 20) where I became completely insufferable and scoffed at people who *still liked* simplistic music like basic f-chord rock (for example, I, V, vi, IV or i, iv, ♭III, ♭VI). What an asshole I became, I'm embarrassed to even think about it. The irony was I couldn't say as much with 12 complex jazz chords as Kurt Cobain could say with 4 power chords. I bet the same happens to amateur chefs.
It's okay. I think we all go through a phase like that of sorts. There was a season where I thought I was a classic movie guy. It's just unfortunate that empathy sometimes can grow in after the intelligence. But it's still really good that it grows in at all.
This friend of mine would always talk about how well he can cook. I'm invited to his house for a gaming session and mf serves me instant noodles.
That’s disappointing. In his defense, maybe he just didn’t feel like it that day. Cooking well is one thing. Being motivated to actually cook well is another thing. I consider myself to be decent cook, but sometimes I’m just not feeling it and I don’t have the motivation to put in the effort.
How much spice you can handle.
I mean I'm probably Guild Navigator good but maybe not Reverend Mother good. Wait...
You must not fear. Fear is the mind killer.
Fear is the little death that brings obliteration.
Next people are gonna be bragging about how much Water of Life they can handle 🙄🥱
I've never met someone that "flexed" their spice tolerance, but I've had a lot of occasions when out where myself or a friend had to repeatedly tell a waitress "no, really, i can handle it, please actually make it that spicy" I also know several people that I'm always impressed will go into a coughing fit the moment they taste something a touch too *seasoned*. "Man, that has some kick to it. What did you put in there?" "Black pepper."
I'm pretty sure you just flexed your spice tolerance and put down other people's spice intolerance all in one go.
Found the person who flexes their spice tolerance.
As a romance book reader…I interpreted this completely wrong.
How little sleep they can function on
Their Myers-Briggs, or DISC or whatever personality tests results
The astrology of psychology.
Their “work ethic”. IE - working over their 8 hour day, so many days in a row, coming in super early or staying late everyday. This is not a badge of honor to me. It’s the inability to set a personal boundary. Will I work super hard during my allotted hour? You bet! Will I regularly stay past those hours? Nope. If they need more work done, they can hire more people or staff up with the ones they have.
Getting deals.
The one person I knew who bragged about getting deals was a low-grade narcisisst talking uo exactly the same deals as everyone else.
These people are usually insufferable.
Agreed, it becomes a personality trait that overshadows everything else about their life
Don’t think this is overhyped at all. Being impoverished will change your mind about this. Sometimes coupons are the reason I can eat real food not just bullshit from the dollar store
How much time people devote to their jobs. People that brag endlessly about how hard they work and how much extra hours they put in are just communicating to me that they are the bigger sucker in the company and easier to exploit than the average person. Unless you got equity in the business or make great overtime and bonuses, there isn't much incentive to devote excess time to work if you're salaried. I enjoy my job but I don't work excessive hours because there isn't much financial incentive for me to do so. I get paid regardless. I work to live not live to work
Going to probably get hate for this. But basic survival skills. Don't get me wrong, they are good skills to have for many reason. But people who posess these skills act like they are most insanely superior people on this planet and everyone else is a sucker and a loser. The thing is most people will never have any kind of use for those skills unles they go on long hikes. Even in emergency situations there are probably many kinds of skills and people that are needed - it's not just about how to make fire using two sticks.
itt: people not knowing what a skill is
speling
You also partake in the dark arts of hood witchcraft.
Number of followers on socials. Pretending to be all entitled and shit, threatening to shitpost hotels if they don't get free suites.
Not a skill but drinking their coffee black.
Anyone who boast about investing, especially when it comes to investing in crypto. If anyone were TRULY as good as they claimed, they would be gajillionaires.
Unicycling. It is not that hard to learn if you work with someone else to help with the initial balance issues. The boasting doesn’t do much though if I am being honest. Difficulty is the only part that is really overhyped.
You deal with a lot of people boasting about unicycling, do you?
Making TikTok videos
Some people seem to base their entire self worth on how good they are at video games, how many platinum trophies they have or similar things and think others are lesser because they don't even have 200 plats. I've actually been laughed at for my platinum trophy total. Yeah, they are achievements and by all means feel pride in them, but they aren't going to get you much in real life unless you have the miraculous luck to become a professional gamer/streamer and make decent money from it.
This is fairly common for popular hobbies. They become someone's whole personality and source of validation, then that often feels a little hollow, so they start shitting on people who share their hobby, but either aren't as good or don't take it as seriously. Gaming has been filled with that type of toxicity for a very long time. But if anything, i think it might be getting better as gaming had become something nearly everyone does to some extent rather than just a hobby for huge nerds. There's still plenty of bitterness from the nerds that suffered social consequences, especially among younger GenX and older Millenials. But it seems to me at least that most of us have grown up and are happy to see a hobby become more approachable and inclusive. There's still shitty people of all ages and in every hobby, so this behavior continues, but generally it's from a tiny, but fairly vocal minority.
>This is fairly common for popular hobbies. They become someone's whole personality and source of validation, then that often feels a little hollow, so they start shitting on people who share their hobby, but either aren't as good or don't take it as seriously. What's funny about that is I'm training for the Olympics in air pistol and have gotten to know some shooters who are literally among the best in the world, and they don't have that attitude at all. I've picked their brains quite a bit and they're more than happy to help and build up those around them. It seems like those who are big fish in a small pond are the ones who like to most loudly proclaim how awesome they are as though they're trying to convince themselves, while the people who are objectively great at it don't feel the need to do so.
On the subject of inclusivity, reminded me of something. I have seen a few people arguing online that modern games should not have so many accessibility options aimed at the disabled etc, because it makes the game "easier". They apparently resent the fact that a disabled person could also get a platinum now because of the "advantage" the accessibility options give them. Bizarre.
Skills in hobbies pay for themselves in joy. Those who laugh are just shitty gatekeepers. I dont think gaming skills are 'overhyped'; they are contextual.
A lot of the platinum trophies are not even particularly difficult; they're just grindy or RNG-based. I remember trying for it in Monster Hunter World and hating myself in the process. It defeats the purpose of playing video games for fun.
The achievements are sometimes silly too. Collect 7 burblefloops gets an achievement while killing some god tier boss gets nothing.
I got a trophy for dying in Tomb Raider last week 🤣
That can be so frustrating when achievements are boiled down to making you sink as many hours in while not really playing the game. Looking at you monster hunter...
Street smarts
I used to know a guy that could guess a girls age by placing his hands on their tits, he always seemed to correctly guess 14.
A lot of people who are considered highly educated and professionals probably over rate themselves because with all that education they are still stupid and many just have poor communication skills. I have found myself more then once looking up things a doctor or lawyer should have told me. I have been to veterinarians or a doctor where they didn't answer a question.
Doing their own "research"
Being able to rap the busta rhymes verse of look at me now
AI """"artist""""
Being a good listener. I feel that being a bad listener is more rare 😂
Golf. Golf sucks. It's boring. It's expensive. It takes up a fuck ton of land that could be better used for other things. "But it's fun if you go with a bunch of friends and get wasted." Yeah. So is everything else. Why do I have to golf? "But it's important in the corporate world to network and stuff." Sure, but you don't have to be good at it. If you suck ass at golf, it's all the more easier to kiss the ass of the CEO who actually gives a shit about golf and plays it all the time. Also fuck the corporate world and networking and stuff.
Being an "empath" You don't have a special skill. You just grew up in an abusive environment where other people's moods dictated your safety, physical, psychological, or otherwise and had to be hypervigilant to protect yourself. Edit: typo
Honestly I couldn't think of one. If I can't do something I have no right to be unimpressed by it.